Siren Blood
by MidnightWalking
Summary: What if the Twilight character were real? How would they feel about having their existence made known? Maybe there is more in this world than what we really see and know. Please be kind and review.
1. Chapter 1 We Exist

**Siren Blood**

**When I originally began writing this about a year ago, I meant it more as a journal for Bella that I would share with her when I finished it. It began as entries of what was currently happening to fix the date I was writing it, and then I began entries labeled Journal for the retelling of Bella's story from my perspective but trying to keep the focus on her. Somewhere along the line, someone found what I was writing and began posting it on a fan fiction site without my knowledge. I suspect it was one of my siblings and eventually they will let their guard down and I will discover who it was. Until then, I have decided to post this diary/journal on another site, but I'm making some revisions and changes to some of the chapters. I am also soliciting the assistance of a friend in the posting of these stories to keep from having them traced back to me personally. It seems whoever first pirated my story also utilized her user name to post the story – I have already apologized to her for the fact that they discovered her user name and password thereby making use of her account. She has assured me that she has since changed her password a number of times since the incident occurred. With that said, I am going to present you with Bella's real story about how we meet and what resulted from that meeting. I mean this to be Bella's story, so if anyone has any ideas about trying to interject their own story into this, then you better think twice about it and decide to post your story somewhere else. I wish to thank all of the readers who have taken time to read this prologue; I appreciate your time and I thank you now for any reviews that you may happen to leave.**

**Very sincerely, Edward (for the sake of not revealing my real last name) Cullen**

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**Chapter One – We Exist (2007)**

"Edward, are you reading that book again?" Bella had silently entered the room.

"Yes, Bella, I am," I replied as I laid my tattered copy of Twilight upon the coffee table.

"What are you up to now?" She sat down beside me and laid her head upon my shoulder.

"I quit counting at fifteen," I answered with a soft chuckle. Neither of us had to really count; we both knew I was on my twenty-fifth reading of the book.

"Why are you reading it so often?" Her hand caressed my cheek as she spoke.

"Come on Bella, it's our story. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder how she got so close to the truth in some places." I pulled away from her and looked deeply into her eyes. I was beginning to wonder if it was more than a coincidence that this story was so close to ours. "You know Bella, I was on her website, and she claims the idea for this story came from a dream. That's interesting isn't it?"

Bella gave me that 'what do you mean' look that was accompanied by a slight shrug of her shoulders. "That is interesting." It was what she was not saying that perked my interest.

"Bella, you didn't influence that dream, did you?"

"Edward, why would you think that?" I saw the shock of my statement register upon her angelic face and I knew it was genuine.

I felt guilty for suspecting her, but I knew how she felt and what she was capable of doing to humans, "I don't know, maybe because you've talked so much about wanting your story told, and the fact that you can 'influence' the dreams of others . . . well, it made me wonder."

Her look of shock turned to a look of offense; it too was an extremely authentic look, so maybe I was wrong.

"How could you even think that? I know I've said it, but I wouldn't do it; it would be wrong." She stared intensely at me, "You really think I had something to do with this, don't you?"

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her onto my lap. "I'm sorry Bella, it was just a thought; I should know better than to think you would ever do anything that risky."

Bella kissed me and added with a light bubbly laugh, "Besides, I would've given her a more accurate story; like the fact that you didn't have an amazingly strong ability to resist my blood, and that you did taste it that first day we met."

"Well, that was really your fault you know. It was your clumsiness that caused your blood to flow, and that siren blood of yours didn't help the situation; it called to me and I couldn't resist." To emphasize her attraction, I trailed kisses across her neck.

Bella gave a low growl as I kissed her neck, and in a sultry tone replied, "Yes, and there's something else she got wrong. You were never strong enough to resist because you came back for more. That first day you gave in, though, didn't turn out the way you had expected. I guess you picked the wrong person to play around with." As I finished kissing her, she wrapped her arms around my neck, leaned into my shoulder, and breathed in my ear as she softly whispered, "And you'll never regret that decision to cave in because I won't let you."

"You little tease. You know just how to tempt me." And she really did. It may have been her blood at first that drew me in, but I learned her blood was only the first temptation she presented for me.

As we grew closer, she quickly learned other ways to tempt me. She, for instance, would allow her breath to caress my ear, and then she would breathe on my neck and playfully bite my earlobe. She knew how that affected me, and she knew how to use it to her benefit whenever she wanted to get playful.

"I had better be the only one. I wouldn't like to think that there is some else out there who could tempt you like I do." She began to nuzzle my neck.

"Oh, please, like I would ever think to look at another woman. Besides, you're a handful already, what would I do with another woman?" I teased as I began to rub my hands up and down her back, especially along her spine, which seemed to be a sensitive area for her.

"Edward?" She murmured softly.

"Yes my love," I whispered back as I continued running my hands lightly up and down her spine.

"If you don't stop that, you'll have to pay the consequences," she replied softly as she leaned into me, moved her lips to my ear, and lightly bit my earlobe.

"I know, but you started it," I reminded her as I lifted her up while I rose off the sofa and started carrying her up to our room. How could anyone imagine I could have existed without my angel? I knew the moment I saw her that I had to have her; I just didn't realize at the time that it would be as my wife and it would have to be forever.

At first, I did lust only for her blood, and I did try to fight that temptation but I was not always successful. After a short time, I began to learn that I wanted much more from her than just her blood. The more I learned about her the more I realized I would never be satisfied until I had her with me forever. Unlike the books I had been reading, I truly was a selfish person, and I knew, once I discovered what Bella meant to me, that I could never let her go, and unlike the Edward in New Moon, I could never have left her like that, even if I thought it might be the best thing for her. No, as I said, I'm much more selfish than he ever was.

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Somewhere around dawn the next morning, as Bella and I lay relishing in each other's presence, she suddenly rolled toward me and asked, "Are you still reading those fan fiction stories on the internet?"

I smiled as she asked. I knew she had stopped after reading a version where she was suppose to have gone bad and I eventually ended up killing her. That story really upset her. Bella knew she could never be as heartless or cruel as that Bella had been, and I knew that Bella would allow harm to come to her before she would allow it to affect anyone else. It was after that story that she decided not to read anymore fan fiction stories.

I, on the other hand, was curiously drawn to some of the stories. "Yes, I still read them occasionally."

"How can you read them? Some of them are so sad, and some are so far out in left field that they are not even funny." She ran her index finger around my lips, and then let it slide over my check until she reached my ear and began to outline it with her soft touch.

"Bella, I choose carefully which ones I'll read, and they're not all bad. Some of them are very good." I loved her touch on my skin; it still sent small electrical charges and tingling sensations coursing through my body.

She moved closer to me, laid her head on my chest, and started tracing random patterns on my chest with her delicate slender finger. "Which ones do you like the best?"

I knew where this was leading because it wasn't the first time she had asked. She wanted me to tell her about the ones where she was being protected or changed by me, and she especially like the ones that were romantic. Since I was feeling a little mischievous, I decided to tell her about the ones that didn't fit her literary pattern.

"I like the one about Emmett's thoughts during New Moon when I was supposed to be rushing to Italy to 'off' myself, and then there's one about you being dragged underground by a werewolf." I chuckled as I remembered that one. Bella was actually interested in someone other than me in that story and I knew she would hate it because she refused to look at any other male but me.

I use to think Emmett growled a lot when other men ogled Rose, but Bella growled whenever anyone besides me ogled her, and she could growl just as fiercely as Emmett could. In fact, they once had a growling contest with Esme and Jasper as the judges; it was declared a tie but not because they didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The truth was they found both growls just as fierce and threatening.

Funny as it may sound, Bella would growl about men looking at her. She had this idea that men should only have eyes for the women they loved. Unlike Rose, who enjoyed when men looked at her with longing and lust, Bella was repelled by it. She was rather old fashioned in her concepts of love and romance, and the only lust – in her mind – that men should entertain is for their own wives. I always considered it a blessing that Bella gift did not include hearing people's thoughts. It could have caused some extremely unhealthy situations for those humans whose thoughts would not have fit into her ideas of acceptable behavior.

In response to the concept that she would ever choose anyone but me, Bella off-handedly commented, "Like that would ever happen. Look what happened to the last guy who thought he could charm me."

She was right; the last guy who tried to flirt with her ended up on the ground with a broken nose and some major bruises. Actually, he got off easy because if I had been around I would have done more than just elbow him in the nose when he tried to hug Bella.

"Well, in this story," I explained, "the werewolf was quite as amorous as that guy was. He was just trying to win your affection and attention, and he did physically carry you away from me."

"And what, you let him?" She asked causally as she continued drawing random patterns on my chest that slowly progressed southward.

"According to the author, it seems so. I guess I did look for you, but didn't know you were underground. It does have a happy ending, or at least where the last chapter stopped."

"Oh! And exactly why was it happy?" Her finger that was still drawing on my chest was becoming somewhat distracting as it migrated a little further south.

"It was happy because we got married, which means," I pulled her up so her face was by mine, "I can now do this without worrying about the consequences." I added before locking my lips passionately on hers and progressed to tracing the edges of her lips with my tongue before aggressively seeking passage into her mouth. Just before I released her, I heard a deep moan escape from the depths of her chest.

As I let her go, she asked, "Can you even imagine being the Edward in Twilight series who has to hold back and make sure he never kisses Bella like that."

"No I can't," I replied just before I flipped her on her back and held myself over her so I could kiss her with even more passion and self-indulgence. "That Edward has no idea what he is missing," I growled playfully, envisioning where my advances would finally lead.

Of course, I did have an inkling of what that fictitious Edward must have felt because while my Bella was human I too was unable to be with her like this. We couldn't kiss with open passion, touching her in certain ways was totally out of the question, and intimate relationships of any kind were strictly forbidden and not just because of the moral beliefs at that time.

Enforcing those restraints on myself were almost more torturous than refraining from drinking her blood. So, for a while, I was somewhat like that masochistic Edward of the Twilight universe.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't been my siren in more ways than one, but once I heard her call of love I was just as lost as any unwary sailor who followed the call of the ancient sirens. At least my body wasn't dashed against the rocks to be broken like those sailors who were lured to their death by the ancient temptresses. Instead, my ego was dashed and broken; I suddenly discovered I wasn't the self-sufficient need-nobody person that I thought I was. I also ascertained I was just as susceptible to love as the next man was, but I was lucky enough to learn this from someone who was willing to love me in return even though I was a freak of nature.

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The stories mentioned can be found at the following sites.

"War of the Ashes" at fanfiction(dot)net/s/2986400/1/War_of_the_Ashes .

"Emmett's Epiphany" at fanfiction(dot)net/s/3258899/1/Emmetts_Epiphany .

"Dusk 'Til Dawn" at fanfiction(dot)net/s/3090431/1/Dusk_Til_Dawn .

**_AN: This story occurs during two different periods in time. Chapter title are occurring in a more resent time and will have the year noted as to when the event is occurring and the Journal entries are part of Edward's entries in the journal that he keeps for the purpose of telling Bella's true story which began in 1957; they too will have a year stated as to when it happened. I hope this helps clarify things for every one as the story progresses. Currently, chapter one is events that are more recent, and chapter 2 is Edward's first entry in the journal. (Disclaimer: If Edward is not really writing this, then these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, but the plot would belong to me.)_**


	2. Chapter 2 Vampirism 101

**AN: When I first wrote this information in my 'Bella Journal,' it was mostly dry facts. Now that I know I'm having it submitted to a fan site, I want to try to make the information more interesting. I hope using my family as examples has helped and you don't become bored with all the information be shared, but I do want to set the record straight.**

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**Journal Entry One – Vampirism 101-A**

**Part 1: Bella**

Bella always thought it would be interesting to tell her story because of her involvement with my family, but she would never draw attention to herself like that because she truly is a quiet, self-reserved individual. She does not see herself as a remarkably unique individual (although the rest of the family sees her as just that), and she's not one to exhibit herself or her life in the public eye, which is why I have decided she didn't give the dream to the author. Therefore, I'm assuming the role of spokesperson in order to relate her story. Of course, I can only recount what I know, and although I never intended to publish this story, circumstances have altered my decision.

Mrs. Meyer correctly pointed out our major rule of anonymity. In truth, that one rule applies to all non-humans. It surprises me that humans always assume everything extra-ordinary is imaginary.

It was also the reason why I had originally kept Bella's story in this journal – for the privacy, but since someone has unofficially submitted it, it is no longer private, and I have decided to share it with the growing number of Twilight fans. Of course, in the process of writing it out for submission I am making some changes to my original copy. If 'others' read this story, I'm hoping they will realize that most humans will accept this as a work of fiction and therefore I will not really be breaking the anonymity rule because this might really just be a work of fiction.

I earnestly want everyone to discover Bella's unique personality and for anyone to understand her completely, I guess I have to describe the human side of her first. As a human, Bella was a bit clumsy; okay, so maybe that is a bit of an under exaggeration. In all truthfulness, some would have called her a jinx in a past era because bad luck seemed to follow her any where she went. That was her only weakness, because when it came to looks and personality, she surpassed everyone and still does.

Physically, I love her long brown hair. Running my hands through her rich silky-smooth tresses still thrills my sense of feel. She still mourns the fact that her hair is straight, but even now, I enjoy watching the wind blow through her hair for even the slightest breeze will lift it and cause it to flutter around her bright shining face. Her deep liquid pools of chocolate brown eyes made me feel as if I would fall into them and drown. That might seem far-fetched, but it was the truth. Her chocolaty brown eyes continue to have an intense magnetic pull on me that I never encountered with anyone else.

Her lips also became a major attraction after our first kiss. Hers were, and remain so, the type of lips that beg to be kissed – full, red, and sweet to the taste. Her last feature, which she always felt fell short of being appealing, was her body. It didn't bother me that she was only five foot two with a thin non-athletic build. I constantly remind her that I like her compact package – which flushed out and toned up during her change – but my comment still produces a groan from her. She always wanted to have a body more like Rose's – tall, lithe, and in her words, drop dead gorgeous. Personally, I never saw Rose as 'drop dead gorgeous' just attractive in her own way.

Over all, it is possible that I'm rather biased on her looks, but I've always found her a pleasure to gaze upon before and after her transformation. Besides, her looks were not what first captured my attention it was her scent. That was one characteristic described accurately by Mrs. Meyer in her book. Vampires are extremely sensitive to smell, and everyone's blood has a different aroma, just like wine. Some blood is sweeter than others are, and once in a very rare instance, someone's blood can have a scent that is irresistible to one vampire in particular. Some compare the call to the song of the ancient siren's who lured sailors to their deaths, but, in this case, the blood of the siren can lead to the siren's death because the aroma of the blood can cause a vampire to drink a fatal amount. That was how Bella's blood was to me; she was my siren, and in many ways she is still my siren but now it is not her blood that so alluringly calls to me.

**Part 2: Vampire Physiology**

I guess, in order to tell Bella's story correctly, I first need to clarify some points on actual vampires besides the beguilingly sweet temptation of some humans' blood. In order to make this a little more interesting, I have decided to use my family to portray the basic vampire physiology.

Emmett's hunting techniques best exemplify our senses of sight, sound, and smell. As mentioned in the Twilight trilogy, Emmett's favorite prey is bear for the same reason as presented by Mrs. Meyer. In case anyone is interested, his favorite breeds are grizzly, polar, black, and brown in that order. For Emmett, the fiercer the bear is the better; he likes the thrill of the hunt as much as the meal. As to how he hunts, this is where his senses come into play. First, he uses his sense of smell to determine the age of his target. He avoids those that are too young because they don't really have enough blood in them, and he avoids their mothers. He dislikes the idea of orphaning any animal because to him family is extremely important, and he carries this belief over into animal families as well. He also passes up the elderly and those on the verge of dying; their blood is too old to provide a tasty or nourishing meal. Mostly he seeks out those that are just under middle age and many times, he will go after the male rather than the females even though the females can be, in many instances, more ferocious.

Through the years, Emmett has perfected his scent to know exactly which bears will meet his requirements. Not only does scent help him identify the age of his prey but to some extent its distance from him as well. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and I have experimented with distances and so far Emmett's longest range of being able to smell his prey is ten miles if he is downwind of it and 20 if he is upwind. It is our sense of smell that also helps us distinguish what other animals might be in close proximity to our prey, and to locate any humans that might be in the surrounding area. This became extremely important to the family when hiking and backpacking became a major past time for many people.

While hunting, Emmett next relies on his hearing to determine if the bear is alone or with others of his kind, and if the bear is hunting or if it is at rest or play. The different sounds he hears help him determine the bear's current activities. Our hearing is extremely acute so we are able to distinguish sounds up to fifteen miles away. While she was human, Bella envied our ability to hear long distances especially when we would over-hear a whispered conversation, but once she became a vampire, she understand that there was a negative side to being able to hear conversations you weren't meant to hear. People, who you might have once thought of as your friends, would just as happily stab you in the back with their words when they thought you couldn't hear them. Bella lost numerous friends because of overhearing their insulting comments when they thought she couldn't hear them.

Our hearing also becomes extremely valuable during hunting season when we have to avoid the multitude of human hunters who share the woods with us. Human hunters have a nasty habit of shooting before they are sure of their target. I will not reveal how many times imprudent hunters have shot at my family and I over the years, but it shocked Bella the first time it happened to her, and then she became extremely upset. Because of her ability, I forcibly had to remove her from the area. Not only had she meant to track down the unwary hunters, but also she meant to give them a taste of the consequences of their own carelessness. As I may have mentioned before, Bella's greatest concern is for the welfare of others first, but most non-hunting humans have enough sense to avoid the forests and woods during hunting season.

Sight is the last sense Emmett relies on when hunting. When he is within five to seven miles from his prey, he can begin to distinguish it from its surroundings. The distance is extended if the animal is in an open area with little to no cover. Sight also allows us to detect any visible obstacles in the path between our intended prey and us.

With these three senses, Emmett is always able to select the exact bear, or bears, he wants to dine on, and he seldom misses his mark because of his vampire enhanced speed and strength. The few times he has failed were the result of either pranks played by Bella – did I mention that between Emmett and Jasper, my angel has been slightly tarnished – and Jasper, Jasper and Alice, Jasper and I, or all of us working in conjunction. Of course, we have learned not to pull any pranks when he is extremely thirsty because of the negative repercussions. Jasper and I imprudently did that only once, and we both carry the scars of his displeasure. We did make amends by tracking the bear down and restraining it until he could complete his hunt.

Our fourth magnified sense is touch. We feel everything that we touch or that touches us in the minutest detail; we even feel each distinct fiber of the fabric we wear so we have a propensity to purchase clothes that are more expensive and made of the most delicate types of material and of course, Alice relishes any opportunity to select the clothing for the family. Although there have been a few family feuds in that area. Rose is very particular about what she will wear and she prefers to choose Emmett's clothes as well. It is very seldom that Rose will accept Alice's choice of clothing. Bella, on the other hand, is happy to allow Alice to shop for her. In Bella's opinion, shopping should consist of marathon visits to the well-stocked bookstores in metropolitan areas and her favorite attire nowadays is soft plush sweats and a softly flowing t-shirt.

Even though our fifth sense – taste – is also magnified, I never considered it as important as the enhancement of our emotional and physical senses. What we feel is more intense than what any human would ever feel; this includes pain, anguish, and heartbreak as well as happiness, love, and pleasure. This intensity has a profound effect on our lives. It actually creates an intense desire in us to be around others of our own kind. The only vampires who live alone are the renegades while all the rest of us live as couples or families because the loneliness of not sharing our existence with someone else would drive us insane; a hundred years is a long time to be alone, and forever is unendurable. Before Bella's extraordinary emergence into my existence, I was content just to have my family, even though they each had their soul mates. When Bella invaded my family, I began to realize what I had been missing from my life for all those years, and after that discovery, I would never have been able to return to my prior solitary existence.

We also have enhanced speed and strength. The best way to exemplify our strength is to share an incident between Rose and Emmett. When Rose first began working on cars, they were constructed mostly from steel making them heavier than cars today. Although money is of little concern for my family, Rose doesn't believe in purchasing unnecessary tools and two such items are a jack and a lift. Instead, whenever she needed to get under a car to work on it, she had Emmett lift the car for her. Usually he would bring a magazine to read while he was holding up one end of the car.

One day Jasper and I were walking by the garage and we saw Emmett standing absentmindedly holding one end of a jaguar I owned at the time. There were three other vehicles parked in the garage, Emmett's truck, Alice's corvette, and Carlisle's Bentley. Jasper and I decided it would be fun to bet Emmett that he couldn't lie between the Bentley and his truck and lift both of them off the ground at the same time. We figured using only his arms it would be impossible. Upon hearing our bet, Emmett just laughed, and at the same time, I saw Rose's eyes sparkle with a suppressed laugh and instantly knew we were going to lose the bet. I heard Emmett's silent comment first, 'This'll be like taking candy from a baby,' and then saw Rose's image of Emmett two weeks earlier holding both of the said vehicles off the ground while she changed the oil. I just looked at Jasper and said, "We'll be paying out." Jasper still requested visual proof, so Rose moved the two vehicles side by side, Emmett laid down between them and promptly lifted them both off the ground, and just to prove he could do, he held them there for twenty minutes while Jasper and I counted out our money and Rose slowly recounted it twenty times. Emmett claimed he didn't trust us not to miscount or use some of the funny money we had been trying to make.

Now, don't get me wrong; Jasper and I did take up counterfeiting but only as a hobby. Carlisle and Esme have very strict rules of what constituted acceptable counterfeited items, but money was never one of them. Of course, it was okay if we only used it amongst ourselves when paying our betting debts; the problem was, the winner always wanted real money, so, in the end, Jasper and I gave up the hobby and worked on counterfeiting items that were more necessary to the family.

Emmett's feat with the cars should help everyone understand how strong we are, and I'm not even sure that is the limit of Emmett's strength, we just never tested it any further. For speed, I have everyone in the family beat. We always knew we could move at speeds unseen by the human eye, but the question always existed of how fast we really could run. We tested this in many ways, but when cars were designed for speed, we began testing our speed against them. To date, I haven't found a car I couldn't out run. Then, when movie cameras became available to the public, Emmett decided he had to discover if we could be captured on film while we ran. We found the old 8mm cameras didn't record movement fast enough to capture either Jasper or I on the actual film. It wasn't until digital cameras were developed that we could actually be captured on film, but when watching the film frame by frame all one sees is a non-distinct shadow, which most people dismiss as a smudge or flaw on the two or three frames on which it appears.

For those who might be interested, Emmett does the filming because, over the years, he has used the various movie cameras for private films of Rose; those films are strictly for his viewing pleasure only. Besides, nobody else in the family is interested in watching them accept Rose.

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**Submitters Note: Just for the record, I still accredit Stephenie Meyer with the ownership of the Cullen family and Bella.**

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	3. Chapter 3 Vampirism 101B

**AN: I hope dividing this in half made it less tedious and lengthy, so here is part two. Let me know what you think. Oh, and we still credit Mrs. Meyer with our creation.  
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**Journal Entry One – Vampirism 101-B**

**Part 3 – Vampire Physique**

As Bella once claimed, our bodies are nearly perfect making us extremely alluring to the human eye. Our skin is flawless except for the occasional scars from vampire bites. In fact, that is the only way our bodies will scar because vampire venom is not only poisonous to living beings but to other vampires as well; the major difference is the venom will cause a human to change but will cause scars on vampires. Our skin is pale almost pearly white, cold, hard and impenetrable; it is, however, not as hard to the touch as granite. There is actually some suppleness to our skin. Bella, for instance, once remarked how smooth and soft my skin felt. She compared it to a baby's bottom, but I found the comparison less than flattering because most of the babies I have been near smelt dreadful. The one characteristic that we do not possess is skin that sparkles, although I wish this characteristic were true because I would love to see Bella's skin sparkle.

Besides being flawless, our bodies are extremely hard, but I personally attribute the hardness to a muscular hardness much like that of body builders, and I would attribute the impenetrability aspect to the muscles except that would not explain why our skin cannot be penetrated by any fabricated tool. Even if someone could penetrate our skin, our bodies have a natural built in healing ability that allows our bodies to instantly heal all wounds – with the exception of vampire bites that take longer to heal – even those injuries that might otherwise appear fatal.

In addition, our hair and nails are also unnaturally strong, and we cannot cut them nor do they grow – Bella once remarked that she would have to refrain from biting her nails after her transformation since she would only do it once and then her nails would not grow back. Not only are our teeth and fingernails strong, but also extremely sharp, they can easily cut or pierce a human's skin so we must be careful when interacting with them. And no, we do not have fangs. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have something growing out in my mouth and then retracting. I find that a disgusting thought; leave it to a human to think of something that revolts even a vampire.

The one major physical difference between the Twilight vampires and us is our eye color. We all retain our human eye color, but the color darkens as we become hungrier and lightens after we have quenched our thirst. Vampires who drink only human blood have dark red almost maroon rings around the outside of the iris, but those who exclusively drink animal blood have a golden ring. Many vampires, however, drink from both humans and animals resulting in a pink colored ring around their iris. These color changes are how Carlisle is able to tell if one of us slips, and I slipped a little too often during that first year.

I also need to add that we don't breathe, sleep, or have a heartbeat – since we are technically dead. We are unable to reproduce for the same reason. I couldn't help but laugh at all the stories out there that have Bella and I having a child, or any vampire having a child – the possibility 'does not' exist.

**Part 4 – Nourishment and Venom**

As is true in all vampire lore, we have only one source of nutrition and that is blood. At one time it was believed that we could only live on human blood and in ancient times no vampire even attempted to change that belief, but then some inquisitive vampire wondered why the blood of animals wouldn't meet the needs we had. No one ever bothered to find out who was the first to attempt drinking animal blood, but it soon became a widely known fact among our kind that animal blood could also quench our thirst. Of course, it was also discovered that animal blood wasn't as sweet, tasty, or satisfying as human blood, but that it would work as a substitute if one had no other nearby human source. This realization began the practice of supplementing human blood with animal blood. Over the centuries, many of us began the practice of drinking only animal blood, and Carlisle was one who adapted this practice right after being changed. Today, many of us feed mostly, and some of us only, on animal blood because, as Carlisle says, drinking human blood is as cannibalistic as eating human flesh.

I should point out that most vampires very seldom kill their human food source despite what most fiction writers claim. Most of us are still more human than animal, so we can control our desires, just as humans can when eating. In our world, only renegades drink from their host until they die; they also seem to take pleasure in the kill, not unlike humans who kill for the pleasure of killing. We also try to avoid the words victim or prey because of the negative connotation that it denotes to them and us.

When extracting blood from our human donor we have to be careful of the venom in our mouths because it is poisonous to humans and it affects their blood in one of two ways if it enters their system. It will either kill them or change them. Generally, when drinking from a human, we suck our venom out with the blood; therefore, if we are careful, we can drink from humans without killing or changing them. In addition, if we use our nails to make a small cut near an artery rather than our teeth, then we can avoid injecting any venom into our human donor, and we leave less of a mark that might alert some to the fact that a vampire has dined upon them. As vampires, we have one other advantage over humans; we can use our power of persuasion to cause them to forget the incident.

The one major advantage of drinking from animals is the safety factor. Animals, unlike humans, cannot undergo a transformation. First, most animals are small enough that they are completely drained of their blood, and depending on one's thirst, larger animals can be shared with another vampire. Emmett refers to it as dining out with his wife.

Secondly, something in an animal's physiology causes the venom to kill it rather than transform it. Carlisle has tried to talk Jasper into majoring in biochemistry and performing experiments on animals to discover why this is, but Jasper has no inclination in that area. When Bella ascertained that Carlisle had an interest in uncovering the reason why animals did not undergo any transformation, she pointed out to him that such experiments would be inhumane, and that it was bad enough that humans saw vampires as monsters anyway, so humans didn't need any inhumane actions from us to help reinforce that stereotype. Of course, it didn't matter to Bella if humans knew we were actually performing experiments or not, to her it was just the idea that someone might uncover the fact that bothered her.

Another physiological feature of vampires is the fluid that flows through our bodies and veins. Our venom is the only fluid, besides the fresh blood we drink, that flows through our bodies. Interestingly enough, as the freshly drunk blood circulates though our systems, it slowly changes into venom just like the natural body fluids we once had as humans also transformed into venom as our bodies changed.

One unique aspect of the vampire-human relationship involves the mutual co-existence of our two species. In this relationship, a vampire will select one human, by mutual agreement of course, that he or sometimes she will keep around as a food source until the human dies, but many of us choose not to subject a human to that form of life.

**Part 5 - Changing**

Many of you may be wondering how one becomes a vampire. That was one of Bella's questions. It is just as painful as Mrs. Meyer describes, and there are risks involved but it doesn't take as long.

First, we have discovered over time that the process is easier when more than one vampire is present. The process begins by biting the human near the heart, and then in three or four other strategic places near or in major arteries so as to inject the venom directly into the blood stream. This helps accelerate the process. As the venom circulates through the human's body, it mingles with their blood and releases a chemical as it passes throughout the body. The chemical then causes the organs in the body to shut down slowly while also changing the cells throughout the body so that even though the organs are dying, the human is not going to die a natural death. For some unknown reason, the heart is actually the last organ to die. In addition to killing the internal organs, the chemical produced through the mixture of human blood and venom slowly changes the human into a vampire. Eventually, the new vampire's mixed blood transforms into his own form of venom. Carlisle believes we each add something different to our venom and as a result, the scent produced by it is different for each of us. When I first considered changing Bella, I wondered if her venom would have a scent similar to that of her blood.

When deciding whether to change Bella, I also considered all the risks and thought about each one with her as the victim, so I will use her as my example in this explanation. The first risk would occur after I bit her. When biting her, I had to know I could totally control the desire to drink her blood or else I would suck too much venom out of her blood system. The more venom in the blood system, the quicker the transformation and the less venom the longer it takes. Too little venom would cause Bella to die rather than change because the venom would have been too weak to affect a quick change. Carlisle says this problem has occurred in the past and the human suffered an agonizingly slow death. This first risk is one reason why any wise vampire would have another vampire present to watch and make sure the biter stops in time. I made sure both Carlisle and Emmett were readily available in case I lost control. I was not taking any risks with the most precious gift entrusted to me – my true love.

As Bella's body started changing, I knew the pain would be inescapable because she would remain conscious and aware of everything occurring around her including the changes taking place in her body. Unfortunately, the first vampire characteristic that all human experience is heightened senses; therefore, the pain becomes even more acute, and taking morphine or any other strong painkiller does not alleviate the pain. Moreover, I knew Bella would suffer as each organ in her body ceased to function and then died. I knew the entire process could be accomplished within the space of twelve to twenty-four hours and that its length would depend on how much venom I injected into her blood system.

The second risk Bella would face was the actual change. If her heart wasn't strong enough, the change could actually kill her before it was completed. A person's heart must be strong enough to withstand the pain and stress of the change and it becomes the last functioning organ in the body. In addition, the pain could become more intense than Bella might have been able to handle mentally; if that had happened, it could have affected her mind. For some humans, the torturous change results in adversely altered brain functions that lead to mental instability, but I trusted the Bella mind was stronger than that, especially since her mind was strong enough to keep me out of it.

The other way the process could have affect Bella's mind would have been if I had not injected enough venom to cause a quick change. As I mentioned before, too little venom in the blood system causes a much more painfully prolonged change. Between the extreme pain and extended time, the human's mind can deteriorate also resulting in mental instability or a twisted form of mental retardation.

One of the major questions arising from changing any human is how much pain the human mind endure before it is finally broken. When a person becomes mentally broken or unstable, then the best course of action is to drain the blood of the human and allow that person to die. If the person does change, it is more than likely that the person will become a renegade and a menace to vampires and humans alike because a renegade's basic instinct becomes survival at any cost and his or her only real pleasure comes from the kill. I had Carlisle help me take every known precaution so this wouldn't happen to Bella while she was changing.

Changing any human is not an easy decision to make because you are risking the actual death of the one you are attempting to change. I had to ponder long and hard about whether I was ready to accept the consequences if the procedure failed because, in our case, the risk was exorbitant because I was attempting to change the love of my life, and unlike those of us who Carlisle changed, she wouldn't be dying from some other cause.

The hardest part for me was deciding if I had it in me to end her suffering and eternal misery if the change caused any mental instability during the transformation. I would have to make this decision before completion of the process because once Bella had changed it would have been much harder to kill her, and not only because I loved her. Killing a vampire is not as easy as just tearing them apart and burning them, although burning does become part of the final process.

Because our healing process is almost instantaneous, it is not just a matter of tearing a vampire apart but burning the pieces as soon as they are torn from the victim, and the fire has to have a fuel source like lighter fluid or gasoline because a vampire can heal even from fire if the fire is not hot enough to incinerate the pieces quickly. A raging fire inside a burning building might suffice as long as the heat is intense enough and the heat inside of a crematorium incinerator is definitely hot enough to complete the destructive process (please don't ask how I know this). What everyone has to realize is that killing cannot just suddenly occur; it must be preplanned so the necessary items are available at the time of the destruction. Injecting large quantities of venom into the intended victim also helps because another vampire's venom helps slow the healing process; this is one reason why it is better to tear the other vampire apart with your teeth instead of your hands.

But, this is Bella's story, so now it is time to focus on her and the first time we met.


	4. Chapter 4 Meeting

**AN - We are giving credit to Stephenie Meyer so we don't get into trouble.**

**I hope you are able to enjoy this chapter. I answer questions when possible and I do reply to reviews. We greatly appreciate your encouraging reviews.**

**Journal Entry Two – Meeting [1957]**

As I record Bella' story some of what I include will be Bella's reactions and feelings as she later shared them with me.

There are a number of significant differences that occurred between our real encounter and the Twilight encounter. To begin with, my family did not live in Forks nor did Bella and I meet in the twenty-first century. For the most part, my family avoided smaller towns because it was not as easy to blend in. When I first met Bella we were living in Washington, but we lived outside of Tacoma and went to school in a suburb of the city. We did prefer, however, houses surrounded by woods and having some acreage to the property for the most obvious reason – hunting grounds.

This time around, I was pretending to be sixteen, and I was a sophomore in high school; Bella was a freshman at the time. As in the books, I have two sisters and two brothers, and even the names are mostly the same, except Rose. Her human name had been Rosalind, but she hated it. After she was changed, she made us change her name to Rose, and Mrs. Meyer, on one of the websites, said Emmett generally called her Rose when in fact we all did as per her preference. The rest of our names – except for our last names – she had correct in the book, which is why I first suspected Bella of having something to do with influencing the writer.

Anyway, Bella transferred to the school I was attending just before the Christmas of 1957, and it's true I did first see her in the school cafeteria at lunch. Unlike the book, my family and I did not always sit alone. We did have casual friends among the humans but they didn't know who or what we really were. We blend in well with humans and blending in helps make us less conspicuous. Not that that helped with Bella – no, Bella spotted us the moment she walked into the cafeteria, or I should say she spotted me. I'm not sure why she felt magnetically drawn to me, but she said I was the first person she saw when she walked through the cafeteria doors, and was unable to focus on anyone or anything else. On that first day, she had made friends with a girl who had chased after me when my family first moved into the area and started attending school, but I had always cold-shouldered her. Her name was actually Susie not Jessica.

Another fact that was accurately portrayed in the book concerns my gift of hearing people's thoughts, but in a few rare cases, I can project my thoughts into the minds of others. My sister Alice and my mom Esme are the only two minds into which I can project my thoughts. Of the eighty odd years I have been a vampire, those are the only two people I have ever found that I can easily transfer my thoughts to, and for the most part, I haven't been interested in sharing my thoughts with anyone else except my father Carlisle and then Bella after our relationship changed.

Bella's arrival had not been a surprise because I had heard about her in the minds of most of the students I encountered. Some of the thoughts about her were pleasant and others were not. As in the book, it was inevitable that at least one of the teenage boys would be attracted to her. In Bella's case, four boys had decided she would make the perfect girlfriend for them.

What was surprising about Bella as she walked into the lunchroom was the fact that I could not hear her thoughts. At first, I thought I was mistaken and I just couldn't recognize her voice, but after hearing her talk to Susie, I realized her voice was not among the throng of voices that filled the cafeteria. Before Bella, I had never met anyone whose thoughts I couldn't hear. It has remained so even to this day.

Another interesting similarity was that Bella did share one class with me, but it wasn't Biology; no, funny as it may seem, the class we shared was gym, and we didn't technically share the class since we were in different grades. Generally, the two classes were separate, but during the coldest winter months, the two gym teachers would find co-ed activities we could both partake of in the gym. I couldn't help but laugh at her that first day as we were having a co-ed class in the shared gymnasium because Bella really was rather uncoordinated and that's stating it mildly. Our classes had started square dancing the day before Bella arrived. My group had been short one female, so the girl's P.E. teacher had joined our group. On that day, Bella took her place and it was the first time I had close contact with Bella. I discovered two things instantly; one, she had trouble walking without stumbling, and two, the scent of her blood drove my thirst wild.

Fortunately, for me, gym was the last class of the day, and as we made contact during the dance, I knew I would be asking if I could give Bella a ride home. From that first moment that I touched her, I felt electrical surges pulsate through my body, and the scent of her blood was so heavenly that it made my mouth water (or maybe, in my case, you could say it made my mouth generate more venom). I endured her torturous temptation for 55 minutes, and it was the longest 55 minutes of class I ever had to endure. It was bad enough that we had to touch hands, but every 15 minutes Bella would stumble and I unconsciously would reach out to support her so she didn't fall. The contact with her soft warm body only heightened my awareness of her, and intensified my thirst for her blood.

Everyone in the family knew how Carlisle felt about us partaking of human blood, and for the most part, I agreed with him, but there were those times when the younger of us slipped and reverted to the 'old ways,' as we called them. After my extended contact with Bella, I knew this would be my slip, my first in thirty years. My last one had been during a rebellious period – once again, something Mrs. Meyer mentioned in Twilight – when I drank more human blood than animal, but, unlike the fictional Edward, I never caused anyone's death. That would be a heavy weight to bear on a person's conscience knowing they were the cause of another's demise, I mean other than changing them of course. It's no wonder that 'her' Edward felt like a monster.

As soon as the bell rang ending class, I positioned myself so I was walking beside Bella toward the locker rooms. Very quietly but with determination, I asked her, "Would you like a ride home today?" I learned, from the thoughts of others, that she rode the school bus home.

Bella stopped mid stride, turned toward me, and smiled shyly. "That would be nice."

I noticed that she had a very nice smile and very full red lips. I couldn't help but wonder if the redness of her lips was a result of the rich aroma of her blood. The closer I stood to her, the more alluring her blood's scent was to me.

I later discovered that part of her shyness around me was a result of the fact that she felt breathless whenever I was near her. During that first encounter, she felt sure I could hear her heart beat because, she claimed, it doubled its normal rate. She was right, I had, but I really hadn't paid any attention to it because my full attention was on the magnetism of her blood.

For me, it had been easier than I had expected. Casually, I said, "I'll meet you outside the locker room after you change," then I headed off to the boy's locker room with a broad smile of anticipation on my face.

While I changed, my senses tingled with anticipation. I could already taste her blood, and the thought of its rich sweet flavor only thrilled me more. I changed with vampire quickness and then positioned myself outside the girl's locker room impatiently waiting for Bella.

As I waited, Alice rushed over to me warning, "Edward, stop thinking like that. I know what you're planning, but it won't turn out the way you expect if you go through with this."

"What do you mean?" Usually her warnings were more concise; besides, I wasn't willing to give up the anticipated taste of Bella's blood.

"I'm not sure. I just know that this girl is different, but I can't see in what way. All I know is that things will not turn out the way you expect, and I can't tell if that is a bad or good thing." Alice tilted her head slightly as if trying to see around a corner then shook her head. "No, I can't tell you any more than that because something is blocking me. Edward, just change your plans, okay? Besides, what would Carlisle say if he knew what you were thinking?" I could tell she really was concerned, but she hadn't outright said not to sample Bella's blood. Of course, since that was my intension, it was easy enough to presume that was what she meant, but I focused solely on my goal and decided since Alice hadn't specifically mentions Bella's blood, then I would proceed with plans and achieve my ultimate goal of sampling Bella's alluring blood. Besides, I thought, what harm could a small sample cause?

"I'll be careful Alice, and I'll tell you everything after I get home." I had placed my hand reassuringly on her shoulder and just before she walked off, she kissed me lightly on the check.

Bella saw Alice kiss me before she left, and I noticed a guarded look in Bella's eyes. Bella's heartbeat nearly stopped at that moment. She had already decided she liked me, and my offer of a ride had given her hope that I might like her, but Alice's kiss lead her to suspect I was toying with her maybe as a cruel joke.

"You're girlfriend?" She asked hesitantly with downcast eyes.

"No, she's one of my sisters. Believe me, if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't be offering you a ride home. Currently, I am happily unattached."

I thought it best to let her know there was no girlfriend waiting in the wings to make a scene. Besides, I had never meet any girl who I felt drawn to in that way, so although I had friends that were girls, I had never had any girlfriends much to the regret of the many who wished otherwise.

"She is beautiful," Bella commented.

I simply replied, "I guess so." I never really thought of either of my sisters as beautiful, so it seemed unusual to me that Bella would notice. A few years later she admitted she had been jealous of Alice at first because of how beautiful and graceful she was, and even more so for the few minutes that she thought Alice might have been my girlfriend.

Since I had not been concerned with Alice's looks, and I had assured Bella I didn't have a girlfriend, I asked, "Are you ready?" as I offered her my arm.

"I guess," a slight smile appeared on her full lips as she replied and took my pro-offered arm, but her actions were still hesitant as if she were unsure of how to react to my offer.

After helping Bella into my car, I slid into the driver's seat and asked, "Have you seen much of Tacoma since you arrived?"

"No," she shyly glanced over toward me. "Mom and Dad haven't had time to show me any of the sights."

I flashed my best smile at her and looked deeply into her eyes hoping to help her relax. "Would you mind if I showed you some of the local places of interest?" Being new to the area, I thought she might be interested in knowing where the high school students usually gathered, and then I planned to take her to the park where there was a convenient wooded path, which would allow us to be alone. I had not relinquished the idea of sampling her blood, but Alice's warning made me more cautious about the location to take my sample.

"I guess that would be okay." Her eyes glazed over slightly, but that was a normal reaction when we stared intently at our intended victims, if you wanted to call them victims. In this case, I was looking at her as a donor although she was an unknowing and unwilling one.

I pointed out each notable place as I drove past the more popular stores, fast food places, and movie theaters before driving to the park. I mentioned some the of the usual gathering times, like right after school during the week, except Friday, and then the Saturday night rally times depending on what group you were with at the time. I mentioned that students generally reserved Friday nights for the football games in the fall and basketball games during the early spring.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I said, "And sometimes groups get together to have picnics in this park. There are a number of nature trails for those who like that sort of thing and other sites for those who don't like to walk through the woods. Would you like to look around?" I smiled pleasantly at her and once again looked deeply into her eyes. This time I noticed that her eyes were extremely deep, like looking into two inviting pools. I felt drawn into her stare, and wondered if this was how humans felt when I stared intently into their eyes. Did they feel like they were falling? Was it as pleasant a feeling as I felt myself as I fell into Bella's eyes? Was this what was meant when they said someone was mesmerized by the look of another? If it hadn't been for someone slamming a car door nearby, I don't know how long I would have sat enthralled as I gazed at her, but the noise finally broke our contact. Until then, we had our eyes locked on each other and neither of us had attempted to break away.

After the contact was broken, I heard Bella take a deep breath before she replied, "That would be nice." Her voice, I noticed, had an ethereal quality to it, as if she were on some other plane of existence than the rest of the human world. That fact never registered as odd, but if I had taken the time to think about it, rather than her blood, I might have had time to contemplate all of her differences from other normal humans.

I quickly got out of the car and rushed over to her side so I could open the door for her. I reached out my hand to help her out of the car, and as she placed her hand in mine, I felt those surges once again rippling through my cold body. I had never experienced sensations like that when touching any other human; I began to wonder if Alice was correct in her warning about this experience not turning out as I had expected. I only wanted to lure Bella into the woods and sample some of her blood, and then I planned to take her home after conveniently altering her memory of our time together and that, in my mind, would be the end of our contact with each other.

The ability to alter a human's memory about his or her vampire encounter was an effective trait that all vampires seemed to share. It generally occurred while we were drinking their blood; Carlisle believed it had something to do with our physical nearness to them, and somehow that gave us a passageway to their minds so we could slightly alter the memory of what had occurred thereby keeping our existence hidden from humans. It also helped that we could slightly mesmerize our so-called victims with intense eye contact.

I honestly believed that I would have the same overpowering affect on Bella, but Bella had been unique even from the beginning. As we walked through the woods on a deserted path, I weighed the consequences of my actions. If I only tasted her blood, I told myself, I would be satisfied. Then Alice's warning whispered through those thoughts calling for restraint and caution. Finally, I saw the disappointed look I knew would be on Carlisle's face when he learned what I had done. With all the new sensations I was experiencing, Alice's warning, and a building internal sense of uneasiness, I began to wonder if my simple plan to sample Bella's blood was going to end up being more complicated than I could ever imagine.

In the end, I didn't cause Bella's blood to flow.

Just as we were about to immerge from the woods into the open parking lot, Bella reached out toward a broken branch, but she missed seeing the sharp point on the end of it. As a result, she suffered a nasty cut on her hand. The aroma of her blood as it flowed out overpowered me, so I carefully lifted her hand and licked the blood as it ran down her hand being careful not to allow my mouth to have contact with her open wound. I had no desire, at that time, to infect her with my venom.

I instantly noticed two things as I tasted the sweet nourishing fluid, the shock on Bella's face because of my actions and a wrinkling of her nose as if she smelt something awful; then she passed out. I caught her before she could hit the ground, and I instantly blamed myself for what had happened. I gently carried her to the car and laid her on the back seat. Smiling slightly, I remembered the handkerchief Esme insisted each of us 'boys' carry in our pocket every time we left the house; she always said we could never tell when it might be needed. Well, I finally had a use for it, so I took it out and wrapped it around Bella's hand but only after I had carefully licked every last drop of divinely scrumptious blood that had spilled from her hand and run down her soft, warm arm. I had known her blood smelt delicious, but I had never expected it to taste so intoxicatingly sweet. In all my years as a vampire, I had never tasted anything else like it nor could I compare it to anything else I ever remembered tasting. I kept reminding myself that I could not let anything happen to her because there were numerous people who saw us leave school together.

After I finished wrapping her hand, I noticed her eyes slowly opening. For the second time, I looked into her eyes and fell into those limpid pools of brown. As I continued to stare into them, I could see a myriad of questions beginning to rise to the surface. Many of those questions I knew I could not answer truthfully.

Her first words shocked me because I wasn't expecting them. "You licked my blood." It wasn't a question but a statement of fact, and her next comment was also unexpected. "What are you? Some type of vampire or just a plain kook?"

I didn't want to scare her off and both choices she offered could do just that, so I instinctively looked straight into her eyes trying to make her remember my version of what happened. I counted on having the ability to alter her perception of the events by staring deeply and intently into her beautiful brown eyes. Even then, when all I honestly believed I was interested in was her blood, I still noted every nuance of her physical features. As I stared into her eyes, I noticed minute silver speckles that caused her eyes to sparkle.

"Bella, you cut your hand and fainted."

"I did cut my hand, but then you licked the blood as it ran down my hand," she was staring back at me just as intently as I was staring at her.

"Yes, you cut your hand, then you fainted and after carrying you to the car, I wiped away the blood and wrapped your hand. See," I said pointing to her strangely bandaged hand.

"I don't deny I passed out, or that you bandaged my hand, but I do know you licked my blood first. Only kooks and vampires drink blood, but you don't look like someone who's slightly crazy, so that only leaves . . ." her eyes opened wider as she stopped speaking. She kept her eyes locked on mine never once shifting her deep intense gaze.

I looked deeply into her eyes willing her to believe what I was saying but I felt like I was running into a brick wall. I knew I couldn't read her mind, but it had never occurred to me that I would be unable to alter her memory. "No Bella." I felt like I was slipping deeper into her gaze, and I felt as if she were invading my mind. It had always been easy for me to invade the thoughts and minds of others, but now I knew how others must have felt when I intruded into their minds because I felt like she was invading mine.

Her next words were even more startling because they were so matter of fact. "You are a vampire. Do you plan to drink all of my blood?" At which she tilted her head exposing her pale slender neck offering herself to me.

As tempting as her offer was at that moment, I was so taken back that I chuckled. I visualized Emmett rolling on the ground laughing if he discovered what had just happened, but to Bella I replied, "No, I'll take you home now." I was flustered and felt unsure of how to handle the fact that she knew what I was, nor did I know what to do since I had been unable to wipe away her memory of me taking her blood.

I did learn later that she had definitely been offering herself to me. Bella told me that she had decided she might as well learn right then whether I was intent on harming her or not.

"No, you're not a vampire, or no, you won't drink all of my blood?" Her gaze held me in my place; now she was mesmerizing me.

For the first time, I felt trapped; I felt like the victim who wasn't able to stop what was happening. My only reply was a weak, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Edward," she replied quietly. Her use of my name sent more ripples of pleasure coursing through my body. "I know what you just did, and unless you're some kind of kook, which I don't believe, then you're a vampire." I watched as her blush deepened and for the first time I noticed her full red lips were extremely tempting.

She must have seen the shock I felt reflected in my eyes – shock caused not only by her statement but by the brief temptation I felt as I stared at her lips – because she meant to reassure me with her next comment. "I promise Edward, I won't say anything to anyone."

Once again, I felt as if she had invaded my mind because she answered the question that had just formed in mine about her telling someone about her recent experience with me.

All I could manage to say was, "I'm sure you won't," but I wasn't sure if I believed it. I took her straight home from there and didn't say another word to her during the ride. I was relieved when I realized she wasn't going to try to start a conversation with me.

The fear she saw my eyes when I realized I couldn't alter her memories puzzled her. During the drive to her house, she reflected on what happened and realized that to her it didn't matter. What happened didn't change her feelings for me one bit. All that mattered to Bella was the feeling she had when my tongue touched her skin, the little surges of pleasure she felt whenever we made contact, how she felt when I stared into her eyes, and how the sincerity of my smile made her feel warm inside. She kept all these thoughts to herself and didn't share them with me for the next year.

As I helped her out of the car at her house, she gave me a wistful hopeful look, as if I would finally say something, but I only managed a quick "Good bye," and hurriedly entered my car and drove home.

It was no surprise to hear Alice's voice before I saw her. 'I can't believe you did that!'

I shot back, 'I didn't allow it; it just happened.' I thought she meant about Bella remembering what happened.

'Don't lie to me Edward! You meant to drink from her. How could you? What will Carlisle say? Do you realize how serious this could become?'

'Stop Alice, you don't need to yell.' I had learned a long time ago that a person could project their thoughts so they sounded like they were yelling. Shortly after I first met Alice, I also discovered that she was extremely good at making her thoughts sound like shouts. 'I thought you said you knew what I was going to do. Why didn't you warn me she was going to injure herself?'

'I didn't see that. I just saw what you were planning to do, and I thought that warning you would stop you.'

'Well you saw wrong, and how was I to know she would remember, and that I would have no affect on her mind?'

'She knows? Carlisle is going to be upset about that too.'

'I know Carlisle will be upset, but I couldn't resist her blood once it started to flow. You can't even begin to imagine how alluring the smell was or how delectable it tasted. I had no idea anything thing could taste that sweet and delicious. It was absolutely life giving. No one ever told me blood could taste like that.' I had pulled up to the house and exited my car. We continued our silent argument as we entered the house.

'But Edward, she knows. Now she'll tell. We have to let everyone know and we'll have to move as quickly as possible.' Her sadness about moving filled her lovely light hazel eyes.

'She promised she would tell about what happened.'

'And you believed her? Why for heaven's sake?'

'I could see the truth in her eyes.' As we walked in the front door, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose greeted us. None of them looked too pleased. 'You didn't tell them about this, did you?'

I looked at her questioningly. If they knew this could get messy. None of them would be happy to know a human knew our secret. Besides, it just wasn't acceptable.

That night the first major argument with my family erupted over Bella. The argument became a recurrent family event for the next two months because try as I might, I couldn't stay away from Bella's blood.

My first taste of her blood only drew me back for more until I began to lust after her blood. At that time, I didn't know about drug addictions, so I saw myself more as an alcoholic lured back by the temptations of the alcohol. I would tell myself if I took one more taste that would be all I needed, but I honestly knew I wouldn't be able to stop. Her blood just continued to call to me, but then I would remind myself that she was only 15 years old and too young to become a reliable source of fresh blood. It seemed that the younger a human was, the more susceptible they were to ill health especially with repeated blood loss; the same applied to the elderly. The best ages for us to use as a more stable human blood source were from 20 to 45. It was unfortunate however that during that first year, her blood continually called to me, but I did try to keep as much distance between us as possible. I might not have been able to stay away totally from her blood, but I definitely was able to shun her during most of the day.

After that first time in the park, I was able to resist her blood for a little over a month, but then we had another gym class that threw us together. Her proximity breached my resistance but this time I decided to sneak into her room while she was sleeping. I thought it would be safer and she wouldn't remember my visit. I was careful to leave no visible mark on her. I found a place on the back of her neck near her hairline and I used my fingernail to make a small cut. I avoided putting my mouth directly on the cut, and I only licked what blood ran from it. It wasn't much, but its sweet refreshing taste was like cool drops of water to a dying man in the desert.

What I hadn't realized was that my entry into Bella's room had aroused her. In fact, she said it was my scent that woke her up, but she stayed perfectly still even as I made the small cut on the back of her neck. I should have realized she was awake, but never having heard the sound of her breathing while she was asleep, I didn't recognize the small indications that I discovered later that informed me she was awake. It was too bad I never visited her while she was truly asleep, because then I would have learned much earlier how she really felt about me.

During the next month, even though I had maintained my distance, Bella's trust in me grew. I'm not sure why this happened, but she said as she watched me, she learned I could be trusted. Maybe it didn't hurt that while in gym together, I had appointed myself her bodyguard and protector so she didn't hurt herself or anyone else even though I seldom spoke to her during that time.

If I could say one thing about Bella that was an absolute truth, it was that she couldn't avoid accidents or mishaps. She was a danger to herself and others in every gym class that we shared, and for some reason, I had devoted myself to the task of protecting her and everyone she met; a task that kept me busy during our shared gym classes. Consequently, she learned that I wasn't a threat to her and that my family wasn't a threat to her, and for her own inimitable reasons, she believed she could trust me with her life when I came to draw more blood from her in the middle of the night.

She told me she knew it was a need, but not a need that would threaten her life, so she decided I could have whatever I took from her. When she finally informed me of this, I was speechless and then astonished that any human could be so open and trusting with one of us, no less my entire family; however, I learned none of this until after our relationship changed.

After that first nightly visit, I was able to resist the call of her blood for three months before I finally broke down again and paid another midnight visit to her room. This continued for half a year – I would resist and then break down, but the space in-between became longer. One thing that helped lengthen the space between visits was the weather warming up; as a result, our gym classes become separated more often, so I had less contact with Bella, and outside of class, I avoided her as much as possible.

Even though I avoided contact with Bella during that half year, my brothers and sister went from arguing with me about the dangers she presented to befriending her. According to Alice, it was their way of assuring her silence, but I noticed Alice and Emmet developing an extremely friendly relationship with her. In fact, Alice was making Bella her best friend while Emmett was treating her like his favorite little sister.

I was blissfully unaware of Bella's knowledge about my nightly visits, but one day after school, she hinted that they might not be a secret to her. She cornered me near my locker and said, "I've been dreaming that you visit me while I sleep. When I wake up in the morning, after having one of those dreams, I always feel excited as if I had the most attractive, wonderful person imaginable sneaking into my room and savoring me. Interesting, isn't it?" She had such an alluring smile and her eyes were mesmerizing me, and at the same time, she blushed as she spoke. Then she turned abruptly and walked away.

I couldn't help but notice how gracefully she moved, and how alluring the sway of her hips was; it took everything I had to fix my concentration on the fact that she knew I had been coming into her room at night. I reminded myself that all I desired of her was her blood, nothing else, but I also decided in that moment that I would stay as far away from her as possible and stop exploiting her for her deliciously alluring blood.

My resolve held for the rest of the year even though her friendship with Alice and my brothers grew and her presence was a constant reminder of what I was forfeiting. Still, I was able to resist Bella's siren call until her sixteenth birthday when everything changed.

Revised 5/30/08

Posted 5/30/08


	5. Chapter 5 Her Siren Blood

**AN:**_** Disclaimer – Once again we give credit for all recognizable characters to Stephenie Meyer as well as recognizable vampire traits from **__**Twilight**__** series. The rest of the elements, characters, and plot belong to us.**_

_**Edward added the following chapter so everyone would understand how hard it really was for him to resist the call of Bella's blood at times.**_

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**Chapter 2 – Her Siren Song (2007)**

After reading the last entry, it might seem as if my resistance to Bella's blood was _**easy**_ and unnecessary since I did mention that we could drink human blood without harming the human. I must clarify though, _**easy**_ was hardly the case where Bella's tantalizing blood was concerned. It would probably help if I mentioned some of the ensuing problems related to drinking too frequently from the same human and the excruciating lure of siren-like blood.

To begin with, the longer we draw blood from the same person, the more of their life we take. It actually drains and weakens them and can eventually lead to their death – not the same kind of death undertaken when one became a vampire, but a physical mortal death.

According to Carlisle, our continual consumption of one human's blood, without supplementing our feeding with other human or animal blood, will cause our human host to become anemic and if continued, the anemia will eventually reach a stage whereby the human's body will become excessively tired and susceptible to sickness and disease. He also says transfusions for the human will help for a time but only temporarily. If the vampire continues to drain the human without finding other donors, the human will simply weaken and die.

There are humans and vampires who do choose, for a variety of reasons, to develop platonic relationships. Interestingly enough, this occurs more often between male vampires and female humans. The relationship is a mutual agreement between the vampire and the human whereby the human knowingly agrees to become a host for the vampire and freely offers her blood as a food source but it is not a constant everyday or even every week event. It is more of a monthly donation, and the vampire, if he cares about the human at all, is very careful about how much or how often he imbibes her blood; many humans compare it to a monthly trip to the blood bank to donate blood. When done carefully and properly, the vampire can drain a little over a pint of blood; however, the human donor does face a shorter life span than she might naturally have when she willing becomes a personal blood bank for the vampire.

Humans and vampires both go into this type of relationship with the full understanding that it will not last. The vampire is fully aware of the fact that the human will age and die, and the human, for the most part, wants to stay human and understands that she will eventually die. Any vampire who chooses to develop this type of relationship with a human must, before the relationship begins, explain to the human all the benefits and pitfalls.

The vampire must also consider the effects of venom poisoning when using a human donor. He must take precautions to imbibe enough blood making sure he extracts all of his venom from the human's body. Not even a slight trace of venom must remain in the human's blood system because it will generate problems later on, especially if the vampire in question carelessly leaves traces of venom in the human blood system after each feeding. Over time, venom has a ferocious habit of reproducing itself within human's blood system, and as it multiplies, the venom eventually triggers a deterioration of the human organs. This deterioration progresses so slowly that the human will not undergo a gradual change but a long, drawn-out, agonizing physical death.

Some benefits, however, do result from this type of relationship for both parties. Many humans, in these relationships, see the major benefit as having someone who takes care of them and meets all of their everyday needs. These humans do not need to work or struggle through every day life because their vampire caretaker supplies everything they need to live a healthy, somewhat semi-normal human life. For the vampire, the human companion not only provides a monthly food source but also becomes a reliable food source in case of an emergency. The other major benefit for partners in this type of bond is companionship; they each have someone to talk to and share the cares and joys of life, and for many vampires this aspect of the relationship is just as important as the freely supplied blood.

One harsh unpleasant fact about these relationships is that many human women who enter into them do so because they have been victims of violent crimes. In the past, some women actively sought out a vampire in the hope that he would just end their life but ended up finding someone who would care for them without causing them sever physical pain. In some cases, the vampire finds the woman physically, emotionally, and psychologically damaged during or after the crime and takes the woman home to help her heal, and given the tender care provided, many women willingly elect to stay with their caregiver despite the fact that he, and in some rare cases she, was a vampire.

Someone might ask, how does anyone actively seek out a vampire, and how do these women know about such creatures. Mostly, this goes back to local legends and belief. At one time, more people believed their local legends and sought out the story tellers of the legends. One piece of information they used were the locations where vampire stories originated. When we first learned about these unusual relationships, Carlisle and I carried out a study to discover if there were any patterns in how the two parties found each other. After interviewing over a hundred vampires who had entered into such a relationship, we discovered only one reoccurring pattern. Whether the human found the vampire or vice-a-versa, it always seemed to occur because of some odd occurrence.

In one rather unusual case, the woman unexpectedly took a wrong turn becoming lost and disoriented, and she finally ended up in a deserted woodsy area of the local park. As she was deciding to what to do next, a vampire happened upon her after feeding off an escaped lion from a nearby circus. Had he not killed the lion, the lion would have killed her, or had she not been looking for a location mentioned in a local legend, she never would have become lost and found him.

I must mention that in today's modern society generally the vampire seeks out the woman in need rather than the other way around.

There are two major rules to follow concerning these vampire-human relationships. First, the human must enter into the relationship willingly and must understand what the relationship will entail, and second, the human can never leave the relationship or reveal the vampire's secret under penalty of death.

In Bella's case, I didn't take much blood, I didn't mix my venom into her blood system, and I did seek out animal blood to quench the majority of my thirst, but because she was so young, I still had to be mindful not to take it too much or too often. As mentioned before, younger and older people are more prone to suffer quicker than the average adult is.

The key factor in all of this is that Bella's blood was never ordinary human blood to me. Hers had such an irresistible stimulus on my thirst that no other blood would satiate the voracious cravings I experienced when I was around her. That need was ever prevalent when she was near, and even if we were on opposite sides of the building, her scent was still strong enough to fuel my irrepressible thirst. In addition, her constant presence in my home and around my sibling's didn't help either. It became so bad at times that Alice, Jasper, and Emmett all carried her blood's scent on them even when Bella wasn't present, and her alluring scent permeated most rooms in our home and other natural odors didn't seem to diminish the aroma of her highly aromatic blood. As a result, I hunted more frequently during that first year than anyone else in the family did.

While I fought the desire as often as possible, her blood incessantly lured me to her. Whoever first compared it to the siren's call must have known of where they spoke because once you heard the call you found your resistance deteriorating with every additional call. I had never before fought anything as hard during my entire existence. My one redemption was my family; even though they kept her near at hand, they also helped keep me away from her. That may seem confusing, but by keeping her nearby, they could watch both of us and make sure that I didn't do anything foolish, and they could monitor both of us. At the same time, they began urging different types of relationships – other than predator and prey – to develop. Alice was constantly encouraging me to be friendly, while Emmett explicitly hinted at a more romantic relationship. Jasper, however, remained in the background and watched, but I also noticed that the cravings were less prominent when he was around.

Even with help though, siren blood has a more ensnaring and enticing appeal than any other blood. Bella's blood was a seductive lure to my senses and desires just as the siren's song of old; once it sent out its 'come hither' call, it was irresistibly, uncontrollably, and overwhelmingly the most enticing sound heard by humans. Likewise, the siren's blood had the same irresistible magnetism for the vampire it entices.

My attraction to Bella's blood was not a normal physical need for survival, it was a craving so deep within that there were times when I did feel compelled to sink my teeth into her warm, soft, inviting flesh and drink deeply of her lusciously melodious, thirst-quenching blood. The desire was so overwhelming that it took every ounce of willpower I possessed to resist that sweet, delicious, invigorating temptation.

Of everyone in the family, Jasper probably had the truest idea of the temptation I felt. Because he experienced the emotions of others, he knew just how drawn I was to her blood; he called it a deceptively beguiling desire. Deceptive he said because, if not controlled, I could have easily killed her if I allowed myself to indulge my thirst, and beguiling because it had a mesmerizing affect on me. Jasper was probably my greatest alley during this time because of his special gift for he could experience my deep seeded craving and longing, but also pull on Carlisle's resistance to blood and help stem the desire that swelled up inside of me. He said it also helped him to draw resistance from Carlisle because although his craving was second hand from me, he still thirsted for Bella almost as much as I did. He admitted, years later, that he was always in higher spirits on those days when either I vacated the premise when Bella was around, or when Bella was unable to come over for whatever reason.

Something everyone should know about Jasper is that he didn't have as much of a problem about resisting human blood as he did in the Twilight series. Through study and observation, I have discovered that a person desire for something diminishes when it isn't forbidden than when it is, and so it was with Jasper. Carlisle only encouraged Jasper to give up the practice of drinking human blood, and that seemed to help Jasper overcome his desires especially during that first year when I struggled to resist the pull of Bella's blood.

Carlisle discouraged all of us from drinking human blood, but he never forbade it, but knowing we would disappoint him helped us all to resist temptation most of the time, but like my encounter with Bella, most of us slipped once in awhile – except Carlisle, Rose, and Alice. I read in a post by Mrs. Meyer somewhere that her Carlisle never tasted human blood – well, interestingly enough, neither had my father Carlisle, not even when he changed us.

Not only did I not wish to disappoint Carlisle, I also did not want Bella playing host to my parasitic need even though my thirst constantly clamored for satisfaction because of her siren call. At that time, I didn't fully understand what kind of relationship I wanted to have with Bella, but I definitely knew I didn't want that type of relationship. The last thing I ever wanted was to be the cause of Bella's demise whether it would have resulted from my continually consumption of her blood or giving in to my desire to drink deeply of her blood. I also didn't want to lose Bella through some random freak accident – and she was not immune to freak accidents.

As the year progressed, despite the unrelenting magnetism of Bella's devastatingly delectable blood, many subtle shifts occurred in my feelings for Bella. In fact, the changes in my feelings were so subtle that I didn't detect them, but Emmett, Jasper, and Alice observed every one of them.


	6. Chapter 6 Surprise

_**AN: Disclaimer – I do not own the Cullen or Swan characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review and let me know what you think of the story and whether or not it is worth continuing. Thank you.**_

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**Journal Entry Three – Surprise (1957-58)**

Mrs. Meyer had it right when she claimed Bella's birthday was on the thirteen day of the month, but the month was October not September.

I had spent the rest of the school year lusting after Bella's blood, and occasionally taking it from her, but on a routine social basis, I kept my distance from her. I avoided her as much as possible, and since I was a year ahead of her in school, we did not share any class with the exception of gym because her class was scheduled during the same period as mine, and as I mentioned before, our respective gym teachers liked to put the two classes together when inclement weather discouraged outdoor activities.

That winter and spring, Tacoma experienced the coldest and wettest weather of the past fifty years. I personally felt as if God were punishing me for having sampled, repeatedly, Bella's blood. Not only did the two gym teachers require us to participate in square dancing, but they had also arranged volleyball, badminton, and archery completions. It was during these classes that I discovered Bella was more than a klutz or a jinks, she was a walking accident waiting to happen. Every dangerous occurrence that could happen in any of these sports did happen to her. No matter how hard I tried, I could not ignore or avoid Bella during gym class because, even though I tried to avoid all contact with her, I could not resist the draw of protecting her from serious injury.

Although I could not avoid contact with her during gym, I spent as much time trying to avoid her outside of that class; unfortunately, Alice took it upon herself to become Bella's best friend as the year progressed. By then, the family arguments had stopped, and even Emmett and Jasper had developed more of a friendship with Bella than I had. She ended up spending a lot of time at our house, but when she was there, I generally found somewhere else to go. Emmett claimed I was hiding from her and my feelings. Originally, I thought he meant my desires for her blood; it wasn't until later that I understood to what he was really referring.

At the beginning of my junior year, Bella began to sit at the lunch table with my family because Alice assured her she was more than welcome. When Bella joined us at lunch, I began bringing my calculus book so I could pretend to be doing homework. A few times, I entered into conversations with other students at our table, but I maintained my distance with Bella. I had promised myself not to make our relationship personal even at school. I guess, psychologically speaking, one could say I was in denial because I would not admit to myself or anyone else what I was really beginning to feel for Bella. Maybe I should have gotten a clue how I really felt from how often my eyes fell upon her or how often I actually thought about her. Of course, I just contributed those actions to her continual presence in my siblings' lives, which resulted from her growing relationship with them, but for once, Emmett had seen what I failed or refused to see.

During one lunch period, I made the mistake of striking up a conversation with Susie. I regretted that decision as soon as Susie started flirting with me. I also noticed the look Bella shot at Susie. The old saying, 'if looks could kill,' appropriately described how Bella glared at Susie. A turning point occurred that day in their friendship. From that point on, the friendship slowly dwindled and eventually died.

I kept telling myself that I only wanted one thing from Bella – her blood – and nothing else. Bella, on the other hand, was seeking more of a friendly relationship according to Alice. She informed me that Bella wanted the opportunity to get to know me better, but I told Alice I wanted no part of any other type of relationship with Bella than the one I already had, which to me consisted of avoiding her as much as possible and desperately trying to overcome the insatiable cravings for her blood. Instead, I watched everything Bella did from a distance, and I never admitted to myself that my feelings for Bella, besides the blood lust, were growing.

I had every intension of keeping our relationship non-committal and detached until one of us moved away, but as I said, Bella's birthday changed everything between us. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett decided to give her a birthday party. They scheduled it for Friday night, and Esme and Carlisle were absenting themselves for the evening by going hunting. Alice invited all of Bella's friends, including the male ones, to the party. I kept telling myself it didn't matter who she invited. Arrogance, it seems, can be a great deceiver because I later discovered that I cared very much who she did and did not invite.

My three delusional siblings – as I believed them to be in their beliefs about a budding relationship between Bella and I – planned and arranged everything for the party. Early on, Rose had made it known that she had no intentions of attending the party, but she changed her mind when Emmett mentioned that he was in charge of organizing the party games.

Rose was the only person in the family who shied away from a friendship with Bella. Rose envied Bella rather than disliked her. Rose always felt that Carlisle had changed her too soon; she believed that if he had waited she would have gotten better. She honestly did not believe she would have died if Carlisle hadn't changed her. Nothing Esme, Carlisle, or I said ever made her change her mind. She believed that Carlisle was so intent on finding a mate for me that he changed Rose without giving her a chance to recover from her injuries.

This was another correct fact in Twilight; Carlisle did change Rose thinking she and I would be good for each other. Little did he realize that neither one of us could ever form an attachment for the other. I share this fact so everyone will understand why Rose harbored animosity towards Bella.

When Rose discovered that Emmett would arrange all the party games, Rose grudgingly agreed to attend. Secretly, because I could hear her thoughts, she only agreed to attend so she could keep an eye on Emmett because she knew him well enough to know what types of games he had in mind. I, on the other hand, paid no attention to Emmett's arrangements because I focused solely on Alice's growing guest list. At one point, I commented that she had invited more boys than girls.

"An oversight," she claimed, but I suspected otherwise because I could tell she was keeping her mind more closed off to me.

Alice had one favorite and highly effective way of closing me out of her thoughts. She would recite a poem or a passage of literature that kept her mind off what she didn't want me to see or hear, and she would always choose something she knew I abhorred.

As the party drew closer, I could tell all of my siblings were keeping their minds tightly closed off, so I couldn't help but wonder what they were planning. I realized much later that I should have paid more attention to Emmett's underhanded plans concerning the outcome of one of the party games.

Bella's birthday proved unseasonably warm and beautiful. I couldn't help but think how appropriate the weather was because it seemed to reflect Bella's mood – sunny and cheerful. My Bella enjoyed her birthday much more than the Twilight Bella, but as I learned later, this was not the case with surprises. The afternoon of Bella's birthday, I acted a little more cordial and wished her a happy birthday; then I began to say something about the party, but before I could progress, Alice's voice screamed in my head, 'Don't you dare say a word.' All I could do was quickly glance over at Alice.

Her tone became more quiet but just as stern as she warned, 'This is a surprise party, don't you dare give it away.'

I must have missed that little fact somewhere along the lines of communication because it was a surprise to me as well. Alice, in order to divert Bella attention from what I had been about to say, asked her, "So, are you going to the Halloween dance with Jim? I know he's going to ask you."

Only one thought went through my mind at that moment, 'Some overly hormonal juvenile is going to ask **my** Bella out?' I hadn't realized until that moment that I had been thinking of her as my exclusive property. Well, I decided, in a way she was because her blood was very precious to me, I could admit that much to myself, and I didn't want anyone tainting it especially some pubescent licentious male.

As for Bella's birthday party, I had originally planned not to attend it, even though I had assured Alice I would come, but after that revelation, I decided I would definitely be at that party. I also waited attentively for Bella's reply to Alice's question. Unfortunately, I never heard the answer because before Bella could reply the bell rang sending us all off to different classes. That school semester, Bella and I didn't have any classes together. I had arranged it that way on the first day of school.

I didn't see Bella again until she arrived at our house later that evening. Alice had invited her for a sleepover without mentioning the party, so when she walked in the front door, everyone jumped out and yelled 'surprise!' I could tell from Bella's face that it was a complete surprise to her, but I suspected that she wasn't completely happy with it as I saw a quick fleeting expression of displeasure flit across her face. It was one more time when I wished I could hear her thoughts, and it still mystified me as to why her mind was the only one closed to me. I watched her as she composed herself and then began smiling at everyone as she said 'thank you.' I suspected she really wanted to ask them just to leave and go home, but Bella was too polite to do something as unfriendly as that, even if she really didn't welcome their presence.

The party progressed like any normal teenage party for that time. There was talking, laughing, and dancing at the beginning, but around nine o'clock Emmett gathered everyone together for party games. I already had an idea of what games we'd play because I knew Emmett preferred kissing games; besides, it was the only reason Rose agreed to attend. She wanted to make sure that no other girls kissed Emmett. I wasn't sure how I would feel if I had to watch someone kiss Bella, but it turned out that Emmett arranged this game so no one could watch the couples kissing or not as the case might be.

He had chosen the simple 'spin the bottle' game, but when it came time for the two to kiss, he altered the rules. Instead of kissing in front of everyone, he slipped in the 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' rule. When they kissed, the couple went into a closet for seven minutes or less, if they decided to come out sooner. Emmett explained the closet would give the couples privacy and no one else would know if they actually kissed. He may have used that excuse with everyone in the room, but I heard his internal thought that went with the rules as he explained them. He was hoping Bella and I would end up in the closet together, and that Bella would use the time to get closer to me. It seems he had given her tips about kissing, so if she ever found herself in such a situation, she could respectably steal one.

I began to wonder if the entire party wasn't a ruse, and if the whole motive behind it was to give Bella time to be alone with me. I started searching the minds of my brothers and sisters to see if I could learn more, but as I began probing, I realized they purposely shut me out. That fact alone only made me more suspicious.

The first spin of the bottle, however, paired Rose and Bella's 'wannabe' date for the Halloween party, Jim. I noticed Rose sneer at Emmett as she walked to the closet with Jim trailing behind her. Emmett's eyes iced over, and I heard a low almost inaudible growl rumble in his chest and grow slightly louder after five minutes passed. He never took his eye off the closet door until Rose emerged smoothing down her hair, and the smile that spread across her face only caused Emmett to growl more. Being her typical self, Rose couldn't help but rub in the fact that someone else might have kissed her by running her hand across Emmett's shoulder before she sat down beside him. I was afraid Jim wouldn't leave the house alive because of the rage in Emmett's mind, but then I saw Rose lean in and whisper into Emmett's ear, "This was you're idea not mine. I wanted you in the closet with me," and I noticed she slightly bit down on his earlobe. That was enough to appease Emmett for the time being, but I knew his main thought was to find out if she really let Jim kiss her. I could have saved him the time and effort if he would only have asked.

The game progressed from there. I ended up in the closet with both Rose and Alice, both of whom I kissed on the cheek since they were supposedly my sisters. Emmett finally ended up in the closet with Rose and we had to wait the entire seven minutes before they came out; Rose looked a little ruffled. I was happy to notice that Bella ended up in the closet only with Jasper; however, Jasper kept his mind completely closed to me so I didn't know if he kissed her or not. I was growing impatient and waiting for the game to end when Emmett finally said, "Last spin, and since it is Bella's birthday, she gets to spin."

All I could do while the bottle spun was to hope it landed on Jasper, Emmett, or one of the girls. I wasn't ready to watch Bella go into the closet with any other male in the room. When the bottle finally stopped, it was pointing to me.

I hadn't considered that possibility while we were playing; it would bring me into closer contact with Bella than I had been in for some time. In fact, the last time had been six months earlier when I was in her room sampling her blood for what I had promised was the last time. I wasn't sure how she felt about the prospect of being alone with me in the closet because she waited for me to lead the way, and I noticed an increase in the beat of her heart. That caused me to hesitate fearing I was distressing her.

Emmett's voice prodded me on. "Go on Edward, it isn't like she's going to bite you." Then he turned and smiled at Jasper before continuing, "Is she Jasper?" It was a statement meant to imply that since Jasper had been in the closet with her, he would know.

I almost laughed when he said that because I knew I was the one who had been doing the biting since Bella and I met.

Then Emmett snickered under his breath and inaudibly to humans added, "But maybe she needs to bite you."

His comment startled me, but finally I slowly rose to my feet and walked to the closet without once looking to see if Bella followed me. As I stopped and opened to door to go inside, I sensed her presence behind me. I began to wonder what she was thinking and feeling at that very moment. I held the door open for her and watched as she shyly brushed past me into the closet.

If I had known then what I know today, the rest of the evening would not have been such a disaster.


	7. Chapter 7 The Prom

_**AN: This story runs in dual times. All posts labeled chapter are taking place more recently and a year will be include. All posts labeled 'Journal,' however, are Edward's memories that occurred in the mid 1950's written into a journal. I hope this will clear up any confusion that might occur while reading this narrative.**_

_**Disclaimer: Once again, thanks Stephenie for letting us borrow your wonderful cast of characters for our humble little stories.**_

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**Chapter Seven – The Prom (2007)**

Bella had no idea what I had planned, but the moment I heard about the New Moon prom I began my preparations for surprising her, and with some help from Alice, everything was arranged and ready when we boarded the plane on Saturday morning. Despite the fact that Bella continually proclaimed her dislike of surprises, I found an intense delight in surprising her, and I especially enjoyed myself whenever my planned surprise lit up her face in delight. Over the years, I've come to suspect she secretly did enjoy surprises, or maybe she just enjoyed mine because she always seemed pleased with them afterwards. Of course, it didn't hurt that I've learned what Bella really likes and dislikes; for instance, she dislike being the focus of attention, extremely expensive gifts, and going clothes shopping with Alice.

I had two reasons for deciding on this particular trip. One was the desire to have our copies of Twilight and New Moon signed by the author; in fact, I already knew exactly what I wanted written in each one. The other was because of the extra curricular activity that has been going on in Emmett and Rose's room ever since Emmett found the vampire mating thread – VMT – on the Twilight Lexicon and the 'M' rated stories on .

Emmett also had commenced flavoring his vocabulary with some unique word choices he culled off those threads. On their way up to their room last month, he told Rose as he wound his arm around her waist, "Let's go bake some ginger snap cookies."

Esme happened to walk in as they headed toward the stairs and she commented, "Do you need any help making cookies? I wouldn't mind helping you."

Emmett only chuckled, as he said, "Not that kind of baking." Esme only gave him a confused looked, so before he vanished up stairs as he yelled, "Edward will explain it to you."

It was even worse when he told Rose one evening that he wanted to make a banana split with her. Jasper ended up rolling on the floor when Esme asked, "Emmett, dear, are you feeling okay? You seem a little obsessed with human food lately." Just how do you explain to your mother that his 'baking' does not involve a real oven, no _real_ cooking utensils or ingredients, and definitely no warm fresh pastry as the final product.

It was actually Alice and Bella who finally pulled Esme aside, explained some of the innuendoes, and then sat her at the computer to read some of the VMT posts. Emmett's colorful language got even worse after the posting of the Sex Ed story and all Emmett could talk about was his banana, and he walked around comparing it to everything and everybody else. Rose finally hit him over the head with a wrench one afternoon when he asked her if she liked chocolate covered frozen bananas better than fresh ones.

The scariest part of all the stories and post occurred when Emmett and Rose went out and bought a new wardrobe for their evening "baking." I haven't told anyone about it because I only accidentally found out in an extremely embarrassing manner. Bella may think I have the best gift in the family, but if she'd heard and seen some of the visions and thoughts of those two for the last month, she would definitely see the drawbacks to my ability.

I regretted the day I first introduced Emmett to the VMT, and I should have know better to show him the other stories; they only fueled his iniquitous enjoyment of throwing around sexual innuendoes. I was glad that Bella could no longer blush; otherwise, she would be a constant shade of red. This trip to Phoenix was my way of getting away from Emmett's crude humor and spending a little quiet quality time with Bella.

Of course, I did know Bella wouldn't be happy that I kept the part about attending the prom secret, but in the end, I was hoping she would enjoy herself. Bella finds pleasure in mixing with and talking to humans. It's not that she regrets being changed; she just simply enjoys their company. I was hoping I'd be able to drown out most of their internal chatter and just enjoy watching Bella have a good time.

"So, how are we going to spend the day?" Bella asked as she lay across the bed while I hung up the clothes bag Alice had sent.

Alice not only chosen our wardrobe for the evening, but also booked the reservations for me, and her good taste showed in the room she booked. She choose a suite with a sitting room that included a large screen television and a complementary bar, which was a waste of time for us, and a bedroom with a king sized bed and a Jacuzzi. I decided the last item held lots of potential for late night entertainment, but for now, I had other plans. "Let's go shopping."

I notice the shocked look on Bella's face. "What!"

I smiled and then reassured her. "Not the Alice type of shopping. I thought you might enjoy a trip to some of the local bookstores."

Her face brightened as she asked, "Bookstores? Really?"

I laughed enjoying Bella's look of ecstasy. "Yes, you didn't think I'd drag you around like Alice, did you?" I knew exactly how she felt about some of Alice's marathon shopping sprees. Over the years, Bella had perfected the skill of disappearing right before Alice announced her shopping plans. Of course, it helped that I could give her advanced notice whenever I heard Alice's thoughts about one. In the past year, Alice only caught Bella once and then she spent two days – nonstop – shopping with Alice. After that, I promised to be more diligent about Alice's thoughts regarding shopping. When I was extremely attentive, I could discover Alice pre-planning her trips two or three days in advance, but I had to be careful about what I decided to do so she would not foresee my new decision. If I could remain indecisive, then it was harder for her to see what I was planning. Then of course, if she closed off her thoughts to me, she would catch both Bella and I unaware of her intentions. I also suspected that Bella occasionally choose to be caught just to please Alice.

Before actually arriving in town, I carefully researched the better bookstores in Phoenix and made a list of all the stores we would visit, and then I made sure our rental car had onboard navigation so we would have directions to all the stores I pre-selected.

I knew Bella would enjoy this shopping trip and she happily spent six hours visiting every bookstore on my list. Around 4:30, I returned her to the hotel and told her I had another special place I wanted her to visit, but that she need to change because this place had a dress code for the evening. Bella became overly suspicious when she saw the dress Alice had packed for her.

"Edward." I knew that tone, it was her 'you'd better explain or I'll ruin your evening' tone. Bella had learned to become more forthright about her rights and desires over the years, not that she stopped caring about others, but she was now able to stand up for herself more than she did as a human. I actually liked that about her because it was harder for the rest of the family to take advantage of her unless she allowed it, well, with the acceptation of Alice who occasionally seemed to be able to take advantage of most of us at some point in time.

Part of Alice's ability, I realized, was the fact that she knew, because of her visions, when we were the most pliable to her suggestions. Even I wasn't immune to her persuasiveness especially when she knew exactly what would persuade me, and, when she wanted to, Alice could become extremely successful at blocking me from her thoughts. Of course, Alice's ability was also handy when I wanted to treat Bella to something special because Alice could tell me when or if Bella would be pleased with the surprise. Since Alice was very seldom wrong, I was optimistic for this evening's surprise.

"Bella, you'll like this place. They are having a special event this evening and I know you will like it," she began giving me her 'I really don't like surprises' look, but before she could utter one word, I hurriedly added, "And if you decide you really aren't enjoying yourself, we will leave." I gave her my special smile – the one she called crooked – to add to my words just before lightly kissing her on the lips. I knew it worked because of the look in her eyes.

When I finally accepted the fact that I would never hear what Bella was thinking, I began honing my skills at reading her face. I soon discovered that her eyes were extremely expressive, so I spent many hours watching her as she interacted with others, and I eventually learned to recognize the different expressions she used to articulate specific emotions. The first look I identified was her dazzled look. The easiest ways for me to dazzle her are my crooked smile, a deep kiss, and lightly running my fingers down her spine.

After I learned to recognize her dazzled look, I was able to pick out her 'embarrassed' and then, 'angry' expressions, both of which came in handy whenever I was trying to do something special for her like today. Once I learned to read her emotions, I was able to learn how to get around some of them. Of course, the easiest way to get around most of them was to dazzle her, unless she decided to turn her special ability on me and then I found myself as the 'dazzlee'.

The first time she dazzled me, I realized why my dazzling upset her so much when she was a human, and why she would get mad at me when I would use it to get my way. Being 'dazzled' felt as if you lost all control of your own choices and someone else was manipulating you. Even if the one who dazzles you is a person who you love and trust, it still feels like a violation of your own free will. I felt that way the first time Bella dazzled me, and as a result, it was easy to surmise that Bella felt the same way when I dazzled her.

Of course, Bella never stayed mad at me for long when I did dazzle her. Her anger was exactly like quicksilver; it came and went in a flash. She never could stay angry with any one for an extended period; she is just too forgiving. Of course, on my own behalf, I am grateful for her forgiving nature. I keep telling her she has a heart of gold, to which she will laugh and reply, "The better to love you with." The first time she said it, I didn't understand what she meant. Then she explained her favorite story as a child was "Little Red Riding Hood."

Bella always believed the wolf in the fairy tale was misunderstood, and instead of wanting to eat Little Red – as Bella called her – he was actually in love with her, but Little Red never comprehended his true feelings for her. Bella claimed she felt sorry for those labeled as monsters in stories. She acknowledged having the same feelings for Dracula and Frankenstein's monster when she read both of those books. I've remembered her comment over the years because I felt it explained why she felt drawn to me from the very first, why she suspected I was a vampire first and a kook second when I sampled her blood for the first time, and why she refused to ever see any of my family as monsters. Now I ask you, how could I help but fall in love with someone who has such a huge, loving, understanding heart?

I discovered many remarkable truths about Bella through the years that we've been together, and the one that stands out the most is the fact that Bella views many generally accepted everyday beliefs differently than the normal human or vampire. That is one reason why I enjoy surprising her; I can try to guess what her reaction will be, but most of the time I'm the one being surprised when her reaction ends up being something I would never have expected. Fortunately, only a very few of them have ever been negative, and I'm honestly hoping this one will not turn out negative; I also have the added assurance from Alice's that this surprise will turn out fine.

I pre-arranged everything so that we arrived at the PE building on the Tempe campus promptly at 6 pm. I hadn't wanted to arrive early because I felt it was best not to mingle with the crowd that was waiting to attend the Prom. Once Bella saw the other attendees and watched me pull two books out of the back seat, she realized why Alice had chosen this particular dress. Alice always out did herself when choosing clothes, and she knew I really enjoyed seeing Bella wear certain shades of blue.

"Edward," she hissed, "this isn't what I think it is, is it?"

I just smiled slyly.

"This wasn't a good idea." She whispered. "What if someone becomes suspicious? We could be endangering them and us if word gets out."

I only smiled as I replied, "Don't worry, Bella. You can alter their memories before we leave, and I'll monitor their thoughts while we are here."

"And just what is that group of ogling girls to the left thinking?"

"The usual," I answered with a frown. Age didn't matter, all female thoughts ran along the same lines when they first looked at any of the Cullen males, and the group standing around the door awaiting admittance was no different.

'He's gorgeous. I wonder if he'd be interested in the after prom party.'

'Why can't my boyfriend look like that?'

'I wonder if he enjoys baking with strangers. Maybe I can meet him inside.'

'Some girls get all the luck; great looks and a drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend. It isn't fair.'

'Wow, he's hot.'

Of course, the male voices were just as bad.

'Hot! I wonder if there are any more at home like her, but older.'

'Jail bait but what a way to go.'

'What a looker, and that dress leaves little to the imagination.'

After hearing some of the comments about Bella, I wondered if I should have monitored Alice's choice of dresses. I made a mental note that if I ever did something like this again, I would have to make sure the dress was less flattering and revealing, not that I didn't appreciate the view; I just didn't like it when others looked at her that way or harbored such thoughts. She's my wife and I don't believe in sharing in any way, shape, or form.

As the line slowly filtered into the doors, Bella quietly asked, "So, do you think this will be worth it?"

"What?" I asked.

"Attending this particular prom, do you think it will be worth the effort of sneaking around behind my back arranging it all?"

"Did you have fun this afternoon?" I smiled as I asked.

"Yes."

"Then it was already worth it."

She gave me a quizzical look.

"Bella, any time you're enjoying yourself, especially if I arranged the pleasurable event, then I think it's well worth my effort. Besides, I experience a pleasurable feeling when I what you face light up and then that glowing smile spreads across your delicious lips."

Bella playfully slapped my shoulder, and her face did glow as a smile spread across it. I was also feeling overly possessive due to the male thoughts floating through the parking lot, so as we were waiting our turn to present our tickets, I wrapped my arm lovingly around Bella's shoulder. I wanted every male who was watching to know that this was my girl, and I really wished I could tell them to focus their thoughts on someone else, especially some of the father's who came with their daughters.

Scanning the parking lot, I could easily judge that the females vastly outnumbered the males, but it was the male voices that were hard to tune out because it was 'MY' Bella the decadent thoughts were focused on. As flattering as a few of the thoughts might be, the obscene ones triggered the 'She's mine' knee jerk reaction. I once joked with Emmett about buying Bella a novelty T-shirt that read 'Property of Edward.' As a result, Emmett went out and bought her one that read 'I belong to him' on the front and on the back it finished 'or so I let him believe!' Bella enjoyed wearing that shirt every time we went somewhere public – one day that shirt mysterious disappeared.

The evening actually progressed fairly well. Bella mingled with a few people, and I smiled as I watched her relaxing and beginning to enjoy herself. When they finally introduced Stephenie Meyer, I found a place where Bella and I could sit together as Mrs. Meyer read the first chapter of Eclipse. There had never been a question about buying a copy of the special edition; one of the bookstores I had arrange to visit on our trip was the store where I had placed the special edition of New Moon on reserve when I ordered the tickets for the prom.

Bella wouldn't totally admit it, but I knew she was glad I made her come. If I had left it up to her whether we would have attended, she would have refused, but as we sat with my arms wrapped around her and her head resting comfortable against my chest, I knew she was enjoying this touch of normalcy in our otherwise abnormal life.

I spent the final moments of the prom getting our copies of Twilight and New Moon signed. I had pre-planned exactly what I wanted written in them, so while I waited patiently in line, Bella wondered around the room stealthily altering memories.

As I stood awaiting my turn, I noticed that Mrs. Meyer's blood had a rather pleasant aroma. Not as nice or alluring as Bella's, but as Emmett would say, 'it has a pleasing aromatic bouquet about it.'

By the time I had our books signed, Bella had guaranteed we could leave with no one having any memory of our attendance. In addition, we had been extremely careful to avoid all the picture takers, and I must admit there were a vast number of flashes as everyone seemed intent on capturing this memorable moment on film.

As we walked out the door into the night air, I asked, "So, was it worth it?" Remembering what she has asked me earlier in the evening.

"Yes, Edward, it really was worth it. I enjoyed meeting all the fans, I enjoyed the reading, and I even had fun altering their memories of the evening." She put her hand over her mouth trying to hide what I recognized as her guilty laugh; I instantly knew she had done something that some might considered a little wicked.

"So, exactly what was it that you probably shouldn't have done?" I tried to sound as serious as possible. I knew I'd never duplicate the parental tone of Carlisle or Esme, but at least I tried.

Bella's only response was to laugh a little harder.

"Bella, is this something you and Emmett will laugh about later?"

Emmett had become something of a less than wholesome influence on Bella. The two of them loved to play jokes on humans as well as the family. It wasn't like they were harmful, just playful, and I have to admit we all ended up laughing about them later, but I couldn't help but remember my shy, innocent, naive human Bella who would never have had the courage to pull some of the pranks she and Emmett planned over the past forty plus years. I also knew whenever she pulled one of these pranks; she would get this twinkle in her eyes when she laughed, and she would always try to hide her infectious laughter behind her dainty pallid hands.

My question only caused her to laugh even harder, so instead of questioning her again, I just sent my mind shifting through the thoughts in the gym until I finally found what I was looking for.

"Bella, that wasn't very nice." I tried to sound reprimanding even though I was battling not to laugh.

Bella laughed a little more, but then turned a somber look toward me. "But Edward, it made her happy. I felt such sadness rolling off her soul that I just wanted to add a little joy to it."

"And do you know what she's planning to do with that bit of joy you left her with?" I was shaking my head in such a way as to imply that it wasn't a noble endeavor.

Bella became extremely somber. "I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean any harm." Her crest fallen look as she lowered her head in shame melted my resolve to teach her a lesson. Had she been human she would have dissolved into tears.

I placed my hand under her chin and tilted her head up until our eyes meet. I gave her the warmest smile I could generate. "Bella, honey, it's okay. She's planning on turning the little vignette into a short story, and even without Alice's talent, I can tell you Emmett will be ecstatically delighted."

Bella's look brightened a little, "Are you sure? I really didn't mean to cause any harm, Edward."

I felt my heart lurch as I saw a glimmer of hope slightly brighten her eyes. "Believe me, you didn't. I was just trying to teach you a lesson, but I should know better. You never would do anything to intentionally harm anyone." That I had caused her even a moment of anxiety and pain triggered guilt to rise up in me, and then seeing her look of hope reminded me of the vast expanse of love that I felt for Bella and how much I wanted to please her with everything I said and did; as a result, I felt even guiltier about suggesting what she had done was wrong.

She smiled as she said, "Thank you, Edward." That smiled lifted my heart.

"For what?" I asked.

"Thank you for this trip, this evening, and for not being upset with me." Her loving look melted my heart even more.

Whenever she looked at me like that, my reasons for falling in love with her became abundantly clear. She could exude more love from her eyes than anyone I had ever met, and the best part was that she directed all that love at me. "Promise me one thing Bella?" I asked as I drank deeply of her love filled eyes.

"Anything," she whispered.

"Never share with anyone an image of me dressed like that."

"I promise."

We had only seen Emmett dressed in those chaps, cowboy boots, and hat once, but it was a mental image I would never be able to erase. The only redeeming factor, in my mind, was that he had the decency to keep his boxers on before he had opened his bedroom door.

"Come on Bella, the night is still young, and we have a Jacuzzi waiting for us back at the room." I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulled her close, and walked her to the car.

Bella giggled, and as I held the door for her she said, "Edward, I want to do something special for you this evening as a way of saying thank you for this trip."

I decided this could be promising. "And just what do you have in mind?"

"Well, that is actually a surprise, but it will involve the Jacuzzi and something Emmett once shared with me."

Bella had turned her face away from me, and it made me curious as to what Emmett could share that she would want to participate in, so I leaned into the car and asked, "Bella is it safe? I mean, Emmett has some very odd ideas . . ."

She quickly turned toward me from her seated position and placed a finger on my lips. "Edward, I think we'll both enjoy this. Not all Emmett's ideas are dangerous or . . . well . . . um . . . sorta kinky." A huge grin spread across her face, and I immediately knew she would have been blushing from the top of her head all the way down to her dainty little toes if she were human.

This could end up being an extremely memorable evening, I decided.

After I closed her door, zipped around to my side of the car, and opened the door, Bella asked, "What did Mrs. Meyer write in the books?"

"Exactly what I asked her to write." I replied as I handed both of the books to Bella and then slid into the driver's seat.

Bella opened each book and read aloud the inscriptions.

**'A love that will last for eternity is worth the sacrifice of mortality; Bella and Edward forever.'**

**'What's a bite between friends when eternal love hangs in the balance.'**

"Edward, that's absolutely beautiful," Bella sighed.

"It comes from my heart, Bella."

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_References made to other sites or stories include: VMT at www(dot)__twilightlexiconforum(dot)com(backslash)viewtopic.php?t(equal sign)1198__ (this is the first of many postings) and 'Cullenary Education: Forks Sex Ed' at __www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/3472497/1/__ , and I would also like to acknowledge UnicornGoddess whose stories also helped inspire some of this chapter; view her stories at __www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1222379/UnicornGoddess95__ ._

_If you cannot access these websites, then send me a private email with an email address other than fanfiction and I will send the sites as links, which cannot be done through or on fanfiction._

Posting AN: I do not vouch for the accuracy of the "Prom" information since I personally did not attend it.


	8. Chapter 8 The Kiss

**Disclaimer: The characters all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**I hope you enjoy the journal entry written by Edward about what happened in the closet.**

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**Journal Entry Five – The Kiss (1958)**

It was a nice sized closet so we didn't have to stand very close. I felt rather hesitant and awkward because I wasn't sure what she was expecting from me, nor did I know if she or Jasper had kissed while they were in the closet together. Jasper had kept his mind very closed on that subject, and Bella's mind . . . well hers was a solid, impenetrable brick wall.

I always considered myself an expert at everything I did, but this was new territory for me, and Bella was a different type of human. I never encountered any human in all my years that aroused the emotions in me that Bella did. In fact, no vampire had ever stirred these new emotions either. I also found I had begun thinking about her as a girl, and I had to admit that I didn't know very much about her other than the fact that her blood had the most delectable scent I had every experienced, and its taste superseded any I had ever encountered before. Other than that, she was mostly an enigma to me.

"Are you thirsty?" She asked as she steadily stared into my eyes with her large brown ones.

Alice had turned the closet light on before we began playing so it was easy for her to gaze deeply into my eyes. I could have seen her eyes with the lights off, but the depth of her intent look astonished me as the soft hue from the dim bulb illuminated the depths of her eyes.

Despite the fact that I felt I was losing myself in her gaze, I couldn't help but laugh as I replied, "This isn't a drinking game Bella; it's a kissing game."

"I know, but you have that look in your eyes," she replied as her eyes penetrated deeper into my inner most being.

As I felt myself literally captivated by her deep brown eyes, I realized they were very expressive. I once again noticed how deep they were, as well, and how, as I stared into them, I couldn't pull myself away. "What look?" I murmured softly trying to pull myself up from the depth of those exquisite brown pools, but the harder I tried to extract myself, the more I felt drawn in.

"That hungry look. I see it so often when you're around me," she commented shyly. "It was in your eyes that first day in the park as well. I just figured you were ready to drink again."

I noticed how pale her face was, and how her eyes seemed to glow as my own remained locked onto hers. I realized her breathing had changed; she was breathing a little deeper and quicker, and even her heart rate had increased. I wondered what emotion was causing her heart to quicken. Was it fear, I pondered. Most humans did fear us to some extent because of our alieness. I was learning with Bella, however, that what was normal for most was not always the case with her, and if I really wanted to know how she felt, I knew I was going to have to ask – so I did, "Are you afraid of me?"

"No," she replied quickly, but her heart rate only increased, and her blush turned a lovely deep shade of red.

"What are you feeling?" I had to know what was causing her heart to race. I had to understand what she was sensing internally.

"Something you might not like," she replied softly as she pulled her gaze from mine and lowered it to the floor finally releasing me from the magnetism of her eyes. As her broken gaze released me, I felt a sense of loss, which also confused me.

I tentatively reached out, put my finger under her chin, and raised it up until her eyes met mine again. "Tell me anyway." My curiosity was great and I had to appease it.

"Anticipation," she replied even more softly and the red in her checks deepened even more than I thought possible causing her aroma to intensify and within the enclosed space there was no way to dissipate its smell.

My thirst did increase but not nearly as much as my curiosity. I felt extremely baffled by her reply. "Anticipation of what?"

"Remember, you asked," she warned in a low whisper. She took a deep breath and then continued, "Of whether you are really going to kiss me."

I hadn't expected that reply, but the blush that came with it didn't surprise me. I asked myself, 'Did she really think I would kiss her, especially if she didn't want me to?' That thought made me ask myself, 'Did I want to kiss her?' It wasn't something I had thought about before in relation to her, but now that we were together in this private enclosed space, I wondered what it would be like to press my cold hard lips to her soft warm ones. Would I like it, or would it be a droll unmemorable experience?

I knew from the experiences and thoughts of my family that they enjoyed kissing, especially Emmett and Rose who kissed every chance they got. I couldn't help but wonder, after all this time, what that experience was truly like. Maybe this would be my chance to find out. Maybe Rose was correct in believing there was something wrong with me and I wouldn't enjoy experience but then again maybe I would.

To reassure her that I wouldn't force anything, I offered, "I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

The look in her eyes quickly changed from what I thought was fear to something more smoldering, like desire. "Oh," she breathed, "But I do want you to very much," and with her words her cheeks once again reddened.

I discovered quickly that I enjoyed watching her blush; I also enjoyed the intensified bouquet of her blood that resulted from the blush. As with fine wine as it ages, her blushes only made the fragrance that much more pleasing.

I hadn't anticipated her response because of its boldness and I should have felt shocked or surprised when she first answered, but instead, I discovered a warm pleasurable tingling welling up inside of me. This was a new feeling I hadn't experienced before, but I found I enjoyed it immensely. Later, I recognized this was anticipation of what was going to occur.

As I looked deeply into her eyes I saw the truth of her statement revealed in them, and I suddenly felt myself drawn to her, as if some magnetic pull had been stimulated. I couldn't have stopped what happened next even if I had consciously tried.

I found myself cupping her face ever so gently between my hands and slowly leaning down to kiss her. I meant to give her a brief chaste kiss, but once our lips met, I found I wanted more. What I had meant to be a friendly little kiss suddenly turned into an overwhelming emotion that engulfed me with its intensity of desire. She drew nearer to me and entwined her arms around my neck, while I wrapped my arms around her slender body and lifted her slowly and carefully off the floor.

I lost myself in the new thrilling tingling sensations that rippled throughout my entire body. I knew how intoxicating her blood tasted, but the taste of her lips pushed me past intoxication and into a euphoric state that I had never encountered before. The warmth and softness of her lips excited me in an unfamiliar manner. The magnificent taste on her lips excited my sensations and I soon found myself lost in the desire to deepen the kiss and never to let go of her. If I someone had asked me to describe heaven, I would have said I was in heaven at that very moment. Why Emmett was always kissing Rose was no longer a mystery to me. If every kiss felt like this, then I too would gladly repeat the experience as often as possible.

I always knew Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle kissed their wives and that pleasant thoughts accompanied the action, and if they prolonged the kiss, their thoughts became more intimate, but I never really understood those emotions. That was Jasper's forte – emotions – so _this_ was entirely new to me, and my one thought was that I needed more. The need for more seemed so essential that before I realized what I was doing, I ran my tongue along her lips drinking in the taste of them and losing myself in her fragrance. Not just the fragrance of her blood however, but the full fragrance wafting off her entire body. I heard a soft moan escape from Bella the moment my tongue caressed her lips, and even that response seemed to awaken new desires in me that I never imagined existed.

I'm not sure how long we kissed or how far the kiss would have gone if there hadn't been a sharp rap on the door and Emmett's booming voice asking, "Are you two still alive?" I suddenly realized what I had done and felt ashamed and guilty about losing control and forcing myself on Bella in such a manner. I gently put Bella down and pulled away from her. Then, because of the shame and guilt, I quietly apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen." I wasn't sure if she was mad, upset, or angry because she suddenly burst into tears, pushed open the door, and ran from the closet. I heard Alice ask her if she was okay, but Bella didn't stop. I saw her run up the stairs and head toward Alice's room. Alice was close behind her.

Emmett just stared at me and asked, "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing," I assured him. "We just talked, that's all." I wasn't about to tell him, especially with everyone else watching and listening, that I had passionately kissed Bella or that I would still be passionately kissing her if he hadn't interrupted. I went back to the group and pretended as if nothing happened, but I noticed Jasper staring at me with a rather smug look and an extremely closed mind. In fact, I quickly discovered that both my brothers had blocked me out of their minds, and I was unable to hear anything Alice said to Bella or what Bella replied.

I decided, for Bella's sake, I would appear as normal as possible to everyone in the room; I didn't want anyone to think she was easy or loose, and I didn't want them to know we kissed. I knew most of them didn't kiss while they were in the closest because I heard a lot of regret in their minds about what they thought they had missed. I just hoped Bella wasn't to upset with me, but I had to admit my newly awakened emotions were clamoring for immediate attention. I could still feel my lips on hers, I could still feel the tingling sensations like little surges of electrical shock pulsating through my entire body, and I could still taste the sweetness of her full luscious kissable lips and my senses yearned for more.

Bella finally came downstairs fifteen minutes later with Alice and apologized to everyone for leaving so abruptly but didn't offer any explanation as to why. Alice promptly decided it was time to cut the cake, so she led everyone to the dining room and had Jasper turn off the lights as she came out with a large layer cake studded with sixteen flaming candles.

The rest of the party was less eventful with Bella blowing out the candles and then opening her birthday presents I wish to point out that she never once received a paper cut while opening those presents, which she kept telling everyone they shouldn't have bothered with because for her it was enough that they had given her a party. After opening presents and serving the cake and ice cream, we all returned to the living room and Emmett turned on some slow, soft music and dimmed the lights with instructions for everyone to find a partner and dance.

Alice walked over to me leading Bella, and asked me if I would dance with Bella. I figured after the disaster in the closet that I would be the last person she would want to be around, but I told myself I would agree for Bella's benefit. What I should have admitted to myself was that I agreed to dance with her for my benefit because it meant I would have the opportunity to hold her close to me again and possibly calm some of the turbulent desires that had activated soon after Bella had run off.

At first, I was unsure why Bella would want to dance with me because I had been so forward with her that I figured she must have thought me a cad. I had never kissed anyone before, and what happened in the closet definitely went beyond the innocent party kiss. I also didn't want to acknowledge the new desires that had arisen in me, but more than anything else, I greedily craved as close a proximity to Bella as possible. She seemed hesitant at first, but Alice's silently encouraged me to escort Bella into the middle of the room to dance. I tentatively took her hand and led her to an empty spot in the room, all the time she kept her eyes shielded from me by looking down at the floor. Oh, how I coveted a tiny peek into her thoughts. Even the slightest hint would have helped me know what to say to better rectify matters between us.

As Bella and I began to dance, I noticed she still focused her eyes on the floor rather than on me. I craved insight into her feelings, and even more, I desired to know if there was any chance that she might share one iota of the feelings I now harbored for her.

As we danced, I had the sudden urge to hold Bella closer and repeat the kiss we shared the closet. I soon began evaluating why these feeling were occurring for me, and I knew I couldn't ask Bella if she shared any of them for me. Once again, I felt as if I needed to apologize for making Bella cry and for being so forward but was afraid that if I did apologize I would only remind her of what happened and that would make her cry again. I finally decided not to say anything for fear of ruining the rest of her party. Besides, I told myself, I should just enjoy the contentment of holding Bella in my arms.

Near midnight, Alice called an end to the party reminding everyone that most of them had a curfew. "Besides," she said, "Our parents will be home at midnight and they wouldn't want anyone to end up in trouble with their parent's because of a party we hosted."

I watched Bella as she stood at the door and thanked everyone for coming. I noticed for the first time how beautiful she looked. I had never really noticed that before. Well, I had, but I never wanted to admit to myself that I found her attractive, but as I stood back and drank in her entire being, I felt as if it was the first time I was really looking at _her_ instead of focusing on her blood. She had a lovely figure, and I remembered how soft and warm she felt in my arms, first while we were in the closet and then again, while we were dancing. I yearned for a return of that feeling. One new desire, more than any other, intensely swelled up within me. It was a desire to be with her, not for her blood, but for her, for the taste of her lips and the feel of her resting within my embrace. These were surprising feelings to me because of their intensity, and I found it hard not to give into them. I had never felt this way for any human or non-human before, and I was beginning to wonder what these feeling truly meant.

At the same moment that I was pondering my new emotions, I caught some of the same emotions coming from Emmett but he directed them toward Rose. I suddenly wondered if what I was experiencing were emotions connected to love, not just lust or love like most teenagers felt, but a true deeper everlasting love like the kind Emmett and Rose had for each other, or like Jasper and Alice shared. Was this what Carlisle felt for Esme as well, I wondered? Was I experiencing a newfound love for Bella, and if so, how would she feel about it? Could she ever return my feelings, or would she reject me because of the kiss in the closet? Maybe she would reject me as a monster that used her for the past year as a sporadic meal source.

I thought back to the time she cornered me at my locker and informed me, "I've been dreaming that you visit me while I sleep. When I wake up in the morning, after having one of those dreams, I always felt excited as if I had the most attractive, wonderful person imaginable sneaking into my room and savoring me." I remembered feeling shocked because she had been aware of my visits, but now her comment about _savoring her_ took on a completely new meaning for me. Before I had only _savored_ her blood, now I had actually _savored_ her. I never had that experience before; I had never desired that experience before, but as I thought about what happened in the closet and how it felt I again craved a repeat performance. The truth was I never had a relationship with a human before much less a romantic one, so I didn't know what to expect or how to go about discovering if Bella reciprocated my feelings.

With that thought another consideration appeared, just how far could our romance go if we started one? Kissing was extremely enjoyable, but what else would she expect and what else would I want? I knew where romance could lead; living in a household with three married couples and having gone through medical school once there was nothing that I didn't know about marriage, desire, and sexual fulfillment. I always tried to give everyone their privacy during those moments, but sometimes, when I least expected it, I intercepted some extremely private moments, and when I did, I would immediately retreat from whoever's mind I had encountered, but even the small accidental glimpses gave me enough knowledge to know what went on behind closed doors. Even if a serious relationship was to develop between us and we were to be married, what hope was there if she remained human? Because of her human frailty, we could never consummate the marriage; no, if ever our relationship – which, I had to remind myself, were non-existent now – developed to that point, I would have to change Bella in order for us to have a real marriage and an intimate relationship.

'But how would Bella feel about that?' I thought. Would she be willing to give up her human life for me? There was so much to think about and so many emotions raging through my body that I felt weighed down by them all. I decided I had to choose what type of relationship I wanted to develop with Bella. If I choose romance, I would have to choose how far I would want it to develop, and that consideration brought me back to thoughts of true intimacy and whether I would want to experience them with Bella.

Those, however, would _not_ be moments I'd share with Bella outside of marriage, but I knew there were other romantic activities that some teenagers participated in when actively dating. Teenage male minds always seemed actively preoccupied with those images, and sometimes even with girls they were not dating. It was amazing to me how lustful juvenile male minds were, and sometimes I found the female mind just as lustful.

Throughout the years, there seemed to be a slight relaxing in what was and was not permissible before marriage. Take _petting_ for instance, the first time I encountered that concept in the minds of teenagers around me, I was shocked. That a girl would allow any boy's hand to wonder over her body like that seemed indecent, but the more time I spent around teenagers, the more I realized many of them not only accepted the act but also anticipated it. As the 1950's progressed, petting seemed to become more acceptable to teen minds and began to wonder further down the human anatomy. The activity had never interested me before, but now, as I thought about attempting to develop a more human relationship with Bella, I began to wonder what it would feel like to be that intimate with her and how she would feel about it.

I recognized that my mind was wandering further ahead of what was actually occurring. If I wanted to develop any relationship with Bella, I realized I would have to start by developing a friendship with her first, but what, I had to ask myself, did I really know about Bella as a person?

Alice and my brothers knew many things about Bella that I didn't know. My knowledge of her would have filled a large thimble but only just, and most of that knowledge related to her blood. After that kiss, I knew there was more I wanted to learn about her, but that prospect also scared me. I had never before been interested in anyone enough, especially a human, to want to spend quality time learning about him or her personally, but with this slip of a girl, I hungered for personal knowledge. In order to achieve this, I was going to have to talk to her to discover whatever I wanted or needed to know about her. Talking to a human on a personal basis was completely uncharted territory for me.

Before, if I wanted to find out about someone, I could learn whatever I needed just by tapping into his or her thoughts. Unfortunately, that option wasn't available where Bella was concerned, so if I sought more about her, I would have to talk to her – what a novel experience that would be for me. Since I had never felt the need to become acquainted with people through talking to them, this would prove a bit of a challenge. Instead of rummaging through her thoughts looking for answers, I would actually have to express my questions verbally and she would be able to choose whether she would answer them.

I made a quick inventory of what I already knew about Bella. I knew she embarrassed easily causing her to turn the most delicious shades of red, which also heightened her aromatic floral scent. I learned this from Emmett because he was constantly making colorful remarks in front of her that he knew would embarrass her. I also knew he secretly enjoyed watching her blush and that's why he chose to tease her with such embarrassing comments. Jasper pointed out that she had keen since of humor, and she wasn't offended when Emmett played jokes on her. He also claimed she was witty. Alice once shared with me that Bella had a bubbly personality and that she was very friendly. Alice actually mentioned this because she was a little concerned that Bella might be a little too friendly without being cautious enough in choosing to whom she offered her friendship. After learning that, I watched her more vigilantly to make sure someone who might prove dangerous to her wasn't taking advantage of her.

Other characteristics that I noticed through observation included her clumsiness, the fact that she was severely accident prone, and that she was kind and considerate sometimes to a fault. I also noticed she was keenly observant; she seemed to see what others missed because she took time to examine carefully everything around her. She was the first human, according to Carlisle, who asked him why people didn't notice that his children didn't age the way other teenagers did. Alice had told Bella that when we move into a new area, Alice and I would enroll as either eighth or ninth graders while the other three enrolled in the next grade above us, but nobody ever questioned the fact that our features and supposedly maturing bodies never change. When enrolled as eighth graders, many people in the community would make a comment about most of us looking older than that, but Carlisle and Esme would just state that we were mature for our age.

Not only was Bella more observant than other humans were, but it wasn't as easy sway her. So many teens seemed to be followers, and many followed blindly without asking why they shouldn't follow whoever the designated leader was. Bella, on the other hand, analyzed her own choices and decisions. She didn't just jump to a decision, at least not when it pertained to human situations. Vampire situations differed a little. I noticed everyone in the family had a bit more sway with her, but that was because of our abilities. Still, in Bella's case, their abilities were more curtailed than with any other normal human.

It was true that Alice, Jasper, and Emmett could convince Bella to do some things she might not normally do, but there were limitations. Just as I couldn't change Bella's memory that day in the park, they couldn't persuade her to do anything that she perceived as morally and ethically wrong. I honestly believed that this resistance tied into the other characteristic that I observed; Bella was extremely sensitive to the feelings of others. Bella would never do anything that she thought might cause even minor harm to another. Bella was and still is extremely sensitive to the feelings of others.

It was too bad I wasn't as sensitive to her emotions the night of her birthday. If I had been more aware of her true feelings, then we might have avoided so many misunderstandings and miscomprehensions where the other was concerned.


	9. Chapter 9 Shocking Rose

**AN: I do not own these characters.**

**Journal Entry Six – Shocking Rose 1958**

After everyone left, I sat out on the porch under the night stars pondering what to do about my newfound feelings and still wondering what they really meant. I had immersed myself so completely in deciding what to do next that I didn't hear Rose until she sat down beside me.

"A penny for any of those thoughts that are keeping you preoccupied," she compassionately remarked.

At first, I hesitated to share my feelings especially since they covered new and unexplored realms of my emotional essence, but I also needed someone else's reflections as to what love felt like. From experience, I knew how Rose felt about Emmett; it wasn't something I needed to ask her, but I did wonder how she knew she loved him when she first saw him. If she hadn't felt a deep love for him, she would have allowed the bear to finish him off. She had a tendency to see everything in black and white, so she would have viewed the incident as the way life was. Some people live and some die, but not Emmett; she wouldn't allow Emmett to die, which was why she carried him to Carlisle and begged him, no, she demanded that he change Emmett. Instead of explaining my dilemma, I decided to ask her outright about her feelings for Emmett.

"Rose, how did you know you loved Emmett when you first saw him?"

At first, she just stared at me. I was afraid she wouldn't answer, but after delving into her thoughts, I realized she was recalling the event. I saw the images flash through her thoughts and then heard her recalled thoughts at the time. Her strongest thought had been, 'Not him!'

"I'm not sure why you want to know, but with Emmett I just knew. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him, but he was dying. I didn't even think twice about what to do. I knew Carlisle would have to help me save him because I wasn't going to lose him. I never regretted that decision, and I don't think Emmett does either." She paused slightly and then said thoughtfully, "At least he has never said he regretted my decision."

Her answer hadn't really resolved my dilemma, and I sensed a building curiosity on her part about Emmet's regret or lack of it. I decided I would settle her apprehension and then rephrase my question. "Rose, I can assure you he has no regrets about being changed or about being with you." This earned me one her allusive but heartfelt smiles, which brightened her face and made her appear lovelier than ever. Usually, she saved these smiles for Emmett. Once she was happy, I continued probing, "Okay, so how did you know what you felt for Emmett was love?"

"I'm not sure," she tilted her head slightly as she thought about what I had asked. "I guess I just knew. I'm not sure how. It wasn't as if I had ever truly been in love before, but I felt as if my heart had said I would spend eternity with this person. I felt thrilled and excited by that idea. I had never felt that happy before, not even as a human. In fact, it was the first time I had ever felt truly happy since Carlisle had changed me." She looked over at me, I sensed her curiosity peak again, and then she asked, "Why the sudden interest in love?"

"Well," I knew I didn't want to say I loved Bella because I still wasn't sure if I did, so I hesitantly answered, "I was just wondering. I . . . well; I never really talked to anyone before about love. During my time, my parents would have picked a nice girl for me and then would have hoped after we were married that I would learn to love her, but neither of my parents really talked to me about what love was or how I would know if I fell in love. I think they were saving that talk for when I was older; I imagine that your parents were as ambiguous about such things, but then you found Emmett."

"So you thought I could share with you what your parents didn't." Her tone was little harsh as she made her statement, but I couldn't tell if she was offended by my questions or if her comment was meant to be sarcastic.

"Well, I did hope that you might be able to shed some light on the subject for me."

"Why did you ask me? Why didn't you ask Emmett or Carlisle or even Esme?"

"Maybe because you were the first one I saw while I was thinking about this, but partly because of what you did for Emmett. You must have really loved him to risk such a thing. I mean, he could have pushed away from you and hated you because of the change. You took a big risk, so you must have felt something extremely strong in order to risk losing him if it had ended differently."

Rose's look turned serious for a moment, and then she gave a slight laugh. "You know, I never thought about that before. You're right; he could have reacted as violently toward me as I did toward you and Carlisle because of being changed. I guess I loved him so much that I never thought about the negative side of what I was doing."

At that moment, I reached into her mind to discover what she was thinking. I was surprised to find her somewhat upset and shocked that it might all have turned out differently if Emmett hadn't loved her as much as she loved him, but she found it funny that she had never considered that possibility before. Then she tossed the thought aside as she decided there was no way Emmett couldn't have fallen in love with her because of how beautiful she was.

"Edward," she pulled me back to the moment, "why are you really asking me these questions? You're not falling in love with _that_ human, are you?" She seemed appalled at the fact that I might be in love with Bella.

"What would be wrong with it if I were?" I felt my defenses rising. I – who had never felt that type of love for anyone – had just as much right to fall in love as the rest the family, and Bella being human wasn't that big of an obstacle, or so I thought at the time.

"Edward, she's human. You can't be in love with a human." She sounded shocked.

"Why not, you were." I retorted.

"That was different. I knew he was dying and that I would force Carlisle to change him if I had to. Are you willing to do that?" She asked and then another thought crossed her mind, 'Would I have changed him if he hadn't been dying?' She didn't answer because once again she decided it was irrelevant and pushed the thought aside.

"Why would I need to? Her life isn't in danger, and she's not likely to be mauled by a bear anytime soon."

"That's not the point. Vampires and humans only have one type of relationship, and you've already developed that relationship with her. How can you even think about love when all you desire is her blood?"

Rose had no idea how wrong she was. I did want Bella but not just her blood, at least not any more. I surprised myself by realizing I wanted all of her. If that was love, I wondered, then how was I ever going to tell Bella how I felt, especially if she didn't feel the same way?

She must have seen something in my face because Rose blurted out angrily, "I can't believe it; you're in love with _that girl_! How could you allow that to happen, Edward? You've never really loved anyone before except for family, and now you're having romantic feelings and for a 'human' no less. Why _her_?" I heard Rose's unspoken 'and not me?' to the end of that question.

Before I realized what I was saying, I responded, "We were very close in the closet and something seemed to change. I think my feelings seemed to change, but I'm not sure what they changed into." I felt reluctant about telling her of the kiss Bella and I shared because it seemed too personal to share at that moment. In fact, I didn't intent to tell anyone about the kiss in the closet because I felt that moment really belonged to just Bella and me. Of course, I wasn't sure what Bella had told Alice while they were upstairs, but as they came down the stairs, I received no indication from Alice that Bella had mentioned the kiss.

A smirk appeared on Rose's face. The thought, 'How the mighty have fallen,' crossed her mind. "You are in love with her. It shows. I can hear it in your voice when you speak about her. So, what are you going to do about it?" Even without the knowledge about the kiss, Rose was positive that I was in love with Bella.

"Nothing," I replied. "What can I do? What if she doesn't feel the same about me? What if she rejects me because of what I am?"

Rose laughed, "Edward, if she disliked you for what you are, she wouldn't hang around with Alice or any of the rest of us, and she definitely wouldn't have wanted to be alone with you in the closet," and then her thoughts continued, 'How pathetic and blind men can be.'

"But she ran out of the closet crying. She can't think much of me."

Rose laughed again. "Edward, you have a lot to learn about women. They don't always cry because they're upset." Again, Rose's thoughts focused on how dense men were about women, and then she wondered exactly what had happened while we were in the closet that would cause 'the human' to cry.

"Then what was she crying about?" I was becoming more confused. Why couldn't Rose just explain to me how the female mind worked? I thought that would have made everything simpler. Besides, it couldn't be that complicated.

'Oh boy, anther ignorant male,' she thought before she replied, "Sometimes they cry because of what you didn't do or because of some off-handed remark. Heck, it could be as simple as the fact that Emmett interrupted something and she felt embarrassed." She emphasized the last part almost as if she were implying that something might have happened that I hadn't told her about.

Well, she was right about that, but I still didn't plan to tell her or anybody else what happened. I wanted to keep this personal experience quiet especially if it had been offensive to Bella. Maybe she hadn't wanted me to kiss her even though she had implied otherwise, so I was back to the same dilemma – what do I do about it and am I in love with her?

"So how will I know what she feels?" I finally asked,

'I can't believe. For someone who thinks he knows everything, he hasn't figured this out,' from her thoughts it was obvious Rose didn't think highly of my mental ability. Rose informed me, "You'll never find out unless you ask her."

I had to admit, I was afraid to ask because if she rejected me I didn't think I would be able to handle it. "Rose, I've never been in love before, but if this is how being in love feels, then I think I would rather be dead."

"Edward," Rose laughed, "you're already dead." She paused a moment and then with a slight laugh added, "This is really hard for you. You can't read her mind, so you have no advantage over the situation." She laughed even louder as she continued. "Now you know how the rest of us feel all the time."

I growled slightly in frustration; she really enjoyed rubbing in the fact that I was as limited as she was because I couldn't just listen to Bella mind and as a result, I had no idea of what to say or do next. It was bad enough that the fact frustrated me, but it was even worse discovering that Rose found the entire situation funny.

Rose suddenly became serious and offered, "As I see it, you have two choices in front of you. You can sulk about being love sick while wondering if she loves you or you can I can find out if she feels the same way. The choice is yours. Think about it." With that, she got up and left chuckling as she entered the house and called, "Hey Emmett, guess what?"

I growled under my breath because I knew she would instantly share everything with Emmett and maybe even Alice, but just then, Alice walked out and sat down beside me.

"Edward, what did you do to Bella in the closet? She was devastated afterward."

I wasn't sure how to answer Alice's questions, so I asked one of my own. "What did she say I did?"

"That's the problem; she didn't say anything. She just cried until she calmed down. Her only comment after that was that you hated her. So again I'll ask; what did you do to her in the closet?" Alice was pressing hard, and she was upset with me because I made Bella cry.

How could kissing her translate into hating her? I was more confused than ever before. Maybe Bella hadn't wanted me to kiss her, but it had felt like she kissed me back. As I recalled the kiss, I remembered her drawing closer to me and putting her arms around my neck, and she definitely kissed me back.

Then I wondered if Alice had seen anything in one of her visions. "What did you see happening in the closet?" I asked.

Alice looked down at her feet and I could tell she was hesitant to admit what she had seen. It didn't take long for me to discover her vision of Bella and I kissing, but the vision was vague and all it showed was a friendly kiss, not the rather passionate one we actually shared.

"Oh, come on Edward, I had already seen you would kiss her, but there had to be more than that to cause her to be as upset as she was." She retorted as she remembered how innocent and harmless the kiss had looked in her vision.

"No Alice, I only kissed her." I had absolutely no intention of telling her how I kissed Bella, and I was surprised she had seen any of it because it wasn't as if I had planned it; it had been more of a spur of the moment decision or maybe more of a 'we got carried away' moment.

"Neither of you said anything to the other while you were in there?" She probed.

"Actually, I asked her if she was afraid of me, but she said no, just that she wondered if I would kiss her. I told her I wouldn't if she didn't want me to. She said she wanted me to, so I did, and then Emmett knocked on the door and interrupted us." I gave her the roughest sketch possible.

"And you didn't say anything else before or after kissing her?"

"Well . . . yes. Afterwards I apologized for kissing her."

"Why? Didn't you mean to kiss her?" She asked while her mind yelled, 'How could you kiss her if you didn't mean it?'

"I did mean it, but I felt I had been inappropriate, so I apologized."

"Edward, she wouldn't think you hated her if you only kissed her and then apologize. So, what did you say exactly?"

"What do you mean she wouldn't think I hated her?" Where had that thought come from, I asked myself. I had never said anything about hating her and how could she possible conceive an apology as a statement of hate.

"It's what she told me just now. She said she knew that you hated her and that she couldn't face you again. I reassured her numerous times that you didn't hate her, but she doesn't convince easily. When she makes her mind up about something even if it is based on some fallacy or misconception, it seems to be set in stone for her."

"I honestly never told her I hated her, Alice." I definitely didn't understand the female mind. Sure, I could hear the thoughts of thousands of females, but that didn't translate into understanding how or why they thought some of the things that they did think. Carlisle once claimed that it was a genetic thing and that unless I could exchange one of my x chromosomes for a y, I would be as confused as all other men, minder reader or not. Maybe he was right.

"So tell me exactly what you said that caused her to believe that you hated her." Alice's look warned me not to omit anything.

I thought back to that moment and then replied, "I simply said, 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen.'"

"How could you Edward?" She accused. 'That was definitely the worst thing to say. Men can be so stupid at time!' Her exasperation was quite evident even without being able to hear her thoughts.

"How could I what? And I'm not stupid!" I couldn't understand why Alice thought it was wrong. I hadn't meant to kiss Bella with so much feeling, and I think I might have held her too tight, not that I didn't thoroughly enjoy it, but that was beside the point. I really wouldn't mind repeating that kiss if I could be sure that I wouldn't harm her. Then I wondered why girls were so vague about what they meant, and instead of waiting for her to reply, I just looked into her thoughts.

'How could he say that? It would sound like he regretted kissing her. That kissing her was a dreadful mistake. No wonder she was so upset. Men can be so dense at times.'

"That's enough Alice," I cautioned.

She narrowed her eyes as she responded, "It's not fair that you can pick through a person's mind and not be held accountable for invasion of privacy, but now that you have; tell me, did you mean the implication behind your words. Were you sorry that you kissed her?"

"No, what I meant was I was apologizing for any pain I might have caused her. I think I might have held her too tightly."

"Edward, I think you should go and tell her that you don't hate her. Explain to her what you meant. She won't stop crying until she knows you don't hate her." Her thoughts took a slight turn as she pondered, 'Hmm, he was holding her while he kissed her. I wonder how he kissed her.'

I didn't want her thoughts to wander any further so I asked, "She's still crying?" I didn't understand why she would be crying. Of course, I also didn't understand how she could have misunderstood what I meant when I apologized. I was beginning to realize that girls were more complicated than I first imagined. It was no wonder that Jasper and Emmett complained a lot about Rose and Alice and how they couldn't understand what they wanted or what they meant. Females, especially those in my own family, I decided, enjoyed making life difficult for me.

For the first time, I realized Jasper and Emmett both needed my sympathy rather than my condemnation for being thickheaded and unfeeling. How could any man understand what a girl was thinking unless he could read her mind? It seemed that girls never really told the truth; they just expected you to understand how they felt. If it wasn't for being able to read minds, I wouldn't have been able to smooth out a lot the arguments between my so-called brothers and sisters. Now, with the advent of Bella, I was finally realizing how hard it really could be to sort out a girl's mind when you couldn't read it.

If that was how things really worked, then I figured Alice was right – I would have to go to Bella and explain to her what I had meant. I would have to tell her that I enjoyed the kiss – but maybe refrain from telling her that I would like to repeat it – and that I had only been concerned that I might have hurt her while holding her.

"Alright," I finally replied, "I'll go up and talk to her, but I hope I don't make things worse than they already are. It's not like I can tell what she's thinking."

"Welcome to the normal world of men who have to figure it out for themselves," Alice snickered.

**AN: Without comments, I'm not sure if anyone wants me to take the time to continue this story. Please, let me know by reviewing if I should continue.**

**Edited 3/27/2009**


	10. Chapter 10 Still Confused

**AN: I still do not own these characters. There seem to be a few people still interested in this story, so I guess I will continue for awhile. Thanks for the reviews, those few of you who take to time to actually let me know what you think of the story, it helps to let me know that someone will read this if it is continued.**

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**Journal Entry Seven – Still Confused 1958**

No matter what anyone else might say, it is not easy to approach someone who you suspect you're falling in love with and telling her how you feel especially when you believe that person wants nothing more to do with you. It becomes even harder when you realize this person is the most perfect and beautiful woman you have ever met, and if it is even possible, you would literally feel like you were walking on air if she reciprocated your feelings even minimally, but I feared there was no way Bella could even slightly return any feelings but loathing and dread because of what I was. Walking up to the room in which I knew she was weeping profusely was the hardest thing I ever had to face in my unnaturally extended existence.

Once outside the bedroom door, I knocked lightly and asked, "Bella, may I come in?"

I heard her soft sobbed reply, "Yes."

I entered the room slowly unsure of what I should say. If Alice was correct, then I was the cause of the tears Bella was shedding and I had no idea how I had caused them or what I could do to stop them. I also noticed a slight heightening of her scent so I knew she was also blushing. As I approached the bed, her heart began to race more than usual, which caused me to stop where I was because I didn't want to scare Bella any more than she was already.

"May I speak to you a moment?" I asked from my position in the middle of the room.

"Would you like to sit down? You don't have stand, unless you're more comfortable that way," she replied as she sat up.

I laughed slightly at the thought that standing for me wouldn't be any less comfortable than sitting, but I saw a chair near the bed, so I walked over to it and sat down.

"I want to apologize," I began, "for upsetting you earlier. I never meant to say anything that would upset you. When we were in the closet . . ."

"No," she interrupted, "please, what happened wasn't your fault. It was mine." She pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around her legs, and laid her chin on top of her bent knees.

"No, I assure you the fault was all mine. Alice told me that I upset you by what I said." I really wanted to apologize, but it was as if Bella was determined to take all the blame.

"Edward," she voice seemed breathless, but as my name rolled off her lips, it sounded so perfect, "I know why you have been avoiding me and I want . . . no, I need to let you know I understand and I will make it easier for you in the future."

"I don't . . ." I began but she held up a hand to stop me and then wrapped it around her knees again.

"Please, Edward, let me finish. This is going to be hard enough without being interrupted." Her voice was extremely low, and I could hear the tension and pain behind her words.

I decides to let her talk while I just listened and I hoped it would answer some of question that plagued me.

"Alice told me about your ability. I know that you can hear what everyone thinks. I have really tried to keep my thoughts to myself, but I know I have failed. That is why you have been avoiding me; they disgust you but I can't help the way I feel. Alice and Emmett keep telling me to wait, that things will change, but I'm positive now that nothing will change. What you said is proof of what I have been feeling, what I have tried to tell them but they won't listen. I'm going to make it easier for you and you won't have to worry about me being around so much. From now on, I'll keep my distance so you won't have to run off. I've even decided to break off my friendship with your sister and brothers," her voiced hitched in a small sob as she spoke, "I won't . . . come over . . . anymore . . . that will make it . . . even easier . . ." her speech was quickly breaking up as she was trying to hold back the sobs I knew where building. She finally buried her face in her knees and I could smell the tears she had been trying to hold back.

I reached out and laid my hand on her arm but withdrew it quickly as I felt her flinch at my touch. This wasn't going well for me; she was rejecting me before I could even tell her how I felt. In fact, she was even rejecting my family because of me.

"Bella," I said softly, "Do you dislike me so much that you would hurt Alice's feelings by staying away from her." I knew Bella's rejection would hurt Alice the most. Alice did not take friendship lightly.

"Edward," she said through her sobs, "you know I don't dislike you. You know . . . exactly how . . . I feel . . . that's why you said . . . you . . . said . . ." but she could not get past that as she broke down in deep sobs and her tears increased.

"I think there is some misunderstanding, Bella." I had to restrain myself from reaching out to touch her. For some reason all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and hold her as close as possible without hurting her. What I couldn't understand was how she came up with the idea that I disliked her. In a desperate attempt to make sense of what she meant, I asked, "Why would you think I dislike you?"

I could still smell her tears, but the deep sobs slowed as she said, "You stopped coming to my room; you leave every time I enter the room, and even though you've heard my thoughts, you've never responded to them accept for that moment in the closet and then you regretted that afterwards."

This time I did reach out and touch her arm without breaking the contact. I needed her to understand why I stopped visiting her room. "Bella, it isn't right for me to take your blood; I could hurt you in the process without meaning to so I've made myself stop. I've been avoiding you because your scent pulls on my thirst so I've tried to do what was possible so I wouldn't be tempted. As to your thoughts," was it possible they hadn't told her, "Bella, your thoughts belong to you."

"It's okay Edward, as I said; Alice explained it all to me. I understand and I don't blame you; you can't help overhearing, but I'm sorry they have offended you so."

I notice she was not pulling away from my touch, so that encouraged me some, but her comment confused me. "Bella, Alice told you I can hear what people are thinking, but didn't she tell you that it's different with you?"

"Different?" She asked.

"Yes, for some reason I can't hear anything that you are thinking. Bella, I have never meet anyone whose mind I couldn't hear until I met you. There is something different about you, and whatever it is, it keeps me from hearing anything you might be thinking." I heard a sharp intake of breath and watched as Bella lifted her head and looked toward me. In this light, I wasn't sure if she could see me, so I moved to sit next to her on the bed hoping not to upset her by being so close. I then reached out, unclasped her hands and took them into mine, at the same time she moved into a sitting position with her legs hanging off the end of the bed but her upper body turned toward me. "Bella, I've never been able to hear your thoughts," I said softly.

Again, she drew a deep breath as she looked into my eyes and asked, "Never?" To which I just nodded my head. "Why?" She asked.

I smiled slightly as I replied, "I don't know why, just that even if I try to focus on hearing you I can't."

"But Alice and Emmett said . . ." she began but abruptly stopped.

"They said what, Bella?" It was frustrating to know she was thinking something but holding it back.

"Why didn't they tell me?" She asked probing me with her look.

"I don't know. What have they been telling you Bella?" I squeezed her hands just slightly trying to encourage her to share her thoughts with me.

"It doesn't matter," she pulled her hands free, turned from me as she pulled up her knees again and wrapped her arms once again them. I recognized it as a gesture of shutting me out, and I felt a sharp pang in my chest. "It doesn't change anything," she concluded.

"Why Bella, what doesn't it change?" Was there more she wasn't telling me, and she still hadn't told me what Emmett and Alice had been telling her.

"It's okay Edward, I understand. I'll go home in the morning and you won't have to tolerate my presence anymore expect the occasional times we might pass each other in the hallway; I promise that I'll keep my distance as much as possible." Her voice was tight, as if she has trying hard to keep it under control.

"You don't want to see me anymore?" I felt as if someone had squeezed all the air out of my lungs, and the strange ache in my chest increased.

"It'll make it easier for you," she whispered.

"What about Alice, Jasper, and Emmett; don't you want them as friends anymore?" I never wanted this from her; I wanted to see her even more now than ever before, but if she didn't want me around her, then I would have to accept that. It would deeply hurt to lose her, but it was her choice; however, that didn't mean she had to stop being friends with my brothers and sister.

She must have been trying hard not to cry, but a soft sob escaped as she replied, "I really like them, but I'll do whatever will make this easier for you."

More than anything I wanted to tell her that taking her in my arms and kissing her again would make it easy for me; having her tell me that she loves me would make everything much easier for me and being with her forever would make it easier for me. This is what I wanted to tell her, but I felt she was pulling away from me – more than likely because of what I was.

I was finding rejection harder to understand and accept than the new feelings I'd had earlier. One thing that was becoming clearer to me was that I loved her; in fact, I was beginning to believe that I loved her more than I imagined I would ever be capable of loving anyone. I recalled the kiss we had shared and couldn't understand how she could have kissed me like that if she felt nothing for me. "Bella, the kiss, did it mean nothing to you?"

"I pushed you into it, and that wasn't right. I should never have . . . well it doesn't matter. Let's just say I learned an important lesson tonight," and she let out a heavy sigh that only intensified her heavenly aroma.

Her words and her heightened scent left me confused, and I was finding it more frustrating than ever that I couldn't just hear what she was thinking. I wasn't use to this; in the past, I knew ahead of time what people were going to say before they said it because they thought it through in their mind first, but not Bella, I had no idea of what she was thinking or feeling.

Once again, it frustrated me not knowing what she was leaving unsaid, so I asked, "And just what lesson was that?"

She took a deep breath before she replied, "Well, let's just say I've learned not to believe what everyone else is telling me."

I figured she was referring to the fact that no one bothered to tell her that I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I wasn't sure how that related to the kiss in the closet. It was also making no sense as to why she thought I disliked her if I could have been hearing her thoughts. It made me begin to wonder just what kind of thoughts she believed I had heard. Had she been regretting ever agreeing to go with me on that first day? Maybe she regretted becoming embroiled with a family of vampires and she had been thinking of how to extract herself from us.

I attempted to reach out to touch her again but this time she pulled away from me. Maybe contact with me offended her as much as the kiss must have even though she had responded to it.

I pulled my hand back quickly. "I'm sorry Bella. I'll try not to upset you anymore; I just want to understand. It was wrong of Alice not to explain about my ability and how it didn't work the same with you, but please don't be upset with her for not telling you."

"I'm not upset with her. She must have had a reason even though I don't know what it was." Bella tilted her head slightly and the sliver of light coming through the crack in the partially opened door shone upon her countenance. She was staring straight ahead deep in thought. "Maybe she hoped I would say or do something that would . . ." Again she broke off without finishing what she was going to say. She left so much unsaid. Did she think she would say something that might upset me?

As I stared at her, the light caused her face to shine. I felt as if I was looking into the face of an angel and all I desired was to take her angelic face between my two alabaster hands, pull it toward me, and lock my lips onto hers. I wanted to experience the ecstasy of her heightened aroma as we kissed, the heat of her glowing cheeks, and the sweet taste of her flushed lips. As those thoughts fueled my desire I leaned toward her, "Bella," I whispered as I blew my breath into her face, "What thoughts were you afraid I heard that you believed made me dislike you?"

Her only response was to sigh heavily.

"Bella," I leaned closer to her, "I really cannot hear your thoughts. If you don't tell me what is going through your mind, I'll never be able to figure out what has you so upset. I really never meant to do anything to upset you, really I didn't," I assured her hoping she might finally open up to me.

I heard her heart thump faster as she finally looked up at me. There was such sadness in her eyes, but I didn't know what to do to make it go away. I tried to wait patiently for her to speak, but patience was not one of my strengths. Once again, I realized how much easier this would have been if I could have just heard what she was thinking. Finally, I reached over and laid my hand on her arm. "Bella, I won't hurt you or get upset with you. I just want to know what you're thinking and feeling at this very moment."

"You might become very upset with me because of what I've been thinking. In fact, it might even offend you. I know you have been avoiding me, and I thought you were staying away from me because you could hear my thoughts, but even without hearing my thoughts, maybe the reason you have been avoiding me is still the same."

"I can't agree or disagree until you tell me why you think I have been avoiding you." I kept a hold of her arm enjoying the physical contact and the heat that was radiating off her skin. With just a hint of encouragement, I would gladly wrap both of my frigid rock-hard but loving arms around her small lusciously warm delicate frame.

"You'll just get upset with me, and I don't want you to hate me," she murmured softly as she tried to avoid my eyes.

I could smell the renewed salty build up of tears and more than anything, I didn't want to be the cause of her crying yet again. "I promise not to get upset, and I doubt if I will hate you no matter what you say."

"You were upset in the closet though."

"No, Bella, I wasn't upset. Why would you think that?"

"Because of what you said," she replied with a slight sob and I knew the tears were not far behind.

Maybe Alice was right, maybe Bella misunderstood what I had said, but there was only one way I would find out the truth because I finally accepted the fact that Bella did not intend to reveal her thoughts to me at that time. I placed my finger under her chin and gently lifted it so I could look into her eyes as I quietly explained, "Bella, I was only trying to apologize for hurting you."

"You didn't hurt me. Why would you think that?" This time she looked deeper into my eyes as if she were trying to find a truth that I might be hiding from her.

"Sometimes, Bella, I don't know my own strength, and if I'm not fully aware of what I am doing, I can unintentionally harm any human. I forgot myself in the closet when I held you and I was afraid I might have held you too tightly and hurt you."

"You didn't regret kissing me?" A larger sob escaped her lips this time.

"No Bella, I didn't regret that," with a slight smile I added, "I'll never regret that. All I regret is that I might have squeezed you too tightly. The last thing I would ever want to do is to take you to Carlisle and try to explain why I had bruised or broken your ribs." I chuckled slightly at the image of me trying to explain to Carlisle how I had been 'carried away' by a simple kiss without telling him that the kiss had possibly altered my entire world.

"Was kissing me funny?" This time instead of a sob, there was a touch of pain behind her words.

"No, it wasn't but envisioning myself attempting to explain to Carlisle how and why I had hurt you without embarrassing myself and maybe you at the same time, that was what made me laugh. I could just see the look of surprise on his face when he found out I had actually kissed a girl."

"It wasn't the first time for you, I'm sure." There seemed to be a bit of sarcasm behind her words as a frown formed on her lips.

"Yes it was. Do you think I'm in the habit of kissing every girl I meet?" I didn't mean to sound harsh, but to my ears, the words seemed to have a bite to them. I had to make sure she knew I wasn't upset with what she had said. "Whether you believe this or not, you are the first girl I have ever kissed. I never felt a desire to kiss anyone before now."

"Really?" I could hear the skepticism in her voice.

I took a deep breath as I decided I would be more than honest with Bella, I would be honest and above board with my actions. "I am not like Emmett and Jasper. I have never found anyone that I ever had the slightest inclination to kiss, and I definitely don't kiss girls just because of some game. I guess you could say this is the first real kiss I have ever shared with anybody. I have kissed Esme and my sisters on the cheek before, but that was just kissing family nothing else."

"Oh," was all she managed to say as she gazed more deeply into my eyes.

I'm not sure why, but I found myself grabbing both her arms as I turned her body to face me, and still holding her arms so she could not turn away, I said, "Bella, I've never felt like this before. That kiss in the closet was amazing. In fact, I think I still want to," and with that I pulled her into an embrace and kissed her again.

Just before I released her, I heard her whimper slightly. I felt abdominal for treating her in such a cavalier manner, and then I wondered if I might have unintentionally hurt her yet again.

Once again, I found myself apologizing, "I'm sorry Bella; that was wrong of me and I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me Edward," she replied as she drew back slightly.

I thought she was pulling away from me, so I released her, as I beseeched, "Please don't be upset with me."

I was surprised when she responded, "Why would I be upset?"

"Well, that was rather bold and forward of me. I never even considered if I would offend you by being so brash," I offered somewhat apologetically but wondered if just maybe she had enjoyed the kiss because I finally noticed that her eyes were somewhat glassed over and there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Edward, I've never considered you brash. If you kissed me because you wanted to, then I'm okay with that. I just don't understand why you would want to kiss me." The honesty and truth in her reply were evident not only in her voice but also in her eyes.

Her comment shocked me. Every boy in school wanted to kiss her, why would she think I would be different. "I'm not sure I understand Bella. Why shouldn't I want to kiss you?"

"Well just look at me!" she nearly yelled as she threw up her hands breaking my hold on her. Then she quickly lowered her arms and amended, "I take that back, don't look at me," and she quickly crossed her arms over her chest.

It suddenly dawned on me that I was sitting on the bed with Bella and all she was wearing were her pajamas; although, it wasn't the first time I had seen her in them. The difference was this time her blankets didn't hide most of her, and I was not sneaking in with my mind focused only on her blood.


	11. Chapter 11 Bella's Revelation

**AN: Sorry for the delay, and to help ease the waiting, I will post the next chapter tomorrow. None of the characters belong to me.**

**Bella's Revelation Summer 2007**

I had just finished writing about the night of Bella's birthday when her lovely fragrance informed me she had walked into the room. I felt her lips on the back of my neck just before she asked, "What are you doing?"

"Just some writing," I wasn't ready to tell her about the journal I was keeping, but I also didn't want to lie to her.

"Anything interesting?" She ran her hand across my shoulder and then sat down in a chair near the desk where I was sitting.

I laid my pen down and turned my chair toward her. "Just some memories." I took her hands in mine and pulled her onto my lap while wrapping my arms around her.

"What kind of memories?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around my neck, cuddled close, and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Well, I was thinking about the first time we met and how some things didn't turn out the way I planned." I held her closer and drank in her scent. She still smelled more pleasing than anyone else ever could and the desire it created was for things other than her blood.

"I remember that day," she whispered into my ear and then bit it lightly.

"You're not supposed to remember much of your human life. Didn't you read Twilight; Stephenie said we didn't remember much of our human lives, and for most transformed vampires that is somewhat true."

"But not for me, I remember it all. Besides, how could I ever forget anything that had to do with you? It was my first day of school and I saw you across the cafeteria. I felt drawn to you as if you were a huge magnet drawing me to you. More than anything, I wanted to walk over to your table and talk to you. I wanted you to notice me, and I wanted you to like me. The first thing I notice was how gorgeous you were, and I knew you would never look in my direction because I was nothing special." Her lips were still right by my ear and I could feel her breath flowing across it as she spoke.

"You were always special," I interrupted because I wanted to reassure her of how very special she was to me.

She pulled away slightly and just put her fingers on my lips to stop me. Then she rested her head back on my shoulder, placed her lips near my ear again, and continued in a soft, sultry voice. "It was worse when I saw you in gym. I dreaded that class because of my clumsiness. I didn't want you to laugh at me, or think 'What a klutz she is.' Then when the teacher made us partners, I felt as if I could crawl into a hole, curl up, and die."

I smiled at her and drew designs on her back as she shared her memories with me. I avoided interrupting her because she had already silenced me once. Over the years, I have learned to heed most of Bella's warnings. Besides, I loved the sound of her voice, and I was extremely content to sit quietly with her in my arms while I listened to her reminisce.

"I just knew I was going to embarrass myself and step on your feet. I had never been able to dance, and there you were, the most gorgeous person I had ever seen, and my heart jumped in my chest, and then you touched me. I felt a surge of electricity shot through my body, and I almost felt frozen in place. You're lucky I was able to make my feet move, let alone force my body to follow my feet."

I couldn't suppress the chuckle that had built up, and as it escaped, Bella pulled slightly away to gaze into my eyes.

"Are you making fun of me?" She challenged but since I didn't want to offend her, I replied, "No, it's just that I felt that same electrical charge, and I still feel those electrifying tingles at times. I never imagined that you would have those same feelings."

"Well, I did and I must admit I still do, but I didn't know, back then, that you felt the same way. When you asked to drive me home, I was thrilled." I watched as her face first lit up with a huge smile and then quickly drain of enthusiasm as she frowned and said, "Then I saw Alice kissing you, and I thought maybe you were just teasing me, but you had made the comment about not having a girlfriend, so I thought that maybe I had a chance." She sighed as she laid her head back on my shoulder. "You don't know how dejected I felt when I discovered all you wanted was my blood, but I had decided if it made you happy I would relinquish all of it to you. Without meaning to, I had already fallen in love with you. It was hopeless, I thought, but there was nothing I could do to change the way I felt about you."

"I didn't help any when I drove you home in silence, but to clarify part of that event I must tell you I was shocked and somewhat confused by the fact that you remembered what had happened considering any other human would have forgotten the event because I would have been able to 'dazzle' the memory from their mind."

"Poor Edward; I didn't cooperate did I?" She murmured. "I guess I was an enigma to you. Everything you had known about humans just wasn't true about me."

"You have that right. You remembered the things you should have forgotten, your mind was, and still is, closed off to me, and you had the most captivating seductive scent I had ever encountered. Not to mention, the aroma as well as the taste of you blood was exceedingly addictive. No matter how much I promised myself I would stay away from you, your scent lured me back."

"Well, it didn't help that Alice, Emmett, and Jasper did everything they could to throw us together. In fact, they were the ones who kept my hopes kindled. They kept telling me that you liked me, but that you were just too shy to admit the fact." She gently kissed my neck and then began running her hand across my check. "The things they encouraged me to do made me blush more than I thought possible."

This was enlightening to me; I had suspected my brothers and sister had tried to manipulate a relationship between us, but I never knew the full extent of it before. I was intrigued to discover more, so I asked, "And just what did they encourage you to do."

"Well, remember that day I came up to your locker and I mentioned how I dreamt about someone coming into my room?"

"How could I forget?" She had surprise me with her blunt comment; it hadn't been like her to be that forward and it bothered me because it just didn't fit into who I thought she was at that time.

"Well, it was Emmett who told me what to say. He said I needed to flirt a little more to show you I was interested, but the look on your face told me how wrong it was to say that to you. In that instant, I was sure you hated me and wanted nothing else to do with me. I felt I had done the worst possible thing, and it would only put a bigger chasm between us. I went home after school and cried for over an hour. I did decide, however, that it would be the last time I would ever take advice from Emmett, and I had almost decided to move to my grandparents over the summer and stay with them to finish school."

That piece of information took me by complete surprise. "You planned on leaving me?" I had pulled her away so I could watch her eyes. I had discovered over time that Bella's eyes told more about her than anything else. Because I couldn't read her mind, I had learned to read her wonderfully expressive eyes. As I looked deep into them, I saw she was telling the truth. "Bella, how could you harbor such a wounding thought?"

"I thought it would be in your best interest. I wouldn't have bothered you anymore, even though I would have been heartbroken to leave you, but it was what I thought you wanted even though Alice and Emmett assured me that you wanted me around. I, on the other hand, had construed that you had been avoiding me because I was abhorrent, and you would be relieved if I vacated the vicinity. Besides, I hadn't learned yet that you couldn't hear my thoughts. I figured you were sick of being swooned over by a love sick teenager."

I pulled Bella close as I wrapped my arms around her and said, "I had no idea what I wanted at that time, and if I had been able to hear your delicious thoughts maybe I would have realized sooner how I really felt. As to leaving me, I would have found a way to keep you around," just before I crushed her lips with mine. 'Once again, I might have lost her,' the thought shocked me. Even then, life without Bella was unthinkable; at that time, I hadn't realized I loved her, but I knew the attraction was much stronger than just her blood, only I wouldn't have admitted it then. It hadn't been until that birthday party and the kiss that I started re-evaluating all my feelings about Bella. I need to remember to thank Alice for that party because without it I could have lost her forever.

"You know," Bella murmured right after I released her lips, "I never did properly thank Alice for that birthday party."

Her comment shocked me following so soon after my thought of thanking Alice. "Bella, can you hear what I'm thinking?" She had never mentioned hearing the thoughts of others before, but there were times when I wondered if she could but she kept it to herself.

"That kiss made me think about that party. I felt so embarrassed, and if I had known ahead of time what she had planned, I would never have come over, but in the end it was well worth the humiliation." Bella pulled away again to look me in the eyes. "Why would you think I could hear your thoughts?"

I chuckled softly as I replied, "Because I was just thinking that I needed to thank Alice for giving you the party. It was that party that changed everything for us, without it we might have lost each other because I my slowness at recognizing my own newly developing feelings."

"That kiss was so amazing. I had dreamt about you kissing me, but never in any of them did I react as I had in your closet. When your tongue touched me lips, I just grabbed a hold of you tighter and pulled myself as close to you as possible. I was just getting ready to open my mouth and allow our tongues to touch when Emmett knocked on the door." Bella leaned in near my ear and her breath softly caressed it as she murmured, "He nearly scared me to death. Maybe if he had, you would have changed me right then, or maybe not, but I was sure he knew exactly what was happening, and then you uttered those words that ruined the entire event for me," and she bit my ear, harder this time then before.

"Ouch! Bella, that hurt."

"Good," she pulled away from me again so I could see her face. "That was horrible of you to say; I felt as if you had slapped me in the face with those cruel unfeeling words. What made it even worse was the humiliation I felt because I really did think Emmett knew exactly what we had done. I figured he could hear us through the door and that's why he knocked."

"Is that why you ran out crying?" After all this time, she was finally telling me the truth – I could see the truth in her extremely expressive eyes.

"Partially," she replied with hesitancy.

"Bella," I crooned, "Please tell me the rest."

"I thought . . . well, I know now it wasn't true, but . . . at the time . . . I really thought you had all planned this out to humiliate me . . . or make fun of me. I figured Emmett and you would laugh about what had happened, and then you would tell Alice and Jasper and they would laugh with you." She had hung her head as she spoke and wouldn't allow me eye contact.

I put my finger under her chin and gently tilted her face up. "Bella, I never told anyone what happened in the closet, although I suspect Alice knew all along but she never admitted seeing the actual kiss."

She finally made eye contact as she replied, "She didn't see it."

"How do you know?" Alice never admitted one way or the other to me what she knew or saw about the incident, so how, I wondered, could Bella be so positive about what she said.

"She told me. After she followed me upstairs," she was still watching my eyes and they must have looked puzzled because she added, "You know, after Emmett opened the door and I ran away. She followed me. I had run to her bathroom because I didn't know where else to go. I had shut and locked the door, but that didn't deter Alice. She came right in, put her arm around my shoulder, and asked me what you had done that hurt me so much that I had run off crying. I remember laughing almost hysterically at her question because I was positive she would have seen what happened. She just patted my shoulder and said it couldn't have been that bad, you were a gentleman so she didn't believe you would have done anything to dishonor me – I laughed through my tears at that also. She finally grabbed my shoulders, shook my gently, and said, 'Please, Bella, tell me what he did that has caused you so much pain that you are crying hysterically.' I hadn't realized that my crying had been verging on hysterical, but her comment helped me to pull myself together a little and I said, 'You must have seen what happened. How could you have missed it?' She just shook her head and said,

'Whatever it was, the decision must have happened so fast because I saw nothing. I knew you two had talked, but I honestly found a way to distract myself so I didn't hear what either of you said. Then I noticed it became extremely quiet, so I thought the two of you were probably just standing there and staring at each other trying to decide what to do next. I almost laughed as I imagined the scene seeing the two of you looking awkward as you stared at each other, but I had hoped that maybe Edward would give you a little kiss, and then Jasper whispered something private to me and I got distracted. The next thing I knew, Emmett was opening the door, and then you came running out crying.'

I almost laughed when she said that because I knew it had been more than just a little kiss. I knew I would never forget that kiss, but I also resolved myself to the fact it would be the last time you would kiss me. Every time I thought about it, I knew I would remember your words afterwards, 'I didn't mean for that to happen.' When you said that, I instantly knew you regretted what happened, and if you could have pushed back time, you would have saved yourself the regret by avoiding that kind of contact with me. Just knowing you could kiss me like that and still regret the action ripped at my heart."

All the time she spoke, I watched the ripples of pleasure and pain cross her features. I had never imagined that I had caused her so much pain by apologizing, "But you did finally realize that the apology was for any hurt I might have caused as I held you rather than for the kiss." I took Bella's face between my hands as I whispered softly, "I never regretted that kiss," and then I kissed her as tenderly and deeply as I had that first time. It still amazed me that time had not minimized the affects of touching Bella. My body still tingled with electrical pulse whenever we touched or kissed. I still felt stimulated and aroused anytime I kissed her. Even her scent, although not the same as when she was human, still stimulated my senses in the most electrifying manner.

"Oh Bella," I began as I released her lips. She let out a slight chuckle and then silenced the rest of my comment by sealing her lips on mine and wrapped her arms tightly around me as I tenderly wrapped mine around her.

Our mutual stimulation pursuit might have continued and evolved had Alice's intrusion not interrupted us.

We were so consumed with our own pleasures, that neither of us heard Alice opening the door; it wasn't until she spoke that it finally registered that we were not alone.

"Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt" Alice giggled loudly so as to be heard, "but Esme sent me up to ask if either of you were planning going hunting with us, but I can see you two are rather busy."

"We were just talking about my sixteen birthday," Bella explained.

"It looks more like you were re-enacting that birthday . . . Oh, bye" Alice abruptly turned to leave before finishing her comment.

"Alice," I growled as I broke away from Bella's embrace and faced Alice's retreating back, "get your sorry carcass back here or I'll track you down and drag you back."

As I spoke, Alice thoughts were running through a multiplication exercise. 'Two times two is four, four times four is sixteen . . ."

Jasper came through the doorway before Alice could go out, no doubt because of the threat I threw at Alice.

"Calm down Edward," he drawled.

Without looking away from Alice, I replied, "I expect her to answer me Jasper," and then I address Alice, "What exactly aren't you saying Alice?"

"Nothing," she intoned but she was still trying to keep her mind focused on something else, 'thirty-two times thirty-two is one thousand twenty-four . . .'

"Stop multiplying Alice and explain what you meant by 're-enacting that birthday,' or should I just ask Jasper?" She had glanced at Jasper as I spoke so I knew he too knew what she was holding back.

"Look, Edward," Jasper spoke calmly and I could feel his influence filling the room while Bella placed her hand in my arm, "it's nothing to get upset about."

Stumbling for an explanation, Alice began, "Well, just that . . . there was . . . well . . . that incident . . . in the bedroom . . . you know . . . later that evening . . ."

"You're taking too long Alice, which means you're looking for something else to say. I want the truth, no more lies," despite Jasper's attempts at keeping me calm, I was beginning to seriously lose my temper, at the same time I felt Bella squeeze my arm and pull me back towards her. I hadn't realized I was advancing toward Alice until she did pull me back.

"Why is this so hard, Alice?" I growled as Bella kept a firm grip on my arm.

In a voice that was soothing and calmer than mine, Bella said, "It's okay Alice, you don't have to say anymore if you don't want to."

"Thanks Bella."

I knew Alice been doing something that would make me mad or else she wouldn't be trying to hide something. I began to wonder if Jasper also knew what she was hiding, but from him all I could garner was a sense of calm.

"Spill it Alice. You know I'll find out soon enough. Maybe I'll just ask Emmet what this is about." I growled but thought I was grasping at straws with the last comment until I noticed a slight flinch from Alice as I said it.

"Calm down, Edward," Bella leveled her smile at me; then she turned and with a congenial smile, beamed at Alice. "It's time to be honest Alice."

"You don't understand, Bella, he'll be . . . " Alice's mind was racing through synonyms for mad but rejected each one as to weak, then she finally settled on, "incensed."

Bella let go of my hand and swiftly walked over to Alice and hugged her. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Alice. It's just that he will find out anyway. Why don't you and Jasper find Emmett and wait for us in the living room. Edward and I have to talk first."

I glared as Alice and Jasper slipped quietly out the door while Alice's mind repeated, 'this won't be good . . . this won't be good . . .' I wasn't sure to what she was specifically referring but I definitely intended on finding out what she was hiding from me.

"Edward," her voice was soft as a whisper but the timbre was as hard as granite; it meant I had better pay attention because of its importance. "It's time to stop keeping secrets."


	12. Chapter 12 The Discovery

**AN: Once again, I don't own the characters.**

**Chapter Eight – The Discovery Summer 2008**

Bella stood near the door with her head down; I presume she knew I was keeping something from her, something Alice and the rest knew but that I hadn't felt desirous to share with her.

"Edward, I don't think we should ever keep secrets from each other . . ." Bella hesitated before finishing, "not for any reason. Would you agree with that?" She had moved slightly toward me and I could see doubt and a slight fear in her eyes.

I felt like a cad. Here I had been keeping a secret from her; I admit I was planning to share it with her but later on, now I realized I should have been open with her the entire time. "You're right Bella, I should have told you right at the beginning maybe even before I ever started, but I wanted to surprise you."

"It was a surprise, Edward, but that wasn't that secret I meant. It was the one I was keeping from you." She now kept her eyes averted.

Was she mad at me for keeping a secret or was there something else preventing her from looking me in the eyes? That question plagued me. "What secret could you possibly be keeping from me?" I moved swiftly toward her, placed my fingers under her chin, and tilted her head gently up until our eyes met. "You can tell me anything, Bella; I promise not to be upset."

Bella's eyes hungrily searched mine and she must have found what she was looking for because she finally murmured apprehensively, "I know about the journal you have been writing."

"You do?" I was surprised, but I realized I felt relieved by her admission. I was also curious about her reaction to what she had read. "Did you like it?"

"Edward," she gazed deeper into my eyes. "Aren't you even a little upset that I violated your trust?"

I caressed her chin, then leaned slowly forward, and gently kissed her before truthfully uttering an indisputable, "No."

"Why?"

At least she was keeping eye contact, and I felt that was a good sign. "It's your story Bella; I always meant to share it with you. You, more than anyone else, have right to see what is in it. I'm just wondering if you like anything that I wrote, or is it a poor reproduction of what really occurred?"

Bella caressed my cheek as she replied, "No, Edward, it was wonderful. I never saw any of what happened from your perspective and I think I understand why you tried so hard to avoid me. I always really believed it was because you never felt anything for me in the beginning; that the only interest you had in me was my blood. I never knew you hid your true feeling from even yourself. I also now understand why you seem to enjoy surprising me, and I promise from now on that I will try to be more open to your surprises. I never realized how much joy you received from being able to surprise me or how much my positive response intensified your joy. It is so sweet that you go to such great extents to find ways to bring me pleasure; it makes me love you even more knowing that you would exert that much energy on me."

As she spoke, she ran her finger around my lips sending shivery electrical surges throughout my body. Her touch was so electrifying that I suddenly swept her off her feet in tight embrace and locked my lips on hers in an attempt to drink her in; I wanted to taste ever flavor of her lips, her tongue, and her venom; all of which were sweet tantalizing ambrosia to my senses.

When I finally allowed her feet to settle on the floor again, she pulled herself just enough away from me to move her arms to my waist were they wrapped around me, and then asked, "What brought that on?"

"You are just the most wonderful person on this earth and the most precious gift I have ever been given. I would never want to do anything to lose you." I chuckled softly as I allowed my arms to wrap around her shoulders, "It's also my way of apologizing for keeping a secret from you."

"About that Edward, I have another confession to make," she buried her face against my chest. It was another gesture of hers indicating that she feared that I might be upset with her.

"You can tell me anything Bella; my world so tightly revolves around you that I don't think I could exist without you even if I tried, so being mad at you is definitely out of the question. Dismay yes, but never distressed." I kissed the top of her head to display my affection for her no matter what confession she might make next.

"Well, you never asked how I found out about the journal, so I'll just tell you," she paused for a moment and I heard her draw a deep unnecessary but habitual breath. "You started to spend more time by yourself in the bedroom, and when I would come in, you would quickly hide what you were doing. It scared me; I thought . . . well . . . I know this sounds foolish, but I really thought that just maybe you were writing . . . well . . . to some other woman." She pulled away from me slightly and looked up into my eyes. "At first it scared me because I thought you had become tired of me, and then I got really jealous." She shook her head slightly, "Oh, Edward, the things I wanted to do to the person I thought you were writing to; I never knew I could be so vengeful. I finally couldn't stop myself; I had to know who you were writing to, so one day I watched to see were you put your 'correspondence', as I referred to it, and after you left the house, I dug it out and read it." Her arms, which were wrapped around my waist, tightened their embrace and she rested her head against my chest. "I cried Edward. I felt so guilty about what I had been thinking and then I read all your beautiful words; I just hated myself for being so suspicious. I have so wanted to confess to you, and now I've been able to and I want you to know I am really sorry that I violated your confidence in me."

I chuckled softly as I moved my hands to her waist and lifted her so we were face to face. "Bella, my love, there will never be anyone who can ever replace you. I still fail to understand why you believe I could ever fall out of love with you. You are perfect for me; no one could ever be the other part of my soul, and no one could ever make me laugh the way you do."

Bella smiled as she chuckled, "Emmett makes you laugh just as much as I do."

"But he will never be as pretty as you," I replied just before I kissed her again. After I released her lips, I added, "And his lips will never touch mine."

"I'm very glad to hear that," she added and bit my ear lobe lightly. "As much as I would like to continue this talk, Edward, we do need to go downstairs. It's time for our siblings to unburden their consciences."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what they are going to confess, and I'm almost positive I will definitely be upset with what they have done," I replied as I looked deeply into her eyes.

"Edward, I want to you to look at this in perspective. Give them time to say what they need to say, do not yell at them right away, but afterwards, be magnanimous with your forgiveness," Bella ran her finger around my lips as she spoke and then caressed my cheek.

"I am going to be upset," I recognized this as her way of preparing me for the worst, and the request about being magnanimous was an apparent affirmation of that fact.

"Yes, but please, for me, try not to be," she leaned in and kissed me once more, then pulled slightly away and asked, "Would you put me down now."

My response was to pull her closer and kiss her deeper before releasing her lips and asking, "If I don't get visibly upset, will I be rewarded later?"

"In ways that might even surprise you," she replied with a tempting little smile.

I slowly lowered her to the floor, allowing her body to slide down mine while relishing the feel of her. As her feet touched the floor, she pulled and turned from me, but I caught her wrist and whispered, "I'll hold you to that." Then I let her go and followed her down stairs where I discovered all my siblings seated around the massive sectional sofa.

I am condensing this little fiscal down into a very brief entry, but I mention it because of some problems that arose.

When we reached the living room, I found a seat on the sectional but sat Bella on my lap. I had a feeling I was going to need her close because the only coherent thoughts I could hear all dealt with 'he'll be mad,' 'he'll probably want to kill us all,' and 'we couldn't keep it a secret forever.'

As I pulled Bella into my lap, she took my hand and squeezed it meaning she was trying to encourage me to keep my temper.

Emmett was the first to confess he had read the journal I had been keeping, but when asked how he found it, he just hung his head and silently chanted, 'don't tell, don't tell.' It didn't take long for Alice to admit she was the first to find the journal. It seems she had seen me writing in the book, but her explanation as to why she saw that part of my future was rather hazy. Jasper's confession fell on the heels of Alice's admission. It looked as if Rose was the only sibling who hadn't read the journal I had been keeping about Bella, but then she hung her head and confessed her guilt, although she claimed she only read it to see what I had said about Emmett.

As each of my devious, mendacious, treacherous, soon to be annihilated siblings confessed their transgression, I felt Bella grip on my hand become firmer. After they had all finished, I was more than ready to lambast each of them for their violation of my privacy, but before I could utter one sound, Esme rounded the corner of the room and revealed that she too had read the journal. Of course, she claimed parental concern as her reason for reading it.

It seems she had seen each of my brothers and sisters stealing out of our room with the book partially hidden, except Emmett. It seems he boldly walked out of the room with the book in full view while whistling 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic.' She felt it wasn't right for someone to take personal items without asking, so she commandeered the book to see what personal information the others were collecting and how they planned to use it against me. She said she was delightfully surprised when she read the story of how Bella and I first met.

It was bad enough that everyone had violated my personal space and had discovered the secret of what happened in the closet, but it seemed there was still more disturbing news to be exposed. Emmett felt it was his duty to inform me that someone had not only read the journal, but had also taken the liberty to post the story on a fan fiction sight.

Despite the fact that both Jasper and Bella were striving to help me remain calm, that last piece of information hurtled me over the edge and I exploded. Talk about working up a good rant and rave, I really did. It wasn't that I felt like someone had attacked me, it felt as if someone had attacked Bella. They had put her life out into the public eye, and even though I had thought about that later on down the line, I would never have done something like that without first acquiring the her permission.

I methodically searched the minds of all my siblings but I found no clue to the guilty party.

* * *

After the talk Bella and I had in the bedroom and then the confrontation that occurred in the living room with my 'siblings', I put aside my journal of Bella's life, but not my diary, and had decided to shelf the journal indefinitely. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett, when Alice saw my reaction to what they had done, all declared it as a spoiled, pig-head tantrum on my part; I disagreed.

From my perspective, I felt hurt, cheated, lied too, and violated. It was one thing for Bella to read what had occurred between us, but I felt the intimacy of our feelings was not open to public scrutiny at that time, and still someone – although Emmett categorically claims he didn't do it – someone published the chapters of my diary and Bella's journal, some of which I had never intended to share with anyone except Bella. The fact that my secrecy had caused Bella momentary pain was extremely regrettable and had I even suspected as much, I would have confided in her immediately upon beginning the journal.

I do admit that I took up continuing the journal shortly after the controversy, and I shared it openly with Bella, but I had learned my lesson, and from that point on, Bella was in charge of secreting it where no one else would ever find it. Even I didn't know where she had it hidden, which is a good thing because I have no power to stop Alice from seeing into my future.

AN: This is where things stood until a few months ago when Bella finally persuaded me to continue with the story. It seems that Bella felt less offended by what happened than I; in fact, she was flattered that someone thought enough of 'our' story to post it on a site for everyone else to read. She also pointed out that now essentially was the best time to tell 'our story' because no one will believe it is true anyway.

She does have a point; with all the fan fiction stories written by fans, the absorption over the upcoming movie, and the release of the last book in the series, no one will believe this is anything but fiction, and that should work out perfectly because it will help keep our anonymity intact. Therefore, for those of you who have been reading this story, I am continuing with Bella's story.


	13. Chapter 13 What Happens Next

**AN: We do not own any of the characters; we do give credit to Stephenie Meyer for them.**

* * *

From Journal Entry Seven – in case anyone needs a reminder

"_If you kissed me because you wanted to, then I'm okay with that. I just don't understand why you would want to kiss me." The honesty and truth in her reply were evident not only in her voice but also in her eyes._

_Her comment shocked me. Every boy in school wanted to kiss her, why would she think I would be different. "I'm not sure I understand Bella. Why shouldn't I want to kiss you?"_

"_Well just look at me!" she nearly yelled as she threw up her hands breaking my hold on her. Then she quickly lowered her arms and amended, "I take that back, don't look at me," and she quickly crossed her arms over her chest._

_It suddenly dawned on me that I was sitting on the bed with Bella and all she was wearing were her pajamas; although, it wasn't the first time I had seen her in them. The difference was this time her blankets didn't hide most of her, and I was not sneaking in with my mind focused only on her blood. _

* * *

**Journal Entry Eight – What Happens Next? 1958**

That was my total epiphany moment. It was exactly then that I knew and accepted the fact that I loved Bella unconditionally. I was sure I loved her before when we were talking, but now I was completely positive – there was no lingering hint of doubt. From that moment on, I never looked at Bella as a tempting source of heavenly tasting blood, but as a tempting source of sensual physical desires that I was too much of a gentleman to pursue. Of course, I did not consider kissing, hugging, or cuddling off-limits as long as Bella had no aversion to them.

That moment was also the turning point of our relationship. As I stared at her, I saw her as a new kind of siren one who was calling out to me beginning with those red lusciously kissable lips.

"Bella," I found myself leaning toward her, "would you be offended if I offered to kiss you again to prove my sincerity?"

As I leaned even closer, anxiously awaiting an answer, not only did her heart rate steadily increase, but also her breathing became more erratic, almost as if she was having trouble breathing.

"Okay," she finally whispered breathlessly.

If I thought the first two kisses were wonderful, this one was beyond words for not only did she kiss me back more enthusiastically then before, but the electrical charge that seemed to tingle through me reached all the way to my toes before it surged back to my lips. I found my arms wrapping more tightly around her and my body pulling even tighter to hers while my mind also stayed focused on her fragility. Even with that caution in mind, I still felt as if we were merging into one unified person with no separation possible.

I'm not sure how long we remained bonded at the lips, but I suddenly noticed her erratic heartbeat and the suspension of her breathing. I pulled my lips slowly from hers and moved them to her ear whispering, "Breathe Bella, I'm not adverse to mouth to mouth, but I'd rather be kissing you than reviving you."

Her response was a deep breath followed by a soft chuckle before she pulled my face back toward her and renewed our disrupted kiss.

Had the rest of the night been up to me, we would have spent it cradled together with our lips and arms permanently fused to each other, but Bella not only needed to breathe, she also needed to sleep. As I began to extract myself from her embrace, she murmured, "Stay with me, please."

I'm not sure how her parents would have felt if they discovered I spent the night with her, but her words worked as imperishable chains once she made her request. Her desire alone welded me in place, and I had no thirst to leave her side. Instead, I allowed her to nestle closely to me, and my keen hearing registered the evenness of her breathing as she finally surrendered to sleep.

It was the first of many nights that I would spend with her, each one becoming more cherished than the one before. The fact that she was willing to accept 'me' made my heart soar. I had proclaimed my love for her and she hadn't rejected me. Of course, she hadn't proclaimed hers in words, but I accepted her kiss as reciprocation for the feelings I shared. That first night was also when I discovered that Bella talked in her sleep; however, talking wasn't all she did while she slept.

Somewhere around three in the morning, Bella became restless and pulled away from me. I thought it was a response to my cold and uncomfortable form, but then she abruptly sat up and murmured, "No, don't."

I wasn't sure what she was referring to, so I asked, "Bella, are you okay?"

Her reply was to get out of bed saying, "Please don't." She held out her arm as if reaching for something and then she began walking toward the door.

I could not decipher her actions, so I got up and followed her saying, "Bella, where are you going? Can I do anything to help?" Her actions were confusing, to say the least, and causing me some fear since I couldn't comprehend what was occurring.

When she reached the door, she yanked it open yelling almost tearfully, "Please come back, please Edward."

While her words jolted me, they also brought just about everyone in the family to the bedroom door. Alice was in the forefront and her thoughts were extremely evident. 'What have you done?' but they stopped the moment she saw Bella.

Carlisle was right behind Alice with just about the same thought, but then he stepped past Alice and gently took Bella's shoulders as he whispered, "She's sleep walking." His tone was slightly more audible as he said, "Bella, honey, it's time to go back to bed; everything is fine, you just need to sleep," he kept his voice softy rhythmic as he spoke to her.

Bella replied, "He's leaving, I have to stop him. Please don't go Edward, please."

'Tell her you're not leaving,' Carlisle's unspoken request caused me to look at him rather than Bella; her back was still facing me so I had no idea her eyes were closed.

I gently touched her shoulder as I reassured her, "I'm right here Bella, I'm not going anywhere." As I spoke, she turned toward me and at that moment, I finally noticed her closed eyes, but it was the anguish on her face shocked me. Very slowly, she moved toward me and wrapped her arms around my waist as she murmured, "I love you," and then her entire body relaxed as she slumped in my arms.

All I could do as a caught her and lifted her in my arms was to look at Carlisle.

"She walks in her sleep, Edward. While she is here, you will have to keep an eye on her. Don't wake her; just speak softly and gently. Listen to what she says and then reassure her that everything is all right. I'll speak to her parents tomorrow to find out if this is natural for her. I think she should sleep for the rest of the night now." He then turned to the rest of the family. "Go back to whatever you were doing, everything will be fine, and next time, Emmett, put a little more clothing on before you come out of your room." That was the first time I noticed Emmett had nothing but Rose's blouse tied around his waist.

Before she left, Alice whispered, "I take it everything is resolved between the two of you, or were you really going to walk out and leave her?"

I chuckled softly, "No, I wasn't leaving, and yes, everything is resolved." I then turned, shut the door behind me, and carried Bella back to the bed. She had her arms tightly locked around my neck, and I had to gently but firmly unlocked her fingers so I could lay her back on the bed. Then I covered her, laid behind her, wrapped my arm around her waist, and drew her snugly to my chest. I found myself humming a childhood lullaby that I remembered as I began to imagine what a future with Bella would be like.

In the beginning, my 'daydreams' included Bella remaining human, not because I didn't want to change her, but because I wanted to wait for her to be a little older. It wouldn't be right to change her until she fully understood what it would mean to her life and to those around her. If she chose a life with me, it would be safer to change her, and I did desire to keep her for all eternity, but only if that was her mature, free will mature choice as well.

While she remained human, I envisioned us dating, going to dances, making out on the sofa, and all the other normal human activities of a teenage couple who were serious about staying together. I began to wonder just how long we should wait before I asked her to go steady. It was one change that occurred in the 1950's that I really liked. Instead of becoming engages at an early age or having your parents deciding who you should marry, teenagers were allowed to date and if agreed upon, they could form an exclusive relationship by 'going steady'.

Going steady was a good idea; it meant I could lay claim to her and not share her with any of those immature and sometimes lecherous adolescents at school. Then, depending on Bella's wishes, I planned to recommend her change take place after graduation; that way high school would be finished and it would be more natural for her to leave her parents house. A wedding would also be nice. I not only wanted to make Bella mine for all eternity as one of us, but I wanted her united to me in every humanly manner possible, and that, to my way of thinking, included matrimony. If she accepted me – it would kill me in unimaginable ways if she rejected me – I would allow her to decide if we would wed before or after her change.

Up until I met Bella, I had given up the concept of finding anyone I would ever feel that way about. I knew how the other couples in the family felt about each other; with my ability, it was inevitable but I never imagined I would find anyone who I could bond to like Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle had bonded to the women in their lives. Although he wouldn't say it outright, I believed that Emmett had given up the idea that I would find anyone; even though he had tried to throw enough girls in my path before Bella, it seemed as if, during the last 15 years, he had given up on my love life.

That first evening, with Bella safely ensconced in my arms, was first time in 40 years that I spent the evening dreaming; not the same kind of dreaming humans do in their sleep, but a sort of night-time daydreaming, and I fully enjoyed every minute of it. I had never had anything as important in my life to plan as I did that night, and Bella was the star of those plans and dreams. I fully accepted the fact that my existence would never remain the same now that she had entered the sphere of it.

The best analogy I could create was that I felt like a lost planet that had wandered through the desolate frozen void for an eternity, and after giving up all hope, had finally found a clement warmhearted, brightly illuminated sun to revolve around. In addition, this newly discovered sun was willing to except me exactly as I was without questions or hesitation. I would also discover, the closer my orbit revolved around this loving, devoted sun, the happier I was. With that realization, I knew I would never willingly leave my orbit around Bella unless she rejected me and negligently flung me back out into the gloomy frigid abyss to wonder aimlessly forlorn for the rest of eternity.

As all the thoughts of dating, going steady, and having a new goal to focus on filtered through my thoughts, it suddenly dawned on me that I would need to meet Bella parents so that I would be able to make my intentions clear. I didn't want them to think I was someone who would lead Bella down the garden path only to walk out and desert her later on. Leaving Bella was impossible; without her, my life would be more than meaningless and empty, it would be utterly unbearable.

The necessity had never arisen before to meet someone's parents. For me, this would be a new experience. Neither Emmett nor Jasper had needed to take time to meet and reassure parents that their intents on Rose or Alice were honorable. I already was planning a Sunday afternoon meeting. If Bella hadn't changed her mind about me, I was hoping we could spend part of Saturday just becoming better acquainted, and as I thought about that, I wondered if Alice would be willing to invite Bella over for more sleepovers; I had decided I wanted to become accustomed to having Bella sleeping in my arms, and if that were a definite possibility in my future, it would be advantageous for me to buy a bed for my room. The guest room was okay, but next time – that thought caused pleasurable shivers to surge throughout my body because it was extremely possible that there would be a next time, and a time after that – I would prefer to have Bella alone in my room. I suddenly wanted to share everything I had with her; I wanted her to know all there was to know about me – I had never felt this intense desire before to share myself or my possession with anyone and I realized that I enjoyed the feeling.

I began to compose a new vision about our life together before and after her change, and I suddenly wanted to rush out and buy her an extra special gift, something that would be meaningful and memorable about the pristine love that I had for her. I wondered how she would feel about diamonds; they were Rose's gift of choice. Alice, on the other hand, preferred clothing to jewelry, especially designer clothes; Alice didn't believe in buying anything off the rack if she could help it. Esme enjoyed flowers most of all as a gift. She once told me that even though they were temporary, she loved the variety of fragrances that they omitted, and she vastly preferred them to those hard and non-aromatic imitations.

Those choices didn't help with Bella though; Bella was different from the other females in my family. She was more simplistic than Rose or Alice, and flowers didn't seem to convey what I felt for Bella.

As I pondered the little I knew about her, I remembered something I overheard her saying one day at lunch. As I envisioned her sitting at the lunch table, I recognized the fact that she always seemed to carry a book with her wherever she went, and looking back on my nightly visits, there would always be a book on her bedside table. The lunchroom conversation had brought back these memories; she had told Alice that one of her favorite pastimes was reading, and that she had an affinity for Shakespeare as well as Jane Austin. It was enough information to help me decide exactly what I could give her as a gift.

Before Bella, I dreaded the nighttime part of my existence. Everyone around us slept while we remained awake, and everyone else in the family paired up and went to their separate rooms. Most nights, I ended up wondering off into the woods somewhere because of the nocturnal activities that kept my family members entertained. I intentionally avoided listening because I would only end up hearing extremely intimate and personal comments, but once in awhile, some thoughts or sights would slip through which would have caused me to blush if I had been capable of the human quality. Therefore, I was always looking for other way to keep myself busy. Unfortunately, in 1958 television channels, the two or three that you received via an antenna went off the air at midnight, and many radio stations decreased their signal strengths about the same time, which meant there were not a lot of extracurricular activities for me to choose from at night.

This evening proved more enjoyable; first, because I held snug to my chest the most important precious person who ever entered my existence, and second, I was pleasurably spending my time imagining what fantastic changes would occur because of her.

I do readily admit that the idea of meeting her parents scared me a little. I didn't know much about her parents, but I did know that her dad was the local army recruiter and according to Esme, her mom was a bit of a free thinker, especially for that time. I never before had to meet any girl's parents, but then again, I didn't think of Bella as any girl, for I was now thinking of her as 'my girl'. Which lead me back to the comment that Alice had asked earlier in the week about who Bella would be attending the Halloween dance with; well that was now obvious, she would attend it with me. I wasn't about to let any other male rivals enter into her sphere of existence. She was mine, and I was planning to make that extremely evident when we attended school on Monday.

Somewhere around seven the next morning, Bella began to move as she slept. At first, she backed tighter against my chest, about five minutes later she pulled away a little and rolled over throwing her arm around my waist, her right leg over my legs at my knee, and then buried her face into my chest, or as much as it was possible considering my skin did not give like human skin did. At one point she softly murmured, "My Edward." It was the first time I was abundantly thankful for sensitive hearing. I would not have wanted to miss those two words, and they caused me to tilt my head enough so I could whisper, "My Bella," into her ear.

It was about half past eight that I noticed a slight change in her breathing. I promptly learned that it was one indicator of her waking up. First, her breathing would become slightly deeper, and then she would wriggle around a bit – which triggered major sensory zones in my body that had lain dormant for years – before she began to stretch her muscles. That first morning, with her leg hooked over my knee, I had to practice extreme restraint because of the substantial desires her squirming and stretching generated, but I must admit I still enjoyed every moment and movement. At one point, she even nestled her face more into my chest and made an 'mmmm' sound that aroused my desire to kiss her. As a result, I gently put my hand under her chin and tilted it up. Then I kissed each of her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips pulling away just as she began kissing me back. It was at that point that she finally opened her eyes. As her eyes focused, I saw recognition in them and she gave the cutest little squeak, which caused me to laugh softly. Over the years, I've noticed the squeak occurring whenever she was unexpectedly and suddenly surprised.

"You're really here," she uttered. "I thought it was a dream, but you really did stay with me."

"I promised I wouldn't leave, and my promise is even stronger now that you almost walked out of the room in your sleep early this morning," I replied.

"Ohhh," she moaned, and then her eyes opened even wider as she asked, "I walked in my sleep?"

"Yes," I murmured softly as her aroma drifted through my senses. I took a deep whiff of her fragrance and said, "You smell even more delicious in the morning."

"Edward, as much as I appreciate the compliment – it is a complement, right?" She asked hesitantly and I murmured my agreement. "Well then, as much as I appreciate it, there is something I must confess."

I tensed slightly out of fear that she would suddenly admit that she had changed her mind about me.

"Edward, what happened last night, well, this is rather awkward, but . . . I must tell you . . . well . . . um . . . I ah, don't normally . . . but only under extreme . . ." her continual hesitancy increased my alarm that she had come to her senses and was, as I had dreadfully anticipated, finally rejecting me, "well – really – only under extreme anxiety do I . . . um . . . walk in my sleep."

I hadn't been aware of the fact that I had completely stopped breathing, which wasn't a hardship for me, but with her last three words I realized I was letting out an extremely deep breath as I said, "Is that all."

She looked up at me with surprise in her eyes.

"Bella, I thought you were going to tell me you changed your mind about me."

My tone must have reflected my relief because she gasped before replying, "I'll never change my mind about you. You'll be stuck with me forever. You're going to find out I'm extremely immovable once I've made up my mind about something. No, the problem here is the sleepwalking. This isn't new Edward, but it can become extremely dangerous."

"Bella, I don't sleep, so I'll make sure you don't go very far. Besides, what do you have to be anxious about?"

"You leaving me," she uttered in the softest of sobbed whispers.

I chuckled as I exclaimed, "Bella, you'll discover that I'll tenaciously hold onto you and that I have absolutely no aspirations to sever our blossoming relationship. I'm more afraid that you'll be craving to abandon me. My existence is not one many humans desire to emulate, and with your distinct aversion to blood, it could prove rather, shall we say, bizarre for you."

"Nothing about you will ever scare me away," she ran a finger around my lips as she spoke. "I've made my choice and you are stuck with me forever," she finished and then pulled herself up my body until her lips met mine.

I knew if I allowed her to continue to kiss me, we could end up in trouble because I was still learning how to control the new desires welling up within me, so I pulled slowly away from her and said, "As much as I would enjoy continuing this make-out session, it might be a good idea if you got dressed first."

I wasn't completely sure, but I think it was at that moment that she realized she still had her leg hooked over mine because the heat of her blush spread from her body into mine, and I felt as if small tendrils of blazing fire were spreading throughout my body. Over the years, I had become so accustomed to my bodies new temperature that I didn't feel cold and it took a lot for it to register heat, but the heat from her body felt as if some had ignited an internal furnace inside of me; a furnace that I never even knew existed until that moment. My first reaction was to pull her closer and allow her to heat my entire being; my second and more rational reaction was to push slightly away from her, smile, and encourage her to change into something less tempting.

"Bella," I whispered softly as I separated us, "after you're dressed, we'll talk more."

"Yes," she murmured in reply, but her blush remained, so I averted my eyes so as not to embarrass her more. As she reached the bathroom door she stopped and added, "Edward, we have to talk about the danger of last night when I'm finished dressing," before disappearing through the door.

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	14. Chapter 14 Unseen Danger

**AN: I do not own these characters.**

**Journal Entry Nine – The Unforeseen Danger 1958**

Bella parting words, 'we have to talk about the danger of last night,' left me feeling confused and concerned, to say the least. All my thoughts wandered over to the side of my being dangerous to her. I had to admit, under normal circumstances, I was a danger to her because of the magnetic succulent draw of her blood, but discovering that I loved her helped alleviate part of the desire to consume her blood. I let my mind ponder her words while I listened to her activities in the bathroom. I heard the water as Bella turned on the shower, the soft whoosh of her pajamas as they feel to the floor, and the soft pad of her bare feet as she entered the shower. I knew she was showering rather than running a bath because of the sound, the water was falling without filling anything up. The problem was I had to find a way to focus my thoughts on something other than what was occurring behind that closed door I seemed to have fixed my eyes on; I knew if I didn't my mind would begin to visualize what was not completely mine to visualize, at least not yet.

To deter my thoughts down a safer avenue, I decided to create a list of questions I should ask Bella so I could become better acquainted with her. I began by deciding to ask some safe questions about her family. I knew a little about her parents, but I didn't know if she had an extended family somewhere.

I kept telling myself to keep focused on these questions, but it became extremely hard to tune out the noises coming from the bathroom. I could her Bella softly humming, a little off key, but every once in a while she would throw in some 'ohs' and 'aws' that jerked my mind back to her activity rather than mine. After fifteen minutes of pure torture, I decided it was time to vacate the room, but as I made that decision, Bella turned off the water. I heard her pulling a towel off the bar that was next to the shower and then Bella's wet feet stepping onto the bathroom floor. I could just envision her toweling dry; next, she walked over to the sink, and I heard her turn on the water before she began to brush her teeth. She was very thorough in that activity, and her next move had me up and out of the room before I could create any more pictures, for I realized she had moved on to a very private bathroom activity.

I found myself downstairs in the kitchen before the bedroom door could completely close behind me. I knew my voyeurism had gone too far, and decided right then that I would have to find something else to preoccupy me whenever Bella needed to use the bathroom. For this particular morning, I decided to fix Bella a bowl of cereal, something I was sure I could do even though I hadn't eaten human food in nearly thirty years. Besides, it seemed simple enough. Pour the cereal in the bowl; pour some milk over the cereal and grab a spoon – how simple was that, even I couldn't get it wrong. After fixing her breakfast, I slowly walked up the stairs giving her plenty of time to complete her bathroom activities.

As I entered the room, I placed her bowl on the bedside table as I heard the bathroom door open. I was about to ask her about her part words, when she tripped coming through the threshold. No more than a attractive squeak erupted from her lips before I caught her in my arms. After setting her upright, I couldn't help but smile and ask, "Just how accident prone are you?"

She laughed as she replied, "That was my third mishap this morning."

I let out a slight groan as I teasingly replied, "I do have my job cut out for me."

"Maybe you want to rethink whether you want me around," she replied with a slight frown.

I encased her in my arms pulling her up against my chest and replied, "You're not getting away that easily. Accidents or not, I do not intend to push you away. Nope, I'm just as stuck with you as you are with me Miss 'Swan,'" then I kissed her soundly.

When I finally released her lips, I said, "I made you breakfast."

"Who could eat after that," she murmured.

I chuckled as I replied, "Still, I do believe you need some breakfast," I released her enough to usher her over to the bed where she sat down as I handed her the bowl of cereal. "It's not much, but it should tide you over until lunch." I sat down on the bed near her.

I watched as she scooped up a spoonful and moved it to her mouth, and then she made a slight grimace before saying, "Needs sugar."

"I can get some is you like," I offered quickly.

"No this will do," she smiled but I didn't. I was so sure I couldn't make a mistake with cereal and yet I did which made me feel negligent. "Really, Edward, it's okay," she reassured. "Next time you can just add a spoonful of sugar, but for now it's fine."

Despite her words of forgiveness, I still felt guilty, but I decided not to push the issue, so while she ate, I talked.

"I thought we could spend what is left of this morning becoming better acquainted. I really don't know much about you except your blood lured me to you and now I'm irrevocably in love with you."

The spoon stopped midway to her mouth as she uttered, "Really?"

"I'm not sure what Alice and Emmett have told you, but when we fall in love, it is forever. It is not something we do lightly," I noticed she had resumed eating but I could tell she was taking in everything I said. "I know that humans can fall in and out of love repeatedly, but my kind is not capable of trivial feelings. Once we form a relationship – love, hate, or even friendship – it is eternal." I looked deeply into her eyes as I informed her, "Bella, I am now incapable of ever falling out of love with you."

Once again, the spoon stopped moving and Bella leaned toward me as she said, "Good," and kissed me. I quickly relieved her of the bowl – I'm a quick learner, so I knew she would forget about them and dump the soggy cereal all over the bed – and at the same time, I kissed her in return.

As she parted from me, I commented as I reached over to place the bowl and spoon safely on the bedside table, "I take it you're done with breakfast."

She looked down at her hands, "Yes, and I apologize for being so forward, but I can't seem to help it when I'm around you."

"Bella," I took her face in my hands so I could look into her eyes, "I've seen you around others and I've seen how shy you actually are, so I know this is different for you, but please, don't apologize. I enjoy it when you kiss me; if I were the only one doing the kissing, I would wonder if you really had any feelings for me, but when you kiss me like that, I know that our feelings are more mutual." I chuckled as I watched a huge smile spread across her face while her cheeks turned a nice bright red.

"Now, I still think we need to talk," I let go of her face as I slid back on the bed to put a little space between us – more so I would hopefully be less tempted to wrap her in my arms and kiss her again then for any other reason. "I imagine Alice and Emmett shared all my foibles with you, but maybe I need to clarify or even amend some things they have said." If her mind hadn't been the brick wall that it was to me, I could have answered some of her unspoken questions I saw in her eyes as I spoke, but as it was, I had to wait for her to ask them verbally. I also hadn't forgotten her comment she made just before she entered the bathroom, "Plus, you need to clarify 'the danger of last night.' Did you feel like you were in danger because I was in the room with you?"

Bella laughed softly and replied, "No, having you with me throughout the night was wonderful, and in a way, somewhat reassuring. The danger I meant was the sleep walking."

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to you Bella. You were always safe, so there wasn't anything for you to worry about."

"That's not the part that was dangerous Edward. I trust you; I think I have always trusted you since the very beginning. If I hadn't, I don't think I would have been able to stay so calm on those nights you came into my bedroom at night."

Her admission surprised me. She had suggested, once before, she knew about the visits, but I hadn't realized she was completely aware of my presence. "You knew all along, really?" I asked more for clarification than anything else.

She leaned slightly toward me as she replied, "Yes. I could always tell when you were under my window. I was never asleep, just extremely still. At first, I thought you would go away if you knew I was actually awake. I mean, I felt positive you had to know that I wasn't asleep because I had to fight to keep breathe evenly, but still, I figured you would be able to tell the difference. And then, the temptation to open my eyes and throw my arms around your neck . . . you don't know how hard I fought my desires, but in the end, it was worth it because last night was better than I ever imagined it would be. Wow, I'm rambling aren't I?"

Curiosity, temporarily, pushed aside the question about her danger as I asked, "No, not really. I can understand what you're saying, but what I want to know is how you could tell I was under your window."

"Your scent gave you away," she replied simply.

"Bella, humans aren't that sensitive, your sense of smell is not that strong," I countered totally confused, bewildered, and absolutely surprised at her response.

"Mine is; it is the reason being around blood is so hard, and besides, your scent is so strong that I notice it even when I can't see you. Last spring, well actually every time your avoided me, I could tell if you had been in the room just before I entered or if you had vacated it prior to my arriving at your house because of the strength of your scent. I always felt so guilty when I knew my arrival had chased you out of your own home just moments before I entered."

"You are utterly amazing," I proclaimed, "the most unique human I have ever met. I'll have to ask Carlisle later if he has ever encountered a phenomenon like you before." I stopped as I recalled the rest of her comment, "Wait, you were always awake when I came into the room?" Even I had not realized that fact. Had my focus been so fixed on her blood that I had missed some sign to indicate anything other than sleep?

"Yes, it was hardest, though, the first night but not wholly unexpected. After what happened in the park and the fact that you wouldn't speak to me afterwards, I rather excitedly anticipated that you might come to my room that night, so I was ready for your 'visit' when you finally came. The hardest part was staying calm, but not because I was afraid."

'Of course not,' I thought, 'what normal human would fear a thirst-driven vampire stealthily creeping into their room in the dead of night to drain them of their life-sustaining blood?'

"But the excited anticipation was somewhat hard to control," I groaned softly at her comment but happily noticed she hadn't heard me, "and when you actually stepped into my room I had to fervently fight the urge to turn over and look at you." She reached out and caressed my cheek as she continued, "I was afraid that after the first few visits you would become suspicious," in a whisper just before dropping her hand into her lap. I instantly regretted the loss of delicious warmth she had shared with her delicate touch.

"Suspicious of what?" I asked when she didn't add any more.

"Of me, of how you always found me," she averted her eyes, which until that moment had been locked on mine searchingly as if she had been seeking more information than I had been supplying.

My mind did an instant mental replay of every night I had gone into her room, and I suddenly realized I always found her lying on the bed in the same position. "Oh!" I uttered with dawning insight.

"You see," she continued as she witnessed my insight into her meaning, "I was always on my stomach with my face turned away from the window. I knew if I could see you, I would look and give myself away. I kept my hair conveniently pulled away from my neck and back leaving them freely exposed for your benefit. That first night, after meeting you, I spent two hours deciding how best to make it as easy as possible for you to have access to my blood. For me, that was the safest way; in that position, it would be harder for me to lose control and reveal my true feelings for you. You see, I was already in love with you, and my greatest fear was that I would flip around, throw my arms around your neck, and pull you as close as possible to kiss you." As she spoke, I watched the color slowly creeping up her skin, and by the time she was finished, her face was a bright cherry red which filled the air around us with her blood's aromatic magnetic scent, and yet my first desire and reaction was to cup her chin with my hand as I leaned in and kissed her sweetly luscious lips.

As a slowly and tenderly released her, I whispered, "Thank you Bella."

"For what?" Her words a barely audible utterance as her heart fluttered rapidly.

"For being the most amazingly surprising, considerate, and deliciously loving being that I have ever encountered, and for allowing me into you sphere of existence," I replied softly as I was still within in a hairs breath of her and still had her delicately rosy chin cupped in my cold hand.

"You're welcome, then," she uttered just before leaning forward and kissing me in return.

When she finally pulled away, I chuckled softly and she gazed questioningly into my eyes. "I may have to rethink which of us is in more danger from the other."

"Explain," she requested.

"You're greatest danger is that I might accidently hurt you, but my danger is that you're attractions for me will cause me to lose control of all my newly found emotional sensations, and then we could both be in trouble in more ways than one," I offered as a roundabout way to enlighten her on her strong emotional pull on me.

I watched her eyes as I realized she was processing what I said, and then a spark lit up in them and I realized she understood perfectly what I meant. "Oh," she uttered pulling away slightly, "maybe I had better keep a little more distance between us," she laughed lightly.

"Maybe, but with the attraction that pulls us together, we may both find that harder than we might expect."

"Well, I will try to work on my self control if you'll work on yours," she laughed again as she pulled further away causing the need for me to release my hold on her chin.

"Hm, it may be harder for me than you think. Remember my comment about our intensified feelings and emotions?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well, these intensified feelings are new for me. Something I had thought I had lost forever of the human side of me, and now that they have suddenly sprung to life, I'm rather enjoying them," I watched as she scooted infinitesimally further away from me on the bed, "but don't worry," I offered with a chuckle, "you're virtue is still safe from me because along with the intensity of those feelings has come the renewal of my personal sense of honor as well."

"My dad will be glad of that, but I don't think I will mention it to him just yet," she offered lightly in response.

"Not to change the subject, but I still need some clarification of the other matter we were discussing. Since it is now a given fact that I will constantly be here to watch out for you, then where is the danger?" From my perspective, the only danger I foresaw was I, but we both knew that I no longer represented a danger to her life because for me her life was too precious.

"The sleepwalking, Edward," her tone was so calm that it I was unable to understand how or why she saw it as dangerous.

"Bella, I will protect you. I'll never let you out of my sight, and now that I know you walk in your sleep, I'll know what to watch for," I assured her.

"Yes, I know that, but what about when you're not around?"

"I'll always be around Bella; I promise I'm not ever going to leave you," I chuckled softly as I made the next comment because of the realization that it was abundantly true, "Even if you decide you don't want me anymore, I'll still be around watching. I don't think I could leave your sphere of existence even if I tried."

Bella smiled but then persevered with her comment. "I believe that, but what about . . ." she looked down at the bedspread and her hands began to play idly with a loose string, "you know I won't . . . well, be here . . . sometimes I'll be . . . alone . . ."

I moved much closer to her and took her face in my hands so she could see me as I spoke, "Bella, I'll never leave you alone. I'll go wherever you go. I'll keep you safe."

Her eyes were one feature that truly continued to amaze me. I had never seen such deep and impenetrable pools in any other human, but even as far into them as I could see, I still could not tell what she was thinking.

As deeply as I stared into her eyes, she gazed into mine. I felt as if she were invading my conscious mind for I felt as if her words were louder in my head than in my ears. "But at night, Edward, I walk at night. I'm alone at night. Don't you see?" Her words were the softest of whispers, but because of the connections we seemed to have constructed as we stared into each other's eyes, her words were a loud exclamation of warning and I finally understood her fear.

I finally realized she 'was' alone at night in her room. Only when I had been on my nightly prowls had I been in the room with her. Last night I had stayed because she asked. I knew if she asked I would never leave her alone at night, but then I realized she might hold back that request due to her shyness and awkwardness about asking for something that might be perceived as overly intimate.

"Just ask Bella," it was my move I decided, so I made it.

Her stare became more probing as if she were seeking the truth behind my words. I wanted to assure her I meant every word, but I knew this was something she had to discover for herself if she were to accept them as the ultimate truth. I always viewed myself as a patient person; I never doubted that, but with the advent of Bella into my life, I was discovering that my patience stemmed from the fact that I always knew the answer or even the question before it was ever given; therefore, I could afford to be patient because I knew what was forthcoming. With Bella, there was no advance warning, no way to prepare for what her reply might be, and I was learning what it truly meant to be patient, and it was not a lesson I was enjoying.

"Edward," again, her voice was the softest whisper, "I know it isn't right, and if my parents every found out . . . well, to say the least, my dad would kill one of us, but be that as it may, I was wondering . . .," her hesitation was adorable because she was blushing furiously, but the wait was agonizing because I still could not tell which way her thoughts were going. I could not foretell if she was accepting or rejecting my offer. "Well . . . would it be possible . . . would you feel it would be acceptable for me . . . not to forward of me . . . to ask . . . if just maybe . . . you might consider . . .." She halted completely, still looking deeply into my eyes and probing for – what, assurance, rejection, I wasn't sure what she was probing for, but I did know that I would love to stay in her room, as close to her as possible if she allowed it. I watched as she took an extremely deep breath, and then she blurted out, "Would you stay with me at night? I mean, every night and not leave me alone ever?" She finally pulled her eyes away from mine and found somewhere else to look but she was definitely avoiding my eyes.

I suspected that she was waiting for a rejection. My hands were still on her face, but even though her face was aligned with mine, her eyes were not. I wanted to see her eyes when I answered, but I wouldn't force her to look at me. All I could do was hope that she would look up when I answered, and with that hope, I answered quickly, "I would love to." I never took my eyes off her face, and she did look up at my reply and I could see her relief reflected in her eyes. With her eyes on mine, I added, "Bella, will you be my girl and agree to be mine exclusively?"

I commented much softer than I realized, but I knew she heard me because I watched as the tears begin to form in her eyes; even though I knew they related to her happiness because of the broad smile that lit up her entire face, I still felt a little guilty for causing them.

"Yes, forever and always," she replied.

Her soft breathy response encouraged me, "And Bella, would you consider going steady with me?"

Now the tears were rolling down her cheek. "I would love to Edward."

I knew my next comment was going to be more forward than I might ever have been with someone else, but I had to know if Bella was willing to make a lifetime commitment to me because I never wanted to lose her. I couldn't afford to lose her; she now meant more to me than my own existence – it is funny how intense love can be for us, I never realized it before finding Bella.

Since my hands had never left her preciously dear face, I leaned in and rested my forehead against hers as I whispered as lovingly and tenderly as possible, "And Bella, will you marry me?"

I heard her draw in her breath before saying, "One day – yes, but I don't think we should tell my parents that at the moment."

"No," I agreed, "they would probably like us to wait until after you graduate."

"More than likely," she murmured.

We had been so close and had spoken so softly, that it surprised me when Alice rudely interrupted us by saying, "Kiss her, and then set the date so I can begin planning."

I let go of Bella and turned swiftly toward Alice as I growled, "Go away, we still need to talk, and we won't set the date yet; besides, I haven't even met her parents yet." As I mentioned meeting her parents, I heard Bella chuckle.

Alice glared at me as I spoke, but then looked to Bella as she replied, "I know you'll let me know as soon as a date is set. I know you won't disappoint me like he has," pointing her finger toward me.

Bella chuckled again before saying, "I will Alice, as soon as I know, but Edward is right, it might be a while before we begin discussing a date."

Alice backed through the door saying, "As long as you promise, I'm satisfied," and then she closed the door as she exited.

I turned back toward Bella, "I hope you realize she'll continue asking for a date until one is set." Forewarned, I decided, would prepare her for what I knew was to come.

"Edward, what do you do when you're not attending school?" Her question took me a little by surprise and she must have noticed it for she added, "You said we needed to learn more about each other."

I took a moment to plan my answer and began by saying, "You mean besides stealthily following young girls whose blood is irresistible to me?" We both laughed, helping to create a more comfortable atmosphere.

"Yes, besides that," she laughed.

I enjoyed her laugh; it was light, rather airy and breathy, and slightly musical. I planned on reminding myself frequently that I needed to make her laugh more often, and as I thought that I also gathered together the information I was willing to share about my out of school activities – I would only share the ones that wouldn't be grisly.

"Sometimes," I began thoughtfully, "it depends on my mood. For instance, two days ago I felt rather melancholy, so I sat down at the piano and played some of the torch songs I know." Those songs had fit my mood at the time because they all spoke of unrequited love, although at the time I hadn't been aware the my depression might be connected to my growing attachment to Bella – now, of course, I knew better.

I watched her eyes light up as I spoke, "You can play the piano?"

I nodded my head in response.

"Can you play classical as well as?"

There was an uplifted hopeful lilt in her tone, which caused me to chuckle as I replied, "Yes, much to Emmett's dismay." I saw the question arise in her eyes and quickly answered, "He doesn't really like classical; he prefers the new 'rock and roll' so I play that once in a while as well."

"Will you play for me later? I love the sound of the piano."

"Would you like to learn?" I thought maybe I could give her some lessons; nothing hard, but there were a few simpler pieces I could teach her.

My questions brought a burst of laughter from her that took her a few minutes from which to recover. "Edward, as much as I would enjoy that, it is a wasted cause. My mom made me take piano lessons for two years before the instructor simply gave up and proclaimed me non-teachable. Toward the end, I quite often had her in tears. It was one of my less memorable experiences."

I smiled at her confession, but replied, "We'll try anyway. Maybe I know a few tricks she didn't, and I will play for you later. So, can I ask the same question? What do you do when you're not in school?"

She replied lightly, "You mean besides tripping, stumbling, and running into things?"

I laughed outright as I said, "Yes, besides those little normal every day incidents."

She laughed along with me at my reply, and then sobered a little as she added, "Sometimes I just enjoy going somewhere to be alone, and usually I take a book with me. I enjoy reading; it is my escape from a world," I watched the humor drain from her face as she continued, "where I don't seem to fit in, where there seems to be no future for me, and where I always feel alone and isolated." A lone tear slid slowly down her cheek and I instinctively reached out and wiped it way.

I felt my chest tighten and ache as she spoke, and it more than saddened me when she acknowledged the isolation she felt from the people and world she lived in. I knew my family felt that way, but that was because of what we were. We really did not belong to the world of humans, but Bella did, and yet she seemed to feel rejected by the world where she rightfully belonged. If it were within my capability, I'm not ashamed to admit, I probably would have shed tears along with her.

**AN: Thanks for reading this chapter and if you enjoyed it even a little please consider leaving a review, even if it is only a short one – all reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	15. Chapter 15 Twenty Questions

**AN: Stephenie Meyer's owns the rights to the Twilight characters.**

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**Journal Entry Ten – Twenty Questions 1958**

"Okay, there is only one thing you have to promise me," Bella said after sharing her desire to seek solitude.

"And what would that be?" I had to admit I was curious after her admission about feeling misplaced in the mundane human world.

"You have to stop feeling sorry for me. I might feel out of place, but that is how my life has always been. I accepted it a long time ago." I was about to speak but she quickly leaned forward and place her finger on my lips. "Edward, I enjoyed being alone, and I love to read, so although sometimes I feel sad, it is an acceptable sad. For me, it could be much worse than it really is."

'Much worse?' I thought; how could it be any worse than it already was for her. It seemed wrong that she should ever feel that way, but I knew she didn't want my pity. Even so, it didn't answer my question, so when she removed her finger, I asked, "How could it be worse?"

"You want us to be open and honest, right?" She had pulled back and sat up straight, but I saw her back straighten even more as she asked her question.

"Yes." I saw no reason to elaborate; it was a simple enough question and reply.

"If I answer your question you have to promise me two things," she looked at me questioningly.

I didn't like breaking promises; not that I hadn't lied before – being what I was there were times when survival equaled lying. It just seemed wrong to lie to her now, so I thought about what she might make me promise and concluded that I could promise her almost anything as long as she didn't ask me to harm her or leave her. I ended up providing her with the only answer I felt comfortable with, "Within reason, I will promise you anything."

Bella laughed slightly before responding. "Edward, I'm not going to ask you to promise anything unreasonable." At least she seemed to relax a little – it had bothered me when she had straightened up so much, as if she were becoming extremely serious. "I'm only going to ask you to promise not to pity me and to promise to be as honest with me as I'm going to be with you."

It seemed a reasonable exchange. If she asked anything I felt uncomfortable with sharing, I could side step the issue for a while. I decided I had more to gain through this promise than to lose. "I promise," I offered freely.

"Alright, then to answer your question, worse, for me, would include not being here at all."

"Bella, I don't think I would ever have turned you away. Last night was inevitable, if it hadn't been for your party, I think we would have still ended up together but maybe just not as soon."

She chuckled slightly. "No Edward, that isn't what I meant, although that to would have been worse. What I meant was that over the course of my life time, I could have died any number of times resulting in my not being here – alive – right now."

"Oh," I stared at her somewhat shocked. I had accepted that she was accident prone, but I had never considered her that accident-prone. I began to look at her from an entirely different perspective. The next question, for me, was a given necessity, "How often and how?"

"Maybe I should have asked for three promises," she stared at me thoughtfully.

"That bad," I stated. I didn't have to ask, I knew if she needed a promise it was going to be that bad.

"In your opinion, I would say yes."

"Then you had better give me the worst first and work from there. I already promised not to pity you, but I may have to reconsider how watchful I will have to be to keep you safe from this moment on." I thought if I lightened the mood, it might help her feel safer sharing with me.

"Just remember Edward, in most cases I had no control over the situation, and I never did anything to intentionally cause harm to myself."

I took a deep cleansing breath, or maybe it was a fortifying breath so I could prepare myself for the worst she would share with me. "I will keep that in mind, and I believe I'm ready for the worst one first," I offered as I released the breath I had taken.

"The worst was a car accident. I was about five, and I was in the back seat of the car. I'm not sure of all the details; I was too young to pay much attention to what was going on around me. We were headed to my gram's house and it was a long trip – well," she chuckled, "long for a five year old. Anyway, I was in the back seat and playing with some toy; the next thing I remember was waking up in pain in a strange room that smelt funny and was extremely bright. I began crying for my mom, but she didn't come, which only caused me to cry more because I was scared. Finally, a lady dressed all in white appeared and tried to calm me but it only made matters worse. It took Gram's appearance beside me before my tears finally stopped. Later, I learned we had been in a car accident. It wasn't until I was much older that my parents revealed the entire story to me. It seems a vehicle broadsided us, which caused our car to skid and spin, and then another vehicle slammed into the back, side section of the car hard enough that I was thrown out of the car through the side window. The rescue team found my parents trapped inside the car, and it wasn't until they were freed that they asked about me, and the rescue team immediately began a search. It took them another twenty minutes before they found me some twenty-five feet away from the accident in the median of the interstate. By then, I had lost a lot of blood and they were not sure if I would survive. My mom contributes my survival to a miracle, but I always figured it related to my strange luck, most of which was bad, but sometimes good things would happen as well."

'Good things,' I thought. 'What good things would ever make up for her near death experience?'

"Edward, you have to stop looking at me like that, or I'll not be able to tell you about the other close calls."

Just the way she was looking at me, reared up my protective side. I hadn't felt protective of anyone ever before, and this feeling was so overwhelming that I reached out and pulled Bella into a tender protective embrace. Then I arranged us so that Bella was sitting in my lap, and I held her even closer but still controlled the embrace so as not to crush her. "I could have missed ever finding you," I finally said. The realization of that truth flooded me with a new pain; an overwhelming sense of what I could have lost before I had ever found it. I was beginning to realize that experiencing human emotions as a vampire were much more overwhelming then I had ever imagined before.

I remember Carlisle once telling me that until I found someone I could really have feelings for, I would never truly understand how the rest of them felt about their mates. The discussion was a result of some comment I had made about something Emmett and Rose had experienced; now I realized the emotional intensity the situation must have caused them and I felt slightly guilty about taunting them at the time.

Bella stared up at me as she asked softly and tenderly, "Edward, are you alright?"

I gazed down at her precious face and smiled as I replied, "Yes, I just never have had this much feeling coursing through me before. What I'm feeling now, in fact, everything I've felt since that first kiss last night is all so new to me. Sometimes the intensity of these feelings is a little devastating and yet awe-inspiring while still emotionally draining," I chuckled as I admitted the last part, "I wonder how humans can survive all these emotions."

Bella reached up and caressed my cheek. "Maybe we don't feel as deeply; I could see the depth of the pain in your eyes when you mentioned the idea of never finding me, and now I can see the depth of your love in them as well. The fact that you can feel that deeply about me is a little scary and a little overwhelming for me."

"Why?" I asked – I hoped I wasn't finally scaring her away from me now that she had accepted me. My future plans now included having her in my life forever and that wouldn't happen if I now scared her away when I was this close to reaching my newly conceived goal..

"Because I know I can never return that love to you as deeply as what you are giving to me. My emotions are inadequate in intensity compared to yours," she sadly admitted.

"No, you're wrong about that. The fact that you can have any feelings for me besides revulsion and fear makes your emotions more than adequate. As far as I'm concerned, it makes you extremely special therefore making your feelings for me extraordinarily special." I held her to me just a little bit tighter while still being careful to watch her reaction for pain.

"How did I ever get so lucky as to deserve you at all?" A loving smile spread across her face and lit up her expressive eyes.

"I guess we suffer from role reversal because I'm the one that really should be asking you that," I returned her smile and caressed her cheek causing it to turn a lovely shade of pink. "So, tell me your next death defying event; I think I'm ready for it now."

"Yeah, well this happened when I was ten and it was more bizarre." This time she took a deep breath before continuing. "I had nagged my parents all summer about the state fair . . .," she paused and frowned slightly before continuing, "Maybe I should explain that a little more. With my dad's job, we tend to move around a lot, and for the first time we had actually lived in the same location for almost two years and I had actually made a few friends. These friends had told me about the state fair and how much fun it was. They said everyone went, and that I just had to go this year, so that is why I nagged my parents about going. At first, my dad was against it because he was sure I would get hurt. My dad became more overly protective as my injuries continued, but mom finally persuaded him to take us. She said it would be a fun family event, and that they would both be there to keep an eye on me." She paused again and I saw her eyebrows crease a little.

Those kinds of facial expressions perked my interest in what she was thinking, but even though my curiosity was at a maximum peak, I could never penetrate that brick wall that surrounded her thoughts. Before I could ask her what she was thinking about, or what was bothering her, she continued.

"No one ever discovered what caused the animal to go berserk, but my fun afternoon at the state fair turned into an emergency trip to the hospital. It all happened so fast that I was unconscious before I ever realized what happened." Bella took a hold of my hand that was resting on her waist, raised it to her warm pale cheek, and then lowered it to her lips and kissed it. "This is getting harder than I thought. I'm beginning to realize how much I could have really lost," her voice hitched at that point, and she began kissing each of my fingers.

Each finger began to tingle with electrical charges and warmth as her lips touched them, and once again the charges shot through my entire body ending in my toes. I felt a slight vibration in my chest as well, which caused me to stop breathing while wondering what was happening to me. It wasn't until my breath stopped that I realized the vibration was coming from Bella as her slender body was shaking.

"Bella, are you okay," I asked with concern as I tried to discover why she was shaking.

She dropped my hand and turned in my lap; I was sitting cross-legged, and she had been sitting in the hollow that my legs had created. Now she moved her legs over my leg so she was sitting sideways in the hollow; she nestled into my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Edward, I could have died without ever meeting you," she finally sobbed. "How horrible that idea is. It saddens me more than anything ever has before. I don't think I could face the idea of ever losing you again. Last night, when I thought you hated me it was awful, but now, knowing you do love me, I don't think I could survive if we were ever apart for any reason."

"Bella, we will never lose each other. I promise." I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on the top of her head while pulling her closer. I felt her body mold to mine as if we were two pieces of a puzzle finding the matching notches in each other that joined us together. I once again realized I had no desire to leave or lose her ever; the force of that insight inundated me just because of its sheer potency. I never knew my feelings could run this deeply or strongly. It made me understand how much I needed her and I would never be able to survive without her. If I thought my existence was meaningless at times before, I knew at that moment without her, my existence would just cease completely. Why had no one told me that love, when it happened, would unite me to the one I loved forever with such strong ties that there would be no going back? My existence had permanently changed the day Bella had entered my life, but it had taken me almost a year to comprehend that fact.

It had taken no time for these thoughts to fly through my consciousness, and even though it was short, I realized that Bella's tears had continued to flow. "Please Bella, don't cry. I give you my word that we will remain together forever."

"No, Edward, everything goes wrong when I'm at my happiest. The car accident, the bull, the boat, they were all times when I was extremely happy, but none of them even come close to how happy I feel right now. They were all life threatening accidents; cataclysms I had no control over; they all took me to the brink of death or just beyond it, but at no time had I ever been this euphoric," she sobbed harder as she added, "Edward, I fear that whatever catastrophe will be drawn to me next, I won't outlive it."

I kept one arm on her waist and raised the other to her shoulder; I realized I was cradling her to my chest like a child, but I didn't share a father's feelings. I not only wanted to comfort her, but I wanted to smother her in kisses; I wanted to kiss and caress away her fear; I wanted to extract every hurt and pain from her and into me. I wanted to engulf her in a cornucopia of safety, peace, and happiness that nothing would be able to decimate it.

I felt words would never be enough, but I offered them anyway. "Bella, I refuse to give you up to anything or anybody. Between Alice and I, we will be see and hear anything that might happen to endanger you. You have become much too precious to me and I refuse to lose you. I wish there was a way to help you understand just how much I love you."

I felt Bella shudder slightly, take a deep breath, and then say, "Isn't this hard for you?"

"Isn't what hard for me?" I asked slightly confused.

"Being this close to me?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because of my blood, I thought it was irresistible to you, that it was what drew you to me in the first place; it was the reason why you came to my room at night, and the reason why you avoided me during the day. I know you love me – I'm accepting what you've said as true, but still, isn't my blood a major attraction?"

I loved the way Bella thought. I loved her odd questions that seemed to crop up at the most unusual times, and because it was an odd question at an even odder moment, I couldn't suppress the chuckle that slipped out as I replied, "Bella, your blood is as potent as ever, but the love I feel for you is stronger now than any desire I ever had for your blood. Even if I wanted to, I could never do anything to harm you and that includes drinking your blood. You must realize I stopped endangering you life the moment I acknowledged my love for you. The funny thing about that was I stopped coming to you at night before I ever understood that my thirst had changed. In the beginning, I thirsted for your blood, but it took longer for me to recognize the change. Now I only thirst for your love. Being with you like this isn't hard where your blood is concerned, what is hard now is not spending all day kissing every visible part of your skin, or caressing you face while whispering words of heartfelt devotion in your ear."

"I think I like that idea Edward," she murmured as she tilted her head up and gazed enchantingly into my eyes.

I hated to change the subject, but curiosity still overwhelmed me, "Bella, tell me about the bull and the boat."

I watched her lips form a perfect circle as she uttered, "Oh." Then she looked down while drawing closer to me in my lap. "Well, like I said, I didn't know what happened until after I woke up in the hospital . . . Wait, I did mention that didn't I?"

I smiled knowing she wouldn't see it since she was curled in my lap with her head hung down, but I kept the humor out of my voice as I replied, "Not exactly, but it was implied."

"Oh, okay; anyway, after it was all over, mom told me that I had been gored by a bull and flipped. When I landed, I broke my leg. The gore wound wasn't life threatening because it had been a young bull and the horns were short, and only one actually got me, what turned serious was the infection that developed later. The infection nearly killed me; I was in the hospital for three weeks because of it. Mom cried a lot, but I was finally able to go home, and then it was just a matter of healing."

"And the boat?" I asked enjoying her fragile intensely warm form nestled close to me. I noticed that even though her blood still smelt tempting, she emitted other aromas that were even more beguiling.

"That was just stupid, but still an accident. Dad had a friend who had a motorboat, and he took us all out skiing. I was thirteen at the time. I couldn't wait for my turn on the skis and dad insisted that I wear a life jacket. It wasn't as if I couldn't swim, but one has to be conscious in order to swim."

It didn't take much on my part to realize how this story would end. As Bella spoke I could visualize her standing in the boat leaning over to see everything that was happening and then the atypical – yet typical for her – introduction of some airborne object hitting her in the head causing her to fall overboard, at the same time snagging her life jacket on a protruding cleat that pulled it off as she went overboard. The fact that the airborne object had caused a slight concussion that caused Bella to pass out, only guaranteed her drowning. Her father's quick thinking friend pulled her out swiftly and started mouth to mouth bringing her back to life. If it weren't for the intelligence I had seen in Bella's logical thinking and advanced schoolwork, I would have suspected she had suffered brain damage; it would be the one explanation about why she showed no fear toward my family or me or why I couldn't hear her thoughts.

She had shared with me the three worst events in her life; events that brought her face to face with death, and because of that I should have known better than asking her, "So, rough estimate, how many non-deadly mishaps have you had?"

"I wouldn't even hazard a guess, but it is probably a good thing that you don't have access to my medical records. It's bad enough that your father has seen them . . ." she looked up at me quickly, "wait a minute," I saw a hardness form in her eyes, "has he ever thought about them after one of my visits to the hospital? Have you already seen some of it through his eyes?" As she spoke, I watched a crease form in her forehead and a frown on her lips as she began to imagine the worst.

In as reassuring a tone as possible, I replied, "No Bella, he has not," and then I realized the part about her visits and inquired, "When did you have to see Carlisle in the hospital?" I might have been avoiding her, but I hadn't realized she had suffered any severe injuries the past year.

"Early last spring, not long after the last time you came into my room. We had that sudden cold snap and I got sick. Mom rushed me to the emergency because I had a fever, and your dad happened to be on call that night. I felt comfortable seeing him because I had already made friends with Alice and Emmett so I had seen him around the house a few times and he had always smiled and greeted me cordially when I saw him. He has a very nice bedside manner according to all the nurses I met that night," she blushed slightly at that comment.

"Well, I'm not sure if I want him that near you then. I might be jealous of anyone else who is too friendly," I smiled at her and then winked to prove I was joking.

"Oh, then maybe you should be more jealous of Emmett," she replied quickly with a bright mischievous smile.

I laughed as I replied, "I don't think I have to worry about him too much. If he ever got too friendly with you in an unacceptable way, it would be Rose who would do more damage to him than me."

"She does scare me sometimes," Bella admitted with the first real shudder I ever saw from her when referring to my family.

"Finally, a normal reaction to being around a vampire," I proclaimed.

Her smile became even wider as she replied, "Rose would scare me even if she were human. She is the only person I know who can burn you with her eyes while she is smiling at you." Bella began to squirm a little in my lap and then said, "Edward, I need to get up, I think my leg fell asleep."

I hadn't realized she had become uncomfortable while sitting in my lap, but I gently lifted her off my lap and helped her stand, but I kept an arm around her waist and it was a good thing I did because as I set her on the floor, her leg wobbled a little. "Maybe we should walk around a little to help your circulation."

"Yeah, I should get my blood flowing more so it can tempt you more," she laughed.

"Bella," I scolded lightly, "that isn't funny."

"I'm sorry; I think some of Emmett has rubbed off on me. He has an unusual sense of humor, and I've had almost a year of his influence and only one day of yours. Maybe, I need more of your influence now in my life." She smiled sweetly up at me.

I noticed a stray hair brushing her cheek and reached out to tuck it behind her ear, as I did, my fingers caressed her cheek, and a blush crept up her neck and across her cheeks. I also noticed a pronounced redness in her lips. The changes drew me to her and before I was aware of doing it, I found myself embracing and kissing her. I was beginning to discover that kissing Bella was an extremely intense emotional high for me; I easily lost all connection with the world and found her nearness, warmth, softness, and sweet aroma exhilarating me. In addition, she caused heady vibrations to surge through me that electrified my entire being. I had lost all sense of time, and I didn't break off the kiss until I realized Bella was no longer breathing.

"Bella, are you okay," concern embodied my words.

"Hmm?" she asked with closed eyes and her mouth turned up in a sweet enthralled smile.

"You had me worried for a moment," I replied.

"Why?" She still had the same enchanted look and her eyes closed while a heady smile played across her sumptuous lips. It looked as if she were in some other world.

"You stopped breathing."

Her eyes opened slowly and gazed into mine, "Did I really?" Her voice still had an ethereal quality as she spoke.

"Yes, it scared me. I thought I might have asphyxiated you with that kiss."

"Oh no, Edward; it was heavenly. I guess I was so caught up in the emotional elation of the moment, that I just stopped breathing."

From her tone, I wondered if she was still experiencing some 'emotional elation.' "Maybe we should go downstairs and continue our talk."

"Why?" I could tell she was coming back down to solid ground from the change in her tone.

I laughed as I replied, "It might be safer for your health. While I can survive if I stop breathing, you, my enchanting Bella, cannot."

"You could fix that you know," her smile expanded as she spoke.

"And how exactly could I fix it?" I asked not really thinking about what she had said, but still enthralled by the heavenly appeal of our last kiss.

"You could change me," she offered softly as if testing the words on me without knowing what response she would receive.

Those words brought me crashing back to earth, not because I hadn't thought about that option, but because she could not fully understand the ramifications that option would have on her life.

"Do you know what you are asking?" I wasn't sure what Alice or Emmett might have shared with her about being changed, but now was the time to find out, I decided.

"Yes, I want to be like you. I want to stop being afraid that I'll lose you forever because of some stupid accident."

"What about your parents? What about your friends? What about the human things you will have to give up?" I asked, still wondering how much she really understood she would lose in the process of changing.

"What about them? Edward, if I lose them, I would survive, but if I lose you, I won't. Not anymore, not after learning you love me even more than I, as a human, am capable of loving you." Just as I was about to rebuttal, she placed her hand on my mouth. "Even if you decide you don't love me anymore, it won't change how I feel about you. I do not fall in and out of love. My love for you will not go away; if it were possible, I would have fallen out of love with you six months ago when I thought I had lost you forever, even with Alice and Emmett assuring me that that was not the case. I'm committed to my feelings, Edward, and nothing will change them now."

I gently removed her hand and kissed the palm of it. "Bella, I will never tell you I don't love you. It would be the worst lie I would ever utter because it is too late for me as well. It is now impossible for me to fall out of love with you, and I'm not going to deny that fact. What worries me is if you truly understand everything you will have to sacrifice for becoming like me, and the changes you will have to face." I could see she was ready to protest, so this time I placed my hand on her mouth while still retaining her hand in mine. "It's not only that Bella, but it will be safer if we wait until you are a little older."

I removed my hand from her sweet soft mouth as she looked deeply into my eyes; I suspected she was looking for truth or lack of it in them as she asked, "What does age have to do with it?"

"How much have Alice and Emmett told you about being changed?" I decided I could go from what they had already told her.

"Just that it hurts, a lot, and I mean really 'a lot', at least from what they said. Beyond that, they haven't said much of anything except that it would be up to you more than anyone else if I get changed." She looked deeper into my eyes as she asked with a slight hitch in her voice, "Don't you want me to be changed?"

The pain of rejection I saw reflected in her eyes made me readily admit, "More than anything, but there are complications that can occur if a person is too young, and I'm not willing to take any risks where you are concerned. This was not something I was going to discuss with you yet, because I wasn't sure how you would feel about it, but Bella, I feel the same way you do about losing you. I could not survive without you; I wouldn't want to survive without you, so what alternative do I have but changing you; however, I would like to wait a few years . . ."

"How many years?" she interrupted with a gruffness in her voice.

I smiled reassuringly as I replied, "At least until you graduate. That would be a good time for a lot of reasons."

"Is it because I would be leaving home and starting my own life anyway?" She asked while the frown remained on her lovely kissable lips.

A frown that I was very much tempted to kiss away, and so much so, that I replied, "Yes," and then promptly applied the lightest, gentlest kiss I could to her inviting lips.

As I pulled away, she moaned, "That's not fair."

Her comment instantly prompted me to ask, "What's not fair Bella?"

"Bribing me with such a kiss, but then stopping before it was really finished," I noticed her closed eyes as she spoke, and she was leaning toward me as if in anticipation of more.

There was no resisting her request, so I murmured, "I'll try never to leave anything unfinished again," just before wrapping her lovingly in my arms and kissing her once again with feeling, and what feelings they were. It is a good thing I never understood what I was missing all these years, because once I tasted it, I would never be able to accept giving it up, not for anyone, or for any reason. How any vampire could ever survive the loss of his soul mate was a mystery I did not want to research, especially from a personal perspective. At that moment, Bella could have asked me anything and I would have given it to her, even immortality.

As I realized that, I slowly began to release her, and as our lips finally parted, I murmured, "We really need to go downstairs and join the family. I think we have kept Alice waiting long enough."

Bella slowly stepped back from me, smiled in response, and took my hand as we walked out of the bedroom and headed downstairs to join my family, who I knew had been listening to most of what we had shared while we were 'supposedly' alone.

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**AN: A review shows us that you have enjoyed this chapter, so please be kind and leave on for us. If nothing else, leave one for Edward.**


	16. Chapter 16 What Edward Didn't Know

**AN: Characters aren't mine.**

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**Chapter Six – What Edward Didn't Know 2007 – by Emmett Cullen**

Okay, before Edward gets too far into the story, the reader, and maybe even Bella and Edward, should know some things about Bella's birthday party. First, I notice that Edward did not mention that her birthday was on Monday that year, and Alice had arranged the party for Friday night so that she could arrange her big sleepover with Bella.

Okay, so who knew – maybe Alice did – that Edward would be the one sleeping, so to say, with Bella and not Alice? I also have to admit that it feels so strange adding to Bella's story, but there were things Edward didn't know about Bella and the family. Right now, as pre-planned, Alice has taken Bella and Edward shopping. Oh and she made Jasper go as well.

We – Alice, Jasper, and I – decided I would be the one to write this chapter because I became involved sooner than Jasper, and besides, he uses too many highfalutin words. Hey, I've read some of those fan fictions stories, and I must say some people don't give me credit for how many years I've gone to school. It just so happens that I like simpler more down to earth phrases, and I also like the ones that are odd and memorable; still, I really do know almost as many words as Jasper, I just don't use them very often – if at all.

I do have to admit, when we accidentally found out what Edward was doing every time he hid away in his room, we laughed about it, but as we talked it over, we decided it was an interesting idea, so we have taken turns sneaking into the room whenever he is gone to read what he has written. We figured he would probably find some way to torture each of us after he found out what we have done, but Bella intervened for us and smoothed everything out to everyone's satisfaction except Edward's – at least at that time; he seems to be okay with it now since he has begun to write and post again.

Anyway, my siblings and I talked to Bella about adding to the story when we saw a need. As I said, there were things that we knew that Edward and Bella didn't about those early days. Because of that talk, we now have a say in Bella's story, since we – at least Alice, Jasper, and I – were a part of it much earlier than Edward. Of course, both Bella and Edward have veto-power over what can be posted, but I thought I would write this, post it, and then show it to them, so if it should disappear later you will know why.

When Bella first arrived, Alice – almost literally – had to drag Jasper into the friendship with Bella, but I came willingly when Alice approached me. Hell, I take every chance I can to have fun, and I knew this would be fun. Besides, it turned out that Bella makes one hell of a sister. She's fun, she laughs easily, and when she was human, she had that quirky habit of blushing and falling which was always good for a laugh. Now, don't get me wrong about the falling part – you see somebody was always around to catch her, and after Edward finally came to his senses, he was always around to catch her, and that only caused her to blush more. I really enjoyed the fact that she turned more different shades of red than I realized existed. I guess that is the one thing about Bella that I miss – the fact that it was so much fun to make her blush. Of course, I do have to admit that she is now more fun because I don't have to worry about accidentally hurting her. Oh, and did I mention that she is extremely ticklish – I didn't learn that until after her change either.

Well, back to what I meant to write concerning Bella's birthday party. It was early in the Edward-Bella relationship – as Alice and I dubbed it – that we knew Edward had fallen in love with her; too bad he was too dense to realize he loved the girl almost more than he loved her blood. Funny how blood lust can cloud a person's thinking, but Alice and I agreed that it was the cause of Edward's cloudy thinking. All his mind could see was her blood; he focused all of his senses on the scent of her blood, but we knew his heart focused only on the girl. Why else would he resist her blood? Of course, Alice's little talent also helped, because she saw early on that these two were destined for each other.

What Edward hadn't learned yet was how truelove affects us. We don't just fall in love, no every part of our being longs for, desires, and craves the one who is targeted by our love, and we have no control of who we fall in love with. When it happens, it just happens and none of our enhanced vampire abilities can stop it from happening. The result of trying to stop it would be the same as those cartoon characters who stand in front of a train to stop it and the train just runs them over – I use that analogy because it does not kill us, it just overwhelms us to the extent that once it slams into us, we cannot stop it.

Now losing the loved individual that you have bonded with can actually lead to a vampire's demise only because the vampire seeks the ultimate destructions because there is no existence left. It would be as if our body was a hollow shell with no feelings but eternal pain and misery caused by the loss and our only desire is to end our unbearably miserable existence.

Okay, so you are probably wondering how I know all of this; well, Carlisle and Jasper are the ultimate researchers – they are always asking why, how come, or how does that work, and in order to get those answers they have to go out and seek them, and that is just what they do. One of their researches brought them in contact with a vampire who had lost his mate, and they agreed to help him if he would answer their questions first. Carlisle said it was the most misery he had seen suffered by any one individual, and he has witnessed many humans losing a loved one and none of them compared to the suffering of this one vampire who lost his truelove – or as some dub it, his soul-mate – of course, that term is only true if we truly retain our souls, which both Carlisle and Bella believe we do and who am I to argue with them.

Now, someone might wonder why we don't intentionally avoid falling in love. That is a nice idea, but let's return to the animated train for a moment. Sure, in real life, you see the train coming and you can get out of the way, but love is not visible, so this would be more like an invisible train. It might be barreling down on you, ready to slam you hard, but you just cannot see it, so – wham! – it hits you, and when it does it hits hard, and once hit, well it is just too late to undo it. With Edward, it was a double wham; he was beset by the smell of her siren like blood, and then he fell in love; however, the blood took front seat in the beginning, and it wasn't until later that his love for her shifted into action. That was probably about the time he decided to put some distance between them, but that became hard because his emotional side began to over-ride his thirst side.

Anyway, with all of that in mind, Alice was determined to help Edward see what Bella truly meant to him, and I decided it would be fun to help. Besides, it is not often that I get to see Edward vulnerable and completely in the dark when it comes to dealing with a human, especially one who was as innocent, sincere, and breakable as Bella.

Therefore, after Alice had her first vision concerning the two, she took it upon herself to build a friendship with Bella, and as a result, the three of us siblings gathered a vast array of knowledge about Bella that Edward didn't know and some interesting information about Edward himself. We found out that it galled Edward that he couldn't read Bella's mind, and as a result he didn't learn anything about her during his first few months being around her – that's his one major weaknesses, he relies on listening to people's thoughts to learn about them and takes no time to talk to them. Alice and I took plenty of time to talk to her, and as a result, we learned more about her and her life prior to coming to Tacoma. We also learned – not because she told us but because we watched her – that she was in love with Edward probably from the first day she met him. The problem was we knew she loved him and he loved her but neither of them realized that the other one loved them in return. Such a sad state of affairs, but Alice and I both agreed that we had to do something to open their eyes.

At first, we came up with subtle ways to throw them together. The first step was inviting Bella over to the house every chance we got. Being the thickheaded fool he was – and sometimes still is, Edward would run of like a scared rabbit and hide from the poor girls. She would be so crest-fallen when she discovered he was absent from our little gatherings that it only reinforced the fact for us that she was desperately in love with him. As I watched the two of them flounder in their relationship, I become more thankful every day that Rose wasn't as obstinate as Edward was, and that my flirting with her had been effective. It didn't take Rose and I long to set a date and tie the knot.

'Tying the knot' is one of my favorite terms about getting married, but Rose hated it until the one year we got married and I made a new tradition for us. I brought a blood red ribbon to the ceremony and after the exchange of the rings, I had Jasper – whose turn it was to be my best man – take the ribbon and tie our two ringed hands together as a symbol of our being bound together forever. From then on, Rose insisted it become a part of every one of our future wedding ceremonies. Okay, enough about Rose and me.

Alice and I actually started simple by trying to teach Bella how to flirt. Her first and only attempt was such a disaster that we gave up on that idea. All she had to do was walk up to Edward, smile coyly, and tell him that she dreamt about him coming into her room to sample her blood, and then she was supposed to tell him how sensual the act felt, like a lover caressing her neck. It was too bad Bella wasn't comfortable with the lines I wrote for her, and in the end, she just walked off blushing, and then later she cried on Alice's shoulder declaring what a fool she had made of herself in front of Edward.

Bella was just too innocent, and she didn't make a good flirt when she thought about what she was doing. There was one good result, as Bella walked away, I watched Edward watch her and his eyes were riveted on the swing of her hips. Bella never made a good intentional flirt, but without conscious effort, Bella made an excellent flirt – she just didn't know it, but I saw how it affected Edward and decided her unconscious flirtation was better than anything I could have ever planned. For the first time since he met her, he finally noticed her as more than nourishment.

In the end, however, we erased flirting from Bella's arsenal of lures, and we decided to go back to the drawing board to develop a new plan. It was just about that time that we found out Bella's birthday was approaching, and Alice jumped on the idea of a party. Alice is a party-holic, she loves planning and giving them. In her mind, a party was the only way to bring the two of them together.

Two weeks before Bella's birthday, Alice had a vision of Bella and Edward's wedding. I had to admit, that vision made me a confirmed believer in the fact that Edward was falling in love with Bella, but as Rose once commented, he 'believed' he knew everything and that he could never make a mistake. Well, to some extent, he was right; when he could read the minds of everyone around him, he knew exactly what to do to obtain the results he wanted. That must have made his existence boring; there was no challenge when dealing with others and that applied to more than just humans because it seemed like there wasn't a mind anywhere around that he didn't have access too, well, at least until Bella appeared in his life. She changed everything for him; she was the first person who provided his first actual challenge. Not only was her mind closed to him, but also her blood was his 'siren's call.' Now, that is what I call a challenge. In my opinion, it is what he needed to force him out of his 'I'm infallible' attitude.

Anyway, Bella's birthday party was a carefully orchestrated event. From the guest list to the games to ending with the soft slow music, we planned all of it carefully so it would to stir up the romance between the two. Personally, I had my own idea of how we could bring them together _during_ the party.

We all anticipated the day of the birthday party and we carefully arranged every facet of the event. Alice wanted to leave nothing to chance. In fact, the spin the bottle game was the most carefully planned event of the entire evening, and it all hinged on two bottles, four magnets, and a seating arrangement. I was so thankful my wife was a mechanical genius because she helped rig the entire game, much like they rig roulette wheels in some casinos, and it was never in doubt that the humans wouldn't see me switching bottles, but distracting Edward so he wouldn't see was the hard part.

It fell to Alice and Rose to distract Edward anytime I switched the bottles, and because each bottle had a magnet, and the spots under the rugs in front of Bella and Edward also had a magnet, we just used the poles of them to attract and deflect depending on who spun. I was never in doubt that anyone but Jasper, Edward, or I would get time alone in the closet with Bella, and we decided that Edward would only get one chance with her, and it would be the last spin of the game. That it turned out as well as it did was what surprised all of us.

The kiss in the closet became a closely guarded secret after the event. Neither Edward nor Bella would ever tell any of us what actually happened, not even years afterwards when we would reminisce about the event; instead, they would just look at each other and smile. I always knew something more than just the simple kiss like Alice had seen happened, but it wasn't until we all read his chapter about 'the kiss' that we discovered all the juicy details. That must have been some kiss – now I wish I hadn't knocked on the door; who knows where that kiss could have lead to if I hadn't interrupted by opening that d door!

Well, step one worked, sort of – the kiss made Edward aware of how he really felt, but my inadvertent premature interruption caused Edward to utter the words that caused Bella to believe he regretted kissing her.

Step two, then, fell to Alice when she followed Bella upstairs, and here is where vampire memory comes in great because Alice shared with Jasper and I later what they said and I still remember it verbatim.

Alice found Bella in the guest room – I might add a hastily converted reading room into a guest room because of Alice's decision to have a sleepover with Bella – crying because of Edward's hastily, but thoughtlessly, spoken words. Alice's first thoughts were of comforting Bella but then helping her to realize that she might have misunderstood what Edward was saying.

Bella was sprawled out on the bed when Alice entered the room, so Alice sat down beside her and began to rub her back while she said, "Bella, it's not as bad as it seems."

Without waiting for Alice to say anymore, Bella sobbed, "Yes it is. He regrets even being in the closet with me. It was a mistake Alice, he never liked me, and he never will. Why should he? I'm nothing but a tasty temptation for him and an embarrassment because I caused him to do something he has spent years trying not to do."

"That's not true Bella; don't ever say that."

Bella sat up and stared at Alice while the tears continued to roll down her cheeks. "It is. He said so. He said he was sorry it happened; he was only being nice going in the closet with me and it was my fault. I should never have said anything to him. How could anyone like him feel anything for someone like me?"

"Bella, despite what you think you believe, Edward does have feelings for you, and not just because of you blood. Edward has never avoided anyone as he has tried to avoid you, and it's not because of the blood temptation, it's because he doesn't understand what he is feeling. This is new to him even more new than it is to you. Remember, Edward was changed before he ever had a chance to learn about love, and since then he has never found anyone that he has cared about." Alice said she felt as if Bella was hesitant to believe her. We had all tried so hard to help Bella understand Edward's confusion about love, but I think it was too alien of an idea for her, but Alice persevered anyway. "Bella, if Edward didn't feel anything for you but his desire for you blood, he would not make such an effort to stay away from you. He tries so hard to do the right thing by avoiding you because he does care about you. You just have to give him time to understand how his feelings have changed."

"That sounds nice, Alice, but how could anyone . . . well . . . you know . . .," she sobbed more and Alice knew she was extremely hesitant to say what really happened in the closet.

Alice admitted later that she had seen a kiss; nothing earth shattering, but just a simple little kiss and it was hard for her to understand how it led to Bella rushing out of the closet in tears, or why Edward would say he was sorry it happened. We all heard his words even though he spoke softly, but still, it was only a kiss so why apologize for it.

Anyway, Alice continued to reassure Bella that she misunderstood what Edward meant, not that she really knew, but she was sure he would never say anything to hurt her intentionally. She also convinced Bella that it was not right to send everyone home without allowing them to have cake and watch her open her presents. She then went on to explain to Bella that she needed to show everyone that what happened wasn't a big deal otherwise it would end up being the talk of the school on Monday.

Alice actually was very convincing, because Bella did return to the party and even consented to dance with Edward later in the evening, but what occurred after Bella had retired for the night surprised all of us.

I must admit I was pleasantly stunned that Edward included the talk he had with Rose as one of the chapters. I'll never forget that part of the night; well, I never forget anything anyway, but that part is extremely memorable for me. After their talk, Rose came up to our room saying, "Hey Emmett, guess what?" Then she threw herself on the bed, and exclaimed, "It finally happened. I just can't believe it. The great and mighty one has fallen hard."

I wasn't sure what she was carrying on about at first. Not being able to read minds like Edward, I had to wait for Rose to fill in the blanks, but after she remained silent for a few minutes, I laid down beside her and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Edward, of course – it has finally happened." She rolled her eyes and scornfully informed me, "Mr. 'I Know Everything' has finally been shot down by Cupid's inevitable arrow."

Rose might have felt put out about this turn of event, but I was ready do to a 'happy dance' as they say now. This outcome was what Alice, Jasper, and I had been scheming to bring about for almost a year. We already knew Bella was head-over-heels in love with Edward, and Alice's early vision of Bella joining our family helped spur us on, but Edward was never a cooperative participant. You would have thought that inviting Bella over and keeping her within his sight would have helped him to realize what he was beginning to feel, but he was too stubborn to admit any feeling other than his desire for her blood. It was a good thing that some of us knew better and took action when we did. If we hadn't, he might have lost her forever.

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** Personal note to Edward – I honestly didn't know he was submitting this until it I received the email posting notice, and then I added the AN because he didn't.**


	17. Chapter 17 Family Matters

**AN: Like always, we do not own the original Twilight characters.**

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**Journal Entry Eleven – Family Matters [1958]**

As we came down the stairs we were boisterously greeted by Emmett's comment, "I see the two of you finally came up for air."

Instead of the mild Bella I had come to know, I found a new Bella appear at Emmett's jab.

"Hardy-har, Emmett. I see Rose has found something more interesting than you to occupy her," she retorted playfully.

I heard not only Emmett laughing at her comment but Alice and Jasper as well. Then Alice chimed, "Close your mouth Edward, before you catch a fly in it."

Up until that point, I hadn't realized my mouth had fallen open, but the shock of Bella's sarcastic comeback utterly surprised me.

Emmett laughed even louder as he said, "Good one Bella. You're getting much better at the sarcastic quips."

"Thanks Emmett," she beamed just before turning to gaze at me. I must have looked somewhat concerned, for her smiled faded slightly as she said, "I'm sorry Edward," then she hastily looked at Emmett, who winked at her, before turning back to me and adding, "I told you Emmett was rubbing off on me after spending so much time with him."

At least, I had to admit, she was comfortable around my family, and I couldn't blame her for Emmett, he was always like that, and as for rubbing off on her, that too was my fault because I had been hiding from her most of the past year, but that was definitely going to change.

Emmett wasn't the only one who could make witty remarks, and I decided to show Bella that witty outdid sarcastic every time.

I wrapped my arm lovingly around her shoulder as I said, "Less Emmett time for you my dear. I don't want your parents thinking we are a corrupting element in your life."

Everyone laughed, Bella and I sat down side by side on the sofa and I put my arm around her shoulder, and then we all settled down to enjoy our time together. One major topic of conversation was introduced none too causally by Emmett.

"So Edward, are you going to take the big plunge tomorrow, or will you chicken out?" I watched him smirk at Jasper as he added the last comment. The two of them had been betting again; with Emmett, it was easy to tell because it was in the forefront of his thoughts. 'This should be an easy win. Edward will make some excuse so he can take time to listen in on their thoughts. Too easy in my opinion, he needs to just plunge in.'

I smiled down at Bella as I said, "Jasper, you can collect on Tuesday; I am meeting Bella's parents tomorrow afternoon, and no Alice," I looked up quickly as I heard her thoughts, "we will not be telling them about that, so stop rushing it."

Bella stared lovingly into my eyes and asked, "She didn't really think we would mention marriage, did she?"

I just smiled back and nodded causing her to look over at Alice and reply, "Really, can you just imagine my dad's reaction if Edward told him he wanted to marry me. Alice, my dad is slightly over protective when it comes to me, and that comes from years of watching me narrowly escaping death."

"Well, it's not like marriage and death go together Bella . . ."

"Alice," I raised my voice as I spoke. I had to wonder if she realized what she was saying.

"Bella, when did you start reading minds?" Emmett stared over at her with his mouth slightly open in surprise.

"Not her mind Emmett," Bella laughed, "Her face. Besides, what else would she be thinking about, and Edward did warn me, Alice, that you might be a little over anxious."

"Planning is everything Bella; the sooner I start, the better it will be," Alice chimed back.

For some reason, Alice's comment made them both laugh, and then Bella finally replied, "At least wait until I'm a senior. That will give me time to prepare my parents, until then, allow my dad some time to get use to the idea that I have a boyfriend. That is going to be hard for him as it is; he once said parents shouldn't allow their daughter to date until they were at least twenty; fortunately, mom disagreed with him."

Emmett chuckled as he said, "You could always tell them you're dating a senior citizen."

To which Bella picked up a pillow on the sofa and chucked it at Emmett. I'd never seen this side of Bella before, but what really surprised me was after deftly catching the pillow, he throw it right back at her. As I caught it as it sailed toward her, I growled, "Emmett, you could hurt her!"

All three of my siblings and Bella only responded by laughing which made me feel as if I had completely missed the joke.

"Don't have a cow Edward," Emmett retorted, "we do this all the time, and I'm fully aware of how fragile she is."

Bella smiled up at me reassuringly, "It's okay Edward, Emmett and I are always trying to one-up each other, and he was been extremely careful since . . . oops," and she covered her mouth quickly.

"Since what Bella?" They were all hiding something because her slipped cause every one of them instantly to think about some trivial fact. Alice started repeating nursery rhymes, Jasper began doing the multiplication tables, and Emmett instantly began to imagine what Rose was doing in the garage.

My frustration grew at their mental lockouts, and I growled deeper as I said, "Someone had better tell me what happened."

Bella removed her hand from her mouth as she looked around the room, then she took my face between her hand and stared directly into my eyes. "Edward, please don't get upset, but over the past year we have learned to make adjustments so no one gets hurt."

"You really mean so you don't get hurt," I smiled at the deep concern I saw buried in her eyes, and she was right, the four of them had most of the year to become acquainted and build up a friendship, and during all of that, I had mostly avoided her.

"Okay, so I'm not the easiest person to be around – because of the accidents, I mean – but overall, we have been able to avoid anything to serious."

"Yah, and it's not like I broke her hand," Emmett chimed with a grin.

I pulled Bella's hands from my face and instantly turned toward Emmett, "You broke her hand?" It came out as a low rumbling roar.

"Edward," Bella said almost in the same tone I had heard Esme use when she was reprimanding one of us boys. "Emmett did not break my hand. It was only a small fracture, and it really was my fault, not his. How was I supposed to know that hitting him would be like slamming my hand into a concrete wall? We were actually lucky because Carlisle was home at the time and he took care of it instantly. I only had to wear the brace for three weeks."

The mention of the brace brought back an image I remembered. It had been shortly after the last late night visit I had paid her and it was a Monday morning. I had seen her fumbling at her locker having a problem opening it; it had been tempted to help her but then Emmett walked up to her and more politely than usual for him said, "_Please, let me help you with that. I kind of owe you, so if you need anything, let me know."_ I had wondered at the time what he meant and now it all made sense.

I felt myself taking a deep breath to help calm myself just before asking, "Just how many accidents have you had while visiting my family."

Bella looked up guiltily. I had a feeling she would hold back unless I made it clear that I would not get upset, so I gave her the broadest smile possible before softly whispering, "It's okay, I just want to know."

"You have to remember Edward, it's not like anyone is out to purposely hurt me, and I have just as many accidents at home as I do here," she was nervously twisting her hands and keeping her face averted.

"Edward, don't scare her, and we have all exerted ourselves to be extremely careful where Bella is concerned," Emmett admonished.

"I have to concur with him Edward. We have all been extra watchful, but some things are so unexpected that even Alice can't catch all of them." Jasper added. It was the most he had said since Bella and I had arrived downstairs.

I had to admit to myself that they were all probably right. I know how each of them felt about Bella; that had been obvious to me for some time. To Alice, Bella was her best friend and the only real friend she had ever had, and as for Emmett, Bella was a little sister and he put himself forward to protect her anytime he saw anything that might offend or harm her. I had seen it at school a couple of times, especially at lunch. The last time was about a month ago when some boy tried to whisper something he thought was provocative in her ear; I guess he was trying to impress her, but Emmett had been right beside her when it happened. I had seen him lean toward the boy as he said, _"That's my little sister you're speaking to, next time I won't warn you, I'll just swing."_

With that in mind, I calmly replied, "I know none of you would intentionally hurt Bella, but just so I know what to expect from this point on, someone please tell me how many times she has been hurt while she has been here visiting."

"Do you want just the number, or do you want the details?" Alice asked.

I looked down at Bella, who finally was looking at me again, and replied, "I'm almost afraid to ask for details," but I made sure I smiled at her as I said it.

Happiness flooded me as she smiled back even as she replied, "Too many to really count, but most were minor every day incidents like stubbed toes, trips, a few minor bruises from bumping into things." I could tell she was concentrating on the numerous variety of every day mishaps she was capable of encountering because of the little furrow that appeared in her forehead, "and a few minor scraps," she paused but then hurriedly added, "but no blood."

"Don't forget the big sliver you got," Emmett added.

"A big sliver?" I asked.

"Emmett's making more of it then it really was," Bella countered for my benefit while staring at Emmett.

"Well it hurt enough to make you cry," Emmett countered.

I watched carefully as the two of they spoke back and forth, so I saw the glower Bella shot at him with that comment. I could tell she wasn't happy that he had offered that bit of information, and from the set of her lips, I knew she was not willing to go into any more detail about the incident, so I asked Emmett, "Just what happened to cause this 'big sliver'?"

"Well, you remember that 'ding' we put in the floor the last time we were wrestling and we didn't want Esme to see it so we placed that rug over it?" He offered and I nodded in response. "Well, Bella had come over one afternoon just after it rained and her shoes were muddy, so she took them off. As is normal for Bella, she found the one unsafe spot in the floor – our 'ding' – and the one slippery spot, which happened to be right by the damaged wood. As a result, she slid across the slippery spot into the rug moving it out of the way and as her foot slid over the damaged wood, she received a huge sliver in her foot. Then she did two things at the same time; first she clamped her hand over her mouth as she cried out in pain and said _"Don't tell anyone."_ Then the tears started running down her cheeks. She was very brave Edward; she didn't scream once while I was pulling it out." Emmett was smiling at Bella as he recounted the incident, but I felt guilty because in my mind I should have been there to make sure something like that didn't happen.

"How big is 'huge' Emmett?" The worst part about Bella's injury, in my mind, was it was mostly my fault because while we wrestled, my elbow hit and damaged the floor, and I knew how much Esme admired her beautiful hardwood floors, but instead of trying fixing it, we hid the damage. Not only had I not been present to save her from the pain, but I had also been responsible for the damaged that caused Bella's injury.

"Oh, it was about a foot long and maybe just a wide," Emmett joked as he used his hands to exaggerate the dimensions since something that big would never have penetrated Bella's foot.

For her part, Bella just laughed and amended, "It was only about a quarter of an inch wide and maybe an inch long."

"But it was really buried in there. Remember how I had to use that special tool from Carlisle bag to grab it and pull it out." His directed the first of his comment to Bella, but then focused on me as he finished, "I had to be extremely careful so it didn't break off while pulling it out, and then the blood afterwards. I never thought a foot could bleed that much," and then his smile increased as he added, "And your right Edward, Bella's blood is extra sweet." At his comment, a pillow zipped past me as Bella hurled the largest one she had found on the sofa. Emmett easily deflected the first pillow but not the one that Alice threw seconds after Bella's and Alice's had more speed as well as power behind it.

Although neither pillow knocked him off the couch, I would gladly have done it if Bella hadn't grabbed my shoulder right after flinging the pillow. "He didn't Edward," Bella replied quickly in response to Emmett comment about the blood. I don't know what she saw in my face, but it was something that made her strongly want to reassure me that nothing had happened because she continued, "Really Edward, nothing like that happened. Emmett was so busy trying to clean up and bandage the wound that he didn't have time, and afterward he helped me clean the mess up off the floor, so if he sampled any of it, he would have had to lick it up from the floor. Okay, that really sounds nasty," she made a face as she said it. "Can you imagine all the dirt that would have been mixed in with it?"

"Well, at least it got a rise out you," Emmett smirked at me. "I'm not totally stupid Edward. Sure, it smelt good, but Bella was in pain and crying and my first thought was to relieve her agony. I did the same thing for her that I would have done for my own sister. I got out the antiseptic and a big band aide and patched up the wound. Of course, with my little sister, I use to kiss her 'owies', as she called them, to help make them better, but we both know how Rose would have responded to that."

"Actually, Edward," Bella added, "Emmett was very gentle and professional, and it actually sounds worse than it really was. In fact, a few days later Emmett insisted I allow Dr. Carlisle to look at it to make sure it wasn't infected. He really does make a great 'big brother', and I always wanted an older brother." Her smile at Emmett lit up her entire face and I could tell the two of them had developed a very special sibling relationship, which also seemed to include the bickering and teasing.

If I hadn't discovered how I felt about Bella, I'm sure her 'big brother' would have had words with me sooner rather than later about the matter, and he would have confronted me with her true feelings and how I needed to address them without hurting her. I did have to admit, even if a little grudgingly, that Emmett understood Bella a little better at that time than I did, and he had a more secure relationship with her at that time. I was a little envious of the fact and regretted all the time I had wasted by not being more in tune to my true feeling for Bella.

"So, not to change the subject, but to get to the more interesting and upcoming possible events – Edward, are you going to ask Bella to the Halloween Dance?" Alice chimed in, and if I didn't know better, she already knew the answer to the question right after she asked it. "I only mention this because if you wait until Tuesday, Bella will have at least five pre-planned invitations she will have to deal with come Monday, and can't see the unplanned ones that might occur."

Bella groaned softly as she leaned her head against my shoulder. I might have decided I was becoming better at deciphering her unspoken responses if it hadn't been for the fact that Emmett, upon hearing her response, said, "I'll shield you from them Bella, and if I need to, I'll twist his arm so he'll ask you."

It was becoming extremely evident that Emmett was going to become an obnoxious big brother who might possibly get in the way of my developing relationship with Bella, so to prevent his further intervention I turned toward Bella, took both her hands, and softly asked, "Bella, will you go to the Halloween Dance with me."

She didn't even hesitate with her answer, "No."

"What?" Three voices chimed at the same time.

Bella tilted her head slightly as she focused her eyes completely on mine. "Edward, you were my partner for the square dancing last year. Can you understand why I wouldn't want to go to a dance?"

I chuckled softly as I remembered how often she stepped on mine and everyone else's feet, how often she stumbled over her own feet, and how totally uncoordinated she seemed during the dance. Even with all of that visually imprinted in my mind, I still replied, "That's okay Bella, I won't allow anyone but me to dance with you, and I promise we will only dance to the slow music. If you will trust me, I can lead you so you don't hurt yourself, and I promise not to allow you to fall." I gave her my best smile as I spoke.

I watched as my stare engulfed her, and I knew all I had to do was continue to smile at her with my eyes, ask pleadingly, and she would agree to my request. "Please go to the dance with me."

In a soft wispy voice, she finally assented, "Yes."

"What did you do to her?" Emmett's astonishment was extremely evident in his voice.

"I slightly influenced her decision," I whispered too softly for Bella to hear.

"You can do that?" He questioned just as inaudibly to her.

"So it seems."

"I wish I could do that with Rose."

I just chuckled. Rose would never look as intently into his eyes as Bella looked into mine. I also knew that what I could do to Bella she would one day be able to do to me as soon as she realized the power of her own gaze, and then I would really have to be careful about what I agreed to or I could end up in trouble.

"That's not really fair," Alice interjected in the same inaudible volume.

I ignored her as I softly kissed Bella's slightly parted lips, and then said, "Thank you Bella, you won't regret this," and with the kiss and the words, Bella snapped out of whatever seeming stunned state she had been in.

"One day Edward Cullen," she warned, "I'll find a way to resist that look and learn how to do the same thing to you, but for now I'll trust you and go to this silly dance. Just be doubly warned that you might just regret taking me."

I smiled as I replied, "I will never regret any decision I make concerning you especially if it means I get to see you in a party dress."

Bella groaned slightly at that remark, but everyone could hear Alice's whoop of delight throughout the house and the visions were already dancing through her head about how she was going to dress both of us for this particular dance, and those visions scared me because they suddenly reminded me it was a 'Halloween' dance.

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**I personally wish to thank everyone who takes the time to review this story; it is very satisfiying to now that there are fans out there who are enjoying this story and the writing of it. I also wish to thank my two loyal beta readers Liessa and cnhero (who missed editing this chapter due to her honeymoon). Thanks, you guys have been great.**


	18. Chapter 18 Meeting the Parents

_**AN: We claim no ownership of the main Twilight characters, the story is all ours.**_

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**_**Journal Entry Twelve – Meeting the Parents and Other Dating Plans [1958]**

I had never felt nervous about meeting anyone during my entire existence, but that Sunday I experienced nerves for the first time. Neither Emmett nor Jasper were much help either, their only advice was to flash my dazzling smile at Bella's parents. That might work with Bella but I doubted it would work with her parents; besides, I was hoping her parents would like me for me rather than through some outside influence that I might have on them.

Carlisle and Esme had the best advice, "Edward, just be your charming self and let them see that you really are attentive to Bella, that you care about her, and that your interest in her is serious." It was advice that I could follow, and as for being serious about Bella, well, there was no doubt about that. Now that I realized how I really felt about her, there would be no changing it even if I wanted to.

Alice also passed on some advice as I was walking out the door, "Drive carefully and don't speed," she said and then disappeared upstairs.

On the drive over, I wondered if Bella's parents would ask the normal questions about my family. I also wondered what she had already told her parents. It was easy for me to forget that Bella had known my family for a year, so she had probably told her parents something about us since she had spent so much time with Alice, so maybe they wouldn't ask many about my family. I had hoped the drive to Bella's would take a little longer than it did, but before I realized it, I was at her front door ringing the doorbell.

I heard Bella tell her parents, "I'll get that, and please be nice."

From inside the house I noticed her mom's thoughts, 'It's nice that Bella has found someone she likes, and Alice's brother . . . that's nice.'

Her father's thoughts weren't as easy to hear, but they felt defensive with words like, 'Teenage boys . . . my baby girl . . . too easy to hurt . . . not good enough . . .'

It was easy to agree with his last two thoughts, I probably was not good for his daughter because staying with me would lead to her death, and she was easily hurt as I discovered yesterday during the conversation held in our living room.

As the door opened, Bella's beautifully glowing face and her mother's thoughts greeted me; 'She really is in love with him,' and from her father I received a similar thought but one he was not pleased with at all.

"Edward," she greeted, "Come in and meet my parents." She promptly took my hand as I walked through the door and she closed it behind me. She beamed as her parents as she declared, "Mom, dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my mom Joanna Swan" and she used her hand to indicate her mom.

I held out my hand to Bella's mom and shook hers as she grasped mine, "Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Swan." Esme always taught all of us to be polite and courteous when meeting new people.

Bella then indicated her dad, who stood right next to his wife, "And this is my dad, Richard Swan."

I shook his hand as well as I said, "It's a pleasure to meet you sir."

Bella's father never flinched as he stared me right in the eyes and asked, "How long have you known my daughter?"

"Almost a year sir, I met her the first day she started school here, we shared gym together, and she was my dance partner," I saw her mother smile at the remark, but her father only frowned while Bella laughed.

Bella looked directly at her dad as she said, "Dad, I stepped on his feet – a lot, so stop being so hard on him." Then she said, "We should all go into the living room and have a seat," and then she led me to the living room.

A quick scan of the surroundings revealed that we had been standing in a small entry hall, to the left was the dining room with an open entry to the kitchen, in front of us was the staircase leading upstairs with Bella's room somewhere over the kitchen-dining room area, and to the right was the living room.

Bella and I sat on the sofa while her parents sat in the two oversized armchairs that flanked the sofa.

"So Edward, Bella tells us your father is a doctor," her father said.

"Yes and I think you have met him a few times. Bella told me he treated her last fall when she had the flu," I replied.

"Yes that's right. Nice man, very upfront, holds nothing back; of all the doctors I've met, I would say he is one of the best," he dad replied.

Even though I could not hear everything the man was thinking, I knew he was uncomfortable with the fact that his sixteen-year-old daughter had brought a boy home to meet her parents. He was waiting for her to tell him we were dating; in his mind, he knew it was coming, but he didn't like it one bit. Personally, he had hoped she would wait to date until after she graduated from college.

Her mother on the other hand was easy to read. She was overjoyed that Bella not only had a best friend for the first time in a long time – something I noted to ask Bella about later – but also that she was interested in a boy. Her mom had worried that Bella might always be too shy to even talk to a boy. I wondered how her mom would have felt if I had told her that not only had we talked, but that we had also kissed, and because I keep my promises, I had also spent the previous night in Bella room to monitor her in case she did any more sleep walking.

Bella smiled slightly before saying. "Edward's sister Alice invited me to go shopping with her Wednesday after school. Would it be alright if I went with her?"

"Shopping?" Her mother seemed surprised but I understood the response when I heard her accompanying thoughts, 'Bella hates shopping. I wonder how Alice talked her into it.'

"Are you going along with them young man?" Her father was once again glaring at me.

Most of the time, humans don't generally feel comfortable looking us in the eyes because our eyes are part of the lure to attract our prey, so most of the time humans shy away from eye contact, but not Bella's father. In fact, I had noticed early on that Bella didn't avoid eye contact either, but then her eyes were just as alluring to me as mine probably were to her.

"I haven't been invited," I replied simply. I wasn't going to offer the fact that Alice had told Emmett, Jasper, and me that we were not welcomed on this trip because the girls were going to pick out their costumes for the Halloween dance.

Under his breath, I heard him mumble, "Good." I knew Bella hadn't heard him, but his wife did because she shot him the same look I've seen Esme level at Carlisle when he said something that didn't please her.

"So honey," Bella's mom asked, "What will you be shopping for?"

Bella quickly looked at me, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she said, "The school is having a Halloween dance a week from Friday and Edward asked me to go with him."

I quickly interjected, "If that is alright with both of you."

Again, under his breath, her father muttered, "Like it really matters what I think."

In contrast, her mother gushed, "That's wonderful. I think it is time Bella started attending some school functions, and it would be fine with us if you were to accompany her," her voice became slightly gruffer as she turned to her husband, "Wouldn't it dear."

Not only could I hear her silent caveat, 'You had better say yes or we'll definitely have words later,' but I also saw the look she directed at him.

"Fine," he huffed, none too pleased to be agreeing to allow me to take his daughter anywhere, "But you will pick her up here and you will have her home by ten o'clock."

"Dad," Bella lowed her voice somewhat, "The dance starts at eight."

Her mom smiled at Bella as she declared, "Edward, have her home by midnight," then she shot her husband another warning glare as she added, "We'll talk about this later."

"Thanks mom," Bella replied with a smile.

An awkward silence followed that, and I watched her father as his thoughts bombarded me. 'Who does he think he is asking my baby girl out, and then her mother just fawns all over him? I don't trust him, no I don't. There is just something not right. Does he know her situation, how easily she sustains injuries? I just don't . . .'

Bella finally broke the silence and his thought, "Edward promised to take me to the park today, before it gets too cold to enjoy the outdoors."

Her mother's thought brightened, 'She's going to spend time outside. Good, she needs more fresh air.'

"If that is okay with you?" She might have been asking permission of both her parents, but she was looking directly at her mom.

Before her father could reply, her mother announced, "I think that is a great idea, and that," she looked directly at her husband, "will give your dad and I time to talk." Then she turned back towards me, "Edward, would you like to stay for supper?"

As she was asking, I felt Bella squeeze my hand, so I looked at her as she gave a brief nod. "I would like that Mrs. Swan."

She smiled broadly, "Good, be back by five, and Bella, put on a warm sweater."

From that point on, Bella hurried me out of the house as quickly as possible. As I helped her into the car, I heard her sigh as she stated, "I'm so glad that is over."

I hurried around to the other side and slid behind the wheel before asking, "That was the hardest thing I think I have ever done in the past thirty years, and I can't deny that I too am delighted it is over. What was it like before I arrived?" Bella didn't know the half of it. I think if vampires could sweat, I'd be soaked by now. I couldn't tell Bella this, but her father actually scared me; I was sure he was going to forcibly show me the door and tell me not to return something it would have been impossible for me to do.

"Mom was great. She thought it was perfect; you see, she really likes Alice, and I could tell she really likes you, but dad, well that is an entirely different story."

"He's afraid I won't protect you from any harm that might come your way," I offered.

She turned sideways on the seat and faced me, "How do you know . . . oh wait . . . you heard him didn't you?"

"Yes, somewhat," I offered truthfully.

"Somewhat, what does somewhat mean?"

I turned toward her and saw her eyes locked on me, and then I directed my focus back to the road and explained. "I could hear some of his thoughts, but many times it was more of what he felt; not like Jasper, but still they seemed more like feelings than words. I don't think he would be happy with any boy you brought home because he feels overly protective of you; it felt as if he didn't believe anyone else could take care of you, but then he doesn't realize that for awhile I had been your biggest threat."

"Poor dad, he feels guilty about my accidents because he feels he was at fault that I was injured. He takes it all very personally, and it is very hard for him to let go."

"It is not going to be easy to win his approval is it?"

"No, not without mom's help." She reached and touched my cheek and I leaned into the warmth that it provided. "Right now mom is having a serious talk with dad, but it will take awhile for her to win him over. Give him time Edward, there are things that have happened that make his guilt run deep." Bella ran her hand down my cheek, caressing it, and then laughed as she continued, "Maybe you'll just have to come over more often, let him see us together, let him see how you treat me and how much I care about you, and then, maybe, he will be more open to us being together."

"I have all the time in the world, but you don't. What happens if when the time comes to change you and he's not ready to let you go?" From the emotions and thoughts I gathered from her father, his protective feelings ran very deep; these were not surface emotions, but deep seated ones that might take him more time than we had.

"If nothing else Edward, I'll graduate and go to college. If you will still change me, it could be done then, but I'm more hopeful than that because I've seen what mom can do when she puts her mind to it." Bella stopped speaking as the car stopped moving, "Oh, we're here already."

She had her focus so fixed on our conversation and me that she hadn't notice our arrived at the park. "Do you want to walk or something?" I asked.

"What would 'or something' include?" She asked as her smile grew and she ran her finger around my lips.

I returned her smile as I picked up her hand and kissed first the backside and then the palm. "Emmett showed me this very private but scenic spot up in the hills. Maybe we could drive up there and admire the scenery."

Bella laughed softly as she replied, "I'd like that, and maybe we could pick up where we left off last night when I fell asleep," and that comment prompted me to chuckle.

Last evening had been more than I could ever have dreamed possible at one time. Just as I had promised, I had arrived at her house soon after she retired to her room. Bella pre-planned everything; she had informed me she would enter her room at ten, open the window a few inches, pick up her pajamas, and then go across the hall to the bathroom to change. While she was out of the room, I was to come in and slip into her closet; she would then join me after she finished changing. I had worried her parents might look in on her when they went to bed, but she said they no longer did that since she had asked them two years before not to because it disturbed her sleep.

At first, I had planned on sitting in a chair to watch her as she slept. On early visits, I had seen a large overstuffed chair sitting in the corner of her room near a bookcase. It seemed like a comfortable place to spend the evening, been when I went to sit there, Bella followed me and sat in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck while I wrapped mine around her waist, then she laid her head on my shoulder, and we snuggled.

As I did the night before, I luxuriated in her warmth. It had been so long since I had enjoyed the pleasure of feeling warmth against my frigid skin that I felt as if I would never get enough. We didn't sit there long before I sought out her lips and lost myself in the pleasure of kissing her. I'm not sure how long we had been kissing before I heard her parents coming up the stairs, but for a few moments, I tensed up waiting for them to change their normal habit and approach her door as if sensing someone was in the room with Bella. I didn't ease up until I heard their steps retreating away from Bella's room and then heard their bedroom door close.

Bella whispered, "Relax Edward, if you squeeze any harder, you might break my ribs."

I hadn't realized that as I tensed, I tightened my hold on her, and she was right, I might have injured her without meaning to or realizing what I had been doing. This would be a new learning experience for me I realized; I would constantly have to monitor my actions around her or I would unintentionally injure her.

"Bella, I'm extremely sorry. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"You were preoccupied listening to my parents," she said in my ear, and her warm breath gently stroking my ear excited me in a new and surprising way.

It was so surprising to me, that I quickly picked up Bella and carried her to the bed so she wouldn't discover how she had affected me. As I laid her down, she kept her arms wrapped around my neck and murmured, "Stay with me."

I reached up to loosen her grip as I answered, "I'm not leaving, and I'll just be over in the chair."

"No Edward," I felt her pull me toward her, "I mean, stay right here, in my bed, with me, like you did last night. Please don't leave me."

I noticed her voice was becoming softer and her hold on me was loosening. Then she did something that made me want to stay beside her; as her arms released me, her hands came over my shoulder and then slowly slid down my chest until they fell on the bed. I'm not sure if she realized what she had done, but the action fired up a desire to just stay beside her and hold her all night long.

I kissed her forehead and murmured softly, "I'll stay right here, Bella."

I'm not sure if she heard me because she had fallen asleep. To comply with her request I first tucked her in and then moved to the other side of the bed so I could lay down beside her wrap my arms around her waist and draw her back up against my chest. For me, it was the perfect way to spend the night; it must have been for Bella also because she didn't speak at all that night nor did she take a late night stroll.

With the previous evening in mind, I drove up to Emmett's favorite spot only to find that Emmett had was already parked there – not that I actually saw Emmett, but I did see his car and from the cars odd movements, I could tell he was in there with Rose. I was about to maneuver the car so I could turn around when Emmett's head popped up so that he could look through the back window, as he saw Bella and I a wide grin spread across his face. I heard him tell Rose he would be back in a minute, then the back door opened and he step out – his clothes a little rumpled, but at least he was fully dressed.

I rolled down the window as he walked toward the car. "Hi Edward, Bella," he called loud enough so Bella could hear him.

When I looked over at Bella, I could see the red already beginning to flush her face, and Emmett must have seen it also because he chuckled as he said, "I like that color on you Bella, it makes you look so human."

Bella laughed as she replied, "You're just jealous because I can do something you can't," and then she surprised me by sticking her tongue out at him, but he surprised me more by reciprocating the action.

It reminded me of two little kids taunting each other, but then again that was normal for Emmett. I wondered if that was something he taught Bella, or if the first time he did it to her she just returned the action, whichever it was, it seems natural for them for they just commenced laughing at each other.

"So, did you come up to watch the submarine race?" He laughed as he approached the car.

Bella gave him a confusing look, so I guessed he hadn't filled her with all the 50's slang yet. Emmett had an affinity for slang during the different eras, and if he found the term extremely interesting he used it as often as possible knowing it would soon by replaced by something different. For some reason, he found much of the 50's slang not only interesting but also exceptionally humorous.

Bella turned to me and asked what I was hoping she wouldn't, "What submarine races?"

"Bella, it's not what you think. He's referring to the activity we just interrupted between Rose and him."

Her face instantly became a brighter, more intense red, "Oh, I think I understand." Then she smiled slightly and confessed in an almost inaudible whisper, "I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

As quite as she thought she had been, Emmett still heard her as he scolded, "I should hope not, and I would expect more restraint from Edward. What kind of big brother would I be Bella if I condoned that kind of activity before he married you? Kissing and hugging yes, but that's it."

Emmett was now leaning against the doorframe.

"Wow Emmett, I would never have imagined you being that strict; wasn't it you who tried to teach me to flirt in order to gain Edward's attention," she answered with a teasing laugh.

That bit of information cleared up for me why early in our non-relationship, Bella had tried to flirt with me at my locker and failed. I guess Emmett's form of flirting either hadn't set well with her, or it had been too forward and she hadn't been able to follow through with it.

Emmett's chuckle was deep and hearty, "You may not be able to flirt like I tried to teach you, but you can flirt without being aware of it. That day at the locker wasn't a total waste, Bella. Edward's eyes were riveted on you as you walked away. You have a killer swing to those curvy hips of yours and he noticed it." Emmett laughed even more as he watched Bella's blush deepen yet again, and then he added, "When Edward finally changes you, that is what I will miss the most. I swear, Bella, I've never seen anyone blush as easily as you do, and it's the most wonderful thing I've seen in a long time."

Bella's response was to lean her head into my shoulder to hide her face from Emmett. "Just go away Emmett. We'll leave you to return to your . . . um . . . races."

I didn't like the fact that Emmett seemed to be taunting Bella so much, but I totally enjoyed the extra heat I felt soaking into my arm from her flushed face. Just as I was about to agree with her comment, I heard Rose call to Emmett to 'come back now,' and it caused me to laugh as I said, "Rose seems to be impatient Emmett. I wouldn't keep her waiting too long or she just might decide she wants to go home."

Emmett laughed in response saying, "You got that right, but seriously, you can park the car over there in that clear spot and no one will bother you," he lowered his voice so Bella could not hear him, "and I'll be too busy to hear anything," then he turned and nearly flew back to his car.

"Where did he go?" Bella asked as she looked up.

"Back to Rose, but faster than you would have been able to see."

"You can move that fast?" She asked astonished.

"One day we are going to have to compare notes about what you do and do not know about vampires, but right now, I think I'll take Emmett's advice and park over there," pointing to a spot big enough for parking the car. "Then we can pick up where we left off last night before you fell asleep."

As Bella sat up to allow me to park the car, I regretted the loss of the heat I had been enjoying from her contact.

After I finished parking, she asked, "Edward, what caused you the carry me to the bed so swiftly?"

"Nothing," there was no way I could explain what caused that action because it was too personal, but had she stayed sitting on my lap, she definitely would have felt what had prompted the move.

"Did I do something wrong?" Her expression revealed sadness and a bit of fear.

I turned part way toward her, took her face in my hands and looked into her lovely sad eyes, "No, Bella, you didn't do anything wrong. It was more of what I involuntarily did in reaction to something you did."

"I don't understand," the confusion clouded her lovely brown eyes.

"This is rather embarrassing Bella, but when your breath gently touched me ear . . . well a part of me reacted in a way that just wasn't appropriate, but it also spontaneous so I could not stop it from occurring." This would have been my moment to blush if it had been possible.

Bella slid over on the seat, leaned in toward me, and began kissing my neck. She had draped her left arm over my shoulder, placed her right on my knee, then worked her way around my neck with kisses until she was near my ear, and then she whispered, "You mean like this?" Once again, her breath caressed my ear and a new reflex in my body kicked in, at the same time, Bella looked down and breathed a surprise, "Oh!"

She was about to push away from me, but I was quicker and wrapped my arms around her as I said, "Bella, that's not fair, but I think I should be able to repay you by doing this," and then I gave her a kiss I knew would take her breath away – literally.

Once she stopped breathing, I released her. As I did, she tilted her head back and I noticed her closed eyes. She softly uttered two words, "More please."

We spent the rest of the afternoon locked in each other arms. Our make out session was not nearly as intense as Rose and Emmett's, but it remained enjoyable, and although I would have preferred not to, I did occasionally glance at the time so we wouldn't be late for supper at Bella's house.

Supper was an interesting event. I surreptitiously hid my food as brought forkfuls toward my mouth; my movements were swifter than the human eye could perceive and I deposited the uneaten food in a napkin on my lap under the table. I had planned to excuse myself from the table while Bella's mom returned to the kitchen for dessert, but she made it even easier for me by telling her husband to carry to dirty plates to the kitchen and then help her with dessert. While they were gone, I made a hasty trip outside, deposited the unwanted food in a neighbor's trashcan and returned before her mother had even started dishing out the dessert.

Upon my return, Bella just laughed lightly into her napkin before saying, "I wondered how you would handle that."

That evening as we lay cradled together, Bella told me, "It wasn't too bad. Dad was at least a little more civil."

"Yes, he only glared at me half the night, and then you didn't hear his thought either. He did perk up a little after asking me about my plans and I told him I was planning to attend medical school." As I spoke, I buried my nose in Bella's hair; she always smelled so good and not just because of her blood. Her hair had a hint of vanilla, possibly from the shampoo she used, and her skin omitted a sweet scent that reminded me of lilac in bloom.

"What was he thinking?" She murmured as she snuggled back against me and wrapped her arms around mine that were around her waist.

"That he could not stand the idea of us kissing, and that you were just not old enough to go out on a date with a boy. He was also regretting the loss of those days when you had not interest in boys and wished you would have retained that disinterest."

"I guess dad needs to adjust his thinking," she said just before drifting off to sleep.

For me, tomorrow was going to be one of the more interesting days at school; before returning to Bella's house, we discussed the fact that I would pick her up for school in the morning and we would let the school body know that we were now an item.

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_**Reviews are highly appreciated because they let us know that you are enjoying the story and that we should continue. **_


	19. Chapter 19 Submarine Races

**AN: Unlike Emmett, I had Bella pre-approve of my chapter before I turned it in for submission, so I have no fear that Edward will pull this chapter.**

**In addition, I have not legal rights to the Cullen Family characters, or to Bella; instead, they all lawfully belong to the author Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Chapter 7 – Of Submarine Races and Lasciviousness [2008] by Jasper**

We drew lots to see who would garner the privilege of composing this chapter and I won, so despite what Emmett thinks, I will use less words that fans will have to look up than he claims.

We now frequent Edwards's journal more than before, because we don't feel we have to use 'cloak and dagger' methods, as Emmett calls them, to gain access to it. We noticed the chapter about meeting Bella's parents but then he jumped right into Monday morning totally omitting what occurred Sunday evening when he made his stop at the house before returning to Bella's for the night.

Emmett claims Edward's embarrassment kept him from including the conversation that took place, and Alice is positive he omitted it because it had nothing to do with Bella's story; I attribute it to both.

That evening, in 1958, we were lounging in the living room talking about nothing in particular, except Alice who was still planning all of our Halloween costumes for the dance. Esme and Carlisle had gone out hunting and Rose was in the garage changing the oil in all the cars. As Edward walked through the front door, Emmett greeted him by asking, "So how did you and Bella enjoy the submarine races?"

"You took Bella parking?" Alice chimed in with a huge smile on her divine petite face.

"Emmett," Edward growled, "That is nobody's business but mine."

"Meaning you left Bella completely unsatisfied. Tsk, tsk, tsk, such a disappointment for her," Emmett laughed heartily.

"I thought, as her big brother, you would be pleased if nothing lewd occurred between us," Edward retorted.

"I do, but you could at least make her toes curl with your kisses, but then a fifty year old virgin might be extremely rusty in the kissing department, such a shame."

"Emmett, be fair, it's not Edward's fault he hasn't had practice," Alice chimed in again, then snickered as she added, "Although there have been long lines of girls through the years who would gladly have volunteered to practice with him."

I could not help but laugh because I could have pointed out every girl at that particular school who would gladly have scratched out Bella's eyes in order to get half at chance at just kissing Edward.

Edward just scowled as he shot back, "Just because we didn't steam up the windows doesn't mean we didn't enjoy ourselves."

It was then that Rose walked in and gracefully seated herself next to Emmett. Emmett leaned over and sniffed, "Um, you smell good. I love the smell of fresh motor oil," and Rose, as usual, responded by punching him in the arm.

Rose looked at Edward as she said, "There is nothing wrong with Emmett and me steaming up the windows, we're married; however, I don't think Bella's parents would appreciate it if they found the two of you involved in the same activity."

"Lascivious behavior in the bedroom is one thing, but when it occurs in public, well it's a good thing the police don't patrol that area," I prudently pointed out.

"Well, I never suggested Edward should rip her clothes off, I just said he should kiss her," Emmett retorted.

Alice stared at Rose and snickered as she asked, "Is that why Emmett had to come in and retrieve your bathrobe before you came into the house?"

Emmett kissed Rose's ear, neck, and then lips, before replying, "Okay, so I got a little carried away, but I gave her my shirt to wear when we drove home. There was no sense in causing an accident along the way, and I don't appreciate other men gawking at my wife either."

Alice smiled sweetly at Edward as she inquired, "Did Bella have a nice time?"

"Yes she did, but unlike Emmett, I don't go around boasting about my adeptness, and I definitely don't plan on sharing what Bella and I do in private."

"Maybe the problem is, around here, there isn't any privacy. What isn't heard through the walls, you hear mentally so none of us really have any privacy from you," Rose snapped.

"It's not like I enjoy listening to the two of you . . ."

"Stop," I commanded, "That is enough." The worst part about my ability is the continual bombardment of emotions from everyone around me, and at that point the hostility was high between Edward and Rose. Those two could set each other off faster than any match could ignite a stick of dynamite, and when they clashed, they were unequivocally as destructive as two sticks of explosives. The best part about my ability was being able to defuse their lit wicks faster than any normal method would ever have worked. "None of us are to be blamed for super sensitive hearing, it just comes with the territory, and as for Edwards special skill, it's not like he asked for it, and if given the choice, I bet he would gladly give it up; unfortunately, no one can turn these gifts on and off. So, let's all just calm down."

"Yes dad," Emmett smirked.

Alice glared at him but said nothing. At times, she too could be quick-tempered, but unlike Rose, she categorically knew when to restrain her tongue.

"So, Edward, what are Bella's parents like?" I asked in the hopes of redirecting the conversation.

"Her mom likes me . . ."

"I knew she would," Alice quickly interjected.

Edward ignored her and continued, "But her father didn't. It seems he's a bit over protective and doesn't like the idea of anyone dating his daughter."

"Must have been the other thing I saw that didn't make sense," Alice mused.

"Gave you a rough time, did he?" Emmett asked as he wrapped an arm around Rose's waist and pulled her closer to him.

"Not really, whenever he tried Bella's mom glared at him. She gives him the same look Esme gives Carlisle when he does or says something she disapproves of; I almost laughed the first time I saw the look. Most of his feeling I got from him here," Edward pointed to his head, "but not all his thoughts were clear, it was like they were slightly muffled, but his emotions came through strong and clear."

"What about her mom; were her thoughts like that too?" I asked.

"No, hers were easy, very clear. She's ecstatic that Bella is interested in a boy; she was afraid Bella would never open up enough to share her feelings with anyone. No, Bella's mom, according to Bella, will be our biggest ally. Oh, I almost forgot Alice, Bella can go shopping with you. Another break through for Bella in her mom's mind, it seems Bella hates shopping, but her mom is convinced that you are a good influence on her."

Alice clapped her hands, "Perfect. Oh, I have so much to do." She jumped up, kissed me, and skipped off as she said, "I'll see you upstairs, Jasper."

None of us had ever met Bella's parents formally; Bella had introduced Alice to them one afternoon when she and Bella were out running some type of errand a few months back, and in the year that we had known Bella, she didn't talk about her parents much. I always wondered why.

"So, now that you have met her parents, what is your next move?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Edward looked puzzled.

Being able to read minds, I would have thought he knew exactly what I meant, but I clarified by saying, "When are you going to tell her parents that the two of you are going out together?"

Edward chuckled, "Bella already did. She told them about the Halloween dance and her father wasn't happy at all. He told me to have her home by ten, but her mother overrode his decision so she can now stay out until midnight."

"Wow, I'm glad I didn't have to ask permission to date Rose," Emmett chimed in.

"Yes you did," Rose replied, "the only difference is you had to ask Carlisle and he isn't overly protective." Rose turned in Emmett's embrace to face him and then kissed his nose. I was beginning to feel the emotional vibrations they were sparking in each other, and if it kept up, I would have to go upstairs to share some of it with Alice.

"Anyway," Edward continued ignoring the two on the sofa, "they know we have a date in two weeks, but I think I'll ask her out Friday as well . . ."

"We'll all like the new movie playing at the drive in," Alice called down from upstairs, "And Jasper will drive, but Emmett and Rose have to stay home unless they promise to behave themselves."

Emmett was busy with Rose's mouth, but he pulled away briefly to murmur, "We'll take my car." Then he picked Rose up and dashed upstairs.

"I guess we're double dating, it will be better that way," I offered.

"I'll ask her tomorrow at school, right now I have to head back to her house. I have a promise to keep." He smiled as he turned to leave.

"Edward," I called softly, "I know this will work for both of you. I've never seen two people more suited for each other, present company excluded of course."

"Thanks Jasper, but I think Alice is growing impatient so maybe it's best that we both go to be with our girls."

I have to admit, when Alice first brought Bella home I didn't hold out much hope that Edward would ever see anything but her blood, but it didn't take long for me to learn otherwise through his emotions. It's funny that I could tell from his emotions that he was falling in love much sooner than he did, but it really has been a perfect match in many ways. Bella became the best wife, sister, and daughter than any of us could ever have dreamt possible.

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_AN: November 21, 2008 – The family took the time to see the new __Twilight__ movie; how could we not go with all the hype circulating about it. Anyway, from my personal opinion, the actor who played Jasper, although he was handsome – Alice does assure me I am much more handsome – I thought his hair was all wrong. I also thought he always had this pained looked the way he eyes were; they looked too big at times. I had to ask Alice if that was how I looked when I first met Bella and she assured me I never looked like that – as an ego booster, no one surpasses my Alice. Other than that, we all agreed the movie wasn't a 'turkey' and Alice says it will make the company a lot of money. Although Emmett liked the music, he professed, it did not embody our Bella and Edward. Because they met in the 50's, they still have an penchant for 50's music, but then Edward reminded him that this story referred to the fictional character who met 4 years ago. Emmett responded by laughing and proclaiming 50's music still personified any couple named Edward and Bella in his mind._

_Over all, though, the family thought the movie was acceptable. At least the studio did not annihilate it like __Blood and Chocolate__ – Bella relished the book but detested the movie._


	20. Chapter 20 School

**As with all fanfiction, our disclaimer is that Stephenie Meyer owns the original Twilight characters – but we own the events and extra characters. Thanks for stopping by to read the next chapter.**

**As always, the Cullen family appreciates all of their fans.**

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**Journal Entry Thirteen – Of School and Double Dates [1958]**

I arrived at Bella's house thirty minutes before school hoping to pick her up early enough to we could use the extra time at school walking around the campus holding hands and making ourselves visible to the student body.

When I knocked on the door, Bella's mom opened it, "I'm sorry Edward, Bella is running a little late, but she'll be down in moment. You can wait here," she smiled and then walked off toward the kitchen.

I heard Bella's father moving around in the kitchen, most of it was not visible because of the dining room wall, when his wife walked through the kitchen doorway, and, as is innate for me, I heard him ask, "Who was at the door?"

"Edward Cullen, and don't say anything derogatory; he is a nice young man and I like him."

"A pretty face doesn't mean anything. We know nothing about that boy, and we know nothing of his intensions toward Bella. I just don't like the idea of her jumping into any form of relationship on such short notice." His kept his voice low but defensive. I sensed the concern for his daughter that flowed strongly out of him, and I couldn't fault him for that because my apprehensions for her safety reflected his, except mine were a thousand times stronger.

"Richard, she has known him for over a year, and she has been to his house hundreds of times. I will admit that until recently she was only over there because of Alice, but she has liked this boy from the first day she started school here." Although she too kept her voice low, her tone conveyed her fervent love for Bella; additionally, it included a warning as if informing him not to start something that would distress Bella.

Her words did confirm Alice's comment about Bella having feels for me from the start, an observation I had rejected because of the way we started, and the fact that she knew right from the start that I had stole into her bedroom seeking only her blood should have made her not only dread me but also abhor me. Still, I had quickly discovered that Bella was not an ordinary girl.

Just above and to the left, I heard footsteps and knew Bella would shortly be on her way down. As she rounded the corner of the hall and appeared at the top of the stairs, we smiled at each other, and then she quickly started down the steps only to lose her footing half way down, trip, and promptly fell forward down the stairs. Knowing no one would see, I swiftly moved to the stairs and caught her. I held her close while I heard her heart hammering in her chest.

"Morning," she smiled despite her rapid heartbeat while I still held her.

"Good morning," I replied. Any morning with Bella in my arms, I concluded, would definitely be an excellent morning.

"Isn't it a little early for such displays?" Bella's father, who had just walked out from the kitchen, asked as he approached the entryway from the dining room.

I quickly set Bella down on her feet, while she glared at her dad and said, "Edward just stopped me from breaking something. I tripped on the stairs."

"Again?" her father commented.

Silently I repeat his remark, 'Again?' but as a question to myself. I made a mental note to request the number of times a day that she fell down the stairs.

"Next time try to be more careful," he added. Then he turned toward his wife, who stood behind him, kissed her on the cheek, and said, "I'll see you this afternoon," then turned to Bella saying, "Have a good day at school Bella." He only nodded at me, and then he left.

I took Bella's hand and began walking toward the door. "We don't want to be late," I told Bella, then turning toward her mother, I gave a little bow as I said, "Goodbye Mrs. Swan, and have a nice day."

"Thank you Edward. Bella, have a nice day at school," I could tell her smile was for both of us as I heard, 'They make a nice couple. He is such a polite young man, I hope he knows what he's getting himself into.'

"Bye mom and thanks," Bella replied as we walked out the door.

I led Bella to the car, held the door open for her, and closed it; then I walked around and slid into the driver's seat. "

While I was driving to school, I asked my question. "So Bella, just how often do you trip on the stairs and fall?"

Bella chuckled, "It's a regular happening when I get in a hurry or I'm extremely excited. Today is the first time it's happened in four months."

"So what excited you this morning?" I asked trying not to smile.

"It was your smile, your face, and the fact that you really did come to pick me up for school." She still smiled, but as I looked over at her, I saw her eyes darken slightly as her tone reflected a more serious attitude, "You really have to stop being like dad. You can't stop all the accidents or take them personally. It wasn't your fault; it wasn't dad's fault; it just happened and that is how my life is, and if I can come to terms with it, then so can both of you."

I her tone and look conveyed her sincerity about her comment, but how could I persuade her that she was more precious to me than my own existence, and that if anything life-threatening happened to her, I would do everything in my power to make certain I didn't lose her, no matter what. To me it didn't matter that I had only met her a year ago. When a vampire is fortunate enough to find his soul mate, it is a forever phenomenon. It made me wonder though, how did I tell a girl that my love transcended the importance of my own existence, and that my future depended on her remaining with me forever. In addition, I readily and willingly was lavishing my love upon her for all eternity but in return, I wanted – no, what I felt was more than want – I needed her love in what every form she was willing to share with me.

Instead of mentioning any of that, I just replied with a smile, "I'll honestly try Bella, and if nothing else, I'll do it so you won't ever compare me to your dad in the future."

I heard her huff, "You don't like him, do you?" I didn't have to look to know she was now frowning.

"It's not that Bella; it's just that I don't ever want you to think of our relationship from a daughter-father perspective. I'm going to want more than that from you later on; things a father would never want from his daughter."

She slid over so she was right beside me and leaned her head against my arm, "I like that idea Edward, and I never once thought of you as my father or wanted that type of relationship. I want the same kind of relationship with you as Emmett has with . . . oh, I didn't mean . . . that is," she stammered, and again, I didn't have to look to know she was blushing because I could feel the heat of it through my shirt.

"I understand, Bella; you want that but not right now and I'll say this for Emmett, his love for Rose is everlasting, and I can assure you that mine is already everlasting for you as well. It won't be easy to get rid of me if you should change your mind between know and graduation," I chuckled.

"You really don't know me very well yet, but I can tell you this, once I've made my mind up I don't change it, not on anything serious, and then on very few other things as well. Mom says it's because of the way I analyze every avenue of a situation or decision before choosing one."

"I guess that means I will be stuck with you for an extremely long time," I replied.

"As Emmett would say, 'it's a sure bet.' So, what is the plan for today?"

We had talked about options to demonstrate to the other students, mostly those of the male persuasion, that Bella would no longer be available to any of them. Bella thought simple would be better, so I told her, "I'll stick to your side, carry your books, and hold your hand every chance I get, and if that doesn't work I will drape my arm around your shoulder and you can lean on me." I heard her chuckle softly, so I added, "Yes, I took your advice, and we'll keep it simple, but I'm warning you now, if it doesn't work, I may resort to more obvious visual methods to show that you are completely off limits to all the male students."

"I think I'll enjoy the hand holding and leaning. Maybe I'll be like those other girls and call you something cute like 'Eddie.'"

"Don't you even dare it," I growled.

"Or what?" she asked light heartedly.

"Oh, I'll think of something, Isabella."

"Okay, let's agree right now; I won't ever call you Eddie if you agree to never call me Isabella. Deal?"

"Deal," I agreed. I might truly like her Christian name, but the deal was worth it to avoid having her call me Eddie. Emmett tried it once and it lead to a serious brawl. Fortunately it occurred at home, but still neither Carlisle nor Esme where happy about it and soon ordered us to never fight like that again – the order went along with the parental speech about how disappointed they were with both of us, and that in itself was enough to cause both Emmett and I to agree.

As we arrived at school, I promptly put our plan into action as I helped Bella out of the car and walked with her to the building. I held her books in one arm and held her hand with my free one. I noticed a number of turned heads as I walked her to her locker and was privy to many unspoken comments.

'Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, who would have thought . . .'

'Do you suppose their dating or just friends . . . but he's holding her hand . . . I wonder . . .'

'I'm much prettier than her, why would he pick such a klutz . . .'

'Way to go Bella . . .'

'I wonder if he asked her to the dance, maybe I still . . .'

'Look at her strutting around on Edward's arm. What does he see in her . . . ?'

I finally had to tune them out. I hadn't realized the number of jealous girls in the school and those same girls would walk by and smile at Bella even though they envied and belittled her. Susie was the worst; even as she greeted Bella, her mind revealed her abhorrence for her. She believed that Bella had stolen me from her; I had lightly flirted with the girl just once and that was a while ago, but she still clung to the misconception that I would finally come around and ask her for a date.

I spent the entire morning eavesdropping on the spoken and unspoken comments of boys while they invited Bella to the dance. It galled me that Bella and I didn't share any classes, but the fact that she was a sophomore and I was junior made it harder to have shared classes, so in-between classes, I made every effort to show the other students that Bella and I were serious. It began with the hand holding, by second hour class, I started draping my arm over her shoulder, and between third and fourth hour, I was walking her to class with my arm around her waist and hers around mine. None of it helped because during every class she had at least one boy ask her if she had a date to the dance.

While we stood in the lunch line, one sniveling adolescent had the gall to ask Bella, while she was standing beside me, if she would go to the Halloween dance with him. I glared at him and softly growled as I replied, "She's going with me."

Until I spoke, he didn't even acknowledge I was beside her, "Oh. Well maybe next time."

All I could think was 'Of all the unmitigated arrogant remarks . . .' and if Bella hadn't laid her hand on my arm and stared me in the eyes while smiling lovingly at me, I'm not sure what I might have done next.

The next occurrence finally convinced me to take drastic actions. The lunch period was half over and Bella and I sat at the lunch table talking when I noticed Jim get up from his table and begin to walk toward ours. He had to cross the entire cafeteria floor before he reached us, but I already heard his internal musings as he approached.

'Maybe it isn't serious. He has been avoiding her, so maybe she would enjoy going to the dance with me more than him; at least I haven't been shunning her all this time, and it isn't as if he jacketed her – she wouldn't consider going steady with someone who cold shouldered her . . . Okay, just do it, she can only say no . . .'

That had been it, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I quickly glanced around the cafeteria to make sure no teachers were in the room, and then I turned toward Bella and whispered, "Bella," causing her to turn toward me. I leaned toward her, wrapped my arms around her to draw us closer together, and then right there, in front of everyone at lunch and especially Jim, I kissed her, and not a friendly little peck either. By the time I was done, everyone who was present knew this was not a fleeting infatuation or a simple friendship. No, the voices I heard all held renewed thoughts about how serious our relationship was, and there were a large number of regrets from the female population, while the male responses changed to curses, disappointment, and all-out hatred from Jim.

"Way to go little brother," Emmett rooted for everyone to hear.

Even Jasper seemed impressed, "I never would have thought you had it in you."

Bella grinned lovingly while catching her breath, and then stated, "I presume there was a reason for that show of passion."

"Yes," I hadn't let go of her but I leaned my forehead against hers, "and he is now on his way back to his own table."

"Poor Jim, but I warned him a long time ago that I didn't feel that way about him. He didn't seem to believe me," she replied.

"He does now," I reassured her.

That kiss turned the tide for us at school. No more speculation about our seriousness circulated through the student body because we had instantly become an item and rumors began to run rampant about how we had secretly been seeing each other for the past year.

After our exhibition at lunch, the invitations to the dance stopped, and everyone began speculating on how long we would remain together.

That evening, I spent time at Bella's house doing homework. While we sat at the dining room table, I asked as her father walked through, "Alice and Jasper are going to the movies Friday night and have invited us to go along with them. Would you like to go out with me?"

Her dad paused at the doorway and Bella asked, "Would it be okay dad?"

Internally, he wanted to say no, but he knew what his wife would say, so grudgingly he replied, "If Alice is going, I guess it will be okay," then he walked off into the living room.

"So what are we going to see?" She inquired she returned to the math problem in front of her.

"It's a movie at the drive-in, and I think it's a double feature, but I'm not sure what's playing."

"Are Emmett and Rose coming along also?"

I chuckled and replied, "No, Alice told Emmett he and Rose would have to behave themselves and Emmett decided they would take his pick up."

"Well that should restrict Emmett somewhat," she laughed in reply.

"Not very likely, Emmett can be very creative when it comes to achieving what he covets."

Bella blushed, "Oh, I think I might understand what you're saying," and her blushed deepened.

I always learned quickly, and with Bella I had learned in the short amount of time that embarrassment caused her to blush but as the blush deepened it meant something more than just her own mortification had caused it.

Out of curiosity I asked, "What happened Bella?"

She kept her eyes focused on her work and in a hushed murmur she replied, "It was nothing really."

That only perked my curiosity more. "What was nothing Bella?" I too maintained a low voice.

"It wasn't supposed to happen; I was in the wrong place at the wrong moment, and it's just too humiliating to admit."

"Bella, if it involves Emmett, then it has happened to my entire family, so just tell me what happened. Sometimes it helps just to admit it and then it's over."

She looked up at me, her eyes penetrated mine, and I guess she discovered what she sought for because in a barely audible whisper she admitted, "I was walking by the bathroom next to the kitchen one day, and I heard moaning. My first reaction was someone was hurt or sick and then I realized where I was and knew that couldn't be the case. I hadn't meant to listen anymore, but before I could leave, I heard both of them screaming each other's name. I retreated quickly; I felt so embarrassed because I could guess what was going on. Later Emmett found me and asked if I enjoyed the show. I hadn't realized he . . . they . . . I felt so . . . ashamed . . . so humiliated. I couldn't look at either of them for the rest of the week."

I caressed her cheek with my hand as I whispered, "Like I said Bella, it has happened to all of us and Emmett seems to find pleasure in shocking people. Next time . . ."

She cut me off as she squeaked, "Next time?"

"Next time, Bella, find a good comeback when he says something. Don't show him your shocked or embarrassed – well, that might be hard for you because of the blushing. Just try to be flippant about it like you were Sunday when you made that comment about Rose. When he loses the shock value, Emmett drops it and goes to something else."

"Okay," she affirmed softly, "I'll try."

"Bella," her dad called from the living room and I detected what was coming from his thoughts, "It's nearly nine. I think someone should be heading home."

Bella called back, "Okay dad, let me finish this one problem and have Edward check it, then I'll walk him out to the car."

I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but I think her dad growled in response to her comment about walking me to the car.

Bella did walk me out, but her dad made sure the porch light was one, and I suspected he might be watching from the window. I had parked my car on the street, so Bella came around to the driver's side, and after I got in, I rolled down the window.

"I'm going to gather my books and go straight up to my room," she said. "I'll leave the window slightly open for you," then she leaned in and kissed me before walking back to the house.

I chuckled as I drove off thinking about how much my existence had altered since she entered it. I had once hated the nights because I was always trying to find ways to occupy myself. I found the nighttime loneliest because most of the time the rest of the family coupled up with their spouse, but now I had someone with whom I could spend time. True, Bella did sleep though the night, but sometimes she talked in her sleep as well and what came out of her mouth was very revealing at times.

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50's Terminology

Jacketed – going steady (the jacket was usually his letterman jacket that he gave to a girl to show that she was his girl; the giving of a class ring was about the same thing, and going steady meant you were both serious and neither dated anyone else.

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AN: Now comes the time to make your voice heard. If you enjoyed this chapter at all, then please leave a review. If you found any errors, leave them in the review so I can make correction. Your reviews ensure the continuation of this story.


	21. Chapter 21 Smitten Revenge

_**Disclaimer: We do not own the Cullen family or Bella as portrayed in the Twilight series created by Stephenie Meyer.**_

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Journal Entry Fourteen – Smitten Revenge [1958]**

After our display in the cafeteria on Monday, school life flowed smoother for Bella and I. We were now the schools number one item, but on Thursday, Jim began taking bets as too how long it would last. His opinion was that I would drop her because she wasn't as pretty as my sisters were, as though I would ever compare her to my sisters, and I never once thought of Bella as a sister. Besides, even though he thinks my sisters are pretty, I find Bella more beautiful than anyone else I had ever met. His problem and that of the entire school population really is that he did not understand what it means for a vampire to be in love. It is not just being in love, it on an entirely different plane from human love, which can be so ephemeral that it is pathetic. Not that I believe Bella's love is fleeting; no, everything about Bella surpasses the ordinary in every way. If it didn't, she would have chosen a normal human over me shortly after arriving in Tacoma.

I suspected that more than just her blood drew me to her; her mystique also drew me to her, and I had a feeling I could spend all eternity with her yet never resolve all the mysteries surrounding her. The major one concerned my inability to hear her thoughts. With everyone else, it came simply, and in most humans, their thinking involved very little complexity. In my own family, Jasper and Carlisle had the most complex thoughts, but with Bella, it went further than just the complexity of thoughts, it included the overall complexity of her mind. After meeting her father, I wondered if she inherited part of it from him and then the rest was all her. My other option revolved around the number of life and death situations she had been in over the years and the fact that she grazed death so many times had somehow changed something inside of her.

With her inimitability, I could not fathom why Jim thought I would lose interest in her; however, not wanting to miss the betting pool, both Emmett and Jasper placed their bets. Of course, they based their guesses on Alice's vision and the fact that everyone in the family knew I had already proposed to her. Emmett's major concern was the pay-off. He wanted to know how soon Jim would admit he and Jasper had won; unfortunately for them, Jim refused to answer.

By lunch on Friday, everyone in the school knew Bella and I were going on our first date that evening. Up until that day, there had been speculation amongst some of the students that Bella and I had secretly been dating for some time but since they all seemed to know this would be our first date it was my guess that Emmett was the one who informed everyone, and just to be funny, he hung a large note on my locker that read, 'He is smitten by a kitten.'

Bella didn't find it very funny, so to get back at him, she put on some lipstick she had borrowed from a friend – I hadn't really noticed until then that Bella didn't wear makeup – and picked up a small bottle of perfume from her locker and waited for Emmett to walk by, which he did regularly every day at that time. I had already removed the note, but I had no idea about what she had planned.

As I said before, Bella had spent too much time around Emmett before I took an active part in her life, but what she did brought a huge smile to my face.

"Emmett, do you have a minute?" She cooed sweetly.

"Sure Bella, anything for you," he walked casually over to her without a fear in his mind that she might retaliate because of his note.

She let him come up close her, and put out her index finger to indicate he should come closer, and when he did, she softly said, "Lean down, I don't want anyone to hear," and she still had that deceptive smile on her face.

As he leaned down, she kissed him on the neck getting lipstick on his collar and neck and spilled a little perfume on his shirt.

"Aw Bella, why did you do that? Now Rose is going to think some girl has been flirting with me."

Bella smirked as she replied, "Edward might be 'smitten by a kitten' but I thought you ought to know this kitten has claws."

Emmett roared with laugher, and then commented; "You will tell Rose that you put the lipstick and perfume on me, right?"

Bella smile became wider but there was a hint of mischief in that smile, she turned to walk away, but over her shoulder she replied, "Maybe, if you make it worth my while."

I had never seen Bella act this way before. With everyone else, she was quiet, respectful, and somewhat shy, but around my siblings, I was beginning to see a Bella who could be sociable and hold her own when someone teased her, but only when she felt comfortable with the people around her. The best part about what happened was the shock and disbelief on Emmett's face as she walked away; that alone was priceless, but the fact that he trailed after her pleading was even better.

There was no need to listen to his thoughts because he verbalized every one of them. "Please Bella, I'll do anything you ask; no price is too high. Rose will kill me if she thinks I've been letting some other girl flirt with me. Hell Bella, I swear, I'd even kill for you just to get you to tell Rose the truth."

Bella hadn't paused once as she walked to her last class of the day, and Emmett's time was running out because I spied Rose walking down the hall from behind us. Then Emmett played a trump card I'd bet anything he didn't know he held, and I doubt he learned it that day because only I saw her face when he spoke.

"Please sis," he would not have had to say anymore because the look in Bella's eyes at his words told me she had crumbled, but he continued, "I'll go down on bended knee and promise anything."

Bella pulled herself together before turning around and replying with a slight smile, "I'll take the promise, but you don't have to go down on your knees. Meet me after class at my locker and I'll tell you what I want, until then Rose will have to wait." Then she shifted her gaze from Emmett to Rose and said, "Hi Rose. Don't yell at Emmett until after you meet me at my locker after school," then she looked back at Emmett, "I've got to go or I'll be late." She promptly turned and started to class again with me tagging along.

I wasn't sure what she had in mind, and I really wondered if she did, so I asked, "What promise are you going to ask for?"

"I'm still refining it, but it could really be interesting to see if he'll agree," she giggled softly. "I wonder if he really meant what he said."

"I have a feeling that Emmett may have finally met his match," I commented.

She turned toward me, "Would that be a bad thing?"

I was going to have to remind myself more often to avoid looking so deeply into her eyes, for as she turned they pulled me in. I could tell her mind was definitely working on that promise because there was new depth to her eyes and deep within them was spark, almost as if I were watching in idea come to life; the fascination of her eyes reached deep within me and kept me riveted to one spot as I felt myself fall further into them. A deep never-ending cavern – that was the only way I could describe what I was seeing.

She kissed me lightly on the check before saying, "Thanks for walking me to class; I'll see you later," and then she opened door and walked in.

The look in her eyes had so enthralled me that I hadn't realized we never actually stopped walking. As I finally made it to class, I realized I wanted one thing, the bell to ring; I can honestly admit I had never endured a longer fifty-eight minutes.

Emmett's thoughts provided my only source of amusement as time lingered on; first he lamented Rose's cold shoulder treatment of him; in his mind he would rather have her ranting and raving instead of ignoring him completely. Next he ruminated about what promise Bella might extract from him. He began by basing his options on what Jasper, Alice or I might think up, but after a while, it dawned upon him that Bella wasn't like his other siblings. His internal conversation with himself actually provided some enlightenment to me about what he had learned about her over the past year.

'Bella is too nice to be devious. Ha, she was even willing to forgive Edward for only wanting her blood even though he was breaking her heart. Maybe she will ask me to take her someplace fun; someplace she has always wanted to go but her dad would not allow because of the dangers he feared for her, or maybe she wants some tips on kissing.' I almost laughed a loud when I realized he was non-verbally laughing to himself. 'Edward could use a few tips; I bet she's wishing he was a better kisser or maybe she wants to find a way to razz his berries. There are any number of suggestions I could give her; she might find some of Rose's helpful, but not the most helpful ones – no, Bella's not ready for some of her tricks . . .' and from that point his visions and thoughts become too personal and graphic so I backed out of his mind.

Before I left his class mentally, I caught a few of Rose's thoughts. 'If he let that blond paper shaker that near him, he is going to be missing a few body parts before the night is over, and as for Bella . . .' and that was when I focused back on class for the teacher was asking me question.

Between the wait, the droll voice of the teacher, and the ominous ticking of the clock, I thought I would not last, but finally the bell rang. I had to monitor my pace or someone would have noticed my inhuman speed, as it was, I reached Bella's locker before anyone else. Jasper and Alice arrived next.

"Alice had a vision, but she won't tell," Jasper hissed.

I turned searchingly toward Alice but she had jumped ahead of me and had some obnoxious tune running through her thoughts. I heard Bella before I saw her; in the short time we had been together, I had automatically registered the sound of her footsteps; in addition to that, I also smelt her, her aroma would always precede her and excite me. I turned toward the direction she would appear from, and waited with a huge grin on my face.

Just as she came into view, a senior wearing a leather jacket stepped from behind a column that decorated the halls – they also served as support for the roof of the school – and impeded her progress.

I don't think he had any idea that I could hear his words, but I began seething from the moment he stopped her.

"Hey sweet thing," he attempted to sound smooth, "how about you and I taking a ride on my bike." He hadn't even asked, it sounded more as if he was telling her what they should do.

Before I could move, Emmett stepped around Bella, grabbed the guy by the front of his jacket and snarled, "Don't ever talk to my sister that way again or I'll smear your remains on the school wall," then he let go and lightly pushed the guy but his light shove sent him staggering back into the lockers. Emmett then placed his arm around Bella's shoulder and said, "Come on sis, let's find your boyfriend."

Bella waited until the senior couldn't see her before she snickered into her hand, and then softly said, "Thanks Emmett."

Emmett, Rose, and Bella joined us at the same time, but Emmett didn't remove his arm from around her shoulder until he could pass her off to me.

As I wrapped my arm protectively around her, Emmett smiled down on her and asked, "So, ask what you will Bella, and I will will keep my word."

Rose looked on with a puzzled expression.

"Since you were kind enough to step in and save me, Emmett, I'm only going to ask for the first part of what I had in mind, but it will be enough to show me you are sorry for that little note you posted on Edward's locker."

Emmett smiled imagining she would let him off with some simple task, but I glanced at Alice and watched her smile broaden.

"Well, it's about the movies tonight." Emmett nodded his head knowing of which one she spoke. "Well, I thought it was shame we couldn't all go together," I noticed Jasper was about to say something but Alice squeezed his hand, "so I thought of a way we could all go. All you have to do, Emmett, is promise you will come with us and behave yourself."

Emmett's mouth fell open, "Behave myself meaning what exactly, Bella?"

Bella paused a moment before articulating, "Meaning, you keep your hands to yourself, and Rose does the same, then we can all enjoy the movie."

"No hands," Emmett murmured and then smiled as he asked, "What about lips?"

"How about no touching – period."

Emmett growled under his breath; I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know what he was thinking, but before I could say anything, Bella smiled brightly.

"You said 'anything' Emmett. Are you a man of his word?"

Emmett's key words to Bella had been calling her 'sis,' but Bella's had been to challenge the honesty of his promise.

Emmett smiled, "I did, didn't I. Well, a promise is a promise and I'll abide by it. Now please tell Rose where the lipstick and perfume came from."

Bella faced Rose a little hesitantly and offered, "I'm sorry Rose, I put the lipstick and the perfume on him, but only to get him back for what he put on Edward's locker."

Rose could have done many things at that moment, but I was happy when all she did was ask, "What did he put on Edward's locker?"

Bella pulled out the wadded up piece of paper, I hadn't realized that she took it, and handed it to Rose. As Rose read it she chuckled, "Well Edward, it looks like the kitten you are smitten with has a very sharp set of claws and they just scratched Emmett where he lives."

Her words caused all of us to laugh. All I could think at that moment was, 'That's my girl.'

After dropping Bella off at her house and promising to pick her up at eight that evening, I drove home feeling elated.

I spent the next few hours listening to Emmett bemoaning his fate.

"I can't believe she asked that. Edward, see if she'll change her mind. It's just not right. A night at the passion pit and no back seat bingo – it's just not fair. How can she do this?" He was pacing the living room as he whined. "How am I going to keep my hands off Rose and not break my promise?"

While he whined, he played a visual litany of what he was going to miss with Rose, and it finally became more than I could tolerate. "Emmett," I yelled. "Four hours is not going to kill you, and if it is necessary, we'll put Rose in the front seat with Alice and Jasper."

"No you won't," Jasper replied from upstairs.

"Think of it this way, you will be practicing self restraint and savoring the moment when we come home and then you and Rose can do whatever you please."

Emmett finally alighted on the sofa, but propped his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands.

At that instant, Bella's words echoed in my mind, 'I'm only going to ask for the first part of what I had in mind.' She had planned to ask for something else; I contemplated on what she might have had in mind, but could think of nothing else that she might have asked. I, however, could present an idea that might make him happy she didn't ask for more.

"You do realize that she let you off easy," I commented offhandedly.

He looked up as he asked, "Meaning what?"

I grinned wickedly as I said, "She could have asked that you abstain from all public displays of affection with Rose for the rest of the school year."

Emmett cupped his head again with his hands as he leaned into them and groan, "My little sister could never be that cruel," then he turned his head in his hands to look at me, "Could she?" he asked pitifully.

"Emmett, she's been taking lessons from you. Could you be that cruel to your siblings?" I wondered how honest his reply would be considering the bet he made with Jasper two years ago.

"I never told her about the Jasper incident, or even suggested I could ask that of anyone, and I have never been cruel around her – yes I'll admit I was teasing, but cruel, never."

"What about the flirting incident?" I asked. I could guess Bella had found that cruel, in a way, because Emmett's kind of flirting wasn't a part of her nature.

"I was helping," he protested, "How was I supposed to know she would become flustered by your devastating charm," he chuckled softly as he continued, "It was fun to watch your face, thought, as she walked away from you. You have to admit, she has a cute wiggle when she walks."

I laughed in reply, "Okay, I will admit you are right, but still, you have to admit it could be worse. What's one night compared to eternity? You'll do fine, and you'll allow Bella her revenge for your joke with the sign."

"But it was true, every word of it; Bella reminds me of a kitten, all cute and cuddly and you are smitten with her, so why was it so wrong to tell the truth?" Emmett sat up seeking an answer, so I provided one.

"First, you stuck it where everyone could see it. Bella is not as forward as you or Rose; she's shy and doesn't seem to like the limelight."

"Like when you kissed her in front of the entire student body in the cafeteria?" He snickered.

I chucked in response, "That took her completely by surprise, and I suspect she enjoyed it too. Besides, it served its purpose; Jim turned around and left her alone."

"Yeah, she did look a little dazed when you were done," he chortled in response.

"Second, I'm not sure Bella appreciated being compared to a kitten. Look, all joking aside, I think you deserved her retaliation, and you have to admit she was fairly lenient." I looked intently at him. "Emmett, you will survive this."

Emmett laughed heartily again. "You might be right but somehow it just won't seem the same; however, if I get to sit beside Bella, maybe I can find a way to still enjoy myself."

"Don't taunt or tease her tonight Emmett. I would like her to have a nice time tonight."

"You realize this is her first date ever. She admitted that to us when we discussed ways to get you to admit you liked her, so I guess I can do this. I'll keep reminding myself that this is about her and not Rose and me; besides, I can make this up to Rose later tonight." Emmett got up, "I'll see you later."

I knew where he was going, so I said, "Tell Rose what your plans are for after we come home and I think you'll placate her."

Emmett chortled heartily as walked away warning, "Maybe plans for before and after will work better, and in that case you don't want to hear or see what will be going through my mind for the next two hours, so you might want to find something else to occupy it."

Heeding Emmett's warning, I decided to take a quick hunting trip. I had told Bella her blood wasn't as tempting as before, but when I felt the nature thirst, her blood was still a temptation, and since we would be in a closed car for four or more hours, I decided I would quench even the minor thirst I was beginning to feel. Before leaving, I stopped at Jasper's study to ask if he wanted to accompany me; it didn't surprise me when he agreed it was a good security measure for him as well, and just before we left, Alice joined us claiming she needed to escape the noise that would soon issue forth from Rose and Emmett's room.

We were only half a mile from home when Esme caught up to us and we made it a foursome. I loved being in the woods. The forest provided one refuge I had from the bombardment of voices and other human related noises. Vampire hearing has its downfalls, but sometimes I really enjoy the benefits. In the spring, I enthusiastically ventured into the forests just to enjoy the songs from the different species of birds as they returned from their winter migrations. I once composed a piece consisting entirely of the music created by returning birds. I had spent an entire week carefully listening to their music and pulling out only the pieces I felt melded well into the finished song. It would be something I would play for Bella during one of her visits.

50's slang

Razz his berries – excite him

Paper shaker – cheerleader

Passion pit – drive-in theater

Back seat bingo – making out in the back seat

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**AN: I, the Cullen family, and my beta readers all appreciate the wonderful reviews that have been left for this story. Please, if you haven't done so yet, leave a review and tell us what you think.**


	22. Chapter 22 First Date

**AN: The Cullen Family and Bella Swan from Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer; the events, however belong to the author of this story.**

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**Journal Entry Fifteen – First Date [1958]**

It was a huge mistake to allow Alice to drive only because she decided to do the speed limit. Now I realize she only did this to exacerbate me but still, I could have walked to Bella's house faster than she drove – at least at vampire speed walking. I could not help it that I missed Bella even though we had only been apart for five hours, but still, Alice did not have to torture me like this, and even worse was the fact that I was sitting in the back between Rose and Emmett and both their thoughts were on what they would do after the movie was over. At first, Rose had found Bella's restriction on Emmett amusing, but after their amorous activities after school, all they could think about was each other and a repeat performance of their previous activities.

When we finally reached Bella's house, Emmett wanted to blow the horn for her, which I proclaimed as very bad behavior. I could just image how Bella's father would have reacted to that bit of disrespect for his daughter; I could envision him barring me from the house and from seeing Bella. It was not a smart move in my opinion to upset and alienate her father so, after restraining Emmett from ruining what little approval I had from her father, I exited the car and approached Bella's front door; her father greeted me before I could ring the doorbell.

Her father, a frown prominent on his face, stood at the door. "Where are the two of you going? Who is going along with you? When do you plan to have her back home?" He shot the questions out in rapid succession.

'Nothing like feeling welcome,' I thought, but instead of being offended, I calmly replied, "Good evening Mr. Swan. We are going to the drive-in with my brothers and sisters," I motioned toward them with my hand, "and we should be home around 1:30 or so," and I hastily added, "It is a double feature."

His frown deepened as he said, "That's rather late . . ."

Mrs. Swan stepped in the doorway next to her husband, "Richard, leave the poor boy alone. Edward, it is good to see you. Won't you come in? Bella is almost ready."

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Swan," I said as I stepped forward and they both moved further into the house. Mrs. Swan walked over to the staircase and called, "Bella, Edward is here."

"Coming!" Bella replied and I heard her footsteps as she moved across the floor and headed toward the stair causing me to move toward them as well.

She beamed down on me as she appeared at the top of the stairs. No matter how often I saw her, she appeared more beautiful to me each time. I returned her smile as I watched her hastily descend the stair.

Her father, who stood behind me, said, "Slow down Bella," just as she began to plunge face first down the stairs.

Once again, I stepped forward, but at human speed this time, to catch her before she hurt her. As I held her in my arms, I whispered, "We have to stop meeting like this," which caused her to giggle.

"Bella, tripping and nearly killing yourself isn't funny," her father warned sternly. His thoughts revealed more than what he said; he hated the idea that I had caught her and not him, and I knew seeing Bella in my arms particularly disgruntled him.

I put Bella on her feet, and while she smoothed out her skirt she replied, "No dad, it's not, but having someone catch me is. That's twice Edward has stopped me from injuring myself; I think it's nice that he was here to help."

"Humph," her father snorted as he stared at both of us filling the air with pent up tension. 'Why can't he just go away and leave her alone; she doesn't need this right now. In the end, he will just hurt her when . . .'

"Richard," Bella's mom broke into the tension and disrupted his thought, "Go watch television or something," then she turned to Bella and I, "You two go and have a nice time," and then she ushered us out of the house.

I took hold of her hand and as we walked toward the car, I asked Bella, "Is your dad always so overly defensive?"

"What do you mean 'defensive?'?" She almost stopped walking but my grip on her hand kept her moving.

Sometimes I forget that others don't hear what I hear because it isn't spoken a loud. "Your father thinks I'm going to leave you, and he wishes that I would just leave you alone before I hurt you."

"Dad means well, and he has his reasons, but honestly Edward, he really only has my best interest in mind. He'd do anything to make sure no one and nothing ever hurt me again."

"Well, he's wrong you know," I smiled as I gazed down into her eyes.

"About me being hurt?" She asked as she returned my gaze.

"Okay, that too, but I meant about leaving you. I will never leave you," I assured her as I wrapped my arm around her waist just before we arrived at the car. As we did reach it, I opened to door for her and she slid in, but then Emmett picked her up and placed her between him and Rose meaning I had to sit next to him.

"Come on let's go before all the good spots are taken," Emmett exclaimed.

Emmett's idea of a good spot was the last row in one of the darker corners, but I doubted Alice would choose such a spot. I did feel sorry for Bella since she admitted Rose scared her, the only member of the family who did scare her, and now she had to sit beside her. I resolved to change places with her after we reached the drive-in.

This time Alice drove faster because the drive-in was, driving at a normal speed, generally thirty minutes away, but at her speed, we made it in half the time. I noticed that as Alice picked up speed, Bella closed her eyes. I would have to discover if that was a result of carsickness or just the speed.

As I watched her face, I realized I still only knew a little about her. I knew she was a walking accident waiting to happen, she loved to read, and she preferred solitude to large socialization groups or gatherings. I didn't know what types of movies she enjoyed; I could only hope she would like Alice's choices for tonight. I also didn't know how she envisioned her future. Most girls dreamt of marriage, children, and house but I could only provide two of the three and I didn't know if anyone had informed her of that fact. I also didn't know her favorite flower or color.

As we reached the drive-in, I watched as Bella grimaced, and I interpreted that to mean she did not enjoy horror movies. Maybe I should have asked her what she did and did not like before I allowed Alice to choose a movie, but then Alice would have foreseen Bella's reaction and still she picked something Bella would not enjoy. Even rummaging around in Alice's mind did not reveal what she had been thinking when she picked The Blob and Horror of Dracula. The last movie made me switch gears and I realized Alice hadn't picked the movies, Emmett had. Only Emmett's twisted sense of humor would find a Dracula movie appropriate entertainment for a car full of vampires and one lone human.

I discovered the one thing I disliked about Bella's punishment of Emmett was the fact that I too felt like the punished offender. At that moment, I wanted to sit right beside Bella; I wanted to be able to put my arm around her, have her lean against me, and inhale her sensual aroma. At that moment, I hated Emmett and envied him at the same time because when he returned home he would be able to do all those things with Rose and more.

As soon as we parked, I suggested, "Emmett, let me change places with Bella."

"Why?"

Under my breath so Bella could not hear, I replied, "In case she needs to make a trip to the ladies room."

Emmett mouthed "Oh," as he exited the car and then held out a hand to Bella, "May I help you, little sis?"

Bella laughed as she replied, "Nice try, you can help but my requirement for this evening stands."

Emmett laughed as he pulled her out of the car. "Really Bella, I was only trying to be helpful; no ulterior motive was intended, but at least you're wary enough of me to know what I'm capable of doing." As soon as Bella was out of the car, Emmett motioned to the door saying, "After you Edward."

I had to admit to myself at that moment that I also felt jealous that Emmett had an easier, friendlier relationship than I had with Bella. I saw that I still had a ways to go before my relationship with Bella was deeper and much more meaningful than just the deep gnawing hunger I felt to be as near to her as possible. Therefore, as I slid into the back seat, I made myself a promise to learn everything I could about Bella including all her likes, dislikes, dreams, and nightmares. I wanted to know about her childhood, her past and present friends, any attachments she might have had before entering my life, and anything else in her life that was important to her.

After everyone was in the car, I suddenly remembered that, as a human, Bella might want something to eat and drink. "Would you like something from the concession stand, Bella?"

"Yes, but I can get it myself."

"Hell, no Bella. When you're on a date, you let your escort pay for your food," Emmett scolded. "Bella, don't you ever go Dutch; that's only for people who go out as friends but never for a dating couple. If he isn't willing to pay your way then he isn't serious about you."

"My error, Emmett, I'll remember that from now on." Bella then leaned forward to see around Emmett and said, "I really don't want anything at the moment Edward but thank you for asking."

"You will let me know though when you're hungry or thirsty?" I asked as I too leaned forward and smiled at her.

"Yes, I will," and then we both sat back against the seat of the car, and I heard Bella release a small sigh.

I could identify with her sigh because I was beginning to feel extremely awkward with Emmett between us. I yearned to put my arm around Bella, but that was impossible with Emmett in the way. Why I ever agreed to a triple date was beyond me at that moment, especially since Jasper and Alice slid toward each other and cuddled in the front seat. I should have driven and then Bella and I would be in the front seat while Jasper and Alice played chaperone for the voluptuous duet.

There were some awkwardly quiet moments while we waited for the movie to start. Bella and Alice talked about the upcoming dance and made plans for Alice to go over to Bella's house to help her get ready. Alice still wouldn't tell Emmett, Jasper, or I what costumes she had chosen, and she had definitely closed her mind to me about what they had purchased but from the conversation that evening, I had an idea that I would appreciate the costume Alice had chosen for Bella.

As the movie finally started, we all settled back to watch what the offering on the large scene, and for the first time, we actually had to turn the volume up on the speaker and hang the speaker on the inside of the window so Bella could hear. The Horror of Dracula was the first movie shown.

It didn't take long to see how Bella reacted to horror movies. Within the first fifteen minutes, Bella ended up burying her face into Emmett's shoulder saying, "Tell me when it's over."

Emmett only chuckled but I wondered if she meant the scene or the movie. The next shoulder-burying event came less than ten minutes later when the character drove the stake through the female vampire's heart. While we all saw this as humorous, my poor Bella found it horrifying even when Emmett reminded her it was just a movie. To her it didn't matter, it still terrified her and she assured Emmett she would have nightmares from it. From there, it just went downhill as the movie continued. This didn't seem to be much of a first date for her.

We hadn't even progressed to the midpoint of the film and Bella already had her face hidden most of the time against Emmett's arm. On my other side, Rose began to internally growl because of the contact between Emmett and Bella, and Emmett had his thoughts focused on how warm Bella felt against him. Rose was not the only one who felt the green-eyed monster creeping into her I felt it too. Who would have thought that I would become jealous of my own brother just because of the contact he was having with Bella?

I finally had enough, and I asked Bella, "Would you like to take a walk, and take your mind off the movie?"

Bella slowly looked around Emmett's chest, avoiding any visual contact with the screen, and smiled while nodding her consent.

Bella opened the door, and Emmett followed her out of the car, as did I. Before we left, I warned Emmett, "Don't break your promise to behave," then I wrapped my arm around Bella and led her toward the back of the parking area.

"I'm sorry about this; it seems as if our first date isn't working out to well," I commented.

Bella laughed as she replied, "It's more my fault than yours; if I hadn't made that punishment up for Emmett, we'd have the back seat all to ourselves and you have found another way to occupy my time so I wouldn't have had to watch the movie."

"Is that what you really want?"

Bella laughed again, and then I felt the heat from her face that indicated she was blushing. "Yeah, I think it is. I enjoy being with you, and Sunday afternoon was extremely enjoyable."

I noticed we had almost reached the back fence, and it was darker there than most other places at the drive-in. "Bella, have you ever had a boyfriend before?"

"No, never; why do you ask?"

"Just curious, you asked the other night about my kissing other girls, so I was wondering if you kissed any other boys before." I hadn't investigated that area of her life while we spoke on Saturday.

"Well, not to shock you, but the answer is yes."

We were still walking so I couldn't see her face, but her admission cause a tinge of jealousy to ripple through me. "Was he someone special?" She had said she never had a boyfriend before, so why would she be kissing some boy?

Her giggle was nice, but her laugh was utterly delightful, and before she answered she enchanted me with her laugh, but her words elated me, "Not likely, he was a classmate in first grade and he did it on a dare. It was awful because he did it at lunch and he had a milk mustache that he smeared on my lips. Like I said, it was nasty," she then turned her head and looked into my eyes. "There was absolutely no comparison between that kiss and the first one you gave me."

"No milk mustache, right," I chuckled.

She laughed in return, "No, only sweet lovely lips that left me breathless and still do for that matter."

We had reached the fence and I turned her around so her back was to it, then I stepped toward her knowing she would have to take a step back putting her right up against the fence, and I then had her right where I wanted her. I stretched out my arms and placed them on either side of her arms but close enough to pin her arms lightly to her side. "Now, Miss Swan, about your earlier comment; I think I have an idea that will occupy your time and take your mind completely off the violence occurring on the screen." I then leaned in and kissed her, gently at first, but once we started and I felt the passion she was returning, I allowed myself to pour some of my passion also into the kiss. I'm not sure how she removed her arms, or if I moved mine first, but soon her fingers were running through my hair and electrifying my senses through her touch, and I had my arms wrapped around her pulling her closer to me.

Some actions about that kiss I missed, like when my arms left her side and wrapped around her, but the kiss I focused meticulously on so that I didn't do anything to harm Bella.

To explain this fully I should add right here, that kissing a human is not dangerous unless our teeth cut the humans mouth or tongue allowing our venom to enter the human's blood stream. Any exchange of human saliva and vampire venom is safe unless the human has an open sore in or on their mouth, so whenever I kissed Bella, I made sure I didn't cut her tongue or mouth, and, through my sense of smell, I made sure that she didn't have any open sores in her mouth.

No matter what Emmett said, for someone who had never really kissed a girl, in the romantic sense, I thought I was becoming a decent kisser; the problem was that Bella, after a few minutes, would stop breathing, and I'm not sure if it were due to my kissing skills or the fact she was to wrapped up in what was happening.

Case in point, I had to pull slightly away and remind her, "Breath Bella," and she responded by taking a deep breath and then slowly letting it out. The problem on my side was, as she took the deep breath, I could not help but watch as her chest rose and fell with her breath. Pulling my eyes away from her well-formed figure, I looked into her eyes and asked, "Would you like to go back to the car."

"Not really if it means we can no longer keep my mind focused away from the movie," she replied.

"We could always take a page from Emmett's book and just make out in the back seat even though they are sitting there," I suggested chuckling.

Bella snickered, "I would love to see the look on Emmett's face if we did that. The question is, are we brave enough to do it?" She finished while looking up at me with those heavenly brown eyes.

"I'm willing if you are, and just to help, I'll sit next to Emmett so if you want to look you can," I smiled down at her. This could actually be enjoyable considering Emmett was always taunting me about my monk-like existence, and now I would hold and kiss my ravishing brown-eyed beauty and he would have to sit and watch.

Bella laughed as we started to walk back toward the car.

"Bella, have you ever thought about acting?" I casually asked.

"Do you mean like in a school play or something?" She turned her head to look at me before focusing once again on where she was walking.

"Well, something like that," I smiled as I said it wondering if she would be willing to go along with the idea that began to formulate in my mind.

She looked at me again, "Edward, what are you planning?"

This time I looked at her, "Can you read my mind?" I asked.

"No, but your face is very readable, and it is telling me you have something in mind, and from that look right there," and she pointed to my eyes and touched my lips with her finger, "I would say you are planning something devious."

"Well, sort of, but it will only work if you feel comfortable with it and how well you can act."

"Okay, do remember that day at your locker when I came up and made the comment about you coming into my room?" She asked.

I nodded; how could I forget that day. Her blush had heightened her scent sending chills down my already cold back, but the swing of her hips as she walked away sent the chills away and made me feel almost warm inside; it wasn't until much later that I realized that warmth was the beginning of desire.

"That is how well I can act," she replied. "Emmett was upset because I forgot most of my lines and then I blushed so much that I just had to escape. It was so embarrassing."

"Oh, but that was before you felt comfortable around me and wasn't sure how I felt about you. Now you know how I feel, and I've noticed that you are comfortable enough around Emmett, Alice, and Jasper to joke and tease them. This wouldn't be too much different, but it would require you to be bold enough to kiss me in front of them."

Bella chuckled, "Edward, I've been around your family long enough that I know if we kiss in your house, I'm already kissing around them, and that they hear every conversation that we have." Bella stopped walking and turned toward me. "Look, I have learned through the past few months how to pretend that they are not around, especially when something is going on that would embarrass me if I admitted everyone saw or heard me. I think if you want me to I could do that even in the car."

"What I had in mind was to see if we would make Emmett say 'uncle.' He is always bragging about his romantic exploits. Of course, we wouldn't be quite as explicit as he and Rose are at times, but we could make it interesting." My idea was to sit in the back seat, ignore Emmett, and make out right next to him. It would be interesting to see how long we could go before Emmett begged us to stop, especially since he gave his word not to get involved with Rose in that manner.

Bella took a moment to answer; I could tell she was thinking about it, but I couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking. Finally, she said, "It would just be kissing. Nothing compromising, no clothes being opened or removed, nothing shown that would be embarrassing, right?" She asked in a rush as I sensed her blush rising.

"No, we would do nothing that would embarrass you in that manner, just some passionate kissing like back at the fence."

I was beginning to have second thoughts about this idea, but then Bella took my hand and said, "Okay, I'm in, and I hope I don't laugh and ruin it."

I squeezed her hand gently and replied, "Just follow my lead, and if you begin to laugh, I'll pretend I'm tickling you," I felt I had to ask one more time before we returned, "Are you sure?" She smiled at me, nodded, and then turned as we once again started walking toward the car.

When we reached the car, I opened the door and told Emmett, "Move over, I'm sitting next to Bella this time." Emmett gladly slid as close to Rose as possible. I got in first, and then Bella followed; she took Emmett's lead and snuggled right next to me.

At first, I was unsure how to start, and I felt a little uncomfortable knowing I was about to make out with Bella in front of my siblings. It was one thing to know they could hear me; it was another to know they were watching. Then I heard Alice, 'I like the idea, this should be fun.'

With that encouragement, I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulder, turned slightly toward her, and gently kissed her. In return, she turned enough so she could wrap her arms around my neck and I moved my arms to encircle her waist, and then we both leaned toward each other and kissed again, but this time it wasn't a quick kiss, but a long lingering one.

I'm not sure how it got out of hand so fast, but it did. We only began by kissing, and I thought I would heat it up a little for Emmett, so I pulled Bella's blouse out of the band of her skirt, and decided I would unbutton the bottom two buttons and run my hands around her bare waist. Then the next thing I knew Bella was straddling my lap, nipping my ear, and then kissing my neck while I kissed hers. Her touch sent pleasurable surges running through my body, and I felt goose bumps rising up on her skin where I touched her. Those surges caused me a little discomfort in the lower regions of my body, and with Bella straddling my lap I knew she could probably feel the rising problem, yet she did not seemed shocked or surprised.

Time wise, I don't think we kissed or run our hands over each other for an extended amount of time before I heard Emmett say, "Jasper, that's enough."

To which he replied, "I haven't done anything. This is all them."

I had a vague idea that Bella had begun running her hands down my chest, when suddenly Emmett said, "That's enough," and Bella softly screeched and was instantly gone.

When I opened my eyes, I looked past Emmett and saw Rose glaring at Bella who was sitting on her lap, Alice was in the front seat snickering, and Emmett, well his look would had petrified a mere human but I'd seen that scowling fierce look before.

Bell hung her head and softly said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to get so carried away." Then she raised her eyes enough to look at me while her face turned bright red.

"Edward, what are you thinking? Do you want those kids at school to think she's 'fast?' You gave the couple beside us an eye full. I mean, back seat bingo is one thing, but you were close to going beyond that."

"And there you were saying what a wet rag he was," Jasper intoned.

"Emmett," Rose growled, "Remove this human from my lap instantly."

The look on Bella's face went from a small smile to instant fear when Rose growled. Luckily, Emmett wasted no time in removing Bella from Rose's lap and setting her on his, which made me none too happy.

"Edward, as much as I like both of you, I think you need to be more careful; I mean, that was just, well it was . . ." he paused as he looked first at Bella, who was still blushing, and then me. "Oh great, now I'm sounding like a parent." He then looked at Bella as he said, "You're ruining me, you know. If I have to start watching out for your virtue around Edward, I might have to turn into your chaperone," I heard Rose growl under her breath at that comment.

I watched as Bella smiled at Emmett and then caressed his cheek as she said, "Really Emmett, it was only an act. Edward and I wanted to see if we could make you say uncle."

"Uncle," Emmett smiled back.

I sat stunned, if I hadn't known better, I would have said Bella mesmerized him, but that was not possible. Vampires could mesmerize humans, but the reverse – well, it was simply unheard of, and yet here I was seeing it with my own eye.

"Thanks Emmett, now can I sit next to Edward if we promise to behave?"

Alice and Jasper could hardly contain their laughter as they watched the interaction between the two, and I had a feeling this wasn't the first time they had seen this. I stared at Alice as I searched her thoughts for an answer, but she must have noticed my look for suddenly she silently said, 'She's had Emmett wrapped around her finger for almost a year, but don't tell Rose.'

I quickly looked back at Bella and saw Emmett letting her get up and then she slid off Emmett's lap and sat beside me while a silence settled in the car.

Jasper broke the silence, "I guess we owe you two an apology," he said as he looked at Bella and me. "While you were gone, Emmett decided to play a trick on you both because of Bella's restriction on him. I was supposed to use my talent to influence you to become, shall we say, more romantic except I never had a chance to do anything because you two were all over each other before I was ready to do any influencing."

Bella began to laugh first and then Alice followed, before I could say anything, I heard both Jasper and Rose laughing. I looked over at Emmett and then we both burst out laughing as well.

Alice finally broke in and asked, "Does anyone really want to stay and finish watching the movie?"

In perfect unison, we all replied, "No."

Rose immediately replaced the speaker while Alice started the car. "It's still early, why don't we go home and do something that Bella might enjoy more than a horror movie," Alice stated as she maneuvered off the mound and onto the road that would lead to the exit.

Overall, I had to admit to myself that maybe our first date hadn't been a total debacle.

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50's Slang

Back seat bingo – making out

Fast – someone who is sexually active

Wet rag – someone who's just no fun


	23. Chapter 23 Halloween Dance

**AN: As with all other chapters, we relinquish ownership rights of the Cullen family and Bella to the Stephenie Meyer, to do claim ownership to the other characters – good and bad – plus the story lines that occur. Thanks for reading.**

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**Journal Entry Sixteen – Halloween Dance [1958]**

That night, after our first date, Bella became more verbose than usual as she dreamt about a large blob with fangs chasing her, which was interesting since we hadn't stayed for that second movie but had only seen previews for it. Being the steadfast protector as promised, however, I laid beside her, wrapped my arms around her, and whispered words of reassurance that nothing would harm her; in return, she snuggled closer to me and wrapped her slender, soft, warm arms around me, and then buried her face against my neck.

Her heat amazed me. It was as if my body just drank it in, but I worried that imbibing her heat would leave her colder than her body could tolerate, so I pulled the blanket further up her body to help insulate her from my cold. In the process, however, of pulling the blanket up around her, I accidentally brushed my hand against her breast causing her to moan enticingly. I still feared that what her nearness did to me would eventually offend her, but at that moment, I couldn't pull away from her without disturbing her sleep so I had to find other ways to occupy my mind.

Bella, however, did not make that easy because she was so close to me that every time she murmured in her sleep, her warm breath grazed across my ear sending warm surges through my body. In addition, what she murmured the most while I held her was my name, which flowed lovingly out of her mouth as if she meant to caress me with it, and that too caused emotional pleasures to surge down into me and constricted my heart. After that night, I vowed to myself that Bella would not watch any more horror movies. Not that I didn't enjoy the closeness because I definitely did, no my concern pertained to my ability to maintain control on feelings that were new and had much more affect on me than I ever thought possible. The question for me, concerning our close contact, was 'Could I continue to reign in my desires for her?'

That night with her, however, did make for an interesting experience because she entwined her body with mine in some interesting but tempting ways. As morning neared, Bella began by shedding her blankets and finally her sheet, then threw her leg over me and pulled herself so close to me it would have been surprising if a single sheet of writing paper would have had room the slide between us, and finally pressed her lips against my chest. The intimacy of the embrace was slightly embarrassing because of my unintentional reaction, and if her parents had walked into the room, they would have viewed it as a compromising position even though I was fully clothed. Of course, her parents would never have seen us because I would have been gone before they touched the doorknob. Considering her father's distrust of me, it was providential that I was capable of moving so quickly.

I do admit the look on Bella's face when she finally woke up and looked up at me was heart stopping, but still, it was worth all the discomfort I had been experiencing from her breath on my chest and her wiggling and squirming against me.

"Good morning precious, did you sleep well," I smiled broadly, as she gazed up into my eyes.

"I must have, since you were here with me. Did I have a nightmare?" As she spoke her chin, which rested on my chest, vibrated causing tremors to run down my chest.

"Yes," I said softly.

"I knew that was why you were here with me."

I chuckled as I replied, "I'm always here with you."

"No," she too laughed softly, "I meant here in my bed. Usually you sit on the other side of the room and only move near the bed when I'm waking up. The last time you stayed with me in bed was the night of my birthday party."

"Maybe it's time for you to get up," I murmured into her hair as I tilted my head down to kiss the top of her head.

"Why, I'm enjoying this. It feels so nice to have your arms wrapped around me." She wrapped her arms tighter – well, tighter for her anyway – around me and gazed up into my eyes.

"As much as I too enjoy this closeness, I think for safety purposes we should put a little bit of space between us," I stared deeply into her eyes trying to speak to her without verbally telling her what was happening.

"Oh, I think I understand," she smiled as she pushed slowly away from me.

Even her hands on my chest caused unexpected stimulation. How would I ever be able to tell her how much I really wanted her, and the even bigger question was 'How was I ever going to wait until we were married to show her how much I really wanted her?'

My eyes hungrily followed her as she finally left the bed and gathered up her clothes for the day. After she left the room, I began a mental calculation of how soon we could actually get married. I would leave it up to her as to whether I changed her before or after the ceremony.

*********************************************

The weeks leading up to the Halloween dance flew by swiftly. It still amazed me that I now looked forward to each new day. Bella and I had developed a routine for our days. Every night I spent in her bedroom diligently monitoring her for any sign of sleepwalking while she provided nightly entertainment through her sleep talking, and after the blob vampire nightmare, her dreams settled down into milder dreams mostly about us since she uttered my name quite often as she slept. During the day, we spent as much time together as possible. I routinely picked her up for school each morning after hastily running home to change and procure my car – usually having to listen to Emmett's teasing and Alice and Jasper's assurance that Bella and I were a perfect match. Then drove her home after school where I stayed to spend time with her until her father came home, at which point I would return home until I could return after she retired for the night, and then I spent the night in her room. On weekends, Alice invited her over so Bella and I could spend some uninterrupted time together.

The students at school came to accept us as a couple, and the boys stopped asking Bella to go to the dance with them. I still regretted the fact that we didn't share any classes and I began planning our schedules for the next school year. She was due to take calculus and the only way I could take that with her was if I failed it this year. It would be easy enough to do, but then Carlisle and Esme would be disappointed.

Gym would be the easiest class for us to schedule at the same time, but other than that, we could only share elective classes. I had already decided we could both take astronomy for our science class, but history might be a complication because of the school requirements. The school required seniors to take government while junior had to take American history. If Bella could test out of American history, though, she could advance into government. I decided it would be worth a try, but I would hold off until spring to talk to her about it. One elective I desired to share with Bella was French; if she learned a little French then I could take her to Paris for our honeymoon.

I spent most of my classes manipulating class schedule ideas and listening in to Bella's classmates and teachers to monitor the events in her day. At lunch, we dominated each other's time talking about ourselves. At first, I asked questions about her likes and dislikes intending to learn everything possible about her, but Bella answered my questions reluctantly. I say reluctantly because it always felt as if she held back on certain facts she shared. After the third day of me asking all the questions, Bella finally declared that she would ask the next set of questions. She claimed she wanted to learn just as much about me as I did about her, so we agreed that we would take turns.

The two weeks leading up to the dance followed the same pattern until the Thursday. It was advantageous that Halloween was on Friday that year. That Thursday, though, Alice dominated both Bella and Rose's time. She claimed the three of them had a lot to talk about in preparation for the dance, so Emmett, Jasper, and I decided to leave school at lunch and spend the rest of the day hunting. Generally, when I hunt, I focused solely on what I'm doing, but that day, I had a hard time concentrating because thoughts of Bella kept invading my thoughts.

I did manage to obtain enough to drink to keep myself satisfied for the next two weeks, but on the way home, I had one goal, to find Bella as quickly as possible and spend the rest of the evening with her. I changed as soon as we reached home and sped to her house.

As I reached her bedroom window, I found her already asleep, so I quietly opened the window, entered her room, and then walked over to the bed. As I reached the bed, I noticed something white on her nightstand. Picking it up, I noticed my name written on the outside of a folded sheet of paper, and inside, it read:

_Dearest Edward:_

_A day without you is like a day without sunshine. I mourned your absence. My soul felt incomplete and my heart wept, but I know the absence was necessary. I stayed awake as long as possible waiting for you, but my eyes finally defeated me, so I wrote this quickly and placed it where you would find it. Know that I love you with every fiber of my being, and that without you I feel like an empty shell. Please grant me one wish; after reading this missive, please kiss me good night._

_All my love - Bella_

Her note caused my chest to tighten again – a habitual yet amiable consequence of her affection – and my love for her increased to a point where I felt like I would burst with happiness. Placing the note back on the nightstand, I laid down beside her on the bed, wrapped my arms around her causing her to snake her arms around me, and then I kissed her. It began as a simple good night kiss, but Bella, even in her sleep, responded to my lips and began to kiss me back.

Between the electricity of her lips, the warmth of her body and arms, and her exhilarating aroma, I allowed the kiss to become more passionate than I meant. Soon her fingers were running through my hair until Bella finally grab my hair in order to pull me deeper into the kiss. Her heart raced and her breathing stopped as she poured all her passion into the kiss. My protective side finally kicked in when I realized she was no longer breathing, and I gently pulled away from her causing a deep sorrowful moan to escape her lips, but with that moan came a breath. Her heart still raced, but at least she was breathing. I finally managed to coax her fingers out of my hair and then I whispered in her ear, ever so softly, "I love you Bella."

Still asleep, she replied, "I love you Edward."

I stayed beside her until I was sure she was sleeping peacefully, and then I took my usual position on the other side of the room.

On Friday, I discovered that Alice had arranged for Bella to spend the night with her. Of course, we all knew that I would really be the one to spend the night with Bella. Bella's mother had also agreed to allow Bella to go home with Alice after school. Alice had explained that it would take time to do Bella's hair so it would go well with her costume, and she agreed to take a picture of Bella after she was all dressed. None of the girls would reveal any of the details about the costumes, so I remained in the dark about what to expect. Both of my sisters found creative ways to keep from revealing anything. Every time I was around them Alice would recite the periodic table, and Rose blocked me by thinking about way to improve the engines in each of our cars.

For as much as anyone learned that day, it would have better if the administration had decided to cancel school. Friday was one of those days when it was easier for me if I tuned every one out because all they thought or talked about was the dance and who was wearing what to it.

The day seemed to drag by, even lunch seemed extra long, but when the last bell finally rang, I was at Bella's classroom door waiting to escort her to her locker.

I don't know why I hurried home because once I walked through the front door with my arm around Bella's waist Alice accosted us and rushed Bella off to her room claiming she needed every minute before the dance to get Bella ready. Regretfully, I was once again alone but not by choice.

At least I wasn't the only one whose other half had deserted him for I found Emmett and Jasper in the living room arm wrestling.

"I see you are both in no better shape than I am," I commented as I sat down to observe the disproportionate match. It would seem obvious that Emmett would win because he had more muscle and weight on his side, but Jasper's unique ability evened out the match.

Jasper laughed as he replied, "We have been informed that we can only enter our bedrooms at 7:30 and our costumes are laid out on our beds. Alice knows it will not take any of us more than half an hour to dress and she wants to leave here five minutes before the dance starts so we'll be there precisely at eight pm."

"Did she explain the importance of the timing?" her preciseness heightened my curiosity.

"I asked, but she just smiled and said I would find out when everyone else did," Jasper replied as he continued his competition with Emmett.

"Would you two stop talking, you're breaking my concentration," Emmett growled.

His frustration also indicated that Jasper was close to winning, so I said, "Just finish it Jasper and I'll take your place."

Jasper laughed and I watched as Emmett's arm began to shake and the deadlock with both arms straight up began to inch its way toward Jasper's win. Whatever emotion he fed to Emmett seemed to work because Emmett's arm progressed more quickly to the table until Jasper finally forced it down on the table completely. Then Jasper jumped up and said, "He's all yours."

"No," Emmett said as he too jumped up, "First I need to satisfy this d--- thirst you inflicted me with," and with that said, Emmett ran out the back door while Jasper and I both burst out laughing.

"I wondered what emotion you would use against him," I laughed.

"Well it was the only other option since Alice would have killed me if I had made him run upstairs to Rose," he chuckled as he replied.

Jasper and I spent the rest of the late afternoon playing cards, and when Emmett finally returned, he joined us. Our choice of entertainment helped pass the time quicker than when I had been at school.

As soon as 7:30 arrived, all three of us figuratively flew up to our rooms. I stood stunned when I spotted a wolf skin lying on my bed. I could only wonder what Alice had in mind. Rummaging around in my memory, I pulled out the fact that the theme of the Dance was fictional or storybook couples. With the wolf skin, I ruled out fictional characters since I couldn't name any fictional characters that were wolves. If the costume had looked more like a beast, I would have thought Alice paired us as Beauty and the Beast, but he wasn't wolfish, and I honestly hoped she wasn't dressing Bella as one of the little pigs. Instead of trying to figure it out, I decided to don the costume and wait downstairs with Emmett and Jasper.

Alice had been right about the time; it took me less than ten minutes to put the costume on including the head that came with it, and then I walked downstairs. Emmett and Jasper had taken less time. Emmett had a bear costume on and Jasper looked like either a goat or a sheep.

I couldn't help but laugh at Emmett because his was perfect, almost as if Alice wanted to show him off for what he was, and in response to my laugh, Emmett growled.

"Practicing your lines Papa Bear?" I asked

"Where's your sheepskin, or is Jasper wearing it?"

I stared at Jasper, and then we all laughed as I said, "Jasper, you're the only herbivore among us carnivorous blood suckers; maybe you need some protection little lamb."

We had been laughing so hard that we didn't hear the girls coming down the stairs because Alice surprised us all when she said, "That's my job."

Alice was dressed as a shepherdess even down to the curved staff, which she reached out, hooked Jasper with, and then pulled him toward her.

Rose was right behind her; she had curls in her long blond hair, a pale pink flouncy dress; the kind that had the crinoline slip under it to provide a little more fullness. She also had a white pinafore over the dress. My fairy tales where falling into to place at the sight of those two and I realized Rose was Goldilocks, and Emmett was just who I called him – Papa Bear. As for Alice and Jasper, they were obviously Mary and her little lamb, which meant I was probably the big bad wolf to Bella's Little Red Riding Hood.

As I looked past Rose for Bella, I noticed she was missing so I turned to Alice with a question on my face.

"She'll be down in a moment; you're so impatient. Too bad the head covers your face, I think it would be interesting to see the look on your face when you see her," and just then I heard a noise at the top of the stairs and looked up.

Bella had paused momentarily at the top of the stairs and looked down at our group, but the instant I saw her I stopped breathing. She definitely was Little Red Riding Hood, and the majority of her costume cried 'little girl.' Alice had done her hair in two perfect braids that she then wound into two coils on Bella's head giving her a little girl look. In addition, the skirt of her dress was short like a child's coming just above her knee, while her legs were covered with a pair of white knee socks and she had a pair of black patent leather mary janes on her feet. She did have a red cape over her shoulders, but the hood of the cape was not up.

To complete the outfit, she too wore a white pinafore over her dress, and the pinafore's bodice highlighted rather than covered up the bodice of the dress because underneath the pinafore was not the bodice of a child's dress. No, Alice either had chosen this costume carefully or had modified it because the bodice hugged Bella in the right place and it screamed 'I'm an entrancing woman!' Anyone who saw her, would see exactly what I was seeing, a child-like young woman who was more than beautiful.

I was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her before she took the first step down, and I still hadn't drawn a breath. As she reached the bottom step, I gulped a lung full of air before I could speak. "You're a goddess in red," I finally said as I took her hand.

"Picture time," Alice chirped merrily before I could say any more, and right on cue, Esme appeared with a camera in hand.

Esme seemed 'snap' happy that evening and I thought we would never arrive at the dance on time like Alice wanted, but Alice seemed to have some internal clock, because right at five minutes before the hour, she had us herded out to the car and ready to leave. She allowed me to drive because she knew I drove faster than anyone else in the family did.

Alice had everything timed perfectly. We arrived promptly at eight p.m. and were actually the first students in the gym for the dance and dance was exactly what Alice ordered us to do, and she warned us not to remove our costume heads until she gave the word.

When the other students began to trickle in, they saw three couples dancing, three beautiful women, and their beastly partners. The non-verbal comments were absorbing, most concurred that Emmett appeared as big as a bear, and they would not have been surprised if he began to growl. I couldn't ignore such a compelling opportunity, so I quietly shared the comments with him and suggested he growl if anyone approached him. The comments regarding Bella and I included beliefs that I truly was a wolf preying on an ingenuous young girl, that Bella deserved someone better then a contemptible wolf, that she was beauty personified (one comment I categorically concurred with), and some comments that were not fit for mixed company and those made me growl quietly.

"Edward," Bella whispered into my ear through my wolf head while we danced to a slow song, "Why are you so upset?"

"Upset? I'm not upset, Bella," I reassured her.

"Oh, so you're growling at nothing?" She asked.

"Bella, I'm not . . ." I planned to state that I wasn't upset about anything, but she interrupted me.

"Edward Cullen, don't lie to me. Besides, I heard the last one. You might be trying to hide your anger, but you're doing a poor job of it, so tell me why you're angry."

"He's walking this way right now," I said so softly only she could her.

She looked around me and saw Jake Beffert walking toward us. His thoughts revealed much more than I wanted to know. He had heard an erroneous version of our date at the drive-in that included Bella and I alone in the car's back seat and doing more than innocently making-out. He had the imprudent idea that Bella would consider going out with him, and then his thoughts took a turn that affronted my rather prudent ideas of how someone should treat a lady.

"Oh no," Bella moaned softly, "I thought he'd leave me alone after Emmett's warning." He had been the one in the school hall who had invited Bella for a ride on his motorcycle.

"He heard about our 'escapade' at the drive-in, but the story he was told held no truth to what really happened," I whispered in her ear.

I heard Bella groan softly, "That's all I need. Edward, don't leave me, please," I could hear the fear in her voice.

"Not likely to happen with him around," my voice was still just audible to her. I could hear his footsteps and knew he was almost behind me just before he tapped on my shoulder.

"How about sharing Cullen," he said expecting me to relinquish her to him.

I knew it was extremely clichéd, but I couldn't help saying, "Not over my dead body," and if he had known how true those words were, he would have run for his own life. It's not really my fault if some people have to learn the hard way, but Jake was definitely one who did learn the hard way that evening.

"Is everything okay, little brother?" Emmett asked as he danced Rose over toward us.

"Fine Emmett, Jake was just leaving," I replied, but for vampire hearing only, I said, "He's under the impression that Bella is 'fast' because of rumors flying around about Friday night."

Just as inaudible to human hearing, he replied, "I warned you." Then he stopped dancing with Rose and asked, "Mind if I have the next dance with Bella?"

Bella smiled at Emmett and warned, "I'll step on your feet and trip over mine. Think you can handle that?" To which Emmett just laughed and scooped her up in his arms and planted her tiny feet on his substantial ones causing Bella to giggle in the process.

I turned to Rose and held my hand out to her before Jake could step in causing him to snarl under his breath about all the Cullens thinking they were better than he was. He was right to some extent, we were better in that we did not prey on the weak and innocent, at least not intentionally. Of course, my first few months with Bella were an exception, to which I had discovered she had willingly allowed me to prey upon her even down to the way she exposed the back of her neck, but still, I never preyed on her the way he was thinking about preying on her. How I had not seen Bella's willingness to share her blood with me was a surprise. Had I been so intent on her blood that I missed the obvious? I asked myself that question frequently as I watched Bella sleep because now I could note all the differences between her sleeping state and waking state. I usually came back to the answer of 'blood lust,' I so lusted after her blood that I never really took time to look at her because if I had, I might have realized that my desire for her ran deeper than her blood.

I spent the rest of the evening assiduously focused on Bella and on Jake who fumed in the corner of the gym. I refused to share Bella with anyone but Jasper and Emmett. As I watched her dance with my brothers, I noticed a friendly openness in their relationships. While dancing with Jasper, they talked about the merits of the books the teachers required the students to read in English class and discussed their favorite classics while also arguing about which ones were really better. When she danced with Emmett, an easy playfulness occurred between them. Emmett would joke with her about our relationship and make her blush with some overly bold questions, and then she would joke with him about his relationship with Rose or his recent betting loses with Jasper.

Emmett thrived on betting; when you live as long as we do, you have to fill your spare time with other outlets rather than just bedroom time. Emmett discovered early on that he enjoyed betting, and not all his bets dealt with money. That evening, he wanted to bet Bella that she couldn't flirt with another boy with enough honest effort to make me jealous. I glared at Emmett hoping that Bella wouldn't take him up on the bet and then heard Bella's musical laugh float across the gym floor.

Emmett promptly asked her what she was laughing about, and Bella replied, "It will never work, Emmett. I couldn't win that bet even if I tried."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Emmett retorted teasingly, "No one flirts as poorly as you."

"It's not my flirting skills that are in question, Emmett, it's the fact that Edward already knows about the bet," then she looked straight at me and gave a little wave before giggling into Emmett's chest as she leaned into him.

"Oh, yeah . . . he heard everything I said . . . well, it was only a joke, I never meant you to take me seriously," I could tell Emmett was back peddling so he wouldn't get in trouble for making such an outlandish bet.

I saw Bella's shoulders still shaking as she looked up at him and said, "Some big brother you are, you're trying to get me in trouble with my boyfriend."

"Hey, I never promised to be the perfect 'big brother.' I have too much fun teasing you," he laughed in reply.

"Okay then, I have a bet for you." She took a small step away from him as they continued to dance so she could look up into his eyes.

I watched as her smile grew broader, and I had a feeling she was going to come up with a unique challenge for Emmett.

She went from giggling to serious in one second flat, and then said, "I bet that you can't go an entire month without teasing me or trying to make me blush."

"Oh, that's too easy," Emmett snorted.

"The stipulation is that you have to be around me as much as possible. You cannot hide from me, and you must always be present when I come to visit, and you have to walk with me between classes and sit with me at lunch," she smirked at him.

I saw him wince just slightly before replying, "What do I get if I win?"

"You can ask me for anything you want for Christmas that is in my power legally to acquire for you, and if I win you will do the same thing for me."

Emmett smirked as he was already planning what he wanted, which ranged from her kissing him like she kissed me, but dropped the idea as it dawned on him it would feel just like his sister kissing him, to asking Bella to wear a two piece suit while she was at our house. The second was so he could watch her blush while it also would make me extremely uncomfortable. Emmett then leaned over and whispered in her ear, "You've got yourself a bet."

To which Bella promptly replied in a whisper, "Good, it starts right now."

I couldn't help but chuckle at their conversation, and as a result, Rose asked, "What's so funny?"

"Bella just made a bet with Emmett," I replied.

Rose shook her head as she said, "What is the bet this time?" She was worried it would involve her in some way.

"Don't worry; it's not like the last task Bella set for Emmett. This time she bet that he couldn't go for a month without teasing her or attempting to make her blush."

"He just lost," Rose stated emphatically.

Just then, Alice and Jasper danced over toward us. Alice smirked and was already chanting internally in a sing-songy voice, 'He lost, he lost . . . Bella is the winner . . .'

As she came close enough, I asked, "How do you know?"

"I saw it while they were talking. You missed it because you were too busy listening to them."

"Do you know what she is going to ask for?" Rose had to satiate her curiosity.

"I don't think . . ." Alice stopped suddenly as another vision engulfed her.

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**To those of you who have taken the time to review I send a great big 'Thank You,' even though there aren't very many reviews, I will post at least this one chapter before the end of the year, but be aware that this will be the last chapter that I post this year. The next one will take a while because of an upcoming convalescent period.**

12/12/08 – 10:18 pm (den) finished

12/15/08 – 10:55 pm edited (laptop)

12/28/08 – Revised with beta edits & ANs added

12/29/08 – Posted

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	24. Chapter 24 Emmett's Dilemma

_**AN: To everyone who has patiently waited for this chapter, a huge thank you. Things in my life are finally becoming somewhat better, and I can sit at my computer longer than I could a few weeks age. Also, a huge thank you to Edward who was willing to wait for my recovery, and to Emmett who offered to make the surgery unnecessary. An even huger thank you goes to my beta readers, Lexi and Rikki, who do such a marvelous job of proofing the chapters.**_

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**Journal Entry Seventeen – Emmett's Dilemma – [1958]**

Alice stood rooted to the ground, the only difference between her and a statue at that moment were her eye movements, but her mind raced as the vision seared through her, and I vividly experienced every moment of it.

Jake waited in the parking lot for us to leave the dance; in his hands he held a baseball bat in the pose of one ready to swing at an oncoming ball except the ball he focused on was my head. Not knowing that the hit would cause me no damage, he swung with all his might shattering the bat into a number of small and larger piece; unfortunately, two of those pieces hit Bella. One pierced her check and the other larger on connected with her head causing her to collapse. Since Alice's visions carried no sounds, it was my guess that Bella has fallen unconscious to the ground.

Instinctively, I rushed over to Bella's side and moved her from Emmett's arms into mine protectively.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Emmett asked as he stared at me.

"Jake," I hissed under my breath.

Alice, Jasper, and Rose joined us, and Alice quickly detailed the vision for the others, but low enough so Bella wouldn't hear.

"Edward, I you may not want me to hear, but you have to tell me what's wrong," Bella's voice was calm, but looking into her deep brown eyes I saw her suppressed fear. Then, she added as we gazed at each other, "Don't you dare tell me it is nothing because your eyes tell a different story. Besides, Alice wouldn't be speaking so quickly and softly unless she didn't want me to hear."

Emmett looked over with a slight smirk, "She figured that out with in the first two months of her relationship with Alice. She is quick to learn and extremely observant Edward, so be careful, she'll see things you don't want her to see."

"So I'm noticing," I replied, and because of what I was noticing, I took Bella's hand and said, "Dance with me," and it was not a question.

Bella followed me as I led her to the middle of the dance floor, took her in my arms, and began to slowly dance with her. The best thing about Bella having me for a dance partner was the fact that if she stepped on my feet, it didn't matter, and if she stumbled, I continued to hold her upright.

"Bella," I leaned down and softly whispered in her ear, "Alice just saw Jake waiting in the parking lot with the intent to attack me." I felt her shake slightly as I held her. "Please don't worry. When we go out, Emmett and Jasper will come up behind him and make sure he doesn't hurt you."

"What about you?" She asked with a tremor, and I chuckled softly at her comment.

"Bella, your concern is touching, but I have nothing to fear for myself. Even if he hit me, it wouldn't hurt me, but I will not allow him to harm you in any way," I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms slightly tighter around her. "I love you Bella, and I will always be here to protect you."

"Promise," she mumbled into my chest causing slight vibrations to quiver up and down my chest.

"I promise," I reassured her softly as I kissed the top of her head.

Jake was to have a long wait out in the cold parking lot because Alice forced us to stay until after the awards were handed out. Bella, not surprisingly with all the males present to vote, won for the best female costume, and Emmett won for the best male costume – also not a surprise due to all the comments I overheard all night long about the appropriateness of his costume to his build and his growl. The best couples costume was the reason why Alice insisted we stay because she and Jasper won; it didn't hurt that she used that silly stewardess crook to hook Jasper around the neck and pull him back to her if he wondered too far off. She did at least allow him to leave her side when he danced with Bella or Rose, but she did not allow him close to any other females.

We walked out of the building at quarter to twelve knowing I would have enough time to deliver Bella safely at her doorstep before her curfew. I had a feeling her dad would be watching both the clock and the front door despite what Bella's mother might say about his overly protective surveillance.

As preplanned, Emmett and Jasper circled around behind the area they already knew Jake would be waiting while the girls and I took the more direct path toward my car. It was not hard to pick out Jake's hiding spot; not only could I hear his thoughts, but I could also hear his breathing and accelerated heart rate. His chattering teeth tipped me off that his body temperature had dropped while he had waited outside for me. The fact that he had no concern for the harm he might cause Bella infuriated me. In fact, his overall thoughts about what he would do to Bella once he conveyed her to an isolated spot he had picked out incensed me. I had a feeling that Emmett and Jasper were better to handle him than me only because if I seized him I would kill him.

I heard the scuffle before he actually arrived at the planned ambush point; I'm not sure what Bella heard, but she never said anything; instead, she calmly continued on her way to the car. She never stopped walking, and she never turned and looked; she just kept her eyes focus ahead of her. My heart soared with pride that she could accept the fact that she was safe without looking to see what had occurred between my brothers and Jake.

We were only about ten steps away from the car when Emmett appeared with a wide grin at the passenger's door and opened it for her, and I was right beside her when it happened. It was a typical Bella moment; she had only six more steps before she reached the car when she tripped. I felt empathy for her because she had done such a marvelous job of carrying herself upright despite who she knew had been hiding and waiting for us so he could cause me harm, and then she has an awkward moment of tripping over something invisible even to me in the parking lot.

In typical Emmett form, he chuckled as he caught her and blurted out, "We risked life and limb to save you Bella, only to have you . . ."

"Emmett," Rose swiftly interceded, "If you continue you will lose your bet before the night is over."

In the same instant as Rose, and because I knew what was coming, I also cut him off by saying, "Emmett, do you want to lose the bet on the first night?" As we both chastised him, he released Bella and quickly covered his mouth with both his hands. He didn't have to say anything else because we all knew he was going to tease Bella. He was right of course, not about them risking life and limb, but about her jeopardizing her safety by tripping over 'thin air.' Now, I realize the truth of his statement, but I was glad Rose and I both spoke up because I truly wanted to see Emmett squirm for a while because from this point on, until his month was over, he would have to think before he spoke – something Emmett seldom did for he generally said exactly what he thought. I briefly turned to Rose, smiled, and mouth 'thank you,' to which she just chuckled softly.

No one spoke about Jake on the drive to Bella's house, least of all Bella, but both Emmett and Jasper replayed the events in their minds so I could see what had occurred. As planned, both of them came up behind Jake who was so focused on Bella and I walking into his ambush that he didn't hear either of my brothers approaching. Emmett growled and bared his teeth, according to a silent message Jasper sent along with his visual, before laying his hand on the bat that Jake held. Emmett pulled the bat away from him and promptly broke it in half with his bare hands. The look on Jake's face revealed his fear, panic, and anger all at once, but he said nothing for Emmett told him what would happen if he ever approached his little brother or his adopted little sister ever again. I did catch a quick glimpse of that speech from Jake's mind as I had walked Bella to the car, and it was Emmett he focused on because Emmett in his bear costume had been more intimidating then Jasper in his fluffy lamb costume. I also sensed that Jake would steer clear of my family for a few days at least, and for that I was grateful.

Bella had remained silent about the possible encounter until I walked her up to her front door. She paused briefly, twisted the toe of her shoe on the side walk and demurely said, "Edward, I don't want to know what happened to him. Not knowing is better, I think, but promise you will come to my room tonight just in case I have nightmares about what might have happened."

I leaned down and whispered in her ear softly, "It's a date," and she laughed softly in reply. I had been correct about Bella's father earlier because as we had driven up to the curb in front of her house, I noticed the porch light on, and as we walked toward the house, I heard him muttering just behind the front door. "Only two minutes left, he had better not kiss her at the door step, he doesn't have time."

As we reached the front door, I leaned down and whispered to Bella, "Your father doesn't think I have time to kiss you," then I turned her to face me, quickly wrapped my arms around her, and held her close as I kissed her. As I released her, I softly said, "I won't say good night because I'll be back in ten minutes." With that, I rushed back to the car and beat my own record back home. I took enough time to change, and then fly – figuratively – down the stairs, out the door, and to Bella's house.

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The next month proved rather interesting with Emmett trying to avoid teasing Bella, and Bella – well, most of the time she was just Bella and she couldn't help some of the little mishaps that she had in front of Emmett. Emmett and Bella's bet was not the only one occurring at that time; Alice had a calendar and took bets from the rest of the family as to when Emmett would lose. No one in the family believed he would win; we all believed it was only a matter of time – even Carlisle and Esme placed their bets. Alice was the only family member not allowed to participate, and she was not allowed to give anything away to any other family member as to when or if Emmett would lose, although we had heard her comment at the dance about Emmett losing. The 'Emmett Pot,' as we had dubbed it, had risen considerably in the first two weeks. It had surprised all of us that Emmett had lasted that long so when bet dates arrived and passed, we would all put down another bet. Even I had placed my second bet, but Alice warned me not to influence the outcome of the bet just as she had warned Jasper during the second week of the betting. I can admit I had thought about asking Bella to reenact our a little necking scene from the drive-in in front of Emmett, but Alice had quickly seen my plan and nixed it.

The end of the second week provided the best entertainment but not because of anything Jasper or I had cooked up. No, this entertainment had been all Bella's idea and even Alice had played a small role in setting up the incident to contribute to the family's enjoyment at Emmett's expense. It occurred the night of an 'Alice arranged' sleep over – all done for my benefit of course because my family was tired of my constant nightly vigils at Bella's house. I had arranged for Bella and I to have an impromptu dinner date in the dining room and Alice, in her inimitable comportment, had demanded the privilege of dressing Bella appropriately for said date. Of course, Alice's idea of appropriate does not always coincide with Bella's idea of appropriate, but this time Bella did not argue and she complied with Alice's request.

The end result was an angel walking down the double wide staircase dressed in a shimmery blue dinner gown, her dark brown tresses artistically wrapped on top of her head with little ringlets hanging down – something only Alice could have achieved, and high heel shoes, which caused me to panic as I watched her begin her descent down the stairs. I stayed stationary at the bottom of the staircase as a precautionary measure, but I did notice she was descending slowly. It was at the halfway point that Alice mentally shouted, 'Catch her!' that I reacted by darting up toward Bella as she began to plunge down the stairs.

As she fell into my arms, she shyly said, "My heel broke."

"We'll take them off," I replied as I scooped her up in my arms and finished carrying her down the stairs.

The entire family had seen the entire event, but Emmett was the center of focus rather than Bella because he was laughing so hard. I fiercely glared at him for his rudeness and as he saw me he blurted out, "If you wanted him to carry you down the steps, Bella . . .," but he never finished because Rose promptly slapped him across the back of the head. "What was that for?" He growled as he turned to Rose.

"If you lose now, I won't win the bet," she growled back.

"Oh," was his only reply to her. Then he turned his gaze back to Bella; "Hell's bells girl, are you trying to kill me," Emmett groaned.

"Whatever do you mean," she replied with a slight smile that danced across her sweet lips, while her eyelids were at half-mast and her head was leaning against my shoulder.

"Bella," Emmett growled, "You know exactly what I mean, and if you don't stop taunting me . . ." he paused as he heard Bella softly laughing, "You are so cruel Bella, you're killing me you know with your constant bad luck," Emmett concluded in a huff.

"It's rather hard to kill that which is, so to speak, already dead," Bella retorted causing Jasper to chortle and Alice to giggle. I even noticed Rose valiantly trying to smother a smirk.

"If you don't mind," I addressed my family, "I'm taking my girlfriend to dinner," and with Bella still in my arms, I turned and walked toward the dining room. It wasn't until after I put Bella to bed that Alice admitted to me that the episode on the stairs was pre-staged, and both she and Bella knew no harm would come to her because Alice would warn me ahead of time of her fall. What I never figured out was how Alice managed to arrange for that heel to break at just the right moment, and she never shared that piece of information with me; however, Alice did tell me that Bella sought her help because she really wanted to win the bet as she had decided on what she wanted Emmett to give her as a prize. When Alice asked what Bella wanted, she informed me that Bella would not even tell her what the request was just in case she let it slip and I found out about it.

I did ask Bella a number of times to share her desired prize if she won the bet, but Bella would only reply that it was a secret. I toyed with the idea that she was requesting something for me as a surprise, or she wanted something that I might object to, but no matter what she asked for I was going to wait to discover it, like everyone else, until Bella won the bet.

Toward the end of the third week, I realized Emmett was proving stronger than any of us had considered possible because he put forth a valiant effort not to taunt, tease, or humiliate Bella, but if he won, then Alice, for the first time since I had met her, would have been wrong about what she had seen.

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving and I was determined to spend as much time with Bella as possible that weekend because Bella had informed me her parents were taking her to relatives for the holiday. She hated the fact that we would be separated even though Alice repeatedly assured her that she would be safe and not have any nightmares – at least her fear no longer revolved around Jake. During the first week after the dance, Bella had dreaded a repeat meeting with Jake, but he had skipped school most of that first week, for which Bella was gratefully thankful. Then Alice saw a vision of him and a few of his hoodlum friends trying to hold-up a gas station, so Alice turned in an anonymous tip to the police about an over heard conversation causing the police to have a car to be near the station, but out of sight, so when Jake arrived with his friends arrived, they were caught in the middle of trying to rob the station. Consequently, Jake was sent to prison for armed robbery, and since he had been of legal age, he was sentenced as an adult. When news of his arrest spread through the school the next day, my siblings and I all registered as much shock as possible so Bella would not discover that Alice had turned him in. I don't think that fact would have mattered much to Bella, but I still thought it would be better if Bella didn't discover Alice's roll in the arrest.

Because of Bella's extended Thanksgiving trip, I had to take advantage of every moment I could spend with her. Her dad planned to leave early Wednesday and not return until Sunday sometime, and I believed he planned it that way with the intent to keep us apart as long as possible. While I dreaded the separation, Emmett looked forward to it – in his mind it meant the bet would be over when she returned and he would win. Alice remained mute on the subject, but every so often, I caught a sly little smile cross her lips.


	25. Chapter 25 Bella's Gift

_**AN: I wish to thank everyone for your patience while I worked through my recovery, I still have some swelling and water retention issues, but now that school is out for the summer, I have more time to work on my stories. I also wish to thank my group of Collins and Bella for their patience as well. There story is more or less fully developed, but they have kindly waited until I was ready again to spend more time with this story before they began to bombard me with dialogue and story events. I also wish to thank again all of you who kindly left reviews. As you will have noted, I do reply to the reviews.**_

_**As always, the characters as presented by Stephenie Meyer belong to her, the idea of this story is ours and so are the events. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.**_

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**Journal Entry Eighteen – Bella's Gift – [1958]**

Alice arranged with Bella's mother for an extended weekend sleepover beginning Friday after school. According to Alice, she would take Bella shopping, and then they would spend most of Saturday in Seattle and spend Sunday coordinating Bella's new clothes while discussing ways for Bella to style her hair with each outfit.

Bella's mother heartily approved of Alice's plan because she was constantly bemoaning Bella's lack of fashion sense, and since Alice had befriended Bella, her mother had noticed an improvement in the way Bella dressed, and even secretly praised Alice for helping Bella find new and flattering ways to style her hair. Bella's father only grudgingly approved of the sleep over because Alice informed him that her brothers had planned a camping trip for the entire weekend. What Alice hadn't truthfully revealed to Bella's parents was the fact that she had already purchased the clothes that Bella would bring home on Sunday evening from her imaginary trip to Seattle. Alice planned it all so Bella and I could spend the entire weekend together to make up for the five days her father would keep her from my side.

I looked forward to our extended time together all week, which may seem ridiculous since I saw Bella at school every day, but we only meet at lunch and between classes, then we spent some time together after school, and finally, I spent the night in her room. This, however, would be complete uninterrupted time and I would not have to sneak into her bedroom to be with her, or go home in order to appease her father.

Friday evening, Bella and I spent watching television with the family until ten at which time everyone decided they had other activities to attend to, and this gave me the opportunity to take Bella up to my room. One quality about Bella that fascinated me was her ability to carry on an intelligent conversation even if the topic was one she was unfamiliar with; she still listened attentively and asked pertinent questions. She was a person who loved to learn and I had yet to find a topic that bored her. Later that evening, we laid snuggled together on my bed, and we talked late into the night about my two college experiences in medical school neither of which did I complete; Carlisle may have developed a tolerance to the smell of blood over the years of being a vampire, but I was still working on mine.

Bella asked a multitude of questions about the classes I took, what I learned, and how long I stayed at each college I attended. I was almost at a point of suggesting she go to sleep, when I noticed she was dozing off as I spoke, so I lowered my voice and continued to talk. When I stopped speaking, she asked in a soft half-asleep tone, "Edward, talk about us."

"I'm not sure what you mean Bella." Besides the fact that we loved each other and had one common desire of staying together, I wasn't sure what more she wanted.

In a gentle soft murmur, she replied, "Edward, tell me about our future."

She seemed nearly asleep so I wasn't positive if she was talking in her sleep, but her request intrigued me and I complied.

"We'll be the most envied couple in high school. Complete devoted to one another. This spring we will attend the junior prom together, and next year we'll arrange our schedules so we can take classes together. I even want to share gym with you," a slight smile crossed her lips at that confession. "After you graduate, we'll discuss college . . ."

Bella snuggled closer to me wrapping her arms around my neck as she did so, and murmured, "Change first."

Instead of correcting or confirming her comment, I just continued, "I thought we could attend college together; I won't start until after you graduate. Maybe we can marry first, then we can be roommates and I won't have to share you with anyone," as if I would allow anyone else near her without ripping out their throats. It was amazing how protective I had become and not just because her blood sang my song but because her entire being sang to me. No other person in the world would ever mean to me what Bella meant – since that night in the closet, she had become my entire world, and nothing mattered to me except her. Emmett once told me, when I found my perfect match, I would never feel the same again. I thought he was just stringing me along because of how he felt about Rose, but I had to acknowledge the fact that Emmett knew what he was talking about when he made that comment.

As Bella lay in my arms and drifted serenely off to sleep, I began to wonder how I could tell Bella she was the perfect angel in my life, how to share with her my inner most feeling about her, and how to demonstrate to her the abundance of love that I felt for her. I wanted, more than anything else, to show her how much I really loved her, but buying her something felt cheap and impersonal. I wanted something special, unique like her, and a complete surprise – something she would never expect. My biggest problem was my sister and brothers knew her better than I did; they had spent an entire year becoming acquainted while I skulked in the shadows. She did enjoy my birthday present, although it took a while to find a signed first edition of "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austin, but she declared I spent too much and mustn't do it again. So, whatever I do it must be inexpensive but expressive of how I felt.

Then I remembered an off-handed comment Emmett once made about her, 'She is a strange little thing. She smiles at the simple things in life. It seems the simple things in life touch her more than the expensive glamorous things. She's an easy person to find a gift for because it doesn't have to extravagant to please her. Once I gave her a simple bouquet of wild flowers, and it brought the gayest smile to her lips.'

That was when I knew what I wanted to share with her. She was not much of a morning person, but I loved the way she moaned in the morning when I would try to wake her up early, and the kisses we would share that early were some of the best – maybe because she allowed more of her passion to seep through. Not that she couldn't kiss with passion at other times, but morning kisses seemed different, sweeter, more equally giving without the undertone of her feeling unworthy to be on the receiving end. She seemed less inhibited by what she considered her inferiority.

Bella began to squirm in my arms as I made my plans for her early morning surprise. "Edward, you wouldn't do that, would you?" She muttered in her sleep.

At first, I thought her comment was in reference to my plans, almost as if she was reading my thoughts in her dream, but then I realized the impossibility of that concept.

"Do what Bella?" I whispered softly in her ear to see what she would reply.

"I don't like getting wet," she mumbled back crossly.

What would I do in a dream to get her wet? I wondered. "How Bella, how could I get you wet?" I whispered.

"If you do that Edward Cullen, I will never speak to you again!" Came her agitated reply.

"Do what Bella?" Now she had my complete attention.

Bella pulled herself from my arms, sat straight up in bed, and yelled, "Emmett!"

It took less than two seconds for Emmett to charge through the door – almost literally; I figured I would have to check for damage to the door in the light of day, and as much force as he used, I was surprised he didn't make more noise, which might have unintentionally woke Bella up.

"What have you done?" He accused me growlingly as he swiftly reached Bella's side of the bed. "Are you okay Bella?" His tone softened as he spoke to her and sat down beside her.

"She's sleeping Emmett," I replied under my breath so as not to wake Bella.

"Bella, are you okay?" He glared at me as he softened his voice, but I watched as his eyes took in her form and face. In a tone so soft even a waking Bella would not have hear him, he said, "She is asleep."

Still sitting straight up, Bella said, "Don't let him hit me."

We both watched as Bella raised her arms to protect herself as if someone or something was about to hit her. "Who is going to hit you Bella?" Emmett asked dulcetly.

Bella swiftly lowered on arm and grabbed Emmett's arm. "Don't let him throw that. I don't like getting wet, and stop laughing at me, it isn't funny."

We both stared at her wondering what to say next when suddenly she laid back down as she said, "I don't want to play anymore," and instantly fell into a deeper sleep as evidenced by the change in her breathing.

"Was that the floor show?" Emmett asked in a hushed whisper.

I just nodded in response.

"She sure knows how to keep one on his toes, doesn't she? I wonder who was going to throw what at her."

I decided not to mention my name was the first words out of her mouth, or that I suspected I was the one guilty of wanting to throw something at her, so instead, I said, "I guess we'll never know."

"We would if you could read her thoughts, but that's another story all together. If she ever finishes that dream, tell me about it," Emmett said as he got up and left as quickly as he had appeared, but this time he closed the door softly behind him, which left me with the impression that the door might not have sustained damaged after all.

Shortly after Emmett left, Bella reached out searchingly in her sleep until she found me, then she sidled up beside me, ran her hand caressingly down my check until it came to rest on my chest, and buried her face into my chest and took in a deep breath before releasing a soft, "Mmmmm."

Emmett had been right about one thing, Bella did keep me on my toes, but not necessarily because of her sleep talking. It was more of the caresses, touches, and closeness that occurred at night that kept me vigilant of my own feelings and reactions. In fact, there were a few times when it felt as if my toes actually curled in delight at her touch and scent – if that was a possibility for vampires. Since I had no previous experience with love or desires of this nature, I was not sure what was or was not possible.

As Bella finally settled back into her sleep, I began planning for our early morning trip. It didn't take Alice but five seconds after I began to make plans to show up at the door. At least she opened the door quietly and only stuck her head in to say, "7:24 am but bundle her up well because it will be extremely cold that early." Just as she turned to leave, she paused and added, "And Edward, she will love it even though it will be so early. You chose a very pleasing gift." Then she silently shut the door behind her.

With Alice gone and Bella finally settled into a deep sleep, I had hours to fill before it would be time to wake Bella for her surprise. I loved lying beside Bella at night, but the seconds trickled by slowly for me. It left me with too much time to fill, and although daydreaming about our future together was pleasurable, it still only filled a small fraction of the time before morning. Of late, I had begun to memorize the surface of Bella's bared skin. I knew very early in our relationship that Bella was accident prone, but the first time I skimmed my hand over any bare visible skin, I discovered just how accident-prone she had been. The sensitivity of my feel allowed me to distinguish every infinitesimal scar that covered her arms, which was the first bare skin my touch examined, but I considered none of them insignificant. I began to realize that each mark told a story about Bella's life, I just had to ask her about them to discover the stories behind each except that Bella didn't readily open up about her mishaps, almost as if she were ashamed of having so many scars.

One of the most interesting ones, I found near her wrist. It was half moon shaped with a thin curved line completing about one quarter of the missing moon. Its shape was so curious that I couldn't help but ask her about it. At first, she ignored my inquiries but persistence, and a number of strategically placed kisses – her neck was one of her most sensitive areas at that time – finally loosened her tongue. That particular scar, it seems, was the result of a toddler accident. When she was about two years old, she had picked up a glass at her grandmother's house with the intent of giving it to her mom, but in the process, she tripped and fell on the glass. As her mother told her the story, she hadn't even known Bella had been hurt because of the long sleeves on the outfit she had been wearing. It wasn't until she was feeding Bella lunch that she noticed blood seeping through the sleeve and running down Bella's wrist and onto her hand. Bella's mother instantly whisked her off to the emergency room where they used butterfly stitches, which accounted for the unusual shape of the scar.

This particular evening, Bella had worn a new pair of pajamas Alice had purchased for her. Generally, Bella wore long gowns to bed, but Alice had found her a pair with a short top that just reached the waist of the pants that cover her legs. As I lay with her wrapped in my arms, I realized her squirming had caused the top to ride up her back slightly exposing unexplored bare skin to my touch. It didn't surprise me that I found so many scars on Bella's arms, most unnoticeable to the human eyes or touch, but the ones I discovered on her back surprised me.

As the night wore on, I discovered 43 distinct and separate scars, some only a quarter of an inch long, but others revealed more serious injuries. One in particular almost caused me to wake Bella. It was lower on her back and slightly round – about two inches in diameter – and the center was rough to my touch. It hadn't been a smoothly stitched wound and something about its feel aroused my interest in its cause; however, I knew better than to wake Bella only to quiz her about a scar she probably never deemed noteworthy. For my part, I realized it would be more advantageous to wait until morning to ask casually about the scar.

Examining the silky but marred skin of Bella's back helped pass the rest of the night. As seven o'clock neared, I gently began to kiss Bella's neck, ears, and chin as I worked toward her mouth. During our second week of dating, I discovered that Bella could easily out grump a grizzly bear if rudely awakened in the morning. Through subtle experimentation, I discovered that gentle kisses would wake her up in a much better mood than gently shaking her awake.

Her first response to my lips on her neck was a deep moan and an arching of her body into mine, and then she let out a deep sigh as I moved along her neck. By the time I reached her earlobe, she softly murmured, "It had better be midmorning or you have a lot of explaining to do."

Since I was at her ear, I whispered ever so softly, "I have a surprise for you." I licked her earlobe before adding, "It's a gift I want to give you," to which a moan of displeasure escaped her lips. To reassure her, I added, "I didn't buy this gift. All it will cost is you getting dressed and the two of us taking a short little trip."

Bella pulled away from me slightly while groaning, "What time is it?"

"Not quit seven."

"In the morning," she moaned sleepily.

"Yes, if we wait too long, you will miss out on this particular surprise. We need to leave very soon to reach the right spot in time." I was still planting kisses down her jaw line, even though she had pulled away slightly, I had pulled her back so I could continue kissing her awake.

"Okay, okay, but if you really want me up and dressed you had better stop kissing me or I will just stay like this so I can discover where your lips will wander next." Her words were deep and breathless.

I released her from my hold and move away from her with a soft chuckle, as I said, "Dress warm Bella, it is cold where we are going."

"Colder than here?" She asked sleepily.

"Yes," I replied as I gave her a little push, and that got her started.

"Hey, I'm going," she groaned as she scooted to the edge of the bed.

I couldn't help chuckling as I watched her shuffle toward the bathroom. Generally if I woke her up earlier than she liked, she would make her disgruntlement known by shaming the bathroom door, but this morning she must have still been half asleep because the door closed quietly. It even took her longer than usual to turn on the bathroom light, but when she did she said, "Snow pants Edward? Where exactly are we going?"

Even though I heard her without her raising her voice, I hastily made my way to the door so she could hear my reply. "Alice laid those out two hours ago and said they would be just what you needed. I didn't really pay attention to what she brought in because I was preoccupied with someone snuggling lovingly in my arms."

I heard Bella's soft laugh in response to my comment, and then she quietly moved around doing whatever she needed to get ready. For privacy's sake, I moved away from the door and settled in the oversized chair that was in one corner of my room. Bella referred to it as the make-out chair because we would both sit in it while listening to music, and generally that would lead to kissing and cuddling, and some mild but safe making out. Emmett would have referred to it as 'kiddy car' antics, since our actions were always decorous.

A soft click of the door indicated Bella was ready, so I picked up a small bag that Alice had also left in the room and prepared to inform Bella of our mode of transportation.

She emerged from the bathroom wearing the aforementioned snow pants, snow boots, and a ski jacket I had once seen Esme wearing on a family ski trip. "You'll need to put up the hood of that jacket, and if there are gloves in the pocket, I suggest you put them on."

Bella gave me a quizzical look that I saw even in the darkened room before asking, "Just where are we going Edward?"

"Up to the mountains," I replied walking toward her.

"And how are we going to get there?" She continued.

I knew this was going to be the hard answer for her to accept, but in order for us to reach our destination before 7:24, I would have to run with her, something she had not experienced yet.

"Climb on my back Bella, I'm going to carry you," I said it softly and calmly enough so as not to scare her.

Her response was to step back from me as she replied, "I don't think I like this idea."

"Why not Bella? I won't let you fall, and I definitely won't let anything hurt you; besides, it will be the fastest way for us to travel."

Bella made no move, nor any reply to my comment, so I coaxed her, "Please Bella, do this for me," I put as much plea in my voice as possible so it wouldn't sound like a demand but a heartfelt request, and it worked because she took a tentative step toward me.

"I don't like this idea, but you know I'd do anything you asked. I'm going to trust you Edward, and I hope this will be worth the effort," she replied as she took another tentative step toward me.

I smiled as I turned around so she could climb on my back. As she did, she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck, and then I said, "You might want to close your eyes Bella because I going to jump down from the window."

"I think I will, and I will leave them closed until we get there," she replied.

I could not see if she followed her own suggestions, but I picked up the bag, placed my free hand on her arms that she had wrapped around my neck, and began our journey up to Mount Rainier. I knew I had to cover the miles quickly, but I also didn't want to scare her with too much speed. I also wanted to reach a spot that would give me time to make Bella comfortable.

As I raced through the early morning streets, I avoided those that might have early morning traffic. As soon as we were out of the city limits, I picked up more speed and stayed off the roads completely. I kept my focus on the mountains and the trees as they flashed by. Sometimes I picked up speed, and if Bella's heart sped up, I would slow down slightly. I did make good time because I covered 58 plus miles in just under thirteen minutes, which left us eleven minutes to settle down. As I came around the north side of the mountain, I kept watch for a place on the east side that had a clear view of the horizon and didn't have too much snow. When I finally stopped, I heard Bella take a deep breath, which she then released slowly.

"You can let go now Bella," I said after stopping, but I felt no relaxing of her grip around my neck or waist. "Bella, take a few more deep breaths, and then slowly relax your grip."

I felt her lips graze my neck as she moved her head slightly before she said, "I'm trying." Then she took a few deep breaths and released each one slowly.

After dropping the bag, I put both my hands on hers and began to massage her fingers gently hoping that might help some.

"Edward," she began slowly, "Is this a safe place?"

"Bella, I wouldn't intentionally bring you anywhere that wasn't. Why do you ask?"

"It's so cold," she replied as I heard her teeth chatter for the first time.

I knew I needed to wrap her in whatever Alice had put in the bag, so I gently began to pry her fingers loose with one hand, while I unhooked her ankles to unwrap her legs from around my waist. "As soon as you are down, I will help you get warmer. In fact, Alice sent some things along that will warm you up."

Her teeth chattered again as she asked, "What did Alice send?"

I laughed as I replied, "I won't know until I can open the bag, and I can't do that with your arms still wrapped around my neck." With that, I felt her fingers finally release their grip and she slowly slid off my back. As soon as her feet where on the ground, I quickly turned toward her to make sure she was steady on her feet, and I was glad I did because she wobbled and I was able to help steady her. With that completed, I opened the bag and found a thick sleeping bag and a thermos. I helped Bella into the bag, and then I sat on the ground moving her along with me so she settled into my lap. Then I opened the thermos, poured some of its steaming content into the cup lid, and handed it to Bella.

Bella wrapped her fingers around the cup, held it under her nose, and then said, "Alice is a saint," before taking a small sip of the contents. Then she added, "She knows I love chocolate."

I chuckled at the comment as she continued, "So, can you tell me what the surprise is, or did you bring me here just to experience the early morning cold?"

I quickly looked at my watch before replying, "The show will begin in a few minutes; all you have to do is to watch the horizon."

Bella took one more sip from the cup, wriggled a little to make herself more comfortable on my lap, and then waited quietly.

When the sun finally began to rise, I heard a sharp intake of breath as Bella exclaimed, "It's beautiful Edward," and then she leaned back into me and slowly sipped her hot chocolate.

At first, the sun bathed the sky in mellow reds, and as it climbed the sky, it turned different shades of pink. She did not speak during the next fifteen minutes as we silently watched the sun's slow ascent.

"Edward," she finally said softly, "Thank you, that was amazing and I'm very happy you woke me this morning so we could share something so beautiful. This is the best gift you could have given me."

I chuckled softly in response. "Then I'm forgiven for rousing you from your nice warm bed?"

"Absolutely," she said. Then she asked, "Is there any more hot chocolate?"

I laughed outright and opened the thermos to pour more of the steamy liquid into her cup. She sipped it slowly without saying anything else until she had consumed it all, and then she turned in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck and gently kissed me. "My heartfelt thanks for this gift. You have definitely outdone yourself." She then traced my lips with her finger as she continued, "Maybe after you change me, we could do this more often."

Her fingers were teasingly pleasurable on my lips and her comment began a quick vision of us up on the top of the mountain without any fear of cold or harm befalling Bella. "If you continue teasing me, Bella, I might have to change you sooner than expected," I joked.

"I'm willing right now," she replied.

"Bella, you're too young."

"Only a year younger than you were," she replied as she continued to trace my lips.

"Let me rephrase that," I grabbed her finger and kissed it, "You look too young, and I don't want to end up in trouble for marrying a minor."

Bella laughed as she leaned in and kissed me again, and I willing returned her amazing kiss, but I kept in mind that she couldn't stay out in the cold much longer. Once I knew Bella needed to take a break to breath, I pulled away from her slightly and suggested, "We should return home and warm you up properly."

"And what would be 'properly'?" She asked, her eyes closed and a pleased smile playing across her lips.

"You are going to get into a tub of very warm water and stay there until you're warm and pruned, and then when you are done, I'm going to wrap you in warm blankets and we'll sit on the sofa, cuddle, and see what is on the television," I murmured as I leaned in and nuzzled her neck.

"Mmmm, that sounds nice, but what if I want to cuddle with you in your chair, turn on some music, and . . .," she intentionally stopped leaving me to guess how it would end.

"Just what do you have in mind Bella," I whispered into her ear.

"Oh, maybe we could just cuddle, or maybe we could make-out a little, or maybe I could just cuddle and take a nap to make up for the sleep I missed so I could receive your present," she teasingly stated as she allowed me to continue kissing her neck.

It was five more minutes before Bella finally pulled away from me and asked, "Is there any more of that hot chocolate?"

That was when I heard her teeth beginning to chatter and realized we had stayed a bit too long. "Hold your cup out," I said as I grabbed the thermos, took the cap off and poured the remainder of the chocolate into the cup. I noticed it was not steaming as much as when I first opened it, meaning it would not make her as warm as she needed, so as soon as she finished it, I took the cup, replaced it on the top of the thermos, and stood up holding her as I did. "We need to get you home now," I stated as I helped her out of the sleeping bag. I quickly rolled it up and replaced it in the bag along with the empty thermos. "Climb on Bella," I told her as I finished wrapping things up and knelt down for easy access to my back, "We will be home in less than ten minutes, so hold on tight, and close your eyes."

"Yes sir," she replied as she wrapped her arms around my neck, and then, as I stood just a little straighter, she wrapped her legs around my waist.

I planned to go faster this time because her teeth were chattering more, so as soon as she was set I ran watching for any possible dangers to Bella. We were nearly out of the woods when I smelled another human in our near vicinity, so I slowed down slightly to make a detour away from the person. It was as I veered to the east of the person that I heard a shot ring out. I picked up speed realizing I had to remove Bella from a possibly dangerous area with hunters about. We were less than five minutes from home, when the scent of Bella's blood hit me, at the same time I felt Bella's grip loosen from around my waist and neck. Moving quickly, I dropped Alice's bag and twirled around to catch Bella as she slipped off my back. The scent of blood increased as I cradled her in my arms, and without a thought for other concerns, I held Bella tightly to my chest and didn't hold back on my speed as I raced home.

As soon as the house was in sight, I noticed Carlisle standing on the porch waiting for me. Even though I was still some distance from the house, I heard him as he said, "Alice told me as soon as she saw Bella slumped in your arms. Bring her into the office and we'll find out what happened."


	26. Chapter 26 Winning the Bet

_**AN: As always, I created the original characters to Stephenie Meyer, and only take credit, partially, to the story idea. I also thank my beta readers for their help, all the generous readers who have left reviews, and Emmett, Edward, Bella, Alice for their input into this story. I also blame them for the odd direction some of this story went. Once they take control, I loss control - but they do weave a good tale. Thank you all for your support and patience during my surgery and recuperation.**_

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**Journal Entry Nineteen – Winning the Bet – [1958]**

I wasted no time rushing into the house and up to Carlisle's office. I noticed Esme at a small table with a basin of water and a collection of rags. Next to the exam table was Carlisle's black bag. Even though everything seemed prepared, I still worried about Bella's condition. I knew her heartbeat was strong, but she was still unconscious and I was uncertain whether to contribute her condition to loss of blood or the fact that the smell of blood made her faint.

"Edward, remove her jacket and snow pants. We need to find out where the injury is and discover what caused it," Carlisle directed calmly and efficiently.

"We passed a hunter on our way home, but I was moving fast, so I don't think that could be the cause," I informed him as I gently laid Bella down on the table.

"Edward, when does anything normal happen to our Bella," he replied calmly as he opened his bag and removed a syringe and a number of scalpels, probes, and forceps. I admired his equanimity in the tense situation – well, at least, tense for me.

I slowly and carefully began to peel off the snow pants and then the ski jacket while Carlisle continued talking. "Once we find her injury, I'll administer a local to the area if she needs any type of treatment or stitches. If she recovers consciousness, I might need you to help keep her calm."

"I'll wait outside," Esme stated after arranging the basin of water and rags on a small side table and then moved it near the exam table.

As I removed the jacket, the scent of Bella's blood intensified, and her blood had distinctly stained the inside of the jacket's sleeve. "Carlisle," I said, "It's her upper arm." I moved back to allow Carlisle room to examine the wound, but first he cut open the sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing. I could see that Alice had chosen warm clothing for Bella to wear under the jacket and pants.

I watched quietly as Carlisle gently probed the wound and then he announced, "She has a bullet lodged in her arm. I may have to ex-ray on Monday to make sure the bullet did not fracture or splinter the bone." He reached out his hand as he said, "Hand me the syringe on the tray and I'll numb the area, and then wash your hands and you can dispense the instruments to me as I need them."

I was happy to scrub up and act as his nurse because I didn't want to leave Bella's side. I also felt responsible for her injury, but how the hunter's bullet managed to lode in her arm at the speed we were moving mystified me.

I sped downstairs, scrubbed and was back beside Carlisle in less than a minute.

"I'll need to swab away as much of the blood from the wound as possible, so if you'll prepare instruments for me Edward, I'll get started." Carlisle had become the complete professional, and I knew Bella was safe in his capable hands, and having two separate starts in medical school, I at least knew which instruments he wanted as he asked for them. It took Carlisle less than five minutes to locate the bullet and extract it, and just as he was sewing up the wound, Belle began to murmur.

"Edward," her voice was just audible, "What happened?"

"Everything is fine, Bella. You just had an accident. Carlisle is almost finished, and then I'll take you up to my room and make you comfortable before explaining everything."

"Okay," she murmured again as her hand reached out searching for mine. I quickly allowed her to find it and she gripped it tightly. I wondered if she was feeling some pain.

I looked over at Carlisle, and in a timbre, I knew Bella wouldn't hear, I asked, "Can the anesthetic be wearing off this soon?"

Carlisle just nodded his head as he finished off the last stitch, then he addressed Bella. "Bella, this might hurt for a little while, but I'm going to give Edward some pills for you that will help ease the pain." He then walked over to a cabinet, took out a small bottle and handed it to me. "She can have one every four hours but no more, and I want her to keep her arm in a sling for the next week. We'll explain to her parents that she sprained her arm and that it is imperative that she keep the sling on until I can check her arm after the Thanksgiving holiday. Now, take her upstairs, and I will send Alice up to help Bella clean up. I'll dispose of the jacket, and the rest of this," pointing to the trashcan with the bloody swabs as he began to clean up.

I gently picked Bella up saying, "We'll go to my room now Bella; you just relax and do not move your arm." Bella just nodded her head, and I noticed her eyes remained closed.

Alice was in the room before we reached it, so she had seen Bella's need. She gently took Bella from my arms and disappeared into the bathroom with her. Within ten minutes, Bella and Alice walked out of the bathroom; Bella smiled across at me where I sat on the bed as she told Alice, "It was the most thoughtful present he could have given me, and it meant more to me because he had to think about what to give me without spending any money."

"I told him you would love it, but he doubted his choice." Alice giggled softly as she added, "He feared you would be angry with him for waking you so early, but I assured him it would be a good gift. I'm only sorry that I didn't foresee the accident."

Quickly I asked, "Did you tell her what happened?" My tone rushed out terse and brisk but only because I had wanted to be the one to relay the information about the bullet wound.

Alice scowled at me, as she retorted, "No, I didn't Edward. I know you want to tell her so I have kept quiet on that subject."

As Bella walked toward the bed, Alice made her way to the door. In unison, we both offered, "Thank you Alice."

Alice just waved her hand at us as she closed the door silently behind her. As Bella reached the bed, I offered her the glass of water I had obtained while she was busy with Alice, and one of the pills from the bottle Carlisle had given me.

"Here, it'll help," I offered her both and she gladly took them. "I think you should lie down for a while Bella."

She smiled as she handed me the empty glass and crawled onto the bed beside me. "Will you stay and hold me?"

"Yes, Bella," I relied as I helped her lay down, pulled the quilt over her to keep her warm, and then laid down beside her.

"Edward," she began as she snuggled against my left side keeping her injured left arm free from being touched, "What happened?"

"Well, just short of home, I sensed a human in our vicinity, so I veered east of him; however, as I did I heard a shot ring out. I hadn't been paying close enough attention to realize he was a hunter or I would have shielded you more. It seems his bullet managed to find you." I leaned up on my elbow, kissed her forehead, and then said, "I'm so sor . . ." but her finger pressed against my lips silencing me.

"Edward," I could sense sleep slowly washing over her, "this is not your fault. None of this is anyone's fault. The drowning, the bull, the infection, and now this, it all ties into my bad luck – or in my case, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nobody should take the blame for what happens to me accidentally and least of all you." Her breathing began to even out and I knew it would not be long before sleep finally claimed her. "Promise me Edward, promise not to blame yoursel . . ." and just that quickly sleep overtook her.

I lay with her snuggled against me; I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around her for fear of touching her wound, but I fervently hoped that this sleep would be void of dreams and allow her the rest she genuinely needed.

It was noon before Bella moved, and she had slept sound – a fact I was grateful for since I knew her body and mind needed the rest.

At first, she just snuggled up closer to me, and then she ran her hand over my face and then down to my chest. Because of the sensations her touch was causing, I cautioned, "Bella, be careful what you might stir up."

She just replied with a throaty, "Mmmm . . ." but then as she moved her hand again, she groaned out in pain. "Edward," she murmured through the groan, "Why does my arm hurt so much?"

"This morning, on the way home, you were shot. I'm so . . ."

"Shh, I slightly remember, but I remember more that I told you not to dare apologize or feel this was your fault," I noticed a slight snarl in her tone.

I moved away from her, grabbed the fresh glass of water I had retrieved for her a little earlier while she slept, and then I removed another pain pill from the little bottle. I turned toward her and helped her sit up, and then said, "Here, this will help the pain."

"Thanks," she took both from me and drank all of the water before returning the glass.

"Carlisle said you should keep your arm in a sling, and he has already called your mom to let her know that you sprained your arm and have an appointment with him Monday to have your arm x-rayed." I had retrieved a sling from Carlisle's office at the same time I had refilled her water glass in anticipation of giving her another pain pill.

"At least I don't have to explain to them how I came to be shot. I'm still not sure how it happened, but I do remember the scent of blood, and then nothing after that." She was sitting up and I noticed she was holding her arm close to her body.

I reached over to the bedside table and took the sling off the top where I had laid it. Then I got up and walked over to her side of the bed, "If you will move this way a little, I'll put this on for you. It should help keep your arm anchored to your side so it doesn't get jostled."

Bella scooted over to the side of the bed, hung her legs over the edge but left some empty space to her left so I could slip the sling over her head. Then I placed her arm inside of it, and belted it around her so it would hold her arm to the side of her body. "Tell me if it's too tight," I said; she just shook her head in reply.

"Edward, you do realize this is not your fault. It was an accident; it could have happened to anybody."

I knelt down in front of her and looked her deeply in the eyes as I replied, "No, Bella, not anybody, this is the kind of thing that could only happen to you. We were moving fast Bella; it should not have happened, and if I hadn't taken you out so early, you would have been safe at home."

Bella laughed at my words, then placed her free hand on my cheek, and said, "Edward, even home isn't safe, but you are right, bizarre accidents happen only to me, but that is part of my life and I've learned to live with it. You must do the same, accept that my life will always be filled with such events at least until you finally change me." Her eyes penetrated my gaze and I saw the depth of the truth in her words. "Changing me will be the only way you can completely protect me, Edward."

"Has it ever occurred to you, Bella, that if I would have left you alone, none of this would have happened?" I kept my tone serious because I did not want her to think I was joking.

"No Edward, I have had bizarre accidents all my life. I walk on a thin line at times between life and death, but I would never relinquish being with you. I can no longer survive without you Edward. You are now my life, and this is the only life I want. Please don't try to take it away from me out of some chivalrous idea that I would be safer without you. My life will never be safe, but without you, I won't have a life." Her resolve intensified as she spoke, and her eyes reflected the intensity of her feelings, but behind all of that, I saw the pain it would cause her if I left her. It would be an intense crippling pain; a pain so furious I was sure she would feel as if she wouldn't survive if it happened. As she finished speaking, a single tear rolled down her check and her hand dropped from my face.

I reached out and wiped the tear from her check. "Bella, I feel the same way. If you left me, my world would come crashing down around me; I would have no desire to go on with my existence. Bella, believe me when I say my love for you is stronger than the other emotions I'm capable of feeling, and it has tied me to you in a way that is now unbreakable by anything but natural death." I got up and sat down next to her choosing her right side rather than her left, then I wrapped my arm around her waist and she laid her head against my chest. Her heightened warmth immediately flooded through me. "I don't want to lose you Bella, but every time you have an accident, I'm horrified by the thought of how easily I could lose you. That concept causes more pain than I ever believed possible since my change."

She looked up into my eyes as she said, "There is only one way to solve this problem then Edward. The first would be to change me now before my life becomes any more dangerous, and the second is that you just learn to live with this until you do change me."

I smiled down at her as I replied, "I guess I'm going to have to learn to be more vigilant where you are concerned because I want you to graduate first. It will be much easier to move you away from your parents at that point." I gently tilted her face just enough so I could kiss her; this kiss was not passionate, but loving and gentle. As I released her lips, I added, "I'm going downstairs to get your lunch. Any requests?"

"A peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk, if you please." She smiled up at me as she asked.

"Your wish is my command," I replied before getting up and rushing downstairs. It took no time at all to make her sandwich, trim the crust – something I learned at lunch one day at school, and finally cut the bread diagonally in both directions creating four small triangles – another thing I learned during the lunch hour.

Bella might be odd because of her proclivity for danger, but she also had some endearing qualities as well. Her penchant for triangular sandwiches was one of them, and her cravings for chocolate at certain times was another. I did learn that when Bella craved chocolate, you did not stand in her way of obtaining it; for her it was almost as much a driving hunger as thirst for blood was to me. Before our first month of going steady, I learned to keep a fresh supply of chocolate in my room for whenever her cravings occurred. Her other two endearing qualities consisted of her amazing blush, and her sharp intellectual, although erratic at times, thought process.

Although I reflected on many memories of Bella, it only took a few minutes to prepare her lunch and return to my room with it on a tray. As I entered my bedroom door, I noticed Bella was on the floor with her leg stretched out under my desk, and not the open part of the desk, but the part that was only about a foot off the floor because of the drawers. My first reaction was concern because I thought she had hurt herself somehow, but before I could say anything, Emmett peered over my shoulder and asked, "Just what are you doing Bella?"

Bella turned slightly with a smile on her face and replied, "I dropped some change and most of it rolled under the desk. I couldn't get it with my arm in a sling so I'm picking the coins up with my toes."

Emmett laughed as he and I entered the room. I walked over and placed the tray on the desk while looking down and watching Bella sliding her leg out from under the desk and there between her toes was a dime.

Suddenly, I heard Emmett roaring with laughter behind me as he asked, "Why didn't you just ask Edward to get that dime for you instead of inconveniencing yourself in that manner?"

"Oh, it wasn't an inconvenience. I do it all the time." Bella smiled as she placed the dime on the desk with the rest of the change she must have retrieved.

"Well, anyone can do that. It just seems it would have been easier for Edward to pick it up then for you to slide it out with your foot."

"Oh, I didn't slide it out; as I said before, I picked it up with my toes."

I smiled as I watched Emmett's reaction to go from amusement to amazement, and then he smiled again and commented, "Well, anyone can do that."

'This could be interesting,' I thought. I had seen the coin between her toes so I knew she hadn't just slid it out, but the fact that he thought anyone could do such a thing was interesting. In fact, I wondered if he really could perform such an act. I couldn't help but ask, "Why don't you show us how it's done?"

Bella smiled as she got up and sat in the desk chair but said nothing.

"Sure," Emmett walked over and held out his hand to Bella, "If I could borrow a dime, I'd be glad to show him how easy it is."

Bella smiled as she pick up a dime from the desktop and asked, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to start with a half dollar?"

I had a feeling Bella knew something Emmett didn't know.

"No, the dime will do; besides, if you can do it, then any one can," Emmett smirked.

As he began to remove his shoe and sock, I noticed the room filling up with the rest of the family. Alice had been the first through the door with Jasper close on her heals, they were followed by Carlisle and Esme and finally Rose. Alice has a huge smile on her face, which led me to believe this demonstration would result in the end of the bet; reading Alice was impossible though. Although she had a huge smile on her face, her thoughts revolved around reciting the periodic table.

After removing his shoe and sock, Emmett said, "I'm ready. Can I just stand here and do this or do I have to sit on the floor?"

"I think standing will be fine," Bella said with a smile that spread all the way across her face. "I'll just place this on the floor and when you are ready, you can pick it up."

I heard Rose whisper, "Why is he picking up a dime?"

Alice softly replied, "He is not just picking it up, he is attempting to pick it up with his toes."

"Why?" Puzzlement covered Rose's face.

"Because he saw Bella do it and he is now going to prove he can do it," Alice replied with a smirk.

"This should be good," Jasper whispered to Carlisle.

Carlisle nodded as he commented, "Emmett is in for a surprise."

"Why?" Esme asked.

"Have either of you ever tried to pick anything up with your toes?" Carlisle looked from Esme to Jasper.

"No, can't say I have, or that I ever thought about attempting it," Jasper replied at the same time Esme commented, "Why would I want to?"

Alice just laughed as Bella placed the dime on the floor – the family's comments occurred between the time Bella picked up the dime from the desktop and placed it on the floor in front of Emmett.

Emmett spent a few minutes looking at the coin before he finally raised his foot over the coin and began attempting to pick it up with his toes. We all watched as he endeavored numerous times to retrieve the coin, but most of the time, just as he would begin to curl his toes to grab it, it would jump away from him, as if he were trying too hard. I noted the dime would jump much as a tiddledy wink would when you snapped it. Emmett had bought the game since he said it had looked interesting, but we soon discovered that in snapping the winks with the large tiddledy, we broke them. We just used too much force, and we quickly disposed of the game.

Emmett's thoughts told me he was just as frustrated with this task as he had been with the game. I waited for him to admit it was beyond his capabilities, but he surprised me by saying, "Maybe Bella is right, and I should start with half a dollar."

Bella kept all comments to herself and picked up the dime while replacing it with half a dollar. Emmett proceeded to spend another fifteen minutes trying to get his toes around the half dollar without snapping it or bending it, but all his attempts failed. He finally admitted his defeat.

"You win Bella. I can't pick it up with my toes. How do you do it?" He finally asked.

Bella looked around the room at the family, and then said, "I've always been able to do it. The first thing I remember retrieving was my teddy bear that fell out of the crib and onto the floor. The mattress was set so low, I could hang my leg out of the bed and just reach the floor, so when he fell, I could reach him with my foot as well."

"Why was the mattress low?" Emmett asked before anyone else, but I knew everyone else had formed the same question in their minds.

Bella chuckled softly, "My parents set it low because I had tendency to lean over the rail and inevitably fall over it. I hit my head quite often falling out of the crib, so my parents solved the problem by placing the mattress low enough that I could no longer lean over the rail. After that, whenever I dropped something out of the crib, I used my legs and toes to retrieve what I had lost, unless it was too heavy. There are still times when I find it a handy skill, like today."

Emmett chortle as he commented to no one in particular, "La fille a des pieds de singe."

Bella glared at him as she replied, "Now you're making fun of me."

Emmett stopped laughing, "You understood that?"

"Yes, funny thing is, I had to learn the French for 'monkey' and 'feet' for a class I had a few years ago, and 'girl' was one I remembered from a French class I took in sixth grade. I honestly think implying I have 'monkey toes' constitutes teasing." She looked over at Alice for confirmation, "Don't you agree Alice?"

Alice looked at everyone and then replied, "I concur, and I declare Bella the winner of this bet."

"Damn," Emmett muttered under his breath as he walked over and sat down on the bed.

Bella got up from her chair, walked over to him, and sat beside him. "I tell you what Emmett. I'll give you chance to redeem yourself."

Emmett looked up at her with a slight gleam in his eyes. "What are you willing to bet?" He was already formulating bets he could make with her that he could easily win.

Bella's smile intensified as she offered, "I will bet you double or nothing that Alice can put a needle through my skin without drawing blood, and to make it more interesting, she will use a darning needle."

Emmett looked slightly confused as he asked, "What do you mean by a darning needle?" His thoughts already revealed his belief that this was one bet that Bella could not win.

"A darning needle has a dull rounded point; it is not sharp on the end at all."

"Just to clarify, you are betting me that Alice will take this dull, round-tipped needle and she will put it through your skin without making you bleed?" Emmett was beginning to think there might be a trick to what she had proposed.

"That is correct," Bella affirmed.

Emmett scrutinized Bella's face, and then asked, "You don't have holes in your ears, so where exactly is Alice going to put the needle through?"

"Well, how about under my arm?" Bella offered.

I knew Emmett's thoughts, and everyone else was fixated on ways it would be possible for Alice to achieve what Bella was suggesting. The only two minds that revealed nothing of how this could be done were Bella and not surprisingly, Alice. I presumed that Alice knew something the rest of us didn't, but it worried me that either of them would attempt something of this nature if neither had an idea of how it could be done.

"When?" Emmett asked simply.

"When what?" Bella returned.

"When will Alice put this needle through your skin?" He clarified.

"Right now, if you agree to the bet," Bella offered.

Emmett studied her one more time, and then said, "You've got yourself a bet."

Bella looked over at Alice and said, "Go get the needle."

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**_AN: The following is extra information for anyone who needs clarification._**

**_If you are unfamiliar with the game Tiddledy Winks, go to the following site for pictures of it, it was popular kids game in the 1950's – .com/boardgame/4792_**

**_'La fille a des pieds de singe' is French for 'The girl has monkey feet.'_**

Please be kind and leave a review after reading this chapter. Also, if you find an errors, leave a review telling me where the error is, what it is, and then I will be able to fix the error. Thanks.


	27. Chapter 27 A Sad Goodbye

_**AN: Disclaimer, I do not own the main characters in this story with the exception of Bella's parents who are nothing like Charlie and Renee.**_

_**If you are enjoying this story, I would like to hear from you. If you are located outside of the United States, I would also like to know what you think of this story, how you found it, and when you started reading it.**_

_**I also wish to thank those of you who have left reviews, and especially those who have left two or more reviews. I would list you, but that would take awhile, but I have sent you each a PM offering you my personal thanks.**_

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**Journal Entry Twenty – A Sad Goodbye – [1958]**

Almost before Bella finished telling Alice to get the needle, she was out the door and back, so she must have known exactly where to find such a needle. It was thicker than most needles I had seen, and it did have a blunt rounded point, but I was still skeptical of Alice being able to put it through Bella's skin without drawing blood.

"Bella, tell me you don't have any man-made holes in you," Emmett said as he looked from the needle in Alice's hand to Bella.

"No, Emmett, I don't have any man-made holes, and Edward, don't look so concerned. It really will be fine." She tried to reassure me but I didn't like this idea one bit. "I do need to borrow one of your undershirts though, so do you mind if I get one and put it on?" She gave me that smile I couldn't refuse, besides, if she wore my shirt her scent would remain on it and I would have something to keep with me while she was away. Maybe I could even convince her to wear it tonight while she was sleeping. She might have a particular smile that made my heart melt, but I had a look that would convince her to do almost anything I asked.

I nodded to her, and while she walked over, pulled an undershirt out of my drawer, and went to the bathroom, I turned to Carlisle, "Carlisle, is it even possible for Alice to do what Bella is proposing?" Of all people, I thought he might have an idea.

"Only if Alice goes through a layer or two of skin, but it would need a sharper point than that needle has." Carlisle had watched Bella as she walked toward the bathroom and entered it, and his thoughts were running through possible scenarios, but none of them appeared possible without a sharper needle.

"Actually, I will go through more than two layers of skin. I can't say how many exactly, but once the needle in under the skin, it will continue under the skin for about a quarter of an inch and then it will come out of the skin, and I assure you that no blood will be spilt," Alice informed us. Then she turned to me and added, "Not even the tiniest drop Edward."

Emmett looked at Alice and noted the calm look on her face, and then he looked at Carlisle as Bella walked out the door with my shirt on. It was large and baggy on her, but it also looked rather sexy knowing it was my shirt on her body. Emmett then looked at me and said, "I've been had, haven't I." It was an actual declaration of fact rather than question.

Alice and Bella exchanged looks and then Alice giggled, but I could see that Bella was trying not to laugh as she sat down on the bed. "I'll need you to pull the sleeve up, Alice; it was hard enough getting the shirt on." She then looked over at me and said, "I think I may have to wear your shirt for the rest of the day because I'm not sure if I can get it back off without hurting my arm."

I smiled broadly as I replied, "I have no problem with that Bella."

Alice promptly sat beside Bella, and as she raised her arm, Alice pulled the sleeve down exposing her skin. Then she took the needle and slowly began to push it into Bella's skin while we all moved closer to see how she was doing it. Had we been human, none of us would have noticed the tiny hole that Alice was inserting the needle into, and looking even closer, I saw the exit point of the hole. Emmett began laughing when he realized what was happening, and Carlisle asked, "How long have you had that Bella?"

Bella smiled as she replied, "I'm not sure. My mother found it when I was about five and then when I was around twelve, she pointed it out to me. She figures I probably had it all my life, but she had never noticed it before, and she might not have found it if I hadn't been stung by a bee under my arm."

"Was that another one of those fluke accidents?" I asked. Only Bella would be stung under the arm.

"I guess so," she replied. "I don't really remember it. I just know what my mother told me."

"How did Alice find out about that hole?" Emmett asked as Alice finished pushing the needle through the hole so we could see it came out the other side, and then she removed the needle.

"Well, one day we were talking about some of the oddities in my life and I happened to mention the fact that I had this strange hole in my body, so she asked to see it. She wondered if it went all the way through, and I assured her it did." Alice was helping Bella pull the sleeve down over her upper arm again. "She asked how I knew that and I told her that I was curious about the same thing, so I got a sewing needle out and attempted to put it through the hole but I accidently turned it in such a manner that I actually stuck myself with the pin. I then went to my mother and asked her if she knew of a way that I could find out if the hole went all the way through the skin. She suggested we try using a darning needle because of the blunt end. She was the first person to put the needle through the hole, and Alice was the second."

"May I look at it Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't mind," Bella replied and Alice vacated the spot on the bed beside Bella and Carlisle sat down there and pulled up the sleeve of the shirt, and then Bella raised her arm so he could look at it.

Carlisle frowned, and then said, "This is very interesting. I've never seen anything like this before."

"That's my girl," I said. "Only Bella would have something no one else shares with her."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Edward," Carlisle replied. "This might be a genetic oddity in her family, or something that others also have, but never mentioned to anyone. They may not even know they have it, and if it hadn't been for the bee sting, Bella's mother might never have found it either." Carlisle stood up and walked over to Esme, and then asked, "So Bella, what are you going to ask of Emmett now that you have won?"

I walked over, took the place beside Bella that Carlisle vacated, and put my arm around her waist to pull her close to me.

"I'm still working on that, and I need some more time to work out my request. I think I'll have it all figured out by the time we return home from Dad's Thanksgiving trip."

"I have to wait? That doesn't seem fair. I lost, it would be nice to learn just what I have lost," Emmett grumbled.

"As if you couldn't afford anything Bella asked," Jasper retorted, "And don't forget, it is now double, so she can actually ask you for two things," he added with a sly grin.

"So Alice, who won the Emmett pool?" Esme asked.

Alice slowly looked around the room drawing out the drama of her announcement before she finally said, "Believe it or not, the winner of the pool is . . ." a large smile crossed her face as a slight chuckle escaped her lips before she finished, "Bella."

"That's not right," Emmett grumbled. "You're evil Bella. You planned this all out just so you could best me. Some little sister you turned out to be," he lamented.

Bella slipped out of my grasp and slowly walked over to Emmett and laid her hand on his shoulder. "I would never cheat Emmett. How was I supposed to know you would want to try to pick up a coin with your toes?"

Emmett fairly towered above her. Seeing the two of them standing together always reminded me of just how small and fragile she was. At six foot seven, Emmett made her look like a midget; even beside me, her five foot two inch frame was small. I watched as Emmett's eyes softened as he stared at her, and then said, "But that last bet was a set up," he accused.

"Yes it was, and for that I apologize and I won't ask you for a second thing," Bella's voice had become soft and repentant as she spoke. "But I didn't cheat on the first bet, and I had no idea I would win that pool. It was Esme who suggested I put in a bet; she said since everyone else in the family had picked a day and time, I should also."

"Well, I guess if Esme encouraged it, that's okay, and I accept your apology about the last bet." He smiled slightly at her as he finished speaking.

Bella still had her hand on his shoulder as she asked in a contrite tone, "Are we still friends?" I also noticed her lower lip trembled slightly.

Emmett noticed it also because his thoughts turned to the suspicion that he had made her cry even though no tears were present. Emmett grabbed Bella around the waist and lifted her off the floor as he hugged her – I was glad to note he didn't grab either of her arms as he hugged her. In response, Bella wrapped her good arm around his neck. "Bella, just because I'm a sore loser doesn't mean I would stop being your friend, or your big brother. I might get angry or put out by you at times, but you'll always be my little sister," and then he whispered softly even though the rest of us heard it, "even if Edward doesn't marry you."

"Emmett," I growled, "Don't put such thoughts in her head. It has taken me long enough to convince her I love her as much as she loves me, and that I'll never let her go."

Emmett just laughed and told Bella, "If he doesn't keep his promise, we can always have a shot-gun wedding," at which Bella laughed also.

With the bet finally resolved, and Emmett and Bella's hug finished, everyone left the room to allow Bella and I to enjoy some alone time. We ended up spending the rest of the day in my chair – Bella comfortable on my lap and snuggled again my chest – reading and listening to music. From time to time, Bella would put her book aside and kissed me. The first time she did it, I asked, "What was that for?"

She replied, "For the wonderful gift you gave me this morning."

"I wish I had learned earlier that simple gifts garner the best rewards; if I had, I would have started lavishing you with the simple gifts that are found around us every day much sooner. I should also warn you, Bella, to be more careful because I might get use to these displays of thanks, and you may find yourself on the receiving ending of multiple gifts."

"As long as they don't cost anything, then I won't mind thanking you." Bella paused briefly, pulling slightly away from me before saying, "Did I ever tell you that you smell wonderful?"

"Just a few hundred times," I laughingly replied. "It's one of the lures that draws humans to us; it makes it easier to nibble on them without them complaining," I explained again as I methodically but slowly began to kiss her neck, ears, and finally her lips. When I finally paused to allow her to draw breath, I said, "Your scent, however, is completely addictive and I will not complain about being wrap me around your little finger."

She pulled away from me marginally as she asked, "And just what does that mean Edward Anthony Cullen?"

I learned very early in life, first from my real mother and then from Esme, that when someone uses your full name, they are upset with you for something you have said or done. Bella took offense at my comment; however, I meant it as a complement not an insult, so I clarified, "Bella, I love you beyond compare and I am wrapped me around your little finger, which means I'll do anything you ask of me."

"Anything! Really?" A smiled played across her lips and I could see the wheels of thought spinning through her remarkably expressive eyes.

Realizing I had said 'anything,' I knew I was in for a challenge.

"So, if I asked you to change me right now, you would do it?" The question was not surprising given the push she had been making recently for just such an action on my part.

"If I changed you right now, what excuse would you give your parents for missing school, staying here for the next few days, and not going on this holiday trip with them?" I asked but held any smile I might have given in check.

Once again, I watched her eyes as she searched for an answer. One day, I decided, I would be able to tell what she was thinking just by watching her eyes, what never dawned on me at that time was that Bella never thought about things the same way others did, and although I've spent considerable years trying to decipher her thoughts through her eyes, it does not always work. What I saw at that point was delight, sorrow, happiness, regret, fear, concern, and finally resolution, but resolution was only a guess.

Thinking she was resolved to wait, I foolishly said, "So, you see my point about why now is not a good time?"

This time she not only pulled away from me, but she rose from our chair and took two steps away from me. All I saw was her back as she said, "Oh, I see alright. What you are trying to say is you're having doubts about me. You're giving yourself time to back out of this awkward, one-sided relationship."

It was not the resolution I had thought she had come to, and how she could ever believe that impossible thought was beyond my comprehension. The only one on the receiving end of this one-sided relationship was I – I would gain everything while she lost everything, but I wasn't sure she fully understood that.

"Bella, I will never back out of this relationship. If you, however, feel you don't want me in your life, just say so, but for my part I'll only leave if you tell me to, and as to one-sided . . ." I took a deep unnecessary breath before I continued. "Don't you realize that I'm the one who gains the most from this while you will lose those dearest and nearest to you?" I rose from the chair, reached out to her, and wrapped my arms around her shoulders resting them just above her heart so I could feel every beat and flutter it made. Currently, it was beating fast out of either fear or love – I wasn't sure which.

"You," she huffed, "What have you gained? I'll tell you what you've gained. You've gained a klutz who is likely to kill herself every time she takes a step, and a graceless klutz at that. I'm plain: there is nothing remarkable about me, whereas Alice and Rose are breathtaking and it is no wonder Jasper and Emmett are madly in love with them. And, although you have never said anything about it, I know that my skin is marred with more scars than any normal human – I'm surprised you haven't counted them," and there I made another foolish mistake because I let escape a small muffled laugh. She abruptly pulled away from my embrace and moved to the other side of the room putting the bed between us. "You have, haven't you?" She accused.

"Bella, your skin is amazing, and I can't help but touch it, and in the process, yes, I have noticed the scars. I have even memorized them," a small depress moan passed her lips, "but, Bella, every one of them is unique and, in my eyes, they make you even more special . . ."

"Sure, especially breakable," she groaned.

"No, Bella, they make you unique because they are the evidence of your life . . ."

"A pathetic one at that," she muttered with her eyes downcast concealing from me what she might be thinking and feeling.

"Bella," I said just a little louder than I meant to. "Bella," I began again, but this time with more of a caress in my tone. "You are a survivor, and I would like to think that you have survived just so I could one day claim you as 'mine forever.' I want eternity with you Bella, but I also want you to realize what you will be giving up just so I can have you with me forever. I don't want you to one day hate me because of what I have taken away from you."

"What do you think I will be giving up Edward?" There was a slight undertone of worry and fear in her voice, but what she would be afraid of – unless it was concern for the people and life events that she would lose – was beyond my understanding.

"Should we begin with your parents and then work through your friends?" I asked.

"Edward, I will lose my parents one day despite the decision you make about my future. As soon as I leave for college, they will lose me. As for friends, Alice is my best friend and after her, I count Emmett and Jasper as closer friends than others I have met. The friends I've made since I have been here are few and fleeting. I never expected to keep them as friends for long – I see them more as acquaintances." She must have heard my huff at her response because she added, "if you don't believe me, then ask my mother. She'll tell you I don't make lasting friends anymore."

"Why is that Bella?" Curiosity made me ask that particular question. Bella was the first friend Alice had ever made outside the family, and for Alice to take to someone, especially a human, so as to make them a friend, well it just showed how charming and loyal Bella could be. For not only did she agree to be Alice's friend, but she also looked past what Alice was and accepted her as she would any other human teenager.

"Edward, I have attended seven different schools in the last ten years, I learned early on that it was a mistake to make friends because we would just move again. Alice is the first real friend I've had since third grade." Bella sounded sad as she spoke, which prompted me to ask another question.

"Why not make friends, but then keep in touch with them after you move?" It seemed a reasonable enough solution.

"It doesn't work that neatly Edward. I did write to my best friend from third grade. I wrote her faithfully every week, but by spring, she stopped writing to me. It hurt; I knew she was getting tired of writing and that she was making new friends, but it still hurt when she finally rejected me, so I decided I would not get that close to anyone ever again. With Alice though, it was different. At first, I was her friend so I could be near you – pathetic isn't it?" She didn't wait for an answer but plowed right ahead, "Alice saw through me right away, but she said she didn't care. She told me that she had seen me as part of the family and she had decided she would begin treating me like one. I never had brothers or sisters, and Alice's offer touched me deep inside, so I agreed to be her friend for no other reason than being a friend. When Emmett offered me his friendship, I almost ran from the house, not because I didn't want him as a friend, but because I feared being hurt again."

She took a pause to compose herself; I could tell she was on the verge of tears. I wanted to walk over to her and comfort her, but I held back knowing she would want to finish what she was saying.

After taking a deep breath she continued. "Right after Emmett, Jasper also became my friend, and at that point, I realized if you rejected me completely, then I would lose them all, and I didn't want to face that pain again. Then Emmett offered me something I couldn't refuse – he offered to be my big brother. I never dreamed that anyone would ever offer me not only friendship, but also a family. I said yes instantly, and began worrying about when I would lose them. When you stopped coming to my room at night, I knew I had lost and it would only be a matter of time before your family moved away and I would lose my three best friends and the only big brother I had ever had. I cried myself to sleep for a few nights after that, but then Alice said something that helped me to cheer up a little, and with her, Emmett, and Jasper's help I resolved to see things through with the relationship I had been developing with them."

I could tell by the way she looked down and avoided eye contact when she mentioned Alice sharing something with her that she was purposely holding back something. I was never one who accepted only a part of a picture. I had to see it all, and before Bella, very few people could hide much from me for long. With Bella, though, I had to find ways to coax her into sharing with me what she didn't want to share. This would be one of those times. So, moving quickly so she wouldn't be able to flee from me, I crossed the room, stood behind her, and wrapped my arms around her waist. Then I began to kiss the back of her neck and worked around the side and up to her ear.

"Bella," I whispered softly, "How can I prove to you that I will never change my mind, that I will always want you and that you will find it very hard to get rid of me?"

In an even softer whisper as she leaned into my kisses, she replied, "I don't know Edward. I want to believe you, but I'm so unsure of myself, of my being worthy of someone as wonderful, loving, and kind as you. You're perfect and . . . well, let's be truthful, I'm not."

Still in a hushed voice since my lips were still at her ear, I assured her, "But you are perfect in my eyes Bella. Everything about you is perfect. The scent of your blood, the aroma of your skin," I carefully spin her around so she was facing me as I continued, "Your eyes," and I began to kiss every anatomical part as I listed them for her, "Your nose, your forehead, your cheeks, and especially your lips," I lingered there longer than on her other facial features. Her lips always reminded me of ripe cherries, and her taste was worthy of the ancient Greek gods, but I would never have agreed to share her even with them. When I knew she was nearly breathless, I left her lips and worked down to her neck saying, "And your neck is even sweeter still. I cannot only smell your blood, but I can hear it as it pulses through your veins. It reminds me of how alive you are and how careful I need to be with you, but I still want you, Bella. I will never stop wanting you."

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck as she threw her head back leaving me free access to her throat. At one time, I would have been extremely tempted to sink my teeth into her neck and drink deeply from her, but now, that thought repulsed me more than it tantalized me. Instead, I licked her skin as well as kissed it causing Bella to moan deeply.

It was mean, but at that moment, I knew I could ask my question and Bella would answer without thinking about what she was saying. "Bella," I kept my voice low and soothing, "What did Alice say to you to cheer you up?"

"Cheer me up when?" She asked in a low tone as she reveled in the feel of my lips still caressing her neck.

"After you thought there was no hope for us," I tried to clarify and then added, "After I stopped coming into your room at night."

Still with her head back and my lips working their magic on her neck, she answered, "She said she saw me as part of the family, and if need be, she would change me herself. That way, she said, I would no longer be a temptation for you, and you could admit how you really felt about me, but I didn't really believe that last part," she ended just before she moaned again as I hit a sensitive spot on her neck.

"Thank you Bella," I replied as I released her. I was ready to have words with Alice about who would change Bella, but before I could leave, Bella grabbed my arm.

"Edward, that was mean." She didn't need to yell, her eyes revealed how hurt she felt about my manipulation of her, but then she surprised me even more when she pulled me around and pushed me down on the bed. If I hadn't been preoccupied with my anger at what Alice had said, Bella would never have caught me off guard and unprepared. Not only had she pushed me down, but also she climbed on me and straddled my chest as she knelt over me. "If you had wanted to know, why didn't you just ask? Why tease me for information and then stop so abruptly? Why not just threaten me instead?" She had a point, but she began fuming and left me no room to interject a comment. "Why not torture me instead?"

Now she leaned over and put her face as close to mine as possible. Her eyes sparked as if wanting to set me on fire, but instead of continuing to berate me, she twined the fingers of her good arm in my hair and began to kiss me, but in a manner quite unexpected from her. As she kissed me, she pulled my bottom lip into her mouth and bit me. It was quite unexpected, but also very arousing. No one had ever bitten me but Carlisle when he changed me, and that bite caused excruciating pain. This bite, however, caused a deep stirring within me, and I grabbed Bella, flipped her over, and slipped my tongue into her mouth. I hadn't meant to do that, but it happened – it was another shock at how she responded, not only did she accept it but her tongue caressed mine causing even more tension to build up in a lower part of my body. It took me a few moments to recover my senses, but before she could push her tongue into my mouth, I pulled painfully away from her.

I put my hands on either side of her head, pushed myself up so I was still above her, and said, "I'm sorry Bella, that was totally unacceptable on my part." As I spoke, I also became aware of how our bodies had unexpectedly entwined. Not only was I on top of her, but my knee was between her legs, not close enough to touch her, but definitely close enough to feel her heat. I also realized her arm was no longer in the sling, something I had lost track of during our kissing both before and after Bella pushed me on the bed.

"You didn't like it?" She asked softly with a little quiver in her lip.

"No, it's not that. It was the fact that I went too far. Bella, you're young, and I'm not as experience as you might think. Sometimes I react without thinking about what might happened. I respect you, and I don't want to offend you in any way." I wasn't positive if I was expressing myself clearly or if I was upsetting her more.

"Edward, you haven't offended me. If you had, I would have struggled to push you away. I trust you. I know you won't do anything intentionally to hurt me, but I also allow my emotions to overwhelm me. What we feel for each other seems right, but maybe stronger than either of us knows how to deal with because it is so new for both of us." She was staring up at me with those expressive eyes, and I could see the love shining out of them for me.

I might not understand how or why she could love someone as unnatural as I was, but I was grateful that she could. I wanted her love, and even more, I wanted to return her love a hundred-fold. Without completely understanding how or why, she had become my entire world and I didn't want to do anything that would scare her away.

"I have to warn you of something, Bella. Something we haven't talked about before because it never really came up, but now it has. My teeth, Bella, are razor sharp – they have to be in order to penetrate skin."

I saw what I thought was the dawning of comprehension appearing on her face just before she said, "In other words, it would be unwise of me to allow my tongue to enter your mouth." Her lips turned down into a frown, "That's a shame, really," she added, "I rather enjoyed that. I never thought anyone kissed like that, but I have to admit it felt nice, and you tasted nice as well."

"Actually Bella, what you tasted was my venom, and if you would have had any kind of open sore in your mouth, it would have quickly entered your blood stream and begun a change in you." I was still poised above her, but I kept a smile on my lips so as not to scare her too much.

"Oh," was her only reply.

"I think Bella, now might be a good time to give you another pain pill, put your arm back in the sling, and then I'll fix you some supper," and as I spoke, I slowly removed myself from above her, and then helped her up off the bed.

"Maybe that might be a safe idea," she replied as I was helping her to stand up. "It's funny Edward, but while we were so engaged, I didn't notice my arm. Now, however, it is actually beginning to throb a little."

I chuckled softly as I said, "Let's not tell Carlisle about the sling slipping off, he might not be too happy with the extracurricular activity you subjected your injury to."

"I won't tell if you don't," she replied with a light laugh of her own.

We spent the rest of the evening downstairs playing poker with Emmett. He needed an outlet to win back his confidence after losing two bets to Bella, so Bella was happy to spend time with him. Unfortunately, Bella had a tendency to win just as many hands as she lost, but at least she had Emmett laughing again.

On Sunday, Bella spent most of her time with Alice, or maybe it is more appropriate to say Alice monopolized most of Bella's time. At least Alice allowed her to sleep in before she dragged Bella off to her room for a fashion coordination makeover. As a result, I spent hardly anytime with Bella, and Alice didn't even allow me drive her home because the cover story had Emmett, Jasper, and I out camping until evening. I made up for the time I missed with Bella that day by racing to her house and then waited in her bedroom while Alice drove up to deliver Bella and their purchases from the fictitious shopping trip.

Bella's father was the first to ask about Bella's arm. While we had been playing poker, we all offered stories about how Bella hurt her arm. Bella wanted to say she slipped stepping off the curve as they left one of the stores, but Alice and I both pointed out that Bella had no scraps or scratches from falling on concrete. Jasper thought she could just tell her parents she had slipped in the store, but Bella informed us all that if she told her father that, he want to know if the store was responsible for having wet or slippery floors, and for her that was too much of an argument to enter into with her father. Emmett's offering caused both Jasper and I to chuckle and I knew Bella would reject it instantly. He told her she should say she tripped in the dressing room while changing. Alice surprised me by saying it was the most logical explanation and left no room for Bella's father to blame the store or its employees, so Bella decided she would go along with that story much to Emmett's delight.

As she walked through her front door, I was already laying on her bed waiting, and her father, whose voice seemed to carry throughout the house, demanded, "Bella, what happened to your arm?"

"It's nothing dad, just a little sprain." From the tone of her voice, I could tell she was trying to downplay the incident.

"Well, how did it happen?" His voice was still demanding.

"Really dad, it was just a little accident."

"How?" He was expecting a detailed report; I could hear it in his thoughts.

"If you must know, I was changing clothes, lost my balance, and fell. I tried to catch myself but in the process, I twisted and strained my arm. Dr. Cullen says it is not that serious, but he wants me to keep it in the sling until we return from our Thanksgiving trip, then he will check it again and make sure everything is okay before I can remove the sling completely. He also wants me at the hospital tomorrow to have it x-rayed to make sure I didn't crack any bones." Bella kept her voice even and unflustered. One thing Bella had learned over her few short years was how to lie to her father.

"I'll pick you up from school tomorrow." It was not a request but a command. Being in the military as long as he had made it easy for him to give commands even to his own family.

"Dad, Alice has already agreed to drive me, so you won't have to miss any work." Bella informed him. What she left out was that Alice offered, but that I was actually the one who would take her.

"No, I want to talk to Dr. Cullen, so I'll be waiting outside the building as soon as school is over."

"But . . ." Bella began but her father quickly cut her off.

"End of conversation. I'll be waiting." I heard him walk off after that.

"I'm sorry Bella, you know how protective he gets," her mother offered.

"Overly," Bella added.

"Well, let's take your clothes upstairs and you can show me what you bought."

Her mother must have already been heading toward the staircase because Bella said, "Right now, are you sure? Can't we wait until tomorrow?" Bella knew I would be waiting for her.

"Come on Bella, it won't take long, and when we've shown your mom all the new clothes, I'll leave. I want to know what she thinks of _our_ choices." I heard the emphasis Alice put on _our_, wanting to enforce the idea that Bella and she did go shopping and picked out the clothes together.

Their advance up the stairs was my cue to make myself invisible, of course not literally. That was one vampire myth that I sometimes wished was true. Instead, I ducked into Bella's closet while mentally warning Alice where I was.

As soon as Alice shut the bedroom door behind her, I knew she was going to play devil's advocate. "So, is Bella's father upset with me because of Bella's injury?" She used the same pouty voice I had heard her use on Jasper when she wanted something he wasn't sure if she should have or do.

"Not you Alice, he just gets this way anytime Bella is hurt. He feels it's his fault because he wasn't there to protect her." I heard someone sit down in Bella's chair and wondered if it was her mother because as she spoke again her voice sounded a little further away. "You have to understand, Bella's father is extremely over protective. Her first accident occurred while he was watching her. She was still just a tiny thing, but had learned early how to roll over. He had left her on the sofa and only left for a minute to get a drink, and in that short minute of time she rolled off the sofa and fell on his shoes that had metal tipped toes. The blood scared him; he thought he had killed her. He rushed her to the emergency room, but they assured him that even though her head was still sensitive it was a minor injury and that even minor head wounds had a tendency to bleed more than any other place on the body. Ever since, he has taken it personally any time she is hurt, and it only get worse as he get older. For Bella's sake, I'll be happy when she can finally move off to college, but I have a feeling he'll still keep a constant watch on her." Silence enveloped the room for a moment, and then Bella's mother cheerfully said, "Enough remorse and guilt, I want to see what's being added to Bella's pitiable wardrobe."

"Mom!" Without visually seeing it, I knew Bella was blushing because the aroma of her blood quickly intensified.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed by Bella; you just don't dress in a manner that is flattering. Now Alice has a keen fashion sense and she seems to know exactly what will look good on you. So Alice, show me the first outfit you had Bella buy."

Bella's mother had given Bella shopping money, and Bella had tried to give the money to Alice to pay for the clothes but she wouldn't accept it. In order to pay Alice back, Bella used the money while we played poker Saturday evening, and she intentionally lost most of the money to Alice. What little she did win generally came from Emmett.

The impromptu fashion display took a little over half an hour with Bella's mother enthusiastically oh-ing and ah-ing while Alice made suggestions of what accessories Bella could wear with each and how she should style her hair. After Alice presented every outfit and Bella's mother commented on them, she congratulated Alice once again on her fashion wisdom where Bella was concerned. Bella was then more than ready to push both Alice and her mother out the door; I could hear it in her voice as she said her arm was beginning to ache and that she felt extremely tired.

As soon as Alice and Bella's mother had retreated downstairs, Bella opened the closet door and said, "You can come out Edward."

It was all the invitation I needed; I was out of the closet more quickly than Bella's eyes could follow, and in the process, I scooped her up in my arms and laid down on the bed still holding her. "You realize, we only have the next three nights, and then your father is taking you away from me for five days."

"So, maybe we should make the most of this little bit of time we have left," she smiled sweetly as she reached out and touched my face. "Maybe we could start with a pill, because my arm is really beginning to hurt."

I smiled at her as she lay beside me, "I'll let you cross the hall to get a glass of water; your parents are on their way up to go to bed."

"Well, that's good to know. We wouldn't want you seen coming out of my room, Dad would not be happy about that," she chuckled.

"I'd say he'd be more than unhappy. I have a feeling I wouldn't be allowed within fifty feet of you if he knew I spend most nights in your room when you're home."

"You're probably right," she said extracting herself from my embrace and then walking toward the door, "I'll be right back."

Bella's parents reached the top of the stairs as she reached the bathroom door, she paused only long enough to say 'good night,' and then I heard the door close. She must have listened for their bedroom door to close, because she didn't return until they were behind their closed door.

After taking her pain pill, she laid down beside me, cuddled close, and said, "Talk to me."

"What should we talk about?" I asked.

She buried her face into my chest before replying, "Tell me how much you'll miss me."

I chuckled as I replied, "I'm going to talk. Does that mean you plan to fall asleep, and if so, don't you want to change into something more comfortable?"

"No, I don't want to waste time away from you. It's bad enough that I have to sleep, so this will give me more time with you. You talk, I'll listen, and when I fall asleep, promise me you will not leave. I want you to hold me all night," she murmured softly leading me to believe she would not stay awake long.

"What ever you want Bella," I replied, and then I began to tell her how much I would miss her. It took only five minutes before she fell asleep, and as soon as sleep over took her, I covered her up so she would find a little warmth from her blankets, but I kept my promise and stayed with her until early morning. That was when I heard her father moving around, and just before he went downstairs, I heard him advance toward Bella's door, so I quickly moved from her side and ducked, once again, into her closet. I left the door slightly ajar so I could watch what unfolded between Bella and her father.

I could tell he had left her bedroom door open because a soft light shone in from that direction. At first, it looked like he was just checking on her, but when he caught sight of her shirt, he began to wonder why she went to bed with her clothes on. He walked to the side of her bed and sat down in the spot I had recently vacated. Because Bella had her arms wrapped around me, I had placed a pillow in her embrace so she would still be holding something in case she woke up. As her dad sat down, he reached out, gently shook her shoulder, and softly addressed her, "Bella."

At first, I feared he would touch her arm by her wound and would feel the bandage – that would definitely cause him to ask some very pointed questions.

Bella's response to his gentle shake was to murmur, "Don't go Edward," as she clutched the pillow closer to her.

His thoughts clouded with anger as he reached out and shook her shoulder again, but this time his voice was deeper and more authoritative as he said, "Bella."

Bella only murmured, "It's too early Edward."

Bella's father reached out one more time, and this time he shook her just a little hard as in the same deep authoritative voice he commanded, "Bella, wake up."

I heard Bella grumble something unintelligible, but then noticed as she not only squeezed the pillow ever so slightly but also moved her hand on the pillow; her actions almost caused me to chuckle, but the last thing either of us wanted was to have her father find me hiding in her closet.

This time, when Bella spoke, I suspected she was more awake then she let on. "Dad, it's my dream, go away."

"Bella, wake up," her father commanded again. His mind showed his anger abating slightly as he wondered if she had really been dreaming.

Bella's eyes opened marginally and I noticed her eyes do a quick scan of the visible area of her room just before she said, "It's not even light outside Dad; it can't be time for school yet."

"Bella," his voiced softened as he finally realized she was awake, "Why are you still dressed?"

Bella opened her eyes a little more, focused on her father, and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Your clothes, Bella, it looks like you slept in your clothes."

Bella slowly lifted her blankets and looked underneath, then she laughed lightly as she replied, "I guess I feel asleep. I only meant to lie down for a little while, but maybe the pills Dr. Cullen gave me caused me to fall asleep."

"What pills?" He asked.

"For the pain, he said my arm would hurt for a few days and it would be best if I took the pills so the pain wouldn't make me tighten the muscles in my arm. I took one just before lying down. I guess it put me to sleep without me realizing it."

"Bella, about this boy . . ."

"Dad, it's early, and I'm still groggy. Can we talk about this another time?" All the time she spoke, she remained in a prone position, but her face took on a determined look. She was not ready to talk to him with me in the room, and her eyes remained fixed on the closet door, so I knew she knew I was there.

"Maybe that would be a good idea. You go back to sleep, but we will talk about this later," he promised. He was already planning on what he would say, and he decided it would be best to talk to her while they were gone for Thanksgiving because then I would not be around.

As he slowly rose from her bed, she said, "Goodnight Dad."

He replied in a softer tone, "Good morning Bella," and then he left the room closing the door behind him. I waited patiently until I knew he was downstairs in the kitchen before attempting to leave the closet. Bella must have been listening as well, because she said, "It safe now Edward. He'll make some coffee and then leave for work."

"I'm sorry I broke my promise," I offered as I walked over to the bed.

"Yeah, well the pillow wasn't much of a substitute," she replied with a smile, which intensified as I laid down beside her.

"Your father wasn't very happy when my name crossed your lips; he suspects we've spent too much time together and is worried that things have progress past a healthy relationship." I began to run the tip of my finger over her full tempting lips.

"He what?" She squeaked a little loudly causing me to press my finger gently against her lips.

"Shh, you don't want him returning. It could get ugly if he really found me in here with you. I don't think we could convince him that nothing has happened between us even though we have shared a bed numerous times." I then leaned in and kissed her. "There are, however, advantages to staying with you and sharing your bed," I chuckled.

"And just what would those advantages be, Mr. Cullen?" She teasingly kissed the tip of my finger.

"One, I have a firsthand idea of what you dream about," she scowled at that comment. "And two," I continued while ignoring her look and moving my finger to trace her eyes, nose, and finally lips as I spoke, "I'm lucky enough to be the first person you see in the morning, and if uninterrupted, I get to kiss you awake." I concluded my comment by leaning in and kissing her lips. After releasing her lips, I whispered softly, "Now, go back to sleep so I can wake you properly later."

"Okay, but only because I like the idea of how you plan on waking me," she murmured as she closed her eyes.

The next two days flew by; generally, the days could not move fast enough for me, but knowing Bella would leave Wednesday morning caused our last two days together to speed by. Tuesday night Bella turned in early so we could spend as much time together as possible; she even managed to stay awake past midnight before finally succumbing to sleep. One thing I was able to do for her that evening was to change the dressing on her wound; I also suggested she wear bulky sweaters so no one would notice the bandage through her clothing. It was something she had done for the last two days of school, but she partly did it because of the drastic weather drop. I had begun to hope that we might have a severe snowstorm, which would cause Bella's father to change his plans. Unfortunately, Alice informed me that I would have no such luck because, although it would remain cold, she foresaw no snow in the immediate future.

Early Wednesday morning, I kissed Bella for the last time before slipping out her window. If I thought the days had gone slowly before meeting Bella, they went a million times slower while she was gone, and even though we called each other every day, it didn't do anything to alleviate the pain I felt because of her physical absence from my life.

**_AN: I would like to personally assure everyone that the unique hole under Bella's arm is not only possible, but I personally know someone who has one, and a needle does pass through the hole.  
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	28. Chapter 28 Bella

_**AN: All the Cullen characters and Bella Swan are the property of Stephenie Meyer, I claim none of them as my own.**_

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_While Edward is stewing over the five days he was separated from Bella and deciding whether to write about those five days, I have decided to address one reviewer's comment, received awhile back, that she found Bella a rather flat character. I must defend Bella in this instance. From Edward's narrative, Bella may seem rather flat because he is dealing with the beginning of their relationship. By the time Edward entered the picture, Emmett, Jasper, and I had known Bella for well over a year, and as her best friend, I would like to round out her personality more than Edward has. [2009]_

**Chapter 8 – The Real Bella [by Alice Cullen] [1957]**

I first saw Bella through Edward's eyes when he began imagining ways to lure her into the woods so he could 'sample' her blood. Many of his imagines were vague and swift since he continually changed his mind about how to lure her to a secluded spot. At one point, he had the audacity to entertain a vision of her in the woods behind our house. The moment the bell rang, I raced to the gym to intervene on the girl's behalf, but by the time I reached him, he had toned down his plan to giving her a ride home but stopping at the park. He still toyed with the idea of 'sampling' her blood but the decision was not concrete just an idea and a desire.

I had hoped that my warning would be enough to deter him from doing anything foolish, but what I could not foresee was the accident that would cause Bella to bleed while she was with him. Once he tasted her blood, I saw his persistent growing desire to consume more of her blood. He never entertained the idea of making her a permanent source of nourishment or even a human donor, but he did plan to continue his visits to her before slowly breaking away from the temptation of her blood. What he failed to see was the lure that would persist if someone did not intervene and create a different form of relationship between them, so I nominated myself as the one to intervene not only to change the relationship, but also to make sure Bella did not tell anyone about what she suspected.

On the day after Edward's revelations of tasting her blood, I began my plan to befriend her. First, I visited the Dean and requested a few class changes so that I would share at least two classes with Bella. Because of my effort, Bella and I had English and math at the same time making it easier to develop a friendship with her and monitor what she said to other students in the class. The first thing I learned about Bella was that she shied away from other student. She would talk to them, but she never shared herself with them. She was an extremely closed person.

The first week of Edward's slip was stressful around our house because of the arguments. Emmett, Jasper, and Rose were extremely upset about what Edward had done, and they were convinced Bella would tell everyone what she suspected about us. At first, I wasn't sure if she would talk to me because I was the one who had to begin our conversations. Anytime I would ask her something or make some comment that required an answer, she would look down at her desk, and when she did answer, she stayed focused on her desktop and spoke softly. I was later to learn that she was extremely shy when she was around people she didn't know. It took me an entire month of talking to Bella during class to get her to open up to me before I was finally able to invite her over to the house.

The invitation occurred during lunch on Friday when I was able to convince her for the first time to sit with us – it was also the first day Edward decided not to sit with us – and it had taken a tremendous amount of coaxing to get Emmett to agree to allow her at our table. Jasper, on the other hand, agreed because he knew it would make me happy. Rose only agreed grudgingly because Emmett promised to buy her a diamond necklace if she would pretend to be slightly friendly, but he assured her she would not need to speak to Bella.

"So Bella," I began, "I was wondering if you would like to come over after school today. I thought we could do our math homework together.

By this time, she was able to look at me when she spoke to me, "I'm not sure Alice. I would need to ask my mom first if it would be okay."

I clapped my hands in my excitement because I already saw that her mother would say yes, and I saw this was only the beginning of inviting Bella over. "Great, we'll call her right after school." My excitement caused me to add, "Maybe she'll even allow you to sleep over. I've never had a sleep over before. This will be so great Bella." Even as I spoke, I saw her mother saying yes.

"Alice," Bella laughed softly, "I'm not promising anything, but I'll call her after school and see what she says."

I could not hold my enthusiasm in because I jumped up and hugged her as I said, "Thank you Bella, you don't know how much this means to me." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rose glaring at me, and I knew she was hoping Bella's mother would say no, and I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that.

That Friday was the first of many visits. It began simple enough with a visit to Bella's house to pick up what she would need for the sleep over. Bella's mother was ecstatic about Bella finally having a friend and becoming more sociable. While Bella was packing a small overnight bag, her mother confided in me that Bella had become reluctant in the last few years to make close friends because of her father's job and the frequent moves that they had made in the last few years.

It was on the ride to our house that Bella began to open up a little.

"Alice," she began hesitantly, "I'm not sure if Edward mentioned this to you or your family, but I want to assure you that even though I know what you are, I won't tell anyone."

"He did tell us Bella, and a few members of the family were upset by the fact, but I knew you wouldn't tell," I informed her.

"How could you know that . . ." she paused for a moment, "Unless that was why you ended up in class with me? You weren't sent to spy on me?" She sounded slightly anxious.

I looked over and smiled at her, and then laid my hand on hers – smiling slightly as I noticed she did not instinctively pull away from my cold touch – as I said, "No Bella. I changed classes so I could become better acquainted with you because I want to be your friend, and I want you to be my friend." I looked at her again and noticed a small smile replace the frown I had seen earlier when she thought I might have been spying on her. "There is something you should know about me Bella. It explains why I knew you would never tell about us. You see, in my family some of us have extra abilities," I looked at her again to see her reaction to that little bit of information.

"You mean other than the . . . um . . . normal ones of what you are," she seemed rather hesitant to use the words blood and vampire, but she didn't seem fearful, which encouraged me to continue.

"Yes, these abilities go beyond normal vampire traits," I wanted her to feel comfortable using the word, and to show her it would not offend us if she called us what we were. "You see, some of us had certain odd traits as humans that were intensified when we were changed. Mine must have been the ability to sense when something was going to happen, because after I was changed, I could actually see future choices and events."

"You can see the future?" Bella asked elatedly.

"Only some things are certain Bella, those things I can see; for others, I only see the possibilities." I corrected.

"So what things are certain?" She asked.

"The weather for one; for instance, this weekend, I know, will be clear and sunny."

"What about a person's future? Can you tell me . . . if . . . well, if I might ever marry someone?" She asked hesitantly.

"It doesn't work that way Bella. With people, there are always choices, and a person might change their mind five or six times before they final choice what they will do. I could see all the choices as they think about them, but until they know which choice they will pick, I can only see the option, not the final choice."

"Oh," she commented thoughtfully, "So you would not be able to tell if someone is in love with another person unless they made the choice to be in love with them?" Her question was moderately vague and cryptic, but I knew exactly what she was asking only because I had seen her staring at Edward whenever she thought no one was looking.

"The answer to that would be no," and I left it at that because I didn't want her to know, yet, that I knew she was asking about Edward. The fact that I knew she was in love with him related partially to my visions, the rest was purely observation and hearing. Quite early on, I had noticed that her pulse increased anything Edward walked past her; in fact, the closer he came to her, the more it sped up, and I'm sure Edward had noticed that also, but I'm not sure if he understood why she reacted that way to him. Edward can be rather dense when it comes to emotions; if he cannot hear someone thinking about the way they feel then he does not recognize their emotions. As far as love was concerned, Edward had yet to experience that emotion, but when he finally did, he learned that 'love' is the one emotions that can cause a major change in our existence, but these were facts I was not ready to share with Bella yet.

Bella was thoughtful for a moment, and then she changed the subject completely. "How do your parents feel about me spending the night?"

"Esme is delighted; it gives her a chance to cook. Before Carlisle changed her, she loved to cook; now she seldom has the opportunity unless the PTA organizes a bake sale. Carlisle is happy I have a friend and Carlisle wants all of us to be happy." I was just turning into the driveway when I added, "Don't let Rose bother you. She doesn't like anyone except Emmett; sometimes she barely tolerates me. If she says anything rude, just ignore her – that's what I do."

"What about Emmett and Jasper?" I sensed some anxiety in her tone.

"They don't mind." I didn't tell her how they first felt, but her time at our table during lunch had helped them to change their minds about her. "Emmett has already agreed that you would make a fine addition to the family, and Jasper will accept you because he knows your friendship is important to me, and Jasper will do whatever it takes to make me happy." I parked the car, and then said, "Come one Bella, we'll ignore everyone else if we have to because I want you to have a good time." With that said, I quickly exited the car and grabbed Bella's small bag from the back seat as she got out of the car.

"Welcome," Emmett cheerfully greeted her as she entered the door. "I'm glad you finally agreed to enter the vampire den, and I promise not to bite."

Bella laughed softly as she replied, "Thanks Emmett, I hope I don't do anything to embarrass you or myself."

"Don't worry, Bella, it takes a lot to embarrass me. Just be careful not to bleed on the floor," he chuckled as he turned and rushed upstairs.

Despite Emmett's less then pleasing comment, Bella seem to take it all in stride, as she said, "I like him," causing me to laugh. I saw a bright future between the two of them.

We did have a good time that first evening. As promised, we worked on our math first, and then we spent time becoming better acquainted. Bella told me about the event that caused her to stop making close friends, and how her mother continued to push her into bringing friends home, which was one of the reasons why her mother was so happy when she discovered Bella would spend the night at my house. She then told me about her father's obsessive over protectiveness, which she claimed was driving her crazy – 'but not literally' she added.

I watched her become more animated and easy as we continued to talk, and I realized that Bella's shyness was a result of her defense mechanize, if she didn't make friends, she didn't get hurt. As the evening wore on, I finally asked her why she agreed to be my friend. I suspected her reason before she actually voiced it.

"Alice, I'm not sure if you'll like my answer, but I can assure you that I'm glad you're my friend and I wouldn't want to lose your friendship for anything."

"Please Bella, I won't stop being your friend even if you tell me that you have or rather had an ulterior motive at first." I wanted her to know that even when she said she first accepted my friendship so she could be around Edward, I would not stop being her friend.

"This is rather embarrassing Alice," and to prove her embarrassment she blushed a lovely shade of red.

"Say it quickly then," I encouraged.

"Okay, here goes – I did it so I could see more of Edward," and her blushed deepened as she spoke.

"There," I patted her arm, "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Bella laughed, she actually had a very pleasant laugh that made you want to laugh with her, "Yes, it was, but saying it quickly helped. You don't hate me do you?" I could see hope in her eyes as she asked that question.

"Truthfully Bella, I knew that was why you first agreed to talk to me, but I also watched you begin to accept me as well, even though I'm what some people might label a monster."

My hand was still on Bella's arm, and she placed her other hand over mine as she replied, "Only narrow minded, bigoted people would think that, and they would also miss a great opportunity of meeting the nicest person anyone could hope to call 'friend.'"

If I had still been graced with the ability to cry, I would have at that moment because I knew she was speaking the absolute truth as she saw it.

So began our friendship. At least two to three times a week, she would be over at our house doing homework and visiting, and many times Emmett would bring his work down and join us during both the homework and visiting. During our third week of friendship, I realized Edward was going to vacate the house every time Bella came over, but at the same time, Emmett relationship with Bella grew friendlier as well, and occasionally Jasper would stop and say 'Hi' before going off to his study to work.

As our one month anniversary as friends approached, I suggest a weekend sleep over to Bella. She liked the idea, but wasn't sure how her mother would react. I assured her that her mother would say yes, so Bella was more confident when she asked her mother about the weekend at the supper table on Thursday night. On Friday morning, when I picked Bella up for school – something I had arranged after our first sleep over, Bella informed me that her mother happily agreed, but it took some coaxing before her father agreed.

When we walked into the house after school Friday, Emmett was at the front door to greet us. "Hey, Bella," he greeted. "Since you'll be here all weekend, how about joining us in a game of cards tonight."

"Okay, I like to play cards," Bella smiled as she replied.

"Good, Alice will explain the rules," he said as he turned to leave. Over his shoulder, he added, "Don't forget to tell her about the blood penalty for losing Alice," Emmett chuckled.

Bella's mouth fell open, and I quickly informed her, "He's joking Bella. Carlisle would never allow such a thing especially in the house and to a friend of mine."

"Well," Bella face showed her obvious relief," "I'm glad to hear that." As we walked toward the dining room table, where we did our homework, she asked, "So, what kind of card games do you play?"

"Poker," I said offhandedly. Poker and Black Jack were two games Emmett premitted because they allowed him to bet, and Emmett loved betting and winning.

"Alice," Bella replied softly, "I don't know how to play poker."

"That okay Bella," I confidently informed her, "I'll teach you what you need to know as we play. Now, let's get our math done first, since that seems to be the one subject you dislike the most."

"How can you tell?" She asked.

I laughed as I told her, "You make faces while you solve the problems, and sometimes you groan under your breath. It's interesting to watch," I added thoughtfully, "I've never seen a face as expressive as yours."

"Great, that means everyone can tell how I'm feeling," she retorted under her breath.

"Not if they're not paying attention," I countered.

Bella made no reply as she laid her books on the table, pulled out a chair, sat down, and began arranging her books, paper, and pencils in her neat orderly fashion as usual before beginning her homework. It was interesting to watch her meticulous arrangement of her supplies. She always put her books to her right and her paper and pencils to the left, which seemed odd because she was right handed. She also stacked her books in descending alphabetical order, so they would be stacked with English on the bottom followed by French, history, math, and science. I also noticed she never began with her science book and she always left English for last.

I continued to watch as she pulled out her math book, opened it in front of her, and then reached across with her right hand to retrieve her pencil and two sheets of paper. After the first few times we worked together on homework, I asked her why she always kept two pieces of a paper together when she did assignments. Her reply was so she wouldn't mar Esme's lovely dining room table. I wanted to inform her – this time – that Esme would never notice any marks she might accidently leave on the table after we finished playing cards because it was very likely that Emmett's marks would cover any other scratches or dings that were currently in the table, but I held my tongue and allowed Bella to follow her ritual.

It took Bella an hour before she had completed all her homework; I had mine done in ten minutes, but I made it appear longer by reading ahead in my books. When she had finished her work, Esme called her into the kitchen for supper, and while she ate, Emmett set the table up for cards. Bella always displayed her sense of obligation by staying to help Esme with the dishes; she would never leave until the last dish, pot, and pan was dried and put away. What she failed to realize was that if she would allow Esme to do it on her own, it would take one-tenth the time as when Bella helped, but Esme forbade anyone from mentioning that to Bella.

That evening, after she had finished her kitchen obligation, Bella was to receive her first lesson in card playing 'a la Cullens' style. To say Emmett cheated was an understatement, but then he cheated because everyone else did also. Jasper's form of cheating revolved around his gift. He could sense other's emotions, and Emmett always became excited when he had a good hand. For the most part, I knew what decision everyone would make before they made it and those decisions and the way the person made them, helped me determine what type of hand each player held. Edward, of course, had his mind reading ability to help him. Emmett, for his part, dealt from the bottom of the deck when it was his turn to deal, and sometimes from the middle of the deck if he thought it would serve his purpose. In addition, he had spent a week in Las Vegas a few years ago, learning from a master how to stack the deck. One rule that we strictly enforced while playing any card game was that Emmett could not stack the deck, and if caught, he immediately lost, and as I said, Emmett did not like losing.

In addition to cheating, we all threw in obscure rules of play for each hand. One the Emmett's favorites was that before making a third bet, you had to kiss the person who sat to your left. As a result, we generally interspaced ourselves so we always kissed someone of the opposite sex. The intensity of the kiss, he declared, was at the discretion of the one doing the kissing. Emmett had this strange affinity for kissing girls, and in this manner, he could kiss other girls without Rose becoming upset. Rose, however, generally countermanded Emmett's plans by sitting to his left. On this particular evening, however, Rose chose not to join the game, and Edward was predictably absent from the house as usual.

As Bella walked out of the kitchen, Emmett already had everything prepared around the table. Before Bella sat down, Jasper joined us. He calmly walked up the Bella and said, "Hello, I'm glad you could spend some time with us." He held out his hand to her, but as she reached out to shake his hand, he completely surprised me by kissing her hand instead of shaking it. "I want to thank you Bella, because of you I'm no longer the current back slider in the family."

Bella just looked at him in wonder, not responding in anyway.

"What he means, Bella, is that Edward is now the family member who has recently partaken of human blood. Usually Jasper holds that stigma, but your presence has freed him from it temporarily," Emmett chortled.

Looking around at all of us, Bella confessed, "I don't understand what you mean."

"Bella, honey," I began, "Jasper has the hardest time staying with a diet of animal blood. You see, before I met him, he lived strictly on human blood. It was all he knew, but after becoming part of this family, he learned that we could subsist on animal blood as well. He tries to adhere to that diet, but sometimes he slips . . ."

"He slips a lot," Emmett muttered under his breath forcing me to glare at him.

"He really does try Bella," I assured her, "And it's not like he is any threat to you, I can promise you that." I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or unsafe while in my home.

Bella took my hands and said, "Alice, I'm not afraid of Jasper. He has always been polite and cordial to me, not like some others. I trust Jasper, and I trust you. I know you'll keep me as safe as you can while I'm here."

Emmett laughed again as he asked, "What do you mean 'as safe as she can?' Don't you think Alice can save you from the big bad vampires?"

Bella released my hands, turned, and smiled at Emmett, "You don't scare me either Emmett. I know you're bark is worse than your bi . . . no, I'm sorry I didn't mean that." Her face revealed that she was flustered. "Let me try again, I know you like to tease and joke with people, and sometimes you say things to make them think you are more threatening than you really are."

"Believe me Bella, I can be just as furious as I need to be when the occasion arises." Emmett replied in a more serious tone.

"You can also be a big teddy bear when you want to be," she added. "To answer your original questions, I meant that I know I'm safe from all of you, but that I'm not always safe from myself. Even here, I still have accidents because that is just how my life has always been, so Alice maybe able to keep me safe from all of you, but she might find it hard to keep me safe from myself." Then she turned to Jasper and added, "I'm glad I'm able to help you Jasper. If Edward continues his visits, you may be able to avoid taking that title back for awhile."

Her last comment stunned us all. I knew Edward had taken some of her blood, but I had thought it had only been once. I hadn't been watching him for any repeat offenses against Bella. Jasper asked the question we all wanted to ask. "He is visiting you Bella? When and where?"

"In the middle of the night at my house," she said as she looked around at all of us and then finally asked, "You don't know about this, do you?"

"No," Emmett answered. "How often does he take your blood, and does he bite you at all?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean to cause any problems," her face reflected her worry and concern.

"Bella, it's not a problem for us, but it could be a problem for you," I told her.

Bella trembled lightly, and sat down in the nearest chair. "I am causing problems." I could tell she was near tears, I could see it in her expressive eyes. "Maybe I should go home," she murmured softly.

I knelt down beside her, "Bella, you are not causing any problems. If anyone causes a problem, it will be Edward. We are concerned about your welfare Bella," and I motioned at Jasper and Emmett who were both standing beside me at that point, and as Bella looked up at them, they both nodded their heads in agreement with my words. "Bella, if Edward isn't careful, he can poison your blood. Besides, he assured us he had his thirst under control. What we need to know if how often does he drink your blood, and does he bite you."

She looked around at all of us again, took a deep breath, and said, "He did not bite me. I believe he cut me somewhere on the back of my neck. He never used his teeth and I never felt his mouth on the cut," she kept her gaze on all of us as she spoke. "He stayed away the first month, but then he came into my room three weeks ago. I think he was trying to stay away, but something drew him back."

"It's your blood Bella," Jasper informed her. "Your blood is a magnet to him; it tempts him more than any other human's blood. He needs to fight it, or he could harm you."

"Harm me how?" She asked with apprehension in her eyes.

"If his venom, even a little, where to enter you blood stream, it would begin to poison your blood, and eventually, if enough entered your system, you would either change – become one of us – or die," Emmett explained calmly so as not to frighten her, but I could see it didn't work because of his last truthful word.

Hesitantly, she asked, "Die . . . why would . . . I . . . die?"

"If you system did not receive enough venom to change you, then the venom would kill you. It just works that way," Jasper replied softly, and I could feel his soothing calmness rippling through the room.

"Bella, I won't let anything or anyone harm you, and that includes Edward. If it becomes necessary, Carlisle will have a serious talk with that boy, but you have to promise to tell me the next time he pays you a nightly visit," I assured her.

Bella took another deep breath, and then said, "I trust you Alice. You'll keep me safe." It was a very bold declaration of her faith in me, and I was determined to not to fail her even if it meant challenging Edward. I knew her calmness came from Jasper at that moment, but her trust was all her own. It was the first time I saw Bella's loyalty, something I would see often in the future. Once Bella put her faith in you, she remained stanchly loyal to you as well. Bella was one of those people who made the best lifelong friends; their friendship was everlasting, and I was determined not only to protect her at all costs, but I was determined never to lose her friendship even if it meant I would have to take steps to change her.

"Maybe we should save the cards for tomorrow," I commented. "Maybe we could watch television instead."

"That might be a good idea," Jasper agreed.

"Yeah," Emmett added. "Maybe there's a good western on," he said as he walked toward the living room.

Bella surprised me by admitting she liked westerns, and with a blush, she added 'especially if the main actors were good looking.' At least Bella was normal in that sense, and because of her admission, we joined the boys and watched, The Adventures of Jim Bowey.

On Saturday, Bella and I discussed clothes, make-up, and hair. I had to admit, her fashion sense was not the best, and I had never seen her wear make-up. As for her hair, it hung in silky thick waves, but she always wore in a ponytail. She never put it up or styled it and my curiosity forced me to discuss this with her as well as why she dressed and avoided make-up as she did.

Her answer to my inquiry was simple, "I lack the coordination to apply make-up properly, and my hair is always wet in the morning so it is simpler to bind it in a ponytail. As for clothes, they're just clothes, so I wear what's available."

"Pathetic Bella, we need to work on your fashion and styling sense. There are things you could do, that would make you just as beautiful as Rose." I informed her seriously.

She just laughed. "You'll never make this sows ear into a silk purse Alice. It is beyond even my imagination to envision such a possibility."

"We'll just see about that," I countered happily. I loved a challenge, especially a fashion challenge, and Bella had just offered me the most exciting one of all – in my opinion – and I never turned down a first-rate test of my abilities. "Let's begin with make-up," I proposed.

"Make-up," Bella moaned, "You're trying to kill me with powders and creams."

I laughed at her martyred expression. "A little color never killed anyone Bella. Besides, you might find that a new look will attract some special eyes your way."

"And why would anyone look at me just because my look changed?" Bella asked disparagingly.

"Bella, how old are you?" I realized she needed to see her age as a deficiency for attracting Edward, but I wouldn't use his name. Her feelings were obvious to me from the very beginning, but Edwards feeling had only just begun to grow for her, but I also knew he didn't recognized the difference between his desire for her blood and his desire for her and he would consider her too young for any romantic notions.

"I'm 15. You can't be much older than that." She commented.

I chuckled as I replied, "Actually Bella, I'm 47 years old," and then watched the shock on her face.

"I forgot, you are all probably older than what you look," Bella replied with a slight blush coloring her checks. Her natural blush gave her more color, so I knew adding a blush to her checks would enhance her looks, but I won't choose a red color. She needed something more subtle with only a hint of color to it.

"I think it's time to begin experimenting with color, and then we really need to do something with your hair." I looked at her thoughtfully and finally asked, "Have you ever considered having it bobbed?" I laughed as I watched shock then fear cross her face, and then relieved her fears by adding, "I'm joking Bella."

In something almost less than a whisper, she said, "My dad would kill me if I cut my hair, and he would ban you from my life if he knew you were the one who convinced me to cut it."

I was learning that Bella's father had a strong influence on her life, but instead of influencing her through his love for her, he was doing it through his over-protectiveness and overbearing personality. Not that he didn't love his daughter because I knew he did, it was just that he wanted what he thought was best and safest for her without considering what she wanted or needed in her life. He couldn't protect her forever, but if it was up to him, he'd keep her at home and never let her leave his house.

"I would never do anything Bella that would ruin our friendship because you and I are going to be best friends for a very long time." I knew that was true because I had seen it numerous times although the circumstances around her change had continually shifted. "Now, let's discuss colors," I added cheerfully.

We ended up spending the rest of the morning discussing and trying out colors, and then in the afternoon we went shopping. I made sure we bought Bella three outfits that would begin to a change to her wardrobe. I chose outfits that would give her a more mature look; the makeup and accessories that I chose complimented both the outfits and Bella herself. After finishing our shopping, we returned home and put together a new look for Bella while I also explained to her the rules of card playing with Emmett – I made sure to emphasize the issue of added and altered rules to occurred often while playing cards in the Cullen household. After finishing her new look, we revealed it at the dining room table after Bella ate dinner that Esme happily provided.

"Wow, Bella, nice look. Maybe Edward will . . ."

"Emmett, don't go there," I warned softly enough that Bella wouldn't hear.

"You really do look nice Bella," Jasper commented as he stood up when Bella and I entered the room.

"Thanks Jasper, thanks Emmett, but I don't think Edward will ever see anything but my blood," Bella said shyly.

"Let's play cards," I directed so I could pull Bella's mind off Emmett's comment about Edward.

Emmett held Bella's chair while she sat down, and then as he took his place to her right, he said, "To make things easier on you, Bella, we decided to play for something other than money."

"What will we be playing for?" Bella inquired, but I sensed Emmett had something devious planned because of the sly smile on his face.

"We're play for articles of clothing," Emmett chortled.

Bella stared blankly at him, so he playfully explained, "Strip poker Bella, if you lose you take some article of clothing off."

Bella turned a deep scarlet and Jasper instantly held his breath because of her heightened scent.

I reached across the table for Bella's hand because she took on a panicked look, and I saw a touch of fear in her eyes, but then Emmett chuckled louder as he added, "Relax Bella, I was just joking."

Bella pulled her hands off the table before I could reach them, looked around the table at each of us as her blush slowly waned, took a deep breath, and then focused directly on Emmett while a serious look settled on her features as she asked, "Do you often play strip poker?"

Emmett paused before answering and while she waited, Bella looked at Jasper and I; I could see she was looking for the truth, so I nodded at Emmett. Emmett saw me out of the corner of his eye while still watching Bella, and then with a huge grin on his face, he said, "Yes, occasionally we do. It can get very revealing at times."

Bella blushed again, turning redder than I thought possible, but her replied surprised me. "I'll play, but I want to take one trip upstairs first." She might have been blushing, but a very determined look materialized on her face.

Jasper replied by laughing heartily, and I looked forward to the end of the game, smiled, and said, "If she wants to play, and I know Jasper is willing to do this, then Emmett, let her go upstairs and we'll play."

Emmett smiled at Bella and said, "You've more chutzpah than I thought possible." Then he laughed outright as he declared, "You're going to make a great sister. Go upstairs, but don't take too long."

I was not sure if Emmett realized what she had planned, but I remained silent as I watched Bella stand up and exit the room. When she was out of hearing range, Emmett said, "I think it would be best if we didn't share any of this with Edward."

"Then you had better keep your thoughts to yourself," Jasper teased.

This, I knew, was going to become a very interesting evening.

* * *

_NOTE – Sorry this took a little longer than expected, I am currently on vacations. I was fortunate to be able to attend the Twilight Symposium in Forks, WA, and while there I had the privilege to met both Pel and Alphie. I am working on the next chapter, but it is going slow because of vacation. I'm hoping to complete it the first week after we return home. Thanks for you patience._


	29. Chapter 29 Secrets

**AN: The Cullen or Swan characters belong to Stephenie Meyer who she graciously allows us to borrow; Bella's parents, however, who were not Charlie and Renee, belong to the author of this story.**

**Journal Twenty-Two – Secrets [1958]**

_[2009] I began to endure five days of absolute torture the moment I watched Bella's father drive off with her. Alice was right in the last chapter, I had to cull through my emotions to decide what I would share in writing about those five days, but I hope she does not finish that chapter as to what happened next during their night of shameless, depraved frivolity._

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[1958]

I stealthily watched as Bella's father packed the car and then ushered his family into the car, before finally driving away. His thoughts focused on one main achievement, he had successfully separated Bella from me even if it was only temporary. He hoped this separation would prove to her that she could move on without me; I was hoping she would realize she would be as miserable as I already felt if I were not in her life.

As I reflected back on those five extensively lengthy days, I have to confess that 'Edward' of New Moon preformed a Herculean feat by staying away from Bella as long as he did. I, on the other hand, had not his strength. If one more day had been required for Bella to stay away, I would have traversed the distance between us and crept through the bedroom window to be near her even if for only an hour or two. As it was, we talked on the phone almost every day while she was gone. The first day, however, I wasn't sure if I would hear her dulcet voice because her father answered the phone and claimed she wasn't available before promptly hanging up on me. Bella informed me that it took her over an hour to finally slip away from the house and call me from a nearby pay phone.

After that incident, we arranged a calling time and alternated the days we called each other. Thursday's call was the hardest for her because of all the extra people who attended the Thanksgiving dinner. She finally used the excuse that she needed to walk off the meal and left her cousin's house so she could call me.

Friday was my turn to call, and Bella's mother answered the call. Before she called Bella to the phone, she informed me that Bella had begun having nightmares and walking in her sleep. Since telephones do not convey thoughts or facial expressions, I gathered from her tone that she was slightly worried about Bella, and asked if I would reassure her that we would see each other soon. I actually did more than that; I told Bella that I would come to her if she needed me, but she refused my offer and said she could last the two remaining days that we would be apart.

Saturday was torturous; Emmett claimed I was more ill tempered than even the grizzly bear who tried to maul him to death. Jasper spent much time and energy trying to sooth my frazzled emotions, but finally gave me up for a lost cause.

Saturday moved endlessly slow while I awaited Bella's call. After the Thursday delay, we had agreed that we should make our calls in the evenings because it was easier for Bella to slip away from the relatives, and I think her mother began helping to arrange for Bella's absence to make the phone calls as well.

On Saturday, we talked for two hours parting with the promise of seeing each other Sunday night. Bella's father had arranged that they not arrive home until after ten. His intention was to keep us apart as long as possible, and after ten was too late for me to make a social visit, but not late enough to keep me from scaling her wall, entering her bedroom window, and spending the night with her wrapped in my arms.

Early Sunday morning, I heard Jasper calling from the front of the house. "Edward, come look at what Alice has brought home." Alice had said she was going shopping Saturday evening, but she was gone most of the night, and I was surprise she was only now returning home. As far as I knew, there were no all night stores that would cater to her refined taste, and why Jasper thought I would be interested in what she had purchased was beyond me, but to make the two of them happy, I went downstairs and out the front door.

I was no sooner through the door when two arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and Bella's fresh aroma flooded my senses. It was not surprising that I didn't smell her sooner because I had kept two items with me every day that carried her scent. First, she had given me a scarf she had worn for two week allowing her scent to permeate the material, and from the first day she left, I kept it wrapped around my neck, much to Emmett's amusement. In addition, I had on the undershirt she had worn the last few days she had stayed at our house.

"You have two hours and then you must return her to me for two hours, and then she is yours for the rest of the day," Alice announced as she sauntered up the steps, wrapped her arm around Jasper's waist, and disappeared into the house with him.

"How?" I asked as I pulled Bella around so I could embrace her.

Bella chuckled. "Alice told mom that she had a Christmas present she was making for me and that she needed to borrow me for a fitting. Dad was furious, but mom was ecstatic; an argument ensued and mom won. So here I am, and two hours won't be much time, and I want to spend every moment of it with you." She snuggled into my chest.

I tipped her chin up and looked deeply into her eyes. I noticed three things instantly; first, traces of her nightmares and sleepwalking heavily clouded her otherwise bright eyes. Second, I saw the joy she was experiencing being within my embrace, and third, I saw her lovely lips awaiting a welcome home kiss. The third I responded to promptly prolonging the kiss until I knew she needed to breath.

"I have missed you more than I can explain; time has never crawled this slowly before for me," I whispered into her ear as I pulled her closer to my body.

"I hope the next two hours move just as slowly," she whispered into my chest.

I chuckled and then slowly ushered her into the house and up to my room.

As sentimental as this might sound, Bella and I spend the next two hours wrapped in each other arms professing our love, cravings, and indispensable need for each other. Even though I knew every contour of her face, every scar that graced her face, arms, and back, and the feel of every fragile bone in her body that I allowed myself to touch, those memories did not live up to the feel of Bella physically being in my embrace. I poured out all my love for her in those few hours as she poured out hers for me. Up until those precious moments, I had not fully accepted the fact that Bella loved me as much as I loved her, or that her need for me was as great as my need for her. I mistakenly and foolishly had compared Bella to every normal human I had ever met, but Bella was beyond normal – the fact that she loved me and cherished my family were positive proof of her uniqueness. Even if I lived another forty years, I knew I would never find another person as remarkably exceptional as my Bella, and I would make her mine for all eternity, if any doubt had existed before that moment, and no real substantial doubt had, it completely vanished as a result of our four full days of enforced separation.

More than half way into our two hours together, Bella pulled enough away from me so she could look up into my eyes. "Edward," Bella began with a hint of nervousness in her voice, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything Bella," I murmured as I gently rubbed her back as I held her body close to mine.

"Well, I was wondering about something. It has puzzled me for a while now, but I was never sure if I should ask it."

"I will answer any question you ask Bella. I want no secrets between us," I answered. I had decided it was time to take our relationship to the next step of open honesty. I wanted her to know I would never allow her to leave me again; at least not if I could help it.

"No secrets," she murmured softly to herself. I took it as a sign she was gathering her courage to ask the questions she so desired to be answered. "Edward, when we first met, you offered to drive me home, and then showed me around the area, and we ended up at the park. Was that intentional?" She hastily added, "The park I mean." Bella looked at me with expectation.

I promised honestly, so I replied, "Yes, but while we walked back to the car, I had decided I would not bite you or harm you in any way. I fought those feelings, but when your blood started flowing, I became overwhelmed with thirst for it. I could not hold myself back. Of course, I hadn't expected you to pass out either. That shocked me because I didn't know why you fainted, and then when you recovered you refused to forget what actually happened. I should have been able to persuade you that I never tasted your blood; that I had only wrapped the handkerchief around your hand, but you refused to listen to me."

I watched her face for a reaction to what I had said, but instead of any real reaction she asked, "Why didn't you want more of my blood? I offered it freely."

I searched her eyes looking for her reason for these questions, but all I saw in them was curiosity. I could not fathom where the questions were leading or why she was asking them. "Bella, Carlisle has shaped a good life for all of us, but part of that requires that we remain anonymous to humans, which means we abstain from human blood. We all try to live up to Carlisle's standards but when we slip, he does not condemn us, but he also does not condone our error. While I was contemplating the tempting aroma of your blood, Carlisle's face formed in my mind. His look of disappointment and disgust at my intending actions helped me to turn away from my desires. I didn't want to face Carlisle with my transgression but your accident nearly undid my resolve."

"That bad," she offered simply and seriously.

"Bad in that I slipped, but good in the small taste I stole. When you offered me more, shock was only the beginning of what I felt. How you could risk your life in such a manner was beyond me. What if I had drained you? Did you consider the fact that you might have died?"

She was still starring up at me, and a small smile played upon her lips. "To your second question, the answer is no, I never considered that, and as for the first, I trusted you and knew you would never have gone that far." She reached up and traced my lips lovingly with her finger.

"You didn't know me, how could you trust me?" I asked, surprised that she could have felt that way about a complete stranger.

"If we are being honest, Edward, then I must confess that the first time I saw you I felt as if I had known you all my life. I felt more drawn to you then I have ever felt drawn to anybody. What I still don't understand is if my blood was that tempting, why did you wait an entire month before coming into my room for more?" Her finger continued to trace the contours of my face causing small tingling surges to pulsate throughout my being.

"I never intended to approach you in that manner after that first incident, but that was the day we had co-ed gym again, and your proximity was more than I could bear. I thought if I took one last taste, then I would be able to resist you in the future, but that second taste only made it worse." I reached up and captured her hand with mine, and then kissed the finger that had been electrifying my body in a pleasant yet disturbing manner before releasing it.

"Yet, your visits came with wider gaps between them until you stopped all together, so I guess it must have become easier," she said with some regret in her voice.

"No, not easier but harder, the more I stayed away, the more I wanted to return. It was an ongoing struggle, and I talked to Carlisle frequently about what I felt and the intensive draw you had on me. He encouraged me to fight the draw, but said he would understand if the temptation overtook me completely. I saw the sorrow in his eyes as he said that, and I resolved to try harder to resist you."

"Poor Edward," she reached up and caressed my face. I saw my pain reflected in her eyes revealing her empathy with my trials. "My existence was a curse on you."

"Well, I must admit, it didn't make it any easier when Alice began to invite you over, and then that first night she had you sleep over was pure torture. There you were, in my house, near enough to reach out and touch you, yet I had to fight every instinct in me that told me just to gratify myself and satiate my thirst with your lusciously delightful blood."

"So, you spent all that time avoiding me so you wouldn't drink my blood, yet on my sixteenth birthday you not only attended that surprise party Alice forced upon me," I chuckled softly at that comment, "but also allowed yourself to stand in a confined closet with me. Why?" Her lovely face reflected the curiosity she felt about the event and my reasons behind my actions.

I had struggled with that question many times that evening, but the answer had been extremely simple. "Because what I hadn't realized, you precious thing, was that while I was valiantly struggling to resist your blood, I was also falling in love with you – but I wouldn't admit that to myself or anyone else until later that evening when I thought you hated me for kissing you." I leaned over and gently kissed her forehead.

"I didn't hate you Edward, but we went through all of that later that evening. As I said, my feelings for you began the first moment I set eyes on you. You should know that I spent that entire first year convincing myself that I needed to disappear from your life to make things easier for you, but my heart wouldn't allow that. Every time I came up with a plan to leave, my heart made its presence known with a searing pain over the loss of you. I finally decided I would have to quietly pine away for you while you nonchalantly ignored me." As she spoke, her pain was not only evident in her voice but I also noticed a sadness encompass her face as she talked about trying to leave me, and the pain of that idea was reflected in her expressive chocolate eyes.

Looking so deeply into her pain caused a corresponding intense ache within me as well, it was an anguish I wanted personally to remove from her in any way possible.

"Edward," she looked away from me as she asked her next question, "Do you ever regret driving me home that first day?"

I tipped her chin up and turned her head so I could watch her expressive eyes. "No Bella that was the most superbly appropriate decision I ever made. I would never change that event in any way because if I did it would mean I would have lost you forever. You are the most cherished person in my life, and I will not lose you – ever."

She had fixed her eyes on mine the entire time I spoke, and she must have been able to distinguish the truth in my words, for she replied in a hushed whisper, "I never want to be parted from you either. You are my only reason for existing now, and without you, my world would disappear, but you have to understand that, for me, it is hard to believe you could want anyone who is so mundane and accident-prone while you are the quintessence of every girl's dreams."

I could not help the laugh that escaped as I asked, "Every girl dreams of being in the arms of a vampire who finds her blood more alluring than that of any human on the planet earth?" I hugged her closer to me as I added, "Besides, you are not ordinary, if anything you are extraordinary. You never think like other humans, you never react like other humans, and you definitely do not smell like other humans."

Bella slapped my arm softly and playfully as she retorted, "See, everything about our relationship comes back to how tempting I smell to you."

"If you only knew, Bella, you're entire body smells tempting to me, and I do not refer to your blood only," I whispered into her hair, and then began a methodical placement of kisses beginning with the top of her head, working down to her ear and ear lobe, and around to her face and lips.

Alice rudely interrupted us when I reached her neck. With her lilting musical voice she chimed, "It's my turn, but I promise to have her back in two hours."

"Can I watch?" I asked thoughtlessly.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Alice said aloud, and added wordlessly, 'Unless Bella doesn't mind you seeing you in her underclothing.'

"I'll wait outside then," I murmured dejectedly, but also a bit embarrassed that I didn't realize what it would entail for Alice to do a fitting. I walked with Bella, my arm snuggly wrapped around her shoulder, to Alice's bedroom door.

I planned to wait patiently as Alice spent the time with Bella designing a dress for her. From Alice's thoughts, I knew she meant it as a Christmas gift, but as Alice asked Bella to undress, I heard her respond, "No Alice, there has to be some other way."

"Come on Bella, you don't need to be embarrassed around me, and I promise not to form any mental pictures that Edward might see," Alice commented softly.

"I can't Alice," Bella whispered with a touch of panic in her tone.

"Edward," Alice addressed me, "Please go to your room." She was sending me away because of something she saw in Bella's face, but she was keeping the image of it from me.

My first reaction led me to move toward the door; I intended to enter the room to discover what caused so much dread in Bella's voice.

"Please Edward, do as I ask," Alice said, this time there was a touch of authority in her voice. Even as I hesitated, I heard Alice silently saying, 'Don't push this, it wouldn't be good for Bella.'

Grudgingly, I trudged up the stairs to my room, but I listened as Bella continued to argue with Alice about removing all of her clothes. Something didn't seem right about her shyness in front of Alice, and my mind began developing possible reasons why Bella would not want Alice to see her sans outer clothing. My finally conclusion revolved around the possible scars that Bella might try to hide from Alice; although why she thought she needed to hide them was a mystery.

Alice and Bella agreed on a solution when Alice offered her a leotard to wear, and that seemed to calm Bella's fears of undressing for Alice. I resolved to discover what Bella feared Alice would see, but I would have to find a way to do it without upsetting Bella, and I would need patience so I didn't push Bella into revealing any secret that might hurt or embarrass her.

Alice correctly stated the time it would take her to finish with Bella's fitting. I tried to obtain a mental image of the dress Alice intended to design, but she kept altering the plans for it, and she toyed with a variety of different colors until I finally but wordlessly suggested that blue best complemented Bella natural colors.

When Alice finally freed Bella, I awaited her return in my room. I felt she needed a little cooling off time from what she deemed 'Alice's ministrations of torture.' I chuckled when I heard her tell that to Alice, and her words warned me that she need a little 'alone' time. As I lounged on the bed with my hands behind my head, I scanned Alice's mind about her intentions for this particular dress, but she had her thoughts completely focused in design ideas and alterations to the design that she had seen in a fashion boutique and a designer magazine. When Bella finally opened the bedroom door, she was chewing on her bottom lip in a worried fashion. Before she could close the door, I had crossed the room and gently but swiftly lifted her into my arms and carried her to the bed.

"I missed you," I whispered as I laid her down and then joined her with my arms safely wrapped around her warm soft form.

"And I missed you," she replied as she hid her face in my chest, wrapped her arms around me, and drew herself as close to my body as humanly possible.

My chin now rested upon the top of her head and her scent filled my senses. "We have the rest of the day to do anything we want, but right now I'm enjoying the feel of you in my arms. I could stay this way for the rest of eternity and find nothing but blissful happiness," I murmured softly.

"I really like that idea, Edward, but there is one slight problem," she responded also in soft murmur.

"And just what would that slight problem be?" I chuckled lightly.

She didn't need to respond in words because at that moment her stomach growled causing me to chuckle again.

"Enough said," I commented through my laugh. "You wait right here," I ordered as I swiftly left the bed and raced down stairs. Once I reached the kitchen, I found Esme had already prepared a light lunch and had it waiting on the kitchen counter. "Thanks mom," I said softly knowing she would be able to hear me in her study.

"You're very welcome, and tell Bella 'welcome home' for me," she softly replied.

I returned to my bedroom as quickly as I had left it, and I found Bella sitting cross-legged on the bed in deep thought. Even though I quietly entered the room, the fact that she looked up and caught my gaze with her eyes as soon as I entered surprised me.

Before I could say anything, Bella said, "Edward, do you remember what you said before Alice pulled me into her torture chamber?"

It surprised me that she could still inject humor in what I knew she meant as a serious question. "I said a lot of things before then, which one in particular did you have in mind?"

"The one about no secrets," she replied softly.

"Yes, I remember," I wondered if she thought I had a secret she wanted shared or if she was referring to herself.

"Well, there is something I need to tell you," she had lowered her eyes while speaking.

"First eat, Bella, and then tell me what is bothering you." I could tell it was something weighing on her mind, but if she didn't eat first, I knew she would probably not eat at all. I had noticed over time that, when she felt deeply troubled by something, the minute she began talking about it she put aside all her other needs and concerns even hunger. I had witnessed her skip a few meals because of just such actions on her part, and I would not let her miss this one especially as I heard her stomach rumbling again.

I laid the tray on her lap, took her hand, and said, "Whatever you want to tell me will keep until after you have eaten," and then I kissed the palm of her hand and her wrist before releasing her hand and quickly taking a seat across from her on the bed.

"I don't . . ." she began but I promptly cut her off.

"Eat first, talk second," and then looking deeply into her eyes, I pleaded, "Please Bella, for me."

She simply nodded and began eating. As she ate, I contemplated her. Bella had take on so many important roles in my existence, and she had triggered and stirred up more emotions in me than I ever realized existed. I had never really felt envy or jealousy before her. I had everything I could ever want, or so I had thought, but her meteoric entrance into my life change everything about me. Before her, love, tenderness, care, concern, desire, and lust were unknown emotions while want and need had very different meanings in my existence. After meeting Bella, my emotions had taken wing and soared to life from deep within me, and my reason for existing totally altered. No longer was self-survival my priority; Bella's survival took dominance even if it meant saving her from my blood thirst.

Carlisle had once told me that we never changed unless some enhanced emotion overwhelmed our existence; my love for Bella inundated every particle of my being and utterly altered me. As I sat quietly on the bed and watched her, I knew my heart might be dead, but my emotions were very much alive and making their existence known. Her beauty flooded my vision, her scent stimulated vibrations within me, and her nearness encouraged my nerves to quiver delightfully.

When Bella looked up, she saw I was staring at her and she blushed. Her blush colored my world with amazing shades of pink, red, and burgundy. Right then, she reminded me of a fine wine ripe for serving, but I didn't want to drink deeply of her blood but of her lips, which instantly took on the appearance of plump red cherries.

She must have seen something in my gaze, for she asked, "Edward, I don't scare easily, but right now I feel like a doe gazing into the eyes of a hungry mountain lion."

"Hungry, yes, but not that kind of hunger; more like the hunger of a man for a woman," I replied softly without moving one inch toward her or away from her.

"Oh," she breathed, "Maybe two years will be too long . . ." she trailed off as she fell deeper into my gaze, and I into hers. Forgotten was her lunch as she slowly leaned toward me and I instantly felt a magnetic pull toward her. We both leaned forward meeting half way and locking our lips together in a brief moment of raw passion. For an even briefer moment, my tongue flicked out and licked her bottom lip, and then we both quickly pulled away.

It took Bella only a moment to recover, and then she was saying, "I really have to tell you something Edward. I don't want to keep secrets from you, especially this one, but you have to let me get it all out without interrupting." She paused as she looked to me for a response; I simple nodded in agreement wondering what could be so disturbing that it caused her eyes to cloud over in fear.

Before speaking, Bella methodically cleaned up her tray and set in on the bedside table, then sat up straight facing me as she took a deep breath and began, "When I was six years old, my father took us camping in the woods in New England. While my parents were setting up camp, I wondered off to look at what was around the campsite and became lost. Realizing I would not be able to find my way back to my parents, I started crying. I'm not sure how long I just stood and cried, or how long I had been gone from the camp, but without hearing anyone approach me, a man laid his hand on my shoulder and asked what the trouble was. Through my sobs, I told him my tale of misadventure causing him to chuckle. He then told me everything would be alright."

Bella pause fleetingly in thought – it was another of those moments when I hungered to hear exactly what she was thinking.

She took another deep breath before continuing. "He assured me everything would be fine and that he would make sure I found my parents. Then he lifted me up on a fallen tree. It had fallen in such a manner that it leaned against a few other trees and was high enough that my feet could not touch the ground. He then knelt down in front of me all the time murmuring softly that everything would be all right and that I had nothing to fear. He placed his hands on my knees, slowly moved them apart, and then very slowly pushed my skirt up my legs. He continued to reassure me that I had nothing to fear." Bella stopped again as she stared off at some point on the wall behind me.

My mind was already playing out her encounter in the woods, and my temper had reached a breaking point. She had been through so much in her life that this violation was something I had never dreamt would touch her. I wanted to find this man and rip him to shreds slowly and painfully before burying his remains, but before I could utter a word, Bella refocused her gaze on me, reached out and placed a finger on my lips while softly murmuring, "Edward, calm down and let me finish. I need to share this secret with you."

Her powerful gaze just held me in place, and I wondered once more if I would ever be able to resist her.

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Special thanks to those who reviewed the last few chapters and helped push the reviews past 100.

The Daylighter, Viper003, Noble Korhedron, graciousplum [who was actually the 100th reviewer], and candyalice.

Without review, I'm not sure if this story would be continued – so a big thank you to those of you who really take the time to post a review.


	30. Chapter 30 Stripping Can Be Deceiving

**AN: Ownership of all the characters in this chapter belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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Chapter 9– Stripping Can Be Deceiving (by Emmett Cullen) [1957]**

_[2009] Shameless, depraved frivolity indeed; Edward just does not want to admit that it was the first time he saw Bella as something other than a tasty tempting meal. Something else Edward should finally know – he made the comment in an earlier chapter that he blames Emmett for corrupting Bella, but that was in reference to her current daredevil tendencies. The truth of the matter is that Emmett has been 'tainting' Bella since the first day they met, but Bella always had a choice; she could have said no to the strip poker game. Truthfully, I don't think Emmett really corrupted Bella, I think he just helped her come out of her shell; so Edward really needs to thank Emmett for helping Bella achieve her full potential as person even thought it meant she began to take more risks. Look on the bright side, Edward, dating a vampire is the biggest and best risk Bella ever took in her entire human life, and if she hadn't, you wouldn't have a soul mate._

_Okay, enough side commentaries, back to the poker game, and I have agreed to allow Emmett to finish the details for this chapter – Alice_

_[2009] Okay, I resent the comment that I 'tainted' Bella for I did no such thing. The problem with Edward is that he never wanted to admit that Bella had a dark – albeit innovative – devious side, which she revealed for the first time that evening at the poker game. In addition, Bella enjoyed taking risks, and I believe that tied into the fact that her father was extremely domineering – to protect her, he forbade her from doing anything that might cause her harm, and of course that meant avoiding anything that might be fun. I just wanted to clarify all of that so readers don't paint me as the defiler of what they assume was a completely naive and innocent Bella. She was always much wiser than Edward ever gave her credit for, and although she was innocent in some ways, she could be fiendishly clever in others. So Alice is correct, I only helped Bella come out of her shell, and when she did, it was one glorious sight for me, and it gave me a little sister who knew how to have as much fun as I did._

_Okay, I put in my two cents worth, so now, back to the poker game. – Emmett_

**[1957]**

Alice shared some about her first meeting with Bella, so I'll do likewise. If it hadn't been for Edward's little escapade in the park, I might never have really noticed Bella. She was a shy, introverted little thing, in my opinion – not worth my attention. It wasn't until Alice took a shine to her that I stopped and really looked at her. From my perspective, she was shy and slightly introverted – at that time, and she was also easily frightened, or so I thought, extremely young, and rather plain looking.

When Alice informed us of her plans to befriend Bella, I just laughed. I figured she would frighten the little human off and we would never see her again. Rose, on the other hand, fumed over Alice's plan; she didn't want a human befriending any of us. In defense of Rose, I have to say accepting her vampirism has been hard on her, but if Carlisle had never changed her, then I would never have met her, and for me, that would have been a great loss in my life.

Because of Alice's plan, I carefully watched Bella during lunch knowing Alice was attempting to convince her to sit with us, and I was waiting for her to rebuke Alice firmly. I will admit that I was against the idea of her joining us at first, partly because Edward was so opposed to the idea. I thought I should support his decision to keep some safe distance between the two of them. Alice had other ideas, and whenever possible, she would present positive reasons why I should support her plan of not only befriending Bella but also actively socializing with her. At first, I stood my ground with my brother; however, Alice presented some convincing facts. First, she claimed keeping Bella close to us would secure her secrecy about what we were, and second, she presented the idea that Edward felt something more for Bella than just blood lust.

Jasper, on the other hand, accepted Alice's plan but only because it was what she wanted, and it would make her happy. Alice has Jasper wound around her little finger, and in his book, she can do no wrong. Therefore, even though Jasper and I wouldn't deny Alice her try at making friends, Rose and Edward were not pleased. Edward made it extremely obvious that if she came around, he would leave. In my book, he made it too obvious, and I started wondering what he was hiding from all of us.

Even though I didn't believe Alice's claims about Edward's feelings at first, I began watching not only Bella but also Edward – Edward because of his overly negative remarks at leaving the house any time Bella came around. I watched as the two of them kept looking at each other from across the room, but they only looked when the other wasn't looking. I also noticed that Bella blushed anytime Edward caught her looking. Of course, she also blushed when she noticed Edward was staring at her, and he seemed to stare at her a lot – more than he ever did at any other girl. By the third week of watching the two of them at lunch, I had to agree with Alice that there were feeling between the two of them.

I cornered Edward one day and bluntly asked, "Do you like that human for more than her blood?"

He hedged the question by saying, "What human?"

I laughed, "The one you stare at every day across the lunch room, and don't try to deny it, I've been watching you."

"It's just her blood," he began but I scowled at him in disbelief causing him to add quickly, "And the fact that I still cannot hear what she is thinking."

"A mystery woman, than," I snorted.

"Hardly a woman, Emmett, she's just a child, no more than a freshman. Much too young for me," he stated bluntly.

"She'll age and you won't, so give her time – I bet she grows on you. In the meantime, I'll try to keep the wolves at bay," I joked laughingly, but Edward only frowned, so I added, "You must know that half the male population is chomping at the bit to go out with her."

"I hadn't noticed," Edward mumbled, but from the look in his eyes, I could tell he was lying.

From that point on, it didn't take much for Alice to persuade me to be nice to Bella and accept her when she became Alice's best friend.

When Alice finally coaxed Bella into joining us at our lunch table, I took some time to look her over more closely. I did admit to myself that her blood did smell better than most of the other humans who risked their health sitting with us, but other than that, I saw nothing special about her. She didn't talk much at first, and she retained that shyness that I had first noted, although I had to admit she did have the courage to sit with us knowing what she knew about us.

I found pleasure in watching Bella finally agreed to join us at our lunch table, and I carefully watched as he Edward rudely got up and left the table while Bella's face reflected the hurt she felt at his actions. I had never seen Edward being purposefully discourteous to anyone before, so I was glad when Alice openly invited Bella to come over to our house, and then carried that even further by asking her to spend the night.

I was even more surprised and pleased by Bella when she finally agreed not only to come over to our house, but also to spend the night with Alice. At that point, I admitted that she had more courage than I had given her credit for, but I reserved the right to wait until I saw how she reacted to us within our home before deciding whether I personally liked her.

At first, Alice's sleep over idea surprised me since none of us slept. I wondered how that concept would work, but Alice had worked at all her plans ahead of time and had Esme make up a spare bedroom so Bella would have an actual place to sleep.

From her conversation at lunch, I had already discovered that Bella was not as insipid as I had first thought, and her shyness was just that. Once she felt more comfortable around Alice, she became more animated, and I decided I wanted her to feel and act that way around me as well. As that first lunch progressed, I decided I wanted Bella to be my friend as well. As a result, that afternoon after school, I waited for their arrival in the living room because I wanted to be the first member of the family to welcome Bella to our home.

I heard them as they were coming up the drive and Bella was already asking questions."How do your parents feel about me spending the night?"

I laughed at that question. Esme was thrilled with the idea, and she decorated the spare room with pride so she could make it a special place just for Bella. Alice had it correct when she said Esme was delighted about the chance to cook, and she was incorrect about Rose not liking any one but me. Rose did like Esme, she embraced her as her mother, and she always went to Esme first when she needed someone to talk to besides me. Rose liked Alice as well, but their relationship did become somewhat antagonistic at times. Alice loved to shop and felt she should buy clothing for everyone, but Rose felt it was her duty to purchase my clothing and she enjoyed choosing her own wardrobe. Rose even like Carlisle, although she still held it against him that he changed her, but she was also grateful to him that he changed me. Edward was the one person she felt somewhat indifferent to; not because she didn't like him, but because he didn't find her beautiful in the same way other men did. To Edward, she was a sister and nothing else, for which I was extremely grateful. I didn't like competition when it came to Rose.

I like what Alice told Bella about me. I did think she would make a good addition to the family, and it would be even nicer if Edward would admit how he felt about her. I didn't think she would mind his attention when he finally realized how he felt about her. I wasn't calling it love yet, I was reserving judgment on that until I watched him around her a little more.

As Alice parked the car, I heard her tell Bella, "Come one Bella, we'll ignore everyone else if we have to because I want you to have a good time."

I was not going to allow them to ignore me, so rushed over to the door, open it, and said, "Welcome, I'm glad you finally agreed to enter the vampire den, and I promise not to bite."

I enjoyed Bella's laugh as she replied, "Thanks Emmett, I hope I don't do anything to embarrass you or myself."

I could not help but chuckle as I said, "Don't worry, Bella, it takes a lot to embarrass me." Then, just for fun, I added, "Just be careful not to bleed on the floor."

I decided to allow Alice her time with Bella, so I went upstairs after welcoming Bella to our house, but I laughed softly as she I heard her tell Alice, "I like him," and to that I concurred because I liked her also.

That was my first impressions of Bella, and by the time she spent her first weekend with us, I had discovered she was an extremely outgoing person once she felt more comfortable with the people around her. I definitely discovered that I liked Bella even though she was a human.

The night of the poker game, I also learned a few more things about Bella that I hadn't known before.

When she asked us to excuse her so she could go upstairs, I thought it was because of her being human and needing to do one of those human things. As she came down the stairs, I saw a wide grin on her face, but thought nothing of it.

As she sat down at the table, she said, "So, Alice tells me that you make up rules as you play."

I laughed as I replied, "Generally, the rules are made up before we play, and than none can be changed or added as we play," I clarified.

"Okay, so for this game, what exactly are the rules?"

I felt she was being a very good sport about this and wondered how she would feel if she had to take off more clothes than she felt comfortable with. I wasn't about to tell her yet that we never played down to the last stitch of clothing, and I had a feeling that Alice had not mentioned that fact either. I decided to make the rules for this game simple for her benefit.

"Rule one," I began, "When you lose a hand you remove something you are wearing, but you don't lose if you fold your hand before the end. Rule two, if you fold after the deal, the person on your right gets to kiss you otherwise you continue with the play by deciding how many cards you want to discard and draw." Bella looked over and saw that Jasper was on her left, but she didn't bother to look at me, but she should have because I was on her right. "Rule three," I continued, "we follow the basic rules of poker as far as hand ranks go."

When I stopped speaking, Bella looked over to me and asked, "Is that it?"

"I thought three rules would be enough to remember for tonight," I laughed. "I wouldn't want you to lose because there were too many complicated rules."

Bella laughed in return and then asked, "Can anyone make a rule before the game starts?"

Alice chimed in, "Yes, do you want to add a rule Bella?" Then Alice snickered giving away the fact that she must have seen this coming.

Bella looked at me first and then at everyone else at the table. "Well," she started, "I do have a question first."

"Ask away," I replied.

"What happens to the clothes that are discarded?"

I had never considered that question before, so I laughingly replied, "We just leave them on the table."

"Okay, then the rule I would like to add is that the winner of a hand also wins back on piece of his or her own clothing that is on the table, but can only retrieve their own and not someone else's." Bella looked around at each of us to see our reaction. Mine was a loud laugh.

"And everyone says I cheat," I guffawed, "But I think that rule is acceptable." I watched as Bella let out a long sigh. I had a feeling she was beginning to regret agreeing to play with us, but she had agreed to play and I wasn't going to let her quit just yet.

Alice placed a card in front of Bella and explained, "These are the hand ranks; it will help you know what is a good hand and what is a bad hand." Alice looked at me as she added, "Since this is the first time you have played poker, I thought it only fair that you know what to keep and what to discard."

Bella smiled as she pushed the card back toward Alice, "That's okay Alice, I know what the hand ranks are," then she looked at all of us again as she added, "I've watched my dad play poker many times, but he would never let me join."

I chortled even louder; Bella was just full of surprises.

It was no surprise to me when Bella lost the first hand even though she had four threes; I still topped her with four tens. What did surprise me was that she stood up, reached under her skirt, and shimmied out of her panties. It was the first piece of clothing she surrendered, and even more surprising was the fact that she didn't blush as she laid it in the middle of the table along with Alice's shoe and Jasper's watch.

The next two hands Bella won, so she surrendered nothing to the grow pile of clothing and other accessories that we wore. As the night progressed, Bella began to lose three out of every four hands, but she seemed to remain fully clothed. The second and third items she forfeited were a hair clip, and then a bracelet. By midnight, she was finally barefoot and about to remove a more substantial item of clothing, but she folded after Jasper dealt her cards.

I had been waiting for that moment, and I was going to show her what a real kiss was like. I figured that way she would be able to compare my kiss to Edward's – when he finally got around to kissing her.

"Pucker up Bella, it's time to pay the piper," I said. Then I leaned over to her, held her face –gently of course – between my two hands, and put my lips on hers. My first reaction was to the warmth of her lips, and my second was how wrong it felt to kiss her. I drew back quickly hearing Alice's chiming laugh while Jasper asked what she was laughing about.

"Go ahead and tell him Emmett," Alice said through her laughing.

I gave Bella a quick look and noticed the shock on her face, and then I turned to Jasper and said, "It was like kissing my kid sister," which caused Jasper to laugh along with Alice. The only ones not laughing were Bella and I.

"You're face said it all," Alice intoned. "That look of horror when you kissed her, I'll treasure that sight forever."

"I'm sorry Bella," I offered as I turned to Bella wanting to make things right with her. I figured she thought I was rejecting her for some other reason and I wanted to reassure her that she had become too much like a sister to me.

Bella blushed slightly before saying, "That's okay Emmett because I felt the same way. Even though I've never had a brother, I think that's how it would have felt if he had tried to kiss me like that." She then looked down before adding, "It was a nice try though."

I could not restrain the laugh that erupted from me as I informed her, "You're a good sport, Bella, and from this moment on I'm proclaiming you my little sister."

Bella smiled shyly, and then looked over to Alice, "Is that a good thing?" She asked.

"Very good Bella, it now means that Emmett will be there to protect you, but it also means he will feel free to tease you unmercifully," Alice admitted truthfully.

Bella look at me before asking, "Does that mean I can tease him as well without fear of physical retribution?"

Jasper doubled over in laughter while Alice declared, "He'd as soon hurt himself than you; he holds sisters in the highest regard even when they taunt and tease him."

Bella's smile lit us her face as she crowed, "I have a big brother!"

From that point on, play continued until nearly one the following morning. Bella had been able to win five hands in a row thereby retrieving five items from the table, but she then lost five hands just as quickly. On the six hand, she also lost, and that was the moment I knew she would have to remove an actually outer garment.

She was in the process of removing her skirt when Edward walked into the room, stopped dead still, and growled, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Of all of us, Edward always had the most controlled temper, but at that moment, I realized he had a weakness, and I knew his attraction to Bella went beyond a thirst for her blood because, of us all, Edward almost never cussed.

I was a moment away from warning him off; no one, and that included my brothers, was going to yell at my little sister, but once again, Bella surprised me. Without hesitating, she continued to remove her skirt while telling him, "We're playing strip poker; I hear it's a family pastime."

I snickered softly at her comment, and I felt it when Alice kicked my shin as a warning not to say anything, but I did watch to see what Edward would do next as Bella neatly folded her skirt and laid it on the table.

For his part, Edward just growled and stomped off, presumable to his room. He verified that presumption as I heard him slam his bedroom door shut.

"Is he always so tetchy?" Bella asked as she sat back down. Her words showed us she was trying to make light of the incident, but her face told all of us that she was trying to not to cry.

"It's okay Bella," Alice began to reassure her, "He had expected you to be asleep and when he saw you, he was surprised – to say the least, but watching you remove your skirt . . . well, let's just say it shocked him the way it made him feel."

"He's disgusted with me, isn't he?" Her voice couldn't conceal the hurt she was feeling.

"Actually, no," Alice said but I could tell she was holding something back, "He's more disgusted with himself because he liked what he saw."

"How can you know that?" Bella flatly asked. "Can you read his mind?"

"No, I can't read his mind, but sometimes he throws his thoughts at me and I can hear him. I don't think he realizes he was doing it just now, but he threw his thoughts out where I could hear them when he saw you." Alice tittered before adding, "He was surprised by how grown-up you looked. I told you the make-up would help," she grinned widely.

"Well, now that that is settled," I asserted wanting to change the subject because I could tell it still upset Bella, "let's finish this game." I guess I should add for readers that all girls in the 1950's wore slips under their skirts, so it wasn't as if Bella had stood before us nude. In fact, she had one of those full slips on that were designed to make skirts puff out more.

"Emmett," Bella intoned softly, "Would you mind if I just went to bed?" I watched as she tried to suppress a yawn.

I had temporarily forgotten that she still had that human need to sleep, so I said, "That would be fine Bella. Just gather up your belongings and Alice will take you up stairs."

I watched as everyone sorted out the items to their rightful owner until all that remained was the pink pair of panties Bella had first taken off. Noticing that she didn't pick them up, I said with a soft chuckle, "Um, Bella, don't forget you panties."

She looked back at me and then at the table before nonchalantly saying, "Oh, Jasper can have them if he wants."

Jasper nearly choked on her comment, but Alice smiled.

"It's okay Jasper," Bella reassured him, "Those actually belong to Alice; I only borrowed them."

I could not help what I said next. "So, Bella, does not mean you didn't have any of your own?"

She smiled, "No, Emmett, I'm wearing mine, but I added some extra just in case I needed them," then she turned and walked up stairs with Alice.

I looked at Jasper and we both began to laugh. I had learned much about Bella that night, and the biggest fact I learned was that she could be just as surreptitious as I could.

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**AN: I really want to thank those of you who have been gracious enough to leave reviews on a consistant basis. I dedicate this chapter to you, and if you don't know who you are, you are the ones who have left reviews for almost the all four of the last chapters, and some of you have left reviews for even more of the past chapters. I enjoy hearing from each and every one of you.**


	31. Chapter 31 Not the First

**AN: Same disclaimer as always – the actual Cullen family and Bella Swan belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Note from Emmett – he wants to thank Karma32, SamiLea, graciousplum, Viper003, The Daylighter, and cindyalice for giving him the bragging rights over Edward because his chapter received more reviews. In his opinion, you can save your reviews for his chapters because they are more interesting than Edwards are [his words do not reflect the opinion of the author by the way].**

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**Journal Twenty-Three – Not the First [1958]**

She could say to let her finish, but my mind had already finished the violent, offensive, destruction of my angel. Without realizing it, I must have balled my hands into fists because Bella leaned toward me, grabbed both my hand with hers, and said, "Edward, calm down. Before you go any further, please let me finish." She then took one of my hands with both of hers and slowly and gently pried my fingers straight, and then did the same with my other hand.

"As I said," she was now holding both of my hands in hers, "he continued to reassure me that I had nothing to fear. Then he turned his head slight to my right, pushed my right leg a little further away from the other one, and bit me."

The growl formed low within my chest slowly growing and rising, and with her last words, it erupted from my mouth. I had already resolved to kill this man when I found him.

"Edward," Bella voice suddenly became powerful and commanding, "Listen to what I just said – he . . . bit . . . me." She purposefully enunciated each of the last three words with as much authority as I had ever heard in her voice before.

A veil suddenly dropped from my eyes as I saw hers riveted on mine, and my mind slowed down enough to replay her last three words. They slammed hard into my conscious thoughts as they rang out 'he – bit – me.'

Without being aware of it, I breathed, "A vampire."

"Yes Edward, he was . . . um, still is, and that's why . . ."

I angrily interrupted, but my anger was now motivated from another direction, "How long Bella?" I saw the confusion my question caused her, so I amended, "How long did he drink from you?"

Bella was still holding my hands and that was where her eyes shifted to as she answered, "I don't know, Edward."

"This is important, Bella, you have to try to remember how long . . ."

This time she interrupted me. "It's not a matter of remembering or forgetting, Edward. It's just like with you at the park. At first, I didn't understand what was happening, but then I smelled the blood and I passed out. I'm not even sure how long I was out, but I was sure of the fact that I had scared him. When I came to, he was cradling me in his lap saying, 'Wake up little one. Please be okay.' I'm sure it scared him when I passed out, probably because no one else had done anything like that before."

"How many times did he bite you Bella? How often did he come back for more of your blood?" I asked, somewhat calmer than before but still upset about anyone using her in such a manner. In my mind, she was mine and no one had a right to her or her blood, not even someone in the past.

Bella frowned at me, shook her head, released my hands so she could cross her arms, and huffed, "Edward, this is my story. Are you going to allow me to finish it?"

I realized I had upset her, but there were important questions burning to escape from in my mind. As she continued to frown at me, I finally admitted to myself that if I didn't allow her to finish, she would never answer my questions. Besides, I had to remind myself that I had no right to stop her from telling me her story. After taking a cleansing breath, I pulled her toward me so I could position her with her between my legs with her back resting against me. Then I wrapped my arms around her and said, "Please finish Bella, I promise not to interrupt."

Bella nestled back against me murmuring, "I like this. It's a comfortable and safe place to finish the story, but it is a bit long."

I smiled and kissed the top of her head, "I'll listen to every word." It pleased me that she felt safe in my arms, and it felt right to have her leaning on me for safety and comfort, as well as protection. How I wanted to protect her from everything, including the pain and suffering of her past, but I could not undo what had already be done, so I promised myself to try to make up for it in the present.

"Like I said," she began, "he was cradling me like any parent would cradle a child, and asking me to wake up. My eyes finally fluttered open and I saw the concern on his face."

'_Are you okay little one? Did I hurt you in anyway?'_

_He seemed very concerned for my welfare so I told him, 'I'm fine. I just don't like the smell of blood.'_

'_You can smell blood?' He asked me much like you did the first time I informed you of my problem with its smell._

'_Yes, it makes me feel woozy and then everything goes black,' I told him honestly._

'_But other than that you feel all right?' He asked it in the same concerned manner that my mother always used after I hurt myself._

_Once again, I reassured him, 'I'm fine.'_

'_Tell me child, what do you remember?' He asked with a small tremor in his voice._

'_Well,' I began, and not sure how much he wanted me to tell him, I started with, 'I left my parents to explore the woods, and I got lost. Then you found me and told me I would be safe, but then you bit me.' I remember looking deep into his red-rimmed eyes looking for some answer to my next question. 'Why did you bite me?'_

'_I didn't child. You just got scared and passed out, nothing more.' I notice his voice became slightly deep and a little commanding, but I refused to believe him._

_I remembered what happened and I did not plan to forget it. In fact, I was curious as to why anyone would bite another person enough to make her bleed, and I knew I had bled because I smelt the blood, but then I noticed that the smell was gone. Still curious, I pulled up my skirt and looked at my leg where I knew he had bitten me, but all I saw was a faint scar._

'_Where's the blood I smelt, and how come it's not all icky like my other cuts and stuff?' I asked as I looked back into his eyes._

'_Child,' he said, 'You should not remember what happened. You should have no memory of anything but what I tell you.'_

_I thought it was an odd thing he told me, so I asked, 'Why?'_

'_That's the way it works,' he replied simply._

'_Oh, okay, but I still remember what really happened,' I informed him. I could pretend, I decided, if he wanted me to. Adults were always asking children to do things that generally didn't make since, and to me he was an adult. At least that was how I felt at that age. 'Can you take me to my parents now?' I asked. I knew they would be worried about me – they always did when I disappeared or they couldn't find me for some reason or another._

'_What will you tell them?' He asked, but I could see the fear in his eyes._

_I thought about that for a little bit and I knew he didn't want me to tell my parents about the bite, and since he didn't hurt me, at least not in my mind,_ she seemed to add that for my benefit after feeling my arms tighten around her, _I decided to tell his version._

'_I'll tell them I got lost and that you found me and brought me back to them. Will that be okay?' I added the question to make sure it would not upset him._

'_That will be fine,' he replied, and then he added, 'I want you to wait here for me for a few minutes. I need to get something and then I'll be back to take you to your parents.'_

'_Okay.' I felt no reason not to trust him._

"Edward, you have to know that I really did feel I could trust him. I'm not sure why, but children seem to have a special sense about who to trust and not to trust – or at least I always did, so don't get mad at me." She squirmed around to look at me before continuing, "I felt the same way about you when we first met, and even though you didn't bite me, you still tasted my blood, and more than once I might add." She was smirking at me as she added the last comment.

"Is that the end of the story?" I asked smiling at her. I couldn't be mad at her, how could she have known that vampires sometimes are not trustworthy.

"No, that is not the end." She moved back around so she was once again snuggled back against my chest.

_I didn't have to wait long for him to return, and when he did he was wearing a brown uniform; I later learned it was a ranger's uniform._

'_Are you ready to go home?' He asked and I just nodded in reply. 'We have a little ways to go, so I'm going to carry you most of the way. I want you to hold tight and close your eyes.' Once again, my reply was just a nod._

_I did start with my eyes closed, but then I felt the wind brushing swiftly against my cheeks and my curiosity caused me to open my eyes. I saw the trees moving rapidly by us; just like riding in a car, I thought. He didn't notice I had my eyes open, but I watched the rest of the trip and realized we had been further away than I thought possible. After a few minutes, he finally slowed down, and then looked down at me._

'_I thought I told you to close your eyes,' he sighed._

'_That was fun,' I said before asking, 'Can we do it again?'_

'_Why are you so different from anyone I have ever met?' He asked._

_I saw puzzlement in his look and wondered how I was different. In my mind, anyone would enjoy the swift movement, the feel of the wind gently kissing their cheeks, and the flashing by of an amazing blur of rainbow colors. 'Different how?' I finally asked and he stopped and set my feet upon the ground. It saddened me when I realized the trip was over._

'_You aren't scared of me or what we just did, are you?'_

'_Why should I be? You seem nice enough, and I enjoyed the ride. You are even taking me back to my parents.' I looked at him hoping he would clarify what he meant, but he just shook his head and laughed. It was a pleasing laugh, so much so that I laughed with him._

_Before he could answer my question, I heard my parents calling my name. Without thinking much about it, I yelled, 'I'm over here,' and then I heard them running in our directions._

_When they burst through the trees, my dad was yelling, 'Where have you been?'_

_He was mad at me, so I looked down at the ground and said, 'I got lost.' Then I waited for him to yell some more. He yelled a lot when I did things that either hurt me or just scared him._

_Before he could yell any more, the nice man who had found me said, 'She was wondering around in the woods when I found her, but there's no harm. Children can easily become distracted by nature and then forget what direction they came from. The main thing is she is safe.'_

_My mother, with tears running down her face, scooped me up in her arms and hugged me tight. Then she said, 'Thank you for bringing her back.'_

_My dad also thanked him, but more gruffly than my mom. I knew he was still mad at me for wondering off. The man then turned to go, but mom stopped him by asking, 'What is your name?'_

_He replied, 'Peter Townsend, ma'am,' and then he left._

_After we got back to camp, dad did yell at me again and made me promise to stay at the camp and not wonder off by myself. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night._

"Because your father yelled at you?" I whispered softly in her ear feeling angry that her father would treat her that way.

"No," she murmured, "Not really. I was upset that he yelled, but I cried because I wanted to see Peter again and I thought I never would."

"He came back," it wasn't a question because from her tone I knew he had.

"Yes, he came back the next day. Dad had gone fishing and mom had gone to look for more firewood. I was sitting on the ground feeling miserable."

'_What's wrong little one?'_

_When I heard his voice, I jumped up and leaped into his arms while the tears ran down my cheek._

'_Hey what's this?' He asked as he wiped the tears._

'_I missed you,' I sobbed and buried my face in his chest._

'_Why would you miss me?' It sounded as if he had never had anyone who had missed him or had been happy to see him._

'_You were nice to me. You didn't yell at me for getting lost,' I sobbed. I felt like a baby crying so much, but I couldn't make myself stop. It felt good to cry about him because I liked him._

'_Where are you parent's little one?' He walked over to a fallen log on the ground and sat down settling me in his lap._

'_Daddy is fishing and mommy is looking for wood.' I finally managed to stop crying but I hugged him around the neck. I thought if I let go of him he would leave again._

'_Well, maybe I'll just stay with you until they get back. How does that sound?'_

_I pulled away from him a little, gave him a big smile, and said, 'I would like that very much.'_

"When my mom returned, Peter was still with me and she invited him to stay for dinner. She planned on frying the fish dad would bring back. Even dad didn't object to having him around. It was the beginning of a friendship that lasted until we moved away."

"So, I'm not your first vampire love?" I meant to tease her with the comment, but inside I was upset that she had fallen in love with someone before me, even if she had only been six at the time.

I felt her laugh vibrate on my chest as it shook her. "I didn't know he was a vampire for some time. It wasn't until closer to my seventh birthday when I spent the night at a friend house and she forced me to watch this horror movie. When I saw the man bite the women in the neck, I remembered the incident in the woods, but I was confused because in the movie the vampire drank all of the woman's blood and left her for dead. Then there was the fact that he had to sleep during the day because sunlight would kill him. I knew the bite and drinking of blood was the same, but nothing else fit."

She squirmed out of my embrace and turned around to face me kneeling between my legs and sitting back on her feet. Then she caressed my cheek causing me to sigh pleasurably. Her touch always aroused my more sensual emotions.

"A week after that sleep over," she continued, "Dad and Mom had to attend some formal dinner that related to Dad's military job, and Mom asked Peter if he would mind babysitting me because everyone else was busy. He happily agreed, and I decided I would ask him about being a vampire."

She paused and I watched her eyes closely knowing she was remembering something and hoping she would share it with me. I didn't want her to keep any more secrets from me but I was unwilling to push the issue because I wanted her to make the decision of her own free will.

She pleased me by saying, "Do you remember what I said after I passed out at the park?"

"Like it was yesterday," I replied with a smile.

"I already knew, you see, that you were a vampire because of Peter. The minute you drank my blood, even though you only licked it, I saw something in your eyes that I recognized from the time I spent with Peter, but I knew I couldn't tell you about him. I shouldn't be telling you now, you see I promised him not to tell, just as I promised not to tell about you, but I think this is different. I'm not telling a human about either of you. Instead, I'm telling one vampire about another one."

"So, how did Peter react to your question?" I traced her lips with my finger, wanting to kiss them but also wanting the rest of the story. I was already trying to work out in my thoughts who this Peter might be. I didn't remember meeting anyone by that name, and I didn't remember any of my family mentioning his name. I realized he might be a nomad who kept completely to himself, which would mean it would be hard to track him down, but unreasonably, I wanted to track him down and confront him about nearly tainting and or killing a six-year-old child.

While my thoughts planned on ways of finding this Peter Townsend, Bella answered my question. "He was just as surprised as you by my statement. You see, I didn't ask him if he was a vampire, I told him I knew he was one. At first, he just laughed at my accusation, but I persisted. I told him I knew the truth, but as I had before, I would remain quiet about what I knew. I told him I only wanted some questions answered. With that admission, he looked at me like I was more of an adult than a child, and then asked how I could be so certain about my claim."

When she pressed me about what I was, she didn't make it a statement but a question, but I had always felt her use of the word 'vampire' was a naming of what I was rather than questioning if I was one. Now I knew she had already known what I was; she had only wanted me to admit the truth. I realized I had blinded myself to her knowledge back then because of my belief that I knew what all humans thought, and that they really preferred not to know the truth about things that delved into the supernatural. How wrong I had been about her then, and she was proving that to me now.

Without knowing I had other thoughts presenting themselves in my mind, Bella continued, "Even though he looked at me as if I were an adult, I knew he thought of me only as a child, so I told him, _'I'm not stupid you know. Even children can see what is right in front of them, but until I saw a movie with vampires in it, I didn't know about them. Once I learned the word and saw some of what they did, it was easy enough to discover the truth. So, please, stop treating me as if I'm stupid and easily tricked. Just be honest, how hard can that be?'_ I don't think he ever expected me to so bold, but he finally admitted the truth to me. He even answered some of the questions I had that I knew the movie probably had wrong. Alice explained some of the same things, but I couldn't afford to let her know, at the time, that I already had privy to what she was sharing."

She sat and looked at me a few moments as I noticed she was studying my face and I wondered what she was looking for or even seeing. I watched as she bit her bottom lip and knew she was deciding whether to say something to me. I patiently waited hoping whatever it was that was floating around in her thoughts she would agree to share. It was a long wait, almost unbearable, enough so that I was about to plead with her to share her thoughts.

Before I could, however, she finally said, "Edward, even though you're not the first vampire I have encountered, you are the only one I have ever fallen in love with. You must know that is true. If it wasn't, I don't think I could kiss you like this," and to prove her point she leaned against me and kissed me with as much passion as I would allow her to share.

Since I am such a selfish creature, I readily admit I cherished that kiss and it did prove to me she loved me and not some faceless vampire she had accidently stumble upon when she was a child. He might have been a beautiful mythical creature, but I told myself that in her mind he was never more than a friend.

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We spent the rest of the day in each other's arms, but I did convince her to take a nap. I wanted to lay her on the bed but she preferred being wrapped up on my lap. I told her it wouldn't be as comfortable, but she claimed it would be safer – no nightmares about my leaving her, she claimed.

The original plan called for Alice to drive Bella home, but Alice was so involved with her dress plans that she asked me to drive Bella – I was more than happy to acquiesce to her request.

As we pulled up to the house, I noticed her father looking out the window; it was instantly obvious from his thoughts that he was upset about my bringing Bella home. I warned her that he would say something once we walked in the door.

"Don't worry; I think I know exactly what to say." She paused as I helped her out of the car, but before starting toward the door, she asked, "Is my mom near him?"

"Yes, in fact she is trying to calm him down." I chuckled. I was discovering that her mother was a force to one had to reckon with when she felt the need to assert herself.

As soon as Bella entered the house, she began to gush –no other words properly described the rapid flow of words that ushered through her lips. "Oh, mom, you'll never guess," she began as she allowed me to remove her coat and hang it up. "Alice isn't just making me a dress; she is designing it for me."

It was like she never took a moment to breath, and she allowed herself to continue the events of the fitting for a full five minutes before her mother finally ordered her to stop for a breath. Even though Bella followed her mother's request, the talk of the dress did not let up. Between the two, they monopolized the conversation for half an hour while her father fumed about not being about to vent his annoyance about my driving Bella home.

Before he could finally say anything that would upset Bella, I interjected that I needed to return home to study for a math test, and I reminded Bella that she had one the next day as well.

Her mother asked what teacher would give a test right after a vacation break and Bella and I both laughed. We didn't have the same math class, but we did have the same teacher, and Bella explained how he felt 'young minds could not retain information over a long break from school,' and just to prove his point, he always gave a test the day his students returned from any holiday break that was longer than one day.

Bella saw me to the door, and I whispered that I would meet her in her room in ten minutes – just enough time to drive home, run back, and scale her wall.

Even though Bella had taken a nap that afternoon, I found her more than ready to sleep when I slipped through her window, so I laid down on her bed and allowed her to curl up next to me after she wrapped herself in her quilts for warmth.

Nighttime always provided me an opportunity to think, and generally, my thoughts revolved around pleasant thoughts, memories, and plans involving Bella. That night was different. My mind taunted me with images of Bella and her first vampire. I had heard about the emotion of jealousy and wondered how people could allow it to manipulate them. I had never experienced that emotion before meeting Bella because I didn't envy what others had. I never begrudged Jasper or Emmett the happiness they had with their wives, and Carlisle and Esme had always been the best parents anyone could hope for, and as for material possessions, anything I really wanted, I would buy.

I had felt jealous toward Bella when other boys at school thought about her, but I had learned to feel sure of her love that I didn't worry about them stealing her away from me. That night, however, I learned about the strength of true emotional jealousy. I realized what I had felt before was nothing to the emotions that had begun to well up in me that night.

I was jealous of a vampire named Peter because he not only met Bella before me, but he also tasted her blood before me. What's more, he had jeopardized her life by biting her when she was so young. Invidious thoughts began to infiltrate my reason as well. It told me things like, 'she still likes him,' 'she likes him more than you,' 'if he showed up, she would choose him over you,' and the worst one, 'she's using you to find him.'

I knew the falsity of these odious thoughts, but I idiotically listened to them anyway. I listened so well, that some of them develop their own repulsive visual images to accompany them as they assaulted me. I almost left Bella's side so I could find some form of physical activity to push these abhorrent thoughts out of my head when I felt Bella's soft form move in my arms, and as if that were not enough, she omitted a pleasurable moan in her sleep.

Another string of spiteful thoughts bombarded my head – 'she's dreaming of him,' 'she's trying to get away from you,' and 'she doesn't want you anymore.' Every newly imagined rejection sent a piercing pain through my body, and I found myself asking, 'Why would she want me?'

"Edward," her voice startled me, "What are thinking about that is causing you to grimace in pain?"

I looked down at her and found her eyes riveted on my face. If it hadn't been for the moonlight filtering in at that time, she would never have noticed my apparent pain due to the darkness.

"Bella honey, why aren't you sleeping?" I asked in a hushed tone trying to deter her from asking any pointed questions.

"Edward, I felt you tense up and could feel your pain. Something is hurting you, but since nothing can really harm you, it must be something you are thinking about." She began to pull herself up into a sitting position, but I held her down. "Edward," she argued, "Either share with me what is causing your pain, or let me up."

I pondered swiftly wondering if she would understand, and if I could make myself share this with her. The side of me that didn't think she would understand was winning when she said, "You said we should have no secrets. Did you mean that, or do you feel this is something you are unwilling to share with me?"

The words jolted me out of my despondency. "I'm discovering what it feels like to be jealous," I offered quickly before allowing myself to change my mind.

"Jealous of what?" She asked as she nuzzled into my chest.

"You're other vampire," I replied.

"My other what?" She said a little sharply as she pulled her face away from my chest in order to look up at me.

"Your other vampire – you know the one you told me about."

Bella chuckled, "He was never my vampire. I always saw him as an uncle I never had," she paused slightly and then added, "Well, I mean as one who was closer and would actually talk to me even though I was a child."

"Do you miss him?" Best ask the difficult questions first, I decided.

"I guess so," she considered, "Much like I miss my grandparents now that they are gone. After we moved, I figured I would never see him again, and I didn't, but he informed me 'that was the way it should be.' He said it would be best for me if I forgot about him. I don't think I've really thought about him in a long time, but meeting you brought back the memories, and I thought they were memories you should know about because they help explain why I was never afraid of you." She reached up and caressed my cheek. "Edward, he was just a friend; a friend to a lonely child."

"Do you wish you could see him again?" She still hadn't told me if she loved him, or if seeing him again would pull up feeling of love.

"I have never really thought about it, but . . ." she stopped and her gazed suddenly examined my face much more closely. "Edward," she began hesitantly, "You mentioned feeling jealous. You don't think I would want him instead of you, do you?"

I wanted to laugh the question off, but she would see through my lie. I had always been extremely good at lying, but Bella had an uncanny sense of knowing when I was lying to her, so all I could do was admit the truth. "It had crossed my mind," I finally confessed.

Bella pushed her face into my chest and began to laugh. I could feel her entire body shaking, but her laugh remained muffled into my chest. When she finally regained control of it, she pulled away again, looked into my eyes, and exclaimed, "Now you know how I feel at times. It's hard, isn't it, to think the one you love might have someone waiting in the wings, and that at any moment that other person will come and steal away the only person you will even love. That's how I feel about you, Edward. How do I know that you don't have someone else that you loved and lost and one day they might turn up again and steal you away from me?"

"On my word of honor, Bella, I have never loved anyone before you, and I'll never love anyone but you. My love is set in stone and cannot change." I put every ounce of honesty in those words because whether she believed them, they were the truth.

"I know that you believe all humans are easily changeable, especially where their feelings are concerned, but Edward, I'm never going to fall out of love with you, and that too is the honest truth." She then reached up, pulled my head down toward hers, and kissed me.

When she finally released her hold on me, I chuckled, "Breath Bella."

"I'll be glad when it won't be necessary for you to remind me of that fact," she chuckled in reply. "Promise me Edward that you won't think things like that again. I'm not letting you go, and I'm definitely not pining for a vampire who bit me when I was six."

"I'll promise if you do one thing for me?" I replied as I caressed her lovely face that was stilling looking up at me.

"Anything," she breathed.

"Tell me what you'll ask Emmett for." I knew Emmett would corner her first thing tomorrow at school. He had stayed away today, but there would be no holding him back tomorrow.

Bella chuckled, "That stupid bet, I hadn't forgotten. He'll give it to me; there is no question about that. The problem will be my dad, so I'll need my mom's help."

"How do you know he will give you what you ask for?" I knew they had a solid relationship, I just didn't think it was quite that solid – solid enough for her to be positive she would get what she asked for.

"Because he never says no; everything I've asked him for, he has done."

"Well, there is always a first time," I chuckled.

She laughed in reply, "I don't think so. I don't think Emmett has it in him to say no to me."

"And how can you be so certain?" I asked, curious about the certainty I heard in her voice.

"With some people, I just know things. I know when I can trust them and when I can't, and I know that Emmett will never deny me anything I ask for, just like my mom will never so no to anything I ask for." She stared at me before saying, "Don't scowl Edward, I'd never ask for anything harmful or objectionable."

"So," I smiled this time, and then ran my finger around her lips and then down to her neck and back up around her ear feeling and seeing the shivers of delight my touch was causing her. "What will you ask him for that is not harmful or objectionable?"

"I want him to take me skiing," she replied as she reached up to kiss me again.

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**Addendum:**

_One reviewer commented that she would like to hear my version of the poker game as I saw it, and rather than have the author add a comment to her, I decided to add my view point on what happened that evening._

First, I knew something was going on at home only because of the voices and thoughts that I intercepted before arriving home. I was fully aware of Bella's presence in my home because when Alice jumped around in her chair clapping her hands at lunch that afternoon, I instantly knew she had just gotten something she wanted. Eavesdropping on their conversation became simple, so I knew Alice had seen Bella's mother approving of the sleep over.

My intent had been to slip into the house unnoticed by Bella – my family would hear my entry even if they didn't see me. As mentioned earlier, I knew something was going on because of the voices I heard, some audible some not. Emmett's visual images consisted of a long legged, curvy female shimmying out a skirt, but it only focused on the lower half of the female. Naturally, I associated his image with Rose. Alice's thoughts wavered around, sometimes revealing a card hand she had just held and then shifting to Jasper. Jasper's thoughts in no way prepared me for what I was about to see as I walked in the door because he was rereading in his mind a passage from a philosophy book he had purchased the weekend before.

No one's thoughts, therefore, helped prepare me for the shock I experienced when I walked through the front door and glanced into the dining room where my eyes instantly riveted on Bella in the process of shedding her skirt. The image did not match exactly what I had previewed from Emmett, but near enough to know what he had been watching. The legs looked longer and there were definitely curves on Bella I had never noticed before, but what really jolted me was the instantaneous desire that overwhelmed my senses. I had to fight a desire to grab her, run up to my room, and lock the door so no one else could see her or touch her. Bella had changed overnight in my eyes. She no longer looked like the gawky understated fourteen year old who I watched walk into gym class on that first day. Suddenly, she looked more mature and glamorous. Alice always said a change of clothes and make-up would improve Bella's appearance, and to think I had only seen her as a young naïve child.

That was when the colorful explicative slipped out, which surprised me, but not as much as Bella's calm response about playing strip poker as she continued to remove her skirt. What made it worse was the additive about it being my family's pastime. Emmett only added fuel to the fire but thoughtfully sharing, 'Oh, Edward, she took her panties off first.' It took everything I had not to hit him, and the only way to control myself was to leave the room promptly.

Even in my room, I could still hear them, and I was about to drown them out with music when I heard Bella mentioning how tired she was. Then the comments about who had what article of clothing or other accessories started. I had no problems with that until Emmett mentioned Bella's panties. I had hoped he was taunting me with that thought, but to know she actually removed them . . . well, I should have felt disappointed in Bella, but I actually felt envious that I hadn't been here to watch her remove them. 'Dirty mind,' was all I could think about myself, and so disappointed in myself was I that I almost missed Bella's comment to Jasper. That snapped me out of my other thoughts.

At the time, I did not recognize that what I felt was jealousy, but now I know better. My hands fisted as I forced myself to stay in my room, because when she said Jasper could have them, I wanted to fly down there and snatch them away. Then she uttered the soothing words, "It's okay Jasper, those actually belong to Alice; I only borrowed them."

My thought then concurred with Emmett's, why would she borrow them from Alice. I chuckled very softly when she commented about putting on extra. I almost laughed aloud when I heard Emmett's next inaudible comment as Alice escorted Bella upstairs, 'That sneaky little devil, she's almost as ingenious as I am.'

Alice didn't say anything until after they closed the door behind them in Bella's room; by that time, Emmett had left the house in search of Rose, who had chosen to spend the night tinkering on the cars in the garage instead of socializing with the human. Out of curiosity only, I eavesdropped some more.

"I could have died laughing when you told Jasper he could have the panties," Alice tittered, "And the look on Emmett's face was worth a picture."

"He did seem rather taken back. Didn't he realize that was what I was doing when I went upstairs earlier?" I didn't hear laugher in her voice, but it did sound light and unconcerned.

"No, none what's so ever."

"Well, what did he think I was doing?" The curiosity was evident in her tone.

Alice chuckled again before informing her, "He thought you needed 'one of those human moments,' as he put it in his thoughts."

"Oh, I think I understand." If I could have seen her, I would have confirmed my belief that she had blushed right then, but all I had to go on was a heightening of the scent of her blood.

"Thank you Bella for a perfect time. I'll never forget the look on Emmett's face when he kissed you . . ."

That last comment caused me to growl under my breath, "Alice, my room, now."

"I had fun Alice. I wasn't sure how I would feel about all of this, but I love your family, and I will not hesitate to accept your next invitation."

As focused as I had been on Alice's kissing comment, I was both glad and upset by Bella's response. It revealed two things instantaneously. One, she felt comfortable around a house of vampires – something she should definitely not feel, and second, she would be in my house more meaning her scent would begin to permeate the atmosphere and tempt my thirst more. I liked the first realization because it revealed her uniqueness but dreaded the second because it meant her nearness would make it easier for me to give in to my temptations where her blood was concerned. At that time, I didn't focus much on my unconscious growing desires for her personally nor my bodies unconscious recognition of her as a woman.

"I have to go, but you get a good night's sleep and I'll see you first thing in the morning," Alice said.

"Not before nine, Alice," Bella called louder than before so I knew Alice had to be leaving her room.

I stood by my door awaiting Alice's arrival. As soon as she entered, I growled under my breath, "What kiss?" An overpowering sense of ownership swamped me under unreasonable anger toward Emmett for even daring to touch his lips to hers. It was not acceptable to me; she was mine and he had no rights were she was concerned.

"Calm down, little brother, you remember the rule he always makes while playing cards." She sauntered over to my chair and sat down.

"Yes, but there was not betting and Jasper was sitting to her left," I responded. We all knew that insipid rule, and Emmett only made it so he could kiss Rose while playing cards.

"He changed it slightly. He said if someone folded right after the deal, then the person to their right got to kiss them," she explained in a bored tone.

"He did kiss her though," I clarified.

Alice's face went instantly from bored to highly amused as she chuckled. "Yes he did, and the look on his face is now burned into my memory." She cocked an eyebrow while scrutinizing my face, "Would you like to see it?" Her smile turned into a smirk.

"No," I nearly yelled, then looked closer at her, and changed my mind. "Okay, show it to me."

I had no honest desire to see Emmett kiss Bella, but something in Alice's look and tone made me change my mind. What she showed me was a simple enough kiss, but the look of ultimate horror on Emmett's face jolted me. "What did she do, bite him?" Why Emmett would ever look terrified about a simple kiss went beyond all reason in my mind. Emmett was the one in the family who took on the largest grizzly bears and lamented afterward that they were too tame.

Alice chuckled, "No, Emmett realized he was kissing his sister, and the feel of it shocked him."

"Sister?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, Bella is now officially and forever, Emmett's little sister. Won't Rose be pleased to learn that tidbit of news?" Alice's smile revealed the pleasure she would take in informing Rose of the new relationship that had bloomed that evening.

One thing that stayed pushed to the back of my mind was how mature Bella had looked, and how that maturity made me feel toward her. I rejected those thoughts every time I encountered her and reminded myself constantly that the only true attraction I felt for her was the taste of her blood. I remained firm in the that belief no matter what anyone else in the family said until that blissfully euphoric night in the closet when I kissed her, and then all my carefully constructed walls came falling down around me. I'm grateful they crumbled and thankful that my siblings forced their destruction.

**NOTE: I was only going to send this to the person who asked, but Edward and Bella both agreed that I should share it with everyone. I also want to off my thanks for all the kinds words of encourage that many of you have sent in your marvelous reviews.**


	32. Chapter 32 Oh The Fun We'll Have

**AN: Disclaimer, the Cullen family and Bella are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**

**Emmett is still gloating that his chapter received more reviews than Edwards did. He just wanted to say thanks to his fans who posted reviews (even though some of you also left a review for Edward as well). I just want to thank all of you who are being consistent in posting reviews – I truly appreciate you feedback, I wish more reader's would, unless of course they don't like the story. Now I give you the chapter of the week, and yes, I'm already working on the next one, but be warned, school starts in three weeks.**

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Journal Entry Twenty-Four – Oh the Fun We Will Have [1958]**

Although the kiss was nice, the request bothered me. Skiing and Bella did not make a safe amalgamation in my mind. "You're right; he will agree to your request, but are you sure that's what you really want? I mean, skiing can be dangerous at the best of times, but for you, it could be catastrophic."

"What? You don't think you can keep me safe?" She chuckled as she snuggled against me again sending waves of glorious heat throughout my body.

"That's not what I'm saying Bella," I wrapped my arms around her body in an effort to gather some of her warmth into them. I relished the feeling of her warmth at times like this, but I couldn't enjoy the idea of Bella on a ski slope.

"Well, between you and Emmett I feel safe, and it's something I have wanted to try for a long time. I'll just have to talk to my mom first, and she'll get my dad to see reason." Bella chuckled softly again and then added, "She trusts you, you know. Mom thinks you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. She knows that you will never let anything harm me."

"She doesn't know my track record then," I chortled in reply. "I didn't stop that bullet last weekend. How is your arm by the way? I noticed you stopped wearing the sling even though Carlisle said you should leave it on until Monday."

"I took it off yesterday. Wait, maybe I should say Saturday since it is probably past midnight. Anyway, Dad thought it was odd that I should wear it so long just for a strain, and he mentioned taking me to a different doctor. I told him everything was fine, and it didn't hurt anymore, and he asked why I'd keep the sling on if it didn't hurt. To placate him, I took it off, moved my arm around, and said, 'See, good as new, nothing to worry about.' That seemed to do the trick and he stopped mentioning it."

"Does your arm really feel better?"

"Yes, Edward, it does. Please don't you worry about it – I had enough of that with my dad. He can go overboard about injuries I get, and it is so aggravating. It's not as if I go out and plan ways to hurt myself; these things just happen, and I have learned to live with that fact. If I can learn that, then so can he."

I could tell she was becoming upset, and I didn't want to exacerbate her irritation. I really just wanted her to go back to sleep; she needed the extra rest after losing so much during the break because of her nightmares.

"I'm sorry Edward; I don't mean to take my anger out on you. Let's talk about something more pleasant," Bella suggested.

"How about you go to sleep, and we'll talk tomorrow," I offered hoping she would accept my suggestion.

I'm not sure how she did it, but she snuggled closer to me and said, "I'm not tired. I'd rather talk to you. I have missed you so much this past week. I don't want to be away from you again."

Her voice took on a gruff determined tone as she continued, "Next time Dad plans a trip I'm going to refuse to go. It's not as if I had fun; in fact, I had a miserable time and the only thing that made it more pleasant, besides our phone calls, was thinking about this skiing trip. I'm sure Emmett can arrange everything, and with you beside me, I won't want anything more." Her tone became more normal and slightly excited as she started talking about the trip and Emmett.

"You sure are easy to please," I chuckled again.

"Yes, I am. Now that I have you, I don't really need anything else. You fill all the holes in my life, and I finally feel like I fit in somewhere." Her voice was becoming softer and had that far away nuance to it.

I kissed the top of her head and whispered, "I'm glad, but I still think you need your sleep."

"Okay," she replied through a yawn, "Maybe I will take just a short nap, but you have to promise that if anything else upsets you or causes you pain, you will tell me about it right away. I'm counting on you to keep your word about no more secrets," and with that, she yawned once more and fell asleep.

I'm not sure how this worked for other humans, but Bella could literally fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

I spent the rest of the night executing various safety plans for Bella's skiing trip because she had been right about Emmett, he wouldn't tell her 'no.'

As I expected, Emmett was waiting for us in the school parking lot the next morning. In fact, he made it to her door before I did and even helped her out of the car.

"So Bella, have you decided what I owe you for losing the bet?" Emmett asked eagerly the next morning even before she could exit the car.

She waited until she was out of the car, and he had closed the door. "Yes, I have," she replied indifferently and then began walking toward the school building. I quickly positioned myself by her side and took her hand.

"And what did you decide," Emmett coaxed anxiously.

I could tell she was teasing him by remaining quiet as we walked toward the school. She seemed to emit an air of casual disinterest in his question and his curiosity. Of all the people who ever showed the courage, or the audacity, to interact with Emmett, only Rose and Bella could taunt him with silence without him lashing out at them.

He walked beside her his thoughts all begging for an answer, but he demonstrated great restraint by staying quiet. As we drew nearer to the school building, she finally looked sideways at him from under her lashes. "You're taking me on a trip," she responded with a small but teasing smile.

"Where are we going, and do we get to leave Edward behind," he teased laughingly in reply to her look.

Bella stopped and turned toward him; he had kept pace with her as we walked, and he stopped the instant she did. "Skiing, Emmett, I want to go skiing." Her voice took on an excited quality as she spoke.

"Great, when do we go? Wait, I'll make it part of my Christmas present to you. We can leave Edward at home, because he'll only hover around you like an overprotective mother hen. We'll have more fun without him," he chortled loudly enjoying the thoughts and visions of rushing down the slopes on a pair of skis while weaving in and out of the trees at a speed Bella would never survive.

I watched as Bella playfully slapped Emmett's arm; every time I watched her do it, I winced because I could just see her ending up with either a broken hand or wrist.

Under his breath, Emmett noted, "See, he's already worried that you're hurting yourself." Then to me he said, "You do realize Edward, Bella already learned her lesson about how hard to hit me without harming herself."

I stared down at her and asked, "Please clarify that for me."

I tried to keep the worry out of my voice, but I must have failed for Bella turned my way with a guilty smiled, "Well, when we first began joking around and teasing each other, he made a comment that caused me to hit him, and I kind of sprained my hand."

"What do you mean by 'kind of'?" I inquired seeking for further clarification of her meaning.

"Just that, Carlisle said it was mild sprain, but that the next time I wanted to hit Emmett, I either needed to mind how I was hitting him, or I needed to use a baseball bat if I wanted to add real emphasis." Bella and Emmett both laughed at her reply, but I only frowned guiltily knowing that once again she had hurt herself while with my family.

"So," Emmett told Bella as a huge grin crossed his face, "You and I go skiing, and we definitely leave Edward at home."

Bella's reply through her laugh was, "Not likely. I need him around to keep me safe when I try to follow your dangerous leads," and that comment made Emmett laugh even harder.

"I like her Edward; I knew she would be a keeper. Who else can say they have a little sister that makes them laugh on a regular basis," Emmett declared. Then, as he began to walk off, he added over his shoulder, "I'll see you at lunch, sis."

"Why do you encourage him so?" I asked her. I seriously wondered how their relationship would change once she became a vampire and was no longer breakable.

"Because I like him, and I know he likes me. If my parents had given me a brother, I would have developed just such a relationship with him, but since they didn't, I decided to share yours." We began to walk toward the building again. "Seriously Edward, I really like Emmett, and it really is fun being around him. He is so carefree and nothing scares him. I like that; in many ways, I want to be more like him."

"Okay, that seriously is a scary thought, Bella. One Emmett is doable, but if you become more like him, that could get downright scary." We both laughed at my comment at the time, but now I see I should have taken that thought more to heart and watched Bella more closely while Emmett and her relationship grew.

During morning classes, I kept a vigil on Alice's thoughts seeking out any visions she might have for this trip. By third hour, Alice became extremely exasperated by my, as she put it, invasion of her privacy. I could not stop myself though from looking, and finally, she silently commanded, 'Edward, stop invading my mind. No one has made any specific plans, so no one will make any decisions yet. If I foresee anything horrific, you will be the first person I tell. So – back off, or else.' Lunch needed to arrive faster, I decided.

I nearly flew to Bella's classroom door to escort her to lunch, and when I finally had her settled at the table with her lunch, all the talk turned immediately to Emmett and Bella's ski trip. Emmett playfully pouted when he discovered we all planned to tag along. Because of the luncheon discussion, we all agreed to meet at the house after school to sit down and finalize some of the sketchy plans made during the lunch period for the trip.

At home after school, Emmett's first question to Bella was, "Why skiing Bella? Of all the things you could have asked for, why did you chose a ski trip?"

I had wondered that same thing, but instead of asking, I had decided to wait until she decided to share her reasons with me. At least I had been able to point out the possible danger of such a trip.

"I use to hear everyone talking about how much fun it was and how great it felt to feel the air rushing past their face as they flew down the slopes. I always thought I would enjoy skiing if I ever had the opportunity to go." There was a sweet, excited smile on her face as she spoke, and I didn't have it in my heart to remind her again how dangerous it could be for her – no, I decided I would just have to be extra careful to make sure no harm came to her.

Dating Bella had provided many unique challenges for me, not only because it was the first time I had dated anyone, but also because I discovered I was becoming as overly protective as her father was. I mentioned early on that Bella was a walking accident waiting to happen, and that is an absolute certainty. The fact that I wasn't the first vampire she encounter in her life only proved to me how much of a walking hazard magnet that she really was. This trip, for me, was going to provide one more challenge in the 'keep Bella safe' campaign I had agreed to undertake when I had started dating her.

Emmett, since he didn't have that excessive pessimistic problem where Bella was concerned, was extremely enthusiastic about the ski trip. In one respect, he was just like me; he wanted to give Bella anything she wanted because she was now his sister, and he was protective in his own manner. He, however, did not begin imagining, as I did, everything that could go wrong on this trip.

Those catastrophic visions plagued me all the while my family was eagerly planning the trip, and I constantly scanned Alice's mind, while the decision carried on, for visions of even the smallest mishap that might occur.

I do have to admit that the relationship between Emmett and Bella first caused me a bit of envy. Before Alice told me about their brother-sister relationship, I would see them huddled together laughing and discussing things, and then after she informed me of their sibling bond, I would see them together more often. Even before I became romantically involved with her, I started to fear that it was more than just kindness on Emmett's part even with Alice's reassure that it was otherwise. Since it was impossible to hear any of Bella's thoughts, I couldn't affirm her true feeling toward Emmett and I wasn't about to ask her how she felt about him. I had been so busy pushing her away from me, except during shared gym activities when she obviously needed protection from her own feet, that I could not lower myself to ask her about her relationship with my brother. Later on, when I began to pay more attention to her, and began talking to Emmett about her, I discovered their relationship did go deep than a simple connection; Emmett truly loved Bella but not the same way I loved her.

Before Carlisle had changed him, Emmett had been a part of a large family. He had once told me that he was the youngest son and he had one younger sister. His shared how his sister had been his best friend and how they had an extremely special and strong bond. He admitted that his sister was the only thing he missed about his human life. The rest of his family had been family, but his sister had been a large part of him, and it was the hardest part for him to sever.

Later, when he willingly discussed Bella with me, and I was still trying to pretend she didn't really mean anything to me, he shared how Bella's arrival into the family made him recognize that she could be as close and as special as his biological sister had ever been. He remarked that it was a perfect match for Bella as well because she had always desired an older brother. So for them, it was a perfect relationship, but not the same type of relationship that Emmett shared with Rose or I shared with Bella but still just as strong and just as binding.

Even with all those thoughts racing through my mind, I was still able to follow the ongoing conversation. "We can all go Christmas week." Emmett proclaimed. "We'll make a holiday of it."

"No," Bella said softly, "Not before Christmas. Dad is big on a family Christmas. He will never agree no matter what Mom says if he finds out I won't be home for Christmas." I saw Alice nodding in agreement with Bella, so she must have seen that outcome. I had so many other thoughts racing through my mind, that I had missed her vision about that.

"What about right after Christmas day?" Jasper asked.

"That will work," Alice chimed in after a moment of looking ahead and seeing all of us on the trip.

"Okay, so we go a day or two after Christmas, and we come home on New Year's Day," Emmett added.

Bella turned with a hopeful look on her face and asked, "What do you see Alice?"

We all watched Alice as she sat silently; I watched as her mind sifted through a variety of decision choices and played out the possible futures. Finally, she smiled as she said, "That will work. Mrs. Swan will be able to convince her husband to allow Bella to go on this trip, but he'll make Edward promise that Bella will not break any bones while she is on the ski slopes." As she was speaking, Carlisle and Esme entered the room. They had heard our conversation while they were up in their room discussing a possible Christmas present for Bella. Alice turned as they entered, "It will be easier for Mrs. Swan if she knows that both of you will be along on the trip."

"I think that can be arranged," Carlisle responded. "The head of the hospital has been pointing out to me that I need to use my vacation days before the end of the year. He'll be happy to hear that I'm taking my family on a trip."

"I would like that," Esme added.

"Well, I'll go, but I'm going to spend my time shopping," Rose purred. It had surprised me that Rose had agreed to meet and discuss the trip, but now as I took a closer look at her thoughts, she wanted to make sure that Emmett wasn't planning on a trip that would only include Bella and him. He had been teasing her about it earlier, and the green monster of jealous had reared its ugly head in Rose's mind. I wondered, only briefly, if it would be safe to discuss my feelings of jealousy with Rose, and if she would provide a solution that would help me overcome that debilitating emotion. Then I thought better of the idea because, even after the years they have been together, Rose still struggles with her own feelings of jealousy where Emmett was concerned.

"I'll go with you," Alice piped in, "Jasper needs some new shirts, and I'm still looking for a pair of shoes to go with my dress for prom in the spring."

"Prom! You're already planning for prom?" Bella's surprise was extremely evident.

I whispered softly in her ear as I chuckled, "Alice never leaves anything to the last minute where clothes and fashion are concerned."

"I heard that," Alice retorted.

"That's settled then," Emmett chimed as he stood up to leave. "Come on Jasper, let's go make the reservations."

"Wait," Bella held up her hand. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" Emmett gazed down at her.

"I don't have permission to go. I'll have to ask my . . ."

Alice cut her off with a laugh, "I already saw what you were going to ask for, so I called your mother before you arrived here with Edward. She was excited about the prospect of you being able to go on a trip, so she will discuss this with your dad, and she said it will be easier for him knowing that Carlisle and Esme will be along to chaperone."

"And did you see my dad saying yes?" Bella asked.

"It will take some convincing on your mother's part, but he will capitulate in the end," Alice assured her with a mischievous little smile.

Even though I had been carefully watching Alice's visions during the discussion, I had lost focus on her for a moment as I focus on Bella and the desire that played across her face as she began to realize this trip was becoming a possibility for her. Because of my momentary disconnection with Alice, I had missed something she had seen, and I resolved to pay more attention to Alice again while this trip remained in the planning stages. I could not afford to miss anything that might cause possible harm to Bella.

"Good, come on Jasper, we still have reservations to make," Emmett said as he headed out the living room door.

"Well, I guess we're going skiing," Jasper commented as he followed Emmett out. They were headed to Jasper's study were he kept a list of hotels, vacations sites, and other places that might prove useful to the family.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" I asked Bella as I took her hand and rubbed the back of it with my finger.

"It will be exciting. I've never been skiing, and I'll be with you for almost a week. How much more perfect could that be." She almost purred in her happiness and that made me happy as well.

Hindsight is great; unfortunately, it changes nothing. If only I had known what was going to happen, I would have cancelled the entire trip.


	33. Chapter 33 Peter

**AN:Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to the Cullen family and Bella, the rest of the characters, however, are mine.**

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**Chapter 10 – Peter's story [by Isabella Marie Cullen]**

While Edward is working on the next chapter about the Christmas dance and the ski trip, I thought I would take the time to clarify some information about my meeting with Peter and about Peter himself.

Some of the reviews I have seen have been rather hard on Peter, and poor Edward, I watched him for days after telling him about Peter, and I could tell he was still jealous of the poor man, or vampire – which ever you want to label him. At the time, I thought he was just a man until after the horror movie sleep over, and it was then that I learned more about Peter and vampires.

It was some time between first sharing my secret about Peter and Christmas break that I had to tell Edward more about the events between Peter and me. I never loved Peter as I loved Edward, but I really liked Peter; I still like him even though it has been awhile since I've seen him. That was one fact that I had to stress with Edward; if Peter had walked back into my life, I would not have left Edward to be with him. Edward seemed so sure of himself until he found out about Peter, and then his insecurities and jealousy flared up. It seemed odd to me at the time because I had reassured Edward numerous times that I loved him and only him, but I learned during that time that he was just as insecure about my love as I was about his. It also showed me a vulnerable side of him, and that just gave me more to love about him – it seemed so human that he was jealous.

Seeing his insecurity, and knowing he had nothing to be insecure about, helped me to examine my insecure side. I did conclude that 'maybe' I didn't have anything to feel insecure about where Edward was concerned. It gave me something to hang on to until I could finally admit that Edward did love me and not anyone else – it took Edward a little longer to arrive at the same conclusion, but the truth finally sank into his thick skull. I have always believed his real problem was that he over thought the entire issue, but he denies it.

As Edward shared, I first encountered Peter when I was six years old, and he did bite me but only that one time. Before the year was out, he revealed some astonishing facts about the incident to me. Edward's major concern, besides the fact that I might be in love with Peter, was that I was only six years old when he bit me. Alice instilled in me during my early days with her why it was dangerous for vampires to bite children, younger teenagers, and the elderly. It all relates to blood loss and venom tainting. The blood loss can be worse with children because of how small they are, and if not careful, it is easy for a vampire to miss sucking out some of the venom that enters a human's system when first bitten.

One question that Edward asked was whether Peter was a neophyte thereby explaining why he had bitten a six-year-old child. Edward claimed only a fairly new vampire would even consider drinking from a young child, but when Peter finally began talking about himself, I learned that he had been turned sometime in the 1400's, so he was – or is – older than Carlisle.

Peter had the same problem as Carlisle; guilt plagued him anytime he had to consume human blood to survive, so when he encountered me, he was still imbibing human blood to sustain himself. His problem was he would deny himself nourishment as long as possible before finally succumbing to his thirst, and then he would drink as little as possible to keep nourished for a little longer before he would have to seek out a new victim – I really disliked that word even though Edward sees any human who is bitten by a vampire as a victim.

While I was blindly stumbling around in the woods, Peter was hunting. Up until his encounter with me, he had never taken the blood of a child, but my blood lured him in. I'm not sure if it smelt as good to him as it did to Edward, but it did have a definite draw for him. He confessed that he didn't know if he would have stopped as soon as he did if I hadn't fainted. It was the first lucky event that occurred in my life.

As I said, I learned all of this after I turned seven and while he was babysitting for me.

That night the conversation between us started out causally enough until I began to tell him about the sleepover I attended.

"Uncle Peter," I began while sitting contentedly on his lap, "Mandi invited me to sleep over at her house last weekend, and she made me watch a horrible movie." Even then, it didn't bother me that his skin was harder and colder than other human's skin, and I could always find a way to be comfortable sitting on his lap.

He chuckled softly and asked, "What was the movie, little one?"

Now, it would have angered me if anyone else had called me "little one," but the way Uncle Peter used the term, I could tell he used it affectionately rather than condescendingly.

"It was about this person who drank blood from people. He would bite them and drink their blood just like you did in the woods." I hadn't looked at him while I was talking, but before I made my declaration, I looked up into his eyes, and I could always tell if people lied to me by watching their eyes. "You're a vampire, Uncle Peter."

Only his eyes revealed his shock at my bold statement, everything else about him appeared calm and unmoved by my words. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, it seems that only vampires drink people's blood, but nothing else about that movie vampire is true," I replied confidently.

"What if I told you that there are other human who also drink blood; would you still think I was a vampire?" His response made me think for a moment, but I didn't allow our eye contact to break.

His eyes told me I was correct even though he was attempting to make me think otherwise, which encouraged me to add, "Maybe there are people like that, but it doesn't change what you are. Even if the other vampire things are wrong, you still are one." There was no hesitancy or doubt in my words or my voice.

"How can you be so sure, little one? Have I tried to take your blood again, or that of your parents?" His voice was calm, and I could tell he was trying to make me change what I believed. I even felt a slight tug on my mind as if someone was trying to get in, but I knew the truth and my belief was indomitable, no one would sway me from that fact.

"Uncle Peter, I'm not stupid you know. Even children can see what is right in front of them, but until I saw a movie with vampires in it, I didn't know about them. Once I learned the word and saw some of what they did, it was easy enough to discover the truth. So, please, stop treating me as if I'm stupid and easily tricked. Just be honest. How hard can that be?"

His reaction to my bold assertion was a hearty chuckle, and then he hugged me as he said, "No, little one, you definitely are not stupid, and your mind works more like an adult's than a child's at times." He paused as he held me away from him a little, and he scanned my face. "Would it scare you if I admitted I was a vampire, and that I do need to drink blood to survive?" He asked while carefully watching my face for a reaction.

I still watched his eyes, and replied with the biggest smile I could put on my face, and then I said, "No, I think I knew all along that you were different, but I always felt safe around you. Even when you bit me, I still felt safe. I knew deep inside that I didn't need to fear you."

I expected him to say something about how that was a childish or foolish response because adults always said things like that. I also thought he would tell me that people could not feel things like that about other people, so it surprised me when he asked, "How long have you been able to tell who you could trust?"

"As long as I can remember I've been able to tell that about people; maybe the first time was when I was around the age of two or three. I think the first person I felt that way about was someone my dad brought home to dinner. He tried to hug me, but I didn't feel safe around him so I shied away from him. A few weeks later, I overheard Daddy telling Mommy that the man did something bad and the police took him away. I even know, sometimes, when something bad is about to happen. It is usually just before I get hurt," I admitted frankly.

I had never told another human that part before, but I trusted Uncle Peter enough to tell him. It took me a little longer to tell Edward about that oddity because he was so overly concerned about everything that happened to me. In a way, he was almost as suffocatingly protective as my dad was.

"If you know you'll get hurt, why don't you stop what is happening?" He eyes gazed down on me and I felt him looking into my inner most being – the place within me that I tried to keep hidden from everyone else.

I had to think about how to tell him about this in a way he would understand. Sometimes it took longer for me to explain certain things to adults. At that age, I believed it was because adult had a harder time understanding things that they could not see or touch for themselves, so with Uncle Peter, I tried to make it easier for him to understand. "It's not like I knew in time to stop them. It's more as if I see what is going to happen a few seconds before it does, and I know I'll get hurt. Sometimes I even know if it will hurt a lot, but I never know when there is enough time to move or stop to avoid the hurt." I watched him carefully as I spoke trying to tell if he understood.

He thought about what I said, but I was growing impatient. I was just about to ask if I needed to explain it more when he asked, "Do you mean that what you see or feel does not come before the event or accident occurs, but just as it is occurring?"

"Mostly," I agreed. "Maybe it would be better if I told you about a time it happened."

"That would help," he agreed with a smile that reached into his eyes.

"Okay, there was one time when I was climbing a tree in the yard. Daddy told me hundreds of times not to climb it, but it was as if the tree was calling out to me saying, 'Climb me.' Well, I finally could not stop myself from climbing the tree. I loved the feel of the bark under my hands; I liked the roughness of it, and the tree smelt so good. I didn't really look how high I was going, but soon I looked down and began to tell myself I had to stop. I found a branch to sit on, and I looked out over the yard and enjoyed the wind playing with my hair. I thought the air smelt better up in the tree, and I liked the way it felt being so high. I don't know how long I sat in the tree, but soon I heard my Mommy calling me, so I knew it was time to climb down. I was close to the ground when I knew I was going to fall. I didn't know why I felt that way, but I knew it was going to happen. I lowered my foot to a branch and stepped down on it when it broke. I lost my hold on the branch and fell. I skinned my knee and twisted my ankle as I fell, but nothing more. I couldn't tell Daddy or Mommy about climbing the tree, and I remembered falling once before when I tripped in the back yard, so when asked, I told them that was what happened."

"And did you climb that tree again?" He gazed deep in my eyes, and I knew if I lied to him, he would see it.

"Yes, but I never fell again, so it was okay. I loved that tree, and when we moved I cried because I knew I would miss it."

"I think I understand now about seeing bad things just before they happen. You didn't see the branch was going to break, you just knew you would fall, but since you were already in the tree, there was nothing you could have done unless you would have stopped and stayed in the tree," he replied.

"Then Daddy would have found me there, yelled at me, scared me with his yelling, and I still might have fallen out of the tree," I told him.

He laughed, not at me, but at the idea of what might have happened.

Uncle Peter had the nicest laugh. When he laughed, it was infectious and always caused me to laugh with him. The best thing about his laugh was that it he never directed it at me. Many adults laughed at me when I tried to explain things to them, and other kids laughed at me when I tripped or fell. Uncle Peter never laughed at me; I always felt he was laughing with me, and it made me feel warm and vivacious inside.

I felt I had told Uncle Peter all that anyone really needed to know about me, and more than most ever learned about me, so I asked, "What about you, Uncle Peter, do you like being a vampire?"

He chuckled as he pulled me close to him, and I rested my head on his hard but smooth chest. In some ways, it felt comfortable being held by him, but it was nothing I could explain to myself when I was a child.

"No, little one, I don't like being a vampire." His voice then became more serious as he continued. "I don't like the having to find humans who I can steal blood from. I stay thirsty as long as possible before giving in to the need to hunt for nourishment."

"Doesn't the blood taste nice?" I asked. I had lost a tooth recently and remembered how salty the blood tasted in my mouth, but I didn't feel revolted by it. It had decided that it tasted better than it smelt.

"Yes," he chuckled softly, "It does taste nice, the part that is bad is that I have to steal the blood from people and then make them forget what I did. I don't like that part. It is not right to steal."

"Well, what if they gave it to you? Would that make it better?" I asked.

"Now who would want to walk up to a vampire and tell him that he could have their blood?"

His voice sounded sad, and deep inside of me, his sadness made me want to cry. Instead of crying though, I offered, "You can have my blood Uncle Peter. I would give it to you."

"No, child, I cannot take your blood. I was wrong to take it that first day," his voice was definitely sad as he spoke.

"Why was it wrong Uncle Peter?" I was a precocious child and needed every answer fully explained so I could learn all I could.

"I could have hurt you by what I did," he replied softy.

"Tell me how; I want to understand," I answered him.

"Well, if I hadn't stopped in time, I could have killed you . . ."

I interrupted by adding, "But you didn't."

"No, I didn't, but I could also have caused you to change – making you like me," he added.

"That wouldn't have been too bad. If I had changed, I could have stayed with you. I don't know if mommy and daddy would have wanted to keep me after that," I responded.

"It would have been bad because I would have had to make it look as if you died. You see, our law forbids us to show ourselves to humans."

"But I know about you. Will someone come and punish you because you broke the law?" I felt bad because I didn't want anyone to hurt Uncle Peter because of me.

"No, as long as you never tell anyone what you know, then no one will know that I broke the law."

"Good," I said, "I'll never tell anyone," I felt proud of myself that I could protect him from punishment, but I never thought, at that time to ask him who would punish him. Then I remembered what he said about me changing, so I asked, "How could you biting me make me change to be like you?"

"That is very simple, little one. We, all vampires, have venom in our mouths."

"Like rattlesnakes?" I asked somewhat surprised that vampires could also have venom.

"Yes, except in this case, the venom changes you rather than kills you. Just imagine if a rattlesnake's bite could turn you into a rattlesnake." He voice revealed that he was not as sad now as he had been earlier when talking about blood.

I wanted to look up at his face, but I felt too comfortable lying against him, so instead, I just said, "I wouldn't like that."

He chuckled softly, "Well, that could have happened to you if some of my venom had stayed in your blood. You would have become a vampire like me."

"That wouldn't have been so bad," I told him, "At least blood tastes better than frogs."

For the first time since we had begun talking about blood, venom, and vampires, he let out a deep hearty laugh causing me to laugh with him, except I didn't know why we were laughing.

"I never compared blood to frogs before, so maybe you're right. I don't think I would like being a snake either." He finally said after he stopped laughing. "I still don't think you would have liked being a vampire."

"Why?" I hurriedly asked in case he hadn't been planning to tell me.

"When someone becomes a vampire, they stop aging." He paused; I think he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't fully understand what he meant. "Don't you see, little one, it means you would never grow older than six year old. You would have always been little and never grown up," he clarified.

I thought about that a moment before I said, "I think I would rather wait. I would like to be able to drive a car like Daddy, and Mommy thinks that it might be possible for me to go to college when I grow up. She says that women might be allowed to do more things when I'm older," I stopped abruptly because at that age, I didn't fully understand what my mother meant. As a child, I had heard my mother talking about women's rights long before anyone had coined the term, but I had never fully understood what she meant.

"What about the blood. You fainted when you smelled your blood. How would you live?" He tone became more serious.

"Well, Daddy pulled my tooth out a few weeks ago, and the blood tasted salty but it wasn't bad, and when I kept my mouth shut, I couldn't smell the blood, so I just let the blood run down my throat. I guess, if I kept the blood in my mouth, I would never smell it." I had to think about that as I said it.

"And how would you feel if you killed someone while you were drinking their blood?" He remained solemn as he asked his question.

"I would just make sure I stopped in time," I replied with confidence.

Uncle Peter pushed me away from my comfortable position and held me so he could look into my eyes. I saw sadness in his as he asked, "Little one, could you look me in the eyes and then bite me in the neck without feeling bad about it?"

Just watching his face, I knew I had to say no, but instead of replying, I held out my hand and with my palm, I ran my hand down his cheek. "You didn't bite me in the neck, and you told me everything would be alright. I felt safe with you."

"Not everyone feels that way about my kind. Most people are afraid of us, and when I look at them, I see the fear in their eyes. They don't have your ability to know who will or will not hurt them, so all they feel is fear. If you had to bite someone who looked at you with fear and was pleading with you not to hurt them, how would you make yourself bite them?"

I had never thought about it that way. Then I remembered I watching two boys one day on the playground get into a fight. One of the boys was bigger, and I could not only see the fear in the smaller boy's eyes, but I could feel his fear. I wanted to be brave and rush in to stop the older boy from hurting him, but I knew I couldn't. Remembering that, I had my answer, if I saw that kind of fear in someone, I would not have it in me to hurt him. "No, Uncle Peter, if I saw their fear, I would not be able to bite them." I could not even look him in the eyes as I answered because I felt ashamed of myself.

"Are you afraid of me now, little one?" He asked as he tilted my chin up so he could see my eyes.

I saw so much compassion in his eyes, and then watched as it turned to sadness touched with sorrow and fear, and that look made me cry. I threw my arms around his wide chest, buried my face against him and sob, "No, never afraid of you. I'm afraid for you."

He patted my back while I wet his shirt with my tears, but after a few moments he asked, "Why are you afraid for me?"

"If it is so hard for you to take people's blood, does that mean one day you will die?" I sobbed even hard at the thought of losing him.

He chuckled softly, "No, little one. My survival instincts are too strong; they would never allow me to harm myself. If I ever become too thirsty, that thirst takes over and it makes me seek out blood. That's what happened the day I . . ." he stopped abruptly, but I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say.

"Is that what happened before you found me? Did your thirst bring you to me?" I had stopped crying, but I still had my face buried into him so my voice came out muffled.

In a whisper that I almost missed, he said, "Yes."

I waited for him to say more but he didn't. Once again, my curiosity forced me to continue, but this time I turned my head so I wasn't speaking into him. "Uncle Peter, was there another reason why it was wrong for you to take my blood?" I had not meant to ask that at first, but the words rushed out before I could stop them.

"Yes," his voice sounded far away from me, almost as if he were in another room instead of holding me on his lap. "It is dangerous to take blood from a child, and you were so young, but I couldn't stop myself. I was so thirsty, and then your blood smelt so sweet. I felt drawn to you – I never had that happen before. All the time I was talking to you, I hated myself because I knew what my thirst was going to make me do and I could not stop it. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my . . . well, the worst thing I have ever done." He paused and I felt his chest rise as he sucked in a deep breath. "You were so calm," his voice once again sounded normal, but still sad. "You didn't cry, and then I looked into your eyes and saw complete trust in them. I could see you trusted me, even though I knew I was going to bite you, and yet your trust did not waver even as I bit you. Your blood did taste sweet," he kissed the top of my head, "The sweetest I had ever tasted, but then you slumped lifeless into my arms, and I feared I had killed you. I picked you up and just cradled you in my arms. If I could have, I would have cried," it was the first time he had revealed to me that he could not cry, and it made my eyes water. "I was so relieved when I heard your heart beating, and then I felt guilty about what I had done to you. I thought if I could just make you forget what happened and forget me, then everything would be better."

The sorrow in his voice made me pull away from him so I could look up into his eyes. When I did, he looked down at me, reached out to me, and gently wiped away my tears.

"You are the most amazing human I have ever encountered." He finally said. I just responded by staring up at him. "You never once flinched at my cold touch, you don't mind my hard skin, you cannot be moved by my persuasion, and you have absolutely no fear of me. You are unique – truly one of a kind."

I wanted to make sure I understood what he was saying, so I asked, "This is a good thing, right?"

Once again, he graced me with his full deep laugh. "Yes, little one, this is a good thing. Maybe that is why I feel drawn to you, because you are a good thing for me. You are the only person I have met in a long time who could make me forget my miseries and make me laugh. It is the only reason why I would still be in this area. Normally, I only stay long enough in one place to relieve my thirst, and then I move on."

"Is your thirst so bad that it makes you hurt?" I could see pain in his eyes and I wondered if that was what caused it.

"Yes, it would be the same kind of pain you would suffer if you didn't eat for a week."

I thought about that for a moment trying to remember a time when I felt truly hungry. It was hard for me because my mom always made sure I had something to eat when I was hungry, so it never was a hardship for me, but then I remembered a car trip we had taken when I was little, and I had missed breakfast because I had been asleep. It must have been nearing lunchtime when Mom had made a comment about stopping but my dad said we could all wait a little longer. I remembered hearing my stomach grumble, and then as time passed, it not only grumbled but it began to gnaw on me from the inside. It hurt, more than I had ever felt before, and by the time we finally stopped to eat, I actually felt sick from the hunger pangs.

"Okay, I just remembered a time when I did feel hunger, but it hadn't been for a week, only a few hours, but it did hurt. Is that how it is for you, like something inside of you is eating away at you because you will not feed it?" I could think of no better way of explaining what I had remembered.

"Yes, just like that, but worse when I wait so long," he replied.

I needed time to think, so I laid back against him and went over what he had told me. He had said he felt guilty stealing blood from humans, and he didn't like to see the fear in their eyes when he went to bite them. If there were some way he could get blood without feeling guilty, I thought maybe it would be better for him. My problem was trying to think of other ways to get blood. I needed blood once, when I had hurt myself, and the nurse had put a needle in my arm with a bag of blood attached by a long tube. I wondered where the nurse had gotten the blood, and then I thought 'Maybe Uncle Peter would know where it came from.'

"Uncle Peter, where does the nurse get the blood from when people are in the hospital and are in need of it?" I asked softly.

"It comes from a blood bank," he replied; I could hear his curiosity in his voice.

"Is that like a bank where you get money from?"

He chuckled softly, "In a way, yes."

"So can anyone go and get blood just like they get money from a regular bank?" I asked.

"No," he chuckled more. "Only hospitals can withdraw blood from a blood bank."

"Oh, that's too bad," I replied and started thinking of other ways he could get blood.

"Why did you ask such a question?"

I decided he was as intelligent as I was because he needed to understand why I asked the question. The process reversed for me because I wanted all the ins and outs of the answers people gave me.

"Well, I was thinking about other ways you could get blood," I explained. "If you could get it from a blood bank, then you wouldn't need to feel guilty about stealing it, but if they won't just give it to you, then that won't work."

I wasn't sure why, but he began to laugh again. "You really are something special. I had never thought about finding a blood bank to meet my needs."

"Yes, but if stealing bothers you, then that won't work," I replied automatically while trying to figure out where else he could get blood from, and then I memory flashed into focus. "I just remembered something that might help," I blurted out. "Daddy hit a deer, oh a long time ago, I guess, but that deer bled a lot. That means deer have blood in them." It was a marvelous idea to me, so I paused sat up straight and looked at him. "Couldn't you get the blood you need from deer," I paused again because another idea occurred to me, "And if deer have blood, don't other animals? Maybe you could use them for your thirst, and then you wouldn't have to find people." I smiled as I reasoned this all out for him. Maybe, just maybe, I thought, I could be of help to him.

"Miss Bella," I allowed him to call me 'little one' because he made it sound respectful, but when he called me 'Miss Bella' it made me feel grown up and made me love him more, "I think you might have an idea worth trying. I will definitely try to use some animal for my thirst."

I felt very happy about being helpful, but then I realized something I hadn't thought about, "Uncle Peter, could you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Anything you ask I will try to do," he replied sincerely.

"When you are looking for animals, could you please not take anyone's cat or dog? That might make them sad if they lost a pet," I replied.

He laughed as he responded, "Little one, I will stay away from town when I hunt, and I'll only look for wild animals. Will that make you happier?"

"Yes, and Uncle Peter," I looked at him and then threw my arms around him giving him the biggest hug my little arms would allow, "I love you."

"And I love you little one," he laughed and hugged me back.

For the rest of the time I was able to spend with him, he told me as much as he thought acceptable for a child to know about vampires. He roughly explained how someone could be changed into a vampire, but he didn't mention how much it could hurt or how long it might take. He also told me how vampires only lived on blood, they didn't eat food, they could venture out during the day without the sunlight burning them, how they were fast, how cold and hard to the touch their skin was, and that they lived forever. Then, after our talk that night, I also learned that vampires could live on the blood of animals. Uncle Peter said animal blood did quench his thirst, but it was not as satisfying and didn't taste as good, but he was more than pleased that he could finally meet his needs without feeling guilty. I had at least helped in a small way, and that pleased me.

When my father finally announced we would be moving, I cried. I had enjoyed having Uncle Peter around for many reasons, but most of all because he didn't treat me like a child. He understood that sometimes children grow up fast mentally and that even though our mind was housed in a child's body our mind still thought along the lines of an adult's mind. His last words to me were that one day we would meet again, and that he would never forget me. I knew I would never forget him.

* * *

**ADDENDUM: by Alice Cullen (Thanks Bella for letting me add this.)**

_The night Bella told Edward about her Uncle Peter, Jasper, Emmett, and I had been in the living room discussing other matters. When we heard Bella mention she had been bitten, we stopped talking and listened to her story. What I want to relay is what happened with Emmett – something I noticed Edward omitted from his part of the story for obvious reasons._

Jasper had been talking about college possibilities for the following year. He wanted to begin a degree in philosophy, a course he hadn't fully perused before, but he also didn't want to travel far because he wanted to remain near me. Emmett had already declared his intent of staying at home so he could remain near Rose while she finished her last year of high school. I had been listening to them and Bella at the same time. I had been shocked when she began her story thinking the worst was coming, and I knew that Edward would be livid with any man who had touched Bella in such a vile disgusting manner, and the fact that she was only six at the time made it even more nauseating. What finally seized Jasper and Emmett attention was my gasp when Bella first said 'bit me.'

Before either could ask me what happened, I said, "Shh, listen," and they both heard Bella telling Edward, "Edward, listen to what I just said – he . . . bit . . . me."

"Who bit her?" Emmett asked mostly out of idol curiosity. I didn't think he had heard the beginning of Bella's story from his calm reaction.

"Another vampire," I replied, still stunned by the fact that at the age of six Bella had been bitten by a vampire. We all knew how dangerous that could be to a child, and with Bella's affinity for worst-case scenarios, I was surprised she hadn't suffered some ill affect from the event.

"When?" Jasper asked, but his tone registered the shock I had expected and felt.

"When she was six-years-old; it seems she wandered off from her parents while camping, and this vampire found her," I filled in what I could of the story.

Emmett began to laugh, "She already had a vampire encounter before she met us." I couldn't understand why he found this humorous. He knew the danger that such an occurrence could have caused. "Don't you see," he continued through his laugh, "She not only attracts accidents, but she attracts the most dangerous beings that walk this planet. My little sister is amazing."

Jasper and I both tried to shush him so Bella wouldn't hear him, and because we were trying to catch the rest of her story. "Emmett, just listen," I finally said, and we all listened intently to the rest of her story.

When she commented on how I had explained some vampire traits and abilities to her, I heard Emmett –although he chuckled softly through most her story – laughed louder again saying, "She already knew but said nothing; she's good, really good at subterfuge. I'm liking her more every minute."

Jasper finally had to drag him out of the house when Bella began reassuring Edward that he was the only one she loved. Emmett's laugher became louder as he realized that not only had Edward fallen in love with a human, but also a human who could present him with a vampire rival. Just before Jasper dragged him out, Emmett muttered through his laughter, "The green-eyed monster has bitten Edward. He finally finds love only to discover she might have interests elsewhere. Poetic justice never seemed so believable before."

For Emmett, the best part about the entire incident was how well Bella could keep a secret and that Bella was more unique than he ever realized because she not only knew what we were and made Edward fall in love with her, but she also had a prior vampiric encounter, and one where the vampire had actually bitten her. It is not that there are so few of us, it is the fact that we keep such a low profile that makes her encounters so unusual. Very few vampires who drink from humans are willing to socialize with them as this Peter did with Bella, and not only that, he was unable to make her forget the incident even after having connected with her directly through her blood. Before that conversation, I had always wondered if the only reason Edward couldn't make Bella forget his faux pas with her blood was a result of him not making direct contact with the blood in her veins, but since hearing her story about Peter, I knew Bella's immunity went deeper than that.

* * *

_**AN: In this reality, no ban existed on changing children because even children could learn to control their thirst and intake of blood from any one human. As Peter points out, however, the major drawback is that the child will never grow up, and psychologically that can cause problems in later years; Edward will address this issue later in the story.**_


	34. Chapter 34 Christmas

**AN: I claim no credit or ownership of the Cullen family or Bella. I also apologize for the wait – school started last week and it might become a hindrance once in a while, but please be patient and I will get these chapters out as often as possible. The nice thing is that I know what is going to happen throughout most of the rest of the story. I also want to thank my beta readers for their help in polishing the spelling and grammar errors, and pointing out the awkward areas. I also want to thank the few of you who have been diligent reviewers. I enjoy hearing what you think and I like your comments and suggestions.**

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**Journal Entry Twenty-Five – Christmas [1958]**

The three weeks before Christmas break went by in a whirlwind of activity. Between helping Bella study for her midterms and Alice's unending fitting and alterations of Bella's Christmas present, I had little time just to enjoy Bella's company. Even at night, although I spent the entire night with her, she was so exhausted from the day's events, that she promptly fell asleep as soon as she laid down, and even her sleep was uneventful. The fact that the nightmares had stopped, thrilled me, but I missed her talking in her sleep.

She did bemoan the fact that Alice kept her blindfolded during her fittings, and Alice had enlisted Esme's help with the fittings. Everyone in the family was busy with Christmas shopping this year. I know Alice, Jasper, and Emmett had all given Bella presents last year, but this year the Cullen family would celebrate a real Christmas. Mrs. Swan had already given consent that Bella could spend Christmas Eve with my family, and then she would spend the entire day with her family. The following morning we would leave on Bella's ski trip. Both Bella and Alice confirmed that, after much persuasion by Mrs. Swan, Bella's father had finally agreed to allow Bella to accompany my family on our trip.

Bella's excitement about the trip pleased me, but the trip itself filled me with trepidation. I had Alice on the constant look out for accidents that might occur, but all Alice saw was Bella having a wonderful time. Her reassurance didn't quell my feelings of disaster. Bella claimed I worried too much, and Alice declared I was out to ruin the trip for everyone.

Emmett laughed at my fears and said, "Come on Edward, you're going to jinx Bella into having a mishap and ruin everyone's fun at the same time. You need to learn to relax more and just have a good time. We'll all keep our eyes on her so nothing happens."

I just glared at him in response. He didn't understand what it felt like to love someone who was not only breakable but also so prone to attracting ways to get broken.

"I'm sorry Edward, but Emmett is right," Esme concurred as she walked quietly into the room. "We will all be there watching out for her. What could possibly happen?" She smiled reassuringly and lovingly patted my arm. "Just allow Bella to have some fun," she added before leaving the room.

Esme's comment made me question if Bella felt as if I were denying her the opportunity to have fun. I didn't want to ruin Bella's trip, I just wanted to make sure she was safe, but then I couldn't help but wonder if safe didn't equal any fun in Bella's mind. All her life, her father had been overprotective, and I wondered if she saw me as being like him. I wanted Bella to enjoy this trip, but was it wrong of me to want to keep her as safe as possible while she was having fun? I returned often to that conundrum during those three weeks before Christmas.

The last day of school was the winter formal. At first, Bella balked at attending, and then Alice informed her that the dress she had been making was intended for Bella to wear to the dance. During the final week of school, Alice coax and cajoled Bella into attending the dance, but Bella had stood firm in her refusal until the weekend before the dance. That Saturday she was staying the weekend so Alice could do a final fitting for the dress, and so I could help her to study for her math midterm on Monday. While Alice was attempting once more to persuade her to attend, Emmett walked into the room and commented, "Bella, would you deny Edward the pleasure not only of showing you off to the school but also twirling you around in his arms on the dance floor?" Then he added in a soft whisper, "Edward really enjoys dancing, but he refrained from attending all dances until you came along," and then he winked at her.

In a very soft penitent voice, Bella told Alice, "Okay, I'll go, but only for Edward's benefit."

After Alice left the room, I told Bella she didn't have to do this for me, but she told me that it would please her to do something I would enjoy. The fact that she had put my pleasure before her own only made me love her more, and to show her how I felt, I kissed her breathless.

Afterward, she said, "If that's what I receive for making you happy, I can't wait to see your response to the Christmas present I'm getting you."

"Bella, you don't need to get me anything. Now that I have you, I have everything I could ever want," I replied.

"Well, maybe after you see what I'm giving you, you will change your mind," she teased me by softly running her finger around my lips. "Don't give it up before you see it, but afterward," she pulled her finger abruptly away from my lips, "if you really don't want it, then I'll give it to my parents," she paused and tilted her head in a thoughtful pose. "I can't understand it," she murmured softly, "Alice said you would like it." She paused once again, and I searched her expression hoping to discover just what she had been thinking, but I found nothing. "About this test on Monday," she abruptly changed the subject, "What will I need to know in order to pass it?"

I tried to bring the subject back to her Christmas gift during the better part of the remaining day, but Bella obstinately refused to bring the subject back to life. As far as she was concerned, the topic was dead and buried. The only alternative left to me was tracking down my sister to find out what Bella meant by her vague comment. I had to wait until Bella was asleep that evening before I could question Alice.

I finally found her in Jasper's den reading a book while Jasper finished his college applications for the following fall. "Bella said you told her I would like her Christmas present. What did you see?"

Alice looked up from her book and frowned, "What did I see about what?" She asked, confusion written on her face.

"About the Christmas present she is giving me," I clarified.

"Oh that, well Bella just asked me to envision Christmas eve and the exchange of gifts that would occur, and then she wanted me to watch as she gave you her gift and to tell her if you liked it," she spoke as she continued to read the book still in her hands.

"So what did she give me?" I asked.

She looked up briefly as she replied, "I have no idea," and then returned her gaze to the book.

"What do you mean you don't know? If you saw I liked it then you must have seen what it was," I informed her. Besides, her visions were usually more specific.

"No Edward," she replied calmly as she glanced up only briefly from her book, "all I saw was Bella handing you a vague object with no real shape or form, and your response upon opening it was to embrace Bella and kiss her long and hard – at least that's how it looked."

"She won't tell you what she is giving me." I didn't need to ask it as a question because I already knew the truth from Alice's thoughts. "If you didn't know what it was, how could you see my response?" I wondered aloud.

"Edward, she already made the decision to give you a gift, and the gift must already exist even if I don't know what it is," she replied, once again without pulling her gaze from the book.

"I thought your visions were more precise than that," I commented, hoping to get some spark of interest out of her about our discussion.

Her interest lasted less than ten seconds, enough time for her to glance over the top of her book and glare at me. "Bella must have some kind of freaky control over what I can and cannot see about her, because try as I have, I cannot see what she is giving you for Christmas."

Jasper's deep chuckle rang out causing me to turn toward him. "Well, Edward, it seems that there is at least one person in this house who is able to keep a surprise from you. How does it feel to be in the dark like the rest of us?"

My response, childish as it was, was a deep growl as I stormed from the room. As I closed the door, I heard both of them laughing heartily.

Jasper was right though, I was not used to surprises. Anything I needed to know, I could instantly find out by searching the person's mind, but with Bella, I only encountered a dark impenetrable curtain. Whatever existed in or around her mind, had no real substance so I could find no way over, under, or around it. I also could discover no chinks in the barrier that held me out of her mind. To say I found it frustrating was an understatement, but I knew it was something I was going to have to learn to live with.

I was still growling under my breath when I entered my room; I had made little to no noise going out or coming in, but some sixth sense with Bella informed her that I had been gone and had finally arrived.

"You left me," she groaned. She was sitting up in the bed and I could detect trails down her cheeks where her tears had run.

I rushed quickly over to the bed seating myself beside her. "Bella, I was only gone a moment. You needn't cry; I was coming right back." Here I had been upset about not knowing a secret, but I felt guilty that my irrational impatience to know what Bella had gotten for me, had caused her to cry. "You didn't have a nightmare, did you?" I asked wrapping my arms securely around her and cuddling her to my chest.

"No," she murmured, "I reached out to you in my sleep and discovered a void that made me realize how empty my life would be without you. The pain of that realization made me cry. Edward, I can't exist anymore without you in my life. I need you more than the air I breathe; if I lose you I will lose the desire to exist."

A small sob escaped from her, and I gently began to rub her back in a soothing manner. I knew exactly what she was saying because I began feeling that way about her the moment I finally admitted to myself that I loved her. Without her, my entire existence would be a vacuumed void with no sound or light – I had no need for air, but to feel oneself thrust into a mute obscurity would be the epitome of death for me. I would exist, but there would be no reason to continue existing. I could very well imagine that Bella felt close to what I felt, and empathizing with her pain, I began kissing the top of her head and placed light loving kisses down the side of her head, on to her face, and finally locked onto her lips, all the time continuing a gentle massage of her back with my hands.

When I finally broke the kiss, I whispered, "Bella, I cannot exist with you either. I'm sorry I left; I'll never do it again."

Another sob escaped her lips as she professed, "No Edward, I cannot continually tie you to me while I sleep. You must grow bored just sitting here waiting for me to wake up. I cannot expect you to sit with me all night with nothing to occupy you; that is unfeeling and cruel of me. I just need to instill in my mind that you are not leaving me just the room. I need to trust you implicitly and instill in my heart the belief that you will never leave me. I need to be strong when I find you gone because you need your solitude at times just as I do."

I chuckled softly, "Are there really times when you wish I would disappear temporarily so you can think clearly about what a selfish being you have fallen in love with?"

She chuckled in response – a good sign in my opinion because it meant her pain had retreated, "You are anything but selfish. You give of yourself at all times. No, you should say instead that you need time away from your clingy girlfriend."

"First, I am selfish because I'm conspiring to steal you away from your human life, and second, you are not clingy – you're co-dependent."

She snuggled closer to me, and I laid down on the bed with her to help her become more comfortable, as she said, "How am I co-dependent?"

"Oh Bella, we are mutually dependent on each other for our very existence. We're like two spheres orbiting each other out in space, and our orbits mutually support each other so neither of us is catapulted out into the empty sunless void."

"I liked that," she murmured just before she fell asleep.

For the rest of the week, I stayed with Bella the entire night, and despite her concerns, I was never bored. Not only did Bella's sleep talking entertain me, but also her wriggling around also kept me highly amused, and sometimes slightly electrified. I also used the time to plan our future, sometimes the immediate future consisting of school and dating, and other times our future after she graduated. My first task, after her graduation, would be changing her, and then marrying her. I knew I would not need to plan the wedding because Alice had already started those plans, and when Esme found out about the upcoming wedding, she plunged happily into the planning stage as well.

When the night of the winter formal came, Bella was in a more festive mood. First, she had passed all her midterms including math, which relieved the stress she had been under while studying, and second, she had resigned herself to the fact that she would be attending another dance. I enjoyed dancing, but the only partner I wanted was Bella, however, I did agree to share her with my brothers. Other than them, I would allow no other male within two feet of her. They could ask, but I planned to glare at them the minute they tried to approach us.

I could only describe Alice's dress for Bella as dazzling, for that was how I felt, dazzled. Of course, even in the course of a normal day, Bella could dazzle me, but I avoided admitting that to her. Alice had chosen the perfect color of blue that complemented Bella's complexion, and the dress highlighted all her natural curves. As I stood dumbfounded watching Bella descend the stairs, I felt extremely tempted to spend the evening at home. I didn't want any of the 'boys' at school drooling over her, but as I thought that, I saw Alice glaring at me and knew my only recourse was to attend the dance with Bella.

I had been right earlier that evening. The entire male population at the dance noted Bella's arrival. Those who didn't see her immediately upon her entry, where nudged by other males around them. The thoughts flew at me from all directions; most of the thoughts where mild making compliments about her as a knock out. Others were crass, running the gamut from comments about her 'classy chassis' to comments about how 'stacked' she looked. A few were downright vile, and had it not been for the fact that I needed to maintain my low profile, I would have literally torn a few of the viler thinkers to shreds.

"Edward," Bella whispered, "Calm down. You need to just shut them out of your head because if you don't, then you can turn around right now and take me home."

"How did you know?" I asked in a soft tone trying to hide my anger and disgust.

"Your grip, and unless you want to break my fingers, you will loosen it," her reply was accompanied by a winch of pain.

I looked down and noticed that my hold on her hand had indeed tightened, and her fingers had turned a whiter than normal. "I'm sorry Bella. Does it hurt much?" All I could say to myself was, 'Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake.' I continually monitored myself around Bella, but when others distracted and angered me, as those with the depraved thoughts had, I forgot whom I was with and lost some of my control.

Bella beamed her radiant smile up at me, "Edward, let's agree to either have a good time or to go home."

I had a feeling she would choose the latter if given the choice, so I replied. "I want to stay and enjoy your company. I want to spend the evening gliding on air with you in my arms. I promise to shut everyone else out, and I'll focus all of my thoughts on how ravishing you look, and how wonderful you feel in my arms," and with that, I swept her onto the dance floor and managed to close every mind out of my head by losing myself in Bella's eyes.

With Bella in my arms, the rest of the evening swiftly passed, but I remembered every word, stumble, blush, look, and shiver of pleasure that Bella experienced that evening. I felt pleased when we arrived home and Bella admitted that she had enjoyed herself more than she had expected, and the best part of the evening happened after the dance. Alice, with her usual persuasive charm had arranged for Bella to spend the night at our house. Alice's clinching phrase was, "It will be easier on Bella if she stays the night with me so I can help her out of her dress, and I promise Esme will take pictures before we leave for the dance." If I didn't know better, I would say some of Jasper's charismatic charm had rubbed off on Alice, except for the fact that Alice always had a way of getting exactly what she wanted. It didn't hurt that she could see the future, however; it helped her to know exactly what to say to achieve her goals.

With the beginning of Christmas vacation, everyone seemed in a more festive mood. Esme flittered around the house decorating, and of course, Alice was by her side adding her own special touches. This was the first time that any of the family decorated our house for Christmas. Even Jasper and Emmett seemed immersed in the festive holiday mood. Generally, we found other ways to pass the holiday season. Bella came over during the day while her father was at work and helped when allowed, but Esme forbade her to climb any ladders or carry anything heavy. I found ways to lure Bella under the mistletoe – Emmett's contribution to the holiday decorations – and enjoyed the benefits of the small parasitic plant.

Besides decorating, Alice was also aiding Bella in her Christmas shopping. It seems she only had time to get my gift because of Alice monopolizing her time with the dress fittings, so Alice agreed to help Bella with the rest of her purchases. Besides, it afforded Alice a viable excuse for going shopping.

The week sped by more quickly than I had ever experienced before. In the past, I labored to find ways to fill the never-ending stream of time that faced me; now, with Bella in my world, time seemed to slip by rapidly, but pleasurably.

Alice had Christmas Eve completely planned. Early Wednesday morning, right after Bella's dad left for work – yes, I know it was Christmas Eve, but he still went to work – I arrived at her house to pick her up. Her mother was waiting for me at the front door.

"Edward, please come in," she greeted. "Bella is still dressing." She ushered me into the living room. "Please, have a seat." she seemed hesitant, and one brief look at her thoughts confirmed the fact that she wanted to warn me about her husband's fears for the ski trip.

"Mrs. Swan," I thought it might make her more comfortable about broaching the topic if I brought it up first, "I want to thank you for making it possible for Bella to come on this trip with my family. I have never seen her so excited. I was afraid Alice might ruin it with all her talk of shopping, but Bella seemed to look past Alice's plans."

"Yes, well about this trip," she began hesitantly.

"Yes, ma'am?" I said it as a question hoping to encourage her to continue.

"Edward, you know Bella. You've seen how things can just happen to her through no one's fault. I want you to know, that no matter what happens during the trip, I don't want you to feel guilty . . ."

I interrupted her by saying, "I intend to keep a close watch on her ma'am. I don't want anything bad to happen to her."

Mrs. Swan chuckled softly and then continued, "Edward, no matter how sincere your intentions are, you can't be with her all the time. I just want you to know that I will understand, but you should be forewarned that her father will hold you responsible even though it is most likely you could not have prevented it from happening." She smiled at me, reached out and touch my hand surprising me by not flinching at the coldness of my skin, and then added, "Don't let him intimidate you Edward. I know my husband can be harsh, but he does love his daughter." She paused at looked down at my hand where she was touching me.

I could hear her reaction to the coldness of my hand, but her reaction never reached her face. Her thoughts went instantly to Peter and the similarity of the feel of his skin and mine, and then she simply pushed the idea aside attributing the coldness to the winter weather outside.

"Promise me Edward, that you will not let him drive you away from Bella. She loves you in a way she has never loved anyone before. I'm afraid if her father scares you off, it will cause irretrievable harm to their relationship." She paused again as she looked into my eyes. "Edward, I know it does not appear this way, but her father loves her very much; he just does not know how to stop feeling guilty about the injuries she seems to attract."

Her wording made me chuckle under my breath, but I knew she saw the laughter in my eyes, so I said, "As odd as that might sound, you are right when you say she attracts injuries, but I can assure you Mrs. Swan that despite her disagreeable 'ability' and her father's wrath when I bring her home scraped up, I would never allow what he says to drive me away from Bella. You see, I love her more than I ever thought it was possible to love anybody, and I have no intention of losing her now that I have found her." I patted Mrs. Swan's hand as I spoke, and then I heard Bella's door open and close and I knew she was on her way down. Very softly, I said, "Bella's coming down. Do you want her to know we had this talk?"

Her eyes became serious as she replied, "No," and then she moved her hand off mine, rose, and walked to the doorway to the hall. "Do you have everything Bella?" Her mother asked as Bella descended the stairs.

"Don't worry mom; if I forgot anything, I'm sure Alice will have a spare laying around the house for me." She stopped at the bottom of the staircase, reached out to her mother, and hugged her. "Thanks mom," she said while hugging her.

"For what?" Her mother asked.

"For everything and especially for convincing dad to let me spend the day with Edward and for the trip." Bella released her mother and stepped back.

I saw tears beginning to glisten in the corner of her mother's eyes as she said, "Oh Bella, everything I do is for you, and I trust this young man. He has brought you out of your shell, and don't be too hard on your dad. He is trying to protect you," to which Bella made a face, "I know he can be overly protective, but we will work past that." Her mother took both of Bella's hands in hers and added, "You go and have a good time, and I'll see you later tonight, but don't hurry home. Midnight would be okay, and if you father says anything, I'll remind him that he agreed you could spend Christmas Eve with the Cullen family, and it does not end until midnight." Her mother winked at me as she clarified the last part, and I chuckled softly.

Christmas Eve day became a day of play for everyone; even Carlisle stayed home to be with the family. For Bella, the highlight of the 'day of play' was making snow angels especially, she claimed, since I was there to help her out of the angel form without her stumbling and falling on it to ruin it. The worst part of that 'play day' was Emmett's inevitable snowball fight from which Bella fled to the safety of the house to watch the battle play out through the plate glass window in the living room. In fact, Esme opted to join Bella rather than take place in the mock mêlée.

Everyone had agreed not to open Christmas presents until after Bella had supper, which Esme served to her at 5:00 pm. She figured it would allow Bella time to eat, her to wash up the dishes – with Bella arguing that it was only fitting for her to help since she was the only one eating, and Bella time to take care of any after meal human needs that might crop up.

Promptly at 6:00 pm, we all gathered around the massive overly decorated tree in the living room.

"Come on Bella," Emmett shouted, "I want to open presents. I haven't had Christmas since before I was changed."

I heard Bella chuckling as she appeared at the top of the step, "And I thought I was impatient," she chided.

Emmett leaped up and rushed up the stairs, scooped her into his arms, and sped down the stairs where he placed her on the sofa beside me. "You're right," he began her after setting her down. "I am impatient, and it would have taken you too long to walk down the stairs. Now, let's start," he ended as he resumed his seat on the floor by Rose's feet.

Bella chuckled in response to his comment.

In order to keep presents to a minimum, the family had all agreed to each buy a gift for Bella and then to buy a gift for one other person in the family. Alice had suggested drawing names but Rose would only agree if she could draw Emmett's name. Jasper then suggested we each buy a gift for our spouse, and since I would eventually marry Bella, Alice suggested that I give two gifts to Bella instead of one. I argued that Bella would become upset if I gave her two gifts, but Alice assured me that she would explain to ground rules of the gift exchanges to Bella.

Esme volunteered to shelter any gift left in her possession from prying eyes. Since we were all known to peek on the rare occasions when gifts were purchased, we all opted to take her up on her offer, as a result, no gifts appeared under the tree until that morning when Esme and Carlisle pulled all the gifts out and placed them under the tree while I was picking up Bella. Throughout the day, either Carlisle or Esme monitored the tree and its treasure trove until we gathered as a family to open them.

The only one in the family who knew every gift she was receiving was Alice; she also knew almost every gift that was being given to the rest of us with the sole exception of Bella's gift to me. For whatever reason existed, Alice was unable to see that part of the future involving Bella. She explained to Jasper and I that all she could see was a vague but large package, and the fact that I really liked whatever Bella had given me. Jasper and I discussed the block but had no theories about what would cloud Alice's visions; the two of us talked to Carlisle about it, but all he could offer was that perhaps it related to why I couldn't hear Bella's thoughts. His theory had to do with her isolation of herself from others as a way to protect her from being hurt; he was sure that in some way her mind kept her protected emotionally, unlike her body which seemed incapable of protecting her from physical harm.

While Alice knew every gift she would receive, I had a vague mental impression about almost everyone I would receive with the singular exception of Bella's gift.

Therefore, as we sat around the tree, everyone but Alice gazed longingly at the packages under the tree wondering what was being housed in them.

"Okay," Alice chimed up, "I'll pass out presents, and we will open them one at a time, that way we can see what each person receives and know who gave it to them."

"Wait," Emmett injected, "What if I just want to open mine all at once?"

Esme chuckled softly, "Emmett, patience is a virtue. I think you can wait and learn to enjoy seeing what others receive as well."

Emmett just huffed causing Bella to chuckle under her breath and whisper to me, "Does he always act so childish," which earned her another huff and a dark look from Emmett.

I whispered back, "Yes."

"Okay, just to appease Emmett, I'll start with him, and this gift is from Bella." Alice then handed him a large package wrapped in festive paper.

Emmett ripped through the paper scattering it all around him, tore of the top of the box, and pulled out a leather jacket. Emmett held it up, looked at Bella, and said, "Thanks." I had hoped she missed the small frown that appeared on his face, and his thoughts centered on why he might need such an item of clothing.

"Well, put it on," Esme encouraged him.

"Yes," Rose added, "I want to see how you look in leather." Her smile that finally swayed him; as he looked lovingly at her, he got up and put the jacket on.

"Mmm, I think it looks sexy," Rose remarked, to which Emmett chuckled and sat down beside her while she ran her hand over the leather.

"Jasper, you're next," Alice removed the focus from Emmett and Rose and handed a package to him.

"From Bella, it says," Jasper commented as he methodically removed the paper from the package; he was also careful opening the box before finally revealing the book Bella had purchased for him. "Thank you Bella. I imagine this will be one of the books I will need next fall."

I noticed it was a philosophy book as Alice chimed in, "Yes, I helped her pick it out, and believe me, it will come in extremely useful next fall," she added.

"I have no doubt about that," Jasper chuckled, and then added, "Thanks again Bella," before opening the book and beginning the first chapter.

"Bella, this package is from Emmett, Rose, and Jasper," she said as she placed a large box on the floor in front of her.

"Will anything jump out of this box at me when I open it?" Bella joked as she looked over at Emmett.

"Not this time Bella," Emmett replied causing me to glare over at him for clarification. "Calm down Edward," Emmett retorted in response to my look, "It was only a frog, and why should you care, it was before you would even pay attention to her."

"Well I do care; if it concerns Bella, even in the past, then it concerns me now," I replied while still glaring at him.

Bella chuckled softly and placed her hand on my arm, "It's okay Edward; no harm was done, and he did it in fun, not to be mean or anything."

I said nothing but smiled up at Bella. Of course, she would stand up for him because her nature compelled her to protect those she loved, and for some incomprehensible reason to me, she seemed to love Emmett even though he constantly teased her. Big brother or not, there were times when I would think Bella would sooner hit Emmett than defend him, but she would never even consider such an act.

Bella was almost as careful as Jasper as she opened her package, but when she reached the box, she exclaimed, "I don't think I can get through all this tape." She quickly looked over at Emmett as she said, "Very funny Emmett. What did you do, invest in tape stock?"

Emmett chuckled in response, "No, but I thought Edward would be chivalrous and offer to pull it open for you."

Without commenting, I reached over and pulled apart the two flaps that had more tape than any normal person would use to hold them together.

"Thanks Edward," Bella said as she pulled up the two flaps to reveal the gift inside. She pulled out a ski ensemble – as Alice would say – in a complementary shadow of blue and white that I knew would suit Bella's complexion well. "Wow," Bella exclaimed, "This is beautiful. Thank you so much," she said as she looked around at Rose, Emmett, and Jasper.

"Well, we could not take you out on the slopes without the proper outfit or Alice would macerate us," Jasper chuckled.

"No I wouldn't!" Alice retorted. "You might get the cold shoulder for a night, but I'd never crush you. Now Emmett, that's a different story – I'd find some other suitable punishment for him," she laughed.

When the joking finished, Alice continued handing out gifts. Bella had given Esme an architectural design book and Carlisle two leather-bound journals, which he enjoyed. Carlisle enjoyed doing medical research, and he recorded his findings in journals; he had filled his last journal two days ago, and I know Alice would have seen that and relayed the information to Bella. As everyone opened their gifts from Bella and thanked her, I watched her beaming smile grow larger.

Bella's gift to Rose surprised and pleased me as much as it did Rose. I don't think Rose had actually expected a gift from Bella, but as she opened it, I saw her eyes light up with pleasure. As she opened the box, she pulled out a plush black bear posed in a sitting position and around his neck was a charm bracelet. One charm hung from it; it was a heart, and even from a distance, I could read the engraving. It said 'Rose & Emmett forever.'

Very softly, Rose said, "Thank you Bella, it is beautiful."

Bella also replied in a soft but pleased voice, "You're very welcome, and I'm glad that you like it."

"Here, let me put it on your wrist," Emmett said as he removed the bracelet from around the bear's neck and clasped it on her wrist.

"You know, the bear kind of looks like Emmett," Jasper smirked.

Emmett laughed as he replied, "He does doesn't he." It was not the reply Jasper had expected, but after he thought about for a second, he too laughed.

"Give Rose her gift from me," Emmett stated.

Alice frowned and said, "After Edward gets a gift. He hasn't had one yet."

"Neither have you," Bella added.

"Well, that's different," Alice smiled as she spoke, "I already know what I'm getting, and I like the crystal ball on the platform Bella; even the inscription is cute."

"What does it say?" Jasper asked.

"Bella had them write 'The World's Best Barometer,' and you should have seen the salesman's face. I doubt he understood that she meant me and not the crystal itself when she said that." Bella and Alice both laughed.

"It doesn't seem fair that you saw that, but I'm glad in a way. He was puzzled why I thought a crystal ball could predict the weather, and I didn't bother to enlighten him. I just smiled and asked how soon it would be ready." Bella explained.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is that I like it, so thank you Bella," Alice replied as she pulled out a large package for me.

I could tell it was some type of painting just by how the packaged looked, but I wondered what kind of picture she thought I would like. I stood up to open it so everyone would have a better view of it. I meant to open it carefully, but after pulling off the first strip of paper, I already had a glimpse of the subject and finished ripping the paper without caution. I stood speechless and stared at the most beautiful portrait in the world. Finally, I opened my mouth and asked, "How? When?"

"Esme painted it," Bella replied. "While she helped Alice with all those fittings, she was mentally composing the portrait, and after the fitting she would go to her studio and paint. She took out all the flaws, but she does paint beautifully," Bella concluded.

"She had a beautiful model," I replied as I leaned the painting against the side of the sofa where we had been sitting, raised Bella to her feet, and kissed her in front of the family. I finally released her as I heard Emmett whistling, and then saying, "Maybe the boy does know how to kiss. I never thought he had it in him," and his comment caused everyone to laugh.

As I released Bella, she began to blush, causing Emmett to comment, "I never thought that color of red existed." Then he turned to Esme and asked, "Mom, can you paint a picture of Bella for me, but I want that same color of blush on her face?"

"Why would you want a picture of me blushing?" Bella asked.

"Well, after Edward changes you, it will be the one thing I miss about you. I never knew any human could turn so many shades of red, and to date, I have counted seven different shades so far," Emmett chuckled as he explained.

"Oh," Bella said as she sat down with me. Then she looked over at me and continued, "I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment."

I chuckled as I replied, "From his thoughts just now, he meant it as a compliment."

"Will you miss me being human?" She asked hesitantly.

"No," I replied firmly with a grin on my face. "As a human you are just too breakable, so I will not miss that at all. Besides, you will still be you, and as long as I have you forever, I'll be extremely contented."

"Okay, I have another gift for Emmett, so let's get back on track or we'll never finish opening gifts before Bella has to be returned home," Alice announced.

"It's from Rose," Emmett read the tag, "But it seems small. I was hoping for something bigger," he complained.

"Open it before you pass judgment," Rose declared.

Emmett did and what he found inside was a key. "I presume this actually goes with something," he stated to everyone in general.

"It's out in the garage, but you only have one minute and then come right back so we can open more presents," Rose said.

Emmett immediately leapt up and rushed out the door. I watched Bella's face as he left and I knew she was trying hard to observe his movement, but due to his speed, I knew she missed seeing him leave and returning. "Okay, now I know why Bella gave me the leather jacket. I'll take it out tomorrow," Emmett spoke almost as quickly as he ran, but I could see the excitement on his face as much as I could hear it in his thoughts.

"I understand you like what Rose gave you Emmett, but we are not Edward, so we have no idea what you are talking about. What did Rose give you?" Esme asked.

"Oh, she gave me a Harley-Davidson motorcycle," Emmett replied as he sat down, this time speaking at a normal pace. Then he turned to Rose and said, "I love it," and passionately kissed her.

Carlisle cleared his throat loudly before saying, "I think you can save the demonstration of thanks for later when you two are alone."

Emmett laughed loudly and then asked Alice, "Can Rose have the gift I bought for her?"

Alice had debated his request, but then decided to acquiesce since he asked nicely. She pulled out a small box and handed it to Rose.

"Well, since the garage is my domain, I know you didn't buy me a car," she commented to Emmett as she opened the little box. As she raised the lid, we all heard her intake of breath.

"I'll put these on later," Emmett said. "Just tell everyone what is inside."

"Three charms," she began, "One is a wrench, another a red rose, and then a little teddy bear with a ruby in his stomach."

"Could you explain their significance, Emmett?" Esme asked.

"Well, the wrench represents her mechanical skills, and the rose is obviously because of her name, and the fact that I think she is beautiful. The teddy bear, of course, represents me," he turned and stared into Rose's eyes, "and the ruby is my heart. I want to show you that you carry my heart around with you wherever you go."

"Oh that is so sweet," Esme proclaimed, and in response, Rose gave Emmett a kiss that seemed suggestive of things to come later.

I didn't say anything, but I suspected that Bella might have helped him with his little speech because it usually was not so flowery.

Alice continued to pass around gifts after that and everyone seemed pleased with what they received. Bella ended up with a set of luggage from Carlisle and Esme – Esme had called Bella's mother for a suggestion of something Bella might need for the trip and Mrs. Swan mentioned Bella's lack of adequate luggage to pack the clothes she would need. Alice gave Bella an envelope that had three handwritten vouchers in it. One was for a pedicure, another for a manicure, and the third was for a massage. Alice claimed the massage was for after Bella's skiing lessons to help rub out her sore muscles. Bella managed to say thank you, but I don't think she enjoyed the idea of any three of those treatments, although she didn't show any displeasure. Alice only smiled at her while she silently remarked to herself that Bella would enjoy each one more than Bella would expect.

My first gift to Bella was a set of books by Jane Austin – one of Bella's favorite authors. Each book was bound in fine leather. The last gift handed out was also for Bella from me. I had arranged earlier with Alice that it be the last gift given. My reasons were completely selfish yet I hoped romantic.

Alice handed the gift to me as she said, "Edward wants to present this last gift," and then she swiftly took a seat on Jasper's lap.

"Bella, this gift is related to something we talked about just after your sixteenth birthday party. You said yes to the question at the time, but I thought maybe we could make it a little more official." I held the unwrapped box out to her as she looked on in confusion. As I opened the box, I said, "Bella, you are the love of my life and I cannot exist without you. Please say you will still marry me and accept this as my token of commitment to you."

Bella stared dumbfounded at the ring inside of the little box. At first I feared she would say no, and then I noticed a single tear running down her cheek as she opened her mouth, took a deep breath, and replied, "Oh, Edward, it is beautiful, and my answer is still yes, but if I accept this, I can't wear it," and two more tears ran down her pale white cheeks.

"I know, because of your father's reaction you cannot wear it on your finger, but Alice foresaw that, so she picked out a simple gold chain to attach it to," I said as I lifted the ring from the box already attached to the chain. "I thought you could wear it around your neck and keep the ring hidden under your clothes." I held it out to her to see if she would accept it, and then waited patiently as she stared at it a few moments. I feared she was going to reject it as well as me. Then, she looked into my eyes, and I saw the love I felt for her reflected back at me from her. She slowly reached out to take the ring but instantly stopped, and at the same time, so did my breathing.

Bella's actions had so dominated me, that I heard not thoughts, and for me the room remained absolutely silent and still as I awaited my doom – Bella would reject my offer and my world would spiral out of control plunging me into an abyss of darkness for all eternity.


	35. Chapter 35 The Trip

**AN: Standard disclaimer is still in effect – Mrs. Meyer still owns sole claim on the Cullen family and Bella Swan. On the other hand, I own the new characters that enter into his story. Sorry for the delay – school takes precedent and between teaching and taking classes, I am extremely busy this fall. I will try my utmost to have the next chapter out in two weeks. Currently, it is half right, but my chapter run from ten to fifteen pages long on Microsoft Word.**

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**Journal Entry Twenty-Six – The Trip**

As her hand remained suspended a few inches from the ring, I was positive she had decided against accepting it; even though I could see love radiating in her eyes, I felt she would reject me anyway. I had no rational reason for this, just stark cold fear that it would happen. I instantly felt a hole ripping open inside of me, and if it had been possible, I knew I would have shed tears at the loss I was feeling.

Before I could pull the ring away, Bella said hesitantly, "Edward, I cannot take the ring." In that instant, I saw my entire world crashing down on me, but she instantly mended it by saying, "If you really mean this, then I want you put the ring on my finger for tonight. I want to feel what it is like to have you slip the engagement ring on my finger and to know that you really want me." Her words not only recreated my world, but also showed me a world I knew she would share with me for all eternity.

I hadn't been aware of it at the time, but as soon as she spoke, I heard everyone else in the room begin breathing again. I carefully took the ring off the chain, laid the chain inside of the box before putting it down, and then I knelt down in front of her and asked, "Bella Swan, will you marry me?" Bella's reply was a simple nod of her head and a cascade of tears rolling down her perfectly pale pink cheeks while her lips spread widely in a euphoric smile. I then gently slipped the ring on Bella's finger. Everyone then began congratulating us and Bella's wet cheeks turned pink as each member of the family hugged her. Even Rose gave her a tentative hug and said congratulations while examining the ring.

The ring had actually been my mother's engagement ring so it was slightly old fashioned, but it did have a lovely pearl drop diamond in the gold band. I didn't mention to her about the engraving inside the band, but I wholeheartedly shared my father's words. He had not mentioned the engraving on the ring when he gave it to my later. Later she shared with me that on their wedding night he had slipped the ring off her finger so he could show her the engraving on the inside. It read, 'I will love you even after death.' It was a fitting sentiment for how I felt about Bella. I was dead, in all physical sense of the word, but I still loved her, and hoped she would feel the same way after I changed her.

According to Alice, Bella and I spent the rest of the evening ignoring everyone else in the room.

"In fact," she stated, "I presented you with five different wedding plans and had you married off using three different ceremonies. Neither of you responded to any of them. Emmett even went so far as to throw in some rather descriptive ideas for your wedding night – none of which you heard or acknowledged."

Alice might have been right, but all I remembered was gazing into the eyes of the most beautiful girl in the world who held my heart and existence in her petite hands, and she formally and in front of witnesses had agreed to be my wife.

When Alice punched me in the arm and declared, "Much as I hate to break up this special staring contest, it is time to take Bella home. If you are not up to the task, I will drive her myself," she finally brought me back to the rest of the world.

"No, I'll take her," I murmured. My words or should I say the delivery of my words, however, confirmed Alice's opinion of the fact that I was not sober enough to drive – meaning I was inebriated by the extended amount of time I had spent just gazing longingly and lovingly into Bella's eyes. Because of my Bella induced intoxication, she had Jasper usher us both out to the back seat of the car and drove us to Bella's house.

I didn't fully understand what had occurred until we pulled up outside Bella's house and Alice firmly declared, "Bella, it's time for you to go inside or your father will send the police out looking for you."

"Oh, oh, is it that late already!" Bella exclaimed. Then she moaned, "A whole day Edward, I won't see you for an entire day and then some."

"But you'll have eight glorious days and nights," I noticed she emphasized 'nights' more than necessary, "to spend with him, and, best of all, your father will not be in spying distance of you or your actions," Alice chirped happily.

Bella probably paid as much heed to her comments as I did – no, that's not right, at least I registered what Alice said, I can't honestly say the same for Bella. With great reluctance, I finally opened the door to help Bella out of the car, but as we were walking up to the house, it came to both of our attention that Bella had not taken off her ring. She reached for it on her finger but discovered it missing. At that moment I heard Alice laughing, and then she said – loud enough so only I heard her, "It is already around her neck."

"Alice says it is on the chain around your neck. I guess we really did shut everyone else out," I chuckled as I gently lifted the chain around her neck to show her the ring.

"I love you Edward Cullen," she whispered as we approached her door, and I allowed the ring and chain to fall back below the neckline of her coat.

"Not as much as I love you Bella Swan," I chuckled again but softer, and then I kissed her goodnight before she opened the door and went inside.

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An entire day without Bella left me feeling empty, incomplete in fact. I felt as if a hole existed within me, and I knew nothing could fill that hole but her. Her father had more or less banned me from her life for the entire day, but Bella promised to call after her father went to bed. I had hoped he would retire early, but when Bella hadn't called at 11:00 pm, I decided to go to her house anyway, but Esme interrupted me before I could leave my room.

"Edward," she called up the stairs, "Are your bags packed?"

"Yes ma'am," I called back.

"Good, take them out to the car," then she added, "That goes for the rest of you as well. I want the car loaded before the hour is out."

I raced down the stairs with my suitcase and inquired, "Why the rush? We're not leaving until the morning," and then I heard the thought about an early departure and knew something had occurred. "What changed?" I asked.

"Bella's mother called me a few moments ago. She asked if we could leave earlier than planned," how had I missed that call, I wondered. I had been listening for a call while daydreaming about my future with Bella by my side, but I never heard the phone ring. "It seems that Bella's father may make a last minute decision tomorrow morning and not allow her to come on the trip. Bella's mother wondered if we could leave before he got up in the morning, and I told her we could be ready to leave by 1:00 am. So, let's get moving everyone; I want the car packed and ready so we can leave in one hour."

Of course, Esme knew we would be ready before then, but still, she was one who wanted everything correctly in place ahead of time just in case something went wrong and alterations were necessary. We were already taking two vehicles; Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice would go in one vehicle, while Bella and I rode with Emmett and Rose. Rose was not happy with the arrangement, but Emmett insisted on Bella being in the same vehicle with him. According to him, 'he had to keep his eyes on his little sister and make sure nothing racy was occurring between us.' I had not paid much attention to his comment at the time.

Esme would have made a good drill sergeant, and an even better general. Once she had a plan, nothing stood in her way of completing it. Once we had the car packed, she ordered everyone to the woods. She did not want anyone to be even the least bit thirsty during the first few days of this trip. Emmett may have lost the bet to garner this trip for Bella, but Esme had taken over the execution of the trip – it would be perfect for Bella or she would know whom to blame for ruining it. No one in the family dared to cross Esme, not even Emmett, but then we all loved her as well, so we had no desire to cross her either.

By the time everyone returned from hunting, we had ten minutes to take our proper places in the cars and drive to Bella's house. According to the plan, we would park a block away, and Esme and Carlisle would walk to Bella's house to collect her and her luggage. Mrs. Swan would be up with Bella waiting for us. Once Carlisle and Esme returned with Bella and her luggage in tow, we would pack everything in the car and leave for Colorado.

Jasper and Emmett had found a new resort that had just opened, so they decided it would be the perfect place to go. As Emmett said, no one there would know us, so we would not have to worry about our ages not having changed over the years.

Skiing was something Emmett enjoyed and at times so did the rest of the family, but over the years, it had become harder and harder not to frequent the same lodges a few years in a row. With this new lodge opening, we would be safe from encountering people we might have seen five or six years ago.

Just so we would have enough room, we took my 1957 Chevrolet sedan and Carlisle's 1957 Mercedes-Benz 300Sc Cabriolet. This was the first time I agreed to allow Emmett to drive my car; it would not have happened except I wanted to remain in the back seat with Bella and since we had arranged to leave earlier than planned, I knew she would need to sleep after we picked her up.

All the way to her house, I thought about how she would sleep in my arms curled up next to me. I had planned for this event making sure I had a warm blanket and a pillow for her so she would be comfortable and cozy. I wanted to make this trip as perfect as possible for her. I felt slightly put out by the idea that Carlisle and Esme would collect Bella from her house, but I knew that Mrs. Swan had her reasons, so as we waited a block away for their return, I envisioned the smile I would see on Bella's face as she slid into the seat beside me, and I felt anxious.

So many things in my life had changed because of Bella, and feelings were a major part of that change. Before Bella, anxiety was another emotion that I didn't experience. I just allowed days and events to come and go without any anticipation or excitement. I never felt a tightening in my chest as I awaited any coming event or day before, but now that tightening was an everyday occurrence as I waited for Bella to enter my line of sight. As I mentioned before, I never once experienced jealousy before Bella, but thinking she might elevate someone higher than me in her life caused excruciating pains of jealousy. How had I never realized that life was full of emotions and feelings, some extremely enjoyable and some agonizingly painful? Bella had opened up for me a world I never expected and even though it contained pain at times, I didn't ever want this new world of emotions and feelings to end. With those thoughts flittering through my mind, I awaited Bella's arrival, and the emotion I felt while I waited was one of fluttering in my midsection.

What I hadn't expected was to see Carlisle carrying Bella to the car. At first, I thought she might be injured, but Carlisle's thoughts preceded him, 'She fell asleep waiting for us, Edward, so don't panic, everything is fine.'

I chuckled softly at his comment, and wondered what her day had been like for her to become too exhausted to stay awake.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asked in response to my chuckle.

"According to Carlisle, Bella fell asleep waiting for us," I informed him.

"I bet it was the worrying that did her in," he commented and I wondered what he meant and what he knew that I didn't.

"Explain that," I told him.

"Oh, you wouldn't know about that would you," he replied slightly coarsely. "That happened when you were avoiding her."

"Avoid the commentary, and just explain," I retorted.

"Last year, when Alice arranged a trip to go shopping with Bella, her father became rather, shall we say, overly cautious. He wasn't sure if he trusted Bella in Alice's care and it became a rather intense situation for Bella. Her mom, it seems, was a rock of support, but her father, well, he made it rather rough for Bella from what I understand. Anyway, Bella became more than worried that her father would not only forbid her going on the shopping trip, but might also demand that she stop seeing Alice. In the end, it actually took a visit from Alice to her father, before her father would agree to the shopping trip. When the entire stressful event finally settled itself, Bella spent an entire afternoon sleeping. Alice asked her about that, and Bella told her that she had a tendency to over stress at times and that caused her to sleep after the stress was relieved. I bet this was the same, especially if she knew her father had considered canceling the trip for her." Emmett was staring out the window watching Carlisle carrying Bella, and his thoughts more or less reflected mine as he said, "You know Edward, Bella's father has a problem. He is more than over-protective and if he isn't careful, he is going to drive her way from him. You might remember that because if you don't let up on the 'protective parent' attitude, you could do the same thing," he warned.

I heard Rose chuckling in the front seat, and her thoughts were on the 'protective father,' comment. She knew that I had no fatherly feelings for Bella, but thought it was funny that Emmett was the one giving me serious advice rather than just taunting me about being too smothering where Bella was concerned.

As Carlisle and Esme reached the car, Emmett jumped out and helped Esme put the luggage in the trunk, while I leaned over to open the door so Carlisle could gently place Bella in the back seat with me.

"Wrap her up warmly, Edward, she seems a little cold even with her coat on, but make sure you unbutton the coat so she is not so restricted," Carlisle advised.

It felt slightly uncomfortable for me to be undoing the buttons on Bella's coat; even though it was a heavy coat, because of my sense of touch, I could still feel things I probably should not have felt through the material. I can't say I didn't enjoy the sensations the touch caused, but it seemed rather intrusive on her person especially while she was asleep. Of course, when the coat was unbuttoned and I pulled her closer to me so I could wrap the blanket around her, she snuggled herself into my side and wrapped one of her arms around my midsection. Her other arm seemed wedged between her body and mine, but I wasn't sure how to rearrange it or how to make her more comfortable, so I just allowed her to remain in that position until she decided to move on her own.

Emmett laughed as we pulled away from the curb, "I guess I won't have to monitor you much since she is sound asleep."

I just growled softly. Emmett might be the best big brother around for Bella, because he was extremely protective of her, but he could also be annoying at times, and this was definitely one of those times. His thoughts wandered around what he would be doing in the back seat with Rose if our positions had been reversed. His thoughts began to border on the graphic, so I quickly shut him out of my mind and focused all my attention on Bella instead. She had a serene smile on her face, and despite the fact that I had a wool blanket wrapped around her, she would still shiver now and then, but it wasn't too often so I didn't worry about it.

We had only been on the road for about an hour when Bella became restless. At first I contributed it to the fact that her arm was uncomfortable, but even after she moved it, she continued to move around as if she were in pain. Finally, she let out a low moan and whispered, "Evil, wicked, mean," and then snuggled back up against me and I thought that would be the extent of whatever had been bothering her. Half an hour later though, she cried out, "You're too cruel . . . wicked and evil . . . don't . . . not right . . . hate you."

Emmett had been through this once before, so he only asked, "Is she okay?" Rose on the other hand had never witnessed Bella sleep talking and she wondered what I had done to make Bella so upset.

"I think so," I told Emmett. "It's a bad dream, but I'm not sure what it's about."

At that point, Bella began muttering again, "No life, no life . . . your fault . . . hate you . . . wicked daughter . . . don't care . . . can't do this . . . not fair . . . leave forever . . ." and then her next words shocked me, "Peter understands."

I growled softly as I heard Bella utter his name; I had hoped we were past him and then she brought him up while she was sleeping.

"Who's Peter?" Rose softly inquired of Emmett.

"That's right, you missed that particular story," Emmett chuckled softly in response. "Peter was the first vampire who ever bit Bella. Edward is her second blood sucker," Emmett chuckled again.

"She was bitten? When?" Rose was finally interested in something pertaining to Bella, but it irritated me that it too pertained to Peter.

"When she was around six years old," Emmett replied.

Rose made no response, but her thoughts continually jumped from one consideration to another. Finally, she picked the one she considered the most important and asked, "Why would he bite a child? Didn't he realize how dangerous that might be?"

"Bella never told us why he did it. I'm not really sure if she knows why, and if she does, she didn't tell Edward about it."

I growl even louder at that comment.

"The wolves . . . did you see?" Bella was talking again. "They'll help . . . stop ruining it . . . I hate you . . . you ruin everything . . . leave me alone . . ." Her voice remained a soft whisper, but toward the end, her words became interspaced with sobs, and I felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. "No good . . . no good . . . go away . . . never come . . .," she murmured between the tears and sobs. Suddenly she lifted herself up slightly and wrapped her arms around my neck, tucked her head into my arm and murmured, "Save me," and then her tears slowed down, her breathing returned to a normal sleep state, and I knew whatever had been bothering her was gone as she slipped out of her dream state.

"What was that all about?" Rose asked, and this time she looked back at me for an answer.

"Bella talks in her sleep. I'm guessing this was some type of nightmare or disturbing dream," I replied.

"What did she mean about the wolves?"

"I have no idea. Most of what she says is disjointed and very little of it seems to fit together, and when she awakens, she will have no memory of it. That seems to be the way it works for her." I couldn't supply a better answer because I didn't have one. Bella never had one either, and I had asked her a number of times especially after some of her more disturbing nightmares. The part that held my interest was her comment about 'Peter' understanding; I wondered just what he would understand, and where was I within her dream when she made that comment.

The rest of the night passed quietly for Bella, but my mind stayed focused on the fact that she had been dreaming about Peter. I continually reminded myself that she agreed to marry me, she had my ring around her neck – I had checked to make sure the chain was still there with the ring attached, and that she loved me, but jealousy seemed to have no rational boundaries. It could rear its ugly head at the oddest times – and the early morning hours in the back seat of a car with the one I loved tightly holding on to me was one of the strangest of times.

Bella finally showed signs of waking up around noon. She began with her usual squirming; in this case, I think she was seeking a more comfortable position – she had finally settled herself with her head on my lap sometime around dawn. I always encountered problems during this part of Bella's morning ritual. Her wriggling caused her to touch or rub certain parts my body that responded in a way that would have made her blush, but she never remembered any of this, and I had noticed lately, even if I wasn't lying beside her, she still squirmed while waking up. In the back seat of my car, even though it was roomy, she seemed to wriggle even more than usual and at one point, her movements made me moan softly.

"Edward, it sounds like you are enjoying yourself too much. What exactly are the two of you doing back there?" Emmett demanded more than really asked as he viewed us through the rear view mirror.

Rose, out of curiosity more than anything, turned around to see what was really happening just as Bella moved again causing me to moan a little louder. Rose chucked at what she saw.

"Does she do that often?" Rose inquired. I responded with a slight nod of my head. "If she isn't careful, she's going to do some moaning of her own," she added.

Her thoughts said more, however. She began to imagine my response if I allowed myself to respond to Bella's movements, but before she could go too far, I growled softly, "Don't even go there Rose. I've seen enough from Emmett, I don't need your non-verbal commentary."

Rose turned to Emmett, "Do you think she does that intentionally to try to prompt a response from him?" She chuckled as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"It would be funny if she did. Quiet, shy Bella proving to be a real temptress," he chuckled but then shook his head, "but I honestly don't believe she is capable of such deception."

I was relieved when Bella finally began to stretch and yawn; I knew it wouldn't be long before she was fully awake. Despite the fact that I didn't believe Emmett's comment about Bella being a temptress, I did wonder what it would be like to be more intimate with her. To have her repeat some of her more enjoyable moves while awake and with true intentions of causing me pleasure, but I quickly pulled my thoughts away from what I couldn't have back to the present and what I could have, and what I wanted most at that moment was to taste her lips. I could indulge in that act without having to chastise myself

"What was that for?" She asked quietly.

"That was for a good morning; now I think I'll give you one for a good afternoon," and promptly kissed her again.

When I finally released her lips, she murmured, "Afternoon? It can't be afternoon," and then she opened her eyes slightly, but what she saw caused her to sit straight up and exclaim, "It is!" Then she asked, "What time is it, and how long have I been asleep?"

"It's nearly noon, and I don't know how long you've slept. You were already asleep when Carlisle carried you out to the car," I chuckled softly, and then added, "I imagine that you are hungry."

"No, not in the least," she lied.

"Bella, your stomach is rumbling, would you like to amend your last statement," I chuckled again. I wanted her to know I was not upset with her. "Bella, your human needs are nothing to be ashamed of," I said as I raised her chin and looked lovingly into her eyes.

A slight smile crossed her lips as she responded, "Okay, I'm a little hungry and it would be nice to use the restroom. I really need to brush my teeth," she added with a grimace.

"Emmett, there is a restaurant about twenty miles down the road. Please stop there, Bella needs to satisfy her human needs." Emmett just chuckled in response.

"You can see twenty miles down the road?" Bella asked with awe.

I laughed, "No, but I can see the sign that advertises it."

"So, Bella, do you talk in your sleep every night?" Rose chimed in.

Bella looked at me and then asked in a near whisper, "What did I say?"

Before I could reply, Rose informed her, "You mentioned that other vampire, Peter I think you called him. Seems he was willing to be more understanding than some else in your dream," she looked over her shoulder at me before continuing, "And then you mentioned some wolves, but we couldn't decide how they fit into anything. Most entertaining I might add. I never met anyone who talked in their sleep as much as you do." She turned around again before adding, "Of course, none of it really made any real sense, but still, it did liven up the early morning hours slightly."

Bella moaned into my arm as she leaned her head against it, and I could also feel the flush rising in her cheeks, but I didn't mention that. I knew Bella hated it when anyone pointed out how easily she blushed, and I knew how sensitive she was about her sleep talking.

As soon as the restaurant appeared, Emmett pulled in, and Carlisle, who was driving the car behind us, followed us into the parking lot. Emmett and Carlisle decided to fill the cars with gas while I took Bella in for breakfast as well as her other needs. Bella refused to hold us up long, so she ordered a fried egg and two pieces of toast and then made a sandwich out of it. She also asked for a paper cup with juice in it so she could carry it out as well.

The rest of the trip was uneventful, but I did have time to watch the camaraderie between Bella and Emmett. She seemed to know exactly what to say to make him laugh, groan, and even growl at times. He, in return, had the same affect on her. While they bantered back and forth, I had time to wonder how Rose felt about their blooming relationship. At one point, I gave Rose a look that asked her how she felt about their relationship. I didn't know if she understood at first because she turned away from me right after I gave her the look. Then I heard her in my head.

'Emmett had a little sister; I imagine you remember that. He talked about her a lot in the beginning. He really missed her. He used to ask me what Carlisle would have done if he would have asked him to change her, but then Emmett would retract that idea claiming it would be selfish and cruel to deprive his mother of both of her youngest children. He missed her a lot, Edward. There were times when he had been tempted to go back home and look her up, to see how she was doing. I had to have Carlisle help a few times to deter him from such an action. Then one day, Bella wandered into the family, thanks to you and Alice. Now, I do mean thanks in a good way. Emmett has allowed Bella to fill the empty hole left by his sister after his change. He hardly ever mentions her anymore, and for that, I will remain grateful to the human. At first, I thought I would be jealous of Bella, but I'm not. You see, Emmett no longer has bouts of pining for his lost sister. Bella has been able to help heal that wound in him. For that, I am grateful to her, but I still worry about her revealing us to the world for what we are. I'll never feel very comfortable with her around us until you change her. You see, I find her too breakable and too vulnerable to accidents to be safe.'

I had remembered about Emmett's little sister, but until Rose's comments, I hadn't realized how much he had missed his sister. I was glad that Bella could help him, but as I listened and watched the two of them, I realized he filled a space within Bella as well. She had once mentioned wishing she had an older brother and now she did. They complemented each other extremely well, as if they had been siblings all their lives; unfortunately, Emmett did have a way of bringing out the thrill seeker in Bella. Why else would she want to go skiing, and why else would he agree to take her. Emmett might be protective of her, but his protection did not extend to the point of wanting to keep her in a safe comfortable room locked away from all harm, and I was beginning to realize that in some respect I was like her father.

I have to admit, that realization did not please me, and I made myself a promise not to be that overbearingly protective any more. I knew it would take time, but I was going to force myself to allow Bella to have fun, and if she were hurt during the experience, I would do everything in my power to make sure the injury was as slight as possible. Of course, I also admitted to myself that this would not be an easy task as the next few days were going to prove.

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**I wish to thank everyone who has left reviews for the last chapter. You guys are wonderful and I love hearing from you – even if you are leaving a comment about an error in the story (maybe I should say, I appreciate those who point out errors because it gives me the opportunity to make corrections that my beta readers and I have all missed.) Thanks everyone – you are all great – and this applies doubly for my beta readers [I would name you, but I don't have your screen names saved – shame on me. :( ]**


	36. Chapter 36 Falling Anyone?

**AN: I do not own the Cullen family or Bella Swan. If you are still one of the few who is enjoying the story enough to leave a review, than I thank you for that. Reviews tell more than anything else about this story, so to those few of you who still find time to review, I dedicate this chapter to you.**

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**Journal Entry Twenty-Seven – Falling Anyone? [Buttermilk Mountain]**

We arrived at the lodge around 4 pm; Alice and Rose were the first out of the car and at the desk to register. Even maintaining a semblance of human speed, the two of them moved quickly. Bella, on the other hand, took her time. First, she had to gain feeling in her legs; we had been on the road for fifteen hours, so her legs were slightly numb. Second, as she exited the car, she stretched so she could work out the kinks in her back; she explained all of this to me later when we were alone in her room.

I remained patient as I allowed her to do whatever she needed; I was in no rush, and I wanted Bella to feel as comfortable as possible. I had no real knowledge of what being confined in a car for an extended time would feel like for a human.

As soon as she was ready, I escorted Bella into the lodge. Being in a new area of the mountains, I knew this was a recently constructed lodge. I could smell the fresh sweet scent of lumber and the newly applied wax on the beautiful wood floors. Every piece of furniture and all the decorations in the lobby also carried that scent of newness as we crossed the floor toward the desk.

"You must be Edward Cullen and Bella Swan," the concierge behind the desk stated.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"Just sign in and your luggage will be brought up to your rooms. You, Miss Swan, will be in room 218, and Mr. Cullen you are in 209. If you need anything, just ring the main desk and we will be pleased to serve you."

As a listened, I realized it was a rehearsed speech; more than likely all desk personnel were required to memorize it. In almost every hotel we had ever stayed in, I had heard something similar. I guess it was a good thing, but I always believed it would have felt more welcoming if the people greeting the guests had sounded more natural and sincere in what they were saying.

After we signed in and the concierge gave us our room assignments, he then rang the bell on the countertop next to him signaling a bellhop to come to our aid. He and a fellow bellhop picked up our bags and led us toward the elevators. It was a familiar routine to me, but I watched as Bella drank everything in with fresh eyes. It was easy enough to see that this was her first stay at an expensive hotel. As we exited the elevator, she once again carefully scanned the hall taking in the elegance of her surroundings; I had a feeling she felt out of place but I was unable to administer any reassuring words to her with two bellhops around listening. The bellhops ushered us to her door first, and before I left for my room, I whispered so only she could hear, "I'll be right back." Then I allowed my escorts to show me to my room. After tipping them generously, I showed them the door refusing any more unneeded assistance. I waited until I heard the elevator doors open and close before I swiftly left my room and returned to Bella's door knocking lightly on it.

"Oh Edward, you should have warned me. I never meant for your family to spend so much on a trip for me. I feel guilty," she had opened the door, turned, and walked to a plush sofa situated near the large picture window in her room where she promptly sat down – all the time talking as she moved.

I closed the door quietly behind me and followed her into the room. Once she had seated herself, I sat beside her and wrapped my arms around her. "Bella, a Cullen never does anything half way. Jasper and Emmett always book the best rooms. In fact, the rest of the family has suites because they share a room, but since you and I are not married, they thought it best we have our own rooms, and I think Emmett had already realized you would feel guilty about a suite, so he booked you one of the more simple rooms."

"Simple? You call this simple." She had raised her voice slightly as she spoke. "I'm sorry Edward, I don't mean to yell at you or your family; it's just that I'm not use to this lavishness."

I pulled her close to me and she laid her head on my chest. I wanted to lighten the mood, so I laughed softly as I said, "Bella, you have agreed to marry me. Soon you will be a Cullen as well; maybe it is time for you to understand more fully that this is the way we live," I chuckled more with that word. Then I clarified, "Maybe 'live' is not what we really do, but when we stay places we pick the best, and when we shop we buy the best including clothing. It's not to flaunt what we have that we do this, but because of the quality of the materials used in clothes, bedding, sofas, and the rest." I paused in case she wanted to add or ask something, and when she didn't I continued, "Remember how careful Alice was when choosing the fabrics for your clothing?"

She nodded her head, but made no verbal reply.

"She does that because of the feel of the material. I once explained that we have extra sensitive senses and touch is one of those senses. Anything coarse or rough irritates our sense of touch. It doesn't hurt us, but it makes us . . . well, I guess for a better choose of words, feel uncomfortable. I would compare it to you sitting on sandpaper instead of this soft plush fabric." I paused again hoping Bella understood what I meant.

"So you mean it is done more for the sake of your senses, than to show me or anyone else how much money you have." She commented into my chest causing vibrations to run through me from her words.

"Yes, exactly," I was relieved she understood, but was tempted to pull away from her because of the feelings being aroused by her vibrating words, another type of touch that set my senses tingling.

She saved me from being the one to pull away when she pulled back slightly and looked up at me. "So, your sense of touch is extremely sensitive. Does that include how things feel to you when I touch you?" She asked as she reached up to caress my cheek.

I grabbed her hand and began to kiss each of her fingers as I murmured, "Yes, and I think you have been aware of that for some time now. Your touch on my skin brings me as closer to heaven as I ever thought I would be allowed to go." To emphasize some of what I felt, I pushed her gently down on the sofa and hovered over her staring into to her expectant look before lowering myself even so carefully so I could cover her lips with mine, but still mindful of the fact that I wouldn't lay my weight upon her lest I hurt her.

We might have continued kissing on the sofa except for the soft knock upon the door. "Bella, honey, may I come in?" Esme gentle voice called through the door.

I quickly began to right us but Bella stopped me, put her finger to her lips, crawled onto my lap so she was snuggled up against me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and then lowered her head so she had it tucked between my chin and my chest. Then Bella cooed – yes, cooed, even I couldn't believe it at the time – "Come in Esme."

Esme glided in and without a second thought or look, she said, "I think you're spending too much time around Emmett my dear, but since I know Edward is such a gentleman, I'm not worried. He would never do anything improper." She quickly changed subjects, "I came to see if you needed anything, but I guess if you do, Edward can acquire it for you." She gave me a meaningful parental look as she added, "Have a nice evening," and then she turned and walked out the door closing it quietly behind her.

"You little tease; you did that on purpose," I scolded placing my fingers under Bella's chin so I could tip her face up so I could look her in the eyes. She had a playful smile on her lips and I notice her eyes were merrily twinkling. She had enjoyed every minute of that.

"I'm sorry Edward, but only if I embarrassed you. Esme knew we were behaving." Her voice took on a teasing tone as she continued, "She trusts you too much to think you would do something reprehensible. One would think you . . ." she stopped abruptly and sighed. When she spoke again, she seemed more subdued. "Esme said if I needed anything, you would get it for me."

"What do you need Bella?" I asked softly. "Anything you want, I will get for you."

"If I really thought that were true," she whispered under her breathe, but she never finished the thought. Instead, she asked, "Could I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of cold milk?"

She didn't have to say it because I knew she was slightly upset about the boundaries around our affection. I could not do anything about those boundaries because I kept them there to keep her safe. Whenever I was around her, I kept foremost in my mind the fact that she was fragile, and I feared if I ever allowed my emotions to take over they would block out my mind's careful control. Loss of control could lead to inadvertently physically harming Bella by allow things to progress to a point where my passion would overwhelm my sense of protection. All it would take was one squeeze too tight, and I could crush her rib. I knew the day would come when I would no longer have to hold back, but even that day scared me because I feared that my overabundance of passion might scare Bella more than my refraining from it caused her frustration.

In response to her request, I gently lifted her off my lap, sat her on the sofa, kissed her forehead, and said, "I'll have room service send it up as soon as possible."

Softly, she replied, "Thank you."

I watched her the entire time I was on the phone, and her body language informed me that she was feeling somewhat rejected. Everything had been so light while she had been teasing with Esme, but then she backed off after her comment about Esme trusting me, almost as if she thought . . . thought what I wondered. Did she think I held back because of Esme, or could she believe there was still some other reason I might hold back, and if she did, what reason might that be in her mind? I replayed her words in my mind while I talked on the phone. She had said, 'One would think you,' and then stopped. What might one think about my relationship with Bella? Everyone in the family knew how much I loved her, and they knew why I treated her so carefully, but that was my family. They knew the truth. If an outsider looked at us, what might he think about our relationship? Would he see it as respect that I held myself in check? It was what a gentleman would do, or at least did, I reminded myself. Times were different, I countered to myself in reply. 'How would it be seen by this generation?' I thought.

I was still pondering that when Bella's light supper arrived outside the room. The waiter knocked only once before I opened the door. I took the tray from him and tipped him generously so he would promptly leave, but I hesitated before closing the door because of his thoughts.

'Oh my, she does look upset. I hope he isn't trying anything improper.' He tipped his head just slightly between thoughts, 'No, she looks sad like sis did when that guy jilted her. Is that what is happening? Has he led her on and now doesn't feel the same way about her? Poor kid, to feel unwanted, how terrible,' and with that I did begin shutting the door and he turned to leave as I did, but not before I heard, 'I hope he lets her down easily. Scar her for life if he doesn't.'

His thoughts triggered one of my own. 'Could she think I hold back because I don't want her? Haven't I explained how careful I have to be?' I decided it would be best to tell her straight out why I pull away when I do. She has to know I do this because of me and not her, and the last thing I wanted between us was any kind of misunderstanding.

I sat beside her with the tray in my hand and began, "Bella honey, I think you might misunderstand some of my actions." She looked straight into my eyes as I spoke those words. I saw a flash of fear appear and her hand almost automatically grabbed at the ring that hung on the chain around her neck. Her reaction caused me to speak more quickly. "When I pull away from you, when we are, well, becoming a little more passionate than is safe, it is because of my lack of control and not because I don't want or need you." As I spoke the words, I knew they were the truth; I did both want and need her, more than I ever imagined it would be possible for me to want or need anyone – especially need with an ache that actually hurt. Pain was another emotion I was not very familiar with anymore, but this pain at times was intense.

Without pulling my eyes away from her, I placed her supper tray on the coffee table so I could take her hands. "Bella, I need you, and I definitely want you, but I have to be careful because if I ever lose sight of the fact that I could harm you by losing control . . . well, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I hurt you." She had her eyes still fixed on mine, but the fear was slowly draining from them. "I love you Bella; I will never let you go. It is too late for that because I couldn't exist without you. What you must realize is that if it was safe, I physically would take hold of you and never release you. I would keep my lips on yours so I could continually savor the sweetness of them. I would allow my hands to run all over your soft, warm body . . ." I realized I was suddenly going too far, so I reined my wandering thoughts in so I could tell her the rest. "When I was growing up, my mother told me that a true gentleman keeps himself chaste until his wedding night. He saves himself for the woman he loves and finally makes his wife. She said it would demean the experience to do otherwise. Now that I have fallen in love, I believe she was correct. I don't want to degrade our wedding night by rushing our first time together, but it doesn't mean I don't want you, or that I don't find you desirable. Quite the contrary, I find you even more desirable by denying myself some of the more intimate times we might share."

I noticed a few tears were sliding down Bella's soft, warm, pink cheeks. I lifted her chin just slightly so I could kiss away those few tears. Even her tears were sweet to my pallet, but I pulled myself back to my intended task.

"The other side of our relationship is the fact that I have to be careful that I don't break you," I explained. "Every time I kiss you, I want to lose myself in the experience, but then I have to remind myself to stay focused on your bodily needs that keep you alive, like breathing. If you stop breathing, I must remind you to breath, but it also means I have to remove my mouth from yours. In addition, there have a been a few times that I have had to remind you of other human needs you have, or you might have gone hours without recognizing them. In a great many things, Bella, you are still a child. I want you to have the time to grow into a young woman before you or I take any addition major steps. We have time Bella, we can enjoy each other's company without pushing the boundaries into areas we might both regret, not because we don't love each other, but because of the respect we have for each other."

There were more tears rolling down her cheek but her eyes were finally clear of all fear, and what I saw reflected at me was pure and total love and respect. I felt I had done the right thing by being open and honest with her. She had once said she wanted no secrets between us, and I knew I had given her the truth about why I held back as much as I did.

Being a vampire who lived among humans had always meant learning to control some of my baser needs, but never before had I ever had to learn to control any male needs; I had never really known they existed within me before Bella. Emmett once told me man wasn't born to be celibate, and I replied by laughing and saying that belief only applied to him and that many men remained celibate out of choice for many years. Emmett only grinned and retorted, 'One day you will understand what I mean, and I won't have any sympathy for you.' That day had come; love had ambushed me. In fact, it had ensnared me without my being aware that I was capable of feeling that kind of love for anyone.

Sure, I loved Carlisle as any son loves his father, and Esme, as my mother, had all the love I could give her as a dutiful son. I loved my siblings equally, even Emmett, although he annoyed me faster and more often than anyone else, but the love a man has for a woman that form of love died within me when I died. I had never envisioned it happening to me. I had the typical immature belief – it happened to everyone else, but never me – syndrome. Even if Alice had warned me this was going to happen, I would not have believed her. I walked blindly into loves trap and I had no desire to escape from it.

"Bella," I whispered as I pulled her into my embrace and then softly murmured into her ear, "I am yours forever."

She replied first with a soft moan of delight, and then whispered just as softly, "As I am yours."

I didn't keep track of how long we sat just basking in our love while holding each other close, but what finally brought me back to reality was the rumble of Bella's stomach. She laughed softly as she said, "That is something I will not miss after I'm changed."

I chuckled in response as I asked, "How do you know it doesn't happen after the change?"

Before answering, she placed her lips on my neck, planted long gentle sweet kisses in a line from just below my ear, down the side of my neck to my cheek, and then worked around the corner of my lip. It was the most exciting form of torture she could have inflicted, especially when she stopped just shy of my lips meeting hers. Then she spoke. "If it were true, then I would have heard Emmett's stomach rumble quite a number of times over the past year."

"What if he never allowed himself to become that hungry while he was around you?" I laughingly replied while waiting for what I felt was a promised kiss.

"No, I've seen Emmett really hungry, but even then his stomach didn't growl." Before I could respond, she placed her lips on mine, but only until her stomach began to growl again.

I pulled her away gently as I said sternly, "It's time for you to eat, and afterward explain to me why you were anywhere near Emmett when he was hungry."

"Edward, it was no big deal. Emmett had waited a few extra days before going out because he wanted to go with Rose, but she couldn't go until she finished some project she was working on in the garage. I was never in any danger, not from Emmett," she responded in a rush. Then she picked up her sandwich but before taking a bite she added, "You really need to trust your brothers more. I know accidents can happen and so do they, but we all watched for them. I think they watched you more than each other because I don't think they trusted you." After dropping that little piece of truth, she took a large bite of her sandwich knowing she would not be able to answer any questions until she washed down the peanut butter with the milk.

She took her time finishing her light meal, and made sure she had enough food in her mouth at all times so she wouldn't have to answer any questions until she chose to; Bella could be stubborn when she wanted to be. I waited patiently, and kept my anger in check.

'How could they of all people not trust me around Bella?' I fumed internally. Even before declaring my love for her, I was careful around her. I avoided her as much as possible, but in the one class were I couldn't avoid her, I spent all my time keeping her safe mostly from herself. I hadn't realized I was doing it, but as soon as Bella finished her last slow sip of milk, she looked pointedly down at my feet.

"Really Edward, there is nothing to be upset about, and if you keep tapping your foot like that, we will get complaints from whomever is in the room below this one."

As soon as she spoke, I looked down and realized I had been tapping my foot, rather fast and somewhat harder than was acceptable.

"I guess I'll have to be more careful about upsetting you," she laughed lightly.

"I'm not upset with you Bella," I replied taking her empty hands. "What I don't understand is why they didn't trust me? I never heard any thoughts from them about their concerns, and besides that, I would never have done anything to harm you. Even though I would not admit to myself how I really felt about you, somewhere deep inside of me the truth was evident."

Bella leaned in and kissed my cheek, before saying, "That is why they were worried. They knew you were keeping something from them, but they didn't know which way your feelings were turning. You wouldn't talk to anyone about how you felt, so they thought you were staying silent because you didn't want to upset them if you . . . well, you know – if it would have turned out poorly." She smiled slightly and kept eye contact. She was trying to read my feelings just as much as I was trying to read hers.

"I would never have harmed you," I declared vehemently.

"I know that, but they didn't, and my word didn't really reassure them."

"Alice would have known; she would have seen it, and Jasper would have felt it." They must have had a better picture of what I was going through than I did.

"No, it wasn't that easy. Alice saw too many things in relation to you and I, and Jasper said your feelings were in constant turmoil. At one point, Emmett suggested the three of them kidnap me and hide me in a place you would never think of looking. He never said where that place was, but Alice advised caution because she was afraid it would set you off and cause you to do something they would all have regretted." She must have seen something in my eyes because her grip on my hands tightened. "Edward, that happened the same week that Alice decided to plan the surprise birthday party. All three believed that they would force you to reveal what you were really feeling. You must have been very confused because Alice complained that your swiftly altering decisions were giving her a headache. I didn't know vampires could have headaches, and I was stupid enough to suggest she take some aspirin. Everyone laughed at me, and when I realized what I had said, I laughed too."

I could not help the chuckle that escaped at her revelation. They really had been protective of her; even if it meant protecting her from me, they were willing to do whatever it would have taken. The thought of Bella suggesting the aspirin also inspired my laugh. I realized I had nothing to be mad about; if they would have gone to such lengths to protect her from me, I had no fear that they wouldn't do whatever was necessary to protect her from anything or anyone else that might come along to harm her.

After having room service retrieve her dinner tray, I left Bella briefly; I gave her time to prepare for bed. I told her she needed a good night's sleep before we went out skiing the next morning. I gave her half an hour before I knocked softly on her door. I heard her murmur come in, and I did making sure to lock the door behind me as I did so.

Bella's bed was much larger than the one she had at home, but she still cuddled up next to me leaving almost no space between us. She slept all night long without talking in her sleep once, but her morning routine remained the same, and I could not help but remember Rose's words, which caused me to wonder if Bella squirmed the way she did intentionally. It was torture for me only because of the feel of her so close, and her movements rubbed against me in ways I had never experienced before falling in love with her. I resolutely set my mind to the thought that after we got married, she would definitely find out what her squirming like that did to me.

The thought of that day caused me to smile and chuckle softly, which woke Bella up because she asked, "What's so funny?"

"You are," I replied non-gallantly.

"What did I do or say this time," she mumbled into my chest.

Her vocal vibration on my chest was another action that I looked forward to revealing the consequences of when the time came. "You remind me of mole," I murmured softly, coming up with the first response I could find.

"How?" She asked. I doubt she had even opened her eyes yet.

"You keep burrowing into my chest. If you're not careful, one day you will put a hole in it," I chuckled in response.

"Not likely Mr. Granite chest. Why I do it is beyond me, since it is as hard as a rock, but it does smell really nice, and" she ran her hand across my chest, "It feels safe here."

"Okay, enough talk. If we are not careful, this could lead to an embarrassing moment. I hear Alice suggesting it is time to come and wake you up. Emmett is anxious to get on the slopes and give you your first lesson. He is convinced he will have you up on skies and skiing down the slope in half an hour."

Bella laughed, "What is Jasper betting him?"

"How did you know?" I asked slightly surprised.

"I've been around those two for an entire year. They bet on everything," she chuckled more. "Okay, I'm getting up, but maybe you should turn your back until I'm out of bed."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Let's just say my nightgown might be a little too revealing at the moment."

I wasn't too sure if she meant it was shorter than the ones she usually wore or if there was something else I didn't know. Being the curious creature I was though, I watched in the mirror on the dresser as she got out of bed, and even though my back was to her, I saw what she meant. Her nightgown was the usual long one she always wore, but this morning it had ridden up and I could see her panties as she got out of bed so she could pull the gown down. Being inhuman was a good thing, because if I had been human, I would have been the one blushing, but they were pretty panties and that I was not going to deny.

'Shame on you Edward,' Alice scolded from her room. How she had seen that, I wasn't sure, but I smiled anyway. Maybe it wasn't right, but that was my fiancé in the bathroom, and a small preview, I decided, wasn't against the rules. I just had to remind myself that one small preview didn't mean I could have others, and I would need to keep my curiosity in check from now on.

Bella took her usual half an hour to get ready, and I used that time to rush back to my room to mess up my bed and change my clothes. I figured there was no need to get loose tongues wagging if the maid found I had not slept in my bed.

As soon as I returned to Bella's room, I ushered her down stairs for breakfast. She had no sooner finished eating when Emmett and Jasper showed up.

"Are you ready sis?" Emmett asked cheerfully.

"Yes," she replied as she rose from her chair.

"Emmett and I chose this place because they cater to beginners. There are some very nice slopes to choose from, and none of them should be very daunting for you," Jasper informed her.

"Well, let's go then," Bella chimed happily.

Jasper and Emmett had been right when choosing Buttermilk Mountain. The ride up the slope revealed a number of easy short runs designed specifically for beginners. We chose the lowest and shortest run to begin Bella's lessons.

The snow was pristine and I knew Bella was impressed with the mountain itself. It rose majestically up into the sky and if she looked carefully enough, she would see what was obvious to my eyes. A myriad of tracks ran down the slope in multiple directions. They left geometrically crisscrossed designs in the otherwise virginal snow.

Emmett had informed us that a new blanket of snow had fallen overnight covering the past tracks of skiers who had preceded us in the past week. Since it was a newly opened ski slope, we had the advantage of few carved in tracks that would make skiing for Bella more difficult.

"Come on Bella; we'll have you skiing down this slope in no time," Emmett announced.

Even Jasper had not foreseen how wrong Emmett's expectations would be; we spent all morning showing Bella how to take a proper stance, how to hold her poles, and how to lean into her movement down the slope. Bella's first five attempts landed her on her derriere, the next five saw her tipping over sideways as she tried to push off with her pole, and the next three landed her face first into the snow, and that was all in the first half an hour. She constantly over compensated by leaning too much one way or another. The experience did not daunt Bella, however. She valiantly righted herself, with our help, and tried again.

As the morning wore on, Bella became slightly less valiant, and at one point, she was near tears, but Emmett teased her about ending up with ice cubes running down her already pink cheeks. It was enough to spear her on, but I watched her carefully. I didn't want her becoming over exhausted or over frustrated. What I saw happening, however, was Emmett's teasing and joking coming out at just the right time to encourage Bella to persevere.

She spent all morning trying again, and then, just before we broke for lunch, Bella actually skied ten feet before she toppled head first into the snow. She came up laughing and claiming she had managed to achieve a partial goal.

I noticed as she got up how the snow clinging to her face and a few strands of her hair glistened like small diamond chips, and I realized how amazing Bella would look in diamonds. The glittering and glistening heightened Bella's pale coloring, and made her face more radiant than I'd ever seen before. My thoughts began to contemplate a way to present Bella with a gift of diamonds that would sparkle along with her personality, while not spending anything on the gift so she could not refuse it.

While part of my mind worked on solving my dilemma of the gift, the other part was watching Bella as she smiled at all three of us and proclaimed, "I will ski down this entire run even if I have to fall one hundred times in the process."

That thought alone caused me to shiver, but not from the cold. I could not afford to bring her home damaged, so if she was going to fall one hundred times, I promised I would be beside her for each one, and I would make sure she suffered no harm from any of them. That was my mindset as we all returned to the lodge so Bella could have lunch.


	37. Chapter 37 Surprise Encounter

**AN: As before, Mrs. Meyer owns the Cullen family and Bella; I, on the other hand, can claim some ownership of other characters and most of the story line. **

**I do thank my beta readers for their diligence in point out my errors, and suggestions changes when something seems confusing; without them this story would have some nasty errors.**

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**Journal Entry Twenty-Eight: Surprise Encounter**

All four of us entered the lobby of the resort laughing. Not even one of us felt the morning had been a waste, and when Bella proclaimed that she had achieved a major milestone in her goal by skiing down the rest of the slope in ten-foot increments, we all broke out in a hearty laugh. Therefore, we were in high spirits as we entered the lobby, but the merriment was short lived.

Whoever said old friends are the best lied. Of all the places I thought I would run into someone from my past, it was not at a brand new ski resort.

"Eddie daring, what a surprise," her velvety but nasal voice gushed, and how I hated the sound of it. "How long are you staying?"

"Too long if you're here," I retorted sourly.

She was brazen enough to approach me and give me a hug; one I definitely did not return but stonily kept my arms at my side. I did catch Bella's shocked and hurt expression from the corner of my eye, which was unfortunate because Bella had no reason to feel any fear or concern from this encounter.

"Enough Elisha," I said as I pushed her away from me, "And don't address me by that ludicrous name." Her name seemed just as preposterous to me; she pronounced it with a long 'e' instead of a long 'i' – 'E-lee-sha' with emphasis, on her part, on the 'lee' sound.

"Whatever do you mean, my pet?" She was intentionally trying to make an issue of something that never existed between us. Her thoughts were a giveaway. She had seen me earlier with my arm around Bella, and she was trying to plant seeds of jealousy and doubt in Bella's mind about a past relationship that I might have had with Elisha.

"I'm not your pet, and I never was. Give it up Elisha; Emmett knows the entire story behind your offensive crush, and no matter what you think you might achieve, he will tell my fiancé the truth." I put passion behind the fiancé announcement because I would not have her look at Bella as anything but the woman I intended to marry. Age didn't matter at that moment; all that mattered to me was that Bella would realize I had no feeling for that overly pushy, self-seeking gold digger.

"Fiancé? Interesting, I don't see a ring," she purred.

Emmett stepped up beside Bella with Jasper right behind her, almost as bodyguards would to keep their primary VIP safe from all harm. As they positioned themselves by Bella, I stepped to Bella's side, reached for the chain around her neck, extracted it along with the ring, detached the ring, and took Bella's hand so I could slip the ring on her finger. Then I smiled at Bella and kissed her. While those actions occurred, I could hear Elisha's building anger. Her thoughts ranged from 'insignificant human' to 'pasty little twit.' Because of her thoughts, I shifted myself so I was flanking the opposite side of Bella from Emmett, and then I placed my arm protectively around her shoulder and gently drew her tightly to my side. That gave Bella protection on three sides, and for once, I was glad my brothers had followed us into the resort.

Before Elisha or I could speak again, Emmett growled, "You will do nothing to harm or upset my little sister, and I'm sure Rose will be extremely interested in hearing you are around."

Jasper added, also in an aggressive overtone, "As will Alice."

I mentally heard both girls as they approached. Alice had wasted no time in tracking down both Rose and Esme once she had seen Elisha's arrival.

"How could anyone miss that gravely nasal voice," Alice declared as she glared at her with a look that would have instantly caused the retreat of any human whom she focused it on. Elisha, however, was not as timid as a human was, but she believed in self-preservation above all things.

"Alice, darling," she attempted to make her voice as lilting and sweet as possible, but it didn't work very well. "I know we can all let the misunderstandings of the past be as water that passes out to sea and is forgotten," she held out her hands to Alice as if expecting a warm and welcoming greeting.

I was somewhat surprised when I heard Rose growl at her rather than Alice, but then Rose was highly protective of what was hers, and Elisha never took a hint well. In fact, in the case of Rose, one good hit to the face taught Elisha never to tread on, or near for that matter, Rose's territory.

"If you ever try to steal what does not belong to you again," Rose snarled as she wrapped her arm around Emmett's waist, and he reciprocated by draping his arm around her shoulder, "your pretty face will discover how scarred it can actually become."

Alice added, "We protect our family from intruders of all kinds," and I watched as Jasper draped his arm around Alice's shoulder, who had by then also reached his side and wrapped her arm around his waist, and he nodded in agreement with her.

"Although I do not condone violence," Esme said as she took her position on my open side, "I have been known to look the other way out of necessity, and don't think Carlisle will offer you any protection either."

I seldom saw the protectively maternal side of Esme, but right then that side of her shone brilliantly around our little group.

"Well, I'm sure I was only trying to be friendly," Elisha offered, but we all knew she was looking for more than friendship.

We had only encountered her once before, about ten years ago, but since then we had met a few other vampires who had experiences with her, and they all agreed that she was hunting for a mate, and she would steal one if given half the chance. What Elisha had failed to learn was that vampires mated for life. True love, in the vampire world, really was just that – nothing but complete destruction of one member of the couple could separate them and even then, the love remained for the one left behind.

As she looked at the united front that we presented, she mentally admitted to herself that retreat was her only safe harbor, so she said, "Well, I guess I know when I'm not welcome," and with that, she turned and left in a slightly hasty manner.

I informed my family, "I'm going to take Bella to her room now for lunch. I think I need to explain what just happened." I smiled down at Bella as I led her away, but she didn't look up at me. In fact, she remained quiet all the way to her room.

When we entered her room, she walked directly over to the sofa and sat down. I walked over to the phone to call room service. Before I could ask what she wanted, she said, "A hamburger with the works, a large order of fries, and chocolate malt." She did not look at me while she spoke or as I placed her order, and I knew she was somewhat upset because she only ordered or asked for chocolate when she felt she needed an outside source of comfort.

As I sat down on the sofa beside her, she spoke again, but with measured caution as if choosing her words specifically. "I take it this . . . vampire is an unwelcome . . . acquaintance from your past. Emmett and Jasper seemed, well, extremely protective of me, and I don't think I have ever met anyone who . . . elicited such a negative response from both Rose and Alice before. Even Esme seems to hold something against 'her.'" Bella made the last word seem rather unclean and offensive, which in all actuality it was, but maybe not for the reason Bella might suspect.

"Despite how this might look, I can assure you there was never anything between us except for the fantasy she herself created," I had planned to say more, but Bella finally looked up at me with eyes twinkling mirthfully.

"Edward, you don't need to explain. No one who has attained the wrath of your family as she has can be any kind of a threat to either of us. I've never seen Emmett so . . . well, maybe protective is a good word. He reminded me of a mother bear protecting her cub, but don't tell Emmett I said that," she laughed softly.

From down the hall, I heard Emmett say, "I heard that sis," but with a laugh in his voice. Bella's analogy actually made him feel flattered; only Bella could have gotten away with it; from anyone else, he would have taken it as an insult.

"Too late," I informed her, "He already heard you."

"I should have known, him and that acute hearing," she muttered.

"Actually Bella, he feels flattered. I honestly think he enjoys hearing you extol his better traits," I teased. I felt much more at ease now that I knew she understood that Elisha meant nothing to me.

"Okay, so tell me just what she did to upset the entire Cullen family," Bella said as she snuggled against my side and laid her head against my shoulder.

Just then, there was a knock at the door; from nonverbal thoughts floating through, I knew it was the waiter with Bella's lunch. "Hold that thought while I retrieve your lunch, then you eat and I'll entertain you with an amusing story."

I did just that for the next hour. I expounded on the entire grizzly experience beginning with Elisha trying to lure Emmett away from Rose, with the result being a fist to her face a-la-Rose style. From Emmett, she tried to drift to Jasper, but Alice foresaw the event, and then enlightened the family to the fact that she would target Carlisle next and then me. Elisha rationalized that since I was unattached, I would easily fall prey to her alluring charms. What she failed to realize was that I found nothing alluring or charming about her – a fact that although repeatedly told to her she failed to comprehend, hence a serious confrontation between her and the entire family.

My story entertained Bella during her entire lunch, and when I finally finished my tale, Bella cooed, "Poor Edward, chased after by a beautiful woman who would never cause you a minutes fear that she might be harmed. I can see how trying that might be for you."

If it hadn't been for her teasing tone, I might have thought she felt threatened by Elisha; instead, my mood lightened as well. I'm not sure what started it, but soon I found myself gently but aggressively wrestling Bella down on the sofa as I said, "You really find this humorous, don't you?"

Bella chuckled, "Yes, just imagine how hard it must be for someone to know a beautiful woman wants them. Much better than some klutzy, plain, human who presents you with a hazard a day to protect her from."

"You are not plain, and I would welcome your hazards anytime over her grasping clutches," I teased back as I stared down into her face. I had her trapped on her back on the sofa, and I relished the position because I knew she was within easy reach of my lips anytime I decided to kiss her.

A small pout appeared on her face just before she replied, "I see that you have not denied the fact that I'm a klutz."

"Bella, I love your klutziness, it gives me the only legitimate reason to wrap my arms around you in school. Anytime a teacher or administrator asks why I'm holding you, I can always say it is because you slipped, tripped, or fell, and not one of them will contradict that comment."

"That's sweet Edward," she replied just before she wrapped her arms around my neck and drew herself up enough to kiss me.

"I thought we were going skiing?" Emmett's booming voice injected into our tender moment as he walked causally through the door. "You should save that for after skiing. It's a good way to relax after a taxing day on the slopes."

"Easy for you to say, Emmett," Bella retorted as she looked around me toward him. "It's not like you'll feel taxed."

Emmett chuckled, "You're right, I won't, but you will. Of course, if Edward wants to tax your strength in another way, then I will just return to my room and lament our cancelled outing."

"I'm sure Rose might find a way to keep you busy," Bella chuckled in reply. She seemed so at ease with Emmett. Their friendly banter, which they tossed back and forth so comfortably, revealed a side of Emmett I had seldom seen before, and it cheered me to know that Bella felt comfortable enough around my family to interact with them on such a casual basis. I did not regret that she had time to develop a rapport with them before I appeared in her life on a permanent basis.

I almost chuckled as I watched Emmett make a pouty face as he stated, "Rose has gone shopping with Alice and they won't be back until early evening."

I may have kept my chuckle to myself but Bella didn't. "Poor Emmett, deserted by his true love," then she gave a big sigh, looked up at me and said, "I guess we better take Emmett skiing so he won't be all alone."

I spent the entire afternoon watching the interaction between Bella and Emmett. I had never seen Bella smile and laugh so much as she did that afternoon. Everything between her and Emmett was easy and friendly; there was no tension or unease on Emmett's part, and because of that, Bella seemed to be able to relax and enjoy the outing. As I watched, I began to realize that Emmett had been right – I did act like a mother hen trying to shield and protect her chick; in this case, the chick was Bella. I also realized because of my overly cautious, watchful manner Bella was not able to relax around me as much as she could around Emmett. I began to feel envious of Emmett as a result and reminded myself that I had no one to blame but myself.

The culmination of that afternoon's contemplation was the resolve that I would try to become more like Emmett around Bella. Of course, I first needed to ask Emmett how he was able to relax his protectiveness so it didn't show. I knew he was just as protective, at times, as I was because I saw an example of it once or twice that afternoon, but it was not as surface visible as mine was. Nor did he completely stop Bella from doing things that might cause her harm.

The best example of what he did occurred halfway through the afternoon. Bella had achieved her first run about one quarter of the way down the slope before crossing the tips of her skies and ending up face first into the snow. During her progress down the slope, Emmett skied along on her right side while I was on her left.

After righting her, Emmett praised her for what she had accomplished, and then explained her error.

"You have to consciously keep your feet pointed forward. Don't allow them to turn inward or outward even by a fraction or you will lose control of them. Think of them as wayward dogs on a leash that want to veer off to chase a rabbit." Emmett chuckled as he watched a smile spread across Bella face.

"Are you implying that I have big feet?" She joked in an easy friendly manner. I wanted her to speak to me like that; another cause of jealousy I realized, but then reminded myself once again that I had only myself to blame because I had not spent time developing the same easy manner with her that Emmett had nurtured.

Emmett's amused laugh echoed up and down the slope. "No Bella that is just an analogy. I could have just as well told you to imagine them as Edward and I trying to coax you in two directions; his safe and mine dangerous, except in this case, to follow either one of us would have still landed you in the snow."

Bella laughed in response, and I noticed once again how the snow glistened like tiny jewels in her hair and on her face. This sparkle of the tiny flakes emphasized and enhanced the paleness of her skin, and as I stared at the combination, I suddenly decided what gift I could give Bella on New Year's Eve that would cause the same glittering effect on her skin as the snow.

Bella's laugh pulled me back to the moment, and she was staring down at her feet saying, "Okay Emmett and Edward, you are going to go forward only. You can no longer pull me in two different directions, so play nice."

I felt as if she were speaking directly to me with that comment. I had been pulling her in what I considered the correct and safe direction instead of allowing her to take command of her own life much like her father had been doing to her all along, I truthfully admitted. I would not be like her father, I resolved. I would be like Emmett and allow her more freedom and enjoyment of life.

After Emmett's encouraging speech and directives, he pointed Bella in the directions she needed to go and encouraged her to push off, and as she did so, he and I followed right along beside her. Jasper, as usual, followed behind her at safe pace.

It was during that time that I watched Emmett's carefully controlled protective side appear. He did not stop her from falling; he just made sure she fell safely. For that matter, he also monitored the safety of the direction in which she was skiing. It was along that section of the slope that some obstacles made an appearance, but instead of stopping Bella, he softly spoke to her about what actions to take to avoid the possible life-threatening hazards.

He would say things like, "Bella, lean a little to your right, or Bella, lean a little to your left."

That was contrary to what I would have said and done. I would have said, "Look out Bella, there is a rock in your path. Lean left or you will hit it," and then I would have grabbed her if she were still in harm's path. The worst part is that I would not have said any of this calmly, and that would only have upset Bella more.

Who would have ever thought – definitely not me – that I could learn something important from Emmett, but that was just what happened that afternoon. By the time we finally agreed to stop for the day, Bella had managed to ski down the slope in quarters – twice. In quarters, I mean she would ski a quarter of the way down before falling, then she would pick herself up and ski another quarter before falling again. For her that was two major accomplishments; she had learned how to get up after falling down, and she was able to ski a complete quarter of the slope before toppling over.

We all entered the lodge ready for a celebration. Bella had learned that the lobby had an open fire pit and had requested the family to meet around it for a time that evening. Everyone had agreed including Rose, and as I led Bella toward the open pit she was excitedly talking about what she hoped to accomplish the next day on the slopes.

As we sat around the pit, I watched as the firelight reflected off Bella's glowing face while she animatedly recounted her ski lesson of the day to the rest of the family. It wasn't until she was finished that Carlisle spoke to her about Elisha. He wanted to reassure her that there had never been anything between that female and I, but Bella kindly and politely informed him that she never thought any differently. When asked why, by Alice, Bella responded with similar words that she had said to me earlier.

"I do not feel that any one who has attained the wrath of your family as she has can present any kind of wedge that might come between Edward and me. Even though she is gorgeous, I believe Edward when he says there was never anything between them."

"I'm very glad to hear that," Carlisle responded, "I want you to know Bella that not all vampires are like her. Most can be very pleasant, but once in awhile, there are those who are less than pleased with their existence, and those few seem determined to make others around them as miserable as they are."

"I guess I can kind of understand her motivation. It must be very lonely when you have no one to share anything with." Bella scanned all of our faces carefully before adding, "You have all been lucky to have found each other and to have found someone whom you can love must be even more special for you." She looked directly at me as she continued, "Even Edward has finally found someone he believes deserves his love, even though I, at times, feel less than deserving." She must have known that I was going to protest because she placed her fingers on my lips. "I'm not saying I don't believe you love me, because I'm becoming more confident that you really mean what you say. I'm just saying, I don't always feel deserving of your committed love, just like you seem to feel undeserving of mine. I guess we are just two obstinate people who do not see our own worth." She chuckled softly at the last part while Emmett's laugh was garish.

"That sounds just about right," Emmett chortled. "One day that may change but only if the two of you stop being so stubborn. I always knew Edward was pigheaded, but I have more hope for you Bella. You're still young, you can change, but Edward, he has been this way since the day I met him. All I can hope is that you are his catalyst for change."

"That's a big word for you Emmett." I quipped. "Are you sure you know what it means?"

"Ha ha, I may not use them often, but you know as well as I that I know just as many words as you do." He paused as he chuckled again before adding, "Actually, I probably know more words than you, since you don't see fit to learn the slang that runs rampant at different times."

"That is because I do not consider them appropriate English, and in truth, I have no use for them in my everyday language."

"You two can argue what is or isn't appropriate English, Jasper and I are going to our room to plan out our day tomorrow," Alice informed us as she rose to leave. She then reached out for Jasper's hand for him to accompany her.

"Does this mean you won't be joining us on the slopes tomorrow?" Bella asked.

Jasper chuckled, "You're improving Bella; I don't think you need three of us crowding you any longer, so I'm going shopping with Alice tomorrow," he chuckled again as she used her elbow to jab him in the ribs. "Let me amend that," he laughed again. "I'll accompany her to Denver where she and Rose will go fashion shopping while I make the rounds of the bookstores."

"Well, I hope you have a good day," Bella offered as Jasper rose and followed Alice back to the lobby.

"I think we should join them Emmett. I need to find out how early in the morning we will be leaving," Rose said as she too got up to follow Jasper and Alice. When Emmett did not immediately join her, Rose tugged on his arm.

"I guess I'll see both of you tomorrow," Emmett said as he rose to follow his impatient wife.

"I think it is time for Bella to get some sleep," Esme noted as she got up and walked over toward us. "She is not use to all of the physical activity involved in skiing," she turned directly to Bella, "I think you'll find you are really more exhausted than you realize, my dear. A good night's sleep will help." She then kissed Bella on the cheek before facing me. "Take her to her room Edward." Then she and Carlisle also left.

"Come on Bella, Esme is more than likely correct. You do look somewhat exhausted." I got up and offered her my hand.

As she rose, she tottered slightly on her legs and then said, "I guess I am more tired than I realized."

I held her arm as I walked her to the elevators and then to her room. At her door, I meant to turn and leave so she could get ready for bed, but she held my arm and said, "Please come in Edward, I'm too tired to do much but change and collapse," so I followed her into her room.

She was correct about the exhaustion; she spent less than five minutes in the bathroom before she emerged, walked directly to the bed, and literally fell on it. I helped tuck her in and then lay down beside her; she had fallen asleep before I had even finished tucking her in. It was a quiet night; Bella didn't murmur or move once throughout the night.

The next morning, Bella was more than ready to tackle the slopes. She took less time waking up, getting ready, and eating breakfast. In fact, if I hadn't persuaded her otherwise, she would have skipped breakfast altogether. Only Emmett accompanied us to the slopes, and we spent the morning encouraging Bella each time she fell down. She accepted it all with a good sense of humor and was determined not to give up until she mastered the concept of maintaining her balance while skiing down the hill.

By the time I called a halt to the lessons for lunch, Bella had managed to make it half way down the slope without falling, and while walking back to the lodge, without Bella's knowledge, I asked Emmett if he would allow me to be alone with Bella for the afternoon. When asked why, I laughingly explained to him how I wanted to try to be less suffocatingly protective of Bella while she undertook her attempt to ski the entire run without falling down or hitting anything or anyone. Emmett laughed at my explanation but agreed that I did need as much practice with my task as Bella did with hers. So, right after lunch, Bella and I went back up the hill and we both worked on honing our particular skills. Bella was a little more successful than I was. I still wanted to jump in and prevent her falls, but I continually reminded myself that she wouldn't succeed if I stopped her, and I willingly admit that mental anguish was my constant companion that afternoon, but before the afternoon waned, I had at least succeeded in keeping my 'mother-hen' protectiveness in check. I only once stepped in to prevent a collision between Bella and a tree, but otherwise, I forced myself to allow her to fall, trip, and otherwise end up face first in the snow.

She did have one minor encounter with a pine tree that I also forcibly refrained myself from preventing. Consequently, Bella ended up with a few little scratches on her face from the pine branch as it roughly caressed her cheek. Maybe I should have prevented that one, but I used it as a test to see if I could restrain myself from interfering.

Afterward, I apologized profusely, but Bella only laughed and said, "Edward, that was minor. I'm proud of the way you allowed me to meet my fate without intervening. I've watched you today, and I know it has been hard for you not to step in when minor accidents happen, but I'm touched that you are trying so hard for my sake."

She then leaned toward me and kissed me; unfortunately, in the process of leaning into to me, she lost her balance and toppled over taking me with her.

"You did that on purpose," she teased as she lay facing me in the snow.

"I'm not the one who lost her balance," I chortled in response.

"No, you're not, but you didn't stop us from falling," she retorted still with a humorous laugh.

"You're right," I admitted. "I must confess, I wanted to know what it would feel like to laze in the snow while we kissed," and to gain the full affect, I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close, and kissed her.

"Hey, look out," someone yelled as he skied past us.

"That was nice despite the interruption," Bella commented as I released her so I could help her up.

"Um, very nice," I agreed. "Maybe we could try that again but someplace more private," I suggested.

"I'd like that, but not until I ski down this stupid slope without falling," Bella laughed.

"As you wish, Miss Swan," I replied holding my hand out toward her so I could put her back on course.

We did spend our time seriously after that, and by late afternoon, Bella finally made it down the run without falling down. It wasn't a graceful run by any means, but at least she stayed upright the entire time. She requested one more run before we stopped for the day and I agreed. I stayed close to her on the way down, but about halfway, I heard my family gathering at the bottom of the slope. It seemed Alice had seen Bella's success and suggested the family gather at the bottom of the hill to celebrate her triumphant safe arrival at the end of the run.

Bella had focused all her attention on her feet and balance so she didn't notice the family until she reached the bottom of the hill. She later mentioned it was good that her attention was elsewhere or she would have become overly nervous knowing everyone was watching her.

After supper, we once again gathered around the fire pit and recounted our day for each other. Bella's flare at story telling once again revealed itself as she recounted the day's events. Emmett winked at me when Bella explained how patient I had been with her, and that I only stopped her from one extremely dangerous accident. Emmett sent a silent congratulation on my being able to curb a large extent of my protectiveness toward Bella, and Esme smiled at me encouragingly as she pondered how hard it must have really been for me to curb what, in my case, she considered a natural tendency.

Alice was the one I watched the most; she had a sly smile present whenever Bella was not looking at her, but she kept her thoughts cloaked somehow so I could not hear them. I knew she was planning something, and I was sure that it somehow related to Bella. Alice tried hardest to keep her thoughts from me anytime she arranged for a surprise for Bella. Since I had no inkling of what the surprise was, I decided to bide my time and wait.

It was nearing midnight when everyone began to say goodnight, but just before Alice left, she turned to Bella and announced. "Rose and I have a surprise for you tomorrow afternoon, so don't plan anything for after lunch."

"What kind of surprise?" Bella asked skeptically knowing that most of Alice's surprise dealt with clothing or shopping.

"Don't worry Bella," she assured her, "You'll like this surprise," and before Bella could say or ask anything else, Alice disappeared.

"Edward," Bella began as we lay in her bed moments later after she had preformed her usual nightly routine, "Do you have any idea what form Alice's surprise may take?"

"None, she has closed off her thoughts to me tonight." I had no encouraging or enlightening words for her because Alice had kept her plans behind a mental wall I could not hear through, and she refused to let anything slip about what her surprise for Bella was.

"Edward, I'm scared. I don't want to spend any of my lovely vacation trying on clothes or makeup, and I definitely don't want my hair cut," she snuggled against me as she spoke causing waves of warmth to wash over my body.

Her last comment however surprised me. I had no idea that Alice had any kind of plans about having Bella's hair cut; that was one surprise I would stop before it ever started. "Whatever this surprise is, I'm going with you, and don't worry, nobody is allowed to cut your hair," I declared with determination.

"Thank you Edward, I'll feel much safer with you along," she murmured just before she fell asleep.

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_**AN: I personally want to thank SamiLea, Viper003, Noble Korhedron, and graciousplum for being my most consistant reviewers. Your reviews really mean a lot to me, and I hope to hear for others as this story continues. I want to know what others think of this story, and especially if the story is interesting enough for me to continue.**_

_**Twenty-seven people have read this chapter since I posted it on Oct. 9th, and not one of them left a review. Was the chapter really that bad? Is the story getting boring? Just wondering.**_


	38. Chapter 38 The Massage

_**AN: Disclaimer is the same as every chapter. I cannot claim ownership to the Cullen family or Bella, but I can claim ownership the Aleksey, and unfortunately Elisha – who will both be around for at least two more chapters.**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to those intrepid fans that continue to submit reviews, and if it were not for those few, I would have stopped posting on this site two months ago, so you need to thank them for the continuation.**_

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**Journal Entry Twenty-Nine: The Massage**

The next morning Emmett and I both took Bella up the slopes and took turns following her down. On her first run, she fell twice, but after that she managed to stay upright, although a little unstable at times. Still, she was doing better than on her first day. After her fifth run, she admitted she was becoming tired and felt a little sore, which didn't surprise me because she had been using muscles in a way that were unfamiliar to her body. On her last run down, Emmett and I both shadowed her, but it was a good final run for the day.

As we walked toward the lodge, I noticed Bella's flushed pink cheeks, glittering eyes, red but slightly chapped lips, and her easy gait. Bella's face glowed with excitement, fervor, and self-esteem; she was proud of the fact that she had accomplished something she had never had the opportunity to try before. Watching her excitement made my heart swell with joy because I helped her to achieve the desire that brought us to this mountain resort. At that moment, I didn't know if I could have loved her more if I had tried.

"I can't thank you enough for giving me this gift," she was telling Emmett. "I've never had so much fun without suffering some serious accident. Maybe my bad luck is changing," she added wistfully.

"Well, you did win the bet; so part of the credit for this trip goes to you. If you had asked for something else, I would have gladly given that to you as well," Emmett replied enthusiastically, and he meant every word of it. From his thoughts, I knew that he too felt extremely pleased that he had been able to fulfill Bella's wish.

Had I not known that Emmett's emotions and feeling toward Bella were based solely on his brotherly love for her, I could have allowed jealousy to flare up and lash out at him. Nevertheless, I did know his true feelings, and by listening to his thoughts, I was even more aware of the brotherly love, concern, and pleasure that he felt about her being able to achieve a goal she had shared with him.

"You don't think Alice is waiting to drag me off kicking and screaming to some clothing store, do you?" Bella had turned toward me as we approached the lodge. Her face reflected her deep horror at such an idea.

"I honestly cannot answer that Bella. Alice has closed her mind off to me with a vast array of trivial tripe." I could offer her no comfort or reassurance about Alice's plans.

"If it's helps any," Emmett added, "Rose never mentioned shopping to me, but she did say I needed to be around this afternoon for the surprise. She must know something because I have a feeling that what ever it is, I have to go along, and Rose knows how I feel about most clothing stores."

Even I knew how Emmett felt but only because his thoughts were always loud and clear on the prospect. In fact, there was only one variety of clothing store he would consent to enter, and that, of course, was a lingerie store to help Rose make selections that would please both of them.

"I promise I will not leave your side no matter what Alice plans to surprise you with," I offered again.

"You realize that I am going to hold you to that no matter what she might have planned," Bella said with a large grin, and that comment caused to Emmett to laugh.

"You need to be more careful about what you say, Edward. There are some places where, at this point in your relationship, you would not want to follow Bella, or you might not be allowed to follow her," he slapped me on the back as he spoke, but he added a few visuals with his comment such as the 'Ladies' room, a sauna, and a dressing room. He was right of course; two of those options I would not be allowed into, and the third I would refrain from entering for modesty's sake.

Bella chuckled softly, "Emmett's visuals must have been extremely revealing." I wasn't sure what she meant about that since Emmett hadn't been as graphic as I knew he could be.

Emmett clarified the matter as he chuckled and added, "You should see your face. It's a good thing you can't blush or I bet you would." He turned thoughtful for a minute, and the added, "I wonder if you would turn as red as Bella?"

Bella stopped walking and scrutinized me, "It would be interesting to see what you would look like if you could blush," she offered with a slight smile. Her smile made me forget Emmett's remarks; with that smile, my instincts commanded me to give her anything she wanted. It was a shame that in that instant I could not fulfill her impossible request.

I did chuckle at her facial expression, however, because it seemingly caused her face to glow as she stared at me in thought. I could just imagine her trying to picture me with a blush. I could have gazed upon her beauty all day, but her stomach finally brought me out of my thoughts when it rumbled.

"I think it is time I took you to lunch." Responding to her stomach broke my reverie as Emmett laughed.

"I like the sound her stomach makes; it can growl almost as ferociously as you," he continued laughing as he pointed at me.

He meant for his comment to make me growl for comparison's sake, so to thwart his plan, I ignored him, took Bella's arm, and ushered her to the resort. "I think a good hot meal will be nice for you, and it will help warm you up." Although the cold didn't affect vampires, I could tell it had affected her because she had a slight shiver, and a few times, I had heard her teeth chatter.

"That sounds lovely," she replied as we walked through the resort's front doors.

Bella enjoyed a piping bowl of cream of tomato soup, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a glass of milk. All of which smelled revolting to me, but she seemed to savor every bit. Watching her eat reminded me of my own building hunger, and I decided tonight would be a good night to go hunting. I decided I would check with the rest of my family and ask who wanted to accompany me. My first guess was Emmett; there wouldn't be any bears out because of the season, but he was never averse to rousing one from its den just so he could have a good wrestling match with it.

Just as Bella was finishing the last of her milk, Alice walked in with Jasper, Rose, and Emmett trailing behind her. Alice was beaming from ear to ear as she walked up. "So, Bella, are you ready for your surprise?" She asked still grinning.

Bella almost choked on her last swallow of milk causing her to cough while holding a napkin over her mouth. When she finished, she turned and glared at Alice. "Don't sneak up on someone who is eating. You scared me, and it's a good thing I didn't spit my milk out all over Edward," she grumbled.

"Sorry, I'm just excited. I can't wait for you to see your surprise," Alice gushed.

"I can," Bella mumbled under her breath.

"You realize I can still hear that," Alice returned cheerfully.

"Who cares?" Bella was still mumbling and it was obvious to all that she wasn't happy.

As Bella prepared to get up from her chair, I quickly, but not too unnaturally fast, moved to pull back Bella's chair and help her from the table; she smiled at me for the assistance, but then the scowl returned as she added for Alice. "Not everyone likes surprises, and from past experience, I have reason to fear the ones you plan for me."

Alice shot me a look as she said, "I've never planned anything harmful, and Bella has to admit I have never harmed her."

"Forcing me to be laced up in tight undergarments while wearing fancy dresses, applying an unnatural amount of make-up to my face, and teasing and pulling my hair to make it stay on top of my head may not constitute danger and harm to you, but I view those events from an entirely different aspect," Bella groused in response.

I could not help but remember what Bella looked like in her 'fancy dress' at the Christmas dance, but her comment about 'tight undergarments' sent my mind spinning into a direction that I had to reign in quickly. I had once seen an image of Rose in such appealing garments, but the image of Bella likewise dressed cause me some extreme discomfort while in mixed company. Emmett had definitely done me a disservice to allow me to see such images only because it had lately become tremendously easy to place Bella in Rose's place within those images.

"Oh, come on Bella, you will really enjoy this surprise, and I know you have never had this experience before," Alice gushed. "Besides, where is the sense of adventure that brought you to the slopes to ski? Think of this as just one new adventure that takes no effort on your part. All you have to do is enjoy the experience."

"Come on, let's get this over with." Neither her mood nor her attitude had lightened, and I hoped Alice was right and that Bella would enjoy the surprise Alice seemed to have carefully planned.

Alice led us down a hall that neither Bella nor I had tread before; as we walked, I noticed there were small shops that lined this particular hall. At least if Alice were taking Bella shopping it would be inside of the lodge, and it would make it easier for me to help Bella escape from Alice's ministrations when the time came. What I hadn't expected was our destination. Alice stopped in front a double set of glass doors that announced that we were entering a massage parlor.

I quickly glanced at Bella for her reaction. Her mouth dropped open slightly registering her surprise, and then she glanced at me. I assumed she was checking my reaction, but then she whispered, "I don't know about this. I've never been to a place like this, and I'm not sure I can do it."

"It'll be fine Bella. Aleksey Kuchin is one of the best masseurs in the country. Besides, after all the skiing you have done, you need something to help you relax." Alice's enthusiasm bubbled over; unfortunately, it didn't seem to calm any of Bella's concerns about what was going to happen.

As we walked through the door, the receptionist greeted us with the usual cheery smile from behind her counter, asked us to have a seat, and then turned and left. I heard her walk down a short hallway before opening and closing a door. Only minutes later, she came back out that door and then came through a door into the waiting room that had to lead back to the massage rooms.

"Miss Swan, please follow me," she directed.

Bella grabbed my arm with a pleading look in her eyes, and I felt like a traitor as I patted her hand saying, "It will be all right Bella. Maybe Alice is correct; maybe you do need to relax and have some of the tightness from skiing worked out of your muscles."

Bella's glare at my words easily informed me that I had not given her the response she had hoped to hear. I'm not sure if she could have made me feel any more of a heel if she had spoken, but quickly released my arm, turned her back to me, and followed the receptionist.

"It will be okay Edward," Alice reassured me. "Bella will enjoy this; I promise."

"Did you see that Alice, or are you just hoping that she will enjoy it?" I asked sarcastically.

"I saw her come out with a smile on her face, but nothing else," she added the last quickly before I could ask if she had seen more.

"You realize if this turns out badly I will hold you personally responsible," I told her.

"Edward, you need to relax," Jasper spoke calmly and I could feel his influence as a wave of soothing relaxation washed over me.

"Stop it Jasper," I retorted, "Just let me worry."

Emmett laughed, "I guess the mother-hen is reappearing. I had really thought you were getting over that Edward. You did so well the last two days easing up, but you seem to have reverted."

I didn't feel he deserved a response, so I just growled softly at him as I tuned my hearing to Bella and the receptionist.

They had already reached and entered a room while we had been talking.

"If you will please disrobe, you can put your clothing on the counter, and then when you are ready just lie down on your stomach on the table and cover yourself with the blanket," the receptionist explained.

I didn't need to see Bella to know the request shocked her, so her reply didn't surprise me.

"Disrobe, as in take off my shirt and pants?" Her voiced trembled slightly as she spoke.

"No, disrobe as in take off all your clothing." The receptionist must have seen something because she hastily added, "I assure you Miss Swan, there is nothing to fear; this is a normal procedure. At no time will Mr. Kuchin see anything you don't want him to see. You'll be covered most of the time with the blanket."

"Oh," was Bella's only reply.

"Do you need any help?" The receptionist asked.

"No," Bella's clipped reply led me to believe she was shocked at the comment.

"Alright, I'll leave. Mr. Kuchin will knock on the door before he enters, and if you are not ready just tell him so." Then I heard the door open and close once again.

I could hear Bella moving around in the room, so she must have begun to comply with the receptionist's request.

"It will help if you don't listen," Jasper suggested softly. "You really need to calm down Edward; if you grip the arm of that chair any harder you will break it."

I hadn't realized I had tightened my grip, but his warning brought my focus back to my current surroundings even though I remained attentive to what was happening in the room where Bella was.

As I loosened my grip, I heard the soft rustling of fabric so I knew Bella had gotten on the table, and then a knock sounded on her door.

"Miss Swan, are you ready?" I knew the voice would be male, and from his name had expected an accent, but his accent was very slight, almost unnoticeable except to someone who had extremely keen hearing.

"Yes," was Bella's shaky reply.

"There is nothing to be nervous about young lady." I heard the slight rustling of paper. "If at any time I do anything you feel uncomfortable about, or if something starts to hurt, let me know immediately.

"Oh, I can't be- . . ." Bella began but then it sounded almost as if something stopped her words.

"I like to begin with your hands and then work up your arm," he informed her. There was another rustle of fabric, so I envisioned him or her moving her arm. "Ah, I see you are engaged. Are you not a little young?"

I heard Bella chuckle softly, "Yes, but it's my promise of forever, and we are serious about each other."

"I hope he knows how lucky he is, but I must remove the ring temporarily because of the massage."

"You can place it on my clothing," Bella replied, and I noticed her voice no longer held that tremor of fear. "And I'm the lucky one. He loves me, and I don't always feel like I deserve him."

"Ah, I see. Well, I think you are both lucky that you found each other. True love does not happen very often, but when it does, it is meant to last forever."

It seemed as if he knew more than what he was saying, and maybe hinting at things he was leaving left unsaid. Alice interrupted my thoughts at that point.

"Edward, I think there is something you should know," Alice began hesitantly. I looked over at her as I continued to listen for sounds from Bella's room. "I didn't mention this earlier, but I guess you'll find out soon." She hesitated, stared intently at me, and finally continued. "Aleksey Kuchin is one of us."

"Us, as in he is a vampire?" My words were hushed but clipped. There was no reason for the receptionist to hear us, unless she knew already, but I caught no thoughts from her to support that suspicion. Mostly, she focused on how perfect we all looked, how handsome Emmett, Jasper, and I were, and what the chance was that at least one of us was single.

"That is correct; but before you get mad, I have already spoken to him personally and he assures me that there is no need to worry. He has been treating humans for the past five years."

Her words did not assure me much, and then I heard Bella moan, except it sounded as if she was enjoying whatever was happening to her. It was at that point that I realized something was wrong. I could hear her moans, I heard him ask her if it hurt with her moaning a no, but something was missing.

"Edward," Alice called softly to attract my attention, "Are you even listening?"

"That's it," I said softly aloud, "I can't hear him."

"What do you mean? I can hear him talking to Bella," Jasper said.

"No, I can't hear his thoughts." I listened more carefully. I could hear Emmett thinking about what a massage would feel like and Rose wondering if all of this had been a good idea – so she must have known what Alice had planned but kept her thoughts to herself. Jasper was trying to figure out what I was talking about, while the receptionist began deciding on a tactful way to let us know she was interested in dating. I heard someone walking by outside planning her attire for the New Year's Eve party, and then I heard Alice asking, 'Can you really not hear his thoughts?' I could hear all of that, but not a whisper of thought came from the direction of the room where Bella was.

I looked at Alice and shook my head causing her to ask, "How is that possible?"

"I don't know, but he is as silent as Bella," I replied.

"Bella is anything but silent," Emmett commented causing me to look at him. That was when I noticed the verbal sounds coming from Bella's room. She was indeed rather vocal but it was all moans and groans of pleasure.

Emmett and Jasper chuckled as we all listened to Bella emitting more low soft moans.

"Wow, Edward, she's a moaner," Emmett croaked.

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked foolishly for I suddenly saw an image of Rose writhing under Emmett with her mouth open – I blocked out the image as quickly as possible, but not soon enough because I felt violated by being forced to witness that memory from Emmett.

Emmett chuckled as he replied, "Let's just say your wedding night will be extremely interesting." I knew he meant to say more, but he backed off when he noticed I was growling at him. I'm sure there would have been more mental projections into my mind and comments I was not ready for, but Emmett must have also seen something in my face or eyes that warned him to back-off or he would be sorry.

"Jasper, without any visuals, will you please explain what he means," I focused completely on Jasper who sat across the room from me with Alice at his side.

"Well, Alice isn't a moaner, but I've noticed that Rose is," he glanced briefly at Rose and Emmett seated to my left, "And it seems that Bella may vocally tell you what physical aspects of the wedding night are pleasing her. It will be your way of knowing what heightens her enjoyment. Emmett's right though, your wedding night could be interesting not only for you but for anyone who is in hearing distance. You might want to choose your location carefully. Some place sound proof might be best," he chuckled along with the rest of my siblings present. "I hope that fills in some of the details for you," he ended just as we heard another moan from Bella.

"I think that is enough information Jasper. I understand what you are saying, and thank you for not sending out any visual aids on the matter." I quickly looked over at Emmett and added, "And I don't need any further visuals from you to fill in the blanks you feel Jasper left, so please keep you nocturnal escapades to yourself."

"Are you still okay Miss Swan," I heard from that direction. I wanted to know exactly what he was doing to her.

"Ahhh, I never thought it would feel this good." I could hear the pleasure in her voice as she replied.

He just chuckled at her response, and that increased my desire to walk back there to see precisely what he was doing to cause her such pleasure, but before I could react in any way, I heard the clicking of heels on the tile floors outside of the massage parlor, and Elisha's thoughts flooded my mind. I had hoped we could avoid her for the rest of the trip, but as she began to pass the double doors, she looked in and saw us.

"Harpy alert," I warned, and before anyone could ask what I meant Elisha's obnoxious nasally twang filled the room.

"Eddie, what a surprise finding you here; are you waiting for a massage?" She knew very well that I was not, but she wanted to find an opening into a conversation. What she refused to accept was the fact that none of us welcomed her intrusion. "Where is your little friend?" She asked as she looked around the waiting room.

Before I could say anything, we all heard Bella moan again, causing Elisha to comment, "Do you ever wonder what those men must do in there to cause their female clients to moan so sensually?"

I growled lowly as I said, "You are to leave before something happens to you."

"Oh please, Eddie, I know you wouldn't choose to make a scene in so public a place. I'm here as a friend, and I just wanted to visit."

"Maybe I don't chose to visit with you," I snapped softly so as not to be overheard.

"Oh come on, Eddie, we were so close before, just think of what I can offer that your breakable little friend can't."

I saw Emmett roll is his as he thought, 'How deluded can one person be,' but Alice's thought was the best, 'Eww, that's like offering to share road kill.' I almost laughed at Alice's silent comment.

"You only way you could ever make me happy would be if you left, now," and I intentionally emphasized the last word.

"Well," she stated while examining her nails, "I know you really don't mean that."

I heard the phone ring as she began speaking, but Elisha's voice so grated on my sense of hearing that I missed what the caller said, but whoever called, and I suspected I knew whom it had been, caused the receptionist to ask, "Miss, do you have an appointment?"

"No," she smiled as she replied. Honey would never dripped from those lips no matter how nice she tried to sound. Her voice was one that, over time, would cause man and beast to dash themselves against a rock to escape her torment. When I referred to her as a 'harpy' it was not an exaggeration for she literally 'snatched' away one's peace of mind when she was around.

"Then I must ask you to leave. This waiting room is for clients only," she said with a calm smile.

"I'd do as you are asked, sweetheart, unless you want to find your pretty face marred more permanently this time," Rose snarled under her breath, and she was not smiling.

"I can tell when I'm not welcome," she retorted in Rose's direction, "But Eddie, if you ever change your mind, I know I can bring you more pleasure than some weak, fragile human." Then of all the disgusting things she could have done, she kissed her finger and laid it on my cheek before she thankfully left the room.

"Okay, does anyone else feel like throwing up?" Emmett asked.

"I feel like flushing my ears out with acid," Jasper replied.

"At least you only have to look at her and hear her verbally; I, unfortunately, have to suffer through her thoughts," I snarled softly so the receptionist could not hear me.

"It was really that bad?" Emmett asked.

"Worse than you," I replied truthfully. "At least with you, it is just visuals of you and Rose, but with her, she supplies visuals of all three of us and herself," I informed him pointing first at Jasper, then him, and finally myself.

Both Rose and Alice growled under their breath at that comment. "If she shows up again, Alice, I vote we eviscerate her."

"Not a bad idea, but let's cut her tongue out first. Hers is a voice I would rather not hear again."

All I could think was that it was a good thing neither the receptionist nor Bella could hear what we were saying.

"I have no objection to the evisceration, I just ask you do it off the lodges grounds, and preferably deep in the forest." The man, or vampire in this case, who addressed Alice and Rose had the pale complexion that identified our kind, and his black hair was slightly curly. When he was a human, he had unusually light blue eyes, and the iris' surrounding rim identified him as an animal drinker. His facial features were perfect, of course, whose weren't in our world, but there was a slight European look matching the slight accent I noticed earlier. Over the years, Carlisle noted that, continentally speaking, the natives from most continents shared some distinctive facial features that helped identify their homeland. What surprised me was his silent entrance; none of us had heard him leave the massage room, walk down the hall, or even open the door.

"Aleksey Kuchin," he said as he held a hand out to Alice. "Miss Alice Cullen I presume."

Alice stood and took his hand. "It is nice to meet you Mr. Kuchin."

"Please call me Aleksey," he replied.

"I take it Bella enjoyed her time with you," Alice added.

"I believe you heard her responses," he chuckled evoking Alice's chiming laughter.

"Oh yes, our Bella was extremely vocal," Emmett added causing Mr. Kuchin to glance over at him. Emmett stood, walked over, and held his hand out to the man. "Emmett Cullen, Bella's adopted big brother, and over there," he pointed to Rose, "is my wife Rose."

Jasper then rose offering his hand, "Jasper Hale, Alice's husband."

Mr. Kuchin smiled congenially through the introductions and then turned to me. "You will be the fiancé, then," he stated.

"Yes, sir," I replied as I stood up rather reluctantly. Although he seemed nice enough, I didn't trust him for some unexplained reason, something pulled at the back of my mind.

"Miss Swan will be out momentarily, but I would like to offer my congratulations and say she is an extremely unique individual." His words seemed to convey an underlying message that I failed to comprehend, and before I could think too long on his comment, Bella came through the door and walked straight to Alice.

"I concede to your greater wisdom," she stated as she stood directly in front of Alice. "Your choice of a surprise was extremely enjoyable this time." As she finished speaking, she hugged Alice, "Thank you."

For the first time in a long time, I watched as Alice stood speechless.

Then she turned to Mr. Kuchin who had been standing next to her and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek on his chest as she said, "Thank you." Only those with amplified hearing heard my soft growls, in response to her actions.

Mr. Kuchin smiled, pattered her head as if she were a child, gave me a sheepish grin, and said, "You are very welcome young lady. Now, you need to return to your room, drink plenty of water, and rest."

Retaining the grin that still spread across her face, she replied, "Yes sir." Then she turned to me, "Edward, will you come with me?"

Her serene but joyful smile was infectious, so I smiled in return as I said, "Yes ma'am, I'm at your complete service," causing Bella to chuckle and Rose to roll her eyes as she thought, 'Never thought I'd see the day he'd submit so willingly to the charms of any female.'

Everyone else just smiled as we turned to walk out the door, and then I heard Mr. Kuchin say, "So, are you ready Miss Cullen?" His comment caused me to look back briefly to see him motioning her toward the door to the massage room.

I didn't need to say anything because Alice answered my unspoken question. "Considering who he is, Edward, who better to give Rose and I a real massage," which cause both Bella and I to chuckle.

Before I walked out the door, I silently sent Alice my own message. 'I'm going hunting this evening, see if anyone wishes to go along with me.' Her unspoken response was in the affirmative.

As we walked to the elevator, Bella said, "I hope she enjoys that half as much as I did."

Looking around, I noticed we were alone. "Bella, her senses are much more tuned than any humans; if you enjoyed that, I imagine she will enjoy it at least three times more than you did," I replied as we entered the elevator and I pushed the button for our floor.

"Oh my!" She exclaimed once the doors had shut. "I think that much pleasure would have killed me."

Her comment caused me to ask for vanities sake, "Was it more enjoyable than when I touch or kiss you?" I hoped I'd receive the answer I wanted to hear.

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AN: You can show your approval or disapproval by leaving a review.


	39. Chapter 39 Blast From the Past

**AN: This chapter is dedicated in part to graciousplum who suggested a flashback to the Cullen's first encounter with Elisha, and I had fun writing it while filling out her character a little bit more. What do you think of her?  
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**I great big thank you also goes to my fabulous beta readers – Karma32, 15CoenK, graciousplum, & GuysGirls3.**

**As I always do, I give credit where credit is due. The characters in the story all originated in the mind of Stephenie Meyer, so I do not claim credit for them, only for this story line and of course for the two newest vampires in Bella's life.**

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**Journal Entry Thirty: A Blast from the Past**

"He has the most amazing hands," she started, "And what he can do with his fingers just sent ripples of pleasure and pain through me," she added just before the doors opened.

I felt rather crestfallen, but then realized she hadn't really answered my question. I quickly led her to her room so we could continue our conversation in the privacy of her room.

Once inside, she asked, "Edward, would you get me a glass of water from the bathroom."

"I'll order you some water from room service," I offered walking toward the phone.

"Don't be ridiculous; tap water will be just fine, and there is no need to spend extra money just for water," she emphasized with a huff, and then sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Would you like some ice in your water, it won't take but a minute to get some," I was trying hard to please her and offer her anything she wanted. Maybe I was trying to make up for not being able to give her a massage, or make her feel as that 'vampire' had. It just grated on me to know that he could do something for her that I could not; it also skewed my opinion of him. In any other circumstance, I imagined I would have liked him, but not when I thought he was providing a service to the woman I loved that made her feel things I couldn't make her feel.

"No just the water if you please." She watched me from the bed as I walked to the bathroom, filled the glass, and then brought it to her. I felt as if she were studying me the way she was watching so intently. "Edward, why do you feel you need to measure up to someone else?" She asked as I handed her the glass.

I sat down beside her as she began to sip her water. I wasn't sure where she came up with that idea so I replied, "I'm not trying to measure up to anybody else."

"Yes, you are. Just now you asked if I found the massage more enjoyable than when you touch me. Honestly, if that is not trying to live up to someone else, then I don't know what is." Her tone was neither condemning nor harsh, but almost sad, as if I hurt her in some way for requesting a comparison. As she paused, she took a deeper drink from her glass, then placed it on the nightstand, and turned to me taking my hands in hers as she continued. "There really is no comparison, Edward. The massage was just that; yes, it felt great because it relaxed my muscles and even made me feel relaxed, but your touch does other things to me that do not even begin to compare to that. When you touch me, it is like waves and waves of pleasure so deep and strong washing over me that I sometimes feel as if I'll literally drown in pleasure. Your touch puts me on an entirely new plane of feeling, and then you add your kisses to those feelings and I lose all sense of time and self. Sometimes I feel as if I might melt right into you. It's as if there is no dividing line between us as if we have become one complete entity within each other, and when you take your lips away from mine, I feel a tearing sensation as our two halves once again divide into separate entities."

The entire time she talked, she gazed deeply into my eyes, and her words painted a picture of our fusing into one being. Deep within her eyes, I also glimpsed the wealth of her emotions as she spoke and knew every word came from her heart. What she described was not only her feelings but also mine; I had just never put them in those kinds of words before.

"Edward, I love you, and no one else's touch can ever be compared to yours because there just is no comparison. Your touch is heaven; everyone else's is just skin contact." She then leaned over and kissed me lightly on my lips before pulling back and adding, "Does that make you feel better?"

"No," I replied softly, "It makes me feel like a jealous oaf for asking such a thing."

Bella chuckled softly, "That sounded like an Emmett comment, but I like the idea that you are jealous, it means you really do hold me in a special place in your heart."

This time I was the one who leaned toward her for a chaste kiss, and then pulled back.

"As nice as this is, Edward, I think I should lie down. I'm feeling extremely tired and a nap might really do me some good."

"Would you like me to leave?" I offered even though I knew she would ask me to stay with her.

"Lie down with me," she replied. "I sleep better when you're here."

She lay down as she spoke, and I waited for her to settle into position before I covered her with the blanket and then I laid down beside her.

"Edward," she murmured softly as she snuggled up against me, "I'll make you a promise if you make me a promise."

After her comment about my touch and her realizing that I did hold her extremely dear, I wanted to give her anything she wanted, so I replied, "I'll promise; whatever you ask, I'll do." It was one of those moments when I allowed my heart to rule my head, and in the end, I'm glad I did.

"I promise not to be jealous of Elisha," even though she was still speaking softly, she uttered the name almost as if it were a dirty word, "if you promise not to be jealous of Uncle Peter."

It was such a simple request on my part. The chances of her seeing 'him' again were very slim, but Elisha was a current thorny presence, but also one I knew she had no reason to feel jealous about; however, her promise not to feel jealous was worth accepting. "I promise not to be jealous of him," I chuckled, "and Bella," I added, "she is nothing to me or to any of us. I hope you believe that."

"I do now," she mumbled so softly I almost missed it.

Bella had been right about needing a nap; sleep enveloped her quickly, so I took the time, once again, to enjoy the feel of her in my arms. Her body felt a little warmer than usual, which made me wonder if that was a result of the massage since massages did cause the blood to flow slightly faster. Whatever the reason, I was enjoying the warmth of her body, and began to daydream about our life together as husband and wife. A thrill ran through me because of those two words; there was such promise behind the event of our marriage, and so much to look forward to in our future. My idea of forever had never meant the same thing after Bella found me, and let me emphasize that I really believe she found me and not the other way around. I used to think I found her, but over the past few months, I had begun to realize that she found me. Just as she was attracted to anything that might be dangerous to her, she was attracted to me because I was probably the most dangerous enticement she could find. The fact that she loved me, made it even more special because who loves the devil in their life, and for her, I might as well have been the devil, at least until I was able to reign in my natural obsession for her blood.

When Carlisle first brought me back from death, I didn't really believe I would want to live forever, but he always told me that when I found my soul mate, someone who would complete me, I would feel differently. That was one reason why he changed Rose; he really believed that I might find a soul mate in her, but what I found, much to his chagrin, was an annoying sister. It wasn't that I didn't like her; we just did not share the same interests, and we seemed to irritate each other. When she found Emmett, I actually felt relieved because it meant Carlisle, and Esme too, would stop suggesting that we try to get along better. In fact, the addition of Emmett did help us tolerate each other more, but maybe that was because we no longer had impossible expectations hanging over our heads.

I was deep in contemplation about the past and the future when I felt Bella begin to move. She often became restless when sleeping, and sometimes that restlessness led to sleep talking. If she were about to talk, I planned to focus on her every word, but instead of talking, she began moaning softly just as she did during her massage. In addition, her movements seemed to tie into her moans. First, she rubbed up against me with her entire body, next she kicked the blanket off her legs, and then she threw her leg over my hip and pulled her body tight against mine. I felt a new heat because of the way she wrapped her leg over me, and she rubbed against me again causing us both to moan.

Bella's actions were taking my desire up a notch higher than they had been before, and to help restrain myself, I locked my fingers together behind my back and tried to move slowly away from her, but that action only made her pull closer to me causing her to moan again. Recognizing that my actions were not working, I held myself perfectly still, hoping she would stop moving as well. It did stop her, but her leg remained draped over my body, and there was not even enough space between our bodies for a single sheet of writing paper.

My only source of distraction was to find something else to think about; unfortunately, the first thought that surfaced was a memory about my first encounter with Elisha.

It had been our second year in Idaho; Carlisle and Esme had purchased a house just south of Emmett and only twenty-five miles north of Boise. Emmett found the situation extremely humorous at first, but after one year of hearing dumb comments about his name's connection to the town, he decided we should never again move near a town bearing one of our names.

Prior to Idaho, we had moved around every two years buying property in more remote areas. Carlisle found that the safest way to invest our large funds without having to rely on the banks or the stock market. Alice had forewarned the family about the stock market crash prior to the event thereby saving us from losing anything. Carlisle and I had sold all our stocks and pulled all our money out of the bank one month before the crash, and to forestall awkward questions, we decided we would move around the country for a while. We had been living in Maine at that time.

I must add this clarification; although the Twilight series gives a different date for Alice and Jasper joining the family, you must remember that is fiction. In the real world, Alice and Jasper moved into the family in 1928, and her advice helped build up the Cullen family bank and stock account, and then saved it from the crashes and failures. In addition, Emmett joining the family in 1936 also contributed to the family's move to Idaho, but that is an entirely different story.

Anyway, in the late 30's, about the time the country was beginning to recover from the crash, we all agreed a move to Idaho would be advantageous since Emmett could not remain near this home town. An added advantage was the fact that we hadn't lived in that state yet.

I was a sophomore in high school at the time, and it was nearing Christmas when 'she' moved into the area. Alice had foreseen her coming, but Alice had no particulars on whether 'she' survived on animals only. She did see 'her' attending school with us, but other than that fact, Alice saw no other indicators of what type of person 'she' was; had there been, Alice and Rose might have joined forces to persuade Esme to vacate her newest home and remodeling project.

Elisha's first day at school set the model for what the rest of her time among us would be like. On that first day, I only shared one class with her, and Alice suffered through two shared classes. She enrolled as a junior, so she also shared classes with Emmett and Jasper. Rose was the lucky one because they had no classes in common.

One thing that surprised me about Elisha, when I first met her, was the fact that vampires have a natural tendency to attract humans; something about us just draws them in and makes them easy victims. Somehow, everything about us seemed designed to attract, our appearance, our scent, and even our voices. Elisha, on the other hand, seemed to repeal not only humans but everyone and everything else as well. She was the opposite of Bella. The characteristics meant to be indisputably alluring had become something inexplicably repulsive in her; instead of magnetically attracting, she magnetically repelled. I noticed this about her on the very first day.

The family had gathered at a lunch table together, with the exception of Rose, and Elisha causally strolled over, greeted Emmett, who had already shared a class with her, with a nod of her head, and sat down beside him. Emmett's first non-verbal comment was, 'She's evil incarnate,' which almost caused me to laugh aloud. Emmett had never said that about any girl before, especially one who was unnaturally beautiful, but upon closer inspection, I noticed that even her beauty was repulsive in an odd way.

It wasn't that she wasn't gorgeous; it was just that there was something off about her beauty. Her pale brown hair was not a true brown yet not light enough to pass as an ash blond, and even though the color seemed as though it should be attractive, it just wasn't right. Her facial feature appeared superior to humans just like any vampire, and still they just didn't appear correct, but still, nothing specific jumped out that you could describe or point out, and of course, she had the deep red rings around eyes that appeared smoky gray, but seem lifeless. I could never really put my finger on what that 'off-ness' in her was; I just knew it was there.

"Hello Emmie," she must have tried to make her voice appealing, but it had this nasally, gravelly undertone, and instead of being pleasant, it actually grated on one's nerves. Besides that, Emmett hated any nickname given to him.

I heard him growling under his breath before he replied, "Never call me that again."

Just about then, Rose walked into the cafeteria, and without stopping for a tray, she walked directly to the table and sat down beside Emmett.

"You should introduce me to your friends," Elisha declared. It seemed she made more declarations and commands than requests.

No one smiled at her demand, but Emmett, still trying to be polite, made introductions beginning with Rose, "This is my wife, Rose. Beside her are my brother Jasper, then my sister Alice, and my little brother Edward."

"How nice, an entire family. I wouldn't have thought so many could live under the same roof." There seemed to be something insulting in the way she said it, but I couldn't place my finger on it. "So, are you free Friday night?" She smiled up at Emmett and fluttered her eyelashes. Beside him, Rose growled low and dangerously. "Maybe we could go to a dance or something," she suggested still trying to flirt as she spoke.

Alice laid her hand on my arm when Rose stood up gracefully from her chair. I already knew her thoughts about this interloper, and the suggestion about Emmett taking her out triggered something in Rose that caused her to snap. Both Alice and I knew what was coming next, but Alice placed her hand on my arm in order to stop me from interfering, so I just sat back and watched.

Rose rounded Emmett's chair and pulled Elisha out of her so quickly that the other students didn't realize anything was happening until they heard Rose say, "Are you deaf or do you refuse to listen when people speak?" Elisha had a glazed look as if she did not understand what Rose meant. "Emmett is taken and you had better remember that or you won't be around very long." Rose still had a hold of Elisha's arm, which she had grabbed to pull her out of the chair – had Elisha been human, Rose would have pulled her arm off due to the force she used – and punched her in the face with her other hand. There was a sharp resounding crack, and we all knew she had broken the girl's nose, but since we don't bleed, no one else in the room realized it had broken.

"Miss Cullen," a deep male voice commanded, "Principal's office. Now!"

Rose held herself erect and showed no sympathy about what had just happened as she left the cafeteria. Emmett jumped up and followed her. The teacher who had spoken asked if Elisha needed to see the nurse, but she reassured him she was fine. Even with a broken nose, the nurse would not have been able to help her, and her only recourse was to retreat outside or to the girl's room to set the bones in place before they healed.

Alice chuckled under her breath as Elisha walked out the cafeteria door. "She did have that coming. No one tries to steal anything from Rose without paying for it in some manner, and to blatantly flirt with Emmett after being told they were married was really stupid."

"Well, if it is any consolation, Alice, she really thought Emmett was lying about Rose being his wife," I informed her.

Alice just stared as Jasper asked, "You're kidding right?"

"No, she thinks Emmett was pulling a joke on her, and she wants him." I saw the look of disbelief on both their faces, so I clarified, "According to her thoughts, she thinks Emmett was using Rose as a way to . . . well, it's hard to put it the way her thoughts came out, but in short, she really thought he used Rose as an excuse for not going anywhere with her. I have a feeling it was not be the first time someone has lied to her, but she seems determined to win Emmett over because she is attracted to him."

"Too bad for her that it isn't a lie, and if she tries anything with him, Rose will do more than punch her next time," Jasper commented. "You have to admit, she did throw a good punch for a girl."

"I wouldn't let her hear you say that unless you want to be on the other end of one of those punches," Alice replied.

"Well, let's just hope Elisha realizes that Emmett was not lying and that Rose proved the truth of the matter," Jasper added.

"The problem is she really thinks we are all siblings. She hasn't quite put it all together that just because we are a family does not mean we are related," I elucidated.

"So, is she going to be foolish enough to continue perusing Emmett?" Jasper asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Alice admitted. "Rose is right now being suspended from school for three days, and for those three days, 'that woman' is going to try to lure Emmett into her clutches."

"Rose will not be happy about that," Jasper replied with a slight chuckle.

"We won't tell her," Alice admonished, "Because if she finds out, she will not only hit her again, but she will take it all the way – she will kill her." Alice had seen it happen, I knew because the sight of it replayed in her mind while I was looking.

"Okay, we don't tell Rose," I agreed. I didn't want my sister to be a killer, even if it would have been for a good cause. "We should, however, tell Emmett so he can be on his guard. I suggest we close ranks and stand against her as one."

Jasper chuckled again, "Very military style; I didn't know you had it in you, Edward, to use non-civilian terms."

My chuckle echoed his, "You've finally rubbed off on me I guess," I retorted humorously.

"Okay, in military style, let's strategically plan out how we'll save Emmett from the clutches of Mata Hari," Jasper had leaned in conspiratorially making our small group feel more like a military planning conference.

Alice smiled slyly as she whispered, "Emmett has to prove he would not be a fit match for her. She's looking for someone refined, intelligent, and mature in behavior. He must act just the opposite of what she is seeking. He must become one of those back hills buffoons he used to tell us about."

Jasper laughed aloud, "I think Emmett will win an award for his performance," and with that comment, Emmett stormed through the cafeteria door, and fell into the chair with enough force to cause it to crack softly.

"He suspended her from school for three entire days. I told her I would stay with her but she said I had to stay here. School isn't any fun without her," he groused.

"Alice knows of a way to make the next three days very interesting," Jasper offered him a little hope.

"What would be fun without Rose around?" Emmett thoughts never strayed far from Rose.

It was as if the two shared only one life – especially from Emmett's perspective; however, Rose had lately found a hobby that interested her. Cars were becoming more prominent and she found it enjoyable as well as entertaining to tinker around under the hoods of them. Carlisle had his treasured 1936 Rolls Royce, while Alice preferred the Alfa Romeo she purchased in 1938; I personally didn't like the design of her car – too narrow in the back for my taste. Emmett, of course, bought one of the first pick-up trucks, and I went sporty with a 1938 Jaguar SS100 Roadster. Rose decided to tinker first, before deciding to buy any vehicle. Her tinkering left Emmett with more free time than before, and it became hard for him to find ways to fill his time.

With Elisha entering the picture, Emmett had found an enjoyable pastime for the next three days to keep the boredom away, and it would relieve us of having to sit and entertain someone who could out grump a grizzly bear.

"It has to do with Elisha," Alice began, but speaking her name caused Emmett to growl softly but fiercely. "Don't get upset yet," she warned, "Just let me finish. She thinks that if she tries hard enough she can win you away from Rose."

"About as much chance as an iceberg surviving in hell," he mumbled under his breath.

"Well, despite that colorful example, that is just what she believes; however, we also know what she is looking for in her perfect partner and all you have to do is be just the opposite," Alice finished with a bright smile.

"And just what is she looking for?" He still wasn't warming up to Alice's offer.

"Emmett," I began, "She wants someone who is sophisticated, but I imagine you could easily persuade her that you are anything but sophisticated."

"Sure, I could pick my nose, stick my finger in my ear to clean it, and I may even learn how to burp. That should take care of being sophistified. Don't you think?" He looked seriously at each of us for approval of his ideas. What he saw were three laughing figures; he had been so causal about his planned actions and the mispronunciation that it made everything even more humorous.

"If you keep speaking like that, it will even take care of the intelligence part as well," Jasper added.

"Like what?" Emmett snorted in a rather crude manner.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, Emmett. Keep acting like that and you will definitely scare her away," Alice chimed in with her clear ringing voice.

I hadn't noticed how pleasant Alice's voice was before that day, but my noticing resulted from listening to the Elisha's obnoxiously grating nasal tones.

It took only two days for Elisha to give up on Emmett, but then she turned to Jasper; although before she could begin any kind of flirty attack on him, Alice warned him of the shift in Elisha's plans, and instantly Alice and Jasper went everywhere together never giving the vixen a chance to worm her way into Jasper's affections. Not that it would have, Alice and Jasper had an extremely special connection that went into depths of emotions with which even Emmett and Rose could not compete. Where Emmett and Rose had a love that was extremely physical, Alice and Jasper's transcended emotions and went even deeper than that.

I'm not sure what attracted Elisha to her next victim, but for some reason she fixed her desires on Carlisle. As soon as Alice saw it, she warned both Carlisle and Esme, but Carlisle had his own manner of dealing with the woman. Anytime she approached him, he treated her like a child. She might have been posing as a teenager, but he treated her like a ten year old with a crush on someone much older.

Her thoughts kept me abreast of how Carlisle's tactics were working, and as the time progressed, it was obvious she would finally give up on him as a romantic attachment. Unfortunately, that left only one other person to focus on.

Elisha had been in the school about a month when her gaze and desires turned in my direction. During that fourth week of school, Elisha had coerced the counselor into changing most of her classes to match the ones I was taking. I had only two reprieves; one occurred during gym class – there were no coed classes at that time – and the second was in my woodworking class; it was the first time I was actually thankful that the educational system forced boys to take the class.

For the first time since Carlisle had changed me, I needed my family to help me with a problem I could not handle on my own. I couldn't imitate Emmett's crude behavior because Elisha had already seen my true personality when I stood by my brothers. She also knew that of the males in our family, only I didn't have a mate, what she failed to accept was my complete and utter rejection of her.

It took one month of declaring my dislike for the woman, and the support of my family to drive her away, and that was what we literally did. We had to make her existence in the town unbearable so that she would pack up and move on her own initiative.

Jasper set the plans and assigned tasks to everyone. Alice and he had the task of making food scarce for her; because of Alice's ability, she could see exactly where and when Elisha would go hunting, and she drank only from humans. Jasper used his talent to scare Elisha's intended victim away, and as a result, Elisha had to go further afield looking for nourishment. For their part, Rose and Emmett made items disappear from the house Elisha rented. Rose even took to shredding some of her clothing, which she did, I might add, with a relish.

My task consisted of being as unpleasant to her as possible. I never said a kind word, and I was able to use her thoughts against her without her realizing I could hear them. At first, I thought Jasper's plan would not work, but by the end of a month, Elisha had few clothes to wear without going shopping for more, and she constantly complained of someone pilfering her possessions. I did once suggest she go to the police and report the thefts, but she seemed to shy away from the idea. I did learn one important thing about her; she had an extreme dislike of humans, and she preferred not to be around them for very long. I think that fact and the Machiavellian treatment by my family finally drove her away.

It would be nice if I could say we felt remorseful about our treatment of her, but that just was not the case. In fact, the day she moved, we held a small victory party, and I have to add, I was the happiest one in the family to see her go.

Never had I dreamt we would see her again, and for her to show up at the sky resort was completely unforeseen by Alice. Of course, Alice was not looking for the invasion of any unwelcome intruders on our family vacation, so I cannot fault Alice for missing that little item. Still, with Bella around, I would have been happier if Elisha had never shown up.

My trip down memory lane ended when I heard a soft rapping on the door.

"Mmmm," Bella uttered as her hand began to caress my face and neck. "Is it time to get up?" I could hear the sleepily in her voice.

"Not if you're not ready," I murmured in reply, "But I must so I can answer the door."

"Go away," Bella muttered sleepily, and even though she had spoken quietly, I knew Alice had heard it through the thick door.

I heard Alice's thoughts long before she spoke, and her words were meant for Bella and not me. "Edward, if you're going hunting you should go now so you are back in time to take Bella down to supper."

"You're leaving me," she murmured as her hand continued to caress my face and neck.

"Only for a short time, Bella, even I have to eat sometime," I replied softly trying to hold back a moan of delight because of her hand on my skin.

"It would be cruel of me to keep you," she still spoke softly but opened her eyes. "You do have needs, and I will not selfishly keep you from them. You go, and I'll be ready for supper by the time you return."

I chuckled, "Do you think you will be awake by then?"

It didn't take much because of our positions or nearness for her to reach up and kiss me, and to enhance the effects of her kiss, she ran her tongue around my lips before pushing away from me. "You go," she said again, "I'm getting up now," and she did slowly extract herself from me and get up from the bed.

I laid there as I watched her get up and stretch. Her body enthralled me, and once again, I pleasantly reminded myself that she was mine. We were tied together and neither one of us wanted to cut those ties, for which I was more than grateful.

"Edward," Alice said impatiently this time, "Are you coming or not?"

Had I been wise, I would have stayed, but some things were just meant to happen. It was unfortunate that I had not realized that sooner in our relationship.

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**If you liked this chapter even a little, why not leave a review saying so.**


	40. Chapter 40 Of Hunting and Accidents

**AN: Sorry for the delay, but now that all my college papers and projects are done, and the two finals I had to write are finished – except for the grading of said finals – I finally have time for this story again. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter, and its little twist – I know, some of you saw this coming, but maybe the end will surprise you.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own the Cullen family or Bella Swan, but I do own the plot and extra cast of characters.**

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Journal Entry Thirty-One – Of Hunting and Accidents**

It pained me to be away from Bella even though it helped to hunt. The nearness of so many humans for entire days was a little trying at times. It wasn't like at home where we could return home after a day of school and relax our senses – except of course for Bella but then she was only one human and by this time, we had become accustomed to her.

Emmett enjoyed his hunt the most because he found a rewarding den, and after finally rousing the grizzly, he had a good wrestling match before drinking his fill.

I was happiest however, when we began the return journey to the resort. I had the rest of the evening already planned out, and I hoped Bella would enjoy my ideas for the evening. Emmett had suggested a game of poker, but I vetoed that idea. I wanted to spend our last two days alone with Bella. Therefore, I sent him and Rose off to find something else to keep them entertained for the evening. Jasper had deserted the group as soon as the lodge came into view wanting nothing more than to be with Alice as quickly as possible, and Esme had made a slight detour before we reached the lodge, so I entered the building alone. Seeing Bella was the focal point of my thoughts as I entered the lobby, so I was not thrilled when Elisha greeted me.

"Eddie, what a surprise," her smile appeared less than surprised, and I suspected she had waited to ambush me. "I was sorry to hear about your little play-toy girlfriend. I hope she is feeling better."

"What did you hear about her?" I meant it as a question, but even to my ears, it sounded like a demand.

"I guess she had to go to the hospital for some reason." Her disinterested reply angered me.

My first thought was that Elisha had done something to Bella. "If you harmed Bella in any . . ."

"Oh, please, like I would bother with so insignificant a thing as her," she interrupted.

"And just what is that supposed to mean," I growled.

"Look, she's human," her flippant tone irritated me even more, "You'll soon tire of her and then you'll realize how much more fun you and I could have. I can wait, Eddie. She's just a fleeting bit of amusement, a novelty, and you'll soon realize you want more than what she can provide."

"You . . ." I had never before found myself at a loss for words, but at that moment, I was.

"Look, I have other things to do. You can come find me when you become disenchanted with her." She turned on her heels and began walking away, but before completely disappearing from sight, she turned and waved, "Ta ta."

I rushed as quickly as possible to the elevator without drawing attention to myself, and as soon as the door shut, my mind sought out Alice's thoughts. She was with Jasper, and even though I could not hear her voice, I could hear her thoughts as she spoke.

'Edward will not be happy about this, but at least she will be okay. Her father won't be happy either; he'll be madder than ever at Edward.' At that point I knew something serious had happened, and if I discovered Elisha had anything to do with harming Bella, I would gladly take her to the woods, but she would never return, nor would there be anything left of her for anyone else to find. I then realized I should have taken the stairs because the elevator was the slowest method of reaching Bella that I could have chosen.

The elevator doors had barely opened when I pushed my way through them and sped to Bella's room. I found her door unlocked as I turned the knob, and hesitated only slightly before hearing Carlisle say, "Come in Edward. We need to talk."

My eyes immediately locked on the small pale shape in the bed and my heart dropped as I realized it was Bella. I had never seen her that pale before, not even after she had been shot, and then I noticed the faint scent of her blood in the air.

"Edward, she is fine," his voice was calm for my benefit. "She slipped in the bathroom and broke her arm. Alice was with her as quickly as possible, but it was an accident, so Alice did not see it until it actually happened. She called me even before she reached Bella, and then found her unconscious on the floor. It was a clean break, but the bone was protruding from her arm. Alice quickly dressed her while I called for an ambulance. She did not regain consciousness until after I had reset her arm, stitched up the injury, and applied the cast; by that time, I had also administered a strong dose of pain medication."

Carlisle had not needed to communicate all of this to me verbally, but he must have known that his calm tone helped keep me calmer than I might have been otherwise. As he spoke, I crossed the room, sat in the chair someone – probably Carlisle – had placed beside Bella's bed, and held the hand of her uninjured arm. Emotionally, I felt dread, anger, and fear. The fear surprised me. I had never experienced fear since the moment I awoke as a vampire. I hadn't even registered fear when Bella had been shot – only anger at myself for having allowed it to happen.

Now, fear seemed the dominant emotion. Fear that I could have lost her, fear that I could not adequately protect her, and fear that she would be disappointed that I hadn't been there when she first opened her eyes in the hospital.

"They allowed me to bring her back to the lodge because I'm her doctor. Otherwise, they would have required her to remain there," Carlisle continued to explain. "Edward, before the medication caused her to sleep, she gave me a message for you. She said, 'Tell Edward this is not his fault and he is not allowed to berate himself for not being here when it happened.'"

A small chuckle escaped my lips. 'Leave it to Bella to know exactly how I would feel,' I thought to myself.

"She does understand you, like a wife understands her husband. I've never met a human who became attuned so quickly to one of us. She's very special, Edward," he laid his hand on my shoulder as I sat staring down on her feeling extremely mixed emotions. "You are very lucky to have found her, Edward."

"She found me," I admitted. "Maybe I have been looking for her all this time without realizing it, but on my own I would never have found her." I turned slightly to look up at him. "Bella had to be the one who was looking, and I honestly believe she was the one who did the finding; I'm just glad she didn't give up on me, or I could have lost her because of my stubborn refusal to accept the fact that I needed her in my existence, and you're right I am lucky. I'm lucky she still loved me enough to wait for me to come to my senses." I finally was able to admit all of this and speaking it aloud helped me to accept it as the truth.

Smiling, I gazed down on her knowing I would do anything required of me in order to keep her.

"She looks so vulnerable," I commented.

"She is as a human, but we will all watch over her to keep her safe until both of you are ready for her change." Carlisle squeezed my shoulder as he spoke and then released it. "I need to find the rest of the family and inform them about what has happened."

"When will she wake up?" I need this one piece of information before he left.

"My guess is that she will sleep until morning but should the pain cause her any discomfort, you can give her two of the orange pills on the nightstand. The directions are on the bottle; the other ones she won't need until tomorrow morning. Call me immediately if there are any problems."

"Thank you Carlisle. I'm glad you and Alice were here when it happened."

I hadn't looked at him while speaking, but he knew my feelings because he said, "Stop feeling guilty about not being here. You could not have stopped this accident unless you had planned on showering with her." He laughed lightly at his last comment.

"Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind," I murmured more to myself than to him.

"Interesting," was his response as he walked out of the room closing the door quietly behind him.

Once Carlisle left, I focused all of my attention on Bella. Her left arm was in the cast, and she had it lying across her stomach; she had her face turned toward me, and I currently held her right hand in mine. She looked extremely pale, but her hand was slightly warmer than normal.

I reached out and ran my hand gently across her forehead and down her cheek checking her temperature. Even that touch indicated a slight temperature increase, but she had no corroborating flush on her skin to support that she had a fever. As I removed my hand from her cheek, she whimpered slightly; I thought it was due to pain, but then she murmured, "Don't leave, Edward."

Her plea earned a resounding, "I'm right here Bella," from me.

"Beside me," she murmured her reply indicating she wanted me to lie beside her, but there was no room on the bed on her uninjured side. When I didn't respond, she coaxed, "Please."

Very softly, I told her, "I need to move you Bella, but it might hurt a little."

"Okay," she whispered.

The easiest way for me to move her was to scoop her up gently in my arms taking care to jostle her arm as little as possible, but despite my care, she still moaned in pain as I moved her. I gave myself just enough room to lay down by her side, and as I did, she instantly snuggled against my arm wrapping her good arm around mine and placing her slightly heated cheek next to my cool skin.

"Mmmm, love you," she breathed as she settled against me.

"I love you too Bella, more than you can comprehend at this moment," my heart, as I spoke, swelled with the love I actually felt for her. This accident brought home to me, once again, how vulnerable she was to life threatening injuries. A broken arm might seem nominal to most, but I looked beyond the break. What if she had suffered trauma to her head when she fell? What if the fall had caused her to lapse into a coma? These were just two of the questions I contemplated as I watched her beautiful face.

Then Bella did something that caused me to act like a hormonal teenage boy. I had carefully moved her over slightly on the bed so I could lie next to her, but at the same time, I made sure she stayed covered. I didn't want her to catch a chill but the feverishness must have caused her to feel hot because she began to kick the covers off. She was still snuggled next to me with her arm wrapped around mine, so her legs did the work of kicking about her covers. Alice had dressed Bella in one of her long nightgowns, but with all her kicking, the nightgown was riding up her legs until her thighs were bare. I had never seen Bella in shorts or a bathing suit, so this was the most of her legs I had seen.

That was when I began acting as any other hormonal teen might act. I laid my hand on her warm leg and began to run my hand up her leg moving to the inside of her thigh just above her knee. Some other part of me had taken over the gentleman part and I found I was unable to stop my hand from inching up her inner thigh. How far my hand might have gone was something I'll never know because about midway up, my hand stopped as it encountered a scar. The scar was very distinctive and slightly cold to the touch, and the minute I felt it I knew that was where Bella's 'Uncle Peter' had bitten her.

Two emotions overwhelmed me at once. The first was disgust that someone so old had bitten a child and the second was jealousy that another vampire had bitten 'my' Bella. I ran my finger around the scar memorizing every detail of it but as I did Bella moaned in her sleep, however, it was not a moan of pain, and I suddenly realized I had become a little too personal. She began to pull closer to me, and then attempted to swing her left leg onto me in reaction to my touch; unfortunately moving her leg made her roll onto her side and that shifted her broken arm and this time the resulting moan was not one of pleasure but of pain. I immediately disengaged myself from her hold on me with her right arm, and made her lay flat on her back, and then I pulled the hem of her gown down and covered her with the sheet. I did berate myself then for my lack of control.

I could just hear Emmett saying, 'It's a natural reaction ant nothing to be ashamed of. It just proves your normal when it comes to sex.' I was glad he hadn't been around to witness my less than stellar control on my emotions.

The knock on the door shifted my focus, and I quickly slipped out of the bed and returned to the chair beside it. I knew it was Carlisle on the other side, and I knew someone was with him. "Come in." I intentionally kept my voice low.

"Edward," Carlisle entered the room first, but the other person hung back out of sight, "I have someone you need to meet." Carlisle motioned him to enter, and I recognized him immediately – Aleksey Kuchin.

"We've met already," I replied noticing once again that I could not hear any thoughts coming from this man. He was as silent to me as Bella.

"No, that is not the name Bella knows me by," he said as he casually entered the room. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what he said next. "Bella calls me Uncle Peter."

The first thought that flashed into my mind was, 'He bit her,' and then 'What does he want with her?' followed by, 'He can't have her,' and finally 'She's mine.' As those thought played havoc on my senses, I glanced from Carlisle, to him, to Bella, and then back to 'Uncle Peter.'

"Edward, you need to hear his story," Carlisle added non-verbally, 'He means no harm to Bella or you. Just listen to him.'

"I will explain everything if you will give me the chance," 'he' said.

I'm not sure what Carlisle saw reflected in my face, but it must have been something that let him know it would be alright to leave the two of us alone because he backed quietly out of the door leaving me with, 'Call if you need me.'

I stared silently at the man who had bit my only love, and he was the one who broke the silence between us. "Edward, I know that you love her, and I know that she loves you." He began to walk forward causing me to growl slightly, but he still advanced.

"Why are you here?" Without really meaning to, it still came out as a growl.

"You mean here at the lodge, or here in this room." By this time, he was standing beside my chair and gazing down upon Bella.

"Both," I almost snarled.

"I'm at the lodge because it was a good job, and I like what I do." His response was simple enough, and he was finally looking in my direction instead of at Bella.

"What were you able to do for Alice and Rose? It's not like we have sore muscles." I didn't want to talk about Bella yet. I wanted more information about him before I broached the subject of Bella.

"You're right," he chuckled softly as he spoke, "But we do tense up, and what I provide is relaxation through massage."

I snorted in disbelief. I could not see how any kind of massage would release tension, but I could admit that at that moment I was tense. I did not feel comfortable with him in the room.

He pulled over a regular dining room type chair that had been near the desk in the room. "Straddle this chair and allow me to show you how I can help relieve your tension." His voice was calm and soothing, and his motions he kept non-threatening.

I stared at him in disbelief, "And what if I don't trust you?"

He laughed, "Edward, what would I gain in hurting you? Your father knows I'm here and Bella would hate me if I harmed you. Besides, trust has to begin somewhere."

It wasn't just that I distrusted him; it was also the fact that I could not hear his thoughts. It was like traveling in the dark and not being able to see where you were going and having to feel your way round with just your hands as a guide. Of course, in this case, I had to use my eyes and watch his body language much as I did with Bella.

"Look, you sit and allow me to help relieve some of your stress and I'll answer any questions you ask of me. I want you to be able to trust me because of Bella." He held out his hand indicating the chair he wanted me to sit in, and for some reason, I did as he requested. Maybe it was because he was willing to answer my questions.

As soon as I sat down, he put his hands on my shoulders near my neck. It was a moment full of tension for me, but then his fingers began to work at the muscles around my neck massaging them in such a way that I could feel the release of some of the tightness.

I began my questions immediately. "Why can't I hear your thoughts?" Maybe his reply would help me understand why I couldn't hear Bella's as well.

He laughed softly as he continued to massage my neck and shoulders. "It has to do with my ability. I haven't met any other vampire who has my skill, but a few who can do an extremely limited part of what I'm able to do. As a human, I kept my thoughts to myself and seldom shared anything with others. I guarded my opinions and ideas with good reason. In my country, the Tsar frowned upon freethinking, so it was best not to offer contrary opinions to anyone. After I was changed, I discovered that I could easily close my mind to others with your ability."

"There are others who can hear the thoughts of those around them?" I had never met anyone else who had my ability.

"Yes, a few, but not many, and your ability seems more developed than the few I have met. Anyway, besides closing my mind to others, I can also open it to them if I choose, but I find it best not to share. It is safer, and I don't readily share my ability with others as well." I turned slightly to look at him. "Don't you find it best not to allow other vampires to know what your skill is?"

"So why are you telling me?" He was right; besides Bella and my family, no one else knew what I could hear. He was now an exception, but how did he know I wouldn't be able to hear him?

"In case you are wondering, Bella told me. She was afraid you would hear what I was thinking and she knew you felt threatened by me."

"How did she tell you all of that? I didn't hear you discussing it with her."

"No, we passed notes." I instantly remembered the rustling of paper I had heard at the beginning of Bella's message session. "It was a little hard to give her a massage and pass notes at the same time, but we did at first, then we didn't need to. She seemed to enjoy the massage more than talking, and she was rather tense and knotted because of the skiing. I was surprised her father even allowed this." All the time he spoke, his hands never stopped, and I began to understand how Alice and Rose could enjoy a massage.

Bella had been right earlier, he did have magic fingers. The more he worked through my muscles, the less tension I felt. I felt more relaxed than I did since arriving back at the lodge and finding Bella injured, and the more he worked through the muscles in my neck and shoulders and then down my back the more relaxed I became.

"Her mother was the one who finally made her father agree to allow Bella to come on this trip. Emmett gave Bella the trip because of a bet he lost with her."

I was about to ask another question when Bella began moaning in her sleep; we both stopped and turned towards her. She had her right hand on her injured arm and whimpering in pain. "Hurts Edward, it hurts," she murmured.

"Can you give her something?" I noticed a pained look on his face, almost as if he were literally feeling her pain.

I immediately reached over to the nightstand for the bottle of pills Carlisle left and dumped two into my hand. Then I rose from the chair and got a glass of water from the bathroom. Bella was still whimpering and moaning, so I gently sat down on the bed, raised her head slightly while saying, "Bella, swallow these. They will help."

As soon as she swallowed the pills, I laid her back down, turned to put the glass on the table, and was then going to return to the chair, but Bella reached out and grabbed my arm. "Don't leave," she whispered.

I patted her hand and replied, "I'm right here Bella, I'm not going to leave you."

A slight smile crossed her face; she let out a short sigh and seemed to go back into a deeper sleep.

I could still see the same pained expression on Peter's face. "You're empathic too." I didn't need to ask, I could tell.

"Yes, I suffer the pain of those I feel deeply about, and it is not an ability one can turn off and on," he confessed.

"Can you channel that emotion to change it as well?" I asked thinking of Jasper.

"No, I can only suffer along with the person. Not an ability one really wants to have," he admitted.

"When did you first notice this ability in connection to Bella?" It couldn't have been when he first met her or he would have sensed her fear, or so I thought.

"Not until later in our acquaintance. It was probably a week after I met her. I had gone to visit her at her home and she and her mother were baking cookies. Bella had inadvertently brushed her arm against the hot cookie sheet and I felt its searing burn. Bella cried out, but I had to refrain from wincing because of the pain. It would not have been advantageous for me if Bella's mother had noticed; the problem was Bella's mother noticed more things than I thought she did. It was two weeks later when Joanna, Bella's mother, asked me if I had extra sensory powers. I laughed about it thinking I could play down whatever she was thinking, but then she told me about a great-grandmother she had who came over from Ireland. Even further back in the family history, she claimed, was a great-grandmother who was a seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, and the family story was that she had a special ability to feel the emotions of others, especially emotions that were extremely strong."

I had always wondered about Bella's mother; at times, it seemed as if she knew more than she was saying, and this made me wonder if I wasn't correct about her.

"It seemed safer, at that point to admit that I seemed to have the same ability with Bella. What I didn't admit was that I thought the connection was stronger because of my contact with her blood."

I winced at that reminder and my jealousy flared up once again.

"Edward, it was brief. I only drank enough to make sure my venom didn't taint her blood. I felt extremely guilty that the vampire side of me took over when I met her. It is a guilt that I still feel, especially in light of the fact that she made a major change in my life. Has she told you anything about our time with each other?"

"Some," I admitted reluctantly.

"Did she tell you that she suggested the idea of animal blood as a substitute?"

"She did." For some reason, I felt awkward admitting anything she told me about him. I wanted him to reveal these things on his own, almost as if I wanted to disconnect the two of them from each other.

"She changed my entire existence with that suggestion. For the first time in almost 400 years, I was finally about to co-mingle with humans. I never dreamed I would have that freedom again. I must tell you, I am glad she found someone who can appreciate just how unique she is. No human would ever be able to understand that part of her, but you can." I must have frowned at his words for he added, "Edward, I mean neither of you any harm. Bella is like a daughter to me, and I think, in light of her injury, that you need to understand my place in Bella's life."

"Your place? You bit her; she was only six. How can you explain that?" Once again, I felt extremely defensive of her, and despite the marvelous massage he had given me, I still didn't completely trust him around Bella. I did register somewhere in the back of my mind that she had known who he was and hadn't told me, but my anger over that was toward him and not her.

"You know what happens when one of us denies our natural needs. The thirst builds beyond control sometimes. When I found Bella in the woods, I was at a point where the need was almost greater than the control. I found early on in my existence that survival is stronger than denial but I have always been able to control my need to the point where even at its worst, I do not kill anyone. My need when I met Bella had been stronger than I had ever encountered before because of an incident prior to finding Bella. There had been reports of a rogue bear in the area and I had been hunting it. I don't condone the killing of humans by any other life form. Not five minutes before I found Bella, I had found the bear and killed it, but the blood aroused my need more than I had ever experienced before. Bella's scent drew me to her. I used every ounce of control I had to keep myself from just taking and draining her."

"Why did you bite her inside her thigh?" I needed an explanation for the scar I had just discovered. Such an intimate place on a small child, he had to explain his reasoning to me.

"It is the one place where no one was likely to see the bite. Had I known at the time how many other scars Bella already had on her body, I might have used one of them to camouflage my bite mark, but I didn't. I regret ever biting her, but at the time, my desire and instinct ruled me. You should know something else about that incident. The bear that I killed was tracking Bella and had I not killed it, it would have killed her. Her magnetism for danger had attracted two beasts that day, it was fortunate that the lesser of the two evils found her." He looked over to Bella, who was clinging tightly to my hand with the hand of her uninjured arm, but she was also thrashing around slightly trying to kick the sheet off.

I turned to her and with my free hand, ran it over her forehead. My hand's coldness, helped relieve a little of the fever I felt and helped her slip back in to a quieter sleep.

"Why did you stay around her after biting her? Why didn't you just leave her alone?" I needed answers to those questions. He could have just left her after returning her to her parents. Had he stayed because of some other attraction to her? If so, I needed to know what the attraction was.

"Bella was the most unusual human I had ever met. I imagine you have learned this as well; she is immune to our form of mind persuasion. When I tried to make her forget, she remembered. That was not supposed to happen. I took her back to her parents hoping to find an answer to why she was so different." He gazed over at Bella for a moment before continuing. "She must have some special draw to you; I sense a protectiveness that goes beyond the norm of what our kind feels for humans. Is this not so?"

"Not that that is really any of your business, but yes." I was unwilling to share more.

"Maybe you do not see it as my business, but I made her mother a promise to watch out for her if the need ever arose. Should her mother ask me about you, I would like to give her the appropriate answer. I don't see signs of you using her, and according to her, you are in love with each other. I know that true love completely alters us and thereafter, never changes. Do you really love her?"

He was watching me for signs of honesty; I could sense that much by looking in his eyes, but I was still reluctant to be open with him.

"Edward, I'm not here to take Bella from you; I'm here to find out why I should tell her mother to trust you if she should ever ask."

"Why would Bella's mother ask you anything about me?" To my knowledge, Bella's mother did not even know that this 'vampire' knew anything about me. Then I remembered his comment about a promise to Bella's mother. "Why would Bella's mother ask you to watch out for Bella? What kind of need would arise that would require your protection?"

"Just what do you know about Joanna?" He seemed very comfortable using her Christian name, something else that bothered me about him.

I sensed he was leaving a lot unsaid, and not being able to hear his thoughts was making me feel uncomfortable. "I know she loves her daughter and wants the best for her. I know she thinks I'm good for Bella."

"She told you that?"

"I heard it."

"Did you hear anything from her about knowing what you are?"

That stopped me from any kind of response. I had to repeat it a few times to realize just what he was implying, and when I did respond it was to clarify his words. "She knows I'm a . . .," I couldn't bring myself to finish the statement, so he did.

"Vampire – yes, I imagine she does."

I felt Bella release my hand and wrap her arm around mine as she murmured, "No, I won't let go," making me wonder if Bella had subconsciously been following our conversation, and if she realized that her mother knew the truth about me.

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**If you enjoyed this chapter even the tiniest bit, please say so, your reviews are more important than you realize to the existence and continuation of this story, and if I get 10 reviews, I will post the next chapter on Christmas Day. How is that for a Christmas present? A big thank you to my continual reviews, you guys rock!!!  
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	41. Chapter 41 Bella's Mother?

**AN: I did not receive 10 reviews, but now that Christmas is over, I can post this chapter. I do wish to thank Noble Korhedron, Adam 1207, justdazzled, SamiLea, and Xavier2163 for being the only 5 readers who were kind enough to send me Christmas present by reviewing the last chapter. You guys rock, thanks, and I wish all of you a Happy New Year.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Cullen family or Bella Swan, but Peter and Bella's parents are all mine.**

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Two – Bella's Mother?**

"Shh," I patted Bella's hand, "Everything is okay." Reassuring Bella and easing her fears were my first concern. When she seemed soothed and sleeping again, I turned to Peter. "How can she know?"

"I'm not sure, and she will never use that term, and she may not even think it, but still, she knows what we are. My guess is that it has to do with her mixed heritage. On her mother's side, she was Irish, but on her father's, she is Romanian. Joanna seems to have inherited some abilities from both sides of her heritage. She is an extremely perceptive woman and sees much more than she will admit to seeing, but she keeps it all to herself. Her husband, on the other hand, will only see what appears normal to him. He denies the special attributes of his heritage completely." He paused while he stared over at Bella. I could see the love for her in his eyes, which caused my jealousy to rise up in me. "Her father tries to keep Bella safe, but he does it in such a way that he tries to shut her away from the world. If he had his choice, he would lock her in her room and not allow her out."

For the first time since we began talking, I chuckled, but only because he was correct. Bella's father did want to shut her away from the world, but both Jasper and Emmett had commented how much I was like her father. I had no desire to deny her experiencing life; I just wished I could keep her safer while she was experiencing it, and I didn't regret feeling that way.

"I see you comprehend what I mean," he offered. "Bella would suffocate if he did that to her, and I hope you are not as overly protective."

"I'm trying not to be," I admitted to him and to myself, "But it is hard, especially when accidents like this happen."

"She could just as easily have had this accident in her own home, Edward. There are some instances when one can protect her from outside forces, but other times, mishaps occur that cannot be foreseen or avoided. This too is a part of life, and as long as Bella remains human, you will have to accept this fact."

"Why do you feel so connected to Bella? You say you don't love her like I do, so why does she remain important to you?" He could have just walked out of her life and not thought about her again. He could have avoided even this contact with her, but he hadn't, and now he was here in her room trying to worm his way back into her life. I didn't feel comfortable about his presence in her life even though she assured me I had no need to be jealous of him.

He laughed softly. "My connection to Bella is twofold. First, I owe Bella for freeing me from a lifestyle I abhorred. As I mentioned before, she made it possible for me to exist among humans again without the fear of attacking them; I owe her for my new existence. Besides that, she is a unique individual, and I hope you really appreciate how rare and special she is. I don't think you could find anyone else like her in this world." He paused and stared down at Bella before returning his gaze to me. "Joanna is the other reason I feel closely connected to Bella. You see, I'm . . . well, she . . ."

Before he could say anymore, I saw in my mind's eyes what he was trying to say. Whether he projected the picture into my mind or it slipped there from him was unclear, but what it showed me was extremely revealing. "You're in love with her!"

He only nodded in reply and at the same time, a small moan escaped from Bella's lips. I quickly turned my attention to her, and quietly asked, "Are you in pain? I can't give you any more pills."

Very weakly she said, "Water, please, Edward, I need a glass of water."

I removed her arm from my hand and quickly retrieved a glass of cold water from the bathroom faucet.

"Help me sit up," her voice was still weak and soft, but I did as she asked trying not to jostle her injured arm. She let out another soft moan of pain as I moved her into a sitting position, and then handed her the glass from which she sipped slowly for a few moments before handing it back to me. "Edward, will you help me sit up by sitting behind me?" She asked as I moved to place the water glass once again on the bedside table.

Without saying a word, I walked around to the other side of the bed, carefully climbed onto it, and positioned myself in such a way that we would both be facing Peter. Then I very gently helped her to move between my legs so she could rest her back against me.

Once she settled, she looked up at Peter, and for the first time I noticed her lower lip was quivering. "You're in love with my mother?" Although spoken softly, I heard the shock and sadness in her voice, but I was amazed that she held in her comment until she was settled against me.

Peter inclined his head not meeting her gaze. "Yes, little one, I am."

"Edward, he's in love with my mother! My mother," she sobbed, "and all this time I thought he was coming to see me. He used me to see my mother!" Her sob became deeper and she hid her face in her free hand.

I would have chuckled because she wasn't happy with the idea of 'him' being in love with her mother, but I didn't have the heart to when I realized how she felt. Who could blame her for feeling hurt? Maybe – I hoped – this would make her like 'him' less, and that idea made me happy, but at the same time, he had made her cry, and that made me angry. I experienced so many emotions all at one time.

"Oh, little one, it was never like that," he reached out to touch her but she drew back into me. I wrapped my arms around her waist as a sign of comfort. I would have lifted her up into my lap, but with her broken arm, I was afraid I might hurt her. Instead, she turned just enough so she could lay the side of her face against my chest and continued to cry.

"It was never me he came to see; I thought he liked me, but it wasn't me he wanted to see. I was so stupid," she mourned into my chest.

"Shhh," I wanted so much to pull her closer and comfort her properly, but I couldn't because of her arm.

"Oh, honey, it was never . . ." he began but she cut him off.

"That is why you were always over at our house, because of how you felt about her," Bella sobbed, trembling against me in her sorrow.

I suspected she felt rejected because of what she had just learned. When she had first shared her story about Peter, she seemed so sure he had stayed around for her and to discover suddenly that her mother's presence had kept him close must have hurt her deeply.

Peter got up, and sat on the edge of the bed trying to put his hand on her shoulder. I imagined he felt her rejection. In a way, I hoped it caused him as much pain as I imagined she was feeling at that moment. In fact, I wanted him to suffer as much as she must have been.

"My precious little one," I had to repress a growl at the use of such an endearment directed at Bella from another male. "I came to see you as much as I came to see her. I felt connected to you the moment I met you in the woods. You were so unique. You didn't cry when I bit you," I did growl at the reminder that he bit her, but he ignored me while Bella reached up and caressed my cheek, "and you felt no fear of me when you should have. Bella, you intrigued me; I didn't have to return you to your parents, but I felt obligated because of how I felt about you. I didn't know I would feel that way about your mother, but when I carried you into camp, it just happened. My feelings for you where enhanced when I met your mother. I always saw you as the daughter I was never able to have, and I love you as if you were my daughter."

Bella looked up from my chest at him; he had taken a position on the side of the bed that allowed him to see her face. "Really?" She had stopped sobbing as he spoke.

"Yes, little one, and who wouldn't fall in love with you in some manner? You are an extremely special person, and I imagine that is why the rest of the Cullen family has accepted you as one of their family. You, my precious little one, have a heart that finds it perfectly acceptable to love monsters that other humans run away from and shun. You are a precious jewel, more valuable than any human can ever fathom."

Although he had used endearments I resented coming from him, he had been truthful about everything he told her. She was the heart of my life, and her value to me was incomprehensible. I could also feel his words soothing her hurt.

"But you love my mom," she bluntly stated.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't love you also." He reminded her.

"Have you told her that you love her?" It was a curt demand, but as she spoke, I enjoyed her anger toward him.

She had turned again so she was facing more toward him, and I watched over her shoulder as she put her good hand under her injured arm's elbow as if to help hold it up. While their discussion continued, I picked up one of the pillows on the bed and gently but carefully positioned a pillow under her injured arm.

"No, Bella. I'm not trying to ruin her marriage, and just like Edward, I have no control over this. Like I said, it just happened that first day I walked into camp carrying you."

He put his hand under her chin, and I felt uncomfortable with his contact with her, but I repressed as much of my jealousy as possible, although I did want him to let go of her. Because of my feelings, I tightened my grip around her waist not wanting to let go of her for fear she would go to him and also to reassure her that I was there for her.

"Does her blood call to you like mine does to Edward?" Again, I felt her tremble, but I could not distinguish if it was out of fear, dislike, or pain. Holding her, as I was, limited my ability to watch her facial expressions, which hindered my ability to discern her emotions as she spoke.

"Call to me? I don't understand?" He dropped his hand from her chin and looked to me for clarification.

I had sat as passively as possible listening to them, allowing them to speak without interference from me. It had been hard a few times not to make comments, but with that question I actually felt superior to him because I knew something he didn't, and I answered with pride for the knowledge I held. "Carlisle says it doesn't happen very often, but once in a great while we will meet someone whose blood has the ability to draw us to them because of its alluring aroma. He compares it to the Siren's call, from the old Greek legends, which lured sailors to their death. However, in this case, the death can be to the Siren rather than the one lured in by the call. Bella's blood is just like that for me."

"So you drank from her as well?" I noticed the shock in his voice and then in a sharper, harder tone, he asked, "How often?"

Bella reached out her good hand and placed it on his. "Uncle Peter, it's not what you think. The first time was my fault because I cut myself and began to bleed. Edward licked the blood but did not drink it." She chuckled softly before continuing but also removed her hand from his arm and laid it on mine that was wrapped snuggly around her waist under the pillow. "He tried to tell me I imagined what happened, just like you did, but I challenged him about what he did. He didn't know that I had already met you and knew what he was because of his actions. After that, he only came to me a few times, but never did he bite me." Her voice was firm and strong as she quickly finished the last piece of information. She must have seen the hard look come into his eyes as I did when she mentioned that I tasted her blood more than once. "Uncle Peter, I would willingly have let him bite me, and I still would if he needed to. I had already fallen in love with him, and I was willing to give him anything he wanted," she added even more defiantly. I smiled slightly at her defense of my desire for her blood.

"And now?" He directed this specifically at me, and before I answered, I felt Bella suppress a laugh.

"Now, I reign in my desires. My only desires are to keep her safe and protected, to love her to the best of my ability, and to one day make her mine completely." I offered an open and honest answer, and as I did, I felt Bella squeeze my arm slightly.

He stared at Bella, then at me, and finally back to Bella. "You are willing to change her?" I could not tell if he was displeased or shocked by the idea.

"Yes, it is the only way we can be together."

"Uncle Peter," Bella cut in, "We have talked about this a number of times, and it is what I want. I don't want to live without him, and I can't continue to live with him as a human. There are too many barriers that seem to come between us, and besides, for me, it will be safer to be as he is because of all the accidents I seem to have."

"I mentioned earlier to Edward that your mother made me promise her something. Do you know what she asked me?"

Even if Bella didn't, I had a feeling that I knew what she had asked of him. Bella's mother loved her and wanted everything that was best for her; she also knew the dangers that seemed to await Bella in life, so being a mother, she would want any type of protection for her daughter that she could find. I think she saw Peter as a way of keeping her daughter safe from death.

"Tell me," Bella breathed softly.

"She asked me to do what ever was in my power to keep you in this world if anything life-threatening happened to you."

I was wondering if those where his words or hers. I would save that question for later to ask.

"How would you even know if I were harmed?"

"We keep in contact. She calls me often with reports on how you're doing. I have never lost contact. Since you made it possible for me to exist among humans more easily, it has been possible to establish a home and all the amenities that go along with one like a telephone."

"She calls you and didn't tell me?" I could feel Bella's anger as it made her tremble slightly. I held her just a little more tightly to let her know I was there for her.

"Bella, she thought it best not to let your father know that we still talk. She also felt it safer not to let you know just in case you said something, but," he put his hand up so he must have seen that she was about to say something, "I did ask her a number of times if it might be better if you knew she and I were in contact. I'm not sure what her reason was, but she felt it would be better if you didn't know. I want you to know, little one, that I did not agree with her."

I felt Bella tense up again, but I could not tell if it was because of the conversation or due to pain.

"Does she love you?" Bella's voice had taken on a harsher tone, and once again, I wished I were in a position to observe her facial expressions as she spoke.

"I don't know, Bella. That topic never entered into our conversation."

"Are you going to tell her?" I could not decipher if the anger I heard from Bella was because he might have told her mother about his feelings, or fear that he might tell.

"I have never shared my feelings with her, and she has never shown anything but friendship toward me. The one real love we seem to share is our love for you, and when we talk, you are the featured topic of every conversation." Watching Peter's expression revealed that he felt saddened that Bella's mother did not seem to return his affections, but I could also see his sincerity when he mentioned their shared love of Bella. It still bothered me that another male loved Bella, but I continued to remind myself that he felt a fatherly love for her; the same kind of love, in fact, that Carlisle felt for her, and I didn't begrudge that love.

"Then you knew about Edward before I saw you."

From my position behind her, her tone sounded accusatory.

"Yes, she did mention that you were seeing a young man that she thought was very good for you. Actually, the fact that you both seemed so in love excited her, and she hoped it would be a lasting relationship. She also told me that since you had struck up a friendship with Alice, that you seemed more outgoing and livelier than you had been for some time. She had begun to worry about you shutting yourself off so much from socializing with others. She claimed you opened up when you began visiting the Cullen household but that you blossomed when you started dating Edward. Those where her words by the way, and you must know that we remember everything we see and hear in precise details."

"Unfortunately," Bella grumbled in response.

"Why is it unfortunate?" He smiled as he asked her that.

"Because it means your stupid memories also include all the embarrassing moments I have around you. Things I would rather you would forget." I could feel the blush rushing up in her and knew that her cheeks were turning a lovely color of red.

"Doesn't that bother you?" He directed his question at me.

"What, her blush?"

"Yes." He did seem genuinely curious as to my response.

"No, I actually enjoy it when she blushes. First, it causes her to feel warmer to my touch, which I enjoy, and second, she looks lovely when her cheeks turn multiple colors of red and pink." I smiled as I spoke and thought of how often I had seen her with the heightened rosy hues in her lovely cheeks.

"But doesn't it also enhance the aroma of her blood?" I could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"Yes, but as I said, I'm more focused on 'her' than on her blood. The temptation is still there, but I'm finding it easy to push that particular temptation aside." I felt my smile widen as I thought of the other temptations she presented to me that were harder to resist. The last one occurring while we had been lying in bed together before Carlisle brought him into the room.

I heard him chuckle during my contemplation of Bella's unique temptations for me.

"Should I even ask what other temptations my 'little one' causes to rise up in you?" He asked still chuckling, but his addition of 'my' caused the jealousy in me to flare up again.

"I'm not little anymore, Uncle Peter. Could you just call me Bella?"

"Sure," he continued chuckling. "It is just hard to imagine that you might be able to cause that type of reaction in any male, let alone one who is over fifty years old. I still see you as that shy little girl with the big inquisitive brown eyes."

In response, Bella wiggled back against me, causing one of those moments of desire, and I knew Peter caught her actions and my inadvertent response.

"Are you going to marry Bella?" He asked sharply in response to what he had just witnessed.

"Of course he is," she retorted, "I showed you the ring . . . Edward," I heard a low moan in Bella's voice. "My ring is gone." I noticed she was looking down at her hand and had noticed that the ring was in fact missing from her finger.

I laid my chin lightly on Bella's shoulder and softly whispered into her ear, "No Bella, it is over on the dresser." I felt the tension that had risen quickly as the feared loss of her ring drained away from her. "I imagine Carlisle or Alice removed it knowing it would only be in the way while Carlisle was tending to your arm. Everything is fine; I'll place the ring on your finger when the swelling in your hand goes down, and until then, we'll put it back on its chain so you can wear it around your neck."

"Thank you Edward."

Once again she shifted her position between my legs, but this time I focused more on her movements than on what they did to me, and I finally noticed that she seemed uncomfortable.

"Bella, does your arm hurt?"

"No, and yes," she laughed softly, "I know that is confusing, but my shoulder hurts and that causes twinges of pain in my arm. I would ask to lie down again, but that pain in my shoulder was what first woke me up, and then I heard you and Peter talking and instead of bothering either of you, I listened, until the pain was extremely uncomfortable."

"Edward, would you help me move Bella?" Peter looked questionably at me.

I wasn't sure what he planned to do. 'Stupid barrier,' I thought. If he didn't have it, then I would know what he planned.

Almost as if he had read my mind, he stated, "I want to turn her around so she is facing you. I think I know why her shoulder hurts, and I might be able to help."

My response was a simple nod.

"Okay, help Bella onto her knees," he directed, and I lifted Bella in such a manner that she was able to kneel in front of me. "Now Bella, move towards me, and Edward, you come forward until your leg are hanging off the side of the bed."

Moving carefully, I edged forward, but I was careful that Bella would not fall off the bed.

When we were finally in position, Peter said, "Bella, turn around and face Edward." When she had complied, he continued. "I'll need your help Edward. I want you to put your hands around Bella's waist, and between us, we will lift Bella up, and when we do, Bella, you stretch your legs out in front of you."

I gladly put my hands around Bella's waist, but what I didn't know was that 'he' would put his hands under her derrière in such a way that he could help her stretch out her legs. As I watched, I growled softly causing Bella to chuckle and he simply said, "Edward, I see her only as a daughter, and currently as a patient more than anything else, so please refrain from such a threat. Now, Bella, I'm going to set you between Edward's legs and I want you to straddle his waist with your legs; I also want you to put your good hand on his shoulder and make sure there is at least six inches between you and Edward. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I heard trust seeping through her voice. She didn't question his actions but trusted him fully. I, on the other hand, did not trust him at all, and I didn't understand what he was planning on doing.

Once Bella seemed settled, he said, "Edward, I need you to continue to hold Bella's waist so she doesn't shift around, and Bella, try to use your good arm to hold you position slightly away from Edward. I don't want your arm to be injured anymore." When we both seemed correctly positioned, he continued. "I'm going to check your shoulders for any displaced bones or strained muscles. If I need to apply a little pressure, then I will ask you both to help. Bella, you need to remain stationary so I can do what I need to do to help ease the pain in your shoulder."

"I understand," she replied.

I felt as he applied slight pressure to her shoulders, and then, at one point near her shoulder blade, it was nice that Bella was so short because I could see over her shoulder, he applied slightly more pressure, and I heard a muffled pop. Then he moved his hands down her spine until he reached her lower back, where he ran his hand slowly across it – I heard a few more faint pops as he preformed that task. With that finished, he moved his hands back up to her shoulders and began to massage them. He continued that for about fifteen minutes with Bella moaning softly, but not in pain.

When he was finished, Bella said, "Thank you, Uncle Peter, that feels much better," and then she leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips before adding, "Thank you Edward. I know that was hard for you to watch."

I chuckled softly as I asked, "How did you know?"

She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I felt your shoulder tense up a number of times." Even though she whispered her response, I knew Peter had heard it. "Edward," she looked up at me with expectation in her eyes, "Do you think Carlisle will let me have another pain pill? My arm is really throbbing."

"I'll call and ask," I said as I gently lifted her up and sat her carefully back on the bed. I walked over to the phone as Peter sat down next to her asking if there was anything more he could do to help relieve her pain; she told him no, that it was all in her arm under the cast that was hurting.

I spoke quickly to Carlisle letting him know when she had the last one and the fact that Bella said it was still hurting. In response, he was surprised that she was awake, but said it would be safe to give her another pill, and if she didn't fall back to sleep in the next few minutes, to give her one of the orange ones as well.

Bella smiled as I placed a pain pill in her good hand, and after putting in her mouth, I handed her the glass of water.

"Carlisle says you need to lie down and try to go back to sleep." I looked over at Peter and added, "He also thinks it might be best if you left for now so Bella can concentrate on sleeping instead of talking."

Bella looked over at him, "You'll come back and see me?" She sounded as if she wasn't sure if he would want to see her after what she had learned about his feelings for her mother.

"I promise I'll be back when you a feeling a little better."

"Will you be attending the New Year's Eve party tomorrow night?"

"As part of the staff, I'm required to attend," he explained.

"Will you sit with us?" She looked at him hopefully.

I personally didn't want him there, but for her sake, I would tolerate him sitting with my family.

"Yes, little one, I would be honored to sit with you and your new family."

"Thank you, Uncle Peter," she finished as she finally laid down.

I walked Peter to the door, and he asked so softly he knew Bella would not hear, "Will your family welcome me?"

"If she wants you there, we will not deny her your company," it was as truthful an answer as I could give. I wasn't sure how the family would react to him, but I did know that none of them would want to upset Bella.

"Edward, please don't leave me," Bella called from the bed.

"I'm not leaving Bella; I'll be right there."

Peter waved to Bella from the door as he said, "Sleep well little one," and then he left with me closing the door quietly but firmly behind him.

I could not say I hated him, but I was still not comfortable with him around Bella. Jealousy, I was learning, was a hard thing to overcome, especially when another male called the one you loved 'precious,' 'honey,' and other endearing names. That was my job, and I decided I would use as many endearments for her from that point on to show her she meant more to me than anyone else.

Besides that, I also had new information to ponder. As I laid down beside her, she tried to snuggle up to me as best as she could without hurting her arm, and I helped by moving her so her head fit into the crook of my arm as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

I listened as her breathing finally evened out and she fell asleep, and this gave me time to analyze everything I had learned that evening, especially the fact that Peter loved Bella's mother as much as I loved Bella – although he never did say whether her blood called to him, and that Bella's mother not only knew what we were but wanted one of us to change Bella if she were ever in danger of losing her life.

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**Once again, reviews are more than welcome; I really do enjoy hearing what you think of the story, the plot, and the characters. By the way, I answer questions as well – unless it would be a complete spoiler.**


	42. Chapter 42 Preparations

**AN: I do not own the Cullen family or Bella.**

**I wanted to post this prior to New Year's Eve, and I am hoping to finish and post the New Year's Eve party tomorrow night, if possible. I still have some writing to do. Keep your fingers crossed that I make it.**

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Three – Preparations**

After her last pain pill, Bella slept for four undisturbed hours, and during that time, I had a vast variety of topics to ponder beginning with the changes Bella had wrought in my existence. I finally divided my existence into two categories – pre-Bella and post-Bella.

Pre-Bella was unexciting and consisted of very few emotions. Love did exist but on a very narrow, shallow plain, and it all revolved around my family. I knew the love of a father and mother because that was how I felt toward Carlisle and Esme. I also knew and felt the sibling form of love for my brothers and sisters, but that was where it ended. Besides my family, the rest of the world could have been nonexistent. Yes, I intermingled with humans, but to me they were nothing more than an annoyance especially their thoughts. I felt no love for hobbies or pastimes, and besides my deep interest in music, I didn't expend any energy on them. I did read, but more to fill the time than because of a love for literature. Don't get me wrong; I did have my favorites, but if the boredom of my existence became unbearable, then I was willing to read whatever was available.

Besides the afore-mentioned limited emotional experiences, the other emotion I was most familiar with was boredom; after the first twenty years, one day, for me, simply bled into the next with very little change. As I said, no excitement occurred in my existence. That was the wretched extent of my pre-Bella days. I drank when I was thirsty, I attended school because it was required, and I interacted with my family when they weren't preoccupied with other pastimes. Mostly, I was the proverbial fifth wheel. In other words, I was there when my family needed me, and I made myself mostly invisible when they didn't.

My post-Bella existence was the exact opposite. My family might still not need me very often, but Bella constantly needed me, and I needed her just as often. She brought true love into my existence. Before her, love had been an obscure concept; after her, the word was a lighthouse illuminating a path that unfailingly led directly to her.

Besides love, other emotions arose within me. Jealousy, hate, envy, need, want, desire, and the one I struggled with the most around her, lust. I had a slight inkling about what lust was because of Emmett, but I never really experienced it because his lust resulted from his desire for Rose. Jasper also could share his lust for Alice, but it still was not the same. Rose and Alice were my sisters, and I did not have that type of feeling toward them. Then Bella entered my existence, and I suddenly begin to understand what lust really felt like, and how hard it could be not to fulfill it.

Jealousy, hate, and envy many times seemed to blend as a mix of overwhelming emotions. Anytime some unworthy, immature, adolescent had any type of unwelcoming thought about Bella, I seethed with all three emotions. In my mind, Bella belonged to me; therefore, no other male had any right even to imagine touching her, no less allowing their filthy minds to have immoral thoughts about her. This, however, did not mean I wanted to control her or that I owned her like a possession, because just as I saw her as mine, I saw myself as hers; therefore, it angered me anytime some female thought about me like some males thought about Bella.

Besides the new emotional awareness, Bella brought fear, dread, and an overwhelming need to provide protection. Before Bella, I didn't need to protect anyone; after Bella's extraordinary entry into my world, I experienced a continual desire to protect her. In addition to the negative feelings, there were the positives – adventure and excitement. Every day with Bella was new and thrilling in both good and bad ways. Since hazardous misadventure waited for her to walk by, she kept me ever vigilant about her safety. Even when things looked safe, I could never let my protection down just in case; much like what happened while we were returning from our sunrise observation. I should never have presumed she was safe because of the early hour or the fact that we were moving fast. If an accident existed, it would find her. Who else would slip on soap in the shower and not only break her arm but also knock herself unconscious in the process? Okay, so that might not seem positive, but I had to admit, my days were no long dull and boring, and I had to be ever vigilant for anything that might happen to or with Bella, day or night.

Therefore, not all my adventures with Bella ended up with unpleasant consequences. Lying with her at night brought about some very interesting temptations that helped me learn to control my libido, which until Bella's appearance, I didn't realize I still possessed. Who knew I was capable of thinking and desiring to act just like Emmett – definitely something I did not intend to share with Emmett. Every sigh, moan, wriggle, and touch from her caused me to recognize my own growing needs and desires, and not only those physical actions caused my desires to spike, but also her natural aroma stirred me. Besides the fact that the scent of her blood aroused my hunger, her body gave off other natural scents, and in my case, those scents seemed to not only call out to me, but also reel me in. Those scents that her body emitted made me first realize I had a libido, and over time, I admitted it was a very active one. I had two and a half more years before Bella would graduate, and I personally was not sure if I could reign in my desires that long. One little push from Bella could easily send me over the edge at anytime.

I spent half of Bella's sleeping time thinking over all those changes in my world, and the other half had me analyzing what I had learned about Peter. Like Alice and I, he too had a special gift, but I suspected there was more to his ability than he had admitted. I knew he could block me out of his thoughts, but he was also empathic. He was the first empathic I had ever met, and I meant to ask Carlisle about his ability.

Carlisle had more experience and knowledge about some of the gifts other vampires possessed, and it would be interesting to know if he had ever encountered one with that particular ability. Of course, Peter claimed his was limited to Bella, but I wondered about that. He stated he loved Bella's mother, so I could not help but wonder if the gift extended to her as well.

The other thought that plagued me about him was his evasion to Bella's question. Did Joanna's blood call out to him as much as Bella's did to me? Most vampires' mates did not have blood that lured them in; according to Carlisle, Bella was unique even in that aspect. The fact that her blood was my siren call did not automatically signify that she was also my perfect mate, so it was feasible that Joanna was just his mate but that her blood was not his siren call. If that was the case, however, I wondered why he didn't just admit that to Bella when she asked especially after I clarified what it meant.

Then there was the mention, by him, of the Tsar. Only Russia had Tsars, and the last Russian Tsar was executed at the time of World War I. So, when was he changed, and who changed him? The man presented an enigma to me, and I planned to learn everything I could about him before the year was over, which was only a day away.

Bella had invited him to attend the New Year's Eve party with my family, and he had accepted, so I would use the time to interrogate him. I would recruit my family to help, but I would not include Bella. She loved him like an uncle, and I did not want to hurt her, but I did want to discover all I could about him. I would have to handle the situation carefully, I decided.

By the time Bella awoke the next morning, I had already decided I needed time to speak privately with my family, so I called Carlisle and asked him so quickly that Bella was unable to understand me to examine Bella's arm. As if he had read my mind, he told both Bella and I that it would be best for me to leave, and to tell Alice to come in about twenty minutes later. His intent was to give me enough time to talk to the rest of the family during his examination, and then have Alice help Bella clean up before making her spend the rest of the day sleeping and resting.

It took little time for me to share with my family everything I knew about Aleksey Kuchin including the fact that he was Bella's Uncle Peter. The last fact they already knew because Carlisle had revealed that the night before. I also shared with them my ideas for the dinner that evening and my desire to learn all we could about this vampire who had a role in Bella's life whether I liked it or not.

While Alice helped Bella, I shared the same information with Carlisle who felt it only right that we learn all we could. Besides, Bella's mother knew about us because of him, or so, that was how I saw it.

Bella did spend the rest of the day quietly in her room; she even napped a few times, but she wouldn't allow me out of the room until Alice barged in late in the afternoon and ordered me out of the room.

"I need time to get Bella dressed and presentable for the party tonight, but I don't know how I'll be able to make her cast fashionable," she chimed as she walked into the room. Bella had once compared Alice's voice to the ringing of synchronized musical bells, and that's just what it reminded me of as she waltzed commandingly into the room. "Go Edward, you to need to dress, and I laid your suit out on your bed for you. Make sure you don't wrinkle it before dinner, and don't come back for two hours. I need at least that much time to make Bella passable with this atrocity plastered to her arm."

As Alice spoke, I watched fear, horror, and then a pleading look cross Bella's face. I knew Alice would tolerate no arguments from me; Jasper once compared her to a tempest that blew through with such force that no vampire could stand against her will, and he was right. I would have been a fool to even attempt to stop Alice in her pursuit of making Bella one of the most elegant and stylish women at the party that evening. I gave the only comfort possible, "Bella, I will be within in the sound of your voice at all times, and I promise, if Alice does anything to cause you pain, I will instantly appear to protect you from her."

Bella chuckled halfheartedly, "You and I both know she would never intentionally do that because it would ruin her fun, but Edward, I hate dressing up."

I chuckled in response to her comment and added, "But you looked beautiful at the Christmas dance after Alice worked her magic on you."

"Magic is right," she moaned, "She could turn burlap into fine silk and a scarecrow into the prom queen, but it doesn't mean I have fun while she is doing it to me."

"She loves you Bella," I reminded her, "but just the same, call if you really need me."

I was sitting on the bed beside Bella as we talked, and after my comment, she laid her head on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "I'll always need you Edward, even if Alice isn't dressing me up," then she kissed my cheek. "Now go, before I change my mind and lock myself in the bathroom."

"It wouldn't help, Bella," Alice laughed, "I know how to pick locks among other things."

"I figured you would just break the door down," Bella retorted sarcastically.

"Oh no, Carlisle has forbidden any of us to cause damage to another hotel door on penalty of losing our charge cards and cars."

Bella gave me a shocked disbelieving look, and I chuckled as I assured her, "Believe me, you do not want to know," and then I hastily got up and left the room. It would be a long two hours for me, and unfortunately, two hours to Alice actually meant three, but upon reflection, it was well worth the wait.

Impatience was another emotion I gained post-Bella, and Alice was the one person who tried my patience the most. 'Alice,' I mentally projected, 'Are you finished yet?'

'Almost Edward, please be patient, it will be well worth the wait,' her mental reply shot back quickly.

"Are you talking to Edward?"

I might have been five doors down from her room, but I could still hear what they said. Of course, I also heard what others said and thought in the rooms between but I skillfully blocked those out.

"How could you tell?"

"You made that face I see so often when you're talking to him."

"Bella, I don't make faces."

I heard Bella's clear distinct laugh, "Yes, you do. You get this tiny little crease in your forehead that tells me you're thinking something to him, since he is the only one who can hear your thoughts."

"Okay, so I was talking to him, but before he breaks down the door with his impatience, let me finish off these few curls."

"Don't you think you've put enough curls in my hair? Besides, why have curls at all when you'll just pull it all up on top of my head anyway."

"Bella, you just don't understand style. This is going to look so fabulous on you that you'll turn every head in the room." From the tone in Alice's voice, I could tell she was the impatient one where Bella was concerned.

"Let's face it Alice, when you and Rose walk into the room, no one will be looking at me."

'Good,' I thought to myself. I didn't particularly want anyone else looking at my fiancé. Let them look at Alice and Rose, they weren't my concern anyway.

'I'm done, Edward, no thanks to Bella's squirming and complaining, so you can come in now.' Alice had hardly finished her nonverbal invitation, and I was at Bella's door turning the knob.

What greeted me was a vision of loveliness. Bella was even more beautiful than the night of the Christmas dance. Her dress had the same cut and style of the dress Alice made her for the dance, but even I knew the material was silk rather than satin like the last one, and the blue was a deeper shade than before. The best part was the top; it was sleeveless and looked as if it were tied around Bella's neck, thereby leaving her casted arm free of any awkwardness; even the sling holding the cast was of the same color as Bella's dress. I didn't know how Alice managed that, but the beauty I saw in front of me stunned me speechless.

Bella had been correct about Alice putting her hair up, but it was placed in such a way that tendrils of it spilled over whatever Alice had used to hold her hair on top of her head; the tendrils fell over the sides cascading down in soft curls over Bella's delicate neck and just barely brushed her bare shoulders. Bella might believe that Alice and Rose would outshine her, but in my eyes, there would be no one more exquisite than 'my' Bella.

"Edward, close your mouth; you look ridiculous with it hanging open," Alice reprimanded, and I had been unaware that it was open.

"Bella," I breathed softly, almost as if I thought she would vanish if I spoke too loudly, "You really are a vision of loveliness."

"Sure," she huffed, "The cast will surpass any other part of me. I can just hear it now; 'look, it's the clumsy girl who fell in the shower;' how utterly embarrassing. Maybe I should just stay in my room."

"And what about Peter, you specially asked him to join us. Are you going to abandon him also?" It was a lowdown unfair comment to make, but I knew it would help her change her mind about attending the party. I might not want other males ogling her, but I did want them to see her on my arm, and, just to mark my territory, I asked, "Would you wear your engagement ring tonight?"

Alice laughed, "Afraid someone will steal her from you?"

Bella huffed again, "Not likely." Then she looked me squarely in the eyes, "Edward is the only one I will be looking at this evening. He is the one who truly shines, and I wish I had a ring he could wear so all the females knew he was mine." She turned, walked over to her dresser, picked up her chain with the attached ring, removed the ring, and walked back to me. "Would you like to put in on?" She held the ring out to me causing me to smile.

I knew Alice would find it laughable, but I knelt down, took Bella's hand in mind, and asked, "Miss Swan, will you consent to be mine forever?"

The smile lit up her entire face as she replied, "Forever," and I slipped the ring back on her finger where it truly belonged.

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**It might have been a shorter chapter than normal, but was it worthy of a review? I leave that up to the reader's decision.**


	43. Chapter 43 Revelations and Resolutions 1

**AN: Disclaimer as usual – Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullen family and Bella. I have the pleasure of claiming the rights to Aleksandr Petro Kuchmezov, and with less pleasure, Elesha.**

**I huge thanks goes out to graciousplum, Karma32, and GuysGirls3 for taking time today to edit this so I could post it tonight.**

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Four – Revelations and Resolutions (Part 1)**

Peter and the rest of the family already occupied seats at a rectangular table when I led Bella into the huge ballroom opened up for the New Year's Eve party. The two open seats would place Bella to the right of Esme and across the table from Peter with me seated on Bella's right.

Peter was the first to rise from his chair as I ushered Bella to the table.

"You look stunning, little one." He chuckled softly before adding, "But not so little anymore; you have grown up, so I guess you are right. I will begin using your Christian name, but inside, I want you to know, you will always be 'my little one.'" He cocked an eye at me and added, "I'm not, in any way, trying to invade on your claim on her, Edward. To you, she is your fiancé, your chosen one, but to me, she will always be my adopted daughter." He smiled at Carlisle as he added, "I guess we will have to share her as a daughter."

Carlisle laughed in response, "I'm willing to share if you are."

Despite their attempt at humor, I did not find it very funny. I knew Bella saw Carlisle as her soon to be adopted father as well as father-in-law, but I wasn't sure I wanted to share any of her time with him, at least not in the beginning, and then the thought of sharing her with Peter actually angered me. Refraining from commenting or growling took all of my self-restraint. I also saw Esme watching me out of the corner of her eye, so I offered her a smile of reassurance.

As soon as we reached the table, Emmett jumped up and pulled a chair out for Bella.

"I'm sorry your Christmas present ended in a major injury, Bella. I feel slightly responsible. If I hadn't lost the bet, then this might have been avoided." His face and thoughts revealed his sincerity, and it somewhat amazed me that he felt responsible.

Bella smiled at him and touched his hand that was still on the back of the chair that he was holding for her. "Emmett, this is in no way your fault. I have had the best time on this trip; better than I've had in a long time, and you gave me a gift that I will treasure forever." She then sat down in the chair and let him push her in, and then he swiftly returned to his seat as I sat down beside Bella. "Emmett, you allowed me to learn to ski as a human, and that is worth a lot in my opinion," she said so softly that only those of us at the table could hear her.

If Emmett could have blushed, I think that would have been his moment. Instead, he gave her a crooked grin that lit up his face, something I never saw Emmett do before.

"Bella, dear, you really do look charming," Esme redirected the conversation much to Emmett's relief. Bella had actually left him speechless, and he felt he had no adequate words to use for a reply to her comment.

"Oh, we have Alice to thank for that. If it hadn't been for her, I probably would have come down in a gunny sack." Her eyes focused directly on Alice, "Isn't that what you called the dress I was planning to wear?"

Alice promptly grabbed Jasper's hand and said, "Dance with me," as she dragged him away from the table and onto the dance floor.

At the same time, Esme whispered, "Alice, you didn't?" From Alice's quick getaway, it was obvious that was exactly what she had said. "We'll talk about this later, young lady," Esme promised as she retreated.

"So, Peter, could you tell us a little more about yourself. It is so seldom we meet others of our kind who have conformed to our eating habits." Carlisle had been a vampire longer than the rest of us, and he enjoyed meeting others of our kind and collecting their stories. In his office at home, he had a compilation of the stories he had collected over the years.

"I feel I owe all of you, and especially Bella," he looked around at all of us and then focused directly on Bella, "the truth about myself."

This was one story I would definitely not miss.

"My full name is Aleksandr Petro Kuchmezov, but when I first met Bella, I gave her the name Peter because I knew it would be simpler for her. Up until Bella's suggestion about drinking animal rather than human blood, I didn't really take time to establish an identity among humans. Once I learned I could exist solely on animal blood, I took time to create and establish an American identity and finally settled on the name Aleksey Kuchin. It took me awhile to find someone who could forge the proper papers for me without asking awkward questions, but between my ability to suggest he help, and the money was I able to collect, he seemed willing to do what I asked. Soon after that, I trained as a massage therapist. It was something I had seen once and decided with much practice that I could master the skill."

Alice and Jasper slipped back to the table while he had been talking; Jasper had told Alice he wanted to hear this history, so she agreed to return even though she still felt slightly ashamed after Esme's mild reprimand. After they sat down, I looked around at my family and noticed that they were all paying close attention to his story. He reminded me of one of the great orators who, once they began to speak, seemed to captivate their audience.

"That is my more current history, but I imagine you would be more interested in my time before Bella," he had directed this comment directly to Carlisle.

"Yes, I would be very interested in your history," Carlisle replied. Had Carlisle been human, this would have been the point where he would have pulled out paper and pen to take notes.

"I'm not aware of your personal history," he still directed this to Carlisle, "but I imagine most of your family came after you."

Carlisle's reply was a simple nod.

"My story begins in Russia around the mid fifteen hundreds. I lived peacefully in the town of Novgorod where I was a schoolmaster. I had a beautiful wife and a son whom I adored. At that time, Ivan IV had become Tsar of Russia and we had expected a peaceful and prosperous reign from him, but something happened to change him. Many rumors existed as to what caused him to become cruel, but the rumors had no substantial truth to support them; at least, not during my time. Then, in 1570, Ivan came to our town and began a vicious massacre of our religious leaders, and then turned on the citizens of the town. I never understood what caused this attack, but I tried, like most men in the town, to keep my family safe and hidden. I never discovered why my name came to the attention of the Tsar's men, but one day they broke down the door of my home and ransacked the house until they found my wife and son, and dragged all three of us to the center of town. Without warning, my wife and son were killed in front of me, and then the Tsar's soldier beat me unmercifully finally leaving me for dead in the town square. I never thought I would last until nightfall, but I did. It was at that point that someone entered the square, picked up my pain-racked body, and carried me to an unknown destination. I never saw who it was, nor did I comprehend where I was, but it felt like a wooded area because of the scents."

I glanced over at Bella and noticed a few stray tears running down her cheek; I reached out and gently wiped them off her cheek causing her to turn toward me allowing me to see the sorrow in her eyes, and then she turned back to fix her gaze once again on the speaker.

"I had no hope that I would survive the night, and the movement had caused all my wounds to bleed more, and just as I thought my body would finally perish, I felt teeth sink into my neck, and then the burning began. I'm sure the vampire who carried me from the town bit me two or three more times, but it was the first that caused the excruciating pain. I knew not how long I suffered, but finally, one day near sunrise, I felt the pain lessen and finally leave. I awoken to my new life, but I had no comprehension of where I was or what I was. I did have a vague recollection that I had lost something precious, but it was years before I reclaimed my lost memories. My first thoughts, as I watched the sun bleed across the sky, were of the gnawing thirst that burned my throat. It was also in that same instance that I smelt the draw of fresh pulsating blood and without realizing it, my body instantly sprang upon my first victim. I am ashamed to admit that I killed the first human I encountered as a vampire."

I noticed he was looking at Bella at that moment, and even though I could not read his thoughts, I could read the shame and fear of rejection in his eyes. He needed Bella's understanding and compassion as he admitted his crime; I could empathize with his feeling because it was my exact feelings toward Bella after I had taken blood from her the first night I had visited her, but at that time I didn't believe she would see me as anything but a monster.

Without hesitation, Bella reached out and laid her uninjured hand upon his, and I knew her eyes were telling him she forgave him.

"Afterwards, I was appalled at my actions, and I found ways to avoid human contact until my thirst drove me to find sustenance, but I learned to drink carefully so as not to harm another living being. I also learned that as I drank, I could fill the humans mind with an altered memory of our encounter, thereby keeping my presence and identity hidden from other humans. I spent the next ten years wandering around the countryside hiding during the day and then traveling at night. I didn't want anyone to see me least they recognized what I had become. It was during one of my nightly rambles that I ran into someone who claimed to know me, but I had no memory of him. He called me friend, and then informed me that he had thought I had died with my family. Being confused, I asked him who my family was, and he responded by recounting the tale of my wife and son's death and my fatal beating; although, in retrospect, he confessed the beating must not have been fatal like everyone thought. I just stared at him blankly, not understanding what he was trying to tell me; for me, it was still a buried memory. After he finished talking, I told him he must have mistaken me for someone else because I never had a wife or child, and I truthfully told him I did not know who he was. The incident, however, did spur me into seeking a new location to hide and periodically hunt. For the next thirty years, I traveled southward until I ended up somewhere around what was then Bohemia. The area suited me well because of the dense forests and isolated villages. In all that time, I never once met another of my kind until then. I knew what I was, but I had little understanding of what to expect from my existence or if I could expect anything other experiences besides my lonely travels. I did know that I hated the idea of living off human blood. Every time I succumbed to my natural need, I felt guilty about giving in to it."

"Did you ever think about ending your existence?" Emmett's natural curiosity finally caused him to ask. I had heard him thinking the question for some time before he finally could not suppress it any longer.

"No, I have to admit that as much as I hated what I had become, I never wanted to end my existence. Maybe it has something to do with our survival instincts, of that I'm not sure, but I do know it was those instincts that always drew me to fresh blood when my body could no longer refrain from drinking what it needed for replenishment."

I saw Bella wince at that comment, so I whispered softly, "Are you okay?"

She turned to me and replied, "My arm hurts," with a soft little sob.

I instantly reached in my pocket and withdrew her pain pills, and then I took one out and handed it to her. She smiled as she accepted it and swallowed it down with a sip of her vanilla coke that someone had ordered for her prior to our arrival.

When we both turned back to Aleksey, I noticed he had paused in his recollection while Bella had taken her pill.

"Bella, you should not wait so long to let Edward know how much your arm hurts." His liquid eyes burned with the shared pain he experienced with Bella, and I mentally noted to myself to watch him for her pain.

I turned slightly and laid my hand upon her cheek noting that her skin was hotter than normal. "Carlisle, Bella is running a slight fever. Is this too much for her too soon after her accident?"

"The fever is normal, Edward; I expect her to run high for the next few days before it finally goes down."

"I'm not leaving Edward," Bella whispered to me, "So please, don't force me to do something I don't want."

"I'm sorry, I was just worried," I responded. How could she know that I feared losing her if I didn't tell her, but that moment was not the right time to tell her just how scared I was. "I'll allow Carlisle to be the judge of your stamina, and I'll abide by what he prescribes."

"Bella," Aleksey also reached over to lay his hand upon her cheek, "Please don't overtax yourself on my account."

"This may be the last time I see you," she stated as she leaned into his hand. From the look in his eyes, I prepared myself for his response.

"Bella, honey," he chuckled softly, "I know where you live, and now that you know so much more about me, I will definitely be in contact with you. Like I told your mother before your father moved you both out of my existence, I'm only a phone call away."

"Thank you," she murmured in reply.

"So, you ended up in Bohemia and met another vampire. Then what happened," Emmett prompted.

Aleksey removed his hand from Bella's cheek, for which I was extremely grateful, and continued his story.

"He lived in the Bohemian Forest, which was a heavily forested mountain range. He had a small cottage deep in the woods away from humans. He told me he ventured into some of the neighboring villages only once a month, but was careful never to visit the same village two months in a row. He invited me to stay with him, and for the first time, I learned about the existence of 'kept ones.'

"Kept ones?" Bella asked.

"It's someone who lives with a vampire," Alice chimed in.

"Is that what I am?" Bella looked around the table at all of us as she spoke.

Esme, who sat to the left of Bella, put her arm around Bella's shoulder, as she replied, "No sweetie, a kept one lives with a chosen vampire and shares his or her blood in return for care and protection. Usually, the human is someone who was harmed or abused in some atrocious manner and is seeking some kind of protection from further harm or abuse. Most of these 'kept' humans are women, but there are a few men who are also 'kept' by vampires."

"Oh," was Bella's only response.

I hadn't meant for Bella to receive a lesson in vampirism, but her curiosity would not allow for glossed over information, and Aleksey's history would cover a greater time span than Carlisle's.

"I spent five years with this couple and discovered that special bonds could exist between a human and a vampire, but I could also see the health deterioration of his human every time he drank from her. It was also the first time that I realized our bites left a particular type of scar. I had never stayed around to witness the formation of the scar on any of my victims, but this woman had a multitude of white bite marks scattered around her body; most were located around and near her neck and wrist. It was also during this time that I learned about the Protectors and my obligation to serve as a Protector sometime during my existence."

I gazed at Bella and saw her questioning look, but instead of saying anything, I just squeezed her hand slightly. In response, she leaned her head against my arm and continued listening to Aleksey's story. I knew it would be something I would have to explain to her later.

"After leaving this interesting couple, I began to seek out the Protectors for a twofold purpose. First, I wanted to learn more about what I was, and second, I hoped that by finding them, I might also find my past human memories that were still lost to me. It was around 1620 when I found their residence. They had established themselves in a remote area of Bulgaria. There were only 11 members when I found them, so they welcomed my presence. I spent twenty years policing the entire eastern hemisphere with the group. At one point, our ranks had swelled to twenty-one members, but they were down to eighteen when I left."

"Did you join shortly after that Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

Bella turned to me and mouthed, 'Policing?' and I mouthed back, 'Later.' I knew I would need a little time to explain properly to her about that special group of people and I didn't want to interrupt Aleksey's story. I felt there was still a lot to learn about him, and if he were to remain a part of Bella's life – that was a definite possibility knowing Bella – then I wanted to know everything about him that he was willing to share.

"Not until 1688, so that would have been forty-eight years, roughly, after you served your time," Carlisle replied.

"Yes, I left them in 1640, but gained more from my time with them than I had thought possible. One of the protectors had the ability to uncover deeply hidden memories, and it seems that's what happened to my remaining human memories. Because of my ability to close my mind and thoughts to others, it took longer than it would have for anyone else. First, I had to learn to open my thoughts and mind to him, so began my practice of using my ability and fully developing it. In the end, I gained the remaining parts of my human memory, but I also gained the agony of remembering what I had lost." He paused as his face displayed the memory of his pain. Bella reached across the table and just held his hand while he smiled back at her. "Do you realize, little one, that you helped bring some joy back into my existence? That day I found you in the woods was the salvation of me. I had thought that I would never find any kind of happiness again, but you did for me what no one else could do. When I say I owe you for so much, I really mean it."

I watched as a single tear slid down Bella's pale check. So much emotion seemed to be passing between them, but I couldn't fully comprehend what or how because both of their minds were shut off from me.

Aleksey seemed to recollect his thoughts, and then continued. "After I left the Protectors, I began to travel around Europe again. It was also during that time that the great witch-hunts were occurring in Europe, so I was extremely careful to keep myself hidden from human site. I took to traveling only at night, and I only hunted, when necessary on nights of new moons." His story was interrupted by low growls erupting from both Alice and Rose.

"She's coming over," Rose growled under her breath, and it was then that I heard her thoughts.

'What a pleasantly disgusting little reunion,' I heard from her.

"Well, if it isn't the entire Cullen clan with Eddie's little plaything, and Lexie, what a surprise to see you again." Venomous hate filtered through her tone, and it took no real listening on my part to know my family resented Elesha's intrusion on our small gathering.

"Elesha," Aleksey tersely replied.

"So, is anyone going to invite me to join this happy little party?" She really was oblivious to the hatred we all cast her way.

Before anyone else could reply, Aleksey rose from his seat, took her arm by the elbow, and led her away from the table. I watched as he ushered her out a side door and was lost to sight but not hearing.

"I will warn you only once, leave now, or you will regret your next move. I never want to see or hear that you have bothered this family again. Do you understand me?" I didn't need to see his face or hear his thoughts to know that his warning carried unspoken threats. His voice left no doubt to the seriousness of his threat, but it was her thoughts that revealed even more.

'He's serious . . . my God; he would really do it this time . . .,' her last thought was accompanied with a visual of a furious snarl on his face and eyes that bore into her fiercely. "I'm not looking for trouble, Lex . . . Alexandre. I'm going to my room; I'll pack and leave immediately." Her voiced trembled with fear, and then he must have released her for I heard her heels clicking on the tiled floor as she walked away.

I then watched as Aleksey came through the door and returned to the table. He was coolly composed, as if nothing had happened.

"What was that all about?" Bella whispered across to him as he sat down.

He looked around at all of us as he said, "I must apologize for her. She is entirely my fault."

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**A huge thanks to everyone who posted a review for the last chapter, and I hope everyone is finding something to like about Uncle Peter.**

**I really wanted to post this last evening, but because of my mom's surgery, I just could not finish this until this morning. I hope to finish part 2 in the next day or two.**


	44. Chapter 44 Revelations and Resolutions 2

_**AN: As with each new chapter, I have to announce that I do not own the Cullen family or Bella, but Aleksey and Elesha are my very own creations.**_

_**I do apologize for the delay in posting, school took precedence unfortunately. I hope you like the chapter. **_

**Journal Entry Thirty-Five – Revelations and Resolutions (Part 2) [1958-1959]**

"You're fault? How so?" Rose asked. "Why would anyone ever want to take credit for her?"

"Not credit, but responsibility," he amended.

"You changed her," Carlisle stated blandly, but silently wondered how, why, and when.

"Yes, much to my regret, I did change her; although, you have to understand the circumstances. I was in France, near a small hamlet and extremely thirsty. It was late and no moon shone, but as I approached the town, I saw a bright flickering light in the town square. I crept closer . . ." he stopped mid-sentence as three waiters approached our table bringing our meal.

We each had salad placed in front of us, and Bella glanced over toward me with a slight smile, but said nothing while the waiters completed their task.

As soon as they left, Bella whispered over to me, "Edward, what happens when they return and find your plates untouched?"

"We'll manage Bella," I whispered back.

I watched Bella's eyes widen when she saw Emmett lift a forkful of salad to his mouth, and then, faster than she was able to follow, his fork disappeared under the table only to return to his mouth empty.

"He didn't really eat that, did he?" She whispered back to me.

Emmett, who was seated two places to the left of Aleksey, snickered, "Bella, would I really eat anything that I hadn't caught myself?"

To Emmett's right, Rose chimed, "And if it doesn't belong to the bear family, you'd give it to someone else."

Alice and Jasper, who were to the right of me – Jasper being on the end of the table, chuckled at Rose's comment, while Aleksey just looked on.

Bella whispered across the table, "Are you going to eat that?"

Aleksey smiled as he unfolded his napkin, laid it on his lap, and then mimicked Emmett's movements. It was easy enough for me to guess he placed the offending forkful in his napkin to dispose of later. Poor Bella, unable to follow vampire speed movements, she watched in amazement as the rest of the family seemed to eat a few forkfuls of their food as well.

To ease her mind, I leaned over close to her and whispered, "They're not really eating it; it only looks that way. Napkins provide good hiding places for unwanted human food."

"Oh," she replied softly, and then took a few bites of her own salad, then pushed the rest of it around with her fork.

"Does the food not please you?" Aleksey asked her as he carefully watched her.

"It's fine," she looked up at him, "I'm just not that hungry."

I looked over at Carlisle to see if he was concerned about her lack of appetite, but he returned my concerned look with a slight smile and a silent, 'That is to be expected.'

Soup followed the salad course, to which most of us told the waiter to return it because we disliked cream of mushroom soup. Bella, however, did eat a little more of the soup, so that must have been better for her. After the soup, the main course arrived consisting of mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, and roast beef. None of it pleased the senses, and I was ready to step outside for some fresh air. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett used the time to dance thereby removing themselves from the appalling aroma. Bella only took a few bites of what was on her plate and then pushed it away.

"Edward," she leaned close to me, "I need some fresh air; I don't feel well."

I promptly got up and led her to an outside door. The air outside made Bella's breathe visible to me, and I saw her shiver as we stepped outside. "I don't think you should remain out here Bella; it is too cold for you."

"Please, Edward, give me a moment. I can't go back in there until the food is removed from the table."

"Is the food that bad?" I knew how it smelt to me, but if the food were actually tainted or spoiled, then it would smell bad to Bella as well.

"Not in the way you mean." She leaned against me for support and wrapped her good arm around my waist. "I think between the pills and the broken arm, I just cannot stomach so much solid food. The soup was good because it was smooth and liquid, but the solid food just made me feel sick."

As she spoke, I watched our table hoping the waiters would arrive soon to remove the plates. Carlisle silently asked, 'Does Bella want anymore?' I responded with a quick shake of my head, and Carlisle instantly called over a waiter who promptly began to remove the plates from our table.

"Bella," I spoke down upon her head that she had laid against me, "The plates are gone, I think you need to go back inside before you catch pneumonia."

She chuckled softly causing a slight but pleasurable vibration against my chest. "Dad will be mad enough about the broken arm; I don't want to add pneumonia to his list of gripes."

I led her quickly back inside, where Alice met us with a thick sweater. "I saw you shivering, so this should warm you up, and dessert will be something your stomach will tolerate," she informed us just above a whisper.

Alice, as expected, had seen correctly. A small dish of chocolate mousse was waiting for Bella when she sat down. She took one small spoonful, and after placing it in her mouth, smiled at me.

Aleksey had suspended his story during the meal, and waited until the waiters had removed all our dishes except Bella's – when he reached for it, Bella waved the waiter away saying, "I'll finish it later," – before continuing his personal history.

"Okay, tell us more," Emmett encouraged with a deep laugh. In his mind, he was trying to devise ways Elesha's change might have gone awry thereby causing her to be the way she was. His simplest solution was that she was repulsive even as a human and his most complex scenario was that Aleksey injected her with too little venom to make a complete change – I didn't want to tell him, that too little would have either killed her outright, or led to her being a renegade.

Aleksey chuckled, I hoped at Emmett's enthusiasm. I still did not know the extent of Aleksey's abilities. "It was 1665 and I was in France; the flickering I saw in the town square was a large fire consuming the remains of a human being." I heard Bella gasp, so I squeezed her hand gently. "Europe was in the midst of a massive witch-hunt during this time, Bella, and many women, men, and children were burned for their crimes. In this case, Elesha was being burned as a witch. She was still alive, but only barely when I arrived at the edge of the square. The scene horrified me, so I ran in and removed her, carrying her to the nearest stream I could find. To the few villagers who had remained to watch her burn to death, I imagine they believed either the devil or God made her instantly vanish. As soon as I reached the stream, I immersed her body in it, and then I bit her several times in the neck, the wrists, and just above her heart. I pushed in as much venom as possible hoping to start the change as quickly as possible. By the way, her real name is Millicent Eglantine."

"What made you decide to save this woman?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm not absolutely sure. I had never changed anyone before, nor had I desired to change anyone even though I knew how, but with her, it was as if something drew me to her and with what voice she had left, she was pleading to live. The best answer I have is that I felt compelled to save her. Her change took four agonizing days, I'm not sure if it was a result of her extensive injuries, that I didn't get enough venom in her, or because of what she actually was. You see, I didn't learn until after her change was complete that she really was a witch. Of course, changing eradicated that part of her, but that was also something I didn't know about until after I changed her. Even during my time as a Protector, I didn't know there were real witches or wizards, and that if a vampire changed one, it would change them in unusual ways. Elesha's change definitely had some strange side affects. As you must have discovered, she does not attract humans to her like most vampires; instead, humans spurn her almost instinctively, and most vampires find her repulsive."

"To say the least," Alice muttered under her breath.

Aleksey chuckled at her comment, "As I said," he continued, "She does not attract anyone or anything like most vampires. In addition, I've heard others comment on how her looks can also be offensive."

"Let us not forget her voice," Jasper added with his own chuckle as he remembered his comment about wanting to wash his ears out with acid due to the shrieking sounds her voice made.

"Just remember, she is not solely responsible for how she is; if I had never changed her . . ."

"She would be dead," Bella stated flatly. "Uncle Peter, she asked to live, maybe not the way she is living, but the alternative was everlasting death. Maybe she prefers this to death. How she is does not seem to deter her from acting smug and uppity around others, so maybe she accepts what she is without caring. If that is the case, then you can't blame yourself for how she turned out."

"You always do try to make others feel better about themselves, don't you?" His smile showed his sincerity, and he was right. Bella had the most compassionate heart I had ever encountered; she thought first of others and their welfare before she thought about hers.

Bella just shyly smiled at his comment, and Emmett chuckled as he added, "That's our Bella, a ray of sunshine during the thunderstorm," and of course, his comment caused her to blush.

"I had forgotten how easily you did that," Aleksey said.

"Have you seen all the colors she can turn?" Emmett chuckled.

"Stop teasing Bella, Emmett, you know it will only cause her more embarrassment," Esme admonished.

"Sorry mom," Emmett hung his head, but I knew he wasn't completely sincere. He might not like to be reprimanded by the woman he loved and cherished as his mother, but he also enjoyed watching Bella blush.

"If everyone is finished with their side comments," Carlisle looked at each of us before focusing on Emmett, "I would like to hear the rest of Aleksey's story."

"As I said, Elesha's change took four days, and when she finally awoke, she was more aggressive than most new vampires. Her thirst was greater than I had witnessed before, and her first two attacks left her victims completely drained. She left it up to me to hide the bodies because she saw nothing wrong with leaving them lay where she dropped them." As he recounted the horror of her deeds, Bella leaned her head against my arm and I wrapped my arm carefully around her shoulder so as not to jostle her injured arm. "Her first week was spent satisfying her thirst, which seemed unquenchable. I had a hard time monitoring her and stopping her before she killed again. I had also never encountered anyone as protective of their prey as her. The first night she drank, I could not get close enough to her to warn her to stop because she snarled and snapped at me as I approached her. At one point, I thought she meant to attack me, and she might have if I hadn't backed off. By her second week, I was at least able to train her about hunting and drinking without killing or injuring her prey, but there was nothing I could do to train her to leave her victims with pleasant memories. She either left them whimpering in fear or completely without a memory of the event or sometimes, even the two or three days leading up to it. I forced myself to stay with her for three months, teaching her what I could, and then I had to leave her. In fact, I had to leave one night while she was feeding so she wouldn't hear or see my escape, and then I had to put a great amount of distance between us so she couldn't track me. I used rivers, animal scents, and anything else I could think of to cover my tracks. In the end, I traveled to England. The witch-hunts were still occurring there during that time, so I avoided all villages that held suspected witches. I had learned my lesson about changing someone suspected of witchcraft, and I never chose to change anyone else after that."

"And still you promised Bella's mother you would change Bella if anything threatened her life?" I could not help but ask that question wondering why he would make such a choice after deciding never to change anyone else again.

"Of all people, I think you would understand Edward. When someone you love asks you for a favor, you are more than willing to comply."

"Wait, he's in love with Bella's mother?" Emmett chimed in. "Why didn't you tell us this?" He was looking at me as I spoke.

"Emmett, you and Rose missed that fact because you both decided to visit the steam room and play around." Jasper smirked and silently warned me, 'Be careful, Emmett might replay their time together.'

"Well, it's news to us. Did you know about this Bella?" Emmett seemed more concerned about this information than interested in a replay of his time with Rose and for that, I was thankful.

"I found out about it last night," she informed him under her breath.

"Yes, just to clarify for everyone, I love Joanna the same way Edward loves Bella. No, Joanna does not know this, and I would prefer it if no one told her. I have no intention of breaking up her marriage, and it is possible that she does not feel that way about me, and before anyone asks, no, her blood does not attract me like Bella's blood attracts Edward." I was ready to believe, at this point, the he could also read our minds, especially after Aleksey's next statement. "I would like to drop this subject, if you don't mind, and continue with my story."

My entire family had questions they wanted to ask about his feeling, but that stopped them from asking, and it was one reason why I suspected he could read our minds. He had never said he couldn't hear what we thought just that he could shut me out of his mind. I would save that question for later.

"I continued my stay in England for a few years and then migrated through the Scandinavian countries, until I ended up in Russia again. This time, I traveled to Siberia where I remained until 1747. That year a number of trappers traveled to what is now Alaska, and I decided to go along. I only remained in Alaska for a few months, and then I traveled to Canada and later down into America. I have been in this country over a hundred years, and I have never had a desire to return to Russia. I spent most of my time, however, hiding from human until I met Bella. That, as I mentioned before, was when my entire existence changed. Now I'm able to study, take classes, hold a job, mingle with humans, and lead a semblance of a normal existence. As to Edward's question from before about changing Bella, if the need ever did arise, and her mother asked me to change her, I would. I don't fear her ending up like Elesha; Bella could never be like her. Bella is too unique. Over the years, I have wondered what type of human witch Elesha was. Maybe her personality repelled people even then, and maybe she never was a compassionate, sensitive person. Even spending time with other Protectors left me realizing how much we don't understand about ourselves." He paused as if in thought.

"Have you even taken the time to talk to others of our kind and listen to their stories?" Carlisle had a deep interest in who and what we really were. He believed he could uncover truths by studying our kind especially through interviews. The hardest part about his studies was finding renegades to interview. Renegades were so volatile that they were a danger to their own kind as well as to humans, and they had perfected the art of hiding.

Aleksey chuckled in response to Carlisle's question. "Up until a few years ago, all I cared about was not killing a human. Therefore, the answer to your question is no, but I suspect you have conducted just such research and interviews. Am I not correct?"

"You are, and there is so much I would like to ask you, and share with you."

I could tell this might become a long conversation, and I had noticed Bella beginning to yawn earlier after finally finishing her dessert. I also suspected it was just about time for another pain pill.

"Did you know the Protectors have been trying to recruit vampires in the Americas to start a branch on this side of the ocean?" Aleksey's question surprised me, but from Carlisle's looks and thoughts, it seemed this was not news to him.

"I've been approached a few times, but I'm not ready, especially now, to consider becoming involved in such an action."

"I can understand your position." I didn't want to say anything in front of Bella, but I knew they both were referring to Bella knowing about us, and I suspected that Aleksey would also be thinking about what Joanna knew as well.

"Edward, I think you should take Bella upstairs before she falls asleep at the table," Esme encouraged.

"No, I wanted to remain until midnight," Bella protested while trying to stifle a yawn.

"Aw Bella, did you really want to be able to kiss me that much?" Emmett teased.

"Yuck, I still remember the last time. Don't even joke about that Emmett; I never had a real brother, but thanks to you, I know just what it feels like to kiss a brother," Bella retorted.

"Do I even want to ask what you mean, little one?" Aleksey's grin showed he was joking, but Bella still replied with a deep blush.

"No, just take my word for it; it wasn't pleasant for either of us."

"How about you just kiss us all on the check, and then call it a night. I'm sure Edward will be happy to keep you company until midnight," Carlisle suggested. "Besides, the last thing I want is you to wear yourself out and get sicker. It will be hard enough to explain to your father tomorrow how you managed to break your arm."

"Doctor's orders?" Bella asked.

"Yes, the doctor orders you to bed, and you should take another pain pill before you lie down," he replied with a fatherly smile that I knew well.

Bella dutifully complied with Carlisle's request, and allowed me to escort her back to her room. Once in her room, she allowed her exhaustion to show.

"Bella," I began to admonish her, "You should have . . ."

"I know Edward. I was tired but said nothing because I wanted to hear Uncle Peter's story, and I have a complete list of questions to ask you, but I won't' ask them tonight. Right now, I'm going to change and then lie down, but you must promise to stay with me, and kiss me when the year changes." I could see her weariness as she spoke, and was glad she was willing to lie down.

"I will stay all night, and I will not move until you tell me to," I promised. There was no need to tell her that I had no desire to leave her side. I would rather spend my time with her; there would be time to stay up all night with the family after Bella was changed. For now, Bella was all that mattered in my world for she was my universe, and I intended to revolve all my interests and thoughts around her.

I laid down on the bed while Bella went to change, but it wasn't long before I heard her call, "Edward, I need some help."

I walked over to the door wandering what kind of help she might need, and if maybe I should have had Alice come up to help Bella change. As I reached the door it opened, and Bella turned with her back to me. "Can you undo the tie on this dress? There is no way that I can reach it."

Her back was bare, and she still had most of her hair piled on top of her head. Her shoulders and neck were a pale white, and without really thinking, I began to kiss her lightly across her shoulders, and then focused on her neck. Her skin smelt of lilac and lavender, two of Alice's favorite scents, but on Bella, they smelt different because of her own tempting aroma. I ran my nose across the back of her neck as I breathed in deeply of her scent, "Hmm, you smell extremely nice."

"Just nice?" She teased.

"Heavenly, then, and very tempting in so many ways," I amended while placing feather light kisses on her neck.

"Then maybe you should just undo that knot holding up the top of my dress."

"As inviting as that sounds, what happens when it falls down?" I knew I would be gentleman and refrain from looking, but still, the irresistible temptation was there.

"Oh, I'll hold the front so you won't be offended by what you might see."

I knew she was teasing, but I had to add, "Nothing about you would ever offend me. You're Venus in disguise, and Cupid has shot me with too many arrows. The day we get married will be the happiest day of my life, and then I'll be able to show you how much I love and cherish you instead of just telling you." I kissed her once more on each shoulder before finally pulling the band of fabric that would undo the knot of material that was holding her bodice up.

"Kissing me like that, I would say, is a good start to showing me how much you love me," she responded while I undid the knot. As I finished my allotted task, she turned around, leaned into me on her tiptoes, and kissed my chin.

"Tease," I said as she pulled away from me laughing and shut the door. I heard her laughing softly to herself, so I added, "I hear you in there," which caused her laughing to cease, but then the water began running.

I walked over and sat down on her bed to await her emergence from the bathroom, and while I sat there, I thought about Aleksey's history. He was older than Carlisle, and he had served with the Protectors, which impressed me. I also thought about his ability and still felt as if he hadn't told us everything about his skills. He had said he didn't share his thoughts freely even as a human, so I wondered if, were he still human, would his thoughts also be closed from me just like Bella's thoughts. The fact that he had changed Elesha had also surprised me. If it had been me, I don't know if I would have admitted I was responsible for her. I had never heard of a witch or wizard who had been changed before, so I guess the possibility existed that if changed they might possibly be different from the rest of us.

My mind stopped wandering when Bella walked out the door. She might wear long gowns to bed, and they were generally flannel in the winter, but she still looked beautiful and tempting. Of course, the cast and sling on her arm reminded me of how fragile she truly was.

"How did you manage to get that on?" I asked as I starred at her and realized she would have had to put her arm through the sleeve opening.

"Easy," she replied, "Alice altered this so I could step into it, work the sleeve opening over my cast – see, the hole is larger," she turned to show me a hole larger on the left than on the right, "and then the rest I could pull up and slip on. Of course, I do need you to do the buttons in the back," she finished before turning around so I could see the five buttons that closed up the back opening.

I noticed the back was open almost to her waist, but no more revealing than the open-backed dress she had been wearing that evening. I gladly did up the buttons for her, as I commented, "This is getting to be a habit."

"What is?" She asked without turning around.

"Dressing and undressing you, maybe we won't need Alice to help you anymore."

Bella had to know I was teasing, but I could feel the blush rushing up her body, and as I fastened the last button, I watched in amazement as her neck turned a bright red.

"Maybe we need to move the wedding up, after all." Bella's voice was soft but hinted at a slight tremor of nervousness.

I softly placed a kiss on the back of her neck before saying, "Have a seat Bella."

"Why?"

I pulled over a chair for her to sit in before responding, "So I can take the pins out of your hair. I would imagine it would be uncomfortable sleeping with your hair up."

"Oh," she said as she sat down, "I hadn't thought about that." She paused as I gently began to remove the numerous hairpins that Alice had skillfully placed in her hair, and watched as her dark tresses flowed down her back. "Edward," she began tentatively, "would you really stay to help me dress and undress while my arm is broken?"

I wasn't sure if she was seeking an affirmative to that question, but I knew my restraint would not only waiver, but would absolutely fail if I actually began to see more of Bella while she dressed and undressed. "Bella, I would never take advantage of such a situation, but even I have my limitations. You'll just have to wait until after the wedding before that will ever occur, and as tempting as advancing the date is at the moment, I still think we need time to prepare your parents for your leaving home."

"Oh well, it was a nice thought," she sighed.

I leaned in to whisper the question in her ear, "Which one, my seeing more of the real Bella, or moving up the date?" Then I kissed the nape of her neck before continuing the task of removing the hairpins.

Bella blushed again, but made no reply; instead, she sat silently as I removed the rest of the pins.

"Done," I announced as I helped her from the chair.

"Edward, do you ever get tired of staying with me at night?" She asked as I helped her to the bed.

As she got in and began positioning herself, I replied, "No, I'll never get tired of being next to you asleep or awake. Of course," I could not help adding, "You're more open with your feelings at night."

"What do you mean?" She snuggled down under the covers as best as she could.

"I mean, my precious fiancée," I helped place the blankets around her, "that when you sleep, you say exactly what you feel." I kissed her nose after helping with the blankets. "I have learned some very interesting personal tidbits," I added, "from you while asleep." After getting her settled, I sat down on the bed next to her.

Bella was lying on her back and seemed comfortable when she asked, "Like what, for instance?"

I laid down beside her. "If I remember correctly, you don't like getting wet; although, I have to admit, I'm not sure how you meant that because you were not specific, and I know that you think my skin feels smooth as silk."

"I never said that," she protested.

"Oh, but I beg to differ. You ran your hand over my face one night and said just that."

"Well," she huffed, "It doesn't seem fair that you can listen to me talk in my sleep, but I can't hear what you're not saying to me."

I rolled on my side to face her as I confessed, "There is very little that I don't tell you, especially when it comes to my feelings. I'm afraid if I left anything unsaid, you would leave me, or think I was not sincere about my feelings toward you." I reached out and began to caress her cheek, "You mean more to me than anything or anyone else. It would hurt deeply if I lost a family member, but if I lost you, the hurt would be so great that nothing would relieve it except an end to my existence." I was surprised to see a lone tear roll down her cheek. "Please don't cry, Bella; I didn't mean to upset you."

"That is so sweet, Edward. I'm not upset, just deeply touched, but you should know that I feel the same way about you. I sometimes feel, though, that you don't believe my emotions go as deeply as yours do, but I assure you that I do feel the same way you do. You are my only reason for exiting, and without you, life would be meaningless. I need you more than I can put into words, and you will have to take me on my word about that." She rolled slightly toward me on her side, holding her left arm tight to her body as she moved. "Please believe me, Edward."

I laughed softly, "I do Bella, for no other reason than I take you at your word, and that is how I want you to feel about me – beside," I decided to add, "Alice assures me it is true also, and I would never doubt Alice."

Bella laughed at that, and sobered as she asked, "Edward, would you do me a favor?"

I had a feeling she was beginning to learn that I could deny her nothing. "What would you like?"

"First, a pain pill," she smiled as she spoke.

It took me no time at all the retrieve a fresh glass of water and one of her pills. Then I helped her sit up while I gave her the pill and water. Afterwards, I helped her settle in again before I laid down beside her. "If that was first," I asked, "what is second?"

"Second," she wriggled up against my side, "is my kiss."

"And just what kiss might that be?" I teased.

Before she answered, I heard bells ringing, and then she said, "The one that will take us both into the New Year. So, will you?"

"Gladly," I replied as I rolled over on my side, and captured her lips with mine. I allowed myself to kiss her long and deep, and toward the end, she gripped my lower lip between her teeth and gently bit it. There was no way she could bite me to hurt me, but the sensation of her warm lips wrapped around mine, and the gentle graze of her teeth sent electrical, but enjoyable jolts shooting through my entire body.

"Mmmm, you taste good," she said as she let go.

I realized instantly she had tasted my venom. "Bella, you don't have any open sores in your mouth, do you?" I knew what it would mean if she did.

"No, Edward, I knew I could not do that if I did, but I wouldn't mind being changed now. In fact, now would really be a good time to change me," she declared with some enthusiasm.

"Just why would now be such a good time for you to die to your human life?" I asked.

She chuckled as she replied, "Because, if I were changed, my arm would no longer be broken, and I wouldn't have to face my dad and explain why I have a broken arm."

"Do you fear him that much?" How could any father be mad at his own daughter for being injured? He should be concerned, in my opinion, more about how she was doing and if she had any pain.

"I don't fear him; I just don't want to listen to his irrational blaming of someone else for what I did. He never allows me to take responsibility for what happens even when it is a complete accident. This will be the same way; I'm afraid he will blame you for this." I could hear the regret in her voice as she spoke.

"But it is my fault; I should never have left you alone."

"And just what would you have done, come into the bathroom with me so you could catch me if I fell."

"Carlisle asked the same thing, and if that is an open offer, I might just take you up on it," I replied honestly.

"Next time, I just might ask you to see if you are really serious," she teased, but then she looked into my eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"If it would keep you safe, then yes, I really mean it." I put as much conviction behind my words as possible.

"If it is the only way to stay safe, then that is what I would want Edward." Her words were sincere, but then she surprised by beginning to chuckle.

"Just what is so funny, Miss Swan?" I asked in my most serious tone.

"The thought of you standing in the bathroom while I'm standing naked and wet behind a flimsy curtain – hmmm, I wonder how long it would take you to move to my side of the curtain." After a momentary pause, she added, "The idea rather excites me."

"Don't tempt me Bella, I'm not sure I could stand the temptation; besides, you're father would kill me if he ever found out I was seeing you so openly exposed," I growled softly. At least, I thought, he would try to kill me, and I would definitely be persona non-grata not only at their house but also anywhere near Bella herself. Her father I might be able to get around; my desire for her, however, might become my undoing, and there was no telling where that might lead. To help take my mind off the tantalizing picture of a nude Bella with shower water running down her perfect body, I began kissing her again. Kissing her, however, did not drive away those desires. Instead, it had the opposite effect on me, and her soft moans as the kiss progressed only intensified them. Had Alice not walked by the door just then and non-verbally warned, 'Careful Edward, this could lead somewhere you might regret at this time,' I might have been careless enough to risk breaking my promise to wait for Bella to get a little older.

I slowly pulled away from Bella's lips, and whispered, "I think you should sleep now."

"Must I?" She whispered softly in response.

"Sleep for both of us, and dream of our future together," I whispered back.

"Okay," she replied through a muffled yawn, and moments later she was asleep.

I spent the rest of the night contemplating how I was going to survive the next two years before I could safely move Bella away from her family and change her.

Near five in the morning, I woke Bella up with soft feathery kisses. Alice was already waiting outside the door to help Bella clean up and dress so we could head home. It was something I knew Bella was not looking forward to because of her father. I had a feeling her mother would understand, but her father was another matter all together.

"Mmmm, Edward, if you don't stop, I'm going to expect this kind of awakening every morning," Bella murmured softly as I kissed each of her eyelids before working down to the corner of her lips.

"You have but to ask," I replied between sweet kisses that tasted like her skin.

"Enough already," Alice declared as she walked in. "We need to leave in an hour, and Bella must be ready in time."

"Nice timing Alice," I retorted as I pulled myself away from Bella.

"Make yourself useful," Alice walked over and helped Bella from the bed, "Pack Bella's belongings and take them down to the car. Carlisle wants the two of you to ride with him. Come on sleepy, time to clean up. I have your clothes all laid out in my room."

"I'm not going through the hall looking like this," Bella moaned.

"I can carry you, if you insist."

Bella looked at me with a silent plea in her eyes, but Alice must have known what she was planning because she warned, "Edward is of no help, Jasper is only a call away."

"Fine, let's make this quick," Bella pouted, and all I could do against Alice was give Bella a quick kiss before she was whisked away.

Alice had Bella ready in less than half an hour, all the bags were stowed in the cars, and Carlisle declared it was time to return home. We timed the trip so that we would arrive at Bella's house around midnight; Carlisle had hoped that Bella's father would be less likely to give her a hard time if he saw how tired she was.

I hadn't been dating Bella for long, but there was hardly a time that didn't bring Bella home unmarked in some manner. Most of the time it was a bruise, bump, scrap, or small cut that was hardly noticeable, but this time I was returning her home with a broken arm. Carlisle had already decided that I would remain in the car while he and Esme escorted Bella to the door. I had tried to argue with him, but he felt, as the parent, he was responsible for explaining to Bella's parents what had happened. In addition, Bella ordered me to remain in the car. Bella's biggest concern was that her father would decide we could no longer see each other. Before leaving Colorado, we had already removed Bella's engagement ring from her finger, and placed it back on her chain around her neck. It would not help matters for her father to see the ring.

Carlisle pulled up in front of Bella's house promptly at midnight. The porch lights were on and so were the living room lights; her parents had stayed up to welcome her home.

Bella frowned as Carlisle stopped in front of her house. "I wish I could send you home right now," she told me. "I don't want you to hear what my dad is going to say. Unfortunately I know you would disagree with me, so just let me assure you that no matter what happens, I still love you, I will still see you, and I want you to come over tomorrow afternoon." Then she kissed me before allowing Carlisle to help her out of the car.

I watched as Esme took Bella's uninjured arm and Carlisle carried her luggage. Even before they reached the door, someone opened it for them to enter, and once they were in, the door was securely closed. Of course, that didn't stop me from hearing the yelling that occurred when she walked in the house. Even a human waiting in the car outside would have heard some of it; her father had a sonorous voice that carried well, especially when he yelled.

"What happened to your arm? I told you this was going to happen." It was easy enough to discern that he directed the comment to his wife. "I knew it was wrong to allow you . . ."

"Dad, it was an accident, and I was lucky Dr. Carlisle was close at hand." Bella had boldly cut into his tirade, but her voiced sounded tired.

"I assure you, Mr. Swan, that Bella is fine . . .," Carlisle began.

"Fine? You call having a broken arm fine? I knew skiing was dangerous . . ."

Once again, Bella cut him off, "Dad, I fell in the shower, something that could just as easily have happened at home."

"Dear, I think we should thank Dr. and Mrs. Cullen for taking care of Bella and allow them to go home. It is late and they have had a long drive." Mrs. Swan's tone was calm and slightly soothing.

"Hmph," his voice altered in volume suggesting he might have turned away or walked away.

"I'm sorry about Richard, he gets upset easily, but I do want to thank you for allowing Bella to go along on your family trip, and thank you for taking care of her," Mrs. Swan's voice conveyed her sincerity, and from her thoughts, I knew she was dreading what would happen once they left. Her greatest concern seemed focused on Bella.

"Some care." I knew Carlisle and Esme could hear him even though his voice was low and muffled. "She has a broken arm." His thoughts bordered on anger, frustration, and guilt, although guilt seemed out of place since he didn't seem to have anything to be guilty about unless it pertained to the fact that he had allowed Bella to come on the trip.

"I assure you Mrs. Swan, that we never meant to bring Bella home injured, but there was no way we could have foreseen her falling in the shower," Esme explained. She left unsaid that even Alice with her ability had failed to foresee the accident. "We all love Bella and would never do anything that might harm her."

"I know, and Richard will see that after he calms down." I could almost envision her trying to apologize for her husband's outburst. "But I do think it best if you left now," she added softly.

"Good night Bella, we'll see you soon," Esme said as the door was opening.

Carlisle and Esme made a swift retreat, and as they reached the car, I was preparing to get out.

"No, Edward," Esme stood in front of me, "I think it would be best for you to return home with us. Allow Bella's parents time with her and allow them the privacy to work this out on their own."

"But I promised Bella I would stay with her," I reminded Esme.

"We don't want you to break your promise," Carlisle said, "but we do want you to allow them an hour of privacy."

Arguing with your parents is hard, especially when you must concede that they are correct; however, that did not stop me from listening to the conversation ensuing in Bella's house as we drove away.

"I told you she would get hurt, but no, you had to let her go. Of all the stupid . . ."

"Richard, Bella has the right to live her life, and this was a good idea. We can't shield her from everything."

"Yes we can . . ."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here. Dad, this is not anyone's fault but mine. It was a dumb accident. While taking a shower, I dropped the soap, and when I went to pick it up, I accidently stepped on it and slipped. I was lucky Alice was in the room waiting to do my hair because she heard me fall and was quick to get Dr. Cullen down to my room to tend to my broken arm."

"He saw you naked?"

"Dad, Alice would never have allowed that. She covered me with my robe, but couldn't move me because even she could see my arm was broken."

"My poor baby." Even though Mrs. Swan had said it softly, I was still able to hear it.

"While Dr. Cullen set my arm and placed a makeshift splint on it, Alice called the ambulance. Then Alice helped me dress while Dr. Cullen waited in the hall for the ambulance drivers to arrive on my floor."

"You would have been safer at home."

"Dad, I could have broken my arm as easily at home as anywhere else." Even though their voices were beginning to fade, I could hear the anger and hurt in Bella's tone, and just before I couldn't hear them anymore, Bella added, "Mom, Uncle Peter told me to tell you hi."

"Where did you . . ." was the last thing I heard Bella's father yelling before the voices became inaudible even for me.

"Edward, don't you think that would be for the best?"

I had focused all my concentration on the conversation occurring at Bella's house that I had completely tuned my own family out. "I'm sorry mom, what did you say?"

She chuckled softly at my response. "I said, you would be safe to go back in an hour because that should give them time to talk this through, and time for Bella to be alone after her mom helps her prepare for bed."

"I hadn't thought of that, and you're right, that would be for the best," I confirmed, however, I spent the rest of the drive worrying about Bella. Her father's anger bothered me; it wasn't like Bella intentionally decided to injure herself, and he had no right to blame my parents. Carlisle and Esme were every bit as protective of her welfare as Bella's parents were, but they were not over protective like her father. A fact I would always remember because I didn't want to be like her father either; I could sense he was pushing her further and further away from him every time he yelled at her about some injury she had. I knew Bella really loved her father, but his actions did not reflect that love, and I had a feeling that it hurt her to know that.

It took no time at all to unload the car once we reached the house, so I had to find a way to fill almost fifty minutes before I could return to Bella's house. I tried to find way to keep myself occupied, but everything I did reminded me of Bella. Reading brought images to mind of her sitting curled up on my bed telling me what she liked or disliked about what she was reading. Music reminded me of her desire to try to learn to play the piano, and just sitting in my bedroom caused me to miss her because her scent permeated my room.

I finally wondered downstairs to see what the rest of the family was doing, but that did not help because they were talking about the scene at Bella's house.

"Does he realize he is pushing them both away from him?" Rose addressed the entire family.

"How could any parent yell at their child because of an accident?" Emmett grumbled. "Bella would never do anything to hurt anyone, and he shouts at her causing her more pain on top of the pain from her arm."

"Yes, dears, you are both right, but he is still her father and it is not really our place to judge him. Instead, we need to be understanding and extremely kind to Bella to try and make up for what she isn't receiving at home," Esme said.

"Well, that's not entirely true, my dear. Her mother does love her, and from what I heard, she attempts to stand up for Bella whenever possible. Remember, it was only because of her mother that Bella was allowed along on this trip in the first place," Carlisle added.

"Things will work out one way or another," Alice added.

"What have you seen Alice?" I asked as I walked into the living room and sat down in the only vacant chair.

"First, I have seen Bella and you married, and Bella changed. With her parents, I have seen a couple of options, but in them all, Bella still loves her parents."

"What type of options?" When it came to Bella, I wanted nothing hidden from me.

"I prefer not to say, Edward, just so you cannot sway events that will happen. The outcome must be of her parents choosing and not because of some outside influence or interference. Even Bella could influence them after you shared my visions with her, and that also would not be right."

"Alice is right, Edward," Jasper affirmed, "it is better to allow things to run their course; they are adults and need to make their own choices."

"But what if . . ."

Alice cut me off, "No one is going to be harmed physically. Emotionally is another matter, but that would be where you could provide solace for Bella. I won't allow any physical harm to come to anyone, Edward, and if I see something like that happening, then I will tell you about it."

"I still say the man is cruel to yell at Bella for something that wasn't anyone's fault. An accident is an accident and no one is to blame. Of course, he also had no right to yell at either of you," Rose added looking directly at Carlisle and Esme.

"She was under our protection, Rose, but you are right that it was an accident, and one that not even Alice could have foreseen coming. Still, I feel responsible for her well-being when she is in our care."

"You did everything you could, Carlisle, to take care of her after the fact, and even Bella wouldn't have you blaming yourself for lack of foresight where she is concerned," Esme said.

"Well, one day the man will have to face Bella when she calls him to task about his treatment of her, and I hope she tells him honestly how she felt about his treatment of her." Emmett had a scowl on his face, and internally he was thinking how it would be nice to go over to Bella's house and stand up for his little sister in front of her father. "Come on, Rose, I think I'd like to go up to our room." Emmett felt the need to take his mind off the yelling he had heard, and he knew Rose could help him redirect his thoughts.

"Alice and I will retire to our room also," Jasper added as he reached out a hand to Alice, which she took smilingly, and then he led her out of the room.

"I guess you two would like to be alone also," I said as I rose from the chair.

"No," Carlisle abrupt reply stopped me from moving, "I think the three of us should go hunting. I want you well fed before you go back to Bella's house."

Instead of arguing, I just nodded in agreement. We left the house by the back door and swiftly ran into the woods.

Afterwards, I had to admit Carlisle was correct. With my thirst satiated, I was able to return to Bella's house in a more docile mood. As I approached her house, I noticed all the lights were out, but I heard murmurs coming from her parent's room. I stealthily climbed up to her window and opened it. I found Bella sitting up in her bed.

"Shhh," she held her finger to her lips.

I walked quickly over to her and sat down on her right side so I could wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close to me. Then I whispered, "What's going on?"

"Dad is upset about Uncle Peter."

"Why did you tell him about seeing him?" That question had plagued me after I heard her comment as we drove home.

"It was the only way I could redirect his anger from Carlisle and Esme and take his mind off my arm." She leaned her head against my chest and the heat from her cheeks filled me with a delicious warmth, but it also indicated that she was still running a slight fever.

"Have you taken both your pills?"

"Yes, just before you came through the window; see, the glass is still on the bedside table."

"Is your dad really that upset about you seeing your 'Uncle Peter'?"

"No, he is upset that Uncle Peter would send a message to mom. Dad never liked Uncle Peter, you see. I didn't understand it as a child, but now I think he was afraid that he was losing his family to man who was kinder than he was. Uncle Peter always knew the right thing to say, and the right time to say it. He never became angry when I hurt myself, and he would play games with me; something my father never had the time or inclination to do. He would also help mom with the dishes or other little tasks that she had to do when he was visiting, and then, I think it was not too long before dad announced we were moving, Uncle Peter used to visit mom and I when dad was not at home." Bella paused a moment, and I felt her head tilt up toward me. Her words came out extremely soft, "I think he was jealous of Uncle Peter." She uttered the words as if they were a new revelation to her.

"You think?" I asked with a slight chuckle.

"You knew that all along, didn't you?" She scolded.

"I suspected it when I heard your dad yelling."

"How much did you hear?"

"Just up to the part where you told your mom that 'Uncle Peter' said hi."

"Oh, well I guess that was enough to hear. Anyway, he is mad at mom now and is demanding to know why Uncle Peter would send her any kind of message. He also ordered me to tell him where and when I met Uncle Peter while I was away. I didn't tell him that Peter was not his real name, but I'm wondering if mom knows his real name."

"Did she say something?"

"No, it's just a feeling I have, but I wasn't about to say anything else in front of dad. At least he dropped the subject of my arm, and for that I was thankful."

"You do realize that you should go to sleep, don't you?" I told her.

"Well, as to that, I wondered if we could just cuddle and maybe kiss a little before I go to sleep. I think I need something to keep my mind off the yelling so I have nice dreams instead of nightmares." She moved herself in my arms in such a way that she was able to use her finger to draw slow, deliberate circles on my chest as she spoke.

I had a feeling she was learning that Aleksey's comment about doing whatever was asked of you by the one you loved had more than a grain of truth in it when it applied to her and I.

**AN: Please leave a review if you like this chapter, or leave a review if you find any errors so I can go back and correct them. Also, a big thank you to Hyvanna for her wonderful comments and frequent reviews on both sites were I post this story.**

20


	45. Chapter 45 Even Bears Have Their Use

**Special Note: This chapter is dedicated to LuvSam who offered a suggestion around which this chapter revolves - thanks.**

**AN: Okay, so I've been told I have to mention that I do not own the Cullen family or Bella, which sounds funny saying I don't own myself, but I have to say it any way.  
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**Next, Esme sent Bella and Edward off on a special belated anniversary/second honeymoon trip, so I have decided that now is a good time to add this flashback into the developing relationship between Bella and I.**

**I also want to add that I hope our authoress gets better soon.**

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**Addition to Journal Entries - Even Bears Have Their Usefulness: by Emmett Cullen [1958]**

Bella had been part of our family for about four months, and still Edward had refused to talk to her or even be in the room when she was visiting. I liked having her around, though. Bella, for some reason I didn't understand, helped me to reconnect with my humanity, so I took Alice's suggestion and started to look at her like a sister. The connection was there but not strongly.

I found Bella was easy to talk to, and I enjoyed teasing her and making her blush. It was a friendly relationship, and I could not understand why Edward would not even try to befriend her, but then who ever really understands why Edward does anything? Anyway, like I said, it was an easy friendship, but then something occurred one day that changed the way I felt about her.

It happened in early February when Bella had come over to the house for help. Generally, she asked Alice for help.

I had not expected Bella to turn up that Saturday morning because the rest of the family had gone off hunting and since I had hunted two days before, I stayed home.

When Bella showed up at the front door, I was slightly shocked but still pleased to see her, and I was happy to tell her so. "To what do I owe this pleasure Bella?" I greeted her after she had knocked on the door.

"Emmett, I need help. Please tell me you can help." I could tell she was serious.

"Sure, anything I can do. Come on in Bella; you must be freezing." Even though I couldn't feel the cold, I could see her breath as she exhaled into the air indicating how frigid it was.

Bella chuckled hoarsely as she walked through the door. "It's this math. I just can't seem to understand how to do it." I took her coat, and then I walked slowly, well slowly for me, with her to the dining room noticing she seemed paler than usual and her voice was rather raspy. It wasn't a normal sound for her.

"Have a seat Bella and show me what problems you are having."

She smiled as she sat down and opened her book, but then she began coughing. I could hear a deep rattle in her chest as she coughed and wished Carlisle was home to check on her. I knew it didn't sound healthy.

"Bella, have you seen Carlisle about that cough?"

"It's nothing Emmett, just a simple cold." She was rather flippant with her answer, and opened her book to the chapter on synthetic division.

I chuckled softly remembering that it took me a bit of time to understand what the instructor meant when he said that if _x_ – _n_ is a factor, then _x_ = _n _is a zero, and if_ x_ = _n_ is a zero, then _x_ – _n_ is a factor. As a human, math had not been my strongest subject, but as a vampire, once I learned something, I never forgot it.

"Explain to me what you don't understand." I was guessing it would be simple if I knew what confused her about synthetic division.

"I don't understand any of it. All this about if x – 1 is a factor then x + 1 is a zero, and if that doesn't work, then x +3 might be the factor thereby making x – 3 the zero. Where are they getting these numbers? Did someone just make this all up? I don't understand any of this."

All I could do was chuckle because I had the same problem with it the first time I waded through this subject. I also sympathized with her, completely understanding the frustration she felt. Very slowly, I began to walk through what I had learned and after a while, she began to understand some of what was happening, but as the morning wore on, she began coughing more and the rattle in her chest became more noticeable.

Around noon, I called a stop to our lesson. "Bella, you need a break. Would you like some lunch?"

"I don't like grizzly bear, Emmett." She chuckled as she spoke, but the chuckle turned into a coughing spell. I noticed as she coughed, she held a Kleenex to her mouth and I suspected she was coughing up phlegm from her lungs.

"Seriously Bella, you don't look well." Her face looked flushed, her cough slightly scared me, and she hadn't eaten or drank anything since she had arrived. I took it on myself to force her to drink at least a glass of juice.

Since Bella had begun visiting us on a regular basis, Esme kept the refrigerator stocked with food and drinks for Bella. I found orange juice in the refrigerator and poured Bella a large glass. Walking back into the dining room, I handed the glass to her saying, "I want you to drink all of this, and no arguments, young lady." I tried to sound as authoritative as possible.

"Yes, sir," she retorted with a frown, but she did begin to sip from the glass. I watched until she had finished the entire glass. "Okay, I admit that that did taste good," she told me with a smile crossing her lips, but her face was still flushed.

"Are you sure you're okay Bella? You look like you might be running a bit of a fever."

"I'm okay Emmett, just a little tired, but otherwise I'm fine." She might claim that, but her body gave her away by shaking slightly as a shiver ran through her small frame.

Seeing her like that reminded me how small and delicate she was, not as small as Alice but definitely more fragile. I reached out and put my hand on her forehead. Now, I had hugged Bella before and had noticed her human warmth, but what I felt radiating from her face was more than her normal warmth, and it didn't take a medical degree to know she was running a fever, I just wasn't aware of how high it actually was.

"Bella, I think you should lie down and wait for Carlisle to return home. I don't think you're doing as well as you claim." I was becoming more than slightly worried about her.

"Really, Emmett, it is just a simple cold." But again her body said otherwise as her body shook with another coughing fit, and this one worse than the last.

Not allowing her to say otherwise, I picked her up and carried her to the sofa. After setting her down, I held up my finger and ordered, "You stay there. Don't you dare move; I'm going to get you a warm blanket."

I rushed upstairs and rummaged through the closet where Esme had stockpiled a number of wool quilts, and I grabbed the thickest one that I could find. I rushed it downstairs and smiled when I noticed Bella hadn't moved. "Good girl," I commented as I sat down beside her, and wrapped the quilt gently around her.

"Thank you Emmett," she said as she snuggled under the quilt.

"I'm calling your mother to let her know you are still here. I'll only be a moment and then I'm coming back. You better be right there when I return," I tried to sound commanding as I pointed my finger at her, but she had this slight little smile curling her lips, and I just could not put the authority behind my words as I wanted.

"Yes sir," she replied, but I could hear the laughter behind the words.

I quickly moved into the kitchen, dialed Bella's home number and waited for someone to pick up the phone on the other end.

"Swan residence." Since it was a female voice, I presumed it was Bella's mother.

"Mrs. Swan, this is Emmett Cullen."

"Alice's brother, right? Bella's told me all about you." She asked, but it sounded as if she knew who she was talking to.

"I hope it was good," I replied while I also hope it was about what we were.

"Bella never says anything bad about anyone," she replied. I liked her voice, there was a pleasing lilt to her voice that suggested she was a nice, happy person.

"You're right, ma'am. Bella is generous to the extreme."

"Are you suggesting that what she said about you isn't true?"

From her tone, I was guessing that she was joking, but I replied, "Well, maybe just a little. I can imagine she painted me as an fine example of a gentleman, but I do have my rough edges that she would over look out of kindness and friendship."

"I like you even though I haven't met you officially. Bella says you're the big brother she never had, and I'm hoping that means you're also looking out for my little girl."

This time her tone carried a touch of seriousness along with the lightness of friendly banter.

"That's partly why I called ma'am. Bella came over this morning to get some help with her math, and I would like to keep her here until my dad can see her, if that is okay with you. She's running a fever, and her cough has me worried." I didn't want to scare her, but I did want her to know I was concerned.

"Are you sure it is serious enough to bother Dr. Cullen with?" She asked in that motherly concerned tone.

"I'm not a doctor, but I am concerned for her, and I would really feel better if my dad took a look, just to be on the safe side. I don't think it helped that she walked to our house from the bus stop in this cold weather."

"I think that would be a good idea. Please have him call me afterward, and I'll arrange to have Bella picked up."

"That won't be necessary, ma'am. Alice and I can drive Bella home, and I'll make sure she bundles up. I don't want her getting a chill," I almost laughed at myself when I realized I sounded like Esme.

"That is very kind, Emmett. I'm beginning to understand why Bella speaks so highly of you and your family."

"I can assure you that we all think very highly of her as well," I replied with a huge smile.

"Thank you for calling, and I will wait for your father's call."

"Yes, ma'am, and goodbye."

"Goodbye Emmett."

I instantly liked Bella's mother; her voice told me that she really cared about Bella, and that, if she ever met us, she would approve of us. It was actually an odd feeling because I had never talked to any human before that I felt I liked without ever really meeting them. I could not help but wonder, at the time, if Bella's mother wasn't, in some way, just as unique as her daughter.

"Your mom agrees that Carlisle should take a look at you," I informed Bella as I walked back into the living room.

"So, what are you going to do while I sit around on the sofa?" Bella asked

"I'll tell you what, I'll sit here with you, and we can watch something on the television," I offered. I didn't feel right about leaving her alone.

"Okay," she said before she began coughing again.

I turned on the television before saying, "I'll be right back." I went back to the kitchen to pour Bella another glass of juice, and then I rummaged through the pantry until I found a box of Kleenex, which I knew would be useful to Bella. Once I obtained the sought after items, I returned to the living room, placed the glass and Kleenex box on the coffee table, and switched channels on the television. On one channel was a western.

"Will this do?" I asked Bella.

"Sure," she replied through another coughing fit.

After adjusting the volume, I sat down beside her.

"Do you mind if I lean against you?" She asked shyly.

I chuckled as I replied, "Sure Bella, I don't have a problem with that."

She moved closer to me and then laid her head against my chest as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and so we sat. The movie was half over before I realized Bella had fallen asleep, which made me chuckle softly. I wasn't the softest thing to lie against, but Bella seemed content to remain where she was. I then noticed her flushed face and a few beads of sweat that rolled down her face. Her skin felt hotter against my chest than normal, but under the quilt I could see she was shivering somewhat.

I thought about getting her another blanket but hated to disturb her sleep, and then, as I was trying to figure out a way to lay her gently down on the couch, another coughing racked her slender body.

When the coughing finally subsided, Bella moaned, "Emmett, I'm freezing."

Very carefully, I helped her to sit up before I said, "I'll get you another blanket. You sit here and drink some of this juice." I hoped getting some fluid in her might help, even if only a bit.

It took me only seconds to run up the stairs, grab another quilt, and promptly return to Bella's side. "Here, let's wrap this around you and see if it helps." I noticed she had drank most of the juice in the glass, so I promptly went back to the kitchen and refilled the glass. As I returned, I noticed Bella's slight smile.

I handed her the glass while asking, "Have I done something funny?"

"No, but I was wondering if you could read my mind," she replied as the accepted the glass, and then took a few small sips from it.

"That's Edward's skill, not mine," I reminded her.

She handed me the glass, and I placed it on the table. "Well, you were the one who brought me more juice as I was thinking about asking for more."

"Maybe I did it because I didn't want you getting dehydrated," I chuckled softly as I replied.

"I'm lucky to have a brother like you; I just wish it were permanent." There was an undertone of regret in her voice as she spoke.

"Bella, it is permanent; you will always be my little sis no matter what happens. I'm not that easy to get rid of, you know." Despite what Edward might do, I had no intention of losing Bella as a sister.

"Things do change Emmett. Edward might decide your family needs to move so he can be free of my blood's temptation, or my dad might get transferred – it wouldn't be the first time."

I chuckled as I replied, "You won't get rid of me that easily. Even if Edward wants to move away from you, I can decide to stay right here, and if your dad gets transferred, I might decide to follow you where ever you go, or I might decide to kidnap you so we can keep you with us, and I won't care what Edward thinks about it."

"And how will Rose feel about your decision?"

I knew Rose did not like Bella, and I figured it was because of her danger to us should others of our kind find out. It wasn't like we were keeping her as a blood source, and no one had mentioned changing her partly because she was still too young, but I knew I didn't want to lose her as a sister. That was something Rose and I still needed to talk about, but maybe I could persuade Rose to see my side of this relationship. It wasn't as if I wanted Bella to replace Rose; that, I knew would never be acceptable to Bella, Rose, or I. I didn't feel that way about Bella, instead, I felt a brother's protectiveness for her. Rose would just have to learn to accept that.

I smiled as I finally said, "You leave Rose to me. Sometimes I can wrap her around my finger, but I'll deny that I ever said that if you should mention it to her."

Bella chuckled in response, but it was a throaty harsh kind of laugh, which I knew was caused by her coughing. "I would be afraid to tell Rose any such thing. She is the only one in your family who actually scares me."

"And I thought I was the scary one," I laughed in response.

"Oh, to others you might resemble a dangerous grizzly bear, but I know that deep down you are a soft lovable teddy bear."

I pulled a face to show her how hurt I felt about being compared to a teddy bear.

She laughed in response, "You don't fool me, Emmett Cullen. I know you enjoy maintaining that outward fierceness, and I know it comes in handy when protecting or standing up for your family, but to me, you'll always be a teddy bear covered by a grizzly bear exterior."

"Maybe your right," I finally agreed, "I don't think I could ever be mean or fierce toward you." I touched her nose in a friendly way, and then added, "I think you should lie down and rest."

"Can I ask you something first?" She was looking up at me with those amazingly unfathomable eyes that cause one to say yes before realizing what she had said.

"Anything," the word was out of my mouth before I could register its exit.

"Can I lie on your lap?" It was not what I had expected but I felt touched by the request.

"Only if you use a pillow, I won't have you getting any colder, and besides, without the pillow, you would find my lap as comfortable as a rock." I pulled a throw pillow over from the corner of the couch.

"That works for me," her infectious smile caused my lips to turn up in response.

As I helped her settle into a comfortable position, I made sure she stayed well covered. She hadn't coughed while we were talking, but I still saw slight shivers shake her delicate frame. After she laid the pillow and then her head on my leg, I began to gently stroke her hair and I felt her breathing slow down as she began to drift off. Before she fell asleep, she murmured, "My bear . . . my cuddly grizzly bear . . ." and then she was asleep. At some point, she moved and draped her arm over my knee, and I chuckled softly as I thought about how Rose would feel if she saw this little scene.

I'm not sure how it happened, but as Bella slept, and I continued to stroke her hair and occasionally wipe the sweat from her forehead with a corner of the top blanket, I found myself shutting out the world around me and remembering a human moment in my previous life.

This was a time when the doctor lived and worked from home, and it was the weekend of the local fair. Everyone in the county was there on opening day. I had only agreed to stay home with my sister because she had not been feeling well for a few days, but mother hadn't been worried because it seemed like a minor illness. My sister was a few years younger than me, and that afternoon she had gotten even sicker. At first, I thought it was something she had eaten, but then she began to run a fever. Even after emptying the contents of her stomach numerous times, she continued to throw-up and complained of stomach pains as well. I felt extremely helpless because I could do nothing to ease her pain and suffering. I remember feeling like a failure as a brother because I could not offer her any real help, just soothing words of comfort, but after an hour of her continual pain and vomiting, I finally decided the doctor had to see her.

We had no telephone, so I could not call for help, and the only two vehicles my family owned were in use. The local doctor was twenty miles away and I didn't know how to transport her to him unless I carried her. Both of our two neighbors had no telephone so I could not walked to their houses to use one. Since walking was my only option, I pulled a long forgotten wagon out of the shed, laid pillows in it, wrapped my sister in a blanket, and began the long journey to the doctor's house.

One thing I had in my favor was my long legs, so I could cover more ground in a shorter time, but twenty miles was still a considerable distance. I did get lucky that day because an old man drove by and offered us a ride. We put the wagon in the back seat, and then I sat in the front with my sister on my lap. I was also in luck when we reached the doctor's house because he was at home. I knew there had been a chance that he would be out on a call, but with most of the vicinity at the fair, he had no callers in need of his assistance.

It took him little time to discover the cause of my sister pains, and he informed me that her appendix needed to be removed. It wasn't until after he performed the surgery there in his home office that I found out how close I had been to losing my sister. It seems when an appendix bursts, as hers did, the person could die before receiving medical help. The doctor figured the appendix had not burst before we reached his office, and the pain had been the body's way of warning us that my sister was in need of help. My sister had to remain at the doctor's house for two days before she was allowed to come home, but my mother prepared a special welcome home party for her. She spent the next week lying on the couch, and I volunteered to wait on all of her needs.

That memory reminded me that I had only cried twice in my human life that I could remember. The first time was after I returned home from taking my sister to the doctor. I had finally allowed myself to realize how close I had come to losing her, and I broke down in tears. The second time I cried was when my sister took my hand while I was sitting next to her in our living room and kissed it saying, "You are the best brother in the world. You saved my life." Between her words, the kiss, and the look of admiration and love in her eyes, I just broke down and cried. Her response was to pull my head to her until it was resting against her chest, patting my back, and saying, "Everything is alright." When I looked back on it later, I remembered laughing about it because she was the one who comforted me, and I cherished her all the more for that.

The hardest part about being changed and becoming a Cullen was leaving behind my sister. Of my entire family, she was the one I loved the most, and for years afterwards, I would tell Rose how much I missed her. I even planned on visiting the area where I grew up to discover if I could find out where she was. I wanted to know if she was happy; I was even tempted to ask her if she would like to become a vampire like me, but Rose offered some very convincing reasons for why I should allow my sister to live without knowing I was still around.

I never really talked about my sister to anyone but Rose, although it is possible that Edward caught some of my thoughts about her, but it was only Rose who knew how much I truly missed my little sister. As I sat with Bella, I began to realize that she offered me the opportunity I thought I would never have. I had already told her I looked upon her as my sister, but I realized at that moment as I gazed down upon her sleeping form that I could allow her to be the sister I lost.

In temperament, Bella and my sister were very much alike. I would not have admitted that when I first met Bella, but that was when she seemed standoffish, which I later discovered was a result of her shyness. When I became better acquainted with her, I discovered she could be cunning – the way she cheated during the poker game – and mischievous. It took a little while to discover the playful side of Bella, but as she became more familiar with the family, she felt more comfortable taking part in our less dangerous games. She even partook of our betting competitions, and as a result had won her skiing trip – of course, I still say she cheated on that last bet because she didn't inform us that she had a natural hole under her arm. Still, Bella was a good sport about all my teasing, and when pushed, she could tease back.

All in all, she was very like my natural sister in temperament and somewhat in personality. My little sister had not been old enough to display the kindheartedness I had seen in Bella. Of course, my little sister also had not met and befriended a family of vampires as Bella had, but still, they both were forgiving to the extreme and able to take a joke without being offended.

As all these thoughts and memories flooded my mind, I looked down at Bella and realized just how much I wanted her as my little sister. Before they had been words that only labeled her, but at that moment they became a relationship that tied her to me forever. I would never be able to look at her in the same way again. She was no longer Alice's friend or Edward's potential girlfriend, she was 'my little sister,' and God protect the fool who might come along and try to hurt her in any way.

It was my moment of epiphany – a word I had heard a million times in literature class but had never fully comprehended until that moment – when Edward walked into the living room proclaiming, "What the hell is this?"

Bella moved slightly at the sound of his voice and hugged my knee with her arm that had been draped over it, but I just continued to stroke her hair soothingly as I softly growled, "Don't you dare wake her up. She is sick, and I'm waiting for Carlisle to return home and look at her."

Edward only glared at me, and then he must have heard my thoughts about what would happen if he disturbed my sister because his glare turned to astonishment, and he quickly retreated from the room.

As Edward left the room, my hand moved to Bella's forehead and I realized she didn't feel as hot as before. It surprised me that Edward had cussed – he did that when he walked in on us playing strip poker with Bella also. Normally, Edward never said a foul word no matter what the circumstance but twice because of Bella. I sat pondering that for only a moment before hearing Carlisle walk into the room.

"Edward just informed me that Bella is sick. Tell me what you know." He rushed over with his black bag in his hand and knelt down beside Bella.

I realized he must have gone up to his office before coming into the living room, or he wouldn't have had the bag with him.

"She was coughing a lot earlier in the day, and then she complained of being cold, but she has been sweating most of the afternoon. It took two blankets before she felt warmer. She was able to drink two glasses of orange juice before she fell asleep."

He had taken her pulse while I talked, and then went through his bag to find a thermometer and his stethoscope. "I'm going to need to wake her up so I can get her temperature and listen to her lungs, but from the feel of her skin, I would say the fever has broken, which is a good thing." He then shook Bella's shoulder as she said, "Bella honey, I need you to wake up."

"My teddy," she mumbled softly causing me to chuckle and Carlisle to look up at me.

"I suppose that means something," he stated rather than asked with a slight smile.

"She thinks I'm a big cuddly teddy bear," I told him. To speed things up, I unhooked Bella's arm from around my leg, and then whispered in her ear, "Bella, the doctor is finally here to see you."

"Carlisle," she mumbled in response.

"Yes child, I need you to sit up so I can take your temperature," he told her.

"Okay," her words still came out as a mumble, but she didn't open her eyes as she sat up.

"Now, open your mouth," Carlisle instructed, and she obeyed.

Then we waited while Bella's temperature had time to register, and Carlisle took her pulse again. After he had finished, I gave him a look that I hoped asked why. It must have worked because he said, "She was asleep the first time so her pulse was slower."

I guessed that made since, at least to him because I didn't see what difference it made. I had never been interested in taking medical classes. I was more of a hands on person; of course, some doctors were very hands on, but they had practices that Rose would never have allowed me to pursue.

"99.1, a little high but not bad," Carlisle said as he withdrew and read the thermometer. Then he removed the blankets from around Bella, placed the little stethoscope pads in his ears, and told Bella to take a deep breath as he listened to her lungs through the stethoscope. He did that four times – twice in the front and twice in the back.

I never understood that practice either. Didn't your lungs sound the same from the front as they did from the back? Up until that moment, I never really thought about it, but knowing that it affected Bella, I began to ask myself questions that never entered my mind before.

"So, how is she doc?" I had always wanted to ask that, but since I never needed a doctor, I never had the chance. Bella was offering me an opportunity to say and do many things I was denied because I wasn't human, and that thought caused me to chuckle deeply.

"What's so funny, Emmett?" Bella asked.

"This," I waved my hand at the three of us, but Bella still looked confused so I explained. "Until now I only called him dad or Carlisle, now I can call him doc. I've always wanted to do that but never had the opportunity. I don't get sick and neither does anyone else in the family. You're turning out to be a great sister."

Carlisle chuckled at my comment, and after looking at both of us, Bella laughed also. "I'm glad I could be of service," she said, but her laughter turned into a coughing fit, the first she had had since before falling asleep on my lap.

When her coughing stopped, Carlisle directed, "Open your mouth and say ahhh," which she promptly did. He placed a stick he had pulled from his bag into her mouth, and used a flashlight that he had also pulled out, so he could look down her throat.

"A tongue depressor, Emmett," Carlisle said as he removed the stick.

"What, you can read minds now?" I asked.

"No," he replied, "I can read faces and yours was asking what this was," he finished as he held up the stick. Then he turned toward Bella, "You have a slightly reddish throat, a little bit of fluid building up in your lungs, and you still have a slight fever. I'm going to give you a penicillin shot, something I know you are not allergic to, and an expectorant to take to help expel the fluid from your lungs."

"I suppose you have that little bottle and a needle in your bag as well," she said.

Carlisle chuckled, "It pays to be prepared," he replied.

"Especially when I'm around," she countered. "I imagine you have memorized my charts by now. It's not like I haven't been in enough times to warrant a good reading."

"Bella, you know it doesn't take much for us to memorize anything."

"Yeah, stupid vampire memory, I know," she replied with a frown. Then she added, "Just don't share it."

Carlisle laughed as he said, "Patient confidentiality."

"Not with some people around," she replied.

We all knew she meant Edward, but Carlisle assured her, "I know when to keep my mind closed."

Her only reply was, "Good." Then she looked at me and said, "Emmett, you need to leave."

"Why?" I countered.

"Because Doctor Cullen," and she stressed the doctor, "is going to give me a shot, and I would prefer it if you didn't watch."

"It's just a shot. What's the big deal?" I asked. I hadn't really watched Carlisle ever give anyone a shot before, but I wasn't squeamish or anything like that so I didn't see what the fuss was about.

"Emmett, it's where he has to give this shot that I don't want you to see." As she spoke the color rushed up her neck and into her face. It was the first time I had ever seen her turn that shade of red. It almost matched one of Rose's lipstick colors. I however still did not understand the problem.

"Emmett," Carlisle intervened, "I have to give Bella the shot in her hip, and being a gentleman, you should not watch."

"How about being a brother?" I added.

"No," they both replied at the same time.

"Okay, I can take a hint. I'll just stand outside the doorway and make sure no one else comes into the room," I offered.

"Fine," Bella replied, and I noticed her amazing blush was fading.

I walked just outside the doorway and kept my back to the activities going on in the room, but in the entry hall was a mirror that hung on the wall in such a manner that standing where I was allowed one to view what was happening in the living room. Even though I wasn't meant to see anything, there was no way I could stop myself from looking. Bella raised her skirt and slip up to her waist and pulled her panties down just enough to reveal her hip, and then Carlisle moved in the way so I couldn't see any more. I did have to admit that Bella had nice shapely legs, and that Edward was a fool not to notice things like that about her. It was right after that thought that I heard Edward growl from upstairs causing me to laugh and throw him the thought, 'She's my sister. What's she to you?' That only caused him to growl more making me wonder once again why he cussed earlier.

I re-examined both instances and realized that each time Bella seemed to be in a less than innocent position. First, taking her slip off in front of Jasper and I, and then with her head in my lap. For someone who claimed he didn't care, it reminded me of someone who felt jealous. I chuckled softly as I heard him growl again; even though he wasn't going to admit it, he was jealous, and that realization caused me to chuckle even more. I knew I was going to have to share this new knowledge with Alice later; she would be very interested in hearing this.

"Emmett, Alice will be home in a moment, and I want the two of you to drive Bella home. I'm going to call her mother and give her instructions about Bella's medication." Then he spoke to Bella, "I'm going to write a prescription for the expectorant but you will not be able to fill it until Monday, so I'll give you enough samples to last you until then. I know it doesn't taste good, but take it anyway. I'll have your mother make an appointment with my office on Monday so I can see you after school on Wednesday. And don't over-exert yourself for the next few days; get plenty of rest." Then he placed everything back in his bag and walked out of the room as I was coming in.

"Did it hurt?" I asked.

"Yes, and it burned as the penicillin went in." She was gently rubbing the area where Carlisle must have given her the injection.

"Well, I'm glad you are feeling a little better. I was really worried for a while because you were so hot and you were sweating but shaking like you were cold. Is that what a fever does to you?"

"Didn't you ever get sick as a child?" She asked as she sat down on the couch.

"No, mom always said I was as healthy as a horse, never even had a cold as a human." I told her.

"Must be nice, I seem to get sick at least once every winter, and then there are the minor and major injuries that happen in between," she grumbled.

"Well, let's get you over this illness and see if we can cut down on the other injuries. I'll get your coat and books; I hear Alice coming up the walk now."

As Alice came in the door, I instructed her to get the car and bring it to the front door – I didn't want Bella out in the cold any longer than necessary. Then I went and gathered up Bella's belongings, and as I returned to the living room with them, I saw Carlisle handing her some small bottles and a slip of paper.

"That should get you through Monday when your mother can go to the pharmacy. You call me if anything changes, or if you feel sick from the medicine."

"Yes, sir," Bella replied solemnly.

"I expect you to be much better by the time you come to my office on Wednesday," he informed her.

"So do I," I added.

Bella chuckled softly as she said, "It's nice to know that you both care so much."

I hugged her making sure I didn't squeeze too tightly, "I'll always care sis," I laughed softly into her hair.

"Take her home Emmett," Carlisle directed before he left the room, and I complied with his request.

I helped Bella into her coat and then carried her and her books out to the waiting car.

She protested my actions, but I just repeated Carlisle, "You, young lady, are not to exert yourself."

"You're going to spoil me," she retorted.

"Good," I replied as I placed her gently into the back seat, and then slide in beside her.

Alice had to have complete details about what happened, and to save Bella's throat, I told Alice what occurred, but I omitted the part about the cuddly grizzly bear. Besides, who wanted to admit to someone who would tease him unendingly, plus share the information with Jasper, that he was called 'cuddly' along being a grizzly bear?

After reaching Bella's house, Alice walked with me as I once again carried a protesting Bella, but I only chuckled and reminded her of Carlisle's order. Bella's mother was opening the door just as we approached.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen didn't say Bella was hurt," she said as she saw me carrying Bella.

"I'm not," Bella pouted with her lower lip cutely sticking out. "Emmett refuses to let me over-exert myself because of his father."

"Sorry, dad did say you were to take it easy, and it is a long walk up to your door," I chuckled softly.

Bella's mother smiled at her and said, "I like him Bella." Then she turned to Alice, "Hello Alice, it's nice to see you again."

That was the first time I met Bella's mother, and I knew then that I had been right about liking her.

"Thank you for taking such good care of her," she said as I put Bella down, and Bella walked through the doorway.

"It was my pleasure," I responded.

She invited us in, but I said another time because more than anything I thought Bella needed her rest.

It wasn't until after I was home, and Rose and I were alone in our room that I began to tell her about what I had discovered about my relationship with Bella. I told her that knowing that Bella was around was making it easier for me to accept the idea that I would never see my real sister again.

During the next few months, I found myself talking more and more about Bella, and sharing my feelings about her with Rose, and then one day I realized that I had stopped thinking about and missing my real sister, and that was the day that I knew I could finally accept, without regret, that she was no longer a part of my existence because Bella had completely filled that empty space I had felt at the loss of my real sister.

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**By the way, if you liked my chapter, please drop me a line. I think some of the reviews have really been funny lately, especially the ones left by Hyvanna – you rock little lady. She is really funny.**


	46. Chapter 46 Jealousy

**AN: Before beginning I must once again disclaim credit for the Cullen family and Bella, but Aleksey is all mine, even though he is in love with Bella's mother. Isn't that how it always is; the good ones are all taken. Ah well, on to the story.**

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Before I start this journal entry, I have a few things to say on my behalf, especially after some of Emmett's comments. First, I wasn't aware of my exact feelings for Bella when I interrupted the poker game or when I saw Bella lying on Emmett's lap. It wasn't until much later, after I finally admitted to myself that I loved Bella, that I was able to re-examine those incidents and realize that I might have felt jealous. Of course, when I walked in on the poker game, it didn't help that Emmett's thoughts ran like this:

'Yeah, we're playing strip poker.'

'She's already stripped off her panties.'

'She's reaching up to strip off her slip.'

'You know you want her.'

'You're so blind; look at those legs.'

'She's a great kisser.'

I knew he was egging me on, and I didn't find out until later that the kiss was what made him realize he could never see her as anything but a sister. What really grated me was that Emmett was so forward and loose with females that I didn't want him taking advantage of Bella. She was so innocent and naive about things; of course, I came to learn that with Emmett, she really could take care of herself. She truly was a match for his warped sense of humor. I had to laugh later when I heard Bella tell Emmett that Jasper could have the panties because they were Alice's; it was then that I realized Bella could outwit Emmett.

As to the scene in the living room the day Bella had been sick, it was only partly that Bella's head was lying on Emmett's lap; the other part was how her hand was wrapped around Emmett's knee and she wore an expression of bliss. She displayed a comfort with Emmett that she should never have felt with a vampire, but then, Bella never did do what was expected of a human when responding to any form of monsters. The other part of that scene was my desire to be the one with which she reacted that way. Of course, I also have to admit I really never gave her a chance to react to me in any real way because I continually kept my distance from her.

Okay, so much for defending myself against Emmett. Now I want to focus on Bella.

**Journal Entry Thirty-Six – Jealousy [1959]**

Bella would argue that 1959 was a year of newness, but what she really meant was that the New Year found us dating, engaged, and head-over-heels in love. I saw 1959 as one year closer to giving Bella and me an eternity together.

Most people, when looking back on past years, focus on the highlights of the year according to what happened in the country or the world. When I looked back on years, at least the ones I want to remember, I focus on the highlights of my time with Bella. 1959 had its fair share of highs and lows, but those first two months after we returned home from the ski trip were calm uneventful days. Bella's cast slowed her down, and Carlisle made her wear it for the two full months.

At school, I gave her every bit of attention that I was allowed considering the period we lived in. I carried her books from class to class; if I ended up tardy to my own class, which almost never happened unless some teacher or student were in the hall to witness my inhuman speed, the teacher generally excused me when I mentioned that I had carried Bella Swan's books for her.

We spent our evenings equally between her house and mine. The time spent at her house allowed me more interaction with both of her parents.

Bella's mother, who insisted I call her Joanna, was an interesting woman, and very observant. Even though Bella and I kept the hand-holding to a minimum and did not kiss in front of either of her parents, I had the feeling that Joanna saw more than was surface visible.

One afternoon, while Bella was in her room changing her clothes, Joanna sat down across from me at the dining room table – that was our default location for doing homework. "I've been noticing the seriousness in your relationship with Bella, and as her mother, I cannot help but ask if this relationship will last? From your point of view, of course, because I know it will from Bella's perspective."

"I have no intention of breaking off my relationship or feelings for Bella, ma'am." Politeness dictated that I address her properly even though she offered me free use of her name, but when discussing something as serious as my feelings for Bella, I could not help but slip back into my formal polite mode. "I am just as serious about Bella as I was before Christmas, and I do not foresee those feelings to change – ever."

"Good," she smiled and reached across the table to place her hand over mine. Not once did she flinch or retract her hand because of the cold hardness of my hand under hers. "I don't believe Bella will ever change her feelings about you either. Bella has always been constant once she makes up her mind about something. She can also be rather pigheaded; once she makes a decision, she sticks with it even if she has to fight for what she wants." She then patted my hand before continuing. "Don't be fooled by her frail looks. Bella is a fighter, and she hardly ever let's anything get her down. She may appear to be giving up, but you will discover that she will eventually come out fighting despite the odds."

"I think I'm beginning to learn that," I replied, remembering how she would stay up later than necessary or endure a little more discomfort than necessary just so she could be with me longer. Her determination also showed up every time Alice dragged her through the bigger department stores or made her sit for hours while she dressed Bella for some special occasion.

"I like your family, Edward. Bella never had much of a family besides her father and me. Her father can be trying at times, but please do not let him discourage you. He means well, but for some reason he will not share. He feels it is his burden to carry all the responsibility for any injury that befalls Bella. I do know that he believes it is a family curse, but I feel there is more to it than that. He can be excessively overprotective, but don't let him chase you away. I feel that Bella has matured more thanks to you and your family, and even though no one has mentioned anything, I feel like there might be more between you and Bella than the two of you are ready to share at this time, but that's okay; I can wait." She smiled as she spoke, and I received an inkling of her thoughts that bordered on marriage, but she would not allow them to surface completely.

Most of her thoughts, naturally, focused on Bella and Bella's happiness. I knew that she would accept anything that made Bella happy, even something that might not appear right to others. Never did the words vampire, human, or supernatural surface in her mind, but I felt they were buried deep in her subconscious. Bella was an enigma to me because I could not hear her at all, and her mother was an enigma because only some of her thoughts were audible to my gift. It was almost as if she could allow some thoughts to be heard while others she kept hidden because she didn't want to share them, but if that were the case, then it meant she knew about my special gift, but I didn't really believe that.

"One word of warning, Edward," she broke into my contemplation, "Don't allow Bella's father to deter you from being with Bella. Overprotective he is, but it is still Bella's life and Bella's choice. I've tried to warn him that if he persists in his strong arm protection, he is going to push her away from him. A person can put up with only so much interference in her life even if it is done with good intentions."

I chuckled softly at her comment, and then explained, "My brother Emmett constantly warns me of the same thing. I know that Bella has to be free to live her life without hindrance, but sometimes I cannot but help to step in to protect her."

"Well dear, there is a difference between protecting and prohibiting her from living. Her father would enclose her in some kind of protective bubble that kept her completely away from the world if he could, but that would only anger her and deprive her of a life. I don't think you mean to go to those extremes." Nobody had ever called me dear before except Esme, but it gave me a slightly warm fuzzy feeling inside. "As for Emmett, well, Bella never had the opportunity to have brothers and sisters, and I had always wished I could have given her a big brother, but knowing she has Emmett provides me some comfort because I think he makes the perfect big brother for her. Like I said, Bella never had much of an extended family, but I am more than happy to share her with yours. I know everyone in your family will help look out for her best interests," she paused briefly, and then added, "Most of the time."

"Most of the time?" I asked wondering if she meant Bella's recent broken arm while under our care.

"I have to admit that Bella does share things with me, and even though I wouldn't normally condone some of the things Bella has done with your family, I've learned that she is well able to look after herself even when Emmett eggs her on." Without saying anything else, I saw images of cards in her mind and knew Bella must have told her about the strip poker. "I do admit that I'm glad you were not a part of that at the time, but still, she was wise enough to dress for the occasion," and she delivered the last remark with a small chuckle of her own.

I laughed with her but wondered how she knew I understood what she meant. I then replied, "Emmett claims Bella is deviously clever, and that is also why, he claims, he lost the bet that won Bella her ski trip as a Christmas present."

"You should tell Emmett not to play cards with Bella. Bella may attract bad luck in one way, but at cards she is extremely lucky. I've jokingly told her that on her eighteenth birthday I was taking her to Las Vegas to play blackjack. She almost never loses at that game, and she is just as good at poker – strip or otherwise." My face must have shown my surprise at her even mentioning the scandalous card game by name because she said, "I told you, Bella keeps very few secrets from me, and those she does keep are kept for the best of reasons and I do not pry into them."

She didn't say it verbally or non-verbally, but I knew she meant that Bella had never told her what we were. Although, I had to agree with what Aleksey said at New Years – she did know but wasn't saying anything.

"I have a feeling the two of you have been talking about me," Bella commented as she walked into the room.

Bella's mom promptly removed her hand from mine as she replied, "I was cautioning him about your father. I have a feeling Edward will hear some things that might scare him off."

"Edward needn't fear daddy because whatever he says will make no difference. I love Edward, and I'm learning to accept that Edward's love is just as strong and lasting as mine." Bella sat down beside me as she spoke, a huge grin spread across her kissable lips. If her mother hadn't been present, I would have kissed those desirably tempting lips.

"I'm beginning to realize that as well, honey, but I still felt he should be aware of what he is getting into." She rose slowly from the table before adding, "I will leave you two alone for now and hopefully you will get some of your homework done." She smiled as she spoke, and then she turned and went into the kitchen. The sounds of doors opening and closing and pots and pans rattling indicated that she was beginning to cook supper.

"I like your mother," I told Bella as I pulled her close and then kissed her.

"Hmm, that's nice," she murmured when I released her.

"What is nice, the fact that I like your mother or the kiss?" I chuckled softly.

"Both, but especially the kiss, and you realize she likes you also." Bella ran her finger around my lips as she spoke causing me to suck her finger into to my mouth but being careful not to allow my teeth to graze her skin.

She laughed as she pulled her finger slowly out of my mouth.

"You should be more careful, next time I might accidentally bite you," I warned her.

"Well, bite me then," she teased. "At least I would be able to remove this cast. Do you have any idea of how much my arm itches, and the worst part is that I can't reach where the itch is."

I chuckled again, "Carlisle warned you that it would itch. It only means that you are healing, and healing is good."

"But too slow; I want it healed now. I want to feel air on my arm; I want to scratch that stupid spot that is taunting me because it knows I can't reach it."

I loved to watch her expressions when she became upset and irritated. She had a tendency to scrunch up her nose, and her lips puckered slightly in her irritation. The pucker proved too tempting so I leaned in and kissed her.

"That was nice," she cooed when I released her lips from mine. "To what do I owe that pleasure?"

"You're cute when you're upset, and I thought a kiss would help," I chuckled softly.

"It helped, but the itch is still here. Think you can do anything about it?" A slight smile skipped across her ruby wet lips causing me to lean in and kiss her again.

"You have to stop being so tempting; we'll never get your homework done if you keep tempting me with those appealingly kissable lips."

Bella's smile grew and her face began to glow and not just because of the slight blush that spread up from her neck. "Could you be anymore charming without trying?" She joked.

"I can but only when I'm around you. You do realize Bella that you bring out the best in me. I was never like this before I met you. I didn't talk to girls except for Rose and Alice, and I would never have dared to charm them, besides, they never appealed to me the way you do."

"I know; my blood lures you to me with its sweet scent." She wrinkled her nose as she spoke, and I attributed that look to her dislike of the smell of blood.

"Not in some time, I can assure you. Your blood no longer interests me, but you do," I slid my chair back just far enough that I was able to reach over and pull Bella onto my lap. "I'm now only interested in the person you are. I'm charmed by your beauty, your intellect, your keen sense of humor, your compassionate heart, your trust in me, and your overall captivating personality." I placed my lips on her neck and kissed around her collarbone, and then moved up to her ear where I whispered, "I am your captive slave. Command me."

"I don't think we should continue this at the dining room table. Dad might come home early, and as much as I'm enjoying this, I don't think he would be at all happy," she murmured softly.

"But your mom thinks it's cute," I whispered softly.

Bella pulled away from me, and I knew she was looking over my shoulder. I didn't need to see that her mom was standing in the doorway because I heard her move there.

Bella squeaked, "Hi mom."

"Don't stop on my account," Bella's mother chuckled, "I thinks it's adorable. He's a keeper, Bella. Don't let him get away."

Without looking, I heard her move back into the kitchen. "I think your mother likes me," I snickered softly against Bella's neck.

"Too bad my dad doesn't feel the same way," she admonished.

"He doesn't like the fact that I'm stealing away his little girl," I offered.

"I'm not a little girl," she groaned.

"I know," I whispered just before I began kissing her neck again. I continued for a few more minutes before I pulled away and said, "I guess we really should focus on your homework now."

We spent the rest of the late afternoon working on Bella's math homework until her father came home. That was my cue to leave for about two hours. He seemed to greet me the same way every time he came in. "Are you still here?" he would ask, and I would reply, "I'm just leaving sir." I was careful not to kiss Bella good-bye in front of him, so Bella would walk me to the door were we would be out of his vision. I would always return around seven and Bella and I would either watch television with her parents or we would play a game at the dining room table – generally it was a game instead of television.

Bella's father did not welcome my intrusion into his happy little family, as he considered it, but he at least tolerated me for Bella's sake, so he would continually remind himself silently. His greatest hope was that she would soon tire of me, and that would end our being together. The poor man had no idea how much we both loved each other. If he did, I wasn't sure what his next move would be to break us up, but I suspected he would try to forcibly break us apart.

The days Bella would come to my house after to school were much more relaxing, and she would always stay for dinner much to Esme's delight. It gave her the chance to cook again; Esme said it was one of the things she really missed since she had been changed, but now that we had someone in the house that ate human food, Esme was allowed to practice her culinary talents.

Conversations were also easier while at my house, and that was when Bella begin questioning me about some things that were mentioned over the supper table on New Year's Eve.

One evening, while Bella and I sat on my bed listening to music, Bella delved into a topic I knew had sparked her interest when Aleksey first mentioned it.

"Edward, have you ever been a Protector?" She had taking to tracing imaginary designs on the top of my hand while she lounged against me on the bed, and I had my arms wrapped around her. Beethoven's 5th Symphony was playing in the background.

"No." I gave no more information than that wondering how far she would go with this topic.

"Oh, then tell me about these Protectors," she replied still tracing on my hand.

"Well, briefly . . ."

"No, not briefly, I want to know everything about them. Who are they? What do they do? Why do all vampires take a turn with them? And anything else you think I don't want to know." Her tone was firm and I noticed her tracing had paused as she spoke."

"Everything, huh, well, what if I tell you what I know, and leave it at that."

She stared deeply into my eyes as if searching for something. After a few moments, she replied, still in a very decisive voice, "Fine, I'll ask Emmett to fill in the blanks, and if I need any other information, I'll ask Uncle Peter."

"No, you won't," I felt that green-eyed monster creeping up on me. Why, I wondered, did I feel so jealous of a man who was in love with Bella's mother. Because, I answered myself silently, he could be her father if things had gone differently when she was child.

The vision played out quickly in my mind. Aleksey, pulled by the connection he felt toward Bella's mom, promptly makes Bella's father disappear, and then he moves in to console the grieving wife and daughter, finally confesses his feelings for the woman and she ends up declaring her missing husband dead, marries Aleksey and adopts Bella as his daughter. A bit melodramatic, but that was exactly the way it played out in my mind, and what I now thought of as mine had become his, in away. Jealousy is a wicked companion.

What happened next surprised me. Right after speaking, Bella instantly turned on me and began poking the same finger she had used to trace imaginary designs on my hand into my chest as she declared, "Edward Cullen, you will never again tell me whom I can and cannot talk to. I'm not a child, and 'you' Mister are not my father." Each word toward the end was emphasized with a jab of her finger, which was so ineffectual that I would have laughed except for the intense look in her eyes and the tone of her voice.

This was a side of Bella I had never seen before. Her eyes seemed to flame as she spoke. She didn't yell, but there was a fierce force behind her voice that I had never heard before, and from a few doors down I heard Emmett declare, "Hot damn! Bella's a little spitfire when she gets mad!" promptly followed by, "Ow, that hurt Rose. Why'd you hit me?" Rose gave no verbal reply, but I knew she was upset by what she considered a rude comment about Bella.

From the living room I heard Jasper's sharp intake of breath as his thoughts flooded into me. 'I've never felt such anger from Bella before. Edward, what did you just do?' And from Alice I heard, 'Think of a way to correct this quickly or you'll regret it.'

Alice was right; Bella was incensed, and I had to correct my mistake as quickly as possible, but how do you apologize to a furious nest of hornets that you have accidentally riled because that was just what Bella reminded me of.

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AN: Private note to Noble Korhedron, I could not reply to your pm because I had no way of contacting you or I would have told you I was posting very soon. Sorry about not responding, but that was why.


	47. Chapter 47 The Protectors

**AN: Stephenie Meyer has to claim on the characters in this chapter, but both the story idea and the Protectors are all mine. Thanks for reading, and a big thanks to those of you who have taken time to submit a review for the last chapter: Viper003, LabyrinthOfDarkness, graciousplum, SamiLea, Siriusmunchkin, & Nena1981 (a newcomer to our little story), oh and I can't forget Hyvanna who always sends me wonderful pm that make me laugh. **

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Six – The Protectors [1959]**

I needed to be as repentant as possible, I thought, so I moved off the bed quickly, knelt down beside it facing Bella, reached out and took her hand in mine, and said, "You are correct, and what I said was out of line and uncalled for. I humbly beg your forgiveness for my egregious transgression."

'You're over doing it some little brother.' Emmett's unwelcome comment shot into my mind.

'Kiss her wrist,' Alice offered silently, and because it was Alice's suggestion, I did just that all the time keeping my eyes locked on Bella. I would not miss her reaction to my apology, which I really wanted her to accept.

Bella had been right though; I did not have any right to tell her who she could talk to, and she had been right earlier when she had said I needed to overcome this unwarranted jealousy of Aleksey. He was not her father or her protector, and she did not love him as she loved me. I had to cement that into my conscious thoughts, and stop reacting to his name every time she uttered it.

As I kissed Bella's wrist, I watched her eyes relent, and then she reached out and touched my cheek. "I'm not sorry I yelled, Edward," she began softly, "because you really do need to overcome this obsession about Uncle Peter. I'm also not sorry because now you know I have a temper; it doesn't come out often, but when pushed, I can . . . well, you know . . ." she trailed off.

"Become a spit-fire, like Emmett said?" I asked softly in return.

She pulled her hand away from me and covered her face with a slight moan, "Oh no, they all heard didn't they?"

"I'm afraid so," I confirmed.

"Unfair vampire hearing," she muttered with her hand still covering her face.

I slowly removed her hand from her face as I said, "I promise Bella, I will work on this feeling of jealousy, and I also promise that I will tell you everything that I know about the protectors. Will that help you to forgive me?"

She gave me a small smile, not the loving one that I wanted, but I knew I had to be satisfied that she was willing to smile at me even a little. "You're forgiven Edward."

With that, I moved back onto the bed, settled her with her back against my chest, wrapped my arms around her, and began to tell her what I knew. "Like Carlisle and Aleksey said, we are all expected to serve for twenty years as a Protector, and the job is just that. They protect the laws that we are required to live by, and they protect, to some extent, humans who are in danger when certain laws are broken. You might look at them as policemen, but they not only intervene when a law is violated but also act as the judge and jury. Punishment can come swiftly and severely to serious or dangerous violators."

"So what are some of the laws, and what are some of the punishments?" She asked as she once again began to trace designs on the top of my hand that was lying comfortably on her warm stomach.

"The severest punishments, such as death, are dealt out to those who break laws pertaining to violations of humans. It is natural that vampires seek humans for sustenance, but the law forbids us to use children as a source, which is one reason why Aleksey should never have bitten you."

"What makes children a forbidden fruit?"

It was an odd analogy for her to make, but an apt one in my opinion. "For one, children have a greater chance of dying if too much venom remains in their system. This applies to the elderly as well. Children under the age of thirteen and adults over the age of seventy are considered off limits. Both groups have less chance of surviving an accidental venom contamination. It is also one of the reasons that the law forbids the changing of children and the elderly; they are both more likely to die before the change is completed. Their bodies just cannot take the stress of the change." Stress was the incorrect word, but I didn't want to use the term 'incomprehensible agony' because I didn't want to scare her. That revelation I was saving until the time of her change – I would then reveal all the horrors of being changed so she could make a decision based on the true facts.

"So instead of changing, they die." Bella stated for clarification.

"Yes."

"You said it was one of the reasons, what are the others?"

"Well, imagine being ten years old and being changed. For the next twenty years your mind will fill with knowledge, understanding, and a type of maturity, but your body will remain that of a ten year old. Now imagine how it would feel to have the mind of a thirty-year-old in a ten-year-old body. Imagine all the things prohibited to you because of your apparent age."

"I don't think I would like that at all. At least as an eighteen year old, I could make myself look older, and I would technically be considered an adult, but a ten year old will always been seen as a child, albeit an intelligent one. No, I would not like that at all; it would be so unfair."

"Exactly, and that is why it is forbidden to change children, and why it is better not to bite them either so an accident does not happen causing them to change."

"And the penalty of drinking from or trying to change a child is death?" She sounded slightly shocked at the possibility of the punishment, and I wondered if it was related to the fact that Aleksey bit her when she was but a child.

"No, not unless one does it intentionally, or in a cruel or vicious manner will the punishment result in death. You see, Bella, just as there are humans who seem to enjoy torturing other humans, there are, at times, vampires who enjoy cruelty while seizing, drinking from, and eventually killing a human. I will not gloss over the fact that some of my kind are less than humane about taking what they want or need, and an extreme few will even keep a human for the purpose of torturing them while slowing killing them by draining their blood. Evil comes in many forms Bella, and unfortunately, evil is not exclusive to just humans."

"Why would anyone take pleasure in torturing another sentient being?"

It didn't sound as if she was asking me that question, but I answered it anyway. "Why do some people take pleasure in torturing animals?"

"What do you mean?" I knew she was still thinking about the torture of humans or what she would label people, but I wanted her to see the bigger picture.

"Well, isn't a bull fight or a dog fight a form of torture? The end result of each is the slow death of an animal, and don't animals feel pain?"

"I hadn't thought about that, so I guess you are right." She was quiet for a moment, and then she said, "What other laws are there?"

"Well, one of the laws that might result in the death of a vampire is the intentional creation of multiple new-born vampires. There is no law against changing someone, of proper age, into a vampire, but during that seemingly infant stage, the creator of the newborn is required to take responsibility for his charge. Carlisle saw all of us as his children, with the exception of Esme of course. He claims that any vampire who changes a human must look after that newborn vampire as his child. During the first two years, the 'parent' is responsible for teaching the 'child' the rules and laws that govern us, and should also teach the 'child' how to go out on his own if the 'parent' doesn't intend to keep his charge with him."

"Why is it wrong then to have multiple newborns?"

I chuckled softly, "Newborns are strong Bella, and they can be extremely rebellious. Maybe it would be better to compare them the teenage delinquents with greater strength then their parents. After you are changed, you will be able to challenge Emmett to a fight, and you will easily beat him." Bella laughed at that comment. "It may seem impossible to you now, but you just wait."

I heard Emmett laughing in the background as well as he said, "Bella might be stronger, but I'll still be quicker; she'll never beat me." I heard Jasper's laugh in response to Emmett comment as well as his, "That's what he thinks," response.

I was glad Bella hadn't heard any of their talk; for now, she had enough to think about without any future possibilities added to it.

"I just can't see myself taking on a mountain, Edward, but if you say it is true, then I'll trust your opinion. I can understand why a newborn, as you call them, needs a parent or mentor during the first few years. Are there other laws that the Protectors enforce?"

"Quite a few in fact, and the biggest one is not revealing our existence to humans, except those we intend to keep either as companions or with the intent of changing them."

"Then Uncle Peter broke that rule in a way. I figured out what he was, but he didn't keep me. Is that why they want to start a Protector group over here, because it's so easy to miss some of the law breakers?"

Bella's intelligent thinking was proving that there would never be any brief explanation of any topic we talked about. "Mostly, you see it is hard for them to spread out too thinly. If something major were to occur, they need to be able to handle it in force, but if they begin spreading themselves out over both the hemispheres, they weaken their power. As to your Uncle Peter, if this had happened over in Europe, it is very likely they would have discovered his transgression, and your existence. The problem with you is that Aleksey did try to make you forget, but he had no power over your mind. The Protectors might have found you an interesting study and might have put you in the custody of someone they trusted to . . . well, I guess you could call it experimenting on you."

"But I was child; wouldn't that have violated their law about harming a child?" She had pulled slightly away to face me; her shock was evident on her face.

I laughed lightly, "No, the experimenting would have been non-invasive. They probably would have tried other mind controls on you to see if their various powers could penetrate your mind. It would have been done in the hopes of making you forget what you knew, but I have a feeling they would have failed."

"Would they still do that to me if they found out I know?" There was still some fear in her voice and her eyes.

"No, not now; once Carlisle took you into the family, you fell under his protection, and now that we are engaged and I'm planning to turn you when you are old enough, it would no longer be seen as a violation. Your mother, on the other hand, is another matter."

"My mother! Why?" She was still looking at me, watching my face as if searching for deeper answers or meanings than I was giving.

"Well, even though she has never said anything, I still believe that she knows what we are. It was something she said to me one day while you were in your room changing. She never used the word vampire, but I think that's what she believes. Of course, before anything could be proven against her, the Protectors would have to have solid evidence of her knowledge, and your mother seems extremely closed lipped about what she knows or believes. So, you see, it is a good thing that we don't have any Protectors in this part of the world at the moment."

"Do you think we will one day?"

"Yes I do, and I have a feeling that both Carlisle and Aleksey will be the ones to arrange it, but not until everything with you and I is settled. That's why Carlisle is not ready to talk to the European group at this time. He will do everything in his power to keep you out of their sight, and since they only come over here to investigate serious violations of the law, I don't think we need to worry about them."

"Edward, if Carlisle does eventually help start a group over here, will you serve with them?" She bit her lower lip while awaiting my answer. It was an endearing habit she had when she was nervous, but it also tempted me because I wanted to kiss that lip as soon as she released it from her teeth.

Instead of following through on my desire, I focused on her question. "I think Carlisle would like all of us to take our turn at the same time, so I imagine when it is all arranged, we will all volunteer, which is another reason why Carlisle is holding back. He would like the entire family to serve at one time so we won't be separated for twenty years, and that would include you."

"But not as a human, right?" She still kept her eyes focused on mine, but had finally released her lip from her teeth. The bite might have been slight, but I noticed the heightened color in her lower lip because of it.

"No, not as a human, he will wait until you are changed and then give us a few years to be together before making his arrangements. I don't want to spend our honeymoon as Protectors, and I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy that idea either."

Bella laughed softly, "A honeymoon with you; I think Emmett might have rubbed off on me more than I thought. I'm beginning to have images that are pleasing but probably not quite appropriate," she said as she began to blush a deep shade of red.

"Ask her to share," Emmett called out, and this time Bella must have heard him because, despite what I thought possible, the blushed deepened in color.

"Shut up Emmett," I called back and pulled Bella into my arms, and whispered, "Don't encourage him, and don't be embarrassed. Carlisle assures me it is natural to have such thoughts." It had been a talk I had with Carlisle not long after we returned from the ski trip. I had begun to feel like a hormonal teenager, something I thought impossible because of my extended vampire age, but he reassured me that the feelings were natural now that I had found my true love.

She laughed softly at my comment, and replied, "I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot, Emmett would be pleased to share, but I'm not as bold as he is." She squirmed out of my grasp and turned toward me again. "Edward, you've never been a protector. No one in the family has, except Carlisle. How is that possible?"

I chuckled softly, "The family has kept a low profile; we don't do anything to draw attention to ourselves from the European group. Carlisle knows that eventually one of the Protectors will find out about all of us, but until then, Carlisle prefers not to share his information. We did have a close call a few years before Alice and Jasper joined the family. We were living in an area plagued by a rouge vampire; he had gone on a killing spree that became headline news even in Europe, and two of the Protectors came to investigate. Once here, they began tracking down vampires that lived in the area including Carlisle. Carlisle agreed to help them with their task, but he kept the rest of the family hidden. He was not ready to have his family torn apart for the sake of fulfilling our duties to the Protectors, nor was he willing to uproot the family just for the sake of us fulfilling those obligations. We were lucky that time, and now that Alice has joined the family, she is able to notify us when any of them are coming over here for some violation or another."

"What else do you know about them?" Bella was nothing if not persistent in her quest for knowledge.

"Actually, that is about all I know expect that it really is expected of everyone of us to serve at least one twenty year term with them, and after that it is not mandatory to serve again but it is not forbidden either."

"Twenty years in vampire terms isn't very long. Why don't they require a longer term of service?"

"Long before even Carlisle's time, we didn't have Protectors. We had a ruling class who basically did the job of the Protectors, but with time they became power hungry and began to coerce some of the more talented vampires into serving them. After a few hundred years, their rule became corrupt and a revolution occurred."

"A vampire revolution; how interesting," Bella mused quietly to herself, causing me to chuckle slightly.

"Yes, vampires had their own form of a revolution against a ruling power that had overstepped the lines of what was acceptable. It decimated our numbers, but eventually the members of the ruling class were either eradicated or they ran off to hide and live somewhere else. Those vampires who survived developed the idea of the Protectors, and it was agreed to keep the term of service short so no one vampire or group of them could take complete control again. We learn very quickly from our mistakes and rarely make the same mistake twice."

"Do you think Elesha ever served?"

That name coming from the lips of the most perfect being on God's earth, seemed iniquitous as if her existence was violating my immaculate fiancée, but I could not stop the amazement I felt at Bella's vast inquisitive thirst. Since turned in such as way that she was partially facing me, I lifted her up and sat her across my lap and pulled her to my chest, being sure that her broken arm was away from me. "Do you know that you ask some of the oddest questions? That particular question I can only guess at, but my guess would be no."

"I agree Bella," Alice yelled up from the living room. "No group would want someone who smells that bad," she ended with a bell-like laugh.

Jasper supported her comment by adding, "The males would especially have vetoed her application."

"Application?" Bella mouthed at me.

Emmett opened the door, plopped down on the end of the bed, and commented, "Bella, can you imagine the mayhem that harpy could cause if she were a Protector? Because she repels humans and vampires alike, she would be the one the Protectors would have to guard others against, and right now she has information that could bring the Protectors to our doorstep if they listened to her."

"Why 'if' they listened? Why wouldn't they listen to her?" Bella seemed to quake a little at the light of Elesha going to them.

Emmett slid closer and reached out and took Bella's uninjured hand, "Did you hear her voice; did you smell her scent? The Protectors are well trained; they have learned to discern the difference between sincere concern about a problem and a vengeful self-seeking petitioner. Her voice, scent, and aura would have labeled her as troublemaker. They might have sent someone to talk to Carlisle, but I doubt they would have taken her seriously. You, my dear little sister are safe from her and from the Protectors. Edward, on the other hand, could receive a dressing down for his thick-headed refusal to accept you for what you were when he first met you."

"And what exactly was that?" I growled softly.

Emmett laughed, "She was and is your perfect match, your soul mate, and your true love and you couldn't see that."

Bella laughed softly, "Don't be too hard on him Emmett. At least he was willing to admit the truth before you lost me forever."

"And how would I have lost you forever?" I asked slightly taken aback at her comment.

She looked down at the hand Emmett held, and sighed. "Well, just before my birthday, I was thinking about having my mom send me to live with a relative just so I could try to get over how I felt about you. I think Alice saw what I was planning and that is why your brothers and sister planned the elaborate party. Maybe Alice saw the results of the party as well."

"Yes, I did," Alice called up.

Why they didn't all congregate in my room, I'm not sure. It wasn't as if Bella and I were being allowed a private conversation. Just as I thought that, Alice and Jasper appeared at the door.

"We thought you would never ask," Alice quipped and Jasper chuckled softly.

"There is no keeping her away when she wants to join," Jasper added with an apologetic look.

I didn't have to offer them seats because they both took immediate seats on the bed.

"Why the interest in an extended vampire history, Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Well," she blushed slightly while seeking her words carefully, "I decided that it might be beneficial if I learned as much about my upcoming life now, so I would have less to learn later."

"You do realize," boomed Emmett laughingly, "That most of your human memories will be lost during the change."

I felt Bella tense up at his words and growled under my breath, "Emmett, she didn't need that piece of information so soon."

Alice got up from her position, moved toward Emmett and pushed him to the foot of the bed, and then took the hand that Emmett had been holding. "Bella, honey, not everything is lost, and some of us lose less than others. The key is to try to remember as much as possible while going through the change." I had never heard this before, so I wondered where Alice had obtained her information. I glared at her past Bella, but Alice just warned me with her eyes not to say anything.

Bella looked up at Alice and I watched as she searched Alice's eyes and face for the truth. Alice remained composed – no one was a better liar than Alice when the need arose.

"Well, maybe I should keep a journal then," Bella began hesitantly. "Maybe if I write all my memories down, and then read over them often, I will forget less."

"I would suggest you only write down the good memories," Alice said softly in response with an encouraging smile.

"Write down the strip poker game, Bella. You won't want to forget the look on Emmett's face when you said I could have the panties you took off," Jasper chuckled softly causing Bella to blush and laugh in response.

"I should write down about the kiss he gave me as well, so I'll never forget what it feels like to kiss a brother," Bella replied. I had heard about that kiss first from Emmett as he rubbed in the fact that he had kissed Bella, but then Alice showed me the kiss, and Bella was right, the look on Emmett's face was a memorable moment she would want to keep. "Maybe," Bella laughed, "Esme could paint me a picture of that look. They do say that a picture is worth a thousand words." I even heard Rose laugh at that comment, but Emmett only huffed in disagreement.

"Okay, I think family time is over," I announced. "This was to be time for Bella and me to be alone, and I would be more than happy to see you remove yourselves from my room."

"Sure, little brother, besides, I can still listen in from any other room in the house."

I groaned in response to Emmett's response as he rose from the bed chuckling, but then smiled as I heard Rose call, "Emmett, I want your help in the garage."

"I think Alice and I will go for a walk," Jasper added as a way of saying we could have some time alone.

Once I heard everyone exit the house, Carlisle and Esme had been gone for most of the day, I focused my attention on Bella. "So, is the history lesson for today complete?" I asked as I began to kiss the side of her face, and then moved my lips down to her throat.

"Just one more questions?" She was able to manage that question through her soft moans of pleasure as I continued kissing her throat and neck.

"And just what would that be?" I questioned between kisses.

"What did you mean when you said Elesha needed to fill out an application?" Her breathing was becoming slightly labored as I kissed around her ear.

"Oh," I paused in my exploration of her neck with my lips. "Anyone who is ready to take their position as a Protector must file an application with basic background. It allows the current group to find out more about your past history, and it helps weed out applicants who might abuse their powers as a protector."

"Oh," she murmured breathlessly.

"Are all your questions answered?" I began to move toward her lips with mine as I spoke.

"For now," she groaned in pleasure.

"Good, I'd like to focus on a more interesting topic," I replied just before kissing the corners of her lips.

"Oh, and what is that?" Bella was breathless as she spoke.

"You and your kissable lips," I said and then placed my lips on hers.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in exploration of lips, necks, and shoulders with our lips.


	48. Chapter 48 Finally

**AN: As with all the previous chapters, we declare that Stephenie Meyer owns the Cullen family and Bella, but the rest of the story comes from what we know and are will to share so we own all the rest of this story.**

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Seven – Finally [1959]**

February went by faster than I had imagined possible. Bella and I spent the time talking, doing homework, and planning our future. Bella had some very definite ideas about what she would accept in her future. She agreed I could buy her a house, but she refused to accept anything ostentatious. She also agreed that a college degree would be beneficial, but she refused to attend any Ivy League schools and unequivocally vetoed Emmett's suggestion of an all-girl college.

Even honeymoon options were discussed and Bella voiced her strenuous objections about tropical hideaways. She said she didn't mind hiding away with me, but it had to be somewhere without mosquitoes or bugs. I laughed as I reminded her that we might find bugs anywhere we went. She joking replied, "Not in the Antarctic," but I didn't believe she had seriously considered going to the South Pole, so I laughingly informed her that once she was changed mosquitoes would never bite her again and even bugs would be less bothersome.

Our big February day was the 14th, but Bella refused to celebrate by going dancing. For her, the cast was becoming bothersome, and her arm had begun to itch more. Carlisle reassured her that the itching meant her arm was healing, but to Bella it only meant an annoying unreachable itch, and all she wanted was to vigorously scratch it.

To make up for not taking her out, I sent her half a dozen red roses in the morning and had another dozen delivered late in the afternoon; of course, I had them delivered to our house because Bella was spending the weekend. It also helped that Bella's father didn't see all the flowers I sent because it would have upset him – he didn't like the show of wealth that roses represented, so I only sent Bella home with three the following evening. At lunch, I presented her with a simple gift. I purchased a charm bracelet and had one charm attached, knowing I could add more later on. The first charm was a simple 24 karat gold heart with the words 'My Angel' engraved on one side and 'My Heart' on the other. I admit I stole the idea of the charm bracelet from Emmett's gift to Rose at Christmas, but I also knew Bella had helped him pick it out. My plan was to add a charm each time Bella and I did something special to commemorate her human years with me. I planned on filling it before I turned her, and then we could use the bracelet to help Bella remember those events after she was changed.

Of course, I didn't tell Bella about my plans for the charm bracelet because I didn't want her worrying about what she might forget. It had been bad enough that she had found out about the memory loss from Emmett, but lately she had begun to dream about it. More than one night, she had begun to talk in her sleep about losing her identity or forgetting who I was, and I would spend quality time calming her down and reassuring her that everything was fine. With those thoughts haunting her, I didn't want to add to it by telling her the charm bracelet was a form of memory saver.

Between the flowers, the gift, and a quiet night spent cuddling in my room, Valentine's Day actually was an enjoyable holiday, and I have to admit, that was the first year, since being changed, that I even celebrated Valentine's Day. Usually, I spent the day away from home because I didn't want to hear what everyone else in the family was doing or thinking about doing to make the day even more special, especially after the sun went down. The best thing about that Valentine's Day, besides the fact that I spent it with Bella, was that it fell on a Saturday, and Alice arranged one of her special weekend sleepovers, so I had Bella all to myself, more or less, from Friday night all the way through to Sunday evening. I had Bella home in plenty of time to watch the Ed Sullivan show, and then I bowed out early to allow Bella sometime with her parents, but I turned up in her bedroom a few hours later as pre-arranged. There was hardly a night, anymore, that I didn't spend with Bella, and if something came up that kept me away, I generally had Alice sitting with her to make sure she didn't sleep walk. Alice enjoyed her nightly excursion to Bella's because, as Alice said, most nights there was a floor show. For some reason, Bella subconsciously knew when I wasn't in her room, and she would get up out of bed and begin wandering around her room looking for me.

Valentine's Day was the only holiday celebration that we did in February, but there were many other memorable days that month as well, although Bella no longer remembers most of them, and I attribute that to her broken arm. I don't think it was one of the human memories that Bella wanted to remember, but for me, I remember every day of that February as if it was yesterday – the perks of a vampire memory. Bella laughs when I tell her this, but everyday with Bella is special for me, even if the highlight of the day was kissing her in the school hallway in front of a group of girls who thought I could do better than Bella for a girlfriend.

'Girlfriend,' that is a joke. It was never a term I applied to Bella. For me she went from a siren temptation with her blood, to the love of my life, to fiancée. To me, a girlfriend is the relationship begun between Alice and Bella, which quickly developed into a sisterly relationship.

Standing in the hallway passionately kissing Bella in front of those girls was a memory I never wanted to forget. Watching their mouths drop open in unattractive gaps was worth the detention I earned when Principal Warren walked around the corner; even Bella didn't mind the detention when I promised to pick up where I left off after we got home that afternoon.

Of course, Bella's father was none too pleased when he finally heard his daughter had served detention because she had been caught kissing a boy in the hallway, and he would never have found out if one of the gap-mouthed girls hadn't been the daughter of one of Bella's dad's subordinates at the Army reserve office. I found myself standing beside Bella while her father lectured her on appropriate protocol while in public places; I felt it only fair that I undergo his lecture as well, since I was the instigator of the kiss in the first place. Bella held my hand through the entire ordeal, and a couple of times she squeezed my hand as her father raised his voice when covering points he considered extremely important. Afterward, I said goodnight to Bella's parents and then Bella, only to make my way directly up to her room from outside the house. There had been no moon that night, so it was easy to reach her window without being seen by any of the neighbors. The large oak tree next to Bella's window also helped cover my nightly trek up to her bedroom window.

As February turned to March, the weather warmed up slightly and Bella became overly anxious about getting her cast removed. Carlisle had warned her soon after the accident that she would have to wear the cast a minimum of nine weeks. Bella had pinned her hopes on an early release only to find herself disappointed when it didn't occur. Her final unveiling date, as Emmett referred to it, came during the first week of March. Carlisle had informed Bella that he would remove the 'offending monstrosity,' as she called it, on the first Friday of the month. In honor of the event, Bella kept a calendar on her desk with the date circled in red and the preceding days X-ed out in red with the comment 'one day closer' neatly written at the bottom of each X-ed out date.

Right after school on Friday, I drove Bella and her mother to Carlisle's office so he could remove the cast. I think Bella's mother was just as excited to have the cast off as Bella was. While sitting in the waiting room, Bella's mother discussed with her Alice's preplanned shopping trip for the next day. Even though Bella wasn't excited about the excursion, her mother was because Alice had been kind enough to invite her along. In fact, Alice had arranged for Esme to go as well; Alice referred to it as necessary bonding time between two mothers and their daughters. I asked her why Rose hadn't been invited, but Alice just laughed and said it would be the wrong bonding, and left it at that. Alice could be cryptic and secretive when she wanted, and I was not to find out what she meant until summer vacation.

Bella's one comment as she walked out of Carlisle's office was, "Finally," and I noticed she was scratching her arm as the three of us walked out to my car. I could not help but chuckle as Bella made noises of relief as she was finally able to scratch her arm.

Alice's Saturday shopping trip the next day meant I would be alone, so Jasper and I arranged a hunting trip up into the Rainer mountain range. Emmett ended up joining us because he wanted to get a few grizzlies before the spring thaw woke them up. Emmett enjoyed entering a grizzly cave and waking one up himself. Grizzlies were almost as grumpy as Bella when she was rudely awoken early in the morning.

_[I can't believe she did that. My sweet, precious, angelic wife just hit me upside the head while she was reading over my shoulder as I wrote; however, I have to tell you the reader and her that I will not retract that last statement. Bella may have forgotten the human memories she chose not to remember, but I have witnesses to the fact the she really was grumpy if awoken too early. An incident with Emmett comes to mind first and foremost as a perfect example. It was one of those Alice planned sleepovers, meaning Bella spent the night in my bed, and I had decided I would wake her up with breakfast in bed. Emmett, unfortunately, had other plans. As soon as I left the room to make Bella breakfast, Emmett slipped into my room and began bouncing on the bed in the hopes of rousing Bella. He at least had learned to bounce lightly enough so as not to break my bed._

_Bella, much to Emmett's chagrin, remained sleeping, so he leaned over and blew in her ear. Still he received no response, so he whispered in her ear, "Edward's been seriously hurt," to which Bella sat straight up in bed causing Emmett to laugh._

_I didn't realize any of this had happened until I heard a loud crash of glass coming from my room. By that time I had breakfast already on the tray, so I grabbed it and almost flew up the stairs thinking Bella had hurt herself somehow. What I found when I opened the door was Bella on her knees, sitting upright on her heels on the bed, and facing a laughing Emmett with two pillows at his feet and one broken lamp scattered around him._

"_She growled at me," Emmett finally said through his laughter as he turned toward me. "She actually growled, Edward."_

"_And the lamp?" I asked curiously._

"_She threw it at me," he chuckled._

"_Too bad it didn't hurt him," Bella growled. Emmett had been correct about that, she did growl, and as I listened I could still hear the low rumbling from her throat. "I would have thrown something heavier if I could have found something within easy reach."_

"_What did you do, Emmett?" There was no way Bella would be this mad if he hadn't done something to upset her._

"_I was only trying to wake her up to see if what you had said was true," he replied innocently._

"_And exactly what did he say, Emmett?" Bella's teeth were clenched, and I could see the fire in her eyes even from the doorway._

_Emmett looked sheepishly down at his feet before finally admitting, "He said you could be as grumpy as a grizzly bear if someone woke you up too early in the morning." His comment brought another growl from her. "Well, I didn't believe him; I had to see for myself." Looking up and seeing Bella still kneeling on the bed with her teeth were still clenched tightly, Emmett chuckled tentatively as he added, "He was right. You can be a real bear this early in the morning."_

_Bella shot me a look as she said, "I ignored the bouncing, and him blowing in my ear, but when he told me your had been hurt . . . well, I got scared," she looked down as she admitted the last. Then she glared at Emmett as she continued, "Then I heard him laughing, and I knew it was a lie. I got mad; I picked up the nearest things and retaliated. I wish the stupid lamp had at least knocked him silly even if for only a few seconds," she admitted._

"_I think you should leave Emmett," I commanded more than suggested. By this time I had already learned that Bella had a temper, and now Emmett knew how testy Bella could be when awoken from a comfortable sleep._

_And like I said, Bella denies being that way, but Emmett is my witness that Bella could put many a grizzly bear to shame when she was unduly disturbed from her sleep, and it was the last time Emmett tried that again. Sorry for the short editorial, but it needed to be said.]_

As I said, Alice had the shopping trip all planned out, and Bella's mother was more than happy to be included in the party. For Bella's part, she only agreed because of her mother. The one low spot for Alice was that she would have to drive the speed limit; Bella might openly know and admit what we were, but her mother never openly admitted knowing anything, so Alice had to act as human as possible during this trip. It was the one thing all three of us brothers laughed about while we were hunting. Even Jasper was able to lighten up and joke about Alice having to tone down her speed shopping while Bella's mother was around, and Alice would have to forgo buying Bella clothes and then telling Bella they cost less than they actually did.

From what Bella shared after the trip was over, everything seemed to have enjoyed themselves. She was extremely happy that Esme and her mother seemed to develop a mutual respect for each other. Even Esme had only words of praise for Bella's mother. In fact, she commented that the woman should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being able to maintain harmony in her family considering the way her husband behaved toward Bella. It was the first time I ever heard Esme say anything unkind about a human being, but she declared Bella's father a tartar when it came to his dealing with Bella.

To make up for the shopping trip Alice imposed on Bella, I invited Bella to go shopping with me the following weekend. She was hesitant at first, but since it meant spending time alone with me, she finally agreed. To make it even easier on her, I arranged to pick her up after lunch for our shopping trip; the one condition I applied was that as we neared the store, she had to keep her eyes closed so it would be a surprise. After the customary complaints about disliking surprises, Bella finally agreed to not only close her eyes but also to keep them closed until I told her she could open them.

I intentionally parked two blocks from the store and then slowly led Bella, with her eyes surprisingly closed tightly, down the sidewalk and into the store.

"Edward," she whispered, "is this what I think it is?"

"And just what do you think it is?" I murmured back.

"A bookstore." Her voice radiated euphoria.

"What gives you that idea?" I asked curiously. She still had not opened her eyes, but I did notice she was inhaling deeply.

"I can smell paper, old and new, and the rich scent of leather. Nothing but libraries and bookstores carry those wonderful aromas," she replied.

"Open your eyes, Bella." I'm not sure who was more surprised, Bella or me. I expected a squeal of delight – that's usually Alice's reaction to a clothing store, but what I saw were two large tears rolling down Bella's cheeks. I momentarily worried that Bella would not enjoy this shopping trip until I noticed a huge grin spread across her lips.

"Oh, Edward, this is wonderful," she finally breathed. Then she turned and kissed me softly on the cheek. "Thank you," she added before she wandered off with a glazed look in her eyes.

I smiled as I watched her walk into the bowels of the store and become lost among the rows of books. I casually wandered over to a chair after retrieving a random book from one of the nearby shelves, and sat contentedly reading the book I had picked up.

Before Bella had finished her extended excursion through the store, I had read fifty of the books on a nearby shelf. Occasionally an attendant would come over to ask if I needed any help, but I just smiled politely, thanking him for offering, and then dismissed his assistance.

Bella finally approached me with a medium sized shopping bag. "Thank you Edward, this has been the best shopping trip ever, but please don't tell Alice I said that," she chuckled softly.

I rose from the chair, took her hand, and replied, "Your secret is safe with me, but let's hope she didn't have vision about this trip."

"Oh," Bella's smiled faded slightly, "I hadn't thought about that. Maybe I'll be lucky and she was too occupied with something else to see how much fun I was having." With her hand in mine, I relieved her of the shopping bag and escorted her out of the store. "What were Alice's plans for today?" She looked up at me expectantly.

"Jasper took her hunting," I replied with a large smile. I wasn't about to tell her that hunting had only been the first of Jasper's plans for Alice. Even a husband can grow tired of his wife constantly running off to shop, so after hunting, Jasper had extended plans for keeping Alice entertained.

"Maybe she was too busy then to see me enjoying myself," she chuckled softly.

"Possibly," I replied with my own soft laugh because I knew that Jasper's plans would have accomplished just that – kept Alice too busy to see anything but him. Then I asked, "Do you realize how long we were in that store?"

Bella looked up at me, and then gazed around at our setting. "Oh my, it's almost dark. What time is it?"

"Nearly seven o'clock."

"You need to get me home before dad sends out a search party," Bella declared.

"Not to worry, your mother is taking care of that."

"You told her where you were taking me," she accused.

"Of course I did. Your mother is my greatest ally where you are concerned. She knew you would lose track of time and said I should make sure you have a nice meal before bringing you home," I chuckled as I led her back to the car.

Bella laughed in reply, "I bet she didn't say any such thing."

"What do you want to bet?" I coaxed.

"If she didn't say that, I get to pick where we eat." She stated.

"Then you lose," I retorted as I opened the car door for her. "She said just that after I told her I was also taking you out to dinner."

"Cheater," she huffed, "You didn't mention she knew that."

"Not cheating, Bella, just omitting a few minor facts, and now I get to choose were you eat," I said just before shutting her door. I quickly placed the bag in the back seat before sliding into the driver's seat.

Despite the complaints, Bella ended up enjoying her meal. I had taken her to a French restaurant that Alice had suggested; along with the suggestion was Alice's comment that even though Bella would protest, she would still enjoy it.

March was a good month. Besides school, Bella and I took time to attend concerts, view art exhibits, and even picnic in the park. One particular sunny afternoon midway through the month, I discovered something Bella had been keeping from me. You would have thought with all that we had been through so far, Bella would never fear telling me anything, but this was something she felt would drive me away from her. As if anything could ever do that.

As I said, it was a bright sunny day, and Bella's mother had packed us a wonderful lunch, much of which we would throw away because I wouldn't eat any of it, and Bella couldn't eat it all on her own. After Bella finished eating, she noticed some children playing in the park. One of them was a little girl who was sitting forlornly on a swing. It seemed no one wanted to play with her, so Bella went over and asked the child if she could push her on the swing. One thing lead to another and Bella ended up spending most of the afternoon playing with the child. I sat contentedly on the blanket by the picnic basket and smiled as I watched Bella enjoying herself.

While I watched, I couldn't help but feel guilty about what Bella would be giving up by marrying me. There would be no children in our future, and from what I had been watching, I knew Bella would make a wonderful mother. The question was if Bella chose to have children, could I give her up. The honest answer was no; to give up Bella and allow her to walk out of my life would be like ripping out the heart of a living being. Bella had become my entire world, but without her, there would be no purpose in continuing my existence. Just the thought of losing Bella caused a deep ache inside of my chest, and I didn't really want to know how intense that pain would become if she really chose to leave me.

On the other side of those selfish thoughts was the idea that if Bella really wanted children, she would have to leave me and find someone human. Even though every atom in my body ached over the thought of losing her, I would sacrifice my happiness for hers. The more I watched her interact with the child, the more I realized I could not steal from her the one thing I would never be able to give her, and despite what happened in the Twilight world, vampire males cannot produce children because our bodies are dead, that means we do not create the means for fertilizing an egg. That part of our bodies is also dead. The only thing our bodies can produce is venom, and that is all.

Therefore, as I sat and watched, I contemplated the hardest choice I ever had to make in my lifeless existence.

**Ending Note – a big THANK YOU to my beta readers and to all of you kind readers who are willing to take a moment of time to review, comment, or point out errors for this story. Also a special thank you to Hyvanna who nominated this story for the best romance at http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com**


	49. Chapter 49 You'd do What!

**AN: I take no credit for the characters of Bella, Edward, or the Cullen family. With that said, let me say that I'm sorry this has taken so long, but it is now coming to the close of the school year and things are even busier than usual. I will try to post again in May, and then in June I will be incapacitated because of two surgeries I will have to undergo. Hopefully, after my second one, I will be able to spend a little time writing again before school starts in the fall. With that said, here is the next chapter.**

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Eight – You'd Do What! [1959]**

My mind rapidly played out the existence I was prepared sacrifice as I watched Bella approach me. The little girl's mother had arrived and taken her, supposedly home, after thanking Bella for playing with her daughter. Bella smiled while replying, "It was my pleasure."

'Her pleasure' I thought, 'should be playing with her own children. Can I steal that from her without confessing the truth about what she would forfeit by becoming one of us?'

I detested the idea of being noble and self-sacrificing, and part of me railed against such bereavement, while another part of me confirmed the validity of doing the right thing for Bella's sake. 'For Bella,' those were the key words. I don't think I could have uttered one word had it not been for those two words. Everything I chose to do – at least I always hoped that was my main motive – I did for Bella.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" I should have kick myself for asking such an obtuse question, but I knew I was evading the pain I knew would occur when she discarded me.

"Oh yes, that was fun." Her face shone from the flush of pleasure and exertion. "It seemed such a shame that no one else would play with her, but then boys at that age don't seem to like little girls," she explained with a wistful look on her face as she sat down beside me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked. I recognized that expression, and it revealed to me that she had either thought about something or remembered something. Once again, I regretted that I couldn't hear her thoughts, but my frustration was her relief; for whatever reason, she had thoughts that she really didn't want to share with me.

I could only guess that most people felt that way, but Bella was the only person free from my invasion. I just wished she trusted me and felt free to share everything she thought with me. Of course, I then realized that I did the same thing. I had thoughts that I felt were not right share with her, but it wasn't that I didn't trust her. Most of the time they were thoughts I knew would upset or hurt her, like my feelings of jealousy about Aleksey Kuchin, which she deemed irrational, or my reoccurring idea that I should allow her to live a normal life without me; that one I usually banished moments after thinking it, except for that particular moment in the park. I had to give her the option, but I wondered if she chose having children over me, would it hurt her as much as it would hurt me when she left?

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied while scrutinizing my face. "You seem to be in deep thought about something, although you are aptly more capable of thinking faster than me. Still, you have the look of someone who has deep, possibly troubling, thoughts racing through his mind."

"Fair enough," I offered, "I'll share with you if you'll share with me." I would force myself to share anyway because I wanted to give her free choice. Well, that was not exactly true, I didn't want to give her a choice of leaving me, but it was unfair, possibly even cruel, of me not to.

Bella moved closer to me before beginning. "Well, it wasn't much. I was just remembering a time when I was about five years old. I wanted to play with some other children, but I wasn't allowed to leave the yard. I could see the park across the street from my front yard, but my dad would not allow me to go by myself, and my mom always seemed busy with housework. One day I decided I would sneak over to the park anyway. It was easy really, and I was excited to see two boys about my age. I asked them if I could play with them, but they said, 'Boys don't play with girls cause they have cooties.' I went home in tears." Bella's look turned lost and wistful as she spoke about the rejection. "When mom heard me, she came out to see why I was crying, and I asked her what cooties were and if I had them. She laughed and said it was only a word, but then asked where I had heard it. I had to tell her about sneaking over to the park and about the boys." She smiled as she admitted her disobedience. "She wiped away my tears and told me she would play with me. I always remember that day because it was the first time my mother realized how lonely I was, and from then on she would take time to play with me. My mother must have felt the same way I did when I saw that little girl by herself with no one to play with. I wanted to share something special with her like my mother did with me." I could see the joy in her eyes as she shared those feelings with me, and I knew that she would choose children over me. She then turned her eyes on me and asked, "Okay, so what were you thinking?"

I felt a cold shudder rush through my body knowing this would be the hardest confessions I would ever make to her, but I decided I would begin with the truth. "Bella, what if I told you that I can't give you children?" I had looked down at her hands as I spoke, and I feared looking up at her reaction. I watched as she reached out a hand toward me, and then moved it up to my face so she could tilt my face up. I was tempted to close my eyes in dread of what I would see on her face, but Emmett's voice suddenly sounded in my mind saying, 'Be a man.' I almost scanned the area to see if he was in sight, but then I realized it was only a memory of his voice.

"Edward," she spoke softly, and I saw a slight smile play across her lips. "I already knew that."

"Alice." I didn't need to ask; it only figured that Alice would share all the negatives of this existence.

"No, Alice did not tell me; I asked Carlisle about this." She looked deeply into my eyes searching for something, but I had no idea what she was looking for. "Edward," she began hesitantly, "What if I had told you the same thing? Would it make a difference to you?"

"No, but it is not the same thing. There are others who could give you children; they could give you something I'm incapable of giving because of what I am." I reached out and caressed her cheek. Her face was so lovely, and the light played across her hair causing slight bronze highlights to blaze forth, and for one single moment, the sun shone in such a way, that it looked as if she had a halo behind her head. 'My angel,' I thought, for that was exactly how she looked.

"Would it make a difference to you, Edward, if I couldn't have children?" Her voice had taken on a slight tremor as the tone turned serious.

I knew she was trying to make some point, but I wasn't sure what it was. "Why do you ask?"

"Edward, if our roles were reversed, and you were the human and I wasn't, and I told you that I couldn't give you children, would that matter to you?" She fixed her gaze on me causing my eyes to lock on hers.

"No Bella," I surprisingly replied in all honesty, "It would not matter to me at all." Her eyes watched me digging into mine seeking the truth of my answer. I could tell it was important to her, and I felt there was more behind this than I saw at the moment, but the question had surprised me. I had never thought of our situations being reversed. 'Maybe,' I thought, 'she wants me to see this from her point of view.'

"Why wouldn't it matter Edward? As a human, wouldn't children be something you wanted?"

I hadn't expected that line of questioning at all. "Bella, I haven't been human for a long time, and I have become accustomed to the fact that I'm incapable of fathering children."

"Think beyond that Edward. Put yourself in my place, and tell me truthfully how you would feel."

She did want me to look at it from her point of view I realized. It had never occurred to me to look at things from her perspective before [okay, I know that appears dense of me, but it really had never occurred to me that I needed to see from her perspective in order to understand her]. At the time, I had to ask myself could I see this from her side of the issue. If I were human, would I care if Bella and I could not have children if she were the one incapable of having them? It took all of two seconds to know my answer.

"Bella, it really would not matter to me because you are more important to me than anyone else, even any children I might sire." Saying that made me begin to comprehend that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way.

"Why am I important to you?"

Staring into her eyes I questioned how she could ask that. Didn't she see my love for her; didn't she see how important she was to me? Then I remembered something Esme once told me. 'Edward, a woman wants to be told that she is loved not just shown,' it was something she said one day when I asked why Carlisle would say 'I love you' so often. At the time, I had thought that she didn't believe him, even though her thoughts seem to tell a contrary story.

I decided I would tell Bella just how I felt about her; I would take Esme's advice. "I cherish you Bella; the 'you' inside, not your outside, not what you look like, but who you are inside. That is the Bella I love and cherish. If you were the vampire and I was the human, I would still feel the same way."

"And with me as the human, do you still feel the same way?" Her eyes glistened as a touch of moisture began to form in them.

I didn't want to make her cry; I didn't want to push her away from me. "I love you Bella, with all my heart. Even as a human, I still love the 'you' inside. All your scars and imperfections are not who you are; your extraordinary pull to all things dangerous is not who you are; they are part of you but not you. Please understand Bella, I fell in love with you," as I spoke, tears slowly slid down Bella's alabaster cheeks but I couldn't stop until I told her exactly how I felt, "the caring, selfless, giving person that is the real you. You always think of the other person first and yourself last. Even now, you are willing to sacrifice your humanness to be with me, and you are even willing to sacrifice a normal life to make me happy. But just for a moment, think of what you want rather than what I want, and tell me if you really want to give up everything you know and all those you care about to be with me forever." If I had a beating heart, it would be thumping loudly trying to break out of my chest; it was probably a good thing my heart didn't beat or its thunderous pounding to escape my chest would have told Bella how much I feared rejection by her.

Without speaking one single word and tears still streaming down her cheeks, Bella pulled the chain from around her neck bringing forth her engagement ring. Then she removed the chain, unclasped it, and slipped the ring off the chain. My eyes never left her hands as I watched her every move – it was as if time had slowed down, and I would never have suspected time to move so slowly for a vampire. She then lifted the ring up causing my eyes to follow it, and she stopped her hand when we were face to face; then she smiled as she ever so slowly held out her free hand and moved the ring toward it, and finally slipped the ring on her finger. Then she leaned toward me and in a whisper said, "Forever Edward."

Her lips were only inches from mine, and I allowed temptation free reign as I leaned in and kissed her. Gently at first, but them my arms reached out and pulled her closer, and I deepened the kiss still being careful not to allow any contact of my teeth to her skin. I would not, could not allow myself to change her before the right time, and now was not the right time. That fact, however, didn't stop me from wanting her even more than I wanted her before. She was giving up children and a human life for me, and I knew her love was greater than mine because I was not giving up anything for her except my heart, and without her I wouldn't want a heart. The pain of such a loss would crush me in a way no other vampire or other supernatural being could ever crush me. Emmett had been right when he said your true love holds your entire essence in their hands, and you are forever after at their mercy, but being at Bella's mercy was more of a heaven than anything else I could compare it to.

I would have gladly allowed the kiss to last until the last ray of sun slid below the horizon, but it was Bella who slowly pulled away from me.

When I opened my eyes to feast upon her beautiful face, I noticed she had averted her eyes onto an indeterminate space between us.

"Edward," her voice was barley as whisper. "I have a confession to make, but you have to understand why I haven't shared this with you yet." She looked up at me for a fraction of a second before averting her eyes once again. "To me, it doesn't matter about children and not because you cannot father them. It's me who can never have children, not even if I decided to remain human."

I reached out and tipped her chin up so I could see her lovely eyes, but in them I also saw the reflection of alarm. "Are you afraid of me Bella?" I asked softly.

"In a way," she replied, still in something less than a whisper.

"Bella, you are my life. Nothing you say to me will ever make me love you less. Even if you asked me to let you go, I would still love you even as I allowed you to leave me."

"You'd do what?" I wanted a reaction, but not quiet that one. The fright intensified in her eyes and I felt as if I had hit her with my words in a way I never meant to.

It was my duty, I decided, to clarify my meaning. "Bella, if you told me you had changed your mind and didn't want to stay with me, I would let you go because it is what you would want, but I would still love you. My love for you will never change."

"I never want to let you go, but I haven't been completely honest with you. Maybe you don't want someone who holds back important information about herself, who is afraid to share some secrets with you because you might reject her because of them." The tears flowing this time were not because of joy but because of a sense of impending doom. I'm not sure how I knew that, but for one split second, it was almost as if I had a quick look inside of her mind.

I cupped her face in my hands and leaned in close enough so our foreheads touched, "I cherish you more than any world I could live in. You are my universe, and without you I might as well fall into a black hole. If you feel you need to keep a few secrets, I can respect that knowing that when you feel it is time to share them you will. I don't ever want you to be afraid of sharing anything with me no matter how terrible it might seem to you, but I also do not want you to thinking I will hold it against you if you decide you need to keep something secret for awhile, or even forever. I love you Bella."

"Sometimes I think you are too good to me," she murmured, and before she could say more I gently kissed her lips.

"Never, in reality it is you who are too good for me, and I'm sure Emmett would be more than happy to concur."

Her laugh was priceless; it wasn't loud or long, but it was a laugh that seemed to help her recover from her fear.

"Mom has encouraged me numerous times to tell you about something that happened to me shortly after the bull gored me at the fair. I've been afraid because . . . well, maybe if I tell you the story it will help you to understand my hesitation about sharing this." She stared at me as if she were searching for my reaction to the secret she was yet to reveal. "You do have to promise one thing though."

I maintained my smile; I was not about to make her doubt my honestly or sincerity. "Anything you ask," I assured her.

"Allow me to tell the entire story without interruption, and then please, don't tell me how sorry you are about it happening. I can assure you that I have learned to live with this and I really do not want your sympathy." It was amazing how revealing her eyes were when she allowed them to be. I could see in them fear, dread, despair, and a slight glimmer of hope, which implied, to me, that whatever she had to say was definitely essential for me to hear and accept.

How could I answer otherwise, "I promise."

"Oh, there is one other little thing," she shied away from gazing into my eyes and focused on some imaginary spot on the blanket upon which we sat. "You have to promise to be honest with whatever answer you give me."

"Bella," I reached out my hand to gently lift her head so I could see her face. I wanted to say that I was always honest with her, but I knew that wasn't completely true. Just as she had hidden some things from me, I too had hidden a few things from her, and I still hadn't told her everything she needed to know before she underwent her change. Instead, I replied, "I promise to be honest."

"Okay, so I told you about the bull and that it gored me, and the doctor kept me in the hospital a few days for observation and tests. One of those tests was a battery of x-rays to make certain that no damage had occurred internally. I think they did six different shots before they finished, and then it took a few days to develop them. Mom, I think, was slightly more patient than dad about the entire ordeal. He just wanted to take me home, but mom wanted to see the results for extra assurance that everything was okay. As it turned out, the incident with the bull did no internal damage, but the x-rays did reveal something else. It seems, unbeknownst to any doctor I had seen up to that date, I had a growth inside of me, and as the doctor said, this accident was a kind of blessing in disguise, which didn't sit well with my dad. Anyway, if it hadn't been for the accident, no doctor would have thought about taking x-rays and the spot might not have been found until it was too late because the spot turned out to be a tumor. Fortunately, the doctor caught it soon enough that one operation removed the entire infected tissue. The unfortunate part was the location of the tumor which later turned out to be diagnosed as gynecologic cancer. I'm hoping with Carlisle as a father, you understand what I'm saying." Because I promised not to interrupt, I just nodded my head. "Then you understand that even if you could, I cannot have children. It is something I have learned to accept, but my fear is that because of what I no longer have, you will see me as less of a woman when the time comes for us to be married. Maybe this will make a difference to you. Maybe I won't be whole enough for you."

Her eyes move away from mine again, and focused on the spot on front of her on the blanket. I wanted to chuckle at her comment, but knew she would misunderstand, so I waited until she would allow me to speak.

"I will understand if you change your mind about me. My mom says it makes no difference, but I could never be sure of that. It is the one thing I have feared since you first kissed me." She finally looked up at me and pent up resignation of rejections was clearly visible in her deep liquid eyes. "Please, Edward, give me your honest answer. Do you still want someone as damaged as me?"

I felt words could never express my feelings deeply enough, so I took her hand with the engagement ring still encircling her daintily finger and raised it to my lips. I first kissed the tip of her finger, and then the ring. Next, I pulled her slowly toward me until our lips were parallel to each other, and then I kissed her gently, softly, and deeply putting as much emotion in the kiss as possible without losing focus on the fact that Bella was still breakable, and at that moment breakable in more ways than one.

When I finally released her lips, I placed my finger on them so I could talk. "Bella, you must know I love you more than . . . well, I can't say my life or the air I breathe because neither is true for me, but you have to know that my love transcends human words. As for you being broken, it is only you who sees yourself as broken. I see you as perfect; the only thing I will ever consider changing about you is your human existence. I want you to be one of us; I don't ever want to lose you. If we compare what broken really means, it will be me if I ever lose you whether it is from your choice or because I somehow scare you away; then I will be broken, and I will not be fixable. You see, my dearest most precious one, you are part of me now; if you leave for any reason, you will be taking a large part of me with you. It is as if my entire being is entwined with yours and to rip yourself away from me will be to rip me apart as well. Can you understand that?"

Bella simply nodded as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Please, Bella, I didn't mean to make you cry," I pleaded. I felt guilty every time I said or did something that caused tears to roll down her lovely rose tinted cheeks. I stared into her face a long time before she finally spoke, but as I looked I analyzed every feature of her face that I cherished. Because she kept her hair pulled back from her face, it appeared as if she had a slightly high forehead, but it also set off her arched eyebrows.

I had once heard a number of girls talking about how they pluck their eyebrows to make them thinner, and as a result I noticed that it was easy to tell which girls did just that. Their pores looked different and they also appeared redder a few days after hair had forcefully been ripped out. I quickly learned that Bella's eyebrows were naturally thin.

Her eyebrows covered large brown eyes, but the brown wasn't that dark brown that would easily look muddy. Instead, her eyes were more of a milk chocolate color, almost a caramel brown but just slightly richer looking, and as I've said before, her eyes were both expressive and penetrating. In fact, I had noticed that when Bella looked intently at me, as if to see within me, her eyes darkened just slightly, and she shaded them with her eyelids by a mere fraction. Bella's eyes also made her smile more effective. When Bella was extremely happy, she had grin that covered almost half her face, and her eyes lit up in an unusual manner. I once commented to Alice that it looked like a special light shone out of her eyes when she was happy, and Alice just smiled wordlessly at my comment, but within her mind she said, 'He's finally noticing how special our Bella really is.'

Bella's mouth was the first feature that always attracted my eyes. Her lips seemed perfectly shaped for kissing, and they always seem to have a slight reddish tint to them, and then, Bella had this habit of licking them make them even more noticeable. That slight wet look seemed to make her lips shine more, and all I could think about at that instant in time was how wonderful it would be kissing them, and generally that was what I would do. Unfortunately, I didn't always consider the audience that might be observing. Around family, I had no problems. I had witnessed them enough times that I felt it was only fair that if they didn't want to see us kissing, then they could be the ones who left the room for a change. At school and in public, however, a different kind of audience appeared. At school, teachers and administrators frowned upon student's kissing in the hallway. It took me a few months to learn to pull Bella into a hall closet or an empty room at school before allowing my lips to enjoy the heady taste of hers. In public, I had to learn to scan the vicinity for children or disapproving adults before ravishing her lips with mine. Bella's lips have always been a weakness for me, and I still enjoy kissing them and her, but now I don't have to be careful about how much passion I put into kissing her, and my teeth are no longer a danger to her.

Between her gorgeous eyes and sensual lips lay her nose. She has an interesting nose, but if one didn't take the time to really look at it, it would be lost because of the other two focal features. Her nose was just large enough to serve its purpose but small enough so as not to attract undue attention. It was also slightly turned up at the end, again, not much but just enough to make it interesting in its own right. Bella had a fascinating, at least for me, habit of scrunching her nose up when she smelled something distasteful; I notice the scrunched up effect for the first time in the school cafeteria when the cooks served sauerkraut for lunch. It was obviously not a food Bella enjoyed. Later, I also noticed she did the same thing when she smelled blood.

Bella's overall face was not the typical heart-shaped one, but her chin did have a slight hint of narrowness when compared to the average round or oval face. Her chin seemed perfectly designed for her face, but I did begin to notice that when she became stubborn about something, she would purse her lips and thrust out her chin but ever so slightly that the normal human eye might not even notice it. This slight narrowness seemed to add to the effect of her lips; it made them seem slightly larger than they really were, but it didn't mar her looks in anyway. In fact, it actually had the opposite effect – maybe that was why I always wanted to kiss them.

Studying Bella's face took only seconds, but it entertained my mind while I awaited Bella's response to my apology. It was her mouth that responded first by smiling at me, and then she said, "That was beautiful Edward, and my tears are a result of how your words have touched my heart. I do agree with you about our essences being intertwined because I feel that same way about you leaving me. If it ever happened, I too would be figuratively torn in half, and I don't think I would survive the pain. I'm also glad you don't see me as broken, but I have a hunch that many human males would see just that and would never want me for a wife." Her smiled widened and her eyes lit up more as she chuckled softly, "Maybe it's a good thing I fell in love with someone who was just as broken in the baby-making category as I am."

Instead of saying anything about her observation, I kissed her, deciding the kiss would make an excellent conclusion to our conversation. Some famous author should have said 'a kiss is worth a thousand words,' because that one definitely was.


	50. Chapter 50 Out Like A Lion

_**AN: Once again, I relinquish all claims to the Cullen family and to Bella Swan to Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**I also apologize for the delay, but know that I have two chapters after this one completed, and two more halfway finished with only one between those two that has to be written. I mention this because in the next 4 weeks I have to undergo two surgeries, but I'm hoping to still be able to post the completed chapters about a week apart while working on the other three.**_

_**Also, this story and a few others have been nominated for awards. You can vote for "Hunger" at silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com and "Siren Blood" and a few other at bringmetolifeawards(dot)weebly(dot)com(backslash)index(dot)html – although voting has not started at Bring Me To Life Awards yet; that site is still taking nominations. Voting is good, and I hope you will take to time to recognize at least this story when the voting opens up. Thanks for all the kind reviews, and I try to answer all of them as quickly as possible.**_

_**Now, on with the narrative.**_

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**Journal Entry Thirty-Nine – Out Like a Lion [March 1959]**

The old saying is that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, but not in 1959. We experienced extremely warm, mild weather that March, more than normal in fact, until the last week of the month.

Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and I had planned to go hunting on the last Thursday of the month because of the sunny conditions, and how Alice missed the sudden change in the weather, I'm not sure. She was always the best weather forecaster and never made a mistake, but she completely missed the fluke storm that rolled in that day we left to go hunting.

I had driven Bella to school in the morning, and she had said she would ride the bus home after school so I wouldn't have to worry about her. That was the plan, but the plan failed when Bella missed the bus, so she began the mile and half walk home. She had only gone two blocks when the sky opened up and poured down icy rain on her insufficiently clad body. Weather predictions for the day had continued with unseasonably warm weather, so Bella had only worn a light jacket to school. By the time Bella reached home, she was drenched and sneezing. Her mother was quick to make Bella strip off her wet clothes and climb into a hot tub of water.

We had not arrived back home until an hour before school, so when I called to pick Bella up on Friday, her mother told me she was keeping Bella home because she wasn't feeling well. I ended up not seeing Bella until that evening after every one retired for the night. Bella continued to reassure me she was fine, but she felt slightly feverish all throughout the night. I did notice that she pulled herself as close as possible to me, and wrapped not only her arms around me but also her legs. Then just before I left her in the morning, I kissed her forehead to gauge the seriousness of her fever. I still only found it slightly above normal, but she never once seemed to shiver during the night while being so close to me.

Saturday was a pre-planned girl's day between Bella and Alice, but Bella's mother almost kept Bella home. Alice and I had both arrived at Bella's house around mid-morning and we could hear Bella persuading her mother that she was well enough attend the sleep over with Alice.

"Mom, it's only a cold," emphasized by a sneeze and then her nasally voice continued, "I'm okay, really I am. Besides, Alice says she has a new way she wants to fix my hair. I think she wants to put curls in it."

"Not a permanent, Bella, you know what your father would say about that."

"Yes, I am well aware of his opinion on those. I'll never forget how he yelled when you had one done on your hair." I heard her sneeze again and then blow her nose.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay. You look flushed."

"Mom, I'm fine, and anyway, if I should feel worse, I'll ask Dr. Cullen to look at me. He is my doctor," and she sneezed again. "Besides, it's just a cold, like I said."

"Alright, but I'm sure if your father were here, he would declare you bed ridden."

"Where is he anyway?" Bella coughed this time, then sneezed, and blew her nose.

Her mother was right; she did sound worse than she was letting on. Her cough was congested, and I suspected the cold had begun to settle in her chest. Whether she liked it or not, Carlisle was going to see her before Alice did any make-over work on her.

Alice had skipped ahead of me to ring the door bell, but I was standing right behind her when Mrs. Swan opened the door.

"Good morning, Mrs. Swan," Alice chimed with a huge smile on her face. "Is Bella ready? I have a new outfit I want her to try on, and we have to begin planning her dress for the prom."

Mrs. Swan laughed as she held open the door, "I swear child, I've never seen anyone more clothes conscious than you, and the prom is more than two months away."

"You can never be too prepared," Alice replied as she waltzed gracefully through the door with me almost on her heals.

"No one will ever dampen Alice's joy of dressing everyone up," Bella noted as Alice gave her a hug.

"I'm very sure of that," her mother replied smiling first at Alice and then me. "Edward, if she seems to get worse, please make sure she sees your father. I'm not sure I should let her out with this cold she has, but I also don't want to seem overly protective."

I smiled at her mother as I replied, "I can assure you Mrs. Swan, that I will have Carlisle check her over whether she gets worse or not."

I watched Bella stick out her lip slightly in a pout as she said, "Worry wart," but then she smiled and I knew I hadn't upset her with my comment.

"Thank you," her mother replied to me. "Your father will be home late Tuesday night, so you go and have a good weekend." She embraced Bella as she added, "I will see you sometime Sunday evening."

"Thanks mom," Bella replied as she hugged her mother back.

Then Alice picked up Bella's bag, linked her arm through Bella's, and said, "We'll take good care of her Mrs. Swan, and Esme will make sure she has lots of chicken soup."

"And Carlisle will give her anything else she might need, medically speaking," I added causing Mrs. Swan to laugh.

"I'm sure that Bella couldn't be in safer hands, and please call, Bella, if you need anything." Her comment caused me to realize that she really meant what she said about believing Bella was safe around us, and yet I wonder how she could feel that way if she really knew we were vampires. Then I wondered how she would react if she understood how tempting Bella's blood had been for me only a year ago, or how I had actually stolen into their house to taste Bella's blood while everyone was asleep. Would her mother still think that Bella was safe around my family? And even less safe around me if she knew the truth?

"I will, and thanks again mom," she replied as Alice began to usher her out the door.

As I turned to go, Mrs. Swan laid a hand on my arm and whispered, "Please have your father look at her. I know she is worse than she will admit."

Seeing the concern in her face, I replied in a whisper, "I will. Don't worry." I'm not sure why I added the last, but I did. Usually Bella's mother was the last one to worry about her, but this time I could read the doubt in her face about Bella's reassurances, and since Bella's mother was my biggest supporter, I was not going to let her down.

As soon as we arrived home, Alice whisked Bella up to her room, and I called Carlisle, who was doing extra duty for another doctor who wanted a little time to spend with his family. I explained to him about Bella's cold and about her mother's concerns.

"Is her cough deep or shallow?" He asked.

"Deep with a slight rattling, and she appears slightly flushed," I informed him.

"She's probably running a fever. Did you notice anything else different about her?"

"Besides the cough and flush, I didn't know what else to look for," I told him.

"Remember your medical studies, and some of what I shared about detecting symptoms using your other senses. If she is running a fever, just your hand near her face will let you gauge roughly how much above normal it might be, and with a fever might come an infection which puts off a distinct odor. These are things you can use your senses to discover. I should be home mid-afternoon and then I'll give her a check up, but if you notice anything else, call me."

Carlisle was right; I needed to uses my senses with Bella because she was not going to admit if she was sick. Bella hated being ill and she kept it to herself when she really was sick. I would just have to stay close and monitor her. Carlisle was also right about my medical training; I needed to put it to practice. It was not like I had forgotten what had I learned, but I didn't always put it into practice when it came to Bella.

After I hung up the phone, I walked up to Alice's room while tuning into their conversation.

"Not again Alice; I've tried that dress on five times already. You can't seriously expect me to believe you haven't finished it yet," Bella's voice seemed more nasally than when we picked her up.

"It only needs a few minor alterations, Bella. I want it to be perfect for both of you. Don't you want to be the prettiest girl on the dance floor?" Alice chided.

"Rose and you are attending, right?" She asked.

"We wouldn't miss it," Alice laughed softly.

"Then I don't have any hope of being the prettiest girl at the dance because I'll never reach the standard of beauty set by Rose and you." Bella began coughing then and I noticed the cough's sound had a more pronounced rattle in her chest.

I knocked on the door knowing if I entered without permission Alice was likely to rip off one of my body parts to express the extent of her anger.

"Go away Edward. I'm not done yet, and you cannot see this dress until the night of the prom," Alice retorted.

"I know that Alice, but I'm concerned about Bella's cough. Does she have a fever?" I asked calmly refraining from biting back at her comment.

She must have moved closer or touched Bella because it took a moment before she replied, "Yes, I believe she does. Have you talked to Carlisle?"

"Yes, he said to monitor her condition and call him if it seems to get worse," I informed her.

"I hate it when you two talk about me like I'm not here. Edward, I'm fine. Go read a book or listen to some music, and I'll join you when Madame Dior is finally finished with torturing me."

"Bella . . ."

"Go Edward, I'm fine, and if I'm not, Alice will be the first to call you." Bella's tone was firm and I knew it would not pay to argue with her but I could not help but be concerned as I heard her coughing again as I walked away.

Just to help pass the time and avoid eavesdropping on Alice and Bella, I put in the "William Tell Overture" and made sure the volume was loud enough to drown out audible voices. I must have played the entire record but never really noticed what was playing because I could not take my mind off Bella. I recalled how flushed she looked when we picked her up, the raspy sound I heard as she breathed, and the deep cough that sounded like there might be some fluid in her lungs. It took everything within me not to rush down to Alice's room and whisk Bella over to the hospital to see Carlisle.

What finally pulled me back to awareness was Emmett rushing in the room yelling, "Edward, Alice needs you now."

That was one time when I did not monitor my movements to stay at human speed. Before Emmett could make any other comment, I was opening Alice's door.

"Didn't you hear me Edward? I've been calling for five minutes." Alice was sitting next to Bella who was laid out on Alice's bed.

"What happened?" I first noticed how pale Bella looked, and then heard her labored breathing.

"Said she didn't feel well, and then passed out. I caught her before she hit the floor, but Edward, she is burning up. I didn't notice it until I caught her, and I have already called Carlisle. He should be here any minute. I called you, but you never came. Emmett heard me, so I sent him to get you. What have you been doing?" The amount of concern in her voice was extremely evident, and as she spoke I approached the bed.

Even as she relayed Bella's symptoms, I could both see and feel the evidence of them. Just one touch told me Bella was running a dangerously high fever, and every breath she took verified my suspicions that there was fluid in her lungs.

Before I could do anything else, Carlisle walked through the door with his bag in his hand. With extremely efficiency and calm, he said, "Edward, I think you should leave while I examine Bella. Alice, please stay, I may need your help."

As I turned to leave, Alice laid her hand on my arm saying, "She will be okay. Carlisle is here now."

It wasn't much comfort, but it was all I had. I didn't make it further than the hallway where I just stood and waited. Patience had never been a problem for me before Bella. When you have all the time imaginable, it is easy to wait for things to happen, but Bella brought the factor of time back into my life in a way I never imagine possible. I might have all the time I needed, but Bella's time was limited, and whenever she was injured or sick, that reality slapped me in the face. I knew it was too soon to turn her; age was always an issue – too young and it could turn out poorly. I also had the issue of her father. Turning her now would mean she would have to continue living at home, but waiting until she was eighteen was actually becoming stressful for me.

Had anyone ever told me stress would play a major role in my life, I would have laughed at them. What did a vampire need to stress over unless he was a renegade of some type? Well, I learned the hard way that there are circumstances where even vampires face stress, and mine all revolved around Bella. Of course, my entire existence now revolved around Bella so all my desire, concern, love, jealousy, passion, lust, need, want, and even emotional stress were tied directly to her. I was like a flower whose roots were deeply embedded in Bella soil, and to rip those roots from that fertile ground would not only be excruciatingly painful but also fatal.

The worst part about waiting in the hallway was hearing movement on the other side of the door, but no one spoke. Carlisle's thoughts revolved around readings he took. Bella's temperature was 103.1 degrees – too high I knew, her blood pressure was 100 over 60 – too low, and her pulse was 125 – too rapid. He also noted the wheezing as she breathed and could hear the fluid in her lungs as he listened to her respiration. Alice's thoughts were all about how pale she looked and how shallow and labored her breathing was. She was also chastising herself for not calling Carlisle sooner and requesting him to come home for Bella, but then she remembered how Bella kept say that she was okay and they shouldn't bother Carlisle while he was at work.

I couldn't make myself upset with Alice because I was feeling the same way. I should have monitored how Bella was doing rather than becoming lost in my music and thoughts like I had. I should have demanded that Bella see Carlisle first – I caught myself on that thought and realized how much that thought made me sound like her father. It wasn't that either of us would have been wrong since Bella really was sick, it was just that the thought of forcing her to do something was the wrong way to go about doing anything were Bella was concerned. I won't deny that I'm over protective when it comes to Bella, but fear was a major motivator.

When a vampire finally finds their soul mate, the only person they will ever love for all eternity, that person becomes the only important element in one's existence. I would compare the loss of that beloved to the annihilation of the earth if the sun was to die – all existence would cease utterly.

"Edward," so wrapped up in my thought was I that I missed Carlisle opening the door, "As soon as Alice has finished changing Bella into some night clothes, I want you to carry her up to your room. We need to bring her temperature down, and even though an ice bath is customary, I think you'll do just as well. You'll have to remove your shirt and pants, and Alice has a pair of pajama bottoms for you," Carlisle must have noticed a look on my face because he added, "Don't ask because you really don't want to know, but once you have them on, then you are to lay down next to Bella as close as possible. Your coldness should help bring her fever down some. I'm going downstairs to call her mother."

"Carlisle, what is wrong?" It seemed the one thing he wasn't thinking about. He was more concerned at that moment what he was going to tell Bella's mother.

"She has bronchitis and if we are not careful, it will turn into pneumonia. How did she get sick so fast?" It was possibly the last question I expected from him since he was the medical professional. "Normally it takes a week or so for it to advance to this point. When did she first begin coughing?"

"Thursday, she walked home in the icy rain because she missed the bus. Her mother kept her home yesterday, so I didn't see her until last night. She was coughing and sneezing some, but she hadn't sounded this bad." It had been a long day and even longer night before I had returned to Bella's side, but Bella had encouraged me to go on this hunting trip and said I needed to replenish my nutrients. She also laughed as she said I needed to spend some quality time with my siblings since I had been ignoring them lately. Even Emmett laughed when I had relayed her comments to them while we had been hunting.

"She shouldn't have gotten so sick this quickly," he muttered as he walked off, and before I could stop to ask more questions, Alice opened the bedroom door.

"She's ready Edward, and these are for you. I don't want them back," and she thrust out a pair of pajama pants with little heart designs on them. "Come on, you need to move her quickly and begin to bring her temperature down."

I followed Alice into the room but stopped just inside the door as I caught sight of Bella. I had never seen her dress in so little ever before. Bella always wore long nightgowns at night, and during the day she was always dressed properly, but this, well it seemed rather indecent.

"What?" Alice asked as she noticed me standing and staring at Bella.

"Shouldn't you put something less revealing on her?" I asked as my eyes selfishly raked up and down her gorgeous but scantily clad body.

"Why, you don't like what you see?" Alice chuckled.

"Alice, she's almost naked," I retorted in shock at her comment.

"Edward, what she is wearing is actually considered proper for sleeping in. It's called baby-doll pajamas and most teenage girls are wearing them. I realize Bella wears less revealing gowns when she is around you, but this is very acceptable sleepwear. Besides, Carlisle wanted as much skin exposed as decently possible because your skin needs to touch hers to help draw the fever out of her body. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of lying next to her like that, I think I can get Emmett to agree to lay in bed with her. It wouldn't be the first time that he helped bring her fever down."

"No," I growled quickly. Emmett was not allowed that close to my fiancée dressed, or undressed as she was. My growl only caused Alice to chuckle again, and instead of waiting for any more comments from her, I walked over, lifted Bella gently from the bed, and swiftly moved her to my room. I gently laid her on my bed and then made a hasty retreat to the bathroom to change my clothes.

As I changed, my mind wandered back to Bella. Her arms were completely bare and her legs were mostly bare. I had felt almost that much of her legs once but I had never seen that much bare skin before. Even the little top only covered to her hips. What was Alice thinking to put her in something so revealing and requiring me to lay with her? My mind was reeling at the implication, not to mention how my body seemed to be reacting to what I had seen.

"Edward, get a grip, Bella is sick and she needs you," I heard Alice through the door, but the fact that she knew what I was thinking was slightly unnerving. "Come out here," she ordered.

For someone so small, she had a commanding voice, and without hesitating, I obeyed.

"Look, because her fever is so high, you need as much close contact with her as possible. Carlisle says you need to help bring the fever down quickly. At the same time, you are going to need to get her to drink as much fluid as possible so she doesn't run the risk of dehydrating. Emmett is on his way up with a glass of something. Now focus on what Bella needs."

She had issued her orders, and I realized, somewhat shamefully, that she was correct. Bella came first, so I walked over to the bed, pulled the covers down, slip Bella under them but only covered her with a sheet before lying down next to her, and then I pulled the rest of the covers over both of us.

"This looks cozy," Emmett chuckled moments later as he walked into the room.

I only growled softly in response.

"Now, now Edward, be nice. I brought Bella a tall glass of Kool-Aid," he reprimanded.

"Well, take it back and bring her a glass of apple juice," I retorted.

"No, she likes cherry Kool-Aid better," he replied walking toward the bed.

"I said apple juice, Emmett. It's what she always gets in the morning for breakfast."

"That's breakfast, but the rest of the time she drinks Kool-Aid. I would think you would know your fiancée better by know."

"I do, and she prefers apple juice." Since I couldn't bite him any other way, I used my tone of voice to bite him.

He only chuckled and challenged, "Wanna bet?"

My response was a deep growl; he was definitely trying my patience.

"Afraid I'll prove I know Bella better than you do?" He taunted, and I was stupid enough that I took the bait.

"Okay, go get the glass of apple juice and I'll prove I'm right," I snapped.

It took Emmett less time to get the second glass than it did for me to set Bella slightly up in the bed resting her against me, but enough time for me to wonder if he could be correct.

"Here," he held out both glasses after I had Bella comfortably positioned, "See which she will like better."

I smiled smugly as I took the glass with the apple juice and held it to Bella's mouth. "Bella, honey, please drink this," I coaxed softly. She began to take a little sip and then simply pushed the glass away.

Emmett held out the other to me, but before I could take he said, "If I win, I get to take Bella for one day and entertain her in any way that pleases her."

I didn't like that option, so I stipulated, "But it cannot include anything that is dangerous."

"Define dangerous," he said.

"Anything that might be harmful to her," I clarified.

"Edward, everything is potentially harmful to her, but what is life without risks."

He did have a point; even an innocent day in the park could result in cuts, scraps, bruise, and bumps where Bella was concerned. "Okay, nothing death-defying," I replied.

"What do you classify as death-defying?" He asked.

"Sky diving," I blurted out. I wasn't even sure where that thought came from, but once uttered, I couldn't retract it.

"Edward, hundreds of people sky-dive every day and nothing fatal happens to them. Why would Bella be any different?"

Where Bella was concerned, my thought process did not always follow logical or normal patterns, which was evident that day when I blurted out, "Her parachute wouldn't open," which caused Emmett to laugh heartily.

"Edward, I'd be with her and if that happened, I'd just make sure I was near enough to grab her and then my parachute would float us both safely down to the ground."

"Yours would fail to open also," I was illogically seizing upon nonexistent explanations to prove my point but I knew I was failing miserably.

"If it makes you happy, Edward, I'll promise not to take her sky-diving. Beside, Bella once told me the idea scared her and even flying in a plane makes her nauseous when she thinks about it," he silently laughed at me as he spoke. "Now, before you say anything else, remember this is about Bella not about you."

He was right, he seemed to understand that I was thinking about my desires of protection rather than Bella's desires to be allowed to makeup her own mind, so instead of saying anything else, I snatched the glass from his hand and held it to Bella's lips. "Please, Bella, drink this."

This time, her sip turned into gulps as she began to drink. I had to tip the glass to her lips a few times before she finished the glass, but when she was done, she whispered softly, "That was delicious. More please."

Emmett only chuckled as he said, "I'll bring the pitcher up," and then he left the room.

I realized it had been stupid to agree to the bet, but I never reneged on a bet in my life, and I wasn't about to this time even though I dreaded what the two of them would do with an entire afternoon to themselves. Maybe Rose would help me stop them from spending that much time together; at least, I decided, it wouldn't hurt to ask her.

"Edward," Emmett said as he rushed through the door with the glass of Kool-Aide, "Bella's mother is here to see her."

I could hear her coming up the steps, and my first thought was I couldn't allow her to see me in bed with Bella, but as I tried to pull away from Bella, her arms wrapped tightly around me.

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	51. Chapter 51 Caught In Bed

**AN: These characters, with the exception of Bella's mom, are all the soul property of Stephenie Meyer. I hope you will enjoy this chapter.**

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Journal Entry Forty – Caught in Bed [1959]**

As I tried to pull away from Bella, she moaned softly, "No . . . cool . . . nice . . . stay," and I hesitated wanting to do what was best for her. My indecision caused me to move too slowly, and before I could move out of the bed, Mrs. Swan walked through the door.

"I see you have Bella's favorite drink," she said as she walked up to Emmett and pointed to the pitcher he was holding. "You're Emmett. You brought Bella home the last time she was sick." She smiled broadly before adding, "Bella has told me a lot about you."

"I deny it all," Emmett chuckled softly.

"Humor, then Bella is going to be okay," she replied in a soft tone.

"Yes, ma'am, Carlisle would be here himself if he thought otherwise."

"I see," she replied, and then she looked over at me lying beside Bella.

"It's not what it seems," I said quickly.

"I know Edward, Carlisle said you were up here with Bella and that she needed you beside her because of her fever. I don't believe you would do anything to jeopardize her health Edward."

Emmett chuckled again as he walked over and set the pitcher of Kool-Aid on the nightstand. "I'll leave this here, but make sure she drinks all of it, and when you need more, just let me know," he said. "I'll be in my room with Rose."

"Emmett," Mrs. Swan touched him arm, "Thank you for being the brother that Bella never had, and I hope she isn't too much of a problem for you."

"I beg your pardon ma'am?" Emmett's confusion actually reflected mine since I didn't comprehend her meaning anymore than Emmett did.

She chuckled softly as she said, "I know that Bella has an ability to know who will do her bidding, and she knows how to ask so that you can't refuse her. I've seen her do it to her Uncle Peter, and he admitted later that he had meant to refuse her but he couldn't."

"I once had a little sister who was the same way, but I don't mind because Bella is just like the sister I lost," Emmett admitted.

"I'm glad you see her that way. She needs a big brother to look out for her especially when she's being . . . 'reckless,' shall I say. I know you will be able to reign in some of her more adventurous undertakings." She removed her hand from his arm and turned back toward me only to find me softly chuckling. "I know you might not believe that Edward, since he is your brother, and you probably think he is incapable of being the sensible one at times, but when he steps into that big brother role to a little sister, he will change the way he sees things – I say this from experience."

I saw Emmett smile widely before he too turned and slipped quietly out of the room.

Bella's mother watched as Bella, still in a slight sitting position, snuggled up closer to me, and then coughed, which made a deep rattling sound.

"Nice doggy, warm doggy," she murmured softly in a lilting childish voice after the coughing stopped. "Mama come, Mama find me . . . warm . . . nice," and she ran her hand down my stomach like she was petting me.

"She still talks in her sleep. I imagine that you have become aware of that by now," she said as she sat down on the end of the bed by my feet.

"Yes ma'am," I replied quietly not wanting to disturb Bella.

"Why don't you lie her down so she'll be more comfortable, and we'll have a talk."

I gently shifted Bella down on the bed so she was in a reclining position, and then I gently began to pry her hands from around my arm with the intent of removing myself from beside her when Mrs. Swan said, "No Edward, you're father believes that having you beside her will help reduce her fever, so please stay where you are." She got up from the bed and walked over to the chair by my desk and carried it over to the bedside. "I'll just sit here while we talk."

"I want you to know ma'am that I would never compromise . . ." before I could say any more she held up her hand to quiet me.

"I never thought you would, or I would have found a way to bar Bella's window to you at night." Not only her words, but her calm tone surprised me. "I'm not stupid Edward. I would have thought that you learned from your mother that there are things no one can hide from a mother when it comes to her child. I've been aware of many things neither you nor Bella have felt at liberty to tell me, but I kept a watchful eye open, and I would have intervened if I had felt you were any kind of threat to her. Even now, I'm willing to accept that you need to stay beside Bella to help keep her fever down. I won't ask why, but I'll accept it because both your father and Bella's uncle have confirmed that fact."

"You've talked to Aleksey Kuchin?" That did surprise me. I had opened my mind to hers, but her thoughts came and went more quickly than I liked. I would get snippets of thoughts, but then I would lose the rest, and most of it ended up making no sense.

"Whenever Bella is facing a situation that seems risky to her health, I call Aleksey – it seems odd calling him that now; I have always called him Peter. Anyway, he has always been only a phone call away, and if I need him, he will come instantly to help with Bella. I won't lose her, you understand?" She looked at me intently and I caught her thought clearly that she would never allow anything to harm Bella in a permanent manner; it was something she had said to me once before.

Without saying or thinking it, I knew she meant for Aleksey to change Bella if she were ever in danger of dying.

I found myself nodding my understanding, and then Bella had another small coughing fit. I could hear the congestion in her lungs and could only hope the coughing was keeping it broken up.

"I hope you feel the same way about her; I think you do, but understand this, if you don't, then I will take matters into my own hands."

"I understand you perfectly Mrs. Swan, and I too do not want to lose Bella. She has become too much a part of me, and I couldn't tolerate the idea of losing her." I knew she could hear the sincerity in my voice, because even I recognized it as I spoke.

"Good, I think we have an understanding then. As to your nightly visits to my daughter's room, I know that nothing untoward is happening. I know you have always behaved as a gentleman where she is concerned, but you must stay alert so her father never finds you in such a position with her. He is not as understanding or as forgiving I'm sorry to say, and if he did anything to try to 'hurt' you, he would hurt Bella even more without realizing it."

"I understand, and I have no intention of being caught." I wanted to add that I could quickly hide or vacate the room without anyone even seeing my movements, but I refrained from saying that since she never once acknowledged the fact that she knew Aleksey as well as my family and I were vampires.

"Good, then I can leave knowing that Bella is in safe hands, and Carlisle has already mentioned that it would be wiser not to move Bella, so I'll leave her here until she is ready to come home. I'm hoping, however, that it will be before Tuesday night when her father returns." She then got up, moved her chair back to the desk and returned to the bedside. "Make sure she drinks all of that Kool-Aid. I really don't want her to become dehydrated."

Before she could turn to leave, Bella opened her eyes slightly and murmured, "Mama, is that really you?"

Mrs. Swan rushed back to the bed side, picked up Bella's hand that was still lying on my stomach, and said, "Bella daring, I'm here. Are you feeling any better?"

"Doggy warm mama. Doggy nice. Mama come, mama come for me." I felt her tremble and then she said, "Edward, I'm on fire. Cool me down," and she pulled her hand from her mothers and laid it on my face as she coughed again. "That's nice," she finally said as she caressed my cheek.

"Give her more to drink Edward. I'm going to go talk to your father. I think I'll stay until we're sure she is through the worst of this." She left the room quietly, and I could almost feel her concern.

Since I was still in more of a sitting position, it was easy to fill the glass with the Kool-Aid left by Emmett, and then I pulled Bella into a slight sitting position before putting the glass to her lips. "Drink Bella, you need this," I murmured into her ear before placing the glass to her lips.

This time she drank greedily, and as soon as she finished she murmured, "More," which I happily supplied for her.

She had gone through three glasses by the time Carlisle came into the room. "Her mother is extremely worried but seems to be handling it well. She has admitted that she has been through this before about four years ago when Bella's cold developed into pneumonia. She was hospitalized for a week, and they almost lost her at one point. It's the fever that nearly killed her. I know this is going to be hard for you, but I need you to remove your t-shirt, and then get under the covers with her. You need to bring her body temperature down before this evening or I'm going to have to admit her to the hospital. I don't like using those ice baths, but if you can't bring her temperature under control, then that will be my last resort."

I had watched Carlisle work with many patients, and I had not only seen his compassion for them but also had felt it. What I felt from him toward Bella was stronger than anything I had ever encountered from him before telling me that the situation was serious, and that he loved Bella as much as any of us. He truly had accepted her as part of the family and as his daughter, of that I had no doubt.

"Carlisle, would it help if I lay on one side and Emmett laid on the other? Would that bring her temperature down faster?" I never thought I would be willing to share a bed with my brother while my fiancée was lying between us, but desperate situations called for extreme sacrifices, and I was willing to sacrifice my feelings of jealousy for Bella's well-being.

"Good idea, and he has more body mass than any other member of the family so he is a good choice." The best thing about vampire hearing was that Carlisle did not need to raise his voice to summon Emmett, "Emmett, you're needed in Bella's room now."

Emmett entered the room as Carlisle finished his sentence; Carlisle glanced at him briefly as Emmett said, "I heard Edward's suggestion and decided to come in case you agreed. I would have been here sooner but Bella's mom is sitting in the hallway with Alice, so I had to go at human pace."

"Fine, strip your shirt and t-shirt off, and help cool her down from the back. The closer you can be to her the better. I know this is awkward, but it is also serious."

"She's my little sister, and I'll do whatever is necessary." The seriousness in his tone assured me that I had made the right decision to ask for his help.

"I'll be back in an hour to see if her temperature has dropped any. In the mean time, I need to see about a strong antibiotic for her."

"Does she need something for the cough?" I asked as Bella's lungs rattled through another coughing spell.

"Possibly, coughing is good, but she will need something stronger to break up the congestion quicker. I'll be back as soon as I procure what she needs," he replied before leaving.

As soon as Carlisle left, Emmett stripped of both shirts and laid down on the bed. "Emmett," I informed him, "You need to get under the covers with us. She needs body contact."

"Oh, that seems slightly wrong. Last time she was sick, it was enough that she was lying on my lap," he said as he crawled under the covers.

"Last time her fever wasn't as high," I told him.

As soon as he slid up to Bella's back, she murmured, "Teddy bear," and Emmett chuckled.

"I guess she remembers," he said through another laugh.

"It would seem so," I grumbled. I didn't like the idea of him being that close to 'my' Bella, and especially with his bare chest. At least I had the comfort that he was behind her.

"Did you ever imagine that we would be lying in bed with a woman between us?" Emmett chuckled again.

"And how is Rose taking this?" I asked in response.

"Oh, she understands, and she knows that I would do anything to help my sis out. You know, Bella really does remind me of my little sister. Her laugh is like Jenny's was, and so is her smile. When I first met Bella, she was about Jenny's age when I was changed, but Jenny had honey colored hair and blue eyes, but she was a challenge at times. Bella is a challenge as well. I never know what to expect from her. Sometimes she is the shiest person I have ever met, and then she surprises me by doing something bold and daring."

"Like agreeing to play strip poker with you?" I asked not being able to forget the scene I had accidentally walked in on that night.

Emmett chuckled deeply, "She really surprised me with that, and who would have thought that she was sneaky enough to put on extra clothing."

"Bella is anything but stupid, Emmett. She might be accident prone and attract bad luck like gravity attracts falling objects, but she does know how to think clearly and distinctly."

"She likes to have fun also. Despite the broken arm, she did enjoy the ski trip, and she really enjoyed that massage Alice arranged for her." He chuckled again as he remembered the moans that had come from the room while she had been receiving her massage. To think another man could elicit that response from her still caused me jealous pangs. "Did you know she even sent me a thank you card for losing the bet and then taking her skiing?" He humphed at his comment and added, "As if I lost that bet on purpose. She's not as easy to beat as Jasper and you, but I'll find a way to outsmart her next time."

Bella began to squirm, and then moaned, "Too hot," as she coughed again.

"What's she doing?" Emmett asked as Bella pulled her hands away from me.

At first I couldn't tell what she was trying to do, so I reached out for her hands under the covers and found them grasping the bottom of her short gown, and she was trying to pull it up her body.

"She's trying to take this short little pajama top off," I blurted out.

Emmett laughed as he commented, "Well, maybe she wants more one on one contact with you."

"This isn't funny Emmett," I retorted.

"Too hot," she murmured again.

"Let me try something," Emmett said.

I was trying to keep her hands from pulling the gown up; I didn't know if I could handle it if her bare chest actually made contact with mine. I was having issues already when her hand was on my chest, and then the petting she had done early hadn't helped any. Her touch, under normal circumstances, already sent tingles, jolts, and charges coursing through my body. Having any other part of her soft desirable anatomy touching me could be my undoing.

Bella's hands suddenly stopped moving and she moaned softly in a pleasurable manner.

"Emmett, what are you doing?" I knew it had be something he was doing, because I was not eliciting such a response from her.

"I've put my hands under this little nightie thing and I'm gently rubbing her back. Her skin is on fire, though. I don't ever remember her feeling this hot last time."

"Be careful Emmett. Don't hurt her."

Emmett chuckled and replied, "Yes papa."

I growled.

"Ease up Edward. I know how to touch Bella without hurting her. Remember, I've been around her longer than you have. Well, at least as a friend rather than someone desiring her blood."

I growled again. Did he have to remind me that I had basically been hunting her because of the attraction of her blood? I would never have hurt her, but I had still clung to that desire to taste her blood as often as possible. The fact that I was able to reign in my desire until I had it under complete control was an accomplishment that I should have been proud of; instead, all I saw were the few times I failed, and I allowed my desire to take me into her room to take blood from her.

Bella moaned again, and then murmured, "Teddy bear good, nice . . . feels cool."

"Maybe you should rub her stomach, it might help bring her fever down if you touch her bare skin," Emmett suggested.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," I offered back.

"Why? If it helps Bella cool down, then you should do it."

"There are two reasons why I think that is a bad idea. One, Bella has a scar there that I doubt she wants me to feel. She won't even allow Alice to see the scar while Alice is dressing her."

"What kind of scar?" He asked, and I realized he didn't know about Bella's confession about children.

"If you say anything to her about this, I'll deny telling you about it."

"That bad?" He asked.

"In her mind, yes." I waited for him to say something, but he didn't so I continued. "Bella was diagnosed with a growth, and her doctor at the time decided to remove it taking away Bella's ability to carry children at the same time."

"Bella can't have children?" His tone and thoughts both revealed his sympathy for her. 'Poor kid,' was one phrase running through his mind. "Rose's one objection to you changing Bella is the fact that Bella might decide later that she wanted children. Now it seems that is not even an option for her." He thought about the ramifications of that on Bella's life as a human and decided even if she were offered that option she was better off being changed so she stopped having 'near death' experiences. "So what's the second reason?" He asked reverting to the prior conversation.

"The same reason why you would find this hard if this was Rose instead of Bella." I admitted.

Emmett laughed, "Edward, Rose would never be in this situation. She doesn't get sick."

I only growled in response.

"Just keep your hands on her stomach and do not move up or down her body. Learn some self control. Think of it as a character building experience," Emmett chuckled.

"More like self-control, but if it will cool down her body, then I'll do it." I liked the thought of touching her bare skin, but I held in the feelings that grew with such an idea.

Very slowly and carefully, I lifted the little top just slightly and placed my hands directly onto her skin. Emmett had been correct when he said her skin was hot. I had always enjoyed the warmth of her touch, and any contact with her warmed my cold skin, but with the effects of her fever, her skin was not warm, it was actually hot. I had been feeling the heat radiating off her body as we laid together, but this told me just how much heat her body was actually generating. As soon as I laid me hands on her stomach, Bella moaned softly and pressed her body closer to me. I also instantly felt the distinct scar from the incision from her surgery. It was puckered and thick. I knew if I followed the vertical length of it, it would dip down past the band of the pajama bottoms, but I refrained from following the line.

"Did you know she has a round scar on her back?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, a bull gored her and that is the scar she received, but she said it ended up not being as serious as it originally looked."

"It's funny that the scar is round. If they had stitched it up, shouldn't it be a line rather than a circle?"

I had felt that particular scar before, but had never thought about that fact. "You're right. I wonder what Carlisle made of it when he saw it."

"Thirsty . . . please, I'm thirsty," Bella murmured through another cough.

"How about I sit up and then position Bella between my legs so her back is still against me. That way, we'll keep contact to draw out the heat from her body," Emmett suggested.

"That is actually a good idea," which it was, but that didn't mean I liked the fact that he would be holding her.

Before I could say anymore, Emmett flipped the covers off all three of us, was sitting up, and pulling Bella into a sitting position. He then wrapped his arms round her waist to hold her up while I got up and poured another glass of Kool-Aid.

I took one of Bella's hands and wrapped it around the glass while continuing to hold it with one of mine. "Bella, grab the glass and drink."

Instinctively her other hand came up to grip the glass allowing me to release it from my grasp, but I watched to make sure it didn't slip or spill as she brought it to her lips. She paused only twice while drinking the red liquid, and when she finished she held out the glass whispering, "More."

As I handed her the second glass her mother walked into the room. "Oh my, if I didn't know better I would think I had just walked into one of those girly magazines with so much bare chest showing." She chuckled softly as she spoke and I could see the humor in her slight smile.

I had to admit that Bella's mother seemed to say exactly what she was thinking at that moment although I had only caught fragments of those thoughts, and I knew she found the scene in front of her humorous.

She looked at me as she added, "Edward, I may be old, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the male physic," which caused Emmett to laugh.

Emmett's laugh and her mother's presence caused Bella to open her eyes. For the first time since she had passed out in Alice room, I saw some recognition in her eyes. "Mom?" Her voice was horse and raspy.

"Bella, are you aware of where you are?" Her mother asked as she approached the bed.

"At the Cullen house," her voice was still listless and sleepy.

"Yes, and you fainted while you were with Alice. You are sicker than you would admit, and Dr. Cullen is trying to bring your fever down."

"I'm so thirsty," she replied.

"Edward, would you pour her another glass," it was more of a request than a question, but it caused Bella to look at me.

"You're not wearing a shirt," Bella noted groggily. "Pretty," she uttered in a soft whisper.

"Drink this Bella. We need to keep you hydrated."

She cautiously took the glass from my hands and then seemed to notice for the first time the two arms wrapped around her. The look she gave me and her mother showed her confusion and embarrassment at the situation. "Who?" She whispered softly, causing Emmett to chuckle behind her. "Why is Emmett holding me like this?" She asked softly trying not to let her mother to hear her.

"Bella, it is okay. I know they are both here and that neither one of them has a shirt on. Dr. Cullen's instructions, it is the only way he could think of bringing down your fever without admitting you to the hospital." Her mother kept a calm reassuring tone, but Bella's eyes were focused on me, so I kept smiling at her.

"I'm dreaming and none of this is really happening," Bella whispered to me, causing both Emmett and I to chuckle.

"It really is okay Bella. Your mom understands and seems to have no problem with the fact that you are in my bed with Emmett and I. We are all obeying the doctor's orders," I explained in a normal voice so her mother could hear me.

Bella looked over at her mother and then at me but said nothing.

"Drink, Bella," I reminded her, "You need liquids and plenty of them."

Bella looked over at her mom and asked, "Could I have some chicken soup?"

"Sure sweetie. I'll go and see if Mrs. Cullen has some," her mom replied and then left the room.

Bella slowly sipped on her second glass for a few minutes before she finally whispered, "Why is Emmett sitting behind me, and why isn't he wearing a shirt?"

"It was actually my idea," I explained. "I thought with Emmett's help we could lower your temperature quicker."

"Oh," she took another sip, and then asked still in a whisper, "But why am I sitting with him and not you?"

Emmett chuckled again, "Bella, whispering won't help, I can still hear you."

"Right, I temporarily forgot." She chuckled softly as she added, "How silly of me. So why are you there and not Edward?"

"Because as your big brother I'm less likely to be tempted by you, and you're less likely to get too comfortable with me around your mother. Besides, Edward pours better." I noticed his comment caused Bella to jab her elbow back into him, but then she winced and I knew her actions hurt her more than Emmett.

"Just you wait, Emmett, one day I'm going to have the strength to hit you and make it hurt you instead of me." As she spoke, her endearing pout settled on her features causing me to smile, but she must have misunderstood why I smiled because she said, "It wasn't funny Edward. That really did hurt. I might as well have elbowed the brick wall at school, it might have hurt less."

"I wasn't smiling because of your pain but because of the cute way your lip juts out when you pout," I explained.

She humphed at my comment and then took another long drink of the Kool-Aid before asking, "Could I have some ice in this. It's too warm."

I really didn't want to leave her alone with Emmett, who looked too comfortable holding Bella, but I also wanted to supply Bella with what she needed. "Sure, I won't be long," I said as I rose to get ice for her.

Bella quickly reached out and laid her hand on my arm. "No, I want Emmett to get the ice."

Emmett laughed as he said, "I see my services are no longer wanted," and it took him no time to unwrap his arms from around Bella's waist and slide backwards to get off the bed. "I should not be long, so watch what you do while I'm gone," he warned with another laugh as he walked toward the door.

Once he was gone, Bella handed me her glass, and then, after I had set it down, she leaned toward me, and I pulled her to my chest. "How sick am I, and does my mom understand about you being so cold?"

"Carlisle says you have bronchitis, but it is the fever that has him worried. As to your second question, your mother has not asked about or commented on it. She just accepted what Carlisle told her. Of course," I had to admit, "I'm not sure what Carlisle told her. So, how do you feel?"

"I feel achy all over, and I feel . . . well, I was going to say warm, but right now, being held by you, I feel cooler. Your skin is so nice and cool against mine. I've never seen you without a shirt on before." Her voice was soft and low, and she ran her hand down the length of my bare chest causing delightful sensations to travel through my body. Because of the tone of her voice, I wondered if she were falling asleep.

Not sure why I did it, I began to gently rub her back, and then hoped I had found a way to comfort her while making her feel better.

"Oh, Edward, that feels so nice," she moaned softly and coughed a little.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Emmett asked as he walked into the room carrying a small bucket of ice.

"Just a wonderful back rub," Bella offered through another moan of pleasure. I was about to stop and pull away from her when she murmured, "Please don't stop. That feels so good."

Emmett laughed and placed the bucket on the side table next to the pitcher. "Enjoy it while you can. Your mom will be up in a few minutes with your soup."

"That'll be nice too," Bella murmured sleepily. "Now I have a teddy bear and a jaguar to cuddle with," she added in a voice so soft only someone with exceptional hearing could catch her words, and then she nodded off to sleep.

"Well, I see you have a real way with women. You're a natural at putting them to sleep," Emmett said through a low quiet laugh. "And since when have you become a jaguar?"

"Oh shut up," I murmured, but I mentally shelved that question to ask Bella later.

The rest of the day followed a similar pattern. Bella would wake up thirsty, and we would alternately give her soup and Kool-Aid, and Emmett and I continued to remain with her as we felt her fever receding. When she began to shiver slightly early in the evening, I sent Emmett out of the room, put my shirt back on, and covered only Bella with the blankets. I had thought about leaving her to sleep in peace, but the moment I tried to leave the bed, she whimpered my name asking me to stay.

Carlisle would come in every few hours to check her temperature and was pleased to note that it was slowly receding. Late in the evening, when it dropped below 100 , Mrs. Swan announced that she would be going home. Bella hugged her mom, while her mom told her how much she loved her. Carlisle assured Mrs. Swan that Bella would be able to return home sometime Sunday, but she asked if Bella could stay and come home after school on Monday. None of the family had a problem with that, and I welcomed the idea of being close to Bella to make sure she was fully recovered.

It wasn't until Sunday afternoon that I told Bella that her mother knew about my nightly visits. She was surprised at first, and then laughed about it. She did admit that she thought her mom might know because of a few questions her mother had asked her, but she then said it was good that her father had no idea about those same activities. She also tried to call her mother Sunday afternoon, but no one answered the phone.

To fight Bella's condition, Carlisle gave her a penicillin shot. He believed her bronchitis was the result of a respiratory infection, and that the fever was her body's way of fighting the infection. Once the fever was under control, he began her on aspirin to keep the fever down. She also began to cough more but Carlisle assured me that it was normal because it would keep fluid from building up in her lungs. I still had to make sure she drank plenty of fluids, and on Monday, Carlisle ordered her to stay home from school while he sent me to school.

Carlisle assured me that Esme would be a wonderful nurse, which I didn't doubt; the problem was I just did not want to leave Bella's side. A part of me felt compelled to stay beside her and protect her. I had never felt that way before, and all day long I felt guilty about leaving her alone – alone as in without me beside her. I had bothered Alice so often asking if she foresaw any problems that when the lunch hour came around, Alice disappeared. She ordered Jasper to tell me to stop bothering her, or she would not return to school that day; he also informed me that Alice would contact me if she saw anything wrong with Bella, so I should stop badgering her.

I spent the rest of the day brooding over our separation, and I began to understand why Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle preferred to spend time with their spouses. That day in school, I realized just what it meant to love someone so much that they become more important than you. That was how I felt about Bella. Nothing matter – my happiness was not my concern, my wellbeing meant nothing to me, and my existence was not worth contemplating without the one person I loved by my side. At some point while I was focused on these thoughts, I heard Alice mentally sigh, 'Finally.' I didn't think much about it until later, but I eventually realized that she caught some of my thoughts, which I must have been projecting unintentionally, and she meant it was time I realized what taking Bella into my life actually meant. I did have more than an existence; with the addition of my one true love, my soul mate, and my other half that made me complete, I could have more than an existence; I could finally have a 'life' but one that would last forever.

I was happy when school ended and rushed home, which is a loose term for what I did because I left my car at school and found a way to run home without being seen.

I found Esme and Bella sitting in the living room laughing. I suspected that the subject of their conversation was me, but I was so relieved to see Bella looking healthier that I didn't care what they had been talking about. My relief was displayed to her by scooping her up in a passionate hug, followed by just as passionate a kiss, and I didn't care that Esme watched. Before I set her back on her feet, Esme had slipped out of the room.

"Wow," Bella said breathlessly. "To what do I owe that?"

"I missed you," I replied simply.

"Can you miss me again?" She asked, and a saw a slight twinkle in her eyes, which was enough encouragement to repeat the kiss hugging her tightly to my body.

I prolonged this kiss, not wanting to release her, but we were rudely interrupted when Jasper walked in saying, "Edward, did you know you left your car at school?" Causing Emmett and Alice to laugh when they saw us slowly pull apart to acknowledge their arrival.

Without the slightest hesitation, I replied, "I hope you drove it home," and then I picked Bella up and carried her to 'our' room. It no longer seemed right to call it mine because we shared it so often, and I was willing to share with her everything that I had once called mine.

**

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AN: As a show of support for this story, please leave a comment even if it is brief one. For anyone who is interested, my first surgery went well and I'm recovering fine. My stitches come out next week. A big thank you to those who sent their well-wishes.**


	52. Chapter 52 More Than Meets the Eye

**AN: As with all my chapter, I will post the disclaimer that I do not own the Cullen family or Bella, but Bella's mother and background are part of my invention.**

**On another note, I'm sorry this is later than I meant it to be. Today is my surgery prep day and I have been rather busy. I won't get out of the hospital until the weekend, and writing will depend on how I'm doing, the intensity of my therapy, and how doped up I might be from painkillers. Please read the note at the end about the contest this story is included in. Thanks for all the kind people who sent reviews for the last story.**

**Journal Supplement: More Than Meets the Eye [April 1959 – Esme]**

I never thought I would contribute to this compilation on Bella's pre-vampiric life, but since I'm the one who had the conversation with Bella's mother, I thought it would be best if I wrote it. Everyone in the family knew about Bella's 'uniqueness' in regards to her attraction to all things dangerous. How her mother was able to live with all of that, I'm not sure, but she did her best to be a mother who was both supportive as well as protective without over doing the protective part. What we didn't know about Bella, early on, was the other side of her story, and I was fortunate that Joanne felt comfortable enough to share it with me.

In early April of 1959, not long after Bella's sickness that frightened Edward, I attended a PTA meeting at the school. The parents had gathered to discuss the upcoming prom and we, those of us at the meeting, decided to do something extra special for the graduating class. The school administration scheduled the graduation ceremony for 6 p.m. on Saturday evening. In the past, students always went to parties afterward, but the parents at the PTA meeting agreed that it would be nice if we sponsored a party for them. The party would be held in the school gymnasium.

Once the group had made the decision, we began volunteering for ways to help. I loved to bake, but only Bella benefited from my culinary skills, so I signed up to help with a bake sale to raise money for the graduation party to which the PTA would play host. Mrs. Swan signed up on this committee as well. We ended up being a committee of two; this development led to a meeting with Mrs. Swan one Monday morning while our children were in school.

We talked about the sale, what we would need and how we could arrange the sale to make as much of a profit as possible. We immediately and quickly came to a consensus on what we would do – with some undisclosed help from Alice during my part of the suggestions. From there, the conversation took a completely different direction.

"Edward is a very nice boy," Mrs. Swan commented as she shared coffee with me. Of course, I only pretended to drink the coffee.

"Thank you," I offered, but I could tell she had more to say, so I allowed her time to gather her thoughts.

"Bella could not have found a better person to choose as a boyfriend," she finally added and then paused for a few more minutes.

I sensed her uneasiness, so I said, "They make a good couple. Edward never paid attention to girls before Bella came along. He is very committed to her Mrs. Swan, and I know he would never hurt her." I hoped I had made it easier for her to share what she felt she needed to share.

"Please, call me Joanna," she said.

"And you must call me Esme," I responded with a smile.

"I really want you to know that I don't doubt Edward's sincerity. I have a feeling, but no one has really confirmed this, that their relationship has gone further than boyfriend and girlfriend," she commented as she stared down into her coffee.

"Would you object if it did?" I asked simply.

"No," she looked up at me as she replied. "I think Edward is the best choice she could ever make. He is constantly there for her. She'll need that; her life has not been simple, ever. She seems to attract dangers to her life, but there is more to it than most people have ever seen or realized. In fact," she paused to sip from her cup again, "Even Bella hasn't realized just how truly 'unique' her life really is."

Now she had my full attention. Carlisle and I had missed the original conversation about Bella's accidents because we had not been in the house at the time but Edward had shared the information with us later.

"Bella's uniqueness goes back to her great-great-great grandmother. My family is Welsh and up until my mother, very steeped in Welsh folklore and beliefs. My mother wanted to detach herself from her heritage. I think she felt ashamed of the beliefs of our family."

Once again, she paused as she took another sip of her coffee, so I offered, "I have met some people like that. They believe the only way they can become more a part of the American society is to denounce their ancestral roots."

"Do you believe that way?" She asked with a searching look.

"No," I replied simply. "My great-grandparents emigrated from Britain and even though they were happy to become Americans, they still passed on their family traditions. We always had a Yule log at Christmas, and it's a tradition that I've always enjoyed."

I had a feeling I was going to learn a wealth of information not only about Bella but also about her mother. I had always felt her mother was rather unique as well as Bella. When she had been at the house the day Bella's fever had been most crucial, we had some time to talk, and I heard her teasing the boys about older women still appreciating the male physique. I ended up chuckling about the comment because I was very aware of what my sons looked like with bare chests, and then I had to explain to Carlisle, who was standing beside me, why I was laughing. I imagined at that moment, that Mrs. Swan would have felt the same way if she had seen Carlisle's bare chest, and she was right, age in a female had nothing to do with appreciation of what was pleasing to the eyes. I pulled myself from my thoughts as she began to speak again.

"My grandmother had a family heritage that passed through the females. My great-grandmother immigrated here when she was seven, and her mother told old stories of the family to her children and grandchildren. My mother, however, chose not to tell me those stories so I had to get them from my grandmother whenever I visited her. In fact, I named Bella after my grandmother. Her name was Annabella, and she was named after an ancestor who was believed to have been carried off by the Fae. Of course, the other story is that she ran off with a young man whom her family did not approve of leaving behind a young daughter from her first husband who died in their second year of marriage. I took all my grandmother's stories to heart. That doesn't mean I believe them, but I remembered every detail. I never shared parts of them with Bella because Richard, my husband, would not have approved. Richard felt I shouldn't fill her head with fairy tales and old legends."

She paused again and I wondered how she felt about being denied the opportunity to share those special stories with her daughter. I also suspected that she mentioned these stories for another reason.

"As I said, Bella's life has been rather unique, and that uniqueness caused me to remember those old stories of my grandmother's, especially the one about the ancestor who was carried off by the Fae. In that story, it was said her daughter was actually part Fae, although she never told her husband. After the child's birth, the husband died leaving Aeronabell widowed with a month-old infant. Family legend says the child was either the result of her assignation with a Fae or the child was Fae touched; either way, all the females afterward have had some special ability. In the case of the child, she was very adept at healing potions. After that it varied. Some were able to foresee the future while others knew about plants and how to use them."

"Do you have any special ability?" I had to ask, but I wasn't sure if she would answer.

"Let's just say I'm very aware of what is happening around me, but I learned at a young age to keep what I see to myself. As I said, my mother didn't like the old tales, and she refused to acknowledge anything that had to do with her heritage. I knew she had some type of ability, but she would not talk about it, so all I had to go on was the little I could see. I loved my mother, but she did not show affection of any type – I learned to live with that as I got older, but for a child, it was hard to understand why your own mother would not hug you or say any kind words to you."

"That must have been hard; I can't imagine treating my children in that manner."

"Well, it was something I was determined not to do with Bella. I made sure that, at an early age, Bella knew I loved her by not only telling her but showing her also. In addition, I shared what I could about my heritage, which to me was very important. It is part of Bella's uniqueness, but then there is the other part that comes from her father. In Richard's family, there seems to exist a streak of bad luck. He never fully explained it to me, but he assured me that Bella carried his family's curse and that is why she had so many accidents and mishaps. I think, but I cannot prove this, but I think he sometimes wishes we would never have had a child because of his curse."

"But there is more to it. Bella might carry his curse, but she also carries your side making her an extraordinary person." I began to see why Bella had no problems with falling in love with a vampire or integrating into a world that included more than just humans.

"Yes, she is and extremely so, and that is why I'm so careful . . . where Bella is concerned."

Her hesitation led me to believe she was going to say more, so I patiently waited taking the time to take in my surroundings. When I had first walked into the house, I had noticed a number of pictures of Bella, at various ages, hanging on the wall. They seemed strategically place in such a manner that they did not overwhelm the viewer nor did they clutter the walls. I also noticed a similar look on Bella's face in each picture. Although she was smiling, there was also a far off look in her eyes as if she were waiting for something. I noticed that same look when Alice had first introduced Bella to us, but it seemed more intense as if she knew what she was looking for but it was out of her reach. Once Edward finally started dating her, the look vanished from Bella's eyes. 'So,' I thought, 'Maybe Bella was been waiting for Edward all her life, knowing he was out there, but not know how to find him.' It was an interesting thought, and something I decided I would talk to Carlisle about later in the quiet of our room while Edward was out of the house.

I had also noticed that the decor of the living room was modest yet refined in an understated manner. I had admitted to myself that Mrs. Swan had good taste but had also learned to work within her budget. Her dining room showed the same style. The furniture had good clean lines, and had just a touch of simple elegance. There was nothing shabby about the Swan home which, in my opinion, reflected the careful but creative housewife that Mrs. Swan was. Mrs. Swan's voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Bella seemed to be different from the day she was born. In fact, her first odd mishap occurred in the hospital during her birth. Somehow, it seems, she was completely entangled in the umbilical cord in the womb. My labor was extremely difficult, and a few times, they thought I might lose the baby, but when things seemed the worse, a nurse came over and held my hand and whispered words of comfort. She was very memorable. She was willowy and ethereal, her hair was blonder than I'd ever seen before, her blue of her eyes was almost unbelievable, and I felt a soothing warmth flow from her hands into mine." For a moment, I thought she could have been describing Rose, but knew it wasn't possible because of the warm touch. "She seemed to exude tranquility which helped me make it through all the problems that had arisen. After Bella was born, I wanted to thank the nurse, but the other nurses who had been present claimed no nurse had held my hand." She paused and took another sip of her coffee.

A number of possibilities about this mystery person came to mind, but I didn't mention any of them.

"From there, it was minor things; a bump, a small scrape or cut from falling, and other sundry bruises. Her first real serious incident was around the age of five when my husband fell asleep at the wheel of the car and we ended up in a ditch. It was near dusk when the accident happened, so no one actually witnessed all of the accident. We were fortunate that one couple saw the car go off the road because they reported the accident and requested help. My husband and I were both unconscious, so our knowledge of the incident comes from information provided by the rescue team. I guess we were both pinned in the car, and it took them a while to extract us. The ambulance driver rushed us to the hospital for treatment. It wasn't until the next morning when I woke up and asked the nurse about my husband and daughter that anyone realized there had been a child in the car. As soon as that was discovered, search teams were sent out, but they didn't hold out much hope that she would be alive. The temperature that night had dropped below freezing and a light cover of snow had fallen. It took them half a day of intensive searching to finally find her, but what they found surprised everyone. Not only was she alive, but she had not suffered from the cold. It seems, as hard as this may be to believe, that some wild animal had lain down beside her to keep her warm during the night. Rangers from the area that had helped in the search were unable to identify the animal because its tracks were mostly covered by the new snow, and what had remained had been trampled beyond distinction by the search teams. Even the imprint in the snow where the animal had lain beside Bella to keep her warm was not identifiable. I overheard two of the rangers talking, and they said the imprint belonged to some animal that they could not identify. They argued about the imprint being similar to a bear, but one said it was too large for any of the normal bears that lived in that area. One of the police officers made a comment about a partial paw print that he saw, and he said it looked similar to a wolf print but larger than any wolf he had ever encountered."

"That sounds just like something that would happen to Bella, but she never mentioned that part of the story when she told Edward about the incident," I commented thinking about the wolf comment and not believing the possibilities it presented.

"I'm happy she shared this with Edward. I've encouraged her to do just that because, I told her, if she was serious about this relationship, she wouldn't want to keep any secrets from him. Unfortunately, Bella can only share what she knows and neither her father nor I felt it necessary to share that part of the story with her. This, however, wasn't the only time we withheld information. We felt that some events, especially when she was younger, were better left unmentioned." She stopped abruptly and took another sip of her coffee.

She had more to say, but she paused suddenly while thinking deeply, I knew she was considering how to share it. I had a feeling she was going to share more of the stories Edward had already shared with us, but I was going to see another side to each of them.

As she set her coffee cup down, she continued. Her determined look informed me she had decided not to keep anything back. "My husband refuses to tell Bella anything about that accident. In fact, he refrains from talking about any of her accidents with her. In this particular case, he already felt guilty enough that it was his fault, but the fact that she had been missing for almost an entire day was even worse for him. When we were first warned not to keep our hopes too high about her being alive, he was in tears, but after they found her, he refused to ever discuss the event again with anybody." When she first began talking, she had her hands loosely wrapped around her coffee cup, but as she spoke, I noticed her grip tighten on the cup.

I seldom reached out and touched humans because our touch was so cold, but I felt compelled to touch her hand in a reassuring way as I said, "I doubt Bella would ever blame either of you for what happened. I have noticed that Bella takes everything in stride and see these events as no more than everyday expected occurrences, and she never blames anyone for them happening."

It surprised me when Mrs. Swan did not jerk her hand back in reaction to the unnatural coldness of my hand, and I wondered if she had ever touched Edward. Bella had reacted the same way when Alice first touched her, and even Edward commented that she didn't flinch at his cold touch. I then remembered Aleksey and figured both might have become accustomed to his touch; as a child, I couldn't imagine Bella not touching him because most children like hugs.

Joanna's only reaction to my comment was to chuckle softly at my words and add, "Bella never has the heart to hurt anyone else by laying blame. She is completely forgiving even when it appears that the accident could have been avoided. She is more likely to blame herself than anyone else." She chuckled again but with a harsh tone to the laugh as she said, "It was just like that when she was gored by the bull. I still do not understand how she survived that incident. I saw it happen, and that bull had gored her, but the doctors assured us that the term 'gored' did not really apply because the wound was shallower than it looked." She shook her head in disbelief, "I never believed that. I saw the horn completely disappear into her skin. It went deep, and it should have caused more damage; although in the end, it revealed something that caused more damage than could have been foreseen."

"She told Edward that she still has a scar from that incident, and she told him about the tumor and its results, but Bella told Edward the injury developed a serious infection." I replied.

"That was part of the story she was told. I had to give her some reason why the x-rays were taken, and why she finally had the surgery. I'm not sure why I lied, but at the time it seemed easier than telling her that the tumor might have killed her," she admitted.

"Was there anyway you could have been mistaken about what you saw?" I asked knowing that if she were indeed a perceptive person, she really had seen it as she described it, which meant something had happened that changed what really had occurred.

"No, there was no mistake, and the funny thing about that was Bella still did not blame anyone but herself for the accident. She argued it was her fault on the grounds that she was the one who convinced us to take her to the fair. I'm glad though that she shared that information with Edward about the tumor. I told her she needed to be completely honest with him, and I assured her that from what I saw of him it would not make a difference to him."

"You're right," I replied as I pulled my hand away from her. "Edward loves her for who she is. I think Bella is beginning to understand that her physical body does not matter as much as the person she is, and that is who Edward has fallen in love with.

She then sighed deeply. "There is more to that story of the bull though," she said as she looked me in the eyes. "Bella claims she remembers little of what happened that day." I noticed a rather haunted look in her eyes. "Right after Bella was gored, a man ran over to her and chased the bull away. I thought he was one of the midgets from one of the sideshows because he was so short and rather stocky. After the bull left, he bent over Bella saying something, but I was too far away to hear what he said. I saw him lay a hand on her injury and felt rather protective because here was a stranger touching my child. I didn't think he meant any harm but something about him didn't feel right. Before I could reach her, another man knelt down beside her, and he had a black bag with him. It turned out he was a doctor who worked for the fair. As he began to treat Bella, the shorter man got up and left. He had vanished into the crowd by the time I reached Bella's side. The doctor looked up at me, and I told him I was Bella's mother. He was the first to reassure me that the injury was not severe and that it would take some minor stitches to close the wound. He also told me an ambulance had already been called and would arrive soon."

She took one more sip from her cup, and I noticed that once again her hands shook a little.

Finally looking up at me, she continued. "I have a feeling that Bella does not always remember certain events relating to some of her accidents, and her father will never speak of them. I once tried to ask her about her recollection of that accident, but she replied that it happened too fast. She clearly remembers walking and talking with her friends, and she remembers seeing the bull, but then all she remembers of that event is the doctor telling her she was shaken, slightly hurt but otherwise okay."

"Maybe the shock caused her to not fully comprehend what was going on at the time," I offered. Over the years, I've heard Carlisle talk about patients who didn't remember events leading to major injures because of the trauma and shock that accompanied the incident.

"That is possible, and it could explain the lapse of memory she had after her more severe experiences, but I still wonder about it because, you see, I went back to the fair the next day and asked to talk to the man who had been with Bella right after the bull hit her, but I was told there was nobody connected to the fair that matched the description I had been given. I then sought out the doctor and he assured me that there was no one beside Bella when he arrived. How did I see a short stocky man who was not observed by anyone else? Even Bella didn't remember anyone but the doctor."

She had a point; it was a perplexing dilemma unless what she thought she had seen never happened. The problem was I didn't take her for a woman who hallucinated.

"There was one more astonishing event tied to that incident. After arriving at the hospital, the doctors informed us that Bella's wound had already begun to heal, and they would not need to apply any stitches to the wound since it appeared mostly healed. She ended up with a round scar that looks as if it had sealed shut on its own, but I swear, that bull did more damage that any doctor's ever saw. It was one of the reasons why the doctors ended up x-raying the area to see what was going on inside of her, and that was when they found the tumor. At first, they were only going to do a biopsy, but when they actually opened her up, the tumor was so entwined into the tissue of her uterus that they could not remove one without removing the other. They knew even if the tumor were benign, that it would have to be removed, so they told us what the options were and what the end results would be."

I watched as she twisted her cup in her hands, and I knew this was something hard for her to share. "Would you like another cup of coffee or something else to drink?" She asked as she suddenly looked toward the kitchen.

"No thank you," I replied, "I'm not really thirsty."

"If you will excuse me Esme, I think I need something else to drink," she replied as she got up from the table with her cup.

I watched her walk into the kitchen, and my acute hearing indicated she had placed her coffee cup in the sink, and then she moved and opened the refrigerator door. The next sound I heard with a drawer opening and a bottle cap being removed. I watched as she walked out with a bottle of coke-a-cola in her hand.

"Bella's influence," she admitted as she held up the bottle, and then sat down at the table.

We both laughed at her comment and the atmosphere in the room seemed less tense because of that shared laugh. It was as if she felt more at ease, but whether it was because of what I was that first made her tense or just the topic under discussion was undiscovered by me.

She took a drink before taking up her narrative again. "You must have some idea of how it might feel to find out your child needs the type of surgery that will stop her from being able to function like other normal healthy people." She said as she fidgeted with the bottle.

I wanted to say yes, but I knew I didn't really. None of my children were normal people, and I accepted them that way when they came into the family. In my own way, I could feel for her and the idea of losing something, but in my new existence I had gained more than I had actually lost. When I should have died, I lost an abusive husband, and when I woke up, I gained a friend who became a loving husband and a grown son. In Joanna's case, she lost the potential of grandchildren, but she still had her daughter. I could not help but wonder what Bella must have felt when she discovered she could never have children.

"After giving us our options, the doctor allowed us five minutes to come to some decision. In my mind, I would rather have the tumor out than risk losing my child. Richard didn't want either decision. I tried to point out the advantages, but he finally said I should decide and he walked out of the waiting room. After the doctor returned, I gave him my decision and then he handed me some forms that I had to sign. I must confess, I didn't read them even though I should have, but I was distraught at the time and could not focus on anything but the welfare of my child. After the doctor left, I went searching for my husband but didn't find him. It turned out he went back to work and only called me two hours later to see how Bella was doing. By then she was out of surgery and in a room. She didn't really wake up until the next morning. She mentioned the pain she felt but never asked what had happened, and we didn't talk about it until after she was finally released and returned home. It was not a conversation that my husband took part in. I waited for him to leave for work one day, and then sat down beside Bella's bed and explained what happened and what it meant to her. She never shed one tear in front of me, and I never knew if she cried later. It was not a topic we talked about until after she started dating Edward, and then she thought that he might not want her after he found out about that surgery. I told her that if he really loved her – and in my opinion, I added, he really did – then it would not matter to him. She laughed at my reply at first, then cried a little, and finally said she would tell him, but she warned me I should not mention it because she needed time to prepare herself."

"I think it was hard for her because Edward said he could see the fear in her face when she told him, but all he could think was how much he loved her and nothing would ever make him change his mind about that. Edward is fully committed to Bella; he will never leave her," I assured her.

"I know," she replied. "I realized that the second week they were going out. I could see it in his eyes and in the way he treated her. At first, I was afraid he would become as overprotective as her father, but I've notice he has backed off a little from being so overly protective," she admitted.

"You have Emmett to thank for that. He has had a number of talks with Edward about how he might push Bella away from him if he didn't ease up, and Emmett was very upfront about comparing Edward's actions to Bella's father's actions. I think that helped, especially when Bella would say things about her father smothering her in his overly concerned manner." As I spoke, I watched Joanne carefully to make sure I didn't offend her.

"I warned Richard numerous times that if he wasn't careful he was more likely to drive Bella away than to earn her trust, but he seems obsessed with keeping her safe no matter what it takes. I fear he is going to lose her affection if he keeps it up." She shook her head as if she realized she could do no more to curb her husband's actions. "I keep telling him that Bella is more than just accident prone. Sure she has accidents, but it seems with each accident something else happens that seems to render the accident less serious. Between the car accident and the bull, Bella should have lost her life, and then the incident with the tumor, well the doctor told me that Bella could have gone years with no one discovering it. Bella might not even have had any pain for years, and then, by the time it became painful and was found, it would have been too late to treat or remove it. The doctor said the incident with the bull was more of a Godsend because it allowed them to find and treat what might have killed her later on. I tried to tell Richard that, but he refused to listen. To him it was just another reminder of the curse he passed on to his daughter."

"Does he have the same kind of bad luck?" I was curious about his relation to the bad luck. I had never heard Bella talk about her father as being someone who had accidents like her, but there had to be some basis for his belief.

"No, but he claimed his father did, although I never met his father because he died before we met. I've met his cousins, but I've never heard tell of bad luck with any of them, so I sometimes wonder where the original belief came from. Richard does not speak much of his family or of his childhood, and his mother had very few pictures of him until he was older. I always wondered why, but I learned early on that he didn't like me asking questions about his family, and for the sake of our marriage, I stopped asking questions."

"Do you sometimes regret . . ." I realized I was entering dangerous ground. Most women didn't like to speak about their marriages, but it bothered me when I saw strife in a couple because of what I went through with my human husband. After Carlisle freed me from him, I always grieved for women who were prisoners in like relationships.

"It's okay to ask Esme, and I guess my answer would truthfully be no. My marriage isn't perfect, but then whose is, and as to regrets, if it hadn't been for Richard, I wouldn't have Bella, and I would not trade Bella for anything. I've often wondered what will happen after Bella leaves home, but I've decided that is a question that can wait until she really leaves home. I know there are women who are divorcing their husbands and it is not as frowned upon as it once was, but still, it is a drastic step to take."

She was right about that. Even ten years ago there was a stigma attached to divorced women which was only just changing, but it was a slow change. Besides that, it was hard for a divorced woman to make a living because it was still a man's world.

"There is still one other accident that happened that had an odd twist to it. When Bella was thirteen she nearly drowned out on a lake where we had been skiing. Once again, her father blames himself for it. Bella was so happy that day, and she had enjoyed herself skiing even though she fell down a lot. After Bella was back in the boat, she laughed about the falling claiming it was the one time she could fall down without skinning her knee or bruising herself. We were all enjoying our time on the boat and then Bella leaned over the edge claiming she saw something in the water. She would never tell me what she thought she saw, although since then, I have asked her a few times. She just said it was her imagination playing tricks on her." She paused as she took another drink of the pop in her hand. "Richard claims something flew through the air at him and he raised his hand to deflect it, in the process, the item flew toward Bella and hit her on the head. Everything happened so fast. One minute Bella was leaning over the edge of the boat and the next she was in the water, but somehow her life-jacket had been ripped off. We all rushed to the edge of the boat, but I was the only one who saw Bella under the water. There was a woman with long blonde hair holding her, and I watched as she put her mouth against Bella's, and then the woman pushed Bella up toward the surface of the water. Richard's friend Bill jumped in the water and pushed Bella up so Richard could pull her into the boat. Then Bill gave Bella mouth to mouth resuscitation. It took little for Bella to cough out some water, and then breathed on her own, but when I mentioned the woman I saw in the water, both men laughed and said women hallucinated about the oddest things during an emergency."

This was another new twist on the story that Edward told, but then Bella did say she was unconscious when she fell, so it was not hard to believe she would have no recollection of the event. I was beginning to wonder, though, just who and what Joanna had seen both under the water, at the fair, and in the delivery room. She had mentioned she was 'aware' of what happened around her. That fact had been made very clear when she informed Edward that she knew he had been paying nightly visits to her daughter; it did surprise me that she hadn't put a stop to it immediately, but then she also admitted she trusted him. What, I wondered, did she see in him that made her trust her daughter's virtue with a teenage boy, for that is how Edward appeared to humans. What did she see that other humans didn't?

"It really hurts to be laughed at and told your eyes are not seeing what you know you saw, but that was also the case with the bull accident. As I said though, I'm very aware of what is happening around me even when others don't see it, or maybe they choose not to see it," she stopped and stared off at the wall and I could tell she was once more deep in thought.

It gave me time to reflect on her ability and wonder if that is why she knew what we were. She saw what other humans decided not to see. Visually we were different; we were paler and more beautiful than average humans, and our skin was cold to the touch; even our eyes were different, but most people made no comment about those differences. Bella noticed them right away, but she accepted the difference with no fears, and it seemed that Joanna did also, but, unlike Bella, Joanna did not admit that she saw the differences. I could not help but wonder what happened to her as a child that made her stop letting others know she saw what they failed to see.

Suddenly she whispered, "That's why Bella knew." Her words were meticulously clear to my acute hearing, but I knew to any other human, her words would have been inaudible. "I'm sorry," she offered finally looking at me. "My mind wandered off for a moment."

"Very understandable considering what you have been telling me. It seems as if someone or something has been looking out for Bella especially when she had extreme accidents." I took time to choose my words carefully because I didn't want to say anything to offend her, but I also wanted her to understand that I believed what she was telling me.

"You're right, and it is not just with major incidents. Sometimes there are intercessors even with minor events. One day she was passing a neighbor's house when their dog charged Bella but before the dog could reach her another dog interceded and attacked the dog who tried to attack her. There were a few witnesses to the event and everyone agrees that they had never seen the other dog before; it was bigger than most dogs they had seen – one man described it as wolf-like – and no one ever saw it in the neighborhood after that. Bella may be cursed, according to her father, but she has also been lucky at the same time. Even her meeting with Peter was a blessing in disguise. Peter explained to me later that there had been a rogue bear in the woods that day he found Bella, and it was lucky he found her before the bear did."

He didn't tell her, like he told us, that he that found and dispatched the bear before he found Bella; of course, from another point of view, if he hadn't been in the woods, the bear would have found Bella and no one would have been around to protect her.

"Peter and Edward are the two best things in Bella's life. They both are protective of her in a way I cannot be, and even though Bella was upset when she found out, Peter has never been more than a telephone call away." She finished off her pop after she finished speaking and then placed it on the table. "You do realize they have both promised me that if anything were to happen to Bella that she would not recover from, they would both be there for her and make sure I didn't lose her." Her look was very intense while she spoke, and she knew I understood what she meant. "I will give Edward the first opportunity, but if he fails me, I know Peter will not. I just thought you should know that. I think Edward already understands, but I wanted you to see this from my point of view. I will do anything not to lose Bella."

Not only was her look intense but also the inflection in her voice. This was her child she was talking about, and I understood exactly how she felt. I loved Bella dearly, like my own daughter, but I wondered how Joanna would feel if she received what she wanted for Bella and then Bella out-existed her. I also couldn't help but question how Bella would feel about that as well. I know Alice and Edward have told her that would happen, but I've never heard what Bella's response was to that comment. Then of course there was the fact that everyone believed Joanna already knew what we were; therefore, she understood the consequences of her request.

Joanna began to laugh lightly, "This turned more serious than I meant, but I think, as mothers, we understand each other. I know your family will always look out for Bella's best interest."

I smiled as she spoke; she was right the conversation had taken a serious tone toward the end, but her last comment made me smile even more. I hoped she understood that sometimes Emmett could become a little reckless but not in a harmful manner. I too had heard about the poker game, after the fact of course, and it amused me when I discovered that Bella could hold her own with Emmett. Sometimes, though, I feared that Emmett might forget that although Bella enjoyed his form of horseplay, he might slip and be a little too rough with her.

Almost as if she knew the line my thinking had taken, she reached out and touched my hand. "Don't worry too much about Emmett; he is strong, I will not deny that, but there is a special tenderness I see in him when he is around Bella. I believe he really does see her as his little sister in a way that only a true brother does. I also know he would do anything for her, and that is what worries me because Bella, at times, can fail to see the harm in some things she wants to do."

I chuckled at that comment because it was Bella's idea to go skiing and even if she had lost the bet, I was willing to lay odds – as Emmett says – that Emmett would still have taken her skiing for Christmas. "He does seem to be putty in her hands, but I think Jasper and Edward will curb any requests that might appear harmful to Bella."

This time Joanna laughed outright. "What might appear harmful might indeed be beneficial, while something innocent can end up being the dangerous decision. Just look at Edward – he was the best thing that ever happened in Bella's life, and I'll never regret allowing that relationship to develop even though it had a rocky start."

I wondered if she really knew how rocky that start had been. I had heard her tell Edward she knew about his visits to Bella's room at night, but was she also aware of them at the very beginning?

After that afternoon, I realized a new relationship had begun to develop and from that point on Joanna and I spent more time becoming friends; something Bella told me later she was happy for. She said her mother didn't have many friends, and it was partly due to all the moving her family had done since Bella was a child. Here, I decided, was a woman who needed a friend, and later I would be glad I took the time to become the friend she needed.

**AN: A number of my stories, including this one, have been nominated [many thanks to Hyvanna] for the Bring Me to Life Awards. Please go to www(dot)bringmetolifeawards(dot)weebly(dot)com to vote for your favorites. Please show your support for this story, and any of you others that you have enjoyed, by voting now. I thank you for your support.**

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	53. Chapter 53 Big Brother

**AN:Not the owner of the Cullen family or Bella, so there is the disclaimer.**

**Slang terms are found at the end of the story if you need them, and I hope everyone will enjoy the chapter. Still working on the next one. At least the surgery is over, now I'm in recovery and therapy. **

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**Journal Entry Forty-One – Big Brother [1959]**

There were so many events occurring once April began and Bella was better. With school nearing the end, I spent time finding ways to help Bella relax before finals began at the end of May. Even though it was nearly two months away, Bella had already begun to panic, even though Alice assured her that she had already seen Bella passing them. Bella had her own way of looking at things, and it was not always an optimistic outlook when it concerned her own self interest.

The second weekend in April, I took Bella to the movies. Unfortunately, Emmett selected what we saw since we chose to double date with Rose and him and Jasper and Alice. I should have known better than to listen to him, but he said the movie had high reviews.

The first problem we encountered was while I was buying refreshments for Bella, and just to make it look more human, Emmett came over to buy Rose a drink, and Jasper chose to buy Alice some Jujubes, which Alice claimed she would save for Bella. While standing in line, three teenage boys began to ogle Rose.

"That's one classy chassis," the blond one name Ralph said.

His friend Aston commented, "She's really stacked. Enough to make a guy's mouth water."

Albert Thomas, whose father was the wealthiest man in town sans Carlisle, declared, "I've got dibs."

We knew all three of these boys from school and they all knew that Rose was Emmett's girlfriend, but they also thought, since they were from wealthy families, that they were better than Emmett. Of course, had they known how much money our family really had, they would have discovered that their wealth meant nothing to her. In addition, Rose only had eyes for Emmett, and their bond was unbreakable as was every bond between two vampire mates. Still, they thought they had an upper hand, and were willing to slather her with their superfluous and demeaning attention. I could have told them that Emmett was not one to hold his temper long when it came to his wife.

"Back off boys, she's circled," Emmett growled.

"Don't have a cow," Ralph retorted; of the three, he was the most likely to end up on the other end of someone's fist.

"I think you should split before he pounds you," Jasper warned calmly as he walked up beside Alice.

"Look, we're not cruisin' for a bruisin'. We're only eyeballing the merchandise," Albert said in a tone that was meant to appease everyone present.

Rose, however, never appreciated false flattery. "Not for sale boys," Rose snapped bringing her surprisingly white teeth together in a sneering threat. Had it been any normal human, the verbal assailants would not have flinched but a vampire's sneer with bared teeth seems to send a serious shiver through any onlooker.

All three 'boys' stepped back quickly, and then turned and beat a hasty retreat. Bella snickered into her hand as she watched them go causing Rose to glare at her.

Instead of being offended by Rose's look, Bella said, "I wish I could be as fierce looking as you, and then maybe, I could make Emmett back off like that when he's planning on tickling me."

It was the first time I ever saw Rose laugh at a comment of Bella's, and she even replied cordially. "After Edward changes you, I'll teach you how to scare Emmett off."

"Aw Rose, you can't share my one weakness with her," Emmett whined.

"You have more than one weakness, Emmett, and some I'm sure she wouldn't like to know," Rose quipped quickly back.

"Thanks Rose," Bella offered with a small smile.

I thought that would be the last event that might ruin our night, but Emmett had chosen the _House on Haunted Hill_ with Vincent Price for our nightly entertainment. For the time, the special effects were adequate but not all that scary, but Bella did not enjoy horror movies and Emmett knew it. To make matters worse, Emmett chose to sit behind us and he kept spoofing Bella throughout the movie. By the end, she was nearly in tears, and I finally turned around and told him that if he didn't stop, I'd would rip his hand off and bury it in the woods. I thought Rose would make some sort of retort to my comment, but instead she said, "And I'll rip off something more valuable."

It was the first time that Rose stood up for Bella, and I did have to admit that it shocked me, but then I heard Rose's silent, 'She's not a bad person, and Emmett does love her, but he takes things too far sometimes. He didn't mean to make her cry though, and once he knows that, he will apologize.'

I hadn't expected that from Rose, but felt she was beginning to be more receptive of Bella as a member of the family.

Emmett did apologize on the ride home, but Bella cold-shouldered him and buried her face into my chest as I wrapped my arms around her. It took her three days before she finally forgave him, but he had to promise not to taunt her like that at the movies ever again, and when she meant ever, it did mean for all time to come.

The following week I spent entertaining Bella by visiting some of the local museums. I discovered that although she liked museums, she preferred the ones with ancient artifacts and artwork over the ones that focused on geology or other earth related topics. During the week, we made frequent trips to the library and bookstores; I hoped these places would help focus her thoughts on something other than the upcoming final exams. In between entertaining her to take her mind off the exams, we did spend time studying for them. Mostly, Bella studied and I quizzed her, and any class I could not help with, Alice stepped into my place.

The next weekend, we went to the movies again, but this time it was the drive-in and Bella picked the movie. What surprised me was that she picked a horror movie as well, _The Giant Behemoth_, and she made Emmett and Rose sit in the front seat of my Chevrolet Bel Air leaving the back seat for just the two of us. I wasn't sure why she chose a horror movie, but I didn't complain about the seating arrangements because I figured I could keep Bella busy enough that she would miss most of the movie. What I hadn't known was her ulterior motive behind the entire date.

Just past the opening credits, I watched as Bella pulled out a small but long feather. I almost laughed wondering what she meant to do with it; Bella quickly put a finger to her lips to warn me to remain silent. She then pulled out a small slip of paper and handed it to me; on it were written the words, 'Use it just behind his ear, but don't let him grab it.' Giving me little time to read it before she shoved it into her skirt pocket, she then turned herself so her back was to Emmett, wrapped her arms around me neck, placed her lips on mine, and put the feather in my hand. It didn't take me too much time to realize I was to flick his ear with the feather but look as if I were busy kissing Bella when Emmett turned to look.

I took my time to begin this little annoyance because I wanted to have some pleasant personal time with Bella, and I wanted to wait until Emmett followed my example with Rose. Once he was preoccupied, I flicked his ear with the feather causing his hand to come up and brush against his ear. I repeated the action enough times until he pulled quickly away from Rose and turned to stare at us, but by then I was totally absorbed with Bella. I did this four or five times, before he finally bellowed, "Okay, enough. Whatever you are doing, just stop it."

Bella pulled away from me to look at him and placing a slight pout on her face, replied, "I'm sorry Emmett. I didn't think it would upset you if Edward and I made out in the back seat. It's what you always do with Rose."

"That's not what I'm talking about," he retorted, "and Edward knows it."

"Knows what Emmett?" Bella asked with an extremely innocent look on her face. She was going be someone who could be as deceptive as the rest of the family by the time I changed her. I decided I needed to ask Alice if she had been giving her lesson.

"That annoying thing he is doing to my ear."

Bella looked at me with her large innocent eyes and asked, "Didn't I have your complete attention?"

"And then some," I replied. She was good; I had to admit that. Watching her, I would not have been able to tell she knew exactly what Emmett meant if I hadn't known she set the entire torment up.

"I'm sorry Emmett, but Edward did have my full attention, and he says that I had his, and I don't think he would lie to me. So I'm not sure what problem you are having. Maybe we should all just watch the movie."

In response, Emmett just growled as he glared at me, but he did finally turn around and wrap his arm around Rose.

Bella snuggled next to me, and pulled out another sheet of paper from her pocket, flipped it open and closed quickly before returning it to her pocket. As quick as she was, I was quicker; this one read, 'Play along.' Then she leaned in and began to kiss my ear and neck, which sent waves of bliss running throughout my body. Sensitivity to touch was a nuisance and an advantage for vampires. With anything course, rough, or annoying, that sensitivity was unpleasant to say the least, but in the case of Bella's caresses and kisses, it was sensually gratifying.

After a few minutes of kissing my neck, Bella whispered, "Edward, is that what they mean when they talk about necking?"

She might have whispered her question, but she knew Emmett heard her. I whispered back, "Yes, and very pleasant it is," causing Emmett to snort.

"If this is necking," she whispered again, "Then what is petting?"

"Bella!" Emmett nearly choked on her name.

She pulled away from me and addressed Emmett. "What?"

"Where did you hear that?" I wanted to chuckle at his comment because I knew that she had heard it at least once from him.

"Well, the other day in home economics class we were talking about dating and the topic of what not to do on a date came up. Someone questioned whether necking was allowed and the teacher said it wasn't appropriate for well-brought up young ladies to 'neck' with a boy, and that a gentleman would not expect a girl to allow such a familiarity. I didn't agree with her. I see nothing wrong with necking. Besides," she chuckled slightly, "Edward's skin actually tastes nice."

"Okay, so necking is allowed, but what about 'petting.' How did that enter the conversation?" He quarried.

"Well, after a number of us disagreed with her, Alice spoke up and asked about petting. Mrs. Hornbeck looked apoplectic and said it was not a proper discussion to have in school, and if Alice wanted an answer to that question she should talk to her mother. I asked Alice later what it meant, but she refused to tell me." Bella turned to me and gave a sly little smile before turning back to Emmett and asking, "So what exactly is petting?"

"Wait until your married, and then I'll tell you about it," Emmett retorted causing Rose to snicker. "Don't start Rose," he warned.

Very innocently, she replied, "I haven't said anything Emmett."

"Humph," he snorted, "I bet you and Alice put her up to this."

"I don't understand what the big deal is Emmett. If necking is okay, why isn't petting? Is it really that bad?" Bella's sincerity was amazing, and the fact that she wasn't laughing was surprising.

"As your big brother, there are some things that are better left unsaid. Even the shock value of explaining the actions is not worth sullying your ears. I wouldn't tell any little sister of mine about that act, at least until she is older."

His comment not only surprised me, but I noticed the surprise in Rose's thoughts. Here was the same person who allowed my Bella to play strip poker, and yet he wouldn't explain petting to her. He had changed; I thought Mrs. Swan had exaggerated earlier when she made the comment that being a big brother would change Emmett, but I realized she had been right because I had seen the evidence of the change myself.

"We're leaving. Bella, please put the speaker back on the stand," and not waiting for a reply, Emmett started the car while Bella rolled down the window so she could hang the speaker on the stand.

It was a quiet drive back to Bella's house. As we got out of the car, Bella stopped to say goodnight to Emmett and Rose. Emmett gruffly bid her goodnight, and I noticed Rose giving her a small smile before Bella turned and we walked to her front door where I kissed her goodbye with the promise of seeing her after everyone had retired.

"I hope Edward, that you and Bella are not engaged in that activity. I don't think it is right for you to treat her so loosely," Emmett growled as I slid into the back seat.

"What are you talking about Emmett?" His question had stunned me because I had thought the only reason Bella had brought up the topic was to tease Emmett.

"Petting, Edward. You aren't doing that to her are you?" There was a slight growl behind his words. I don't think I had ever heard or seen Emmett become as protective of anyone except Rose, but this newly developed concern for Bella's welfare astounded me.

"First, I do have a rough idea of what that action entails, and let me assure you that I would never allow things to go that far. I do think more highly of Bella than to treat her like a tramp, if that's what you mean. Second, what Bella and I do or do not do really is none of your business." Why he thought he could dictate to me was a question yet to be answered.

"Like I said, little brother," which came out in almost a sneer, "No one is going to treat 'my' little sister shabbily. I know you are serious about her, but I won't let you harm her, and I don't think you have enough control over your emotions yet to take that kind of a step with her."

'He means it Edward. I've never seen him this protective before for someone besides me.' Rose's silent comment was also a warning not to push him.

"Emmett, you know as well as I do that I respect Bella too much to do anything that might cause her harm, physically or emotionally. With that in mind, please remember that this is our relationship, and we don't need your interference even if it is meant for the best. You don't see me telling you what you can and cannot do with Rose." I reminded him.

"That's different. We're married." He snorted.

"Calm down Emmett, Edward is right. You can make suggestions, but you cannot dictate. Besides, you do know he loves her too much to hurt her." Rose's soothing tones lowered the tension in the car, but it still amazed me that Emmett could become so unhinged about anything dealing with the relationship between Bella and me.

Matters became a little more heated, but in another manner, later that night when I arrived at Bella's house. I had stayed outside longer than I meant to because of an argument that occurred between Bella's parents. Her father was upset with how much time Bella and I had been spending together, but her mother told him that he couldn't expect to keep Bella at home forever. She reminded him that she was becoming a young lady, and part of that meant that Bella would date boys and eventually leave home to attend college or get married. Her father's thoughts betrayed the fact that he was unhappy with that idea, and he ended up going into her room.

From Bella's breathing, I could tell she wasn't asleep, but her father must have thought she was because he asked, "Bella, are you asleep?"

I heard her sigh softly before replying, "No dad, I'm not."

"Bella, I think we need to have a talk." By the intonation of his voice, I could tell he was moving around in her room. I then heard the faintest creak of the desk chair that was in her room, which told he had sat down.

"About what, dad?"

There was a slight pause before he continued. "Bella, you are growing up and you seem to have . . . well, um, let's say discovered an interest in boys."

I heard Bella's soft chuckle.

"You do realize Bella that most girls, and boy for that matter, develop interests in each other that are not always lasting. You see, love is something that takes time to develop. No one falls in love at first sight."

"Okay, you might have point there about other girls and boys, but what does that have to do with me."

"Well, girls have been known to be lead astray by some young men who are smooth talkers, and well, I just think you need to know that love does not happen overnight." I could tell from his thoughts that he felt his talk was not going well, and mostly his thoughts were jumbled while he tried to pick the right things to say.

"And your point dad?" Whether her father noticed it or not, Bella tone informed me she was slightly upset and frustrated with his comments.

"I'm just telling you that you may fall in love many times before you finally find the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is not something to rush into. You need time and maturity to know what real love is." His words seemed rushed, as if he had to say them before his courage failed.

"Dad, I'm not a child, and I'm not someone who does not know her own mind. I never do things lightly, and I don't easily change my mind when I've finally decided on something."

"You're young yet Bella . . ."

"Dad, I know where you're going with this, but don't even go there. I know what I'm feeling, and I know how deep those feeling go." There was strength in her voice that I always heard when she was ready to fight for what she believed. That strength was what made her arguments so strong.

"You might Bella, but what about this boy? What do you really know about him? How many other girls has he told he loved before he changed his mind and move on to someone else?"

I heard Bella chuckle at this comment. "Dad, I think I know more about Edward than any other girl at school, and as to other girlfriends, I've been assured not only by him but by his brothers and sister that he was never interested in girls before he met me."

"How can you be sure . . ."

"Dad, I'm sure. I'm as sure about him as I am about myself." There was pause when no one spoke, and then Bella asked, "Why don't you like Edward? He is polite, kind, caring, and respectful – everything you said a young person should be."

"Because he seems too perfect, no one is that perfect, especially at his age." That comment made me chuckle considering he really didn't know my real age.

"So, I'm not perfect? You've always told me I was, and now I find out you have been untruthful with me." I could hear the touch of humor in her voice, and I hoped her father did as well.

"I'm referring to boys Bella; they're different. They know how to be deceitful when it comes to relationships with girls. They find it easy to say things they don't mean."

"But not Edward; he is not like other boys." I nearly laughed as I realized all the ramifications she could put behind those words. "Just give him the chance to prove himself to you. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I just don't understand why you don't like him."

"He brings you home injured." His voice rang with his resentment.

"Dad, Edward does everything within his power to keep me safe, but sometimes my ability to get hurt just supersedes anything he can do to protect me. You can't blame him for my bad luck, and don't you even dare blame yourself." Once again, I wanted to laugh at her comment and the truth that lay behind it.

"Just think about what I've said Bella, and don't rush into anything. I think you could do better." I heard the chair creak as he got up and then I heard his footstep cross her room. He must have moved the chair nearer her bed and just returned it. "Goodnight Bella," he said before I heard her door close hopefully behind him.

I gave him another ten minutes to return to his room before I scaled the side of Bella's house and stealthily climbed through her window. I found Bella sitting up in her bed waiting for me.

"Don't say anything, Edward. Just lie down with me." I was happy to comply, so I sat on the edge of the bed while she made herself comfortable, and then I laid down next to her holding her close to me, and just before she drifted off to sleep she murmured, "I could never do any better." Her comment surprisingly made me feel warm inside.

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Translation for some of the 50's slang:

classy chassis = great body

circled = married

cruisin' for a bruisin' = looking for trouble

eyeballing = looked around [in this case looked Rose over]

stacked = a woman with large . . . um, well-endowed, let's say

dibs = a claim on something

pounds you = hopefully an obvious term, but if not – beats you up

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End Note: Please share your thoughts and comments with us about this chapter.**


	54. Chapter 54 Prom

**AN: I don't own the Cullen family or Bella. The story I do own. I apologize for the delay, I was wrapped up in therapy, the next chapter, and another story I am posting. If you enjoy this chapter, please post a quick review – I really appreciate hearing what you think and I enjoy the encouragement.**

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Journal Entry Forty-Two – Prom [1959]**

Prom – a word that sent tremors of fear through Bella's entire being. It wasn't as if we hadn't attended other dances together. There had been two so far, the Halloween Dance and the Christmas Formal, both of which she had thoroughly enjoyed, but for some reason, this particular dance caused her the most trepidation. Bella claimed it was because of the dress Alice expected her to wear, and I suspected it was something else, but she wouldn't talk to me about it.

I tried making light of the matter but that only earned me a mean scowl, so the weekend before the dance, I took Bella to the bookstore in Seattle as a way to apologize and help her relax; we spent the entire day there. Bella truly becomes oblivious to everything else while within the walls of a bookstore; she became completely absorbed in the world of books. In her opinion, the world could move on and leave her behind, which didn't say much for my fascinating personality. Anyway, Bella did have a wonderful time, but I earned a disapproving look from her father when I returned her home later than he expected.

"You're late," was his first comment when Bella opened the door.

"I didn't know I was supposed to be home at a certain time," Bella replied trying to make light of his tone.

"What did you do that took you all day?" It was more than a question; it was almost a command for an explanation.

"Dad," Bella countered with her own tone and attitude, "Edward was nice enough to take me to a magnificent bookstore. I lost track of the time, but it was wonderful."

"Doesn't he own a watch?" He demanded of her as he glared at me.

I began to open my mouth to reply when Bella said, "Don't Edward. You don't need to explain yourself." She then turned her back on her Dad, kissed me full on the lips, and whispered, "Leave and come back tonight." With that, she pushed me back toward the door. "Goodnight Edward. I'll see you tomorrow," she said as I reached the door.

"Goodnight Bella," I responded knowing she didn't want me around as she faced her father's ire. "Goodnight sir," I offered to her father who just ignored me and stared at Bella.

I remain in the area and listen, but I knew her father would notice if he didn't hear my car starting up and driving down the street. I was really tempted to park a few blocks down the street and run back to sit in the tree by her window, but I was learning that Bella wanted and needed to fight her own battles with her father. I knew his anger did not center only on how long we had been gone, but also on the fact that Bella was dating me. He wasn't focused enough on what he disliked about me, but his thoughts definitely told me that he wished I would just disappear and leave his daughter alone. His other primary thought focused on convincing Bella that I wasn't right for her, although I suspected Bella's mom might have something to say on that subject.

My problem seemed to revolve around how to demonstrate to Bella's father that I did love her and wanted to protect her, and the person who came to mind was Carlisle, so I headed home to find him.

Carlisle, as I suspected, was in his study. "Carlisle, do you have a moment?" I asked after tapping on the door before entering. He knew I was there, but I had been taught as a human that politeness and respect of adults was essential in properly raised children.

"Edward, you are always welcome." He waited until I was seated before he continued. "So, what seems to be the problem?"

"Bella's father actually," I responded. "How do I show him that I'm serious about Bella and that I'm not a threat to her?"

"Maybe he sees you more as a threat to him." Carlisle leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desk steepling his fingers together and resting his chin on them as he spoke.

"But why?"

Carlisle chuckled as he dropped his elbows off the desk and leaned back in his chair, "Edward, she is his little girl, and he is having trouble accepting the fact that she is growing up. To see another man, or from his perspective boy, showing interest in her is hard, and for him to accept the fact that your feelings are serious is even harder. It would mean he is losing her."

"Is that true of all fathers?" I found myself leaning slightly forward in the chair.

"From what I've observed of human nature, yes it is."

"So how can I change that, or can I?" I was being to wonder if Bella's father could ever accept that his daughter was growing up, and very nicely, I added mentally to myself.

"You might not be able to, but Bella might. I'll warn you though. It will take time and patience for both of you. Just continue to show respect toward Bella, always treat her as the most important person in your life, and let Bella's father see that you respect him as well even if he doesn't like you." Carlisle leaned forward slightly as he spoke. "It will take time Edward, and maybe it might be helpful if Richard met your family. I'll speak to Esme, maybe we can invite the Swan family over to allow him time to become acquainted with all of us. Esme and Joanna have become better acquainted these past few months. Between them, I suspect, they can come up with a solution. Until then, just continue to be the polite person you have always been."

I hadn't thought about the fact that Bella's father had never met my family, while her mother had been at our house a number of times since Bella's sickness. Esme had also talked about visiting Joanne on a number of occasions although, at the time, she didn't share with us what they had talked about, and she kept her knowledge about Bella's family history well hidden from me.

"Thanks Carlisle, I'll do my best." Something else had been bothering me but I was reluctant to share it with anyone, but since it still plagued me, I debated sharing it with Carlisle at that time.

I had been deep in thought about it when Carlisle began, "Edward, you very seldom need my help with anything, and now that you have developed a true relationship with a girl, I feel as if I'm actually needed in your life." He paused just a moment with a pleased smile on his lips, and then asked, "So, what else is bothering you?"

"Nothing really," I tried to shrug it off thinking maybe I was just being overly apprehensive about a trivial matter, but I noticed his smile deepened in a knowing manner.

"Anything that has you that deep in thought is never 'nothing,' but if you don't feel willing to share, I won't force you." That was one of Carlisle's strengths, he never forced you to share, but his concern was always discernible in his voice and look and it made one feel more comfortable with sharing.

"Okay, it is something but you'll probably feel it's superfluous," I finally admitted.

"Well, try me, and then I'll give you my honest opinion." As if he could ever give me a dishonest one since I could always tell what he was thinking.

"I sometimes wonder if someone will come along that Bella will find more appealing than me. What if she should encounter a human whose blood calls to her like hers did to me; would she consider leaving me for him?" I had considered this for a while now, and it was possible that she might discover someone whose blood did call to her as strongly as hers did to me. I also wondered if roles had been reversed, would my blood have been a siren's call to her as hers was to me. I finally admitted, "Sometimes so many doubts plague me because it seems like I'm too lucky to have won her, and that maybe there is someone better out there for her. Bella assures me this isn't true, but it still doesn't stop the doubts from plaguing me."

Carlisle chuckle softly as he said, "Edward, those are normal doubts for all of us. I felt the same way when I found Esme. I told you, at the time, I couldn't allow her to die, but it wasn't because of her blood, it was because of her. Just because Bella's blood was what first drew you to her doesn't necessarily mean that she would be your mate. The two are not generally tied to each other. In fact, your case is rather an anomaly in the vampire world that I have studied. I attribute it to Bella herself. There is just something so different about her, as far as humans go, that she just does not fit any normal mold for humans or non-humans."

He was right about that, Bella was the most exceptional human I had ever met in my forty-one years as a vampire. It did help to share, and to hear his thoughts on my concerns. "Thanks Carlisle, and I will take your advice about Bella's father." I began to rise from my chair.

"Edward, have a seat a moment." He asked, so I sat down again. "How is Bella feeling?"

I took time to examine his thoughts looking for the reason for his concern. At first I thought he might mean health wise because of her recent sickness, but his thoughts centered on her emotional state. "Explain that?" I asked since I wasn't discovering what part of her emotional concerns he meant.

Carlisle laughed softly. "It does save confusion sometime when you know what I'm thinking," and then he took a breath and explained, "Right now, Bella seems to be under a lot of stress because of final exams, and it doesn't help that Alice is dressing her up for a dance Bella is none too excited about attending. Add to that her father's tirade tonight, and I'm wondering how all of this is affecting Bella's emotional health."

"I thought she was handling it fairly well. Should I possibly reconsider that?" I asked. Had I been taking it for granted, I thought, that just because she seemed unworried on the outside that she wasn't in turmoil internally?

"Edward, Bella is the only person's whose mind you can't read, and she does seem to have a tendency to downplay everything especially when it concerns her. You might ask her how this is all affecting her. Get her to confide in you by showing her she can trust you and that you only have her best interest in mind." Carlisle always seemed to see things I missed, and his advice was something I took to heart.

"I will Carlisle even if it means dashing Alice's prom plans," I admitted.

"It won't happen Edward. I've seen Bella at the prom," Alice chimed in from down stairs.

"I'm sorry Edward, private conversations will never occur in this household unless we send everyone elsewhere," Carlisle sadly shook his head. He was right; I should have remembered that, and my only excuse was my anxiety about Bella.

"Thanks Carlisle, I do appreciate your advice, and I'll talk to Bella about her desires and apprehensions," I said as I rose from the chair and walked toward the door.

Talking with Carlisle really didn't take long, so I still had time before I could go to Bella's house. With my extra time, I decided to make a quick trip into the forest to hunt. I had only entered the tree line when I discovered I had company. Generally Jasper wouldn't have followed me hunting, but I knew Alice had sent him, the little coward, or maybe it was some scheme of hers.

"Jasper," I asked as I ran, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Why ask, I imagine you've already heard it."

I laughed in response.

"Look Edward, you and I both know that Alice sent me and for only one reason. I have to be honest with you, I didn't come willingly. I've been threatened with a fate worse than death, and believe me, Alice meant it. The sad part is that I agree with you. If Bella doesn't want to go to the prom, then she should not be forced to go, but please, don't tell Alice I said that."

Funny how no matter how fast we run, we can still carry on a normal conversation without becoming winded; however, sometimes it did interfere with our sense of scent since we mostly breathed through our nose while hunting. I nearly missed an entire herd of deer because I hadn't been paying attention, but I was able to stop in time to secure one for a quick meal. Just as I snapped it neck, I told Jasper, "We'll finish this conversation after I drink," and then I quickly drained the deer. I didn't pay any attention to what Jasper did while I drank; as long he didn't interfere with me, we were fine.

As soon as I finished and disposed of the carcass, I turned to Jasper and said, "So, Alice sent you to tell me that I shouldn't tell Bella that if she chooses not to go to the prom I will back her up against Alice, and that I should find a way to convince Bella that she will have fun attending the prom."

"Pretty much, yes," Jasper replied with a slight smile on his lips. "I guess that was easier than I thought it would be, however, I really do mean it when I say I think Bella should have a choice in this matter, but once again, I'll deny it if you tell that to Alice."

"Coward," I teased, and then I turned more serious. "Thanks Jasper," I clasped him on the shoulder, "I'll talk to her about it, and I will let her make her own decision, and if she does choose not to go, then I'll break the news to Alice myself without once mentioning your name."

"You better go. I imagine Bella is patiently waiting for you, but is never good to make a woman wait too long," he laid his hand on mine and squeezed it in a way of reassurance, and then added, "I think I'll hunt a little before I head back home."

"Giving Alice time see you doing something else other than telling me to leave it up to Bella," I quipped with a slight chuckle as I released his shoulder.

"Not really, according to her she has already seen Bella at the prom, and Bella had an enjoyable time." Jasper laughed in response.

"Jasper," I caught his eyes with mine as I began, "Have you ever wondered where free will comes in when Alice tells us what she sees, and we just follow along with her visions?"

He laughed again before answering. "Believe it or not, I have, and let me tell you, you can over think that entire idea, and if I were human, I would have given myself a headache over it. I talked to Carlisle about it once, and he said it is safer to stop trying to evaluate whether Alice sees our free will decisions or whether she influences them by saying she saw us make that decision. In the end, he said, it comes down to whether we trust Alice."

"Thanks, I'll remember that, and I'll see you tomorrow," I replied as I turned and left. Carlisle was right, if we began questioning Alice visions we would begin to distrust her and we would miss opportunities of changing some bad choices or decisions we would make. I was just hoping Bella's father would begin making the right choices were Bella was concerned. I had a feeling that he wanted to do something to really pull us apart, and that would not bode well with Bella or me, but I also did not want to do anything to form a rift between Bella and her Dad.

It was late enough that I expected to find everyone in the house asleep, but I noticed that someone was breathing deeply in the living room, and only one person seemed to be asleep in Bella's parents room. Bella, I noticed as I entered her window, was not asleep, but at least was lying down.

"Edward," she whispered softly breathing out my name like it was delicate chain that wrapped lovingly around my heart. It took only seconds to reach her side and lie down beside her. As soon as I was settled she wrapped herself around me. "It was bad Edward, really bad. I never heard them fight like that before," I heard a soft hitch in her voice, and I could feel her shaking slightly. "He started out about us, but it ended up being about them."

"Shhh, Bella," I said as I caressed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead, "Just sleep, and you can talk about this in the morning." I could feel the tenseness in her body as she held herself against me and knew she needed to relax. Sleeping would give her the release she needed from all the pent up tension.

"No, I need to talk now while it is fresh. I don't have your amazing memory and I don't want to leave anything out. Maybe you will be able to help me make sense of everything they said."

I wanted her to sleep, but I could also feel her need to share, so I replied, "Okay, Bella, start at the beginning and go slowly." Slowly for her would mean she had time to think before she spoke, and I knew she would want to get the memories in the correct order as well as correct in content.

Bella took a deep breath and then slowly blew out letting me savor the scent of her breath as she did so.

"It started with Dad being mad that I was late, but that was not really why he was mad. After you left, he admitted the lateness didn't matter as much as that I was with you."

I didn't say so, but I sensed that from his thoughts as he began yelling when we walked in the door.

"He then proceeded to tell me again that I could not really understand what real love was at my age; this was just after you left, and mom said from the kitchen, 'Are you saying that at her age I didn't know what real love was as well.' She and Dad fell in love when she was sixteen and he was two years older than her. 'We were different,' he said, but then added, 'but maybe you didn't understand love since that seems to be changing.' She was really mad as she walked out of the kitchen. I could read it in her face, and I swear it felt like the temperature in the room dropped twenty degrees when she walked in. She proceeded to poke him in the chest with her finger as she clenched her teeth and said, 'I didn't change – you did.' Edward, I never saw her that mad before."

I felt her push her face further into my chest, and I began to stroke the back of her hair hoping to bring her some comfort from the pain I heard in her voice.

"Edward," she murmured into my chest, "I've never heard them argue like that before. They actually yelled at each other. I've heard them argue before about me and my clumsiness, but this was about them. Dad kept accusing mom of not loving him anymore, and mom kept accusing him of not being the same person she fell in love with. She said he was overbearing and overprotective to the point of being smothering where I was concerned. He retaliated by saying she didn't care if I injured myself or did things that were dangerous. Mom yelled back saying he was stifling my life by not allowing me to make my own choices. Then it all changed."

She paused as a sob escaped, and she had to take time to regain control of her emotions. I continued to rub her back and hold her close hoping to provide her with some comfort.

"They started blaming each other for causing problems in their relationship. Mom said Dad put too much time into his work, and Dad actually told mom she had been too friendly with Uncle Peter. I think I heard her slap him, but I could be mistaken." Bella sobbed again while speaking and pulled in closer to me. "Mom said Dad had always been jealous of Uncle Peter because he feared I liked him better than Dad, and she said she knew that was why he asked for a transfer and made us move half way across the country. Dad accused Uncle Peter of trying to steal his family away from him, and then he accused Mom of arranging the entire sky trip so I would meet Uncle Peter again. That can't be true Edward. Mom didn't know about Emmett's arrangements, so she couldn't have arranged it."

This time Bella sobbed a little harder, and I listened carefully to see if anyone else heard her. "Shh, Bella, you're right. Emmett made the arrangements before he even told the family where we were going. There was no way he would have talked to your mother about it until it was all arranged, and then it was Alice who asked permission for you to go skiing with us."

"How could they say those things to each other? They have always seemed so happy. I never thought they could say such cruel things to each other, and now they are not even sleeping in the same room. How could they be so cruel to each other?"

"It's part of human nature at times to vent their anger and frustration about things that upset them. The fact that you have never heard your parents argue before doesn't mean they haven't, it just means you never heard them before."

"Mom said Dad had changed. That he wasn't the same person she fell in love with. Will that happen with us? Will how you feel about me change over time?" Bella's voice trembled as she spoke.

"Bella, how I feel about you will never change no matter how much time passes. I believe Alice told you once that our kind do not change. It seems the only thing that can change for us is when we find our soul mates. A special love comes with that discovery and when that love enters ours existence it changes us, but that change is permanent and once we find that special love, we will never lose that intensity of love even if we lose the one we love." I kissed her forehead before continuing. "Bella, I'll never change, and my love for you will never change. My hope is that when you're changed, you will still love me."

I could feel her trying to hug me tighter, but I knew she didn't have the strength to tighten the hold she already had on me. "How could you doubt me? I'll always love you. It's like I told my Dad; once I make up my mind, I don't change it. Even if it had worked out differently and you had not discovered you loved me, I still would have continued to love you. Maybe I'm already a little like you in the fact that I don't waver from how I feel, as if those feelings are already set in stone."

The strength of conviction in her voice warned me not to doubt her, but how she could be so sure of her feelings was a mystery to me. Of course, there was a lot about Bella that was still a mystery to me.

"Bella," I whispered softly, "I won't doubt you, but now I think you need to sleep. It has been a long day and an even longer night for you. Just relax and allow yourself the rest you need." I kept my voice soft, low, and soothing, plus I continued a slow rubbing on her back.

"Okay Edward," she breathed quietly, "But promise not to leave until I wake up, and don't let me go."

"I promise," I whispered softly before placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. I heard her breathe out and then murmur something inaudible before her breathing finally evened out and I knew she had fallen asleep.

The days leading up to the prom proved stressful for Bella because of her parents. It took four days before her parents appeared to have overcome their anger with each other, but because of my ability, I knew they were putting on a front for Bella's sake. As with all arguments, they had said things to each other that hurt and would take time to heal, but their desire to make their relationship to Bella appear normal was admirable because it showed how much they loved her.

The morning of the prom, I bid Bella a sad goodbye knowing I would not see her again until I picked her up that evening. Alice had the day pre-planned, and Bella claimed Alice had used torture words like manicure, pedicure, facial, and hair preparation. I wanted to laugh when Bella referred to those as tortures but knew better because in her mind they would be just that. In addition to Alice, Bella's mother was also going to be working beside Alice to help prepare Bella for the prom.

As Jasper had proposed, I had offered Bella the option to bow out of prom gracefully, but Bella was adverse to hurting Alice's feelings since Alice had invested so much time and effort into the creation of Bella's dress, so Bella was confined to her room with Alice and her mother until I arrived later to pick her up for the dance.

Jasper proposed we spend part of the day hunting, which offered me something to do other than mope – as Jasper said I would – around the house. Emmett opted not to come because Rose and he were going to spend some quality time together, or so he said. It was easy to decipher the meaning of quality time according to Emmett, so Jasper and I were happy to leave the house. Even Esme arranged to run some errands during the day so she would be away from the house. Jasper invited her to hunt with us, but she informed him that Carlisle and she had already planned to hunt that evening while we were all at the dance. Carlisle was the lucky one, he didn't need to make-up an excuse to leave the house – he had his work.

The day did not progress too slowly. We spent the morning roaming the Mt. Rainier range in search of worthy game. Carnivores were always better than omnivores and especially herbivores, and we did find a few. Part of the day we just spent racing through the forests and up the side of the mountain. It reminded me of the day I took Bella up to watch the sunrise; of course, that was the same day Bella was accidentally shot, something that never should have happened because I should have been more attentive and because it hadn't been hunting season. The hunters on that day had been illegally hunting. It is just like driving with reckless drivers on the road, there is never a policeman, or in this case a ranger around to catch the violators when one is needed.

Jasper and I arrived home around five in the afternoon, and used the hour before we were to pick up the girls to get ready. It took me ten minutes to shower, dress, and run my fingers through my hair, and I was ready. Jasper took two minutes longer; Alice would notice if he missed anything she had told him to wear or do before coming to pick her up. We spent the next forty minutes sitting on the sofa in our living room and waiting.

The plan for the evening was to pick Alice and Bella up at Bella's house, go to dinner, and then the dance. Bella's father had already laid down a curfew, so Bella had to be home at midnight – no later. With the dance starting at eight, it gave me at least four precious and exquisite hours to dance with the love of my life.

For the first time in my existence, I felt nervous as I awaited Bella's entrance from the top of the stairs. Bella's father was standing in the living room doorway glaring me while I stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting. He had the look of someone who thought I was going to steal something precious from him, and maybe, in a sense I was, but not right at that moment. I was only taking her to a dance, not running off to marry her, although that thought had its merits.

I knew the instant Bella would walk out her bedroom door. The voices of Alice and Bella's mother were encouraging, telling her how beautiful she looked. Bella didn't reply, but knowing Bella, I suspected she didn't believe them. Then I heard the door open, and I held my breath in anticipation. Bella rounded the corner of the hall from her room and momentarily paused at the top of the stairs. My mind instantly took in every aspect of her beauty and indelibly inked on a memory plate of my internal scrapbook of my time with Bella the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Alice had been right – when had she ever been wrong – when she claimed the dress was uniquely Bella. It was a deep maroon color that hung to just above her ankles allowing one to admire the beautiful shape and curve of her ankles. The dress itself was completely strapless making it appear to defy gravity while it stayed up covering Bella bodice which I noticed was rising and falling swiftly. The dress had just enough fullness at the bottom that I knew it would sway as Bella moved. Bella's dainty feet were encased in a pair of spiked heels, which caused me no small amount of fear as I knew she would have to descend the entire length of the staircase before I could safely hold her in my arms.

The dress, however, was only the trimming of Bella herself. Alice had arranged Bella's hair so it was up, but not completely. Instead, ringlet cascaded down just kissing Bella's milky white shoulders, and the thick dark tresses also framed her lily-white cheeks. As I said, the dress was only the trimming, like the wrappings and bows that adorned presents, but what was inside the wrappings was the true beauty, and that was Bella herself.

Bella once told me she considered herself mediocre, but she didn't see herself through vampire eyes, especially my eyes. There she stood, beautifully adorned, yet the trimmings did not out shine her eyes, face, hair, or skin. Vampire skin is extremely pale, but the paleness of Bella's skin carried a special sheen. I'd heard females thinking and talking about a peaches and cream complexion; well, Bella had all the cream in her complexion, but instead of peaches, she had a faint pink tint that hovered around her cheeks. Those same cheeks could turn a crimson red when embarrassed, but that only made her appear more beautiful and precious in my eyes. Her hair also had hidden facets unseen by human eyes. In truth, her hair was a deep chocolate brown, but there were faint glints of gold and red hidden in the depth of her tresses, and sometimes, when the sun glanced off her hair just right, those gold and red highlights danced throughout her hair, making her even more stunning. Then there were her eyes. The deepest soul searching eyes I have ever encountered. Although it is more of a cliché, her eyes were deep pools of rich swirling brown, but with heightened vision, I saw thin silver streaks inhabiting the depths of the liquid brown color. She once said my eyes overwhelmed her, but her eyes mesmerized me.

That was how I felt as I stood at the bottom of the stairs and gazed up at her, mesmerized, for she was the most beautiful person I had ever beheld.

As Bella took her first tentative step downward, I locked my eyes on hers staring intently at her and willing her to move slowly and carefully. Our eyes never wavered from each other as she slowly glided down the stairs. Her moves were more graceful then I had ever witnessed before, and her pace both pleased and annoyed me. I was pleased because of the caution she used not to stumble or fall, but I was annoyed because I knew it would take longer before I could wrap my arms around her. Of course, I knew not to fully hug her with her father hovering over us, but I could safely wrap one arm around her waist.

I wasn't sure when Alice and Bella's mother reached the bottom of the stairs, but I soon found myself being positioned in the living room as Bella's mother took pictures of first Bella and I, then Jasper and Alice, and then finally the four of us together. Before she finished, I suggested I take a picture of her and Bella together, and then all three of them – Alice, Bella, and her mother – and then Alice took a picture of Bella, her mother, and I together. Bella's father refused to take part claiming there was no need for so many pictures.

The best thing I can say about the prom was that I held Bella close as we danced to every slow dance that was played; she categorically refused to step foot on the dance floor when a fast song was blaring.

The worst part of the prom was some of the male conversations I overheard. The worst being one held between Ralph, Aston, and Albert.

"So, you think you're date will give you a night to remember?" Aston offered the question but I didn't look to see who it was directed at.

"I don't think so, but then she was a last minute selection. Ashley dumped me last week claiming I was too possessive and pushy," I could tell that was Ralph replying.

"You should have asked Jackie instead, and then this would be night you would never forget," Albert chortled.

"Jackie Camberton?" Aston asked.

"Yeah, she's a pro and can teach you everything you need to know about pleasing a woman." Albert stated.

"How do you know?" Aston asked again, and I could hear the interest in his voice.

"Every member of the football team knows about her, and most seniors have had at least one lesson from her." Albert laughed again.

"I bet Emmett Cullen hasn't had a taste of her, and why would he need to with that blonde bombshell of his," Ralph snorted.

If they weren't careful what they said about Rose, Emmett would barge into their tight little circle and make his objections known in a less than friendly manner.

"Yeah, well I bet she could teach a guy a thing or two about pleasing a woman also, but I doubt she is willing to teach anyone but him. Besides, I'm not about to face him again after last time," Albert retorted. "At least Jackie is open and willing to all offers. You would be surprised at how much there is to making a woman pleased, and once she is pleased, she will please you even more."

"I take it that means you've had your turn with her," Aston said.

"More than once, let me tell you. As I said, you cannot even begin to imagine what she can teach you." Albert replied.

"And you went back for a repeater course?" Ralph asked him.

"Hell, no, I went back for advanced education," Albert laughed.

"Edward, what had you so sidetracked?" Bella's soft voice broke into the overheard conversation.

"I'm sorry Bella. I thought I heard something, but it wasn't anything." I gazed at her as I pushed aside the male voices.

"Well, I was wondering if we could go outside for some fresh air. It seems a little stifling in here." She said as she looked at me with those mystifying deep brown eyes.

"Anything you want," I offered as I stood up, pulled out her chair, and then held out an arm for her.

"There goes the third most beautiful girl in the room," Albert proclaimed to his friends.

"Yeah, and why do the Cullens get all the beautiful girls?" Aston did have a point, but Albert was wrong because Bella was more beautiful than my sisters.

"Well, he can have her. Have you met her father? He's the kind of person who shoots first and asks questions second," Ralph retorted.

So, I thought, Ralph had some kind of meeting with Bella's father. It made me wonder where he met the man, but I also laughed softly at the comment realizing it was a true statement.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Bella?" I asked as we walked out into the refreshing night air.

"Only because I'm with you," she offered, "But I'll be happy to get home and take these accursed shoes off."

"Come on, I think I have a solution," I said as I steered her to the car. Once there, I opened the passenger's door and ushered her into the seat but I didn't allow her put her feet in. Instead, I held each foot up, removed the offending shoe and then helped her to put her leg and foot in the car. After both shoes were removed, I threw them in the back seat, shut her door, and said, "I'll be right back." I rushed into the building, found Jasper, and asked him to ride home with Emmett and Rose, then I was back to the car before Bella had time to really miss me.

"Let's go for a drive," I suggested to Bella, and received an affirmative reply from her. I drove us the park where our story actually began and parked. Then I had her put her feet in my lap and I massaged them.

"You have magical hands just like Uncle Peter," Bella crooned softly.

I took that as a complement and laughingly replied, "I had hoped my touch would be more romantic and pleasing than his."

"There is nothing romantic about Uncle Peter, so you win for romance, but he does have more training than you in the massage department, but right know I would not have him trade places with you. I want you massaging my poor tortured feet."

"The shoes were that dreadful?"

"You try walking and dancing in three inch heels for an evening, and then tell me how enjoyable it is," she snorted.

"I will take your word for it," I offered not wanting to even think about standing on my toes for an entire evening.

"Make me one promise, Edward," she asked through a moan of pleasure as I rubbed her feet.

"Anything," I replied without thinking because that moan shot an answering pleasure through me.

"Never allow Alice to force me into heels again."

"I will honestly try to rein Alice in when it comes to shoes Bella, even if it means I have to hide her bankbook," I chuckled, but I wasn't sure even that would stop Alice from doing just as she pleased.

We did not return to the dance, I did not make Bella put her shoes back on, and when I stopped at the curb by her house, I carried her up to the front door while she held the offending shoes in her hand. I was fortunate that her father did not meet us at the door because I did not want to explain why I had been carrying Bella. Instead, the outdoor light was on and so was the entryway light. I kissed Bella chastely after setting her down inside the door, said goodnight because I could hear her parents up in their room, and then whispered so only Bella could hear me, "I'll see you in a little while."

Bella leaned toward me, kissed my nose, said goodnight with a wink, softly closed the door, and turned out the lights.

I did learn one fact as a result of the prom, or actually because of the overheard conversation. I was in need of having a serious talk with Carlisle about a sensitive topic, and it was one I did not wish to have with Jasper and definitely not Emmett. It was a conversation my human father hopefully would have had with me on the day of my wedding, but I decided I would seek out Carlisle long before then.

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AN: A review will let me know what you thought about the chapter.


	55. Chapter 55 Road Trip Part 1

**AN: I apologize that this took so long, but on a happy note, Emmett's tale is three chapters long and all three are finished. I will post one every two weeks, giving time for school work, work work, and working on the chapters after that.**

**Same disclaimer as usual; I don't own Twilight or the regular Twilight characters. With that said, I hope everyone will enjoy this chapter.**

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Journal Supplement: Road Trip – Part 1 [June 1959 by Emmett Cullen]**

It was the first really beautiful summer day after school finally ended, and Rose had spent the morning in the garage tuning up all the vehicles including my Harley. I had only been able to ride it once since Christmas because of the weather, but I still hadn't convinced Rose to ride with me. All morning I had been trying to talk her into taking just one ride. I wanted to take it out on the open road and put it through its paces to see what it could really do.

"Aw, Rose, you'll enjoy the feel of all that power between your legs as we're flying down the road," I coaxed in my most cajoling tone as we walked into the living room. I noticed Bella was on the sofa with her legs pulled up to her chest and her chin resting on her knees; Edward was next to her with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. On the other sofa, Alice and Jasper were sprawled out entwined in each other's arms.

"I already enjoy the feel of power between my legs. I don't need any more," Rose retorted as she gracefully sat down in on the living room chairs. Her look and tone told me all I needed to know; she was frustrated with all my nagging, but I still really wanted to feel her sitting behind me with her arms wrapped around my waist.

In retaliation, I sat down on Bella's vacant side, and laid my hand on her knee. I had learned in the first few months of our acquaintance that her knees were ticklish if I touched them lightly – it was one way I learned to touch her in a gentler manner so as not to accidentally hurt her. It was also fun to make her laugh; she did have a pleasant laugh.

Before I squeezed her knee the way I knew would make her laugh, a thought came to me, if I couldn't have Rose seated behind me, then I would settle for second best, so I said, "You'll go for a ride with me, won't you Bella." I didn't need to beg or coax because I instinctively knew she would agree. I then saw the look Edward was shooting at me. I could see his jealousy because I was touching her, and I saw his displeasure as a result of my request. So I sent him a silent message. 'Remember the Kool-Aid bet? I'm calling it in. I get to take her if she chooses.' Oh boy, did he give me a dirty look about that.

"You're on Emmett, but only if you don't squeeze my knee," she replied with a huge smile.

"Why would you do that Emmett?" Rose asked as she looked over at us and finally noticed I had my hand on Bella's knee. Her face instantly glazed over in anger.

"She's ticklish," I smiled back pleasantly in the hopes of wiping that evil glare off her face. As if I'd touch my little sis for any other reason.

"Emmett," Bella nearly shrieked, "You promised."

No, I hadn't forgotten, but I just couldn't stop myself from sharing her weakness. Soon enough, she would be one of us, and then I would share everyone else's weakness with her. I would start with Edward's. He was extremely ticklish on his ribs, so just touch him caused him to practically fall on the floor laughing, and she might enjoy learning that Alice had sensitive elbows. I could just run my finger along them and she'd be rolling on the floor.

"Bella, are you sure about this. What if you father saw you riding around town with Emmett? He'd definitely stop your visits to our house." I could see Edward searching for a way to stop her, but he knew it would be her choice and not his.

"It's okay, Edward. Dad is gone again this week to some secret meeting, and mom won't be out and about in town today. Something about an appointment she had that will keep her busy all afternoon." She paused a moment before she continued. "It's kind of odd how dad has had all these work related meetings and mom has been having some kind of appointment or meeting of her own. It's almost as if I'm the only one who seems to be around the house lately."

"Unless you're over here hanging out with Edward," Jasper quipped.

"So you've noticed. Is that why you've been keeping Alice occupied so she stops dressing me up?" Bella shot back with a laugh and huge smile.

As Bella bantered with Jasper, I watched Edward who seemed to be fighting an internal battle not to forbid Bella to go with me. I had noticed that Edward was more cautious lately about telling her no, but it was still a struggle for him especially when it seemed to concern me. I don't think he completely trusted her with me, but I wanted to prove to him that she would be just as safe with me as she would be with him. Besides, I wouldn't mind riding around with Bella behind me. She was not as beautiful as Rose, but she was still good company, and she knew how to have fun. I loved to hear her laugh, and it was best when I was the one making her laugh. She was so like my little sister who I lost when I became a vampire. She was easy to talk to; we could talk and laugh about anything and everything. Sometimes I would even bring up topics that I knew would make her blush just because it was so fun to watch. She could turn more shades of red than I thought possible for a human.

"Edward, I will take good care of her. I would never let her be harmed," I informed him. I decided I could at least try to reassure him.

Bella turned to Edward and caressed his cheek as she said, "Please, Edward, it would be so much fun, and Emmett is more careful around me than you are sometimes. Besides, Emmett would never do anything to intentionally harm me, and I trust him"

I watched him melt at her touch and knew she had won, but I also saw the slight frown that crossed his brow when she said I was more careful than he was at times. Despite that small slip, she was good, almost as good as Rose, and I suspected, after her change, he would be putty in her hands just like I was around Rose most of the time. Maybe I would need to give him a few tips on how to resist her charms when he really needed to. On the other hand, he might enjoy falling completely under her charms.

"I don't like the idea, but if this is what you really want, then I won't stand in your way," Edward told her as she continued to stroke his cheek. "I do have one request though." He added as he looked at me. "You need to buy Bella a helmet and make her wear it."

"That is not a bad idea," I grabbed Bella's hand, "Come on Bella, let's you and I go shopping." I then turned to Alice, "and no you cannot come along," I told her firmly, which earned a small giggle from Bella.

"But I will," Edward added as he got up holding Bella's other hand.

I chuckled, "What, you don't trust me?"

"No, I just want to watch Bella shop for something that she might enjoy buying," Edward smiled, but I noticed a hint of dread behind his look.

The three of us walked out hand in hand, but I noticed a slight scowl on Rose's face as we headed out. I wondered if she regretted her decision not to ride with me, but I decided I would not give up on this new plan of taking Bella for a ride with me. Maybe, I thought, we could go to Seattle or better yet, up toward the mountains where the roads would be less traveled by others. Then I could really open up the throttles and see what my motorcycle could do.

Edward decided Bella looked best in a blue helmet, and just to make us look more like a couple, and to irritate Edward somewhat, I bought a helmet for myself and a leather jacket for Bella. I used the argument that the jacket would help keep Bella warm from the wind and protected from any bugs that might hit her. For Edward, the key word was protected, for Bella, the key words were 'to make Edward happy,' which I whispered softly when Edward had wandered off to look at gloves. Bella and I both rejected the gloves, and we won out only because I pointed out that Bella would have a better grip on me with her bare hands.

Once our purchases were finally made, Edward drove us home where Bella and I made a beeline for the garage. I was ready to go, and Bella seemed to follow my lead.

"Please, Bella, be very careful. you're very precious to me, and I could not go on without you. I don't want you to get hurt in any way. If Emmett gets too reckless, call me and I'll come and pick you up no matter where you are." Bella was already seated behind me with her small hands wrapped around my middle. As small as Bella was, at least her arms reached all the way around my waist.

Bella laughed softly as she released me and motioned for Edward to approach her as she replied, "Edward, Emmett would never do anything that might jeopardize my health. He is almost as over cautious as you are. I'll be safe, so please stop worrying." As soon as he reached her side, he leaned down as she leaned toward him, and then she put her hands on both sides of his face, pulled him toward her, and kissed him on the lips. "I will be safe," she whispered fiercely in his ear.

Edward turned to me and said, "You have to promise not to drive too fast, to watch out for other drivers, and to shield Bella with your own existence, if the need occurs."

I couldn't help but laugh as I replied, "Yes mother, I promise."

He threw one last request, "And Emmett, please make Bella wear a helmet at all times. I don't want her beautiful face damaged in any way, shape or form."

I heard Bella laugh softly behind me at his comment, and then she shifted herself slightly behind me, wrapped her arms once again around my waist, and said, "I'm ready Emmett."

It was all the encouragement I needed to start my motorcycle and then drive off. 'She's my little sister, and I won't allow anything or anyone to harm her,' I thought for Edward to hear. I'm not sure why he didn't trust me with Bella, but the protectiveness I felt toward her would have overwhelmed him if he could have felt my emotions. Of course, Jasper could fill him in on those feelings, but only if Jasper decided to or if Edward were to ask him.

Once we were out of sight of the house and Edward, I opened the throttle up more so we were figuratively flying down the road. I didn't have a destination in mind but decided to head toward the mountains. It would be the last place Bella's mother would see us, and besides, the scenery would be beautiful, which I thought Bella would enjoy.

It would have been easy for me to talk to her while driving, but I wasn't sure if she would be able to reply, but half-way up the mountain road I was taking, I felt Bella's arms tighten around my waist.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Can we stop?" I heard her murmur into my back.

It was all she had to say. I slowed down, pulling over to the side of the road. Once we were stopped, I asked. "What's wrong?"

"This is rather embarrassing, but is there a rest area or something along this road?" She was still seated behind me with her arms wrapped around my waist.

Again, I had forgotten that Bella had human needs. I wanted to hit my head, but I had to consider Bella first. It took only a moment to remember that there was a tourist shop about ten miles up the road, and if I ignored the speed limit, we could be there in minutes.

"I could suggest the bushes." I joked remembering being in the woods around my home in Tennessee, but then added, "If you can wait a few more minutes, there is a place just up the road from here."

Bella laughed softly into my back, "I can wait a little longer," and with that, I took off.

Once we reached the little shop, I tipped the cycle enough for Bella to easily get off. She was in such a hurry she didn't even take off her helmet. I parked the bike and followed her in realizing she might need something to eat. There weren't very many choices, but behind one counter, there were some cookies. I ordered two and asked if they served anything to drink. The lady behind the counter pointed out a small cooler that had some of those small individual cartons of milk like I had seen served in the school cafeteria, so I picked up one of them also. As soon as Bella returned, I walked her outside and led her to a small picnic table I had spotted before entering the store.

"I thought you might be a little hungry," I said as soon as she sat down. I handed her the small bag with the cookies in it and the carton of milk.

"Thanks Emmett," she said. "I hadn't thought about lunch. This is nice." She opened the milk carton first, took a small sip, and then removed a cookie from the bag and ate it.

"You know, I never thought to ask before, but is there somewhere in particular you would like to go?" I really had been remiss in not asking that first. When we started, I didn't have anywhere particular in mind. I just wanted open road; I wanted to feel the speed of the cycle, and to see how fast it would really go.

Bella had just finished her first cookie; she must have been really hungry because she ate it in like three bites. After washing it down with a swig of milk, she looked at me and smiled. "Well, there is somewhere that I have always wanted to go, but I'm not sure it's feasible."

"You will never know until you tell where that might be," I replied.

She pulled out the second cookie, looked at it for a moment, then looked at me. She took a deep breath, and then said, "I've always wanted to see the Giant Redwoods. Do you think that's possible?"

"Well," I said looking at my watch, "It's just after one," no wonder she was hungry, "I think if I ignore the speed limit, we might make it by dark, but I'm not sure we will get home in time to please Edward," I warned her. I knew we didn't need to worry about her mom because Alice had arranged for Bella to stay with us for a week, which, once I learned that her dad was gone, made more since as to why her mom agreed to Alice's week long proposal. Of course, we all knew the arrangement was for Edward and Bella's benefit more that for any of Alice's plans.

"Leave Edward to me," she said before pushing the last of the cookie in her mouth and finishing her carton of milk.

"What about a proper lunch?" I asked wondering if she were still hungry.

"I'm fine. The cookies and milk are enough to hold me until supper," she replied with a huge smile.

"Okay, we'll do this but I have one condition," I added a little sternly.

Her smile drooped slightly, "What condition?"

"You have to tell me when you need to stop for . . ." I wasn't sure how to word it so it didn't sound improper or offensive to her.

I was fortunate because she said, "For any human needs I might have?"

I felt relieved that she finished the wording for me, "Yeah. You will right?" I then asked.

"Emmett," she smile had returned, "I promise to let you know if I need to stop for any reason whatsoever."

"Good, now let's get rid of this trash and then we'll be on our way," I said.

Bella murmured softly, "Giant redwoods," as she picked up her trash and dumped it into a trash can, "Wow, who would have thought." She had a slightly glazed look in her eyes and a huge smile spread across her lips.

I felt elated myself as I sat down on the motorcycle knowing I was going to be able to give Bella something she wanted, and that it was making her extremely happy.

I had a rough idea that it would take, normally, ten hours to reach Redwood National Park, but doing ninety-five miles an hour, I figured I could make better time. Of course, it still meant we would not reach home until tomorrow, and that was something I knew Edward would not like – a mild way of saying his temper would be compromised. This was Bella's trip, however, so I was willing to risk Edward's temper just to please my little sister.

As Bella climbed on behind me, I said, "You hang on tight because I'm going to set a speed record. I'll only stop for two reasons; the one because you need something, and the two because we need gas. Will that work for you?"

"Yes," she said right after she put her helmet on and then wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Remember, if you need anything, and that includes stopping to walk around or to look at the scenery, you will let me know." I didn't want to make it a direct order, but I did emphasis it a little to let her know I meant it.

"Yes, sir," she retorted and then laughed softly.

It was no wonder Edward fell in love with this girl. If I hadn't found Rose, it would have been easy to fall in love with Bella. She was playful, had wit and intelligence, and a very pleasing personality, but then again, so did my human sister, and I knew that was what drew me to Bella in the first place. I decided, as soon as we got home, I would thank Alice once again for befriending Bella and bringing her into our home.

It took us just under five hours to reach Grants Pass in Oregon, and we made two stops along the way; both were for Bella's benefit but I also took the opportunity to fill the gas tank at each stop. I found a small store in Grants Pass and used that opportunity to talk to the person in the store about a nice place to eat. Bella had cookies for lunch, so I decided she needed steak for supper. A good wholesome meal for my sister was my plan. I hadn't been in the store long when I heard voices from outside. As I listened more intently, I realized there were six distinct male heartbeats out by Bella.

"Hey little mama. Who's looking after you?" One of the voices asked, and another added, "What's your name?" I heard no response from Bella, but then a third voice added, "You're a real looker." I was not pleased with the way he commented on her being a 'looker;' I knew what he meant by that.

A fourth voice asked, "Are you all alone? We can keep you company."

"No, I'm not alone. My brother is inside. I think it might be wise if you didn't talk to me. He is extremely protective." I heard Bella's soft reply, but I noted a slight waver in her voice.

"Thanks for the information," I told the lady behind the counter who had given me the directions that I needed. It was time for the big brother to protect his little sister.

"Oh honey, we can take care of him. If you come with us, we can promise you a time you'll never forget." One of the voices crooned in an unpleasant manner, and I could hear the unspoken suggestions of violating Bella's innocence. "Yeah," in toned a new voice, "We'll take you on a real ride." I then heard the vulgar laughter of the other men with him.

I paused at the door for only a moment to look over the scene; I needed to make sure Bella would not be hurt if I needed to physically eliminate the men who thought they could handle me to get to Bella. Most of them looked to be in their late twenties, but none of them had my height. Carlisle kept exact health records for all of us because of school. I topped the chart at six foot six with a few minor quarter inches in there somewhere. My shoulders were broader than my hips, which always excited the football coaches until they learned I had an 'irregular heart rate' that kept me from being on the team. These men didn't stand a chance especially when I added my vampire strength to my assets.

"Sure, baby, you'll enjoy our company. In fact, why wait. We can leave now." A lanky brunette said as he reached out to grab her arm. I didn't need Edward's mind reading skills to know they would take her by force if they needed to.

I pushed open the store door, "I wouldn't touch her if you value your life," I warned with a slight growl while I sneered bearing my teeth in a manner that said 'hands off if you want to live.'

"And just who is going to stop me?" The guy said as he turned around. I could see the arrogant look on his face, which lost some of its bold assurance that he would win any fight he started once he took in my total appearance.

I made sure I flashed my sharp white teeth as I retorted, "No one manhandles my little sister."

There were four men standing near her, and from the look of them, they were all on the rather puny side when compared to me. If I compared them to Edward, two of them would look brawny while the other two would resemble his build, but that still made none of them a match for me. I could easily break them like matchsticks if they insisted on a fight.

"If you know what is good for you, you will all back away from her," I snarled causing two of them to back away immediately. The other two looked at each other, then at me, and decided to join their buddies. I stepped past them to Bella and asked, "They didn't hurt you did they sis?"

She smiled up at me and said, "I'm alright. Can we go now?"

"Sure," I kept my voice quiet and soothing for her, but shot a fierce look back at the men who thought they had a right to make rude comments and invitations to my little sister. I threw my leg over the motorcycle starting it quickly and tipping it enough making it easy for Bella to get on. I then waited for her to put her helmet on and get comfortable, and as soon as her arms were securely around my waist, we left.

I put at least twenty miles between us and them, and then pulled over to the side of the road. "Bella, are you really okay?"

"I was a little scared, but I knew you would hear and come out right away. I trusted you Emmett, and I knew if they had tried anything, you would have ripped them apart," she told me as she leaned her warm cheek against my back and gripped my waist a little tighter.

If I could have blushed, her comment about trusting me would have caused it. I felt a new warmth growing inside of me but not from the warmth that radiated off her. No, this warmth was from the fact that she trusted me enough to stand before those men without screaming or crying out in fear. She trusted me enough to know that she didn't have to fear them because I would take care of her. If I had a working heart, it would have swelled with pride, but since I didn't, I still felt my pride swelling.

"Thank you Bella," I told her. "Now hold on, I know the perfect place to take you for a great supper," and then we were on our way. Thanks to the woman at the store, I learned there was a very nice restaurant in Crescent City, California that served excellent meals. According to the woman, it was only about two hours away, but I wanted to reach there in enough time so Bella could sit down and enjoy her meal.


	56. Chapter 56 Road Trip Part 2

**AN: Emmett's second installment of his trip with Bella reveals more than Edward really wanted her to know, but then Bella had a right to share what she needed to know. Hopefully you will enjoy this section of the story as well as the last one.**

**As always, I do not own these characters, but I do own the AU story plot, and Rose wants everyone to remember she owns Emmett.**

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Journal Supplement: Road Trip – Part 2 [June 1959 by Emmett Cullen]**

It took me only one hour to reach the city limits, and following the woman's directions, I easily found the restaurant.

"Come on Bella, you need food," I chuckled as I held the motorcycle still so she could get off. We hung the helmets on the handlebars, and then I took her arm and led her inside.

As the waitress was seating us, I told Bella, "Why don't you go clean up and I'll order." Her reply was a nod and she left. I was happy to order for her because I knew exactly what she needed, the problem was ordering for me. I ended up asking for a menu, and then noticed there was a couple's plate – meaning there was enough on the plate for two people – for the item I wanted to order, so I ordered that.

The order was placed before Bella returned, and I noticed her clean face, which cause a small smile to form on my lips; being on the open road on a motorcycle did have a tendency, I noticed, to cause one's face to become dirty, at least for humans. Because vampire skin has a different texture than human skin, dirt didn't adhere as easily to me while we had been driving, a smirked a little realizing the advantage of being a vampire.

As Bella took her chair, which I held for her like a gentleman – Edward was not the only one who had manners – she asked, "So, what did you order?"

After seating her and taking my place, I replied, "I ordered a couple's dish, so we'll share the meal, that way I can get rid of my share and leave you enough so we could take it with us so you'll have breakfast tomorrow."

She smiled, "What if I want pancakes in the morning?"

I laughed; leave it to Bella to be difficult. "Well, I guess I'll take you some place that serves pancakes."

She laughed in response. Bella's laugh was always rather airy and light; I enjoyed her laugh and was pleased to hear it often – funny, I still enjoy her laugh.

"Really, what did you order to eat?" She asked again.

I really wanted it to be a surprise, so I said, "Meat and potatoes, I was always a meat and potatoes person as a human, and right after you eat, we'll find a place to stay tonight, and then we have to call Edward. You realize he is going to be really mad."

"It'll be okay Emmett. I'll explain everything to him, and he will calm down. Besides, I haven't been hurt, and I'm having a great time," she gave a slight laugh with the last comment, and her eyes seemed to have an extra glow in them.

"Well, I hope you're right. A mad Edward is not a pretty sight. You must realize before you came along it usually took a lot for him to become upset," I replied.

"What do you mean 'usually took'?" She asked leaning across the table a little.

"Well, before he met you," I was hoping she wouldn't take this wrong, "he didn't get upset very easily, and I would know because I was generally the one trying to rile him up. Now, if he thinks someone or something has upset or hurt you, he seems to go over the edge – easily. It does not take much to upset him when it comes to you."

She frowned first, and then grimaced. "Why does he do that?" She asked softly. "I don't mean to upset him or to cause him to fret about me."

"Fear Bella," she gave me a look of disbelief at my words. "No really, he is afraid he will lose you, and he knows he will never survive the loss."

"I guess I don't understand," she said, and then sat back in her chair as the waitress brought out our food. She waited until the waitress left, and then said, "Steak. I've never had steak before. Dad always said we couldn't afford it, and if we went to visit friends or relatives and they served it, it was only for the adults. Kids ate hot dogs. I started to hate hot dogs because of that."

"Well, you've reached adulthood because tonight you're eating steak," I laughed, "and not just any cut. Rib eye is the best cut of steak there is. I just hope you like your meat medium."

The waitress had brought out one plate with the food on it, which she placed in front of me, and an empty plate that she placed in front of Bella.

Bella slid her plate next to mine, picked up her knife and fork, and reached over to cut off a piece of meat. "I guess we'll find out soon enough," she said as she cut off a piece of the meat. After placing the piece of meat on her plate, she also took some of the mashed potatoes and peas that came with the meal, and then slid her plate back to her side. I noticed the meat still had a deep pink color to it so I knew it had been cooked just like I asked.

I watched as Bella cut a small piece of meat and placed it in her mouth. Then I waited for her reaction.

"Um," she said while chewing the meat, but waited until she swallowed it before she said, "This is delicious. I love the taste, and the meat is so tender. Is it always like this?"

"If it's rib eye, it is," I replied with a huge grin.

"Well, this is delicious," she said again as she finished another bite.

"Not too undercooked?" I asked. Some people believed in turning their meat into charcoal before eating it.

"No, this is perfect. I love the juices coming out of it, and the pink color. How do you order it so it comes out this way?" She asked as she sliced another piece, put it in her mouth and slowly chewed it. I could tell she was savoring all of its rich flavor. Just by watching her, I was beginning to remember eating steak when I was human.

I had to pull myself away from my human memory to answer her question. "If it is a good cook, you order it medium and this is how it will be, but sometimes it comes out medium well, meaning the pink is all gone, and this tells you the cook isn't very good at what he does. If you order it medium rare, then it is even pinker and sometimes part of the meat will look just slightly undercooked or almost rare, but if you let it sit just a little the internal heat will take away some of that raw look," I informed her.

She looked at me with surprise, "How do you know so much about meat?"

"Why is that surprising?" I asked with a smile and a slight laugh.

"Because you don't eat meat no matter how it is cooked," she replied before cutting another piece. It was very evident she liked what I had ordered for her, though I noticed, she still hadn't touched her potatoes or peas. "It seems that you prefer your meat . . . well, um . . . bloody, shall we say." She had lowered her voice and seemed rather cautious in her wording toward the end.

"I wasn't always," and I lowered my voice as I leaned toward her so only she could hear me, "a vampire."

"So tell me about this life with meat," she was reaching over to slice off another piece of steak so I slid the plate toward her to make it easier. She still hadn't touched the rest of the food, and I suspected she never would.

"Well, back then I loved meat and the bloodier the better. I told Rose that to right after my change, but she decided I only told it her that to make her feel better about having Carlisle change me. I swear though, Bella, it is the truth. I would have my mom sear one side of the meat, flip it over, and sear the other side, and the juice is not really blood, but the natural juice of the meat. I loved my meat as rare as possible without being raw on the outside."

Bella laughed, slightly choked on the piece of meat she was chewing, took a sip of her milk – of course I choose a healthy drink, and then said, "Haven't you heard that eating raw meat can kill you."

"I doubt my food would ever have killed me. I was too healthy." I was serious about what I was saying, but Bella began to laugh softly again, at least this time her mouth was free of food.

"Emmett, did you ever eat bear meat?" She asked around her laugh.

"Anytime I could kill one, and deer too." I told her.

"Edward said you were mauled by a bear is that correct?" She asked.

"Yes," I wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"And you would have died from the incident if Rose hadn't brought you to Carlisle to change you?" She still had a huge smile on her face, but she had stopped eating.

"Yes," was my only reply.

"Well, then your food did kill you," she laughed.

Sad to admit, I was a little slow with her comment, but then I realized, if I had had my gun, that bear would have become supper and then some for the family. Bear meat makes great food, so in this case, my food killed me before I could have killed him.

Once I realized that, I laughed causing those around us to look over at us, but Bella didn't mind because she was laughing too.

The rest of the meal was spent making small talk so we wouldn't attract any more attention, and by the time the meal was over, Bella had finished all of the steak. To make it look more believable, we divided the potatoes and peas between the two plates, pushed the food around to make it look like we had sampled them, and then called for the check.

The waitress asked about dessert, but Bella declined saying she couldn't eat another thing so I paid the bill, and we walked out to the motorcycle.

"The waitress really had a thing for you," Bella whispered as we walked outside.

"What?" That comment had surprised me.

"Didn't you see the way she was staring and batting her eyelashes at you?"

"No, I never even noticed her," I admitted truthfully.

"Poor girl," she sighed. "Is that because of what Alice and Edward were trying to explain to me about the feelings you have for the one you love?"

"Yes, but let's not talk about that here. First, let's find a place for you to sleep, and then we'll call Edward before he comes hunting for us."

We had arrived in Crescent City around six in the evening, and it was slightly after seven when Bella finished supper. I knew Edward was going to be more than just angry, so as soon as I found a real hotel, motels were just too cheap, and got us registered, I dialed home.

"Emmett?" Edward yelled.

"Hello to you too," I replied. I hoped no one else had called the house or their eardrums might have been damaged.

"Tell me Bella is fine, and where the hell you are!" Before that moment, I had never heard Edward cuss, so it was a definite indicator of how irate he really was.

I hadn't meant for Bella to hear, but Edward's voice was loud enough that she held out her hand mouthing, 'Let me have that.' I was very happy to hand the phone over to her.

"Edward," she said softly, "I'm fine, and this is not Emmett's fault, it's mine."

"Why aren't you home yet?" He had moderated his voice and was no longer yelling. The nice thing about vampire hearing was that no matter how softly Edward spoke, I would still be able to hear him.

"You are not allowed to get upset with Emmett, but here is what happened," Bella started.

"You did get hurt," he started.

"Stop Edward, just listen and stop jumping to conclusions." She paused and I figured it was to see if he would listen without interrupting. When Edward remained silent, Bella continued. "We were headed up to Mt. Reiner and Emmett stopped for lunch." I chuckled under my breath because that lunch consisted of two cookies, but I noticed Bella omitted that fact. "While I was eating, Emmett asked me where I would like to go, and I told him. Now, don't get mad at him because this was my request. I told him I have always wanted to see the Redwood forest, and Emmett was kind enough to take me to see them. Right now we are in a room in Crescent City, and tomorrow I'll get to see the giant trees," her voice, as she began to talk about the forest and her desire, rose with the delight she felt about having this happen. "Oh Edward, do you know what this means to me?" She gushed and her smile was so large it covered her face.

"But you are safe, right?" I heard him ask again, but his voice was softer this time.

Bella's soft laugh filled the room as she replied, "Perfectly safe, and Emmett bought me a great meal." She paused momentarily. "Edward, I never knew steak tasted so great. It is the best taste I've ever encountered."

"Better than anything else you have every tasted?" He definitely had calmed down because I could hear a slight teasing laugh in his tone.

Bella looked at me for a moment, and then turned her back as she said, "Well, there is one taste that is better." I saw a red flush creep up the back of her neck.

"And what exactly is that?" His teasing tone was still audible.

"You of course," she whispered, and this time I knew Bella was blushing because the back of her neck turned an amazing shade of scarlet.

"I think I'll take a walk," I stated as I started toward the door.

I was close enough that Bella was able to twirl around, reach out, and grab my arm. Her swift movement surprised me for two reasons. One, she moved faster than I thought possible for her, and second, she was still standing upright. A move like that usually landed her on the floor on her backside because of her clumsiness.

"Bella, I miss you," he stated softly.

"And I miss you, but this was a chance of a lifetime, and Edward, I really want to see those trees. I want to be able to walk among them and touch them and know that they are real. I've seen them so often in pictures, and knowing how close they are – well, I really want to have this experience, so please . . . don't be upset at me." Her voice was soft mellow plea, and I could almost see Edward melting at her request.

I chuckled to myself as I realized she had the persuasive power to ask any thing of him, and he would bend to her will. I then realized Bella same power over me; that would explain why we were here in a hotel room at that moment. All she had done was ask me to take her farther than I had originally meant to, and I, of course, agreed. Even though I was the one who had asked her if she wanted to go anywhere special, there was something special about Bella that just made me want to give her anything she asked for.

How many times had I encountered that same feeling for Rose? When she really wanted something, then I wanted to be able to give it to her, and I could. Although Rose was not physically there in that hotel room, felt I my insides tighten up with the desire to do anything she asked. We were putty in the hands of our woman – that's what real love did to you.

"Bella, my only concern is for you safety, but if you're sure this is what you want, then I will not deny you this experience. Just promise me that you will stay safe," Edward replied.

"I promise, and thank you Edward. Emmett assures me that we will be home tomorrow night, but it might be a little late." She paused slightly before adding, "Edward, I love you with all my heart and soul."

"As do I Bella."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, my love," and with that he hung up the phone. Bella held onto her end a little longer before she finally replaced the receiver on the cradle.

"Emmett thanks for staying," Bella said. She had let go of my arm as soon as she realized I wouldn't walk out the door.

"Well, I thought it might get a little steamy in here and that you might want some privacy," I chuckled.

"Oh come on, Edward and I never get that bad. Maybe I should have given you the phone so you could have talked to Rose. Then I might have needed to leave the room," she chuckled in return as she sat down cross-legged on the bed.

"I don't know about that. According to Jasper, the two of you might give Rose and me some competition when you finally get married. Of course, Edward will need to change you first or it will end in disaster," I laughingly replied as I plopped down on the edge of the bed.

Bella blushed at that, but asked, "Does Jasper really know everything that I'm feeling?"

"I'm afraid so, unless he leaves the house and puts some distance between himself and whoever is omitting the strong emotions. I've noticed he leaves the house a lot when Rose and I retire to our room." Of course, and I didn't tell Bella this, there were times when he just pulled Alice into their room. Jasper had ways of working off some of those strong emotions.

"Emmett, what you said earlier about Edward and him being afraid, what did you mean by that?"

For a human, Bella had a very good memory when she wanted to, and this was a comment I had hoped she would forget.

"Bella, when a vampire falls in love, it changes everything for him or her. If we really lived, you would call it a life changing experience, and in a manner of speaking, it is. Nothing is ever the same for us once we find the one person that we're really meant to love and be with for eternity. Once that change occurs, the love we feel will never change. Vampires never experience love for anyone else like that again. I can love you and Alice as sisters, and Edward and Jasper as brothers, and of course Carlisle and Esme as my parents, but I will never love anyone else like I love Rose. She is my existence and my reason for surviving. Because of her, I don't see other women with that kind of desire, need, or even curiosity. Rose never has to fear that I would cheat on her because I will never experience a desire for any other woman in that way."

"Is that true of all vampires?" She asked staring at me with a look of awe.

"Yes. The person you fall in love with possesses your entire being. You're entire existence revolves around them. During Rose and my first few years together, I had a hard time being away from her. I couldn't even go hunting without taking her with me. All my thoughts, needs, and desires revolved around her. My need for her was so strong that I felt pain when we were separated."

"Is that what Edward is feeling?"

"Possibly, but Jasper is there and can help relieve some of the pain."

"Are you feeling like that now?"

"No, after a few years, it becomes a little easier because you realize the person you love is not going to leave you or change their mind about how they feel."

"Is that why you said Edward does what he does because of fear?"

"Yes, with you still being human, he has a lot to fear. Anything could happen to take you away from him while you're human; you could change your mind about how you feel about him or suffer a fatal illness or accident. You see his love is set in stone. He will love you forever . . . for all eternity . . . and that will never change because that is how vampires are. Humans, however, are constantly changing and shifting the way they think, feel, and act. He fears you might someday find someone that you love more than him, and then he would lose you, and he is too honorable to stop you from living the life you choose. Even then he would not stop loving you, but losing you, even if he gave you up, would cause him unending pain."

"Doesn't the pain ever stop?" I saw concern written in her eyes.

"No, just like the love does not stop neither does the pain. For some vampires when they lose their mate – and this is something I've never seen but Carlisle has – the pain drives them mad, and they become rogues – living only to kill and inflect pain on others. For some, the pain causes them to pull into a shell where no one or nothing can reach them. They truly become the living dead, and many are so indrawn in that shell that they will eventually starve to death."

"Emmett, that's awful." She uttered under her breath.

"More than you realize, because starvation can take years as the venom in our bodies slowly eats away at our system and finally slowly liquefies our skin. In a sense, and I know this sound nasty, we melt away."

"That's so sad," she said, and then looked at me and asked, "Does that happen very often to vampire couples?"

"Fortunately, no; remember, it takes a lot to kill us." I wanted to give her a measure of reassurance that this would not happen to her or Edward. "You love Edward, so I don't see any problem for either of you. It's just that you need to survive until Edward can change you, and I can assure you that he has every intention of doing just that."

"So, right now he is just feeling this separation pain?" She asked solemnly.

"Yes, and he is concerned that I won't be able to protect you should something life-threatening happen. He worries, maybe too much for his own sake and too much for yours as well. The family keeps reminding him to lighten up, but until you are no longer human, that is something he is going to struggle with."

"Thanks Emmett, I think I understand this situation better, and I promise to try to avoid all life-threatening instances while I'm in your care," Bella laughed softly, but I could see she still felt bad about causing Edward pain. I understood her feelings, because I had felt that way at first when I realized that I would cause Rose pain if I left her for too long.

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AN: I wish to thank everyone for the kindest reviews on the last chapter. You guys are great, and I appreciate every one of you who takes the time to leave me even a few words of encouragement.  
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	57. Chapter 57 Road Trip Part 3

**AN: Disclaimer first – I don't own the Cullen family or Bella.**

**Next: Updates are slow, I know, but two college classes, six papers/projects, working a full-time job, and writing two stories is taking up a lot of time. Good news, next spring I'm only taking one college class, and my second story [for Labyrinth] is almost completed. I'm hoping that will mean I have more time for writing and updating this story. Don't worry, I have every intention of completing this story, and the story-line is already laid out. I know exactly where it is going; I just don't know the exact stopping point yet. I'll ask for a vote on that later.**

**So, without further ado, read and enjoy.**

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Journal Supplement: Road Trip – Part 3 [June 1959 by Emmett Cullen]**

I believed our talk helped Bella understand more fully just how binding a vampire relationship was; it was love, but it was also more than that. I knew that Alice had explained it to her a while back, but I didn't think Bella completely understood the full impact of what it meant to my kind when we met the one person we truly loved above all else. Her education in all things related to the vampire world was growing, and when Edward finally changed her, she would know ahead of time what to expect. That was more than the rest of us had when we were changed, and I personally hoped it would make the change easier and less confusing for Bella.

"So, what do you want to do now?" I asked. I wasn't sure how tired she was, and since it wasn't yet eight o'clock, I figured I might be able to find some way to entertain her.

"You know what I really want to do?" She asked but didn't wait for an answer. "I want to go to sleep and get up early so we can go down and walk the beach before we leave to see the redwoods. I think the earlier I get up the sooner we can head back home after I see everything. I don't want Edward worrying too much about how I am."

"Good idea, and just what are you planning to wear to bed?" I gave her my best leering look.

"Does it really matter? As your sister, I doubt I have much to fear from you," she chuckled.

I laughed at her observation. She was right though. I would be the perfect gentleman where she was concerned, and even if she stripped bare, I wouldn't look while she crawled between the sheets.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll go wash up, and then when I come out, you can look the other way while I climb into bed," Bella informed me.

I listened as Bella washed up and did her other human necessities, and wondered if she would miss any of it after she was changed. It caused me to think back to what I remembered of my human time, and it seemed all I really missed where my mother and my sister, the two I thought the most about while I was burning through the change. Most of my other siblings had moved on with their lives, living in other places, some starting families, and one had died because of an accident. I was the second child my mother had lost. It made me wonder if she had sent my brothers and father out to look for me and what they had found. I never asked Rose if she had arranged for my family to find any kind of human remains so they could put a closure to their loss. I had a feeling it would be hard for Bella to find a way for her parents to have closure after she was changed. She would be able to see them and talk to them for a while, but soon it would become obvious that she wasn't aging. Once that happened, she would have to break off contact with them. For me, it should have been easy for my family to believe I was dead if they found a mauled and half eaten body, and Rose's family also believed she was dead when she never came home from being out at night. Esme preferred that everyone believed she was dead. It was easier for Edward because he had no family to leave behind, so he didn't have to think about that after his change. So many thoughts had been rushing around in my head that it somewhat surprised me when I heard the click of the bathroom door.

"Are you looking the other way?" Bella asked through the crack of the slightly opened door.

I quickly turned and said, "Yes, and I promise not to look."

"Thanks Emmett."

I heard her soft footfalls as she crossed the room. I heard the sheets being pulled back followed by the soft moan of the springs as she crawled into bed.

"Okay Emmett, you can turn around now."

I chuckled softly. "I'll turn off the lights so you can go to sleep." I moved quickly, noticing how nice the room was just before I turned out all the lights. Despite the fact that Edward was less than pleased about us being gone so long, I knew he would be happy that I had found a comfortable place for Bella to spend the night. After completing my task, I then sat down in a chair that sat in the corner of the room.

"Emmett?" Bella's voice was soft and low.

"Yes," I replied wondering what was on her mind.

"Well, this is kind of embarrassing, but could you lie beside me. I'm afraid to be alone."

I chuckled softly before asking, "Are you afraid of the dark Bella?" I knew there where humans who harbored this fear, but I never pegged Bella as that type of person.

"It's not the dark Emmett, it's the sleepwalking," Bella murmured.

"Oh yeah, I remember that night." I had not thought about that being a problem. It had only happened once as far as I knew and I remembered it clearly.

"You saw?" her voice was soft but conflicted. I wondered if she was blushing at the thought that I had seen her walking in her sleep.

I laughed as the image of that night flashed into my mind.

"Well, you may find it funny, but I don't," she snapped.

"It's not that Bella. I was just realizing, thankfully, that even though you walk in your sleep, you cannot see the people in front of you."

"Exactly what does that mean?" She queried.

"Well, let's just say, I might have caused you to completely forget Edward when you saw all my shining glory on display."

"I don't understand," the confusion was very evident in the tone of her voice.

"Well, dear sis, all I was wearing was Rose's blouse tied around my waist, and although it covered what was important, it was also easy to see what was being hidden," I chuckled.

I heard her sigh from the bed before admitting, "Well, I'm glad I missed that honor." Her comment caused me to chuckle more deeply.

I got up from the chair and walked over to the bed. "As interesting as your nightly floorshows can be, Bella, I'm here to make sure that you are safe," I told her. "So, how do you want me?" I knew it sounded suggestive, but I couldn't help it. Riling Bella up at times just seemed to come naturally, but I knew she knew it was all in fun.

"Just lay down with your back to mine if that makes you feel more comfortable," she told me.

"Is that how Edward lays with you?" If it was, then I knew Edward was an idiot.

"No," Bella giggled. "Generally he faces my back wrapping his arm around my waist, and then he'll either lay his head on my shoulder or he'll turn his head so his cheek is lying against my back."

"Well, if Edward can do it, so can I," I informed her; besides, I thought, she is my little sister and I didn't have to worry about having any sexual feelings toward her. I moved so I could sit behind her and then lie down. Next, I positioned myself so my chest would be near her back, and then, I draped my arm around her waist.

"Thanks Emmett. I won't tell Rose if you don't tell Edward," she whispered softly, and once again, I laughed.

I thought it would be a long night, but lying there quietly, I began to think about Rose. I thought about the last time I had just cuddled with Rose. Usually when a bed was involved, we were much more active, but lying with Bella in this manner created a desire to do the same with Rose. It would surprise Rose, but I decided, after we returned home, I would do just that. In the same manner as I was lying with Bella, I would lie with Rose and just enjoy the fact that Rose was mine and she returned my love. I could see us cuddled together and talking. It didn't matter what we talked about, but anything would do as long as we just enjoyed the moment together.

It was fairly early in the morning when Bella's floorshow – or rather 'bedshow' – began.

"Trees," was the first word out of her mouth. "Lovely . . . waving . . . trees . . . talking . . . just magnificent." She seemed to scoot her body back against mine, and then held out her hands as if looking for something or expecting something. "Edward, don't be sad." I figured she was missing him. It had been a long day without him for her, and generally, he would be in my position at night. After a short pause, she continued, "I won't hurt . . . Emmett … catch me," and her body jerked causing me to tighten my hold on her waist and whisper in her ear, "I'm here Bella," and that seemed to calm her down because she fell back into a deeper sleep.

Around five, she began to move around in the bed. First, she flipped over so she was facing me, and then she removed her leg from under the covers and threw it over my hip. At the same time, she nestled herself closer to me and draped her arm around my neck. Finally, she murmured Edward's name. Instantly a thought came to me; if this was her normal routine with Edward, then I owed him an apology because he did have excellent self-control. Had Bella been Rose, things would have turned out much differently, but she wasn't so I remained absolutely still even as she continued to pull her body closer to mine. Everything changed within seconds when she used her arm around my neck to pull herself closer to me, and then her lips touched mine. As soon as our lips meet, she untangled her body from mine and 'jumped' away from me without moving off the bed. The funny part was that she didn't even wake up. Instead, she murmured, "Not Edward." I could see her fingers touch her lips, her brows scrunched up as if in deep thought, and then a slight smile crossed her lips as she whispered, "Emmie bear." Then she rolled over and pulled her bare leg under the covers before falling back to sleep. I chuckled softly to myself and would have gotten up out of the bed except that Bella then backed up toward me again, and as soon as her back met my chest, she said, "Cuddly bear," causing me to laugh again.

Around six, I started blowing cold air on Bella's neck and ear in an attempt to wake her up. She had said she wanted to be up early, but I wasn't sure what her concept of early was. At first she just swatted at the cold, but then she finally mumbled, "Stop it, Edward," to which I chuckled deeply.

Hearing my voice she quickly pulled away and rolled over to face me. I could see the confusion on her face, but her look changed as she remembered where she was. "What time is it?"

"Six in the morning," I replied cheerfully.

She moaned softly at my response so I told her, "You said you wanted to be up early. I thought this would be a good time."

She moaned again, and then mumbled, "Don't look."

Laughing for the umpteenth time that night, I responded, "Yes ma'am," while closing my eyes. I didn't get up until I heard the bathroom door close.

I puttered around the room a little, and then I decided to go out and check over the motorcycle while Bella did whatever it was she did in the morning. I noticed the sun had already begun to rise so I knew Bella would have a good look at the ocean. I had seen both oceans before but neither really impressed me – they were just water. I wasn't the romantic that Edward was – both oceans awed him.

As I checked over the motorcycle, my thoughts turned to Rose. I was not the mechanic Rose was; however, I knew enough to be able to check the oil and the amount of gas in the tank, which was what I did. I also spent a little time making sure the seat was dry so Bella would not have any moisture next to her skin, and then I went back into the room, Bella was fully dressed and sitting on the bed waiting for me.

"So, are you ready to see the ocean?" I smiled as I walked into the room.

_Now, Alice, after reading the first part of these chapters, said I should mention what Bella was wearing just so the reader doesn't think Bella was riding around on my motorcycle with a skirt on. I must admit, I hadn't thought about that earlier, but I had never really seen Bella wearing anything but skirts and dresses except for the time she was sick and Alice put that skimpy pair of pajamas on her. So, for those of you wondering, Bella was dressed in dungarees (courtesy of Alice, of course) and a nice button-down white shirt (also courtesy of Alice, but I think Edward as well since the shirt was slightly large for Bella and it carried Edward's scent on it). Alice was nothing if not efficient and practical about what one should wear for every occasion. Also, she must have foreseen the motorcycle trip because she had prepared ahead of time for Bella's practical outfit. _

"Ready whenever you are," she replied with a wide smile.

I took her hand and led her outside. The trip down to the beach was short, and the contented, "Oh," Bella whispered informed me that she liked what she saw. After getting off the motorcycle, she ran down to the edge of the ocean. I almost thought she was going to get her shoes wet – she stood that close, but as the next wave rolled in, she backed up enough to keep her feet dry. She spent the next half hour walking up and down the shoreline, while I sat against the motorcycle and watched. One thing I was realizing about Bella's company was that I smiled, chuckled, and outright laughed more, than I had since I was changed. I once again thought how lucky Edward was to have found Bella, not just for him but for the rest of the family. She was going to be a means of change within my family; I just didn't realize how much of a one she would be at that time.

When Bella was finally ready to leave, she walked up to me with a huge smile and said, "Thanks Emmett that was just so wonderful. I never imagined the ocean looking like that, and the smell is just beyond words. This was so much better than seeing pictures of the ocean. No picture can do justice to really being here. Too many senses are involved that words and pictures cannot express, they have to be experienced in person. I never really thought the air could smell so salty, while at the same time so wet."

Her enthusiasm flowed out through her words, tone, and the slight glow on her face and caused my smile to grow as I chuckled mirthfully.

As I laughed, she playfully slapped my arm and asked, "What's so funny?"

"Not funny," I was still grinning broadly, "It's just so enjoyable for me to see you so thrilled, and your face is glowing with happiness."

"Oh," she said. Then she reached out and began to walk her fingers up my arm, "Emmett, remember what you said last evening." I had said a lot of things the prior evening, so I wasn't sure which comment she meant, so I just stared at her as her fingers reached the top of my arm, and then she made them walk back down. "Well, I'll remind you," she stated as her fingers kept moving, "You said you'd take me some place for pancakes."

Her fingers had finished their walk down my arm and I notice the little pouty look around her lips, and her head was tipped slightly down so when she looked at me, she had to look up through her long lashes. It was the combination of her look and the action of her fingers walking up and down my arm that made me laugh.

"Bella, Edward doesn't have a chance with you," I proclaimed.

"I don't understand Emmett." This time she lifted her head so her eyes met mine.

"That little tease you just did. You realize that Edward would be falling at your feet and promising you anything if you did that to him." It wasn't hard for her to hear the humor in my voice, and her lips turned up slightly at my comment. "Have you been taking lessons from Rose and Alice?" I asked out of curiosity.

She blushed indicating I had discovered her secret. "Just a little," she finally admitted, "But please Emmett, don't tell Edward."

"Oh, believe me, I won't. I just want to be around when you use that little trick on him. Like I said, you'll have him falling on his knees begging you to tell him what you want, and he'll do everything in his power to give it to you."

"Anything I ask?" I saw disbelief in her eyes at my statement.

"Well," I had to amend my comment, I realized, "Anything safe, or at least safe for you," I said. "Come on," I sat on the bike and indicated her place, "Let's go get you some breakfast."

Earlier, I had looked in the phone book to find a good place to take Bella for breakfast, and that was where we went. If I was surprised by the fact that she ate the entire piece of steak last night, I was even more surprised by how quickly she devoured her pancakes, plus two glasses of milk. I had told the waitress I wasn't hungry and only ordered myself a glass of milk thinking I could find a way to dispose of it, but Bella took that concern away from me when she polished off my glass as well as hers.

In a little less than half an hour, we were headed toward the redwood forest, and Bella's grip around my waist was tight in anticipation of finally reaching her goal. She tried to talk while we were driving, but one thing she learned about motorcycles was that they were not conducive to conversation. With the wind whipping around us, her words were carried away behind us, and although I could hear her, she couldn't hear me, so she finally gave up and remained silent accept for the low squeals of anticipation I heard whenever we went past a sign indicating the remaining miles.

I saw the redwoods miles before Bella was able to see them, but I knew her excitement would peak the moment they came into view for her. I sped up as much as I dared, but the last thing I wanted to do was create any kind of danger for her. I knew the moment she saw them because of the squeal of delight that I heard from behind me. I stopped at the first visitor's site that presented itself. Bella would want to wander around the trees, and I decided it was time to hunt.

"Bella, I'm going to leave just for a little while," I told her after we parked and walked into the forest, "But if anyone approaches you and you feel threatened or in danger, you just call out. I'll be close enough to hear. Do you understand?" I needed her reassurance that she had heard me because her eyes looked slightly glazed over.

"If I feel threatened by anyone, I should call," she said as she finally focused her eyes on me instead of the trees. "I'll remember Emmett. Oh my, the trees are majestic." She turned her awed gaze back to the trees.

"Yes Bella they are," I said just before I left her. I knew it was a little unwise to leave her alone, but I also realized that my thirst needed to be satisfied before we left these woods.

It took me only fifteen minutes to track down a male bear, make him my meal, and then hide its drained carcass. It took less time to swiftly weave my way through the trees toward the spot I had left Bella, but before I reached it, I realized she was no longer there because her scent was weak. I carefully used my senses to track her down, but in the process, I detected a new scent that mixed with hers. Someone had joined her and had walked with her, and very possibly that person was still with her. The odd thing was that the second scent didn't smell human, nor could I identify the scent as another vampire – for that I was thankful but still cautious.

I actually heard Bella before I saw her.

"That is the most fascinating thing I ever heard," she said before a silence fell.

I walked stealthily waiting to hear any other sound, but the forest itself was silent. Finally, Bella said, "Why would you ask that?" She had to be speaking to someone, or for some unknown reason she was speaking to herself. I was behaving in a manner not generally in my nature. In any other situation, I would have just boldly walked to Bella's position, but something within me restrained my otherwise foolhardy nature, as Edward would proclaim it, so keeping within the shadows of the trees, I continued to advance toward her position.

"I don't hear anything." It sure sounded like Bella was replying to some unheard comment, but I couldn't hear any other voice and that baffled me.

"Do you really?" Still speaking to some unheard person, I cautiously peered around the massive trunk of an enormous tree to see who Bella could be speaking to, but I saw no one but Bella.

Bella's laughter rang clear, "That's not my boyfriend, that's my big brother." The sincerity in her words gripped my heart causing me to step out from behind the tree. "Emmett," Bella ran toward me, surprising me by not tripping over a single branch, twig, or tree root. Even more surprising was when she launched herself at me and ended up with her arms around my neck. Her launch caused me to reach out so I could catch her for fear that she might hurt herself. I laughed loudly because her actions suddenly reminded me of my human sister who had done exactly the same thing one day when I had returned from a weeklong visit to our oldest brother. My sister's joy at my return caused her to greet me in the same manner as Bella, even to the point where Bella lifted her feet up in the air as she bent her legs at the knees, and then pointed her toes to the sky so I could see the soles of her shoes. It's funny the things I remembered from my human life, but this was one that I had enjoyed so it played over during my change.

Even my next reaction reminded me of that day with my sister, because for some unknown reason of my own, I spun around in a circle as a held Bella. Finally, with both of us laughing, I gently set her down, and asked, "To what do I own that enthusiastic welcome."

Bella, now with both feet on the ground, replied, "I don't know; I just felt thrilled inside when I saw you."

I chuckled as I rubbed the top of her head, "Well, I was happy to see you as well."

"Emmett, did you see that lady I was talking to?" She looked around as if wanting to point her out to me, but I saw no other person in the area. Added to that, I noticed the normal sounds of the forest had returned.

"I honestly saw no one but you when I returned," I told her truthfully.

"She told me she was a forest ranger, but honestly Emmett, she was the most beautiful forest ranger I had even seen. Of course, she was the first woman forest ranger I had ever seen also." Bella took my hand and we began to walk. I followed her lead, which seemed unusual.

"Is that so?" I answered. To myself, I wondered why I hadn't been able to see this ranger Bella had been speaking to, and I was certain she had been speaking to someone when I approached even though I had seen and heard no one.

"Yes, she told me there were so many things in this forest that most people didn't see because they don't have an imagination, but she said I have a vivid imagination," Bella paused looking down at the ground as she walked. Then she looked up at me as she continued, "I think I saw something out of the corner of my eye when she said that, but when I turned to look at it directly, there was nothing there."

"Do you think you have a vivid imagination, Bella?" I looked at her curiously wondering just what she thought she might have seen.

"Yes and no; when I was young, I used to make up friends mostly because my father would not let me play with the neighborhood children because he was afraid I would get hurt. I also realized that those friends were only creations of my mind and not real. I could imagine them, but I could never hold on to them; they would always fade away, and the next time I would have imaginary friends, new ones would appear. Maybe it was vivid, but it wasn't very strong, not when you can't hold on to the images that you conjure up," she began to swing our hands as we walked. "Do you remember being a child?" She stopped and looked up at me.

"Bella, I remember very little about being human, but I remember my little sister. She is the strongest human memory I have, and you are so like her. She would talk about things like that, and she would always question herself and her beliefs, but you were both wrong to doubt yourselves. Like her, you are a strong person, and you have a very vivid imagination. Not only that, you are able to see truths when others would turn a blind eye to them. I bet you really understood what your Uncle Peter was the minute you first set eyes on him," I chuckled.

"Well, I did know there was something very different about him; something so different that I had decided I would somehow find out what it was. This lady ranger was different as well, but not in a way I can explain." We began walking again because Bella began to move.

"In what way was she different?" My curiosity was growing. If she could sense Peter's difference when he really was different, then I believed she sensed something different about this woman I could not see or hear, and I wanted to hear what her conclusions were in reference to this mystery 'ranger.'

"Well, it was the way she started talking about the trees."

I chuckled as I said, "Being a park ranger, I wouldn't have been surprised at her talking about the trees."

"No, she should talk about the trees, but what I meant was the way she talked 'about' them. She asked me what I thought of the trees and I gushed out, 'They are wonderful; they are the quintessence of beauty, magnificence, and grace.' Her reply was that the trees thanked me for my complementary words. At first, I didn't really pay any mind to the comment, but later I said something about wondering if the trees had felt pain when men had carved those giant holes in them so other men could walk through them for entertainment." Bella paused in her narration, stared down at the ground and then looked back up before she began again. "She told me the trees wept for the loss, not that it hurt, but that it was a violation and a loss that they could not stop. The way she said it almost made me cry; it was like I could feel what they had felt. I know that sounds funny, but that's how it seemed."

I noticed a lightening at the edge of the trees, and wondered just where Bella had been leading us. I knew I saw it before Bella did, my motorcycle, and I wondered how she knew the way to the parking lot since we had not been following one of the many trails that had been laid out for the tourists.

"Bella, I don't think any of what you've said sounds funny, and I believe you about all of this because I know that you are a very sensitive person. You are extremely sensitive and attentive to everything that happens around you. Who else would have sensed Peter's difference or connected his difference to Edward's difference. Who else would align herself to a family of vampires, and chose to have a vampire who is not only her boyfriend but is also courting her as his future wife."

"Wife," she whispered wistfully.

"Bella, who else would unknowingly walk through a dense forest and find her way back to the parking lot without needing a path, and if you will think back on it, you haven't tripped over anything since we began our return journey."

Bella chuckled lightly. "I feel like the trees have been whispering to me all along the way telling me where to go."

"See, you do have a vivid imagination," I replied with an echoing chuckle, but I didn't say she might really have heard the tree, because I was beginning to suspect that more had happened than I was able to completely understand at that moment.

Now that I could see the parking lot and the motorcycle, I began leading her because more than anything else, I wanted to leave the forest and take Bella home. I wasn't sure if Bella was safe remaining in these woods.

After we got settled, I asked, "Are you hungry? It must be about time for lunch."

"No, I'm fine. I had a large breakfast, so I'll be good until supper," she replied from her seat behind me.

"Are you thirsty?" Another human need I had to remember.

"No, that lady ranger gave me a drink while we were talking."

A sense of apprehension crept up my spine at her words, "What kind of drink?"

"Water of course – she said it was fresh spring water, and she had it in a canteen with a cap that she used as a cup. It was sweet, cold, and very refreshing. I never tasted water that good before." She said as she pressed her cheek against my back, "Emmett, I've had such a wonderful time, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you for taking me on this trip, but now I really want to go home. I'm beginning to miss Edward more than I thought possible in such a short time."

I chuckled at her comment about Edward, but I was suddenly beginning to miss Rose as well. "I'll make this return trip as short as possible without getting you killed or me getting a ticket. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," she murmured from behind me.

All the way home, I thought about the lady ranger I couldn't see or hear and the drink of sweet water that she had given Bella. It was something I would have to mention to both Edward and Carlisle. I was hopeful that Carlisle would have some clue as to what was going on.

**

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AN: Questions are welcome, but answers may not be to your liking; I will not give anything away. The next chapter, however, is from poor Edward's point of view.**


	58. Chapter 58 Missing Her

**AN: I don't claim ownership to the Cullen family or to Bella Swan, but the rest of the characters and the story line is mine for the most part.**

**I apologize for taking so long to post, I am not abandoning this story it is just that my Labyrinth story – that is now finished as far as writing goes – took over my time. I'm hoping I can spend a little more time on this story now. One thing I have to say for this story is that it is going places I had not predicted – leave it up to vampires to change your plans for you. Bella's life was more intricate than I thought.**

**Okay, so now on to Edward's time alone.**

**Journal Entry Forty-Three – Missing Her [June, 1959]**

This was going to be the perfect week; I would have Bella with me all week. That was until Emmett walked in with Rose having that ridiculous argument about her riding on his motorcycle with him. All Emmett wanted was for her to hold him tight as they flew down the highway on his Christmas present. He really had wanted to feel her behind him, but all Rose could envision was her hair becoming tangled because of the wind. She might have enjoyed giving Emmett what he wanted as a present, but she had no thoughts of sharing it with him.

As Emmett plopped ungracefully down beside Bella, I heard his thoughts immediately. 'Bella will go with me, and then we'll show Rose what fun she is missing out on,' and as his thoughts floored me, I watched him put his hand on Bella's knee. A rather intimate touch for just a brother and sister I thought.

The words were out of his mouth before I could stop him, "You'll go for a ride with me, won't you Bella." It was not a question.

His self-assurance that she would accept infuriated me, and what was worse I knew she wouldn't refuse. For me it felt like my heart had plummeted down to my feet. It was just something I couldn't allow, and then I looked at Bella's beaming smile of anticipation. How could I say no and cause that look to disappear, but how could I say yes and endanger her life? Before I could protest, however, Emmett nonverbally hit me with what he referred to as a 'trump card' the 'Kool-Aid' bet forcing me to bite back my words of protest.

Bella elatedly accepted to his request but added a prerequisite. "You're on Emmett, but only if you don't squeeze my knee."

Before I could ask what she meant by that, Rose asked the question. Once again, which was frustrating, Emmett showed that he knew Bella better than I did by mentioning that her knees were ticklish. It irritated me in a manner I was unfamiliar with, but it set my resolve to spend as much time that week discovering everything I could about Bella. I even decided to spend some time visiting with her mother asking about Bella's likes, dislikes, and idiosyncrasies. Esme had already shared with the family some of what Bella's mother had shared with her, but I noted a wall in some areas about the information as she spoke; it was as if she were intentionally hold back some information from me. I had tried to prod her hidden thoughts but she was not easily sidetracked into thinking about something she wanted to remain hidden.

The biggest question I had about Bella riding with Emmett, I suddenly realized, was 'did I trust Emmett enough to put Bella into his care?' I did have to admit he had never done anything intentionally to harm her, and he was always there for her when she needed him, especially when I was hunting. He had even been somewhat cautious with her while teaching her to ski, but I had been with them to monitor everything. This time I would not be along.

I bordered on telling her no, but then I recalled my 'trump card.' "Bella, are you sure about this. What if you father saw you riding around town with Emmett? He'd definitely stop your visits to our house." I knew Bella wouldn't want that to happen.

'That was low,' Emmett thought.

'Not happening Edward,' Alice threw at me.

'Overprotective much,' Rose thought, and I glared at her. This was her fault, I thought, all she had to do was agree to go with Emmett and the entire situation would be resolved.

"It's okay, Edward. Dad is gone again this week to some secret meeting, and mom won't be out and about in town today. Something about an appointment she had that will keep her busy all afternoon." I could see that she was slightly upset about that piece of information, but it was something else I needed to talk to her about, and knew I would have to postpone that conversation as well. "It's kind of odd how dad has had all these work related meetings and mom has been having some kind of appointment or meeting of her own. It's almost as if I'm the only one who seems to be around the house lately."

While Bella and Jasper continued their banter, I was busy coming up with another idea that would keep her home with me. I didn't want to lose any of the precious time I was being given with her.

Emmett, seeing me deeply in thought, said, "Edward, I will take good care of her. I would never let her be harmed." I knew he was trying to reassure me but I was still hesitant, bet or no bet.

As I focused on Emmett and his comment, I felt a small soft hand gently caress my cheek. "Please, Edward, it would be so much fun, and Emmett is more careful around me than you are sometimes. Besides, Emmett would never do anything to intentionally harm me, and I trust him." She flashed me one of her devastating smiles, and then turned to smile at Emmett. It didn't escape my notice that the smile she gave him didn't contain the same love as in the one she bestowed upon me.

For Bella's sake, I wanted to say yes. I knew she was right – Emmett would never put her in harm's way, but then I never meant any harm to come to her when she was around me. Nevertheless, that did not stop her from being shot by a hunter and breaking her arm since we had started dated. I hadn't been able to protect her either time.

When she touched me like that and smiled, I felt as if I melted inside and wanted to do everything I could to please her. I literally felt like putty in her hands, and for some unexplainable reason, I did not mind.

I watched as Emmett grinned first at me and then at her. He knew I was caving in. I knew if I explained to Emmett how I felt he would understand. She was my every thing, my reason for existing, and the love I felt for her bound me so tightly that I couldn't have escaped even if I had wanted to. Those invisible bands were just impenetrable, and I knew both my brothers and my father understood how I felt because all three of them were just as securely bound to their mates, but the major difference was they would never lose their mate to a simple accident. Bella was not immortal yet; she was still a breakable human and everyday the fear of losing her would creep into my mind. All the 'what ifs' that were possible plagued me day and night. Allowing her to go with Emmett was inconceivable but undeniable. She wanted to go, and I wanted to say no, but I could see it would devastate her.

Bella's enthusiasm to accompany Emmett and his reminder of the bet finally made me agree to the arrangement, even though I felt uncomfortable about it, so I mustered up superhuman strength and said, "I don't like the idea, but if this is what you really want, then I won't stand in your way."

However, in my intense concern, I added, "I do have one request though."

The smiles on Emmett and Bella's faces faded quickly, and I felt guilty, but I decided guilt was extremely preferable to the excruciating pain I knew would occur if I lost Bella. I turned exclusively to Emmett as I said, "You need to buy Bella a helmet and make her wear it."

It pleased me extremely when she agreed to wear a helmet, and that sent Emmett, Bella, and I on a trip to the store.

I hadn't been pleased when Bella told me that Emmett was sometimes more careful with her than I was but as he began helping her pick out a leather jacket to wear, I understood why she made that comment. He did treat her like a real sister; I saw that in their banter, the way they laughed at each other, and even in the way he touched her. Maybe, I thought, Rose had been right when she informed me that Emmett saw Bella as his replacement sister. I had never really heard Emmett speak about his human family, but Rose had inside information that I didn't have. Before Bella, Emmett had never really thought about his human life while he was around me, but I had noticed of late how Emmett would just stare at Bella sometimes and think about Emily, his human sister. Most of his thoughts were comparisons, but in his mind Bella was his Emily, and Jasper had once shared with me the strength of the familial love that Emmett emitted toward Bella. Even though I knew it was irrational, I still felt jealous of the relationship Bella seemed to have with Emmett.

I tried to hide my sorrow and fear as I watched Bella climb on the back of Emmett's motorcycle and wrap her small, fragile arms around him. All it would take, I knew, was one careless mistake, and the motorcycle could easily tip over and skid down the pavement of the highway taking Bella down the unforgiving pavement as well. The coat and helmet would help, but her bare hands and dungaree-covered legs could still sustain major scraps and tears, and broken bones were another serious concern. I sorrowfully watched as Emmett drove off with my future life perched behind him and holding on to his waist.

It took Alice walking up behind me, laying a hand on my shoulder, and saying, "Bella is going to be fine. Emmett would never allow anything bad to happen to her. He loves her almost as much as you do."

I turned to Alice and nearly pleaded, "Please tell me that I made the right decision."

Alice smiled reassuringly as she answered, "They'll be fine Edward, and you too will survive this."

"What do you see Alice?" I asked quietly.

"I see them returning home safely," she replied with confidence.

"Tell me if that changes," I retorted in a sharper tone that I meant, but my fear and sense of loss had not dissipated. As Bella moved out of my line of vision, the feelings only intensified.

"Edward, she will be okay, so stop worrying and come in the house. Jasper and I will find something for you to do to take your mind off of this temporary separation." Then in her usual Alice fashion, she skipped back into the house expecting me to follow.

I knew she meant well, but I didn't want to be entertained. I knew I was going to have to find something to do on my own that would truly take my mind off Bella being behind Emmett on a motorcycle.

I ended up spending the day composing a song for Bella. I sat at my piano and let the notes flow in front of my eyes. Once I saw a line of notes, I remembered them. I was not hindered by writing and rewriting notes on paper because of the visual attributes of my mind. If a note was misplaced or inappropriate, I saw it as soon as it appeared, and I could quickly replace it with one that did work harmoniously with the others around it. I played the piece repeatedly for the rest of the day, but when the sky became reddish orange as the sun sank, I began to worry. I hadn't heard from Bella or Emmett, and they hadn't returned home.

"Alice," I called.

"Busy Edward," I heard her giggle instantly registering the fact that her voice came from her bedroom.

"Please Alice," I didn't want to beg, but my concern was growing.

"Not now Edward," Jasper's voice replied this time.

Knowing exactly what they were doing and I knew it hadn't reached that intimate stage yet. I knew what would pull on Alice's concern, so I reached back into my memories and pulled out the voice I knew would get a positive response from Alice. Clearing my mind of all other thoughts, I concentrated only on Alice and sent her my concern. 'Please, Alice, they aren't back yet and if anything has happened to Bella it will rip me apart inside. I can't exist without her; please help me.'

Alice softly said, "Jasper, I'll only be minute," and then she chuckled, "Don't start without me." I heard her feet hitting the floor, and then the soft padding as Alice left her room and came down stairs. In less than half a second, she was standing beside me at the piano. "Edward, I haven't seen any harm coming to Bella, so they are fine. Bella will call; you just have to be patient."

I ran my fingers distractedly through my hair. Seeing the distress on my face, Alice added, "Edward, you are not losing Bella. She will be home. Please Edward, listen to me and be patient."

I laughed, but there was no humor in the laugh. Esme walked out of the kitchen at that moment and sat down beside me wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You can go Alice," and I watched as Alice quickly flitted out of the room. "Edward, I know you are hurting, but Bella would never intentionally cause you pain. If she knew what you were feeling right now, she would find a phone and call immediately. It is possible that where ever they are, there is no phone available, or knowing Emmett, he has told her that they won't be much longer before they arrive home and he isn't thinking about how worried you might be. Alice is right, you need to be patient."

"I'll try Esme, but it won't be easy." She was right; Bella would call as soon as she could unless she knew she would be home soon, but patience when I was separated from Bella was not an easy task for me. Just about then, the phone rang, and before it could ring a second time, I was up, across the room and removing the receiver from the phone's cradle.

"Emmett?" All I could think as I picked up the receiver was that it had better be him and he had better have an excellent reason for why he hadn't brought 'my Bella' back to me.

"Hello to you too," his tone was upbeat, so this couldn't be a call to tell me Bella was hurt.

Instinctively I asked, "Tell me Bella is fine, and where the hell you are!" I felt like I was being deprived of air, even though I knew I didn't need to breathe, I still felt suffocated. Then I heard her sweet melodic voice and suddenly I felt elated.

"Edward, I'm fine, and this is not Emmett's fault, it's mine." Of course, she would take the blame, but I still blamed Emmett.

With relief flooding my soul, I calmly asked, "Why aren't you home yet?"

"You are not allowed to get upset with Emmett, but here is what happened," Bella started.

I automatically jumped to a wrong conclusion. "You did get hurt!"

"Stop Edward, just listen and stop jumping to conclusions." She stopped, and I knew she was waiting for me to calm down again.

'Breathe,' I reminded myself, not because I needed it but because it was a way of calming down.

When she started again, I reminded myself to just listen and allow her to do the talking. "We were headed up to Mt. Rainier and Emmett stopped for lunch. While I was eating, Emmett asked me where I would like to go, and I told him. Now, don't get mad at him because this was my request. I told him I have always wanted to see the Redwood forest, and Emmett was kind enough to take me to see them. Right now we are in a room in Crescent City, and tomorrow I'll get to see the giant trees." I could hear the growing excitement in her voice as she told me her story. "Oh Edward, do you know what this means to me?" She sounded extremely happy and I could just envision her glowing smile.

Softer this time I asked, "But you are safe, right?" I still felt a need for extra reassurance.

Bella's soft laugh floated through the phone into my ear. Did she know how much I loved that laugh, and how much I missed her, I wondered? "Perfectly safe and Emmett bought me a great meal." Again, her voice took on the elated tone as she said, "Edward, I never knew steak tasted so great. It is the best taste I've ever encountered."

Could she mean better than me, I wondered, and then teasingly asked, "Better than anything else you have every tasted?"

Her voice dropped slightly as she replied, "Well, there is one taste that is better."

I heard Emmett's soft chuckle in the background and knew he was still near enough to hear every word we said to each other, but at that moment, I didn't care because I was talking to my angel. I responded, "And what exactly is that?" hoping she would give me the answer I was looking for. She didn't disappointment me.

"You of course," she whispered. Her answer made my heart soar.

I heard Emmett say, "I think I'll take a walk," but I never heard a door open or close so he must have remained for some reason.

Speaking softly, I poured out my loneliness to her, "Bella, I miss you."

"And I miss you, but this was a chance of my lifetime, and Edward, I really want to see those trees. I want to be able to walk among them and touch them and know that they are real. I've seen them so often in pictures, and knowing how close they are – well, I really want to have this experience, so please . . . don't be upset with me." Her voice was a soft mellow plea that melted my heart, but I also felt a twinge of jealousy that I wasn't the one being able to fulfill her desires. This was the second time Emmett was able to give her something she really wanted and I wasn't able to, the first time being the ski trip.

I wanted Bella to understand my worries, so I said, "Bella, my only concern is for your safety, but if you're sure this is what you want, then I will not deny you this experience. Just promise me that you will stay safe."

Her words brought me some slight comfort, but I still deeply longed for her return. "I promise, and thank you Edward. Emmett assures me we will be home tomorrow night, but it might be a little late, and Edward, I love you with all my heart and soul."

"As do I Bella," her words touched my heart, and it was a good thing vampires couldn't cry because at that moment I felt as if I would have.

"Goodnight," she whispered softly with longing in her voice as well.

"Goodnight, my love," I replied and hung up. My feelings must have radiated throughout the house, because I found Jasper standing beside me and suddenly a wave of soothing ease flowed through me.

"It can be hard during the first year Edward," Jasper reassured me. "Anytime she is away from you, you're going to feel this separation anxiety and a pain in your heart. It's because she's your chosen mate, and you'll never love another. She's it, and there is no one else for you. She's still human, so for her, she may miss you, but she won't feel or understand this pain until after you change her, by then, it will be easier for you, but it will be new for her and the pain will be real. Remember this now, so that when it is her turn, you will understand what she is feeling and will be able to help ease her through it."

"Have you all felt this way?" I remembered Emmett's anxious thoughts soon after his change, but I didn't understand it. Rose had only gone out hunting, and she hadn't been gone for more than an hour, but Emmett was ready to rush out of the house to find her, the anxiety was that strong. Maybe that was what I was feeling, and Bella had been gone for more than an hour. It hadn't been this bad when she had been visiting her relatives for Thanksgiving last year, but I always knew exactly where she was and had a rough idea of when she would call.

"I promise, Edward, it will get easier," Jasper laid his hand on my shoulder as he pushed another wave of solace through me.

"Thanks Jasper, and I'm sorry I've interrupted your, um, whatever, with Alice. Tell her I'm sorry as well."

"Don't worry Edward. She's the one who sent me down. Your feelings of anguish were so great that they slipped out of me into her, but now that you're feeling a little better, I think I can recreate the previous mood. Just don't let yourself be overcome again, at least not for a few hours. Okay?"

"Sure, and if I need to, I'll go out and hunt or something so the two of you can have some quality alone time, just keep the noise down this time," I chuckled half-heartedly, and watched as he turned and walked out of the room leaving behind more feelings of comfort.

I did leave to hunt, but it wasn't the only activity I engaged in while I was gone. After downing a few deer, I ended up sitting on a fallen log and spent time daydreaming – a pastime I never partook of before Bella, but one that I engaged in quite often after meeting her. My dreams covered everything from what Bella and I could do the next day, to our wedding (which I knew would be dominated by Alice), to our distant euphoric future together. That evening, I took time out to plan out the rest of the week with Bella. One thing I knew I wanted to do was play the new song for her. I wanted her to know this was her song, and I wanted to share how she inspired it. I also wanted to spend time learning all I could about her – her likes, her dislikes, her desires and wishes, and anything else she would share with me. I spent the entire night creating a litany of questions I would ask her, and then I composed answers to each of those questions for myself. I realized it would only be fair to answer those same questions for her so she would learn about me as well.

The sun was just beginning to rise when I slowly walked into the house. My entry had been so silent that I didn't interrupt Alice and Rose's conversation.

"Guys are so clueless!" Rose stated emphatically.

Alice added, "Especially when they've never had a girlfriend before or ever felt jealousy, love, lust, or any of the other emotions that go along with developing a lasting relationship. For Edward it's like emotional overload, and it will take time for him to sort out all of those emotions and then make sense of them."

"So I suppose we will have to put up with his moodiness until he gets them all sorted out," Rose replied.

"Yeah, but Jasper will help when he can, and I know that Carlisle will also, if Edward lets them of course." Alice chuckled softly, "Poor Edward, he's experiencing all the pains of love without any of the benefits." It didn't take much to read in their thoughts what they both meant by benefits.

Rose echoed her laugh, and then said, "Stop hiding Edward. We all know you're there. Your smell is giving you away."

Knowing it did no good to deny my presence, I walked into the living room and found the two of them sitting on the sofa. Alice was in one corner with her back to the arm of the sofa, while Rose sat in the middle of it.

"So, feeling any better?" Rose asked, and it almost sounded as if she were sincere in her question.

"As well as can be expected I guess," I replied walking over to sit down in one of the armchairs that faced the sofa the two girls were on.

"Cheer up Eddie," Rose quipped, "It will get better with time. I know from experience."

She knew I hated that nickname, but whenever Emmett or she wanted to irritate me, that was the name they addressed me by. "I guess you're used to this by now." I snapped.

"As I said, time does that. Emmett won't do anything to harm her. You do realize, Eddie, that they spent the night together, and I'm betting they shared the same room," she smirked.

I knew she was taunting me, but the thought of Bella sleeping in a room while Emmett watched did not please me at all.

"Yeah, sharing a room, maybe sharing a bed," she taunted more. "Just how well do you know your 'girlfriend' Eddie?"

I could see a merciless glint in her amber eyes, but I refused to be baited by her words, so I replied with a slight sneer, "As well as you know your husband." That retort caused her to huff disdainfully, rise gracefully from the sofa, and walk off with her nose in the air.

"You realize her acerbic comment was meant to wound you because she's feeling the separation as well," Alice said softly.

"Does she have a nice bone in her body?" I cocked an eyebrow as I asked my question.

Alice laughed, "Neither of you believe Bella and Emmett would do anything reprehensible. Their relationship is too pure, and in a way almost childlike. Of everyone in this family, Emmett and Bella have the closest sibling relationship possible. I've seen the way he looks at her, and he would lay down his life for her, but as a brother, not as a lover. Emmett only loves Rose like that, and that love for Rose will never change. It's the same for his love for Bella; he will never stop loving her as his sister."

"It's what everyone has been telling me all these years about vampires falling in love. It only happens once, and it is forever." I could count the number of times all of my family had explained that part of vampire life, but until a few short months ago, I had never really comprehended what it would be like to fall in love. "But Alice, Bella isn't a vampire. Her love is different. It is based on human emotions and feelings. It could easily change."

Alice laughed, "She might not be a vampire yet, but I would bet my next trip to the Paris fall fashion show that her love for you is just as strong and unwavering as yours is for her."

For Alice to put the trip to Paris on the line meant it was a serious wager, it was something Alice would never wager if she thought there was a chance she would lose.

A deep chuckle vibrated through the room, "Alice has never used that as a wager with me, so she must definitely know something that no one else knows," Jasper said as he walked up behind Alice and wrapped his arms around her shoulder as he knelt down beside the arm of the sofa.

"Maybe you're right, but it doesn't make me miss her any less, or worry that she might find someone more suitable to her. She says she wants to be changed, but there is always that chance that she will change her mind as she matures."

Alice and Jasper laughed in unison. "Not a chance, Edward. She is your perfect match, and she has made up her mind that you are the person she not only wants but also needs. Her mother once told me that once Bella makes up her mind about something, she never gives up on it. Something about Bella being tenacious about getting what her heart really desires, and like a snapping turtle, once she has her teeth latched on to it, she won't let go."

"Let's face it Edward, Bella has her teeth in you," Jasper chuckled deeply. "Oh my, how the tables have turned," he added snidely.

"I think I'll go read for awhile," I quickly said as I got up and left the room. I wasn't in the mood for anymore sarcastic remarks.

I did spend most of the day in my room trying to read, but my mind always wandered back to Bella, and just to help time pass, I removed all the clocks from my room, hoping time would pass more quickly if I couldn't see what time it was. It was remiss of me to forget that all I had to do was watch the progress of the sun across my bedroom floor.

Every time I would think I could focus on something other than Bella, my mind would wonder back to her. I wanted desperately to be able to do something that would keep us together, but only a few options existed. I could just run off with her. Jasper had the perfect connections for false identification papers, and if he listed Bella as eighteen and me as nineteen, we could legally be married in a number of states, and then travel to Switzerland to live. A person could easily hide in that country, but then I would be ripping Bella away from her parents, and my family would not be able to visit at least for the first four or five years because Bella's father would have every law enforcement agency he could contact looking for us. Of course, he would claim I kidnapped Bella, so fleeing the country with her would carry a higher penalty, but still, it was a thought.

Another option I came up with was to find a state that would legally marry us and after the wedding, I could change Bella, consummate the marriage, and then she could live with my family and me. There would still be the problem of the animosity her father would feel toward me, and I really did not want to come between Bella and her father.

My last thought was to just change her, but that would not guarantee she could always stay with me because she was still only sixteen. The other problem that might cause was for Bella herself. Those first few months might prove a little stressful because of her thirst, and she might not be able to overcome the desire for human blood even while drinking animal blood. For some newborn vampires, those first few months can be harder because they are first learning to control their natural desires.

It didn't matter which scenario I toyed with, it all lead back to my desire to be with Bella every moment of the day and night, and night was what I was longing for at that time. I eventually wandered downstairs toward early evening and began to play Bella's song again, but this time a few melancholy notes crept in.

Around nine that evening, Esme finally came into the living room to ask what I was playing. She smiled when I informed her it was a song for Bella, and her response was, "Well, I hope it becomes a little more cheerful after Bella is home safe, because right now it's more reminiscent of a funeral dirge."

I chuckled softly but didn't tell her that I had had the same thought earlier.

It was almost ten when I finally heard the motorcycle turning into the drive off the highway. I rushed out the front door and stood on the porch awaiting their arrival. As soon as I saw Bella, my heart swelled with happiness and relief. I was a little jealous when I noticed Bella's hands were wrapped tightly around Emmett's waist, her face was resting snuggly against his back, and Emmett had one hand clasped over Bella's hands on his stomach.

'Come get her,' I heard Emmett's thoughts, and wondered what the urgency was, because there was urgency behind his unspoken words.

I rushed out into the driveway, and I saw a sweet smile on Bella's face but her eyes were shut.

Very softly Emmett whispered, "She has been falling asleep on and off for the past hour, but I wouldn't stop because I promised I would have her back to you this evening."

"Are we there yet?" Even though slurred, I could hear and understand Bella's words.

"She has been asking that for the last three hours," Emmett chuckled softly.

Bella, maybe because of the sound of voices, ever so slightly opened one of her eyes. "Edward?" It was asked in a shocked disbelieving tone. "It is really you this time, isn't it?"

I chuckled then, and Emmett informed me, "She has been seeing you for the last hour and a half."

I helped her off the motorcycle so I could gently pick her up and carry her into the house, but as soon as I picked her up, one arm went around my neck and then her free hand began to caress my face. She was almost like a blind person reading my face with her hands. "It really is you," she murmured as she buried her face into my chest. "Oh Edward, I had such a lovely time, and Emmett was so good to me. It was perfect except for one thing," she whispered as I began walking with her to the house.

"And what was that one thing?" I kept my voice low.

"I missed you. Did you miss me?"

As if I had done anything but miss her. "You'll never know how much," I told her.

"I know," she murmured causing me to look back at Emmett who was leaning up beside his bike as if waiting for something.

I shot him a puzzled look, and he responded, "Just wait, she'll tell you."

"Because you love me, and if you love me as much as I love you, then there's a dull ache right here," she tried to put her hand on her heart but laid it squarely on her breast causing her to chuckle and Emmett to laugh outright. "Oops," she said as she moved her hand upward, "I meant right here," and this time she was in the vicinity of her heart.

"Then I guess you do know how much I missed you," I whispered into her ear.

Did I ever mention how unpredictable Bella can be at times? Just as I thought she might have fallen asleep, she said, "Oh Edward, I'm in love. Emmett helped me fall in love."

Once again, I glanced back at Emmett but this time with a frown. There were no thoughts coming from his mind, but he did say, once again, "Just wait, she'll tell you."

To prod her on, I asked, "And just who is this new love interest?"

Bella giggled softly, "No, not who, what – rib eye steak, medium rare. It is the juiciest, most addictive thing I have ever eaten, and all those sweet juices that run out of it are heavenly."

Bella had fallen in love with food and that was something I never thought would happen. Bella had a tendency to eat because it was required, and besides marshmallows and strawberries, she didn't generally enjoy what she ate – to her it was just food.

"Is that what blood tastes like?" Her voice was becoming softer and softer telling me she was on the very edges of sleep. "If it is, I'll be a wicked vampire because I'll want more and more."

"Not to worry Bella, there is not enough of a trace of blood in meat juice to count for anything."

"That's good, my perfectly handsome fiancée. I love you, did I mention that?" I didn't think she would make it up to the bedroom from the sound of her voice.

"Yes you did, now sleep, Bella, you need it."

"Okay," and just like that her breathing became shallower and evened out just as it always did when she fell asleep.

"Edward," Emmett said just as I reached the front door, "As soon as you put Bella to bed, we have to talk, you, Carlisle, and I. Something happened while we were gone."

I was about to ask what he meant, when I heard Rose running toward the door and knew I had better step out of the way before she burst through and hit Bella with the door. I had wondered why Emmett had stayed beside his motorcycle, but as I saw Rose leap up on him and wrap her arms and legs around him, I understood why he waited. He wanted her to come to him.

I conveyed Bella as swiftly as possible up to my room, and without removing any of her clothing except for her shoes, I tucked her into bed. I had every intention of leaving immediately and finding Carlisle, but before I could leave her bedside, Bella murmured, "Don't leave me yet. I need you," and she reached her arm out to me.

**Note: I wish to thank every one of you who have left such nice comments, and as you know, I do respond to your comments and questions. I love both because they give me ideas, which in turn slow the story down because I have to weigh the merits of some of the ideas to see if they would fit the story in any way, shape, or form. I cannot promise when the next chapter will be completed, but it might be shorter than some of these past chapters.**

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	59. Chapter 59 The Lady in the Forest

**AN: Finally, another chapter, and on New Year's Eve. I hope everyone enjoys it, and yes, I am currently working on the next chapter, but school and work both begin for me on Monday – so Happy New Year everyone.**

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Journal Entry Forty-Four – The Lady in the Forest [June 1959]**

Being told the most important person in your life needs you just does something to you inside, or at least it did to me. With her arms reaching out for me I just could not find it in me to walk away and leave her, not that I wanted to of course, so I stretched out beside her on 'our' bed. 'Our,' I was really coming to cherish that word because in my mind it joined us together in a more permanent manner.

"You are perfect," she murmured, "and much more pleasing to hold than anyone else."

That comment made me wonder who else she had been holding. 'Of course, she had to hold Emmett while riding the motorcycle, so maybe that's what she meant,' I thought to myself.

"You smell better than Emmie, less woodsy," she put her nose up to my neck and then moved to kiss it a few times.

I chuckled softly at her nickname for Emmett. Had Jasper or I used it he would have had us in a headlock, but Bella was different for him, and he seemed easily swayed by her. Of course, I wouldn't ever say that in front of Rose because I knew how jealous she could be.

"I liked the woods, Edward. Thank you for allowing me to see them." She sighed heavily and I thought she would fall asleep, but then she continued, "The lady ranger said the trees there had some specialness about them that few people could see."

I laid down so that we were facing each other, but her head was at the height of my neck. As she began to settle into sleep, she turned her cheek so it rested against my chest, but she also placed her hand on my chest and then began to run it up and down.

"The ranger said I was special, but she doesn't know you because to me you're even more special," she continued to run her hand slowly up my chest and then down.

Her warm touch sent chills through my body, but not because of her warmth or my contrasting coldness but because of the sensations she was making me feel. Had I been able to, I think my arms would have had goose bumps; instead, my body began to react in other ways that I really didn't want Bella to learn about just yet. It would be even more embarrassing if Emmett were to see how my body reacted. His teasing would be unbearable.

"I love you beyond words," her voice was extremely low, almost no more than a breath, but her words resonated loudly in my heart and mind.

Her hand stopped moving on my chest, and she snuggled tightly against me before saying, "The water was wonderful," and with those final words, her breathing evened out into a rhythm that signaled sleep.

I waited a good five minutes before trying to leave her side, but as I tried to rise, she wrapped both her arms around me and murmured, "Not yet."

How could I resist her plea, and yet I heard Carlisle and Emmett one floor down talking about Bella and his trip.

I stayed beside Bella wrapping my arms around her and allowing her scent to permeate not only my senses but also my physical being. I wanted to leave that room with Bella's scent clinging to me. I wanted everyone to know that I had spent time with her, that she was mine, and that I was hers. As a result, I allowed myself to remain as near to her as possible so that my scent would also cling to her. If she woke up, I wanted her to smell me on her skin. I wasn't sure if that was something other vampires felt or not, but it was true of me. Besides, I still ached slightly from missing her, and if it had been possible, I would not allow her to go home ever again. I wanted her home to be right there in 'our bedroom', in 'our bed'. Nothing would ever be only mine again; it would always be 'ours'. Our room, our closet, our bed, our love – what more could I ever want out of our existence?

As I lay there, I heard Emmett telling Carlisle about some of the things he learned about his feelings toward Bella and about the few memories he had of his human sister. He had been surprised that his time with Bella had brought up a few memories that he had thought he had forgotten, but Carlisle said they were probably memories that had lain dormant for a long time, and until Bella brought them forth, they hadn't really been needed.

It was an interesting truth that despite the fact that we are dead, in the medical sense, we are exponentially stronger than humans are, and we have photographic memories. The last characteristic I haven't been able to figure out. We're dead, but our minds still work, and our brains retain information; it seems like the brain should die when the heart stops, but it just doesn't work like that. I tried to figure how that was possible, once, but I finally gave up. It's the same with sucking air into our lungs and expelling it. It's not necessary but we still do it. Carlisle attributed that bodily function to habit, but even he hasn't been able to explain satisfactorily why our brains still functioned. The fact that it can also store an infinitesimal amount of knowledge is also a mystery to me, so Carlisle telling Emmett that he had dormant memories did not surprise me.

It was almost an hour before I was finally able to extricate myself from Bella's embrace and join Emmett and Carlisle in Carlisle's study. I didn't leave because I wanted to; no, if I had had any other choice, I would have stayed beside Bella all night, but what had happened in the Redwood forest was something we needed to talk about.

I found not only Carlisle and Emmett but also Jasper waiting for me when I finally walked into Carlisle's meticulously organized study. He had four high-backed chairs arranged in a circle in the center of the room allowing all of us to face each other as we spoke.

"Emmett had provided us with a detailed account of his and Bella's trip, but he omitted the person Bella seemed to have met in the forest, saving that part until you arrived," Carlisle started as I took the only empty chair. "I think, before we go any further, Emmett should tell us what happened during Bella's encounter with the ranger she claims she spoke to," Carlisle added.

I nodded in agreement. I wanted to know everything he could share about this mysterious 'ranger,' and I highly doubted the woman was a ranger. Much like Bella's Uncle Peter, I suspected she too had only been posing as one.

"There is not really much to tell," Emmett began. "I left Bella looking at the trees telling her to stay in that area while I went hunting. I thought that would be a good time to take care of my need, just in case. I hadn't gone far and wasn't gone that long, but she had moved while I was gone. I was able to locate her because of her scent and voice, but I also detected another scent mixed with hers. It was not a scent I was familiar with."

"How do you mean 'not familiar with?" Carlisle asked.

"I mean, it was not a human scent nor was it the scent of another vampire. I never smelled anything like this scent before," Emmett admitted.

Carlisle just shook his head in response, and I said, "What happened then?" Carlisle was holding his thoughts in check, not allowing anything to slip out, but I had a feeling he knew something he wasn't sharing.

"Well, before I actually saw Bella, I heard her talking. It sounded as though she were carrying on a conversation except that I heard no answering voice. By the time I saw her, I knew there was no one with her that I could see or hear. Bella's entire demeanor told me she was holding a conversation with someone she could see and I couldn't. It was a little eerie. Whoever this lady was, she thought I was Bella's boyfriend because Bella said, 'That's not my boyfriend; that's my big brother.' The sincerity and intensity of her words actually moved me. I never heard her speak that way about me before. I felt a sense of pride being called her big brother."

Jasper chuckled as he said, "You make a great big brother, especially for Bella who is in need of someone to protect her." I scowled at his comment, which he saw because he added, "Big brothers are less emotionally involved than boyfriends, so they can be more objective in their protection," causing Emmett and Carlisle to try to hide poorly suppressed laughs, but Jasper was correct because I was not very objective when it came to Bella's safety.

"Anyway," Emmett continued, "Bella felt there was something different about this lady ranger – other than the fact that she was a woman ranger, which Bella found slightly odd since most rangers are male. It was the water the lady gave her that really bothered me though," Emmett added thoughtfully. "I find it questionable to believe that it was just spring water since it was given to Bella by someone I could not see or hear, and when you add in the fact that Bella lead us directly back to the parking lot without the benefit of a path and that she didn't trip or stumble once as she walked, makes me question just what Bella had been offered to drink."

"How did Bella describe this woman?" Carlisle wore a serious yet thoughtful expression while Emmett spoke.

"Bella said she was beautiful, and she also said she felt there was something different about this lady just like she felt there had been something different about her Uncle Peter when she first met him. Then she said the lady talked about the trees thanking Bella for complementing them and how the trees had feelings."

Jasper interrupted Emmett before he could say anything else. "Carlisle, could this lady have been some type of tree sprite?"

"Anything is possible, Jasper, but I have a feeling that is too simple an answer. It is obvious that there are more supernatural beings involved in Bella's life than just vampires, and if what Esme shared with us is correct, then they have been involved in her life from the moment of her birth." Carlisle never said it outright, but his thoughts dismissed the idea of a sprite or nymph. He let slip, non-verbally, his concern that this being was of more importance than just a nymph or sprite, but he didn't let anymore than that slip past his barricaded thoughts.

I remembered Esme telling us about her conversation with Joanne. Joanne described a wraith-like, willowy blonde nurse holding her hand while she went through a difficult delivery with Bella. It made me begin to wonder if there was some connection, and I wondered if Carlisle had made that same connection. This nurse also had not been seen by anyone else in the delivery room except Bella's mother.

Since he thought it as well, I couldn't help but ask, "Carlisle is it possible that this woman Bella saw is in some way connected to the woman who was with Bella's mother when Bella was born?" My questioned caused my brothers to stop speaking and look directly at me.

There was a long moment of silence before Carlisle said, "I think I need to make a phone call, and then we may need a few more opinions. I know you are not going to be happy with my decision, Edward, but I think it is time to contact the Protectors. There may be more involved with this than I ever thought possible." Carlisle was quickly replaying everything back that Joanne shared with Esme about Bella's life. The unusual encounters in Bella's life playing a predominate role in his thoughts. Carlisle was formulating a thought, but before I could get a clear picture of that thought, he cut it off, and put that same wall around it that kept his other thoughts from me – he meant to keep me out, and before I could ask him anything, he said, "I need time to think this through, and I need to make a few phone calls. If I feel we need the Protectors' advice, I will talk to the entire family," he turned directly to me as he said, "including Bella, before I make any definite decision." He then got up, walked over to his massive bookcase and began to run his hand across the spines of the books housed there. He was definitely looking for something, but he was meticulously keeping his thoughts shielded from me. His actions were a definite sign to the rest of us that the conversation was over.

"Emmett, do you have a moment?" I asked as we got up to leave.

"Uh, oh, I think little brother wants a blow by blow of what exactly happened between Bella and you while you were gone," Jasper snickered heartily, and then he quickly disappeared out the door and down the hall.

Without replying, Emmett walked out of Carlisle's office and headed toward the stairs; I followed him.

Emmett led me down to the dining room on the first floor, and he pulled out a chair and sat down at the massive dining room table. I sat in a chair across the table from him. It was odd that he chose the dining room because generally, he would have chosen the living room, but then I just wanted to know about his time with Bella, so I didn't really care where we spoke.

"Besides this meeting with the female forest ranger, did anything else unusual happen while you were with Bella?" I could not help but wonder if that was the only unusual event.

"Unusual, no – surprising, just a little," Emmett chuckled deeply.

"Surprising in what way?" I began to pick through his thoughts, but he was too focused on Rose to reveal anything other than what he was talking about concerning the trip.

"Well, I knew Bella walked and talked in her sleep, but some of the things she said and did surprise me," I had a sudden picture of Bella's lips on his.

"She kissed you?" Jealousy flared up within me. Envy and jealousy were still new emotions that I first experienced after meeting Bella, and when they concerned Bella, I found them hard to restrain.

"Only until she realized I wasn't you. That didn't take but a second or two. She made the cutest face when she realized her mistake. Who would have thought my kisses could cause such a look of distaste. I have to admit, on my side, it was like being kissed by my human sister, but then that is exactly what Bella is, my human sister. Believe me Edward there could never be anything between Bella and me other than a sibling relationship. She and I both know that, but those feelings are strong, and my feelings of protectiveness for her are extremely strong. Almost as strong as yours, but I won't let those feelings smother her. She has already told me how she feels when her father does that to her and the rift it has caused between the two of them, and that is something I will not allow to happen between her and me."

"But she kissed you?" I growled. I heard everything he said but foremost in my mind was the image of Bella kissing him.

"Edward, she was asleep, but even in her sleep she could tell the difference. I think she thought you were the one lying next to her . . ."

"You were lying with her?" I wanted to reach across the table and rip him to pieces.

"Edward, calm down, and lying with her implies something much more than just being beside her. Look, she was afraid, okay. She asked me to stay with her so she wouldn't get up and walk in her sleep. She said she felt safer when you would lie beside her, and since you weren't there, she asked if I would." Emmett chuckled again and as he did, I remembered Bella's comment about how holding me was more pleasing than holding anyone else. "This is why I chose to sit in the dining room. Putting a table between us was a safety factor to allow you time to cool down and focus on the truth. Nothing Bella did was romantic in anyway for me, but it did make me realize that you have more will power than I ever gave you credit for. If she did even as little with you as she did to me, then you are learning self-control of your sex-drive, and if she has no effect on you, then you really have a problem and need to talk to Carlisle about that deficiency."

"What exactly did she do?" I demanded with an angry growl. I couldn't fault Bella for anything she did while she was sleeping, but it infuriated me that Emmett was on the receiving end and flashes of Bella's early morning moves filled my mind. I found it hard to believe the jealousy that I felt, and in that instant, 'green-eyed monster' took on an entirely different meaning. I had felt jealousy before in relation to Bella, but never with the intensity that I felt when I envisioned Bella's leg wrapping over Emmett's legs, or her nestling her face into his chest.

"Before you do anything, imagine yourself in my place but with Rose doing what I'm going to say Bella did, and then you will realize how uncomfortable it made me feel because we are talking about my sister, not my wife and lover."

He did have a point. Had Rose been human and kissed me while she was sleeping – as if she really could sleep unless she were human, I would have felt . . . well, not just uncomfortable but revolted by the action – I have to admit that I never felt anything romantic or even been tempted by having Rose near me like that.

"Believe me, Edward, I felt much that same as you do when thinking about Rose," Emmett declared.

I suddenly felt as if he was reading my mind, but then he began to laugh at me.

"Edward, I may not be able to hear your thoughts like you can hear mine, but I can read your facial expressions, and the one I saw on your face when you thought about being with Rose like I had been with Bella, well, that said everything I needed to know. Believe me, the entire time I was sharing that bed with Bella, her under the covers and me on top of them, I only thought about how I wished Rose was with me instead of Bella." He paused a moment in thought, and I didn't need to hear or see his thoughts to know where they had wandered. "Don't get me wrong, I really loved being able to share something with my precious little sister, but I also missed Rose, a lot – almost as much as you missed Bella." He paused again and just stared at me, and then added, "Edward, I can assure you that it will get easier – being apart from Bella I mean. I know it is hard right now. It is always harder in the beginning to be parted from your soul mate, but as you begin to realize she loves you and wants to be with you as much as you love and want to be with her, it gets a little easier. We've all gone through this same feeling, and if you don't believe me you can just . . ."

Esme's voice suddenly interrupted us as we heard her say, "Bella, darling, please stop."

I was immediately out of my chair and through the doorway into the living room. I watched as Bella walked out the large siding door into the back yard. I glanced quickly at Emmett who was beside me, saw a questioning look on his face, and wondered if I had a similar look on my face.

Esme followed closely behind Bella, but she did not touch her. We had all heard Carlisle warn us not to wake Bella while she was sleepwalking. From literature he had read, psychologists claimed it was unsafe to wake a sleepwalker.

"Bella dear, where are you going?" She asked in a calm quiet voice.

"Trees . . ." was Bella's brief murmured reply.

"Bella?" I questioned in the same tranquil voice that Esme used.

Bella paused fleetingly, but then she tilted her head slightly as if she was listening to something, and then she began walking again.

"Why are you going to the trees?" I asked her as I kept pace beside her. Esme and Emmett were shadowing us a step behind.

"Trees," Bella murmured again.

"Why the trees Bella?" I pressed without raising my voice or hardening my tone.

"Trees . . . Lady . . .," she murmured in response as she continued walking.

"Edward, that lady in the woods, do you think she has followed Bella here?" Emmett asked so softly Bella would not have heard him.

He had a point, but the idea actually scared me, not for myself but for Bella. If this 'Lady,' as Bella called her, had followed her here from California, then it could only mean she was tracking Bella for some reason we didn't know. To say I wasn't happy with that thought was a drastic understatement, and I could sense from Emmett's thoughts that he felt the same way. I used every enhanced sense available to me, but I could not hear, see, or smell any intruder, and reaching out to listen with my mind was of no help either. I heard nothing but the thoughts of my family, and Esme and Emmett's thoughts were focused entirely in Bella's safety.

"Bella love, please stop." Once again, I kept my voice and tone soft. I was hoping she would respond to the sound of my voice and block the other voice out of her mind or hearing. If what she heard was a thought, then I should have picked up on it, and if it had been oral, then we all should have heard it.

"Edward," she said just as she stopped walking. I felt pleased that Bella had responded to my voice.

"Take my hand Bella." I reached out toward her, and as if some unseen force was leading her, she turned, reached toward me, and clasped my hand. "Come Bella, let me take you back to bed," I said and following my voice, she stepped toward me.

With our hands still clasped, I turned and slowly walked back into the house before leading her back upstairs to our bedroom. As she crawled back into bed, I allowed her to become comfortable before I raised the covers over her and tucked her in.

"Edward," she murmured, "The trees . . . the Lady . . ."

"Shhhh . . ." I whispered softly in her ear as I leaned close to her.

"Calling," she added.

I walked around the bed and stretched out behind Bella. I then wrapped my arm over her waist so I could pull her toward me. With her back nestled tightly to my chest, I said, "Stay with me Bella."

My request caused her to roll over facing me, and a small smile turned her lips up as she whispered, "Forever," and then she drifted into a deep sleep as she slipped her arm around my neck and laid her face against my cold chest.

The enigma of this 'Lady' was uppermost in my mind, and if she had indeed followed Bella back to Tacoma, then my family and I would have to protect Bella from her at all cost. She obviously wanted Bella for some reason, but I was not about to relinquish my claim on her – no, in my mind, Bella was mine and I refused to give up what was mine.

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AN: By the way, I lay no claim to the original characters.**


	60. Chapter 60 Picnic

**AN: I don't own the characters but the situation, time change, and much of the story line is still mine, the rest belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**With that said, Happy Valentine's Day, and I posted as soon as possible on this day. **

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Journal Entry Forty-Five – Picnic [June 1959]**

I had already lost two days with Bella because of Emmett, so I was determined to make the most of the rest of the week. As I had decided before, I planned on finding out everything possible about Bella. I wanted to know her likes, her dislikes, her childhood experiences, her romantic experiences, and her family history – not just her recent family history, but her genealogy as far back as she knew it.

I spent the entire night planning questions to ask Bella, and near dawn, I began thinking about where the best place would be to have our conversation. I wanted to take her somewhere away from my family so it would be just the two of us. I wanted somewhere quiet, private, and slightly romantic. It was near dawn when I thought of the perfect place. I had remembered an obscure park located south of our house where almost no one went. Adler Lake would fit my needs exactly. It was more of a picnic area than an urban-type park, but most importantly, it would be away from the family, secluded, and quiet.

'_I'll pack a lunch and leave it on the table. You'll have a wonderful time,_' Alice mentally informed me. I heard her moving around downstairs and knew she would do an admirable job packing a lunch Bella would enjoy. She was another person who knew more about Bella than I did, but if everything worked out as planned, I would return home more knowledgeable than either Alice or Emmett, and that is just as it should be because Bella was my 'fiancée'.

I had never thought about that word before my change because it would have been my father's place to choose a nice suitable wife for me. After my change, I just never felt an interest in anyone. For his part, Carlisle did try to choose a 'nice suitable mate' for me – too bad he choose Rose, but then, how could he have foreseen the disastrous emotional conflict that would occur between us. Beauty, as they say, is much more than skin-deep especially where Rose is concerned. We were both more than attractive to look at, by human standards, but personality wise, no two people could have been so dissimilar than we were. I was more than pleased when she found Emmett – it meant Carlisle and Esme had to stop hoping we would both change our minds about each other.

As all the internal thoughts swirled through my mind, I watched the sky lighten through my bedroom window while I patiently waited for Bella to wake up. Her first stirrings were always to squirm around on the bed a bit before reaching out and touching me – almost as if making sure I were still there. Once her hand touched me, she would let out a contented sigh, and murmur something. It was so endearing listening to her. Most of the time what she murmured was just too soft to hear even with vampire hearing. Other times, the words were garbled and unrecognizable, or she would moan or groan just slightly. I do admit it was enjoyable, but the most enjoyment, for me, came when she was just beginning to wake up. Sometimes she would throw off her blankets, roll over to face me – if she wasn't already, and then hitch one of her legs over mine. Then she would run her hands up my chest and wrap them around my neck, slide as close as possible to me, and rest her cheek against my chest. The warmth from her cheek seeping through my shirt was amazing, and each time she placed her cheek against my chest, I was still surprised at how wonderful her warmth felt.

That morning began much as I expected when she began to wake up, but then, as she laid her cheek against my chest, she murmured, "Edward, I had a very strange dream last night."

I expected her to tell me about her sleepwalking, figuring she remembered it but thought it was a dream; however, what she shared puzzled and surprised me.

"I saw myself standing at the boundary of the woods somewhere, and that lady ranger from the Redwood forest was there. She was trying to coax me into the woods, but standing off to the side was a huge growling wolf. I wasn't sure if it was growling at her or me, but its size was enough to scare me. The odd thing about this dream was that I was not really participating but watching it all, even though I saw my body I wasn't in it; it was as if I were only an observer. The lady kept gesturing for me to follow her, the wolf kept growling, and my body never moved – it just stood still as if rooted to that one spot."

Bella stopped speaking and out of curiosity, I prompted, "Was there anything else?"

"Yes, just as my body was about to step toward the lady, I heard your voice. It was soft, gentle, and so sweet to my ears. I felt my heart flutter wildly, but I couldn't see you. I wanted you to take a hold of me, but I couldn't turn around to look for you. Then suddenly, I felt the tingling of sparks as someone took my hand, and I knew it was you. I finally found myself back in my body and was able to turn around. As I did, I saw your glowing face, and little sparkles of light radiating behind you. You were beautiful, and it caused my heart to flutter. It felt like a little bird trapped inside of my ribs desperately trying to escape so it could join your heart, and then everything went black. The next thing I knew, I was waking up and needing to know you were still next to me."

"Well," I commented as she finished her description, "That was an interesting dream. What do you think it means?"

Bella giggled softly in an extremely endearing manner, "I thought you could tell me. You've been to college – many times I might add – and most likely taken some psychology classes. They talk about the meaning of dreams in those classes, don't they?" She began to run her fingers through my hair while she was speaking.

"I might have taken one or two," I confessed softly, not wanting to speak too loudly. She was so close I didn't need to raise my voice, "but that doesn't mean I can interpret your dream. In fact, most theories claim the psychologist shouldn't answer questions for the client, but encourage the client to answer her own questions."

"What good is that?" She murmured into my chest causing a small vibration to tingle my skin.

"Something about self discovery," I replied. "Anyway, I must confess, I'm not really sure what your dream means, but you did take a little stroll last night, or rather early this morning," I informed her. 'Better I tell her than she find out from someone else,' I thought.

"No," she moaned softly, "I didn't do anything embarrassing, did I?"

"No Bella, just a little stroll, but you did have us all worried. You were heading to the woods, and that isn't a safe place at night. Plus, you were bare-foot, so I was worried about your feet," I added the last with a small smile to down play the seriousness just slightly.

"Did Emmett see?" She asked in a small voice into my chest. Once again, the vibration of her lips on my chest sent an amazing thrill through my body.

"Yes," I admitted, "He and I were talking when we heard Esme asking you to come back into the house."

"Oh no," again the slight vibrating moan, "Esme saw me too?"

"Bella," I lifted her chin so I could see her eyes, "no one thinks any less of you because you walk in your sleep, but we were all worried about you last night. The woods can be dangerous at night, and no one in the family wants you to get hurt. Esme was only looking out for your safety, as we all were."

"Uh," was her only response, but it did make me chuckle softly.

She glared at me and I decided to lighten up her mood slightly. I remembered Emmett's comment about the sensitivity of her knees, and she still had her leg hooked over mine, so I reached down and placed my hand on her knee.

"You wouldn't dare," she hissed.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" I replied as a put a little pressure into a squeeze on her knee.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," she threatened, "don't you dare!" I loved the way my name rolled off her lips, and that statement brought to mind something else.

A number of years before Bella uttered those exact words, I overheard a conversation Esme had with Alice and Rose. It was some female advice – something I never shared with my father or brothers, and at the time I heard it, something I didn't believe to be true. The conversation was the result of Rose's complaint about Emmett not doing as she asked, and Esme took both the girls out to the woods away from the house believing the men in the family would not hear them talking. Of course, she didn't know I was sitting up in a tree hiding from Emmett who had been angry over a bet he had just lost.

What she said was, 'Never ask them to do something especially if it is important. Instead, tell them 'don't you dare' and then add whatever it is you want them to do.' Rose had just laughed at her words, but Alice's thoughts analyzed the advice. Esme continued, 'You laugh now, but two years ago I told Carlisle he shouldn't dare to bring me flowers on our anniversary. I said it was a waste of time. He ended up bringing me two dozen deep red roses. It was the first time he ever did something like that especially after I told him not to, but it got me to thinking, and I finally realized, men don't like being told what not to do. To try out my theory, I told Carlisle, "Don't you dare get me anything for my birthday," and then I wondered if he saw that as a challenge, so I added, 'Besides, there isn't anything you can get me that I don't already have.' Carlisle bought me an island that year for my birthday. It was then that I realized 'don't you dare' presented a challenge, and men so love a challenge. Now, if you don't believe me, then try it out on your husbands.' Alice, after some contemplation, believed what Esme shared, but Rose was still leery, but she did try it out two weeks later. She wanted Emmett to go shopping with her, which was generally unusual for her, but she told him he 'wouldn't dare go with her when she went shopping.' Now, Emmett's mind is usually easy to follow, but that day he was in a quandary about what Rose really meant. He thought she wanted him to go, but she said he couldn't – that had bothered him because he didn't like to be told what 'not' to do, but still, he thought, he didn't want to upset her. Finally, he couldn't take the indecision anymore and decided she could not boss him around, and he went shopping with her – from that point on, Emmett was an easy mark for Rose. She used that line on him every time she wanted him to do something with her or for her, and he never caught on. I had to admit, Esme was right. When Bella uttered those three words, I felt the challenge and couldn't resist what I did next.

Being careful not to hurt her, I began to lightly squeeze Bella's knee until she began to laugh. As she did she said, "If you don't stop, I'll tell your mother."

Laughing back at her, I replied, "I don't think my mother would object to a little fun."

"Then I'll sic my big brother on you," she retorted through her laughter.

"Oh, I think Emmett would enjoy holding you down while I tickle you," I responded as she laughed harder, and then to see what it would do, I moved my fingers around on her knee still applying a slight pressure. Not only did Bella's laughter increase, but also her squirming intensified, finally causing her to rub herself against my knee. Because of that rub, she let out a soft moan through her laughter, and then the knee of her other leg pulled up quickly into my crotch, and an entirely new emotion shot through my body making me instantly stop what I was doing and gently push Bella away from me. As soon as I felt my body's reaction to her movement, I turned away from her so she couldn't see.

Bella instantly stopped laughing and said, "I'm sorry, Edward. Did I hurt you?"

All her concern had been for me, so how was I supposed to tell her without embarrassing her? Her actions didn't hurt, she'd have to be stronger to cause me pain, but what it did do surprised me.

"I'm fine Bella, just give me a moment," and in that moment I hoped 'things' – or at least one 'thing' – would return to normal.

Bella laid her hand on my shoulder and then curled herself up to my back. "I am really sorry. I never meant to cause you pain."

I could have laughed at that comment because pain was the last thing on my mind. I had felt certain things for Bella before, but her touching me like that triggered a desire so strong that it shocked me as much as it surprised me. I hadn't realized before that I harbored such strong desires for her – desires that were beyond acceptable before marriage. I could not share this information with Bella, so I told her, "I really am fine. Why don't you go get ready, I want to take you somewhere."

"Edward, you're not mad at me are you?" Her voice was just barely a whisper and her tone carried the remorse for the hurt she thought she had caused me.

I laughed softly knowing pain was the least of my worries at that moment. "Bella, I'm not mad at you, and you really did not hurt me, but I do have a surprise for you after you get dressed." I kept my voice light and cheerful, which I must admit was easy for me to do, but I found it had to keep the longing to touch her out of my voice. I couldn't and wouldn't heed the desires that had erupted in me because of her inadvertent touch.

She rolled over in the bed as she said, "Okay," in an almost rejected tone.

I wanted so much to jump up and hug her, but until my 'problem' settled down, I didn't dare touch her or allow her to see how I had reacted to her knee to my groin.

As soon as the bathroom door closed behind Bella, I heard the bedroom door open as Emmett walked in.

"Is everything alright with Bella?" He asked before focusing on me and letting out a loud roar of laughter.

By rolling away from Bella, my body became visible to anyone walking in the door. Had I been wise, I would have thrown a blanket over myself to hide what I hadn't wanted Bella to see but what had been extremely obvious to Emmett as soon as he walked in. The one good thing was that his laugh embarrassed me so much that my 'problem' immediately shrank much to my relief and Emmett's amusement.

Keeping his voice low so Bella couldn't hear him, he chuckled, "So just what did Bella do to cause such a monumental reaction?"

It was futile to deny Bella's part in what happened so I admitted, "She kneed me," causing Emmett to chuckle even more.

"At least it doesn't hurt, not like when Rose knees me." Why Emmett found that amusing I wasn't sure, but he continued to chuckle as he added, "Maybe you should consider moving the wedding up a year or so – I'm sure Utah has lower age requirements for marriage licenses than any other state around."

I just groaned softly in reply. We both heard Bella making her way to the door, so Emmett slipped out of the room as Bella opened the door. "Was that Emmett I heard laughing?"

By that time, I was sitting up on the bed and facing the bathroom door. "Yes," I responded waiting for her to ask the next most obvious question, which surprisingly didn't come.

"So what's this surprise that you have in store for me?" She smiled as she walked over and sat down beside me.

'Why is it that she is so unpredictable?' I wondered even as I replied, "I'm taking you on a picnic," and with that, I took her hand, stood up pulling her along with me, and headed down stairs to the basket I knew Alice had ready for us on the kitchen counter.

Bella only drank a glass of apple juice for breakfast before she scanned the contents of the basket and then called out, "Thanks Alice," before we headed out the door.

Once we were in the car, she asked, "So, is where we are going a surprise?"

"No, but until we are away from the house I won't say – no tagalongs allowed," I told her.

"In other words, you don't want Emmett to know where we are," she replied with a smug little smile, which I laughingly returned.

It was a very pleasant drive to the lake, and with the windows rolled down, Bella's hair blew around her face in swirls causing her scent to waft continually around me. It was a marvelous scent, but my desires for her had been changing for some time. Oh, I still craved her blood, but I pushed that craving so far back that it was hardly noticeable. It was the newer desires that were causing me problems. These desires were so new to me that I wasn't sure how to handle them so that they wouldn't keep stealing to the front of my emotions. If they continued to create a problem for me, then I was going to have to talk to Carlisle and ask for help in pushing them back.

As we drove, I began my examination of Bella's life. I began with the basics, favorite color, favorite food, favorite drinks, and any other favorite I could think of. I did learn she had three favorite colors – green, blue, and red – in that order. I asked why three, and she claimed it was due to her indecisiveness, which was odd because I had never found Bella to be indecisive. When I mentioned that, she laughed and said I had never gone 'clothes shopping' with her, which was true – shopping for clothes was Alice's domain not mine, but Bella's comment made me curious, so I decided that I would go along next time Alice took her shopping.

Her favorite food I already knew since she had talked about Emmett introducing her to steak – rib eye to be exact – so that was no surprise to me, but then she added that she really like sauerkraut, which did surprise me. Most teens hated it when the school cafeteria served sauerkraut and hotdogs but Bella was, well, Bella. I had to keep reminding myself that nothing about her should have surprised me.

Moreover, her favorite drinks did not surprise me; Emmett had already informed me she likes cherry Kool-Aid, and I had already learned she also liked vanilla coke. Of course, the caffeine in coke kept her awake at night, she added, but it also helped revive her when she was tired. I could have told her the caffeine in coffee would have done the same for her, but refrained from making that comment. Besides, who was I to deny her something she really enjoyed, especially when she would have to sacrifice her food and drink enjoyments after becoming a vampire.

I next asked her about her favorite animal; I still wondered why she had compared me to a jaguar while she was sick.

"Anything in the cat family, definitely," she replied without hesitation and thought.

"Why?"

"Because of their grace of movement, of course. They are so much like you when you move, all sleekness and fluidity, never a missed step or awkward motion, always graceful in every movement you make. Gads! How I envy you that," she groaned.

"You're graceful in your own way," I reassured her.

"Yeah, I can see it every time I trip on those stupid stairs, and hardly a day goes by when I don't do it at least once," she countered.

"That's my Bella, optimistic to the end," I chuckled.

I was ready for her to snap back at my comment, and for a moment her expression told me she would, then something changed, maybe she thought of something, but whatever it was, she ended up laughing with me.

She had a beautiful laugh, but it didn't last long before she asked, "So, what other questions do you have for me?"

"Oh, just a few hundred more," I replied as I gazed smilingly at her. I waited for her to say something in reply, but when she didn't I prompted, "Is there any other reason why you compare me to a jaguar?"

She blushed as she looked away from me. "Well, dad once took me to a car show where they featured the newest models and one of them was a Jaguar. I think this was in 1955, so you might remember what that car looked like." She was right, I did, and I almost bought one but then changed my mind because I thought it was too flamboyant for a high school teenager. "I stared at the car a long time, and finally my dad said, 'That car is out of our reach, worth more than I make in a year's time.' After I first met you, I felt the same way. You were definitely out of my reach, and even though Alice assured me that you had feelings for me, I didn't believe her, but I did fantasize about being with you the same way I had fantasized about my family riding around in that car."

"Wow! I made your fantasies!" I was surprised, but I guess I shouldn't have been. "Do you still think I'm out of your reach?" I questioned.

She slid over beside me, wrapped her arm through mine, and said, "No, but I still fantasize about you."

I chuckled as I asked, "And just what do you fantasize about me?"

She blushed a deep scarlet, "Just things," she replied, and then refused to elaborate on just what those 'things' were.

The rest of the day went much the same. I asked questions and she answered. Some of her answers led to other questions, but as the day progressed, I felt that I was learning more about Bella in that one day than I had in the eight months I had known her. I discovered she had wanted a puppy and for three years running, she asked for one on every birthday and Christmas, but her father remained adamant about how dangerous dogs could be, so she never got one. In fact, her father allowed her no pets at all for various health related reasons.

Her comment about wanting a puppy gave me an idea, so I said, "Bella, what if I bought you a puppy?" I saw her face brighten but it quickly passed as she frowned. Realizing the problem, I offered, "We'll keep it in our room, and your father will never have to know."

A small smile began to turn up the corner of her lips causing me a moment of pleasure, but then that smile suddenly vanished, and Bella said, "Edward Cullen, don't you dare."

Feeling completely stunned by her retort to my offer, I asked, "Why?"

Her frown remained. "Can't you just see it," she declared, "Emmett would constantly be teasing me about what a great 'snack' the poor little thing would make."

I couldn't help but chuckle, but not at her or her comment, but at Emmett's off color way of picking on 'my Bella.' Just to assure her that I wasn't laughing at her, I took her in my arms and said, "Bella, I would never allow Emmett to do something like that to your puppy, but you're probably right. Even if I told him not to, he would still tease you anyway. Maybe a puppy is not a good idea," I concluded.

"It was a lovely idea," she murmured into my chest where I held her, "just not a practical one considering Emmett's warped sense of humor. Besides," she added as she pulled slightly away to look into my eyes, "it's the thought that counts," and then she kissed me.

From there, I learned that Bella never had a steady boyfriend, or even a boy as a friend, which caused me a considerable amount of pleasure. I felt a sense of pride that I was her first and hopefully only boyfriend and fiancée, and eventually I would be her husband.

She also admitted that she only ever had a few girlfriends, but after the incident at the fair and the next move her family made, she stopped becoming friends with people. Of her own relatives, she tolerated them, but didn't really like any of them. Even the cousins her own age, she felt little connection with because her family seldom visited them. Her dad only had one uncle who had one child, a cousin, and that cousin never married. On her mother's side, she had an uncle who had three children the oldest being ten years older than Bella. Bella's family had spent Thanksgiving with this cousin. The only lasting attraction she ever had for anyone, she admitted, was for her Uncle Peter, and he was not even family.

Another thing I learned about Bella concerned her desires for the future – marriage and maybe after a few years, college. She wasn't sure what she wanted to major in, but she was interested in literature and writing, but other than that, she hadn't thought that far ahead. Marriage seemed to remain her most relevant plan for the near future. She admitted she saw marriage as the one way of keeping me tied to her forever. What she refused to accept wholeheartedly was the fact that I had no intentions whatsoever of leaving her. I continually told her she was my future, but she still harbored the false assumption that I might get bored with her – as if I could ever become bored with her, she was a bundle of surprises and pleasures.

She also spent a lot of time talking about her mother. For Bella, her mother was the only friend she ever had who never deserted her. A deep bond existed between mother and daughter, and I felt guilty knowing that I would be the sharp-edged blade that might sever that bond. Once I bit Bella, she would never age, and unless her mother really knew the truth about us, Bella wouldn't be able to see her. I knew it would deeply hurt Bella if she could no longer see her mother, but I had no alternative because I refused to relinquish my relationship with Bella. She was my life, my reason for existing, and my reason for being a better person. I wanted Bella always to be proud of me, and I never wanted to disappoint her in anything I did or said. In the past, I made fun of my brothers for fawning over their wives, but now I understood why they did it.

As close as Bella and her mom were, she and her father were a different story. A chasm had developed between Bella and her father, and she felt it was so wide that nothing would ever fill the fissure between them. Bella shared much of her family's history with me that afternoon.

"Mom and dad met during their senior year of high school. Dad had just moved into the area and mom had grown up there. Dad's mother and father had been killed during that summer between his junior and senior year, so he moved in with his uncle and aunt, who happened to live three houses away from mom's parents. Mom said that she always thought it was love at first sight until she realized later that love and a crush were two very different things. Anyway, they dated through their senior year, and then dad proposed on graduation day. He told her he had enlisted in the military and if they got married right away, they would have two weeks together before the military shipped him off to boot camp. Mom, being the romantic she is, said yes. They were married two years before she became pregnant with me. I was born in October of 1942. Dad never was sent to war because of some injury he received during boot camp. He never really wanted to talk about it, but it had something to do with his inner ear and an equilibrium problem he had ever since that accident. Instead, the army sent him to officer training school and he became a recruiter. He is actually very good at what he does, which is why we move around a lot. The military sent him wherever they needed him to help boost enrollment, but I think he always resented the fact that he wasn't allowed to fight during the war. Anyway, my relationship with dad wasn't always strained. I vaguely remember a time when he would play with me and take me places without constantly warning me to be careful. I'm not sure how old I was at the time, but I must have been a small child. I think it was sometime after the car accident when he changed. Then it became, 'Bella be careful,' 'Bella don't go so close,' 'Bella don't do that,' and lately 'Bella that is too dangerous for you.' It's as if he is trying to suck all the thrill out of my life. If he ever found out what you and your family really were, he would lock me in my room and forbid me to ever see you again." She had laughed at that comment.

"Just what do you find so funny about that?" I asked.

"The concept of a locked door keeping you out of my room, that's what's so funny. You'd just come in through the window like you do now, but I'd never tell my dad that because then he might put bars on the windows." She laughed again, and then became serious. "You realize, Edward, that there is nothing he could do that would keep me away from you. You are as necessary to me as air for breathing. I'd never survive without you."

"Yes you would," I assured her. She would always have someone around to keep her safe from injury, but I didn't like the idea of someone else filling my role in her life.

"No, I don't think you understand." We were still sitting on the blanket I had spread out for the picnic, and she had moved slightly away from me after I had held her close earlier. After informing me that I didn't understand, she slid as close to me as possible. "I'm not talking about the bad luck or the accidents I seem to have, I'm talking about my emotional well being as well as my stability as a person. Without you, half of me would be missing, and I would hurt inside to a point where I don't think I could survive the pain. I think I would just curl up into myself and cease to exist. My body might remain, but I wouldn't." She focused her eyes on mine staring deeply into them and asked, "Do you understand?"

I did understand because I felt the same way about losing her. She was my other half and ripping that part of me away would emotionally kill me just as she said it would kill her.

I reached out and caressed her cheek, "Well, let's never do anything to find out if that is true or not," I told her.

"Be that as it may, my dad and I never were able to be close again. His resentment of you only shows how overly protective he is. He may think, as mom keeps telling me, that you are taking me away from him, but he actually pushed me away so often while I was growing up that the only thing that ever came between him and I was his treatment of me. I don't think anything will ever bring us close again." There was a pronounced sadness in her tone, so I reached out and pulled her into my lap so I could hold her close.

After that, we just sat silently for a few moments before Bella continued. "My life after that car accident was one of moving for various reasons. Most of the time, I was told my dad had been transferred, but as I got older, I suspected there were a few times when he requested a transfer. I think that is what happened after Uncle Peter came into my life. I think that was the only time I had seen my dad jealous of anyone, but Uncle Peter had become someone special in my life, and it broke my heart when we moved." She groaned very softly into my shoulder upon which she had leaned her head while she had been talking. "And to think all the time my mom had known where he was and had been talking to him. That still makes me mad."

I chuckled softly as I asked, "Are you jealous that she kept in contact and wouldn't let you talk to him as well?"

"Yes," she replied shortly, and then she swiftly added, "but don't you get jealous of that because I never loved him the same way I love you. To me, he was . . . no, let me amend that. To me, he is a favorite uncle, and he always knew how to have fun, plus, he didn't deny me the opportunity to have fun. When dad ripped him out of my life, I felt like I lost something and someone extremely important, and then I find out that my mom kept the connection that was denied me, well that really hurt."

"You have contact with him now, and I will not ever stop you from calling him from our house," I assured her.

"Really?" She asked as she lifted her head and looked at me.

"Really," I assured her again.

"Then, after we get back to your house, can I call him?" She had a tentative smile on her lips.

"Of course you can," I broadly smiled at her causing her smile to widen and brighten up her entire countenance. Anything that would make her that happy was something I would not deny her, and I reminded myself that I had nothing to be jealous of because at the New Year's dinner party he had informed us that he was in love with Bella's mother so I knew he would never be a rival for 'my Bella'.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" Her words sounded rather tentative and she began fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt.

"Anything," I replied confidently, making a serious mistake without realizing it.

"Tell me what 'petting' is and why Emmett was so against explaining it to me." She had stopped fidgeting and was looking me straight in the eyes with expectation. She really wanted an answer, and I had assured her she could ask me anything.

I made a mental note to myself at that moment to be more cautious about agreeing to Bella's requests without thoroughly thinking it through.

I knew Bella saw my hesitancy, for she asked, "Don't you know what it is?"

I could have laughed at that except it would appear rude or critical of her, and I wasn't hesitant because I didn't know. In fact, I knew more than I wanted because I had made the extreme mistake of asking Emmett about it, and he was extremely visual with his explanation. Seeing the definition played out between Rose and him was much more than I wanted, but it was his crude way of telling me why he didn't want me touching Bella in that manner, at least not until after we were married.

"_She's pure, Edward, undefiled, and I'd like you to leave her that way," he said._

"_And this from the man who taught her to play strip poker," I retorted with a laugh._

"_That was before I took her under my wing as my kid sister. I would never have allowed anyone to touch my kid sister that way when I was human, and I'm damn sure I don't want you touching my kid sister that way now. Bella is just as much my sister as Emily ever was." I may not have had Jasper's ability to feel Emmett's emotions at that moment, but I sure could see them in his eyes as he spoke._

Knowing all that, I had to figure out how to explain 'petting' to Bella in a vague yet acceptable manner.

"Well, are you going to answer my question?" She asked as she continued to stare at me.

Not really needing it, but doing it anyway, I took a deep breath. "Emmett was against explaining it to you so I wouldn't get any ideas of doing it, but explaining what it is will be harder for me."

"Why?" She began fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt again, but she finally dropped her intense gaze from my eyes and instead focused on my chest.

"Bella, I grew up in a time when it wouldn't have been acceptable for you and me to be on this picnic together without a chaperone. Young unmarried girls never spent time alone with young men."

"Could they if they were engaged?" She asked still fidgeting.

"No, they still needed a chaperone, but sometimes, if they were at the girl's house and her parents were in another room, they could be somewhat alone." I took her hand that was playing with my buttons, and kissed the tip of each of her fingers. I wasn't sure why I did it, I just felt the need to do it.

"So, it's okay that you're in my room all night because my parents are in the next room." It could have been a question, but she made it a statement of fact.

I laughed at that and said, "Not if your father ever caught me in there. He'd be less than pleased, and I know he would not find it acceptable in even this more enlightened age. Still, petting goes beyond me just lying in bed with you, or even kissing you," I added.

"Can you show me what it is?" She asked keeping her eyes away from me, but not pulling her hand away from mine as I still held it.

Her question shocked me, to say the least. I knew what it would entail, but I didn't have the bravado to touch her in such a manner; it was too improper, and I'd feel as if I was debasing her. "Bella, it isn't something nice girls allow," was all I could say.

"What if I don't want to be a nice girl?" She did look up at me with that comment, and the look she gave me made me wonder if she didn't already know what 'petting' was.

"Nice boys don't do it either," was my feeble response, and she pulled her hand out of mine.

"Then, could we pretend we're married just long enough for you to explain it to me?" Her hand returned to my buttons, but instead of fidgeting with them, she unbuttoned the top two, and then looked up into my eyes with expectations.

I stopped her hand as I watched her eyes, "Bella, how much do you already know?"

"About what, Edward?" She knew what I meant; I could see it in her eyes, but for some reason she was playing ignorant.

"Bella, love, tell the truth," I whispered softly as I used my thumb to caress the back of her hand while making sure our eye contact was not broken.

She breathed out softly before admitting, "Most everything, I guess."

I just continued our eye contact, but gave her a slight smile of encouragement.

"Well, Mrs. Hornbeck made the mistake of beginning the topic of dating and marriage again, and of course, Alice began asking questions again," she smiled at me.

I had been sitting with my legs out, and I had pulled Bella so she was sitting across them, but she suddenly turned and straddled my legs so we were face to face, and she was kneeling yet resting on my legs.

"You know, home economics can be more educational then I ever thought possible." She had a sly smirk on her lips and began to trace my lips with her finger. "While Alice was questioning Mrs. Hornbeck, two girls near me began talking about petting, and they were fairly graphic about what it entailed, and . . .," she took a pause before continuing, "they also discussed the merits of light petting versus heavy petting."

"I suppose you took notes," I commented smirking back at her.

"No, not really, but I do remember everything they said, and I can't help but admit that the idea intrigued me, but only if it involved you and me. I don't think it's an activity I would allow with anyone else." Before I could say 'I would hope not' with as much feeling of outrage at the idea, her finger now began to trail away from my lips and slowly moved toward my ear.

Bella had discovered very early on in our relationship that my ears were extremely sensitive, and her touching them caused some very sensual emotions to run through my body. Before I could reach out and stop her hand, she put her lips on mine and began kissing me. As she had done many times, she gripped my lower lip between her teeth and bit down softly. Even though my skin was much harder than hers, her biting my bottom lip still affected me, almost in the same manner as her playing with my earlobe, and she knew it – that's why she did it.

I could not suppress the moan that issued from deep within and instinctively I wrapped my arms around her waist, drew her as close to my body as possible, and kissed her back. I was even careless enough to run my tongue over her teeth causing her to release my bottom lip. She moaned in reaction to my touch and opened her mouth, just slightly, allowing my tongue to invade her mouth. I was conscious enough of what I was doing to make sure her tongue stayed in her mouth as I enjoyed not only the taste of her but also the feel. Just by running my tongue over her teeth, I could tell she had perfectly straight teeth, no fillings, and no cavities forming. Her mouth was perfect, and her taste was sweet nectar. I had her so mesmerized by my kissing that I was able to flip her over onto her back, straddle her at her waist, and then growl at her as I stopped kissing her.

"Bella, we are not going to participate in petting, not lightly and especially not the heavy kind. I think that is definitely something we should save until you are older."

I had hoped that my serious tone, the fact that I had her pinned to the ground, and my growl would make her drop the subject, but she just smiled and replied, "Okay, we'll wait until I'm seventeen."

All I could do was growl again, but this time in frustration. "You realize you'll be the death of me if you keep this up."

She just laughed, "You're already dead, but if you change me, we can run off, get married, and then do anything we want."

"Bella . . .," I wanted to tell her again about age playing a factor in changing her, but the way she looked at me with those loving and trusting eyes stopped me. I ended up saying, "I think it's time to go home." I instantly stood up pulling her up to her feet with me.

I quickly packed everything up in the basket that Alice had provided, and ushered Bella back to the car. Just so she wouldn't be too upset at me for my abrupt manner, I once again reminded her that she could call 'Uncle Peter' as soon as we arrived home. That promise did cheer her up, but I knew she would return to the discussion of petting and 'all' she had been taught in that accursed home economics class she had taken.

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Another note, I have two stories up for an award at http:/ twificpics (dot) com/ vampawards/. Leave out the spaces and add the dot, and please go and vote for the two stories of mine that were nominated. Thanks.**


	61. Chapter 61 Reinforcements

**AN: Disclaimer - I do not own any of the original _Twilight_ characters. Sorry this took so long to post, but because it is a cliff-hanger (you are forewarned), I wanted to finish the next chapter before posting this one. If my beta readers can return the next chapter by Friday, at the latest, then I can post the next chapter on Saturday. Also, you may notice that this is a long chapter.  
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**I hope everyone enjoys it and leaves a review with their opinions and thoughts. Thank you.**

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**Journal Supplement – Reinforcements – [June 1959 by Carlisle Cullen]**

It fell to me to write this chapter because I played the major role in making contacts and setting up a meeting to delve into the issue of the mysterious lady who approached Bella in the Redwood forest and then began calling to her from our woods. I had a fair inkling of who the lady might be, but I needed to study the situation more before making my diagnosis and then the final telephone call.

My first call was to Aleksey since he was Bella's nearest, although not by direct blood, 'relative' with which I could actually discuss the situation. He had left me a contact number for reaching him whenever he wasn't in Colorado. Lately, he had been making reoccurring trips to Washington upon Alice's request. I had a notion she was trying to convince him to open a spa in the Tacoma area. It would be nice for Bella to have him around, but I suspected Alice's main reason for his relocation was so she could frequent his spa for massages; she never stopped mentioning how much she had enjoyed having someone, who was a skilled masseur, who was capable of giving her a massage. Not a skill a human masseur could achieve.

Esme and I already considered Bella a part of our family, and as such, we were concerned with her safety as much as we would be for anyone of our other children. That fact added to my resolve to make a call I thought I would never make. After scrutinizing few books that usually gathered dust on my shelves and an extended conversation with Emmett, I concluded that I had no other choose, so I picked up the telephone and made a call I had hoped I would never have to make. After much deliberation on my part, the situation seemed serious enough to warrant a call to an acquaintance of my vampire youth.

Bella was a frequent visitor at our house, and I waited until her weekend visit to gather the family together to inform them of the decision that I had made; it was the first important decision I had made without input from my family.

As with all our meetings, we sat around the large dining room table. Esme had argued, when we first bought the table, that seating for eight was necessary even though there were only seven in the family. Whether Esme had some premonition about the addition was open for debate, but with Bella's arrival in the family, we needed that extra place.

After everyone sat down, I looked around at each of their expectant faces before I rose from my chair and announced, "We are going to have some visitors at the end of the month. In fact, they will be here next weekend. I will need everyone to remain at the house because a meeting will be held that you will all need to attend." I looked toward Bella as I said, "Alice will arrange for you to spend the weekend, and," I looked toward Edward, "Edward, you will need to remain at her side at all times. Never let her out of your sight."

Emmett asked the obvious question, but I knew that Edward was already aware of what was coming because he just silently nodded his head. "Carlisle, what guests are we expecting and why the extra precautions for Bella?"

I looked around at each of their faces before admitting, "The Protectors are coming," which caused some gasps and shocked stares. Then I amended, "Not all of them, but a small contingency who are currently in the United States. Aleksey will also be here." I looked over at Bella again, "I thought it wise for him to attend since this issue concerns your safety, but I do not think it is wise to pull your mother into this."

"Why would mom have to attend?" Bella's confusion was evident on her face and I wondered how much she knew about her mother.

"Bella, I suspect that your mother already knows what we are, and I'm almost as positive that she has known about Aleksey almost as long as you have." The surprise on Bella's face at my words confirmed my suspicions. "Bella, your mother is a very bright, observant woman, almost as observant as you are."

Bella took the information extremely well, but that didn't surprise me. "Well, I guess I don't have to be so secretive around her."

I cautioned Bella, "I wouldn't be too open with her. Your mother does not admit to knowing anything, and for her, right now, that is a wise move. It is safer if the Protectors think that you are the only human who knows about us especially since you have already betrothed yourself to Edward. Your knowledge about vampires should not be an issue since they will understand that only your age stops you from becoming one of us. In your mother's case, however, they might require her to be changed, and I will not force that on anyone."

"Should I ask what would happen if she refused?" Bella carefully scrutinized each of our serious faces and added, "I think I guessed as much." It had not taken Bella long to realize the consequences of refusal.

"You sure don't let the grass grow under your feet, sis," Emmett piped in.

"Meaning what?" Bella shot back slightly upset.

"It's not a bad thing Bella," he replied holding up his hands like he would have to ward off an attack from her, which caused me to smile because we all knew she would never be able to dispense any real damage to him even if she tried. In fact, had she tried, I would be tending to her physical wounds rather than his.

"Then what do you mean?" This time her tone was calmer.

"It just means that you are not slow at comprehending and that you didn't have to stand around and wait for someone to explain the consequences to you," Jasper informed her.

"Oh, okay then, I guess that's alright," Bella replied.

"We need to return to the business at hand," I stated drawing them all back to the issue we had been discussing. "We will not only be hosting the Protectors, but we will also have some other company as well." Every eye focused on me. "You all know that the Protectors' purpose is to keep us all safe, but by 'we,' I do not mean just vampires. There are so many other non-human beings out there, and we all need protection at times from humans and at times, from each other. Because of this, I thought it wise to include at least representative for the other groups that reside in this area." I heard the murmuring beginning, but Edward kept his focus only on me. 'It will be alright Edward,' I assured him non-verbally, but I'm not sure if he believed me.

"Did you see this happening," Jasper asked Alice.

"Not exactly," she replied.

"What did you see?" This time I wondered what she might have foreseen.

"I saw visitors, and I knew they were not human, but other than that, I really didn't see much else. No, Edward, I didn't see any harm coming to Bella." Alice's last comment made it evident that Edward had directly asked her a question none of us could hear.

I always knew the two of them could communicate, but it was always rather uncanny to see it actually occurring. Telepathy was what people studying the paranormal were calling it; to hear and read about it was one thing, but to see it happening was another, which reminded me of another concern.

"I would caution all of you to keep your specific talents hidden from our visitors. They may suspect one or possibly two of us have some special talents, but I would prefer to keep each of your talents unmentioned. Let them speculate, but confirm nothing," I warned. Turning to Edward, I cautioned, "Keep Bella safe, but don't hide her, just stay near her. I imagine Aleksey will do the same, but please, don't be defensive against him. It is not as if he is trying to take her from you. He only wants the same thing you do – her safety, please remember that."

Emmett chuckled not only at my words of caution but also at the look on Edward's face. Bella only smiled and laid a reassuring hand on Edward's arm. Over the past few months, it had surprised me at how often Bella was able to stay Edward's wrath. Before her, Edward had a short temper and Emmett found it easy to start a fight with him. Now, Emmett found himself thwarted by this slip of a girl, but he didn't seem to mind. Rose had been correct when she said the bond between Emmett and Bella was strong, and Bella filled the void that existed ever since Emmett lost his human sister as a result of his change. Bella's presence actually affected our entire family, but her influence exhibited the most profound and positive effects on Edward and Emmett. Bella presence had filled missing and needed areas in both Edward and Emmett's existence – albeit in different ways, and for this, Esme and I were both thankful.

Coming back to the purpose of the meeting, I warned, "You may all need to prepare yourselves for these visitors. Make sure you hunt well between now and their arrival. I don't want anyone feeling hungry while we have others from the various other groups around us. I have already advised the Protectors that we do not feed off humans, and they assured me that they would avoid feeding while they are in Tacoma. Our family cannot afford humans to become suspicious of our guests or us. Our guests are well aware of this fact, and I foresee no real problems, but Alice, it would benefit us all if you were to keep a watch for any mishaps that might occur."

"I can do that Carlisle," Alice replied, and I had no doubt about her abilities or sincerity. If she thought for one moment that something appeared threatening to Bella, we would all hear about it. As much as Emmett saw Bella as his replacement little sister, Alice also saw her as the sister and best friend she never had. Alice did call Rose sister and friend, but Rose held herself more aloof and the relationship between the two never had a chance to develop as deeply as the relationship between Alice and Bella.

"Okay, that is all I have for now. As soon as I have a specific arrival time, I will let everyone know, and I'll keep you informed of any other news that might come my way." Everyone began to pair off and head to separate parts of the house.

More than likely, the meeting would dominate most conversations throughout the night. I saw that Edward was going to stay. I knew he had more questions about the visitors and Bella's safety, but I had no more information to share than what he had already heard, so I just shook my head at him. Bella gave me a reassuring smile as Edward took her hand and then led her out of the room.

I went to the sanctuary and solitude of my den where not even Esme followed me. I spent the greater part of the night contemplating the other guest who might show up. Since we lived so near the Cascade Mountain Range, I figured the dwarfs would be one group represented. They preferred the caves and caverns of mountains, and the mountains would make a perfect place for their homes. I did not see any member of their people being a threat to Bella. The national forests around the mountains also provided protections for animals of all types, so it wouldn't surprise me if at least one pack of werewolves hadn't taken up residence in them. Of this group, I was a little more leery. One could never predict how a werewolf would react around a human.

At one time, hostility existed between the vampires and werewolves in Europe, but then humans began to hunt both of our people, and we recognized that we had a mutual enemy. Due to necessity, both groups decided to come to terms with each other and discovered that our peaceful co-habitation guaranteed mutual survival of both species. Since that time, at least one werewolf had always been a member of the Protectors, but that information was something I had not yet openly shared with my wife or my children. Even when I discussed the Protectors with the family at Christmas, neither Aleksey nor I mentioned the addition of werewolves to them. I cannot give a definitive reason for withholding that information from my family, but I never felt obligated to share that bit of knowledge with them. It would be something I knew I would have to definitely share with them in the very near future.

A soft knock on the door pulled my out of my reflections. "Carlisle, may I come in?"

"Yes Edward." Without him saying a word, I could tell from the look on his face that he had overheard my thoughts. With so much to contemplate, I had failed to conceal my thoughts from him.

"Do you think Bella will be safe with a werewolf in the house?" Concern etched deep worry lines on his brow, but I could not refute his reasoning for his apprehension.

"No one will allow any harm to come to her. I will make it clear that her protection will be our primary consideration. I have no doubt that Aleksey will be just as protective of her as any of us will be while the visitors are here." I rose from my chair where I had allowed myself the luxury of relaxing while I had been deep in thought. Walking over to him, I placed a hand on his shoulder and reassured him, "You have nothing to fear. Everyone in the family will help keep her safe."

"I trust you Carlisle, but I cannot say I trust them. They may not see things the way we do. They may feel she is a threat to them."

His fear was evident even though he tried to hide it, but I could not fault him for his feelings. Bella was his other half and he would fiercely fight anyone who tried to harm her or take her from him. Once the Protectors realized she was his soul mate, they would understand his defensive stance on her behalf.

"Watch over her Edward. Don't allow her out of your sight until this is all over." I gave him the best advice I had, and I knew he would not leave her side unless it was mandatory.

Without another word, he turned and made his way back to his room, and I closed the door as soon as he left. I knew it would be a long week, but with any luck, by the time the next weekend was over, this would all be behind us.

We all seemed to spend the week in different ways. Rose spent the week keeping Emmett, who seemed the most unsettled by the concept of the Protectors coming, busy. She decided to tune up all the cars and declared that Emmett had to help her while working on the cars; she also took him hunting three times during the week declaring she needed the snacks, but I knew she was just trying to keep him occupied.

Alice, on the other hand, spent the week shopping; by the time she was done, we all had new wardrobes, and she and Esme ended up taking boxes of slightly worn clothes to the different charity organizations in Tacoma. She also spent time at our brokers dealing with our stock portfolios, and at the same time, with my approval, she began a portfolio for Bella declaring it would be part of the wedding gift she would give Bella on her wedding day. Her foresight prompted me to set up savings and checking accounts for Bella in anticipation of her becoming part of our family. Alice and I both knew not to share any of this with Bella, for she would just argue both were unwarranted and something she would not need, but Alice and I both knew there would be a time when she would find the funds advantageous to her and Edward. Besides, I had a feeling she would not always want to go to Edward for money after becoming the newest member of our family.

Jasper and Esme both had their own unique ways of passing the time during the week. Jasper steeped himself in reading, and Esme threw herself into remodeling plans for the house, which meant when the weekend was over, and the situation with Bella was resolved, the house would undergo massive changes with everyone expected to lend a hand with the renovations.

I spent most of my time at the hospital, and one thing I was thankful for was that Bella did not make a visit as a patient. Edward did bring her in for a brief visit because she was concerned over Aleksey being around for the weekend. She was troubled that her father would find out and become upset about his presence.

Bella still didn't know that Aleksey had finally made the decision to move to Tacoma and start Alice's proposed business, but I also suspected Aleksey based his decision partly on what had been occurring with Bella, and his concern for her overall welfare. Alice, between shopping and visiting our broker, helped Aleksey during the week set up his new business. She had decided he could not call it a massage parlor, so she referred to it as a health spa, and she declared it would open before the week was over, which was an ambitious task on Alice's part due to everything else she was trying to accomplish during the week.

For his part, Edward, much to Richard Swan's chagrin, spent her every waking hour with her, and unbeknownst to her father, he spent her every sleeping hour with her. The only time he was not with her was the few minutes he had to pretend to go home at night, the half an hour she spent getting up in the morning, and the two times he had to go hunting. While he hunted, Bella was left under Alice's meticulous care.

As soon as I received a time when the visitors would assemble at our home, I notified Esme and the children. Alice had arranged a weekend sleepover for Bella early in the week, and Bella's mother mentioned to Alice that her husband and she would also be out of town that weekend; she had told Alice something about a little time together away from home. Alice had a troubled look when she relayed the information, but she would not explain what had bothered her about the comment.

Alice picked Bella up early Saturday morning, and then everyone tried to find ways to stay busy until early evening when the first visitors were to arrive. The tension around the house caused a few minor flair-ups until Bella suggested they all gather around the table and play board games. Emmett wryly suggested poker, but I vetoed the idea since I knew the type of poker he preferred playing. After Bella suggested the board games, I went to my study where I remained for most of the day, but I could tell whatever Bella had chosen to play seemed to be entertaining to Emmett because he laughed quite often. Of course, that might also have had something to do with Bella herself; Emmett often laughed at things Bella said or did, which amused Rose because she claimed she had not seen Emmett laugh as much as he had since Bella came into the family.

A little before six that evening I went downstairs to begin preparing the dining room for the meeting. We had already purchased more chairs to set around the table, and I wanted to make sure the children cleaned the room before anyone arrived. What I saw as I stood in the doorway caused me to laugh. Emmett stood in an empty space they had created by moving the dining room table to the side of the room, and he was spinning a hula-hoop around his hips. As I watched, I could tell he was trying to make the hoop slide down his body but as it reached just below his hips, he lost momentum and the hoop just dropped to the floor causing everyone, including me, to laugh.

"What exactly are you playing?" I asked as I finally walked into the room.

"Monopoly," Bella answered as she looked over at me.

"Tell me, since when is a hula-hoop part of Monopoly?" I asked wondering if I had played a different version of the game than the one Bella had brought over.

"Since I added it to the game about a week ago," she replied with a bright smile. I stared at her questioningly and she continued, "The last time I played this with Emmett, he said it was boring, so I decided to spice it up a little. Now, when you land on someone's lot, you have to perform some trick with the hula-hoop or you have to pay twice the required rent. If you are successful in the trick, then you only have to pay half the rent, but if you fail, then you have to pay the full rent. When you want to buy a property, you have to perform some trick required by the person who owns the property. If you are successful, then the owner has to sell you the property. Of course, there are some tricks that certain people in this room just cannot do," she chuckled as she looked over at Emmett, "And then there are some people who can do everything," and her eyes locked on Alice at that comment.

"At least it made the game more interesting," Emmett chuckled.

"And just what were you suppose to be doing with the hula-hoop?" I asked him.

Bella and Alice laughed as Emmett replied, "I was suppose to make the stupid thing move down to my knees and then make it come back up to my hips," he glared at Alice and Bella as he spoke. "Only girls have the hips and wiggles to do such a thing," he added while still glaring at them causing them to both laugh even harder.

I held back my own laugh as I said, "Well, I think it's time to put everything back where it belongs and bring the extra chairs in," just as I finished speaking, the doorbell rang.

Alice flittered away saying, "I'll get that."

Jasper and Emmett returned the table to the center of the room, and then Bella began putting away the game pieces as the boys began placing the chairs around the table.

"Look who I found at the door," Alice chimed as she walked in leading Aleksey.

"Uncle Peter," Bella cried as she launched herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck while he lifted her four inches off the ground. One look at Edward and I could see his discomfort at the affection he saw the two sharing. I just smiled to myself knowing he needed to accept the fact that Aleksey was a part of Bella's life as much as he was.

"Moe schast'e, it is good to see you also," Aleksey replied. I was surprised Bella didn't ask what his Russian term of endearment meant, and then I wondered if he had called her 'my happiness' when he first established his relationship with her.

"And me you. How long are you staying?" Bella replied as Edward frowned while Aleksey continued to hold her.

'Edward,' I knew it would be best to hold this conversation with him silently. 'You need to share her with those she loves. Her love for Aleksey is just like her love for Emmett. Do not confuse her feelings for them with her feelings for you.' Edward shifted his gaze to me as I spoke and his look softened somewhat, but I could tell it was harder for him to give part of her to Aleksey than it was to give a part to Emmett. Emmett's intention he knew; he still seemed to doubt Aleksey's intentions toward Bella even though Aleksey had admitted during our holiday trip that he was in love with Bella's mother.

"Didn't Alice tell you?" Aleksey finally placed Bella back on her feet.

"Tell me what?" Bella glanced over at Alice.

"That I've opened a business here in Tacoma." He smiled down on her.

"Really?" Her response was a slight squeal laced with joy.

"Yes, malyutka. I'll be able to see you much more often, but," he hesitated a moment and then smiled saying, "I think your father will not be happy if he learns I'm this close to his family." He then lowered his voice for Bella and could not help but know everyone else would hear anyway, "and I think your boyfriend might become jealous if we spend too much time together." Again, Bella did not seem confused with his Russian endearment of 'little one' but Edward frowned when he heard it.

Bella giggled and lightly slapped Aleksey's arm. "That's funny Uncle Peter. Why would Edward be jealous of you?"

"I think he believes I might steal you away. Malyutka, could I steal you away?" He asked with a huge smirk on his face. He intended the look, I believe, for Edward, but his eyes never left Bella's.

"No, that's not possible. I'd never leave Edward, not by choice anyway. If someone thought they could take me from him, it would be with me kicking, screaming, and putting up one heck of a fight." The fervor in Bella's voice finally caused Edward to smile slightly, and then she turned, walked over to him, and wrapped her arm around his waist as she leaned into his side. "I will always and forever want to remain with Edward." This action cause Edward to smile more, and he wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulder solidifying their hold on each other.

"I have no doubt about that malyutka," Aleksey replied. Aleksey then turned in my direction and asked, "So, do you know who will be arriving?"

"Mostly," I admitted. "Three of them will be here representing the Protectors. I personally know one of them, but I'm not familiar with the other two. Jerome Garrott is from England and I knew him during the 1700's prior to coming over to this country, and then Phillip Marchand is from France and Markus Frieder hales from somewhere in Germany."

"I served with Markus while I was a Protector. He is a good person and fair. Who else?"

Alice had foreseen visitors, but she had not been able to distinguish what groups they represented. Mostly, she admitted, she saw only vague forms.

"I believe there will be one representative from the werewolves, dwarfs, and Fae, but I'm not sure if any other group will be represented." As a spoke, I carefully watched Bella's expression. I saw not only surprise but also shock register in her eyes as Aleksey and I spoke.

"So many?" She whispered to Edward causing Aleksey and Emmett to laugh.

"Bella, whispering will not help. We can all hear you." Aleksey explained when she turned to the two with a scowl on her charming face.

"Then don't listen," she retorted, but then must have realized the futility of her comment causing her to laugh also. "Okay, forget I just said that," she finally added.

"It's okay Bella, they both just wanted you to be aware that even whispers will be heard by everyone present this evening," Edward informed her.

"Sure, super hearing all around the table while the lone human will miss anything whispered, seems rather unfair to me," Bella grumbled.

"I'll make you a promise sis. If anyone says something you need to know about, I'll tell you," Emmett assured her.

"Even if it will upset me?" She asked Emmett in return.

"Yes, even if it upsets you, I'll still share it with you. You have a right to know what is discussed especially tonight when it concerns you." Emmett walked over and took her free hand. "I promise they will not keep anything from you that you really need to know."

"Thanks Emmett," she beamed up at him.

"We will both keep you informed," Edward added, and Bella smiled up at him causing him to grin back down at her.

Over the years, Esme and I had almost lost hope that Edward would ever find someone he could love in the same manner I love Esme. When I chose Rose, I based it upon looks and acquaintance. Edward had a nodding acquaintance with her as a human, and I thought something could grow from that, but my judgment had been off and we ended up with two very unhappy children until Rose found Emmett. I had my hopes that if Rose could find someone, then so could Edward, but as the years passed, he shunned all the girls he met.

When I first heard about Bella, I feared her blood was what drew him to her, but Alice saw far more than any of us and not just because of her visions. She saw how Edward acted around Bella, and how he looked at her when he thought no one else was watching. Alice had been right when she claimed that Edward was falling in love, and as to Bella's feelings, well, those were very evident on Bella's face the first time I saw her in the same room with him. He might have been ignoring her, but she certainly did not ignore him, but she also didn't try to faun all over him as I had seen some other girls do. Even girls who were like us tried to gain his attention, but like a giant redwood tree, Edward did not bend to any of the breezes caused by those girls who blew past him. With Bella, however, Edward not only moved with her presence but he bent toward her just as that same redwood would bend to reach the life-giving sun and water. Bella was Edward's life force, and even though he wasn't truly alive, he still did exist, and Bella gave him a reason to continue existing. Bella meant more to our family than she realized. With that motivation in mind, the family would allow no harm to reach her; hence, the reason for my decision to call such a meeting.

It didn't take long for all the other participants to appear. The first arrivals were the Protectors Phillip, Jerome, and Markus. Next were a werewolf and a dwarf, who did not surprise me, but I was surprised when the mermaid arrived to represent her people. I had long ago heard that the mer-people could assume human form for a certain period of time, but this had been the first time I had seen evidence of those rumors. The final arrivals were the two Fae, and the moment Bella saw them she leaned over and whispered to Edward.

"That's her. That's the lady from the forest." Bella could have whispered as softly as she wanted, but with super sensitive hearing, everyone heard what she said.

Emmett only glared at the couple, and Edward . . . well, if Bella hadn't been clutching Edward's arm, Jasper and I would have had a hard time restraining him. Watching that slip of a girl restrain a vampire with 1,000 fold her strength was interesting as well as amazing, and I very much doubted that she knew how much power she held over Edward. Even at that time, I wondered if Edward realized how much power Bella held over him.

I was quick to usher everyone into the dining room so we could begin our meeting. I had a feeling the evening was going to prove uncomfortable for most of the family especially once we recognized that the woman who had tried to lure Bella into the woods behind our house was more than anyone had previously imagined.

Being a gracious host, I first introduced my family as well as Aleksey to our guests, and then I had them introduce themselves. Jerome, Markus, and Phillip, I noticed he used the traditional French pronunciation as he introduced himself, were the first introductions offered around the table. They also added that they only represented the Protectors but currently were not serving officially as members, but that their reports back would determine any actions the Protectors would take if needed. I did not concern myself with their comments because I knew Jerome would keep me forewarned of any problems for my family that might occur, and I suspected Markus would do the same with Aleksey.

The werewolf spoke next informing us that his name was Andreas Meinhardt and that his pack roamed the Snoqualmie National Forest in Washington, and then Zdenko, the dwarf, informed us that his people lived in the Cascade Mountain Range. Aideen, who had an Irish lilt to her voice, claimed her people lived in Oden Bay in Idaho; at which comment, I noted a slight shock in Bella's eyes. Queen Isolda was last introducing herself and her son, Prince Taranis.

With the introductions completed, I addressed the purpose of the meeting. "I originally called for this meeting because someone, who has remained invisible to us, has been trying to lure Bella," I gestured in her direction as recognition, "into the woods for reasons unknown to us. Since everyone heard Bella's admission, it now seems obvious that Queen Isolda was the one attempting to lure her off for reasons still unknown to my family."

I wanted everyone in the room to realize one important fact, and as I looked around the room, I knew I had to make a stipulation for everyone's benefit and for Bella safety.

"I must state there is one caveat, and that concerns young Bella. You are to take no actions against her and no harm is to come to her, for I can promise all of you that when she comes of age Edward will not only change her but also marry her. Both of them have mutually agreed on this, and she has willingly chosen to be changed. If age were not a factor for her now, she would have chosen the change when she first realized Edward returned her love." Everyone around the table gave a slight nod with the exception of Queen Isolda and her son.

"How long has she known your family's secret?" Phillip asked.

"From the moment she first met my son." Truth was the way I wanted to approach most of the information about Bella.

"You told her?" Markus asked looking at Edward.

"No sir, she knew without anyone telling her," Edward informed the group.

"How did you know?" Phillip looked at Bella who shyly looked at Aleksey.

"I knew because of the similarities between him and Uncle Peter," she replied softly keeping her eyes focused on the table's surface.

"Uncle Peter?" Phillip asked.

I had not introduced Aleksey as Uncle Peter, so Bella added, "I have always called Aleksey Uncle Peter, and it is hard to remember he has another name."

Markus looked at his friend, "You told her?"

Aleksey's rich chuckle wafted around the room. "No, even as a child, she was amazingly perceptive. She figured out what I was on her own."

"A child?" Phillip questioned.

"Yes, she was six years old when I encountered her." Aleksey admitted.

"Tell us about it," it was the first time Jerome spoke.

"I had been hunting around Mt. Spokane State Park, and I heard about a rogue bear that was killing campers. I saw the bear as a threat to myself and as competition, so I tracked it down and killed it. It just so happened that the bear was actually following the trail of young Bella, and I found her just shortly after I dispatched it. The bear had been unusually strong and I had abstained from drinking for a while, so when I found Bella, I was hungry. I knew it wasn't safe feeding on a child, but I thought just a little wouldn't harm her, and I planned to be extremely careful. I had just bitten her when I realized she was watching me and not affected like most humans. When I tried to make her forget what happened, she asked me why I had bitten her. Nothing I did or said would make her forget."

"But your mind is stronger than most," Markus disclosed. I had always thought that Aleksey had something he held back from us about himself, and I saw a knowing glint enter Edward's eyes.

'You knew?' I asked Edward silently and he replied with the subtlest nod.

"It didn't have any effect on her," Aleksey admitted.

Jerome turned his gaze toward Bella before turning back to me. He didn't need to say anything, but I knew he would reveal to me later what he suspected of Bella. Jerome had the ability to discern the potential of any human's hidden ability.

"Continue," Phillip directed.

"I asked Bella not to mention anything to her parents about what happened, and she readily agreed, but I knew that children have a tendency to speak without thinking, so I kept a close eye on her, and I made frequent visits to her house – in a social type of setting of course," he added. "Bella never once mentioned what occurred and she began calling me Uncle Peter. Peter being the name I went by during that time." Bella and Aleksey shared a smile. "I stayed around the Spokane area for almost a year, and then Bella's father moved the family away."

"But how did you know she discovered your secret?" Markus asked.

"I told him," Bella offered. With all sets of eyes on her, she added, "I saw a movie with a vampire in it and I figured it out. I didn't ask if he was one. Instead, I told him I knew he was a vampire. He could have denied it all he wanted, but once I said it, I knew it was true."

Everyone was silent as Bella finished talking; the silence ended when Emmett broke out in a hearty laugh. When he finally stopped, he declared, "Our Bella has a way of just knowing many things, and once she makes up her mind, it just does not change."

Jasper and Alice both laughed in agreement with Emmett's comment, and even Esme had to cover her mouth to repress her own laugh of agreement.

"Tell me child. Have you always been so perceptive about the world around you?" Phillip asked.

"Yes," she replied simply with a slight smile.

"Do you understand why?" Phillip pressed.

"Why I was always like that or why I was perceptive?" Bella quarried.

"Both," Phillip clarified.

"I always thought it was because I asked so many questions, but I'm not really sure that is the answer. I think there are just some things that I all of a sudden know to be true, but I have no idea of where that insight comes from. It is as if I just know that I know that it is the truth." She smiled slightly again as she finished.

"As Emmett mentioned, my malyutka is very perceptive. I suspect she has always been that way," Aleksey added.

"I believe she has been," Jerome reinforced. Jerome then turned the focus of the discourse and his visual focus on the Fae queen as he asked, "What I'm wondering is why you, your majesty, have been trying to lure the child away from this family?"

With a haughty look and tone, Queen Isolda proclaimed, "This child belongs to my people. I marked her the day she was born."

"No, you didn't," Zdenko quickly countered slamming his fist down on the table causing Esme to flinch. "Unseen by any of the humans or you, one of mine was also present at the child's birth, and you never had the opportunity to mark her. The nurse took the baby away before you were even able to touch her, and then she was protected from your marking by a charm my servant placed around her. That was the last time you were near her, for my people have continued to watch you all these years. Approaching her in the giant redwood forest was only your second attempt on her, but by then it was too late for you to place your mark because someone else had already marked her."

I knew of marking among the different races, but I had never seen any mark or scar on Bella that wasn't the result of some childhood accident, and being her doctor, I was sure I would have seen more of her than Edward had. Still, if what Zdenko said were true, the question was who marked her? And why?

"You lie." The Queen's declaration rang through the room

"She has been marked," Aleksey declared. "I marked her when she was but a child."

"Show me the mark," Queen Isolda demanded.

Three strong male voices replied in unison, "No." Edward, Aleksey, and Emmett's denials did not surprise me, and then Emmett continued. "It would be improper for my sister to show you a mark that is in a rather private area, and if you are unwilling to take the word of this man, then you should take the word of my mother who has seen the mark."

'Has she?' I silently asked Edward who only offered an almost unnoticeable shrug.

All eyes turned to Esme, but I watched Bella and noticed the slight blush creeping up her pale skin.

"I can assure you that I have seen the mark," Esme affirmed without a hint of hesitation.

"Young one," Markus addressed Bella, "Is it true this vampire bit you when you were but a child?"

Bella, who had avoided many of the eyes around the table, looked directly at Markus, and in a confident unwavering voice replied, "Yes, he did bite me the first time I met him." She glanced quickly at Edward briefly before adding, "And he put some kind of mark on me the last time I saw him before my father moved us away. He said it would keep me safe from other predators out in the world, but I didn't understand what he meant at the time."

"Where did he place the second mark?" Phillip inquired.

Bella looked once more at Edward before turning back to the others around the table and said, "It is not where everyone thinks it is," and then she slowly lifted up her arm, which was bare due to the sleeveless blouse she wore, and pointed to a spot just under her armpit. Perfect vision has advantages for vampires for it allowed all of us to see the faint small scar, which when I first saw it I had accredited to some accident.

"Did he drink your blood when he bit you?" Jerome asked.

I knew where this was leading. A true mark drew blood and left a slightly visible mark, but no one tasted or drank the blood. If Aleksey drew and drank her blood, then Bella remained unmarked and that meant anyone could still claim her.

"No, and this one hurt. The first time he bit me, it didn't hurt. He said the pain was only temporary, would fade fast, and would keep me safe. He didn't use his teeth to make this mark, he used his fingernail." All present could discern Bella's sincerity, but Edward seemed upset by the fact that Aleksey had marked her so she must not have shared that information with him. I hoped he would not hold that against Bella for she was involved in something she did not fully understand.

"Did the mark bleed?" Jerome asked.

"Yes but not very much." Bella replied.

"Did your parents never ask where the mark came from?" Markus inquired.

"No, you see, the spot Uncle Peter picked already had a scar from a previous injury, so it was not a new mark but one made over an old scar. After the first few years of my life, my mother stopped asking how I got my injuries she just patched them up. This one Uncle Peter put a band-aid on, and I took it off a few days later. My mother never saw it."

Queen Isolda glared at Aleksey as she snapped, "You had no right to mark what was mine."

"What claim did you have on the child?" Phillip asked.

"I chose her the moment she was conceived to be my son's bride," she pointed to Taranis who sat beside her. "I appeared at her birth with the intent to mark her as one of ours. Had it not been for the storm, I would have marked her before any one was aware of what was happening." Ice dripped from the Queen's words.

Zdenko sneered, "It would never have happened. My servant would have stopped you from ever marking the child."

Jerome, Phillip, and Markus all shared a look before Markus asked, "Is there a reason why your people would interfere in such an action."

Zdenko shot a look of hatred toward Taranis as he said, "No human child should suffer Prince Taranis as a mate. There exists no fouler being in this area than he is. My people have watched him for years, and his crimes go unpunished because of his mother's protection, but now it is possible that with your support, or at least the support of the Protectors, his crimes will be stopped."

"What crimes has he committed?" Phillip asked.

For the first time, the werewolf spoke, "By his hand, a number of my people have been slain, and I know of at least one of the mer-people who disappeared after conversing with the prince." Andreas then turned to Zdenko, "And I believe he has committed a few crimes against your people as well."

"He has, the greatest of which was stealing from our royal treasury, a crime punishable by death under our laws," Zdenko stated. "His greatest crimes, however, are the ones he has committed against this human child." He added with a wave of his hand from Taranis to Bella before finishing, "I suggest you stop interfering in the human child's life."

To that allegation, the queen replied, "Exactly what are you implying?"

Zdenko countered, "I think that is a question you should direct to your son."

In a sugary sweet tone laced with undercurrents of venom, she asked, "Taranis, what does the dwarf mean?"

* * *

Russian terms of endearment for children

malyutka – my happiness

Moe schast'e – little one


	62. Chapter 62 Accusations

**AN: As much as I wish I did, I do not own the Twilight characters; however, the rest of the characters are all mine, including the Queen and her obnoxious son. This one is fairly long, over 9,000 words, so I hope every one enjoys it. I big thanks to my beta readers 'daylighter,' 'graciousplum,' Tiffany, and Tori. You guys just don't know how much I appreciate your help, insights, and comments.**

**Okay everyone, read and enjoy. I do answer questions if you post them. **

* * *

**Journal Entry Forty-Six – Accusations – [June 1959 by Edward Cullen & Carlisle Cullen]**

**[Note: After much discussion, Carlisle and I decided I would finish the next part of the meeting because of what I heard as we sat around the table, and Carlisle will finish what happened after the meeting.]**

**Part 1: by Edward Cullen**

_From the last chapter:_

"_His greatest crime, however, is the ones he has committed against this human child." Zdenko added with a wave of his hand from Taranis to Bella before finishing, "I suggest you stop interfering in the human child's life."_

_To that allegation, the queen replied, "Exactly what are you implying?"_

_Zdenko countered, "I think that is a question you should direct to your son."_

_In a sugary sweet tone laced with undercurrents of venom, she asked, "Taranis, what does the dwarf mean?"_

With a smug look on his face, Taranis replied, "I could care less about that human," but in his mind, I heard so much more. His thoughts confirmed his words about wanting nothing to do with the human even if it meant disposing of her in whatever manner would work for him. He didn't even view her as a person, but as a 'thing.' He had absolutely no desire to have her tied to him for eternity, while I, on the other hand, wanted exactly that – Bella forever.

His thoughts were enough that if Bella hadn't gripped my hand under the table as tightly as she was able, I would have leapt over the table and killed the boy that very moment.

"You deny that you have tried to kill the child on more than one occasion?" Aideen must have seen the hatred in my eyes because her accusation fixed everyone's eyes onto the Prince, and I knew she did that intentionally.

I heard the contempt in his thoughts about his forced acceptance of a dirty-blooded human of his mother's choosing as a bride and the displeasure at his failed attempts to prevent such a union. I'm not sure how Bella knew of my anger, but even as the mermaid spoke, Bella not only squeezed my hand but also began to rub her thumb gently over the top of it. I knew she was trying to soothe my anger, and for whatever reason, it seemed to be working because I was finally able to glance over at her and give her a half smile.

"Explain what the lady means," Jerome commanded, and his voice held all the authority of one who knew he would extract answers in whatever manner it took until he was satisfied.

"I never . . ." the Prince began, but I knew he was lying and was surprised when he stopped short, gripped his head with both his hands, and cried out in pain. I could not feel the pain, but I sensed it in his mind. Someone was mentally projecting pain, and the agony on the boy's face told everyone around the table that it was a consequence for lying.

Jasper, with his ability, must have also felt the pain because I saw the strained look on his face as he tried not to show what he felt, but in his mind, I heard Jasper's shock at the intensity of the pain he felt because of what someone was doing to the boy prince.

"The truth," Markus commanded this time, and from his tone, I knew he was the one who had caused the Prince's pain. I could vaguely hear his thoughts throughout the previous conversations, but while he was inflicting the pain, there were no readable thoughts in his mind, so I could only guess that his ability was the result of some kind of deeper concentration.

Drawing in a deep breath and looking at his mother, Taranis admitted, "I didn't want her mother, and I was not going to allow you to force me into a marriage with a human, especially one as ugly as her," his pejorative comment caused another wave of anger to fuel my already strong desire to kill the boy, but again, Bella squeezed my hand while she continued to rub it with her thumb.

"What did you do?" This time his mother demanded an answer.

"I caused . . . complications," he said casually, but in his mind, I saw more than complications.

"You mean you tried to kill her," Andreas accused.

"Tried seems a little extreme. Besides, no harm came to her." His nonchalant and impenitent response brought about a number of irate responses.

"Not extreme!" Zdenko yelled.

"No harm?" Andreas growled.

"Insolent reprobate." Aideen cried.

"Insufferable!" Esme exclaimed in shock at the young prince's thoughtless and unfeeling comment; her distress was very evident to my mind.

"Death to the worthless scum!" Growled Emmett, and silently, he began planning the slowest most torturous forms of death he could name.

"Emmett," Esme reprimanded under her breath but not with a lot of feeling.

Emmett growled again, as he replied quietly, "That's my little sister he's talking about."

Rose reached out and squeezed Emmett's hand; a sign, I noticed, from her that she understood his anger but that he needed to calm down. I listened as Emmett silently continued to fume about the Fae's disregard for Bella's well-being, but he remained verbally silent this time.

Markus fixed his gaze on Queen Isolda as he asked, "And you allowed your son to act in this manner?"

Plastering an offended look on her face, but silently wondering how she could extract herself and her precious son out of this muddle, she replied, "I did not know of nor did I condone any actions against the child."

I almost smiled at her comment, but not because I found it funny, but because of the tightening of Bella's grip on my hand. Instead of trying to calm my anger, I believe she was trying to calm her own at the others continually referring to her as a child. It had been the third time she had reacted in that manner to that particular term.

"Does anyone have proof of said attempts?" Phillip asked in a soothing tone. His was the first attempt at calming everyone down, which made me look at Jasper, whose scowl told me he would make no attempt to use his ability to deter the hatred I heard in most everyone's mind around the table. Even Carlisle, who usually looked at everything objectively, had no positive thoughts about the Fae prince and his actions.

"I can attest to the first attempt," Andreas announced.

"Then do," Phillip encouraged.

"The child and her parents were traveling on the highway toward the west in this state, and as they neared the Lake Easton State Park, I saw Prince Taranis casting a spell over the car. Right after that, the car left the road and headed into a ditch where it rolled a few times before stopping. As the car settled, I saw the prince remove the child from the back of the car and carry her some distance from the accident where he left her in the snow to freeze because when the emergency people arrived to rescue the parents, they never knew a child had been in the car. I found the child and stayed beside her in my wolf form allowing me to use my body heat to keep her warm. I remained with her until I heard a search team approaching late the next day. Had I not stayed, she would have died of hypothermia."

"Is this true?" Queen Isolda asked her son.

"It's possible," he replied but with no remorse or concern in his voice, but his actions on the particular day he replayed in his mind. He had cast an enchantment and watched with a smile as the car rolled down an embankment. I watched his thoughts as he removed a small child from the car, and even at that young an age, I recognized the child was Bella. He didn't even remain to watch her after depositing her in the forest in the snow. A small growl formed in the back of my throat, but Bella's hand on mine once again soothed the worst of my anger.

"I was witness to the next attempt," Aleksey stated. "It was the rogue bear. I knew there was something unusual about the reported attacks but didn't know how unusual until later I went back to find more information after killing it and meeting Bella. I found out the bear had gone into human camps, tore apart tents, but harmed no one. It wasn't until it caught Bella's scent; the same scent I came across while following it, that it actually began stalking the child in an attempt to attack her. That is not normal for a bear that's gone rogue, but I later found a wood nymph that admitted that she saw Prince Taranis casting a spell on the bear. If I hadn't killed the bear, it would have killed Bella."

"Like you can trust the word of a wood nymph," the prince sneered. Once again, his thoughts replayed his actions at the time. He had once again cast some spell that affected the bear, and he had held an article of clothing to the bear's nose to give it the scent of the one it would stalk. He watched as the bear began sniffing and then trailed off into the woods. He didn't stay to watch what happened, but went off somewhere to be away from the scene of the attack. He had known not to be anywhere around the bear when it finally found the child. I noticed a slight smile playing around the corners of his lips as he remembered his actions.

Such arrogance needed sever punishment, I thought, and I was pleased when a number of minds around the table mirrored my feelings about punishment.

His thoughts and visions, again, caused a growl to grow, but it was Bella's renewed grip and rubbing on my hand that kept the growl from erupting. I feared Bella would require answers after this was all over, and I wondered if I would be able to truthfully answer all the questions I expected her to ask.

Zdenko interrupted my thoughts as he began to speak. "The third attempt was at the state fair, and I did see the prince casting the spell over the bull. By this time, our peoples," Zdenko indicated Andreas and Aideen, "had met and agreed to keep a constant watch on the child to keep her safe from any harm the Fae prince might try to inflict. We were not sure at first if anyone else was helping the prince, but he was the only one seen casting spells or creating other incidents that would harm the child. If I hadn't been present, the child would have died when the bull gored her. The wound was deep, but I reached her in time to heal her before any irreversible damage occurred."

'Bella's mother had been right,' Esme thought as she listened to the dwarf's account. Joanna, I recalled, had told Esme that she thought she had seen the horn go deeper into Bella's small body. Esme too, had images of her accident flashing through her mind as the stories unfolded, but she refrained from verbally commenting; instead, her thoughts focused more on Joanna and the fact that she had been right when she suspected that Joanna had seen things that she probably should not have seen as a normal human.

'Just how are Bella and her mother able to see that which is generally unseen to the human eye?' Esme wondered silently, and then her thoughts turned to the tale of Bella's ancestor, the one the family had claimed was Fae touched.

Aideen brought me away from Esme's thoughts as she began to speak. "The last visible attempt on her life occurred in the bay where my people live," Aideen supplied. "The child was on a boat when the prince caused a heavy piece of equipment to fly up and knock her off the boat. He was already in the water and attempted to drown her. My people had to intercede to pull him away from her, and I brought her to the surface while forcing oxygen into her lungs. Had we not interceded, he would have succeeded in killing her."

Prince Taranis' mind played out this scene as well. Using magic, he had caused a heavy object lying in the boat to fly up, hit Bella, and knock her over the side of the boat. Once she hit the water, he grabbed her, and began dragging her down deeper. Once again, that slight smirk of a smile played around his lips, but quickly vanished as he remembered Aideen's people forcibly pulling him away from Bella. The prince's last sight of the child occurred while the mermen quickly swam him toward the shore and forcibly propelled him from the water. He had made a feeble attempt to re-enter the water, but Aideen's people made it impossible for him to step into the water.

He replayed in his mind one other attempt on her life that no one had actually witnessed. He had tampered with the aim and thoughts of two men who were dressed as hunters, and he helped them take aim while watching something running quickly through the woods. Bella's gunshot accident had not been an accident, and I had wondered how a human hunter's bullet had been able to hit her at the speed I had been running. I knew I wasn't at my full vampire speed because I was carrying Bella, but I should have been out of their range of fire before the bullet ever reached the spot they had aimed at. Now it was clear that the prince had made one more attempt on Bella's life, and I was thankful that my speed helped thwart his plans, but I was not happy that he had been the cause of Bella's injury.

Queen Isolda grew paler as each new story unfolded, and I knew from her thoughts that she had no idea that her son would attempt anything against the girl, but whether she would deliver the punishment he deserved, was questionable even in her own mind.

"May I ask," Markus directed his gaze to the queen, "why you felt you had a claim on this child?"

She looked around at everyone present before stating, "She is a direct descendant of my grandfather. She was the perfect choice for the next queen, but I concede that she is now marked by another who has a right to decide her future."

"And your son?" Jerome asked while watching her intently for any sign of weakness in meting out punishment for the crimes committed by her son.

I could tell from her disturbed thoughts that the queen responded with a heavy heart but knew that she must decree the proper punishment. "He will be banished from my court and will become an outcast from our people for the next three hundred years. I permanently strip him of his right to the throne and declare his younger sister the heir to it. I will also strip him of his magic during his time of banishment. He will not find anyone, upon penalty of death, who will offer him welcome until he has served his time. You also have my promise that none of my people will bother this child ever again." She whispered a spell before hanging her head, gracefully stood up, and glided silently from the room. The door, as she left the house, closed quietly behind her.

I heard all the remorse and regret she felt about the deeds of her son, and I knew, in an instant, that she would fulfill her side of the punishment.

Noticing every eye on him, Taranis stood and haughtily walked out of the room and upon his exit from the house, we all heard the door slam. All his thoughts focused on revenge for the severity, in his mind, of the undeserved punishment, but whom his thoughts of revenge focused on was unclear.

"I would suggest that you keep a close eye on the young lady for the next few months just in case Taranis feels he should avenge himself for his punishment," Andreas said.

"We too will keep our eyes open for any danger from him," Zdenko stated.

"Do all of you feel that Queen Isolda will stand behind her decision?" Phillip asked of the three non-vampires who had given witness against the banished prince.

"Honor is strong among her people. She and her people will uphold her verbal sentence, of that fact I'm sure. What he will do is questionable. His previous actions prove he has little honor, and once all the Fae enforce his banishment, he may feel unjustly wronged by this child." Bella, once again, cringed slightly at the term, but held her tongue. "It is why our people will watch over her until we are sure that he will not harm her again," Andreas reiterated.

"We too will watch, but we do appreciate your assistance as well," Aleksey offered. His non-verbal reactions to everything he learned put him on the same level as me. We both would have been happier to end the boy's life than allow him to walk away.

Carlisle stood up saying, "I wish to thank the three of you for coming tonight and offering testimony against the Fae prince. I know it is hard to speak against someone with the powers he has, but I am grateful that you and your people were willing to protect the newest member of my family. Her value to us is ineffable."

Aleksey stood at Carlisle's last words. "I too thank you all for your watchful protection. Without Bella's influence, my existence would still be one of isolation and regret."

I felt the heat from Bella that indicated a blush rising up through her body. I was hoping no one in the room was hungry because I knew the scent of her blood would increase exponentially as the blush rose. The thoughts of the other vampires in the room warned me as soon as they became aware of the growing strength of her scent.

'Edward, can you make her stop?' Aleksey's thought was strong, so I knew he intentionally projected it toward me. A slight shake of my head was the only response I could offer. 'A pity,' he replied quickly.

I knew that once her blush started, it had to play itself out. The age of the other vampires in the room became evident to me, when I sensed the restraints they placed upon themselves not to respond to Bella's heightening aroma. I did not hear anyone's thoughts indicating that her scent had the same effect on them as it had on me, and for that, I was grateful. I had more time acclimating myself to her scent, and I knew if any of the other three vampires were affected the same way I was, they would have no time to prepare themselves for the overwhelming desire that would assail them.

"We will take our leave, but with the promise of continuing to watch over the child until the time when she is changed by one of you," Andreas said, the others nodding their heads in agreement. The three non-vampires then rose from their chairs, and Carlisle and Aleksey ushered them out of the house offering them their thanks once again before they departed.

When both men returned to the table, Phillip asked, "When do you intend to change the child Aleksey?"

"What?" This question stunned Aleksey. His mind refuted the idea of changing Bella, and in his mind, he saw that as something I would do when the time was right.

"She is your property now," Markus added.

"She is no one's property," Aleksey replied.

I almost spoke up against Markus when he labeled Bella as property. 'Don't do say anything now, Edward,' Carlisle's silent warning stopped me, however.

"You marked her, that makes her yours," Jerome clarified.

I heard the shock in the minds of my siblings, but Carlisle remained calm and silent. He must have known something about this because his eyes warned me to remain silent when I meant to voice my questions.

"I didn't mark her for that purpose," Aleksey explained. "I applied the mark for protection thinking none would attempt to harm her again, but I underestimated the one trying to harm her. I didn't realize how much danger he could really be, but now that he has been punished, I believe she is no longer in danger."

"But your mark remains upon her, so she belongs to you and you must decide her future," Jerome replied. "You know the rules; you were once a Protector and as such, had to become familiar with our rules."

Carlisle was the only one in the family who did not begin to question what Jerome meant. No one else in the family had encountered a Protector before, and since the Protectors remained in the Eastern Hemisphere, we had no knowledge of any rules except the one about keeping our existence hidden from human knowledge. My focus, therefore, turned to Carlisle who only cautioned, 'Say nothing Edward. Allow Aleksey to finish.'

"Yes, I'm very familiar with what rule you mean," Aleksey said, "but my actions were not influenced by the rule but by my desire to protect the child. I knew the instant I bit her that she was different and extremely special. I just didn't understand how special she would become to me."

Markus, who sat next to Aleksey, place a hand on his shoulder. "My dear friend, tell us what she means to you."

Aleksey looked over at me and then at Bella. 'Please hold your anger,' he projected to me before he began to speak. He had to have known that what he would say would upset me at first. "The moment I tasted her blood, I knew she would play a role in my existence that would change everything for me. At the time, I didn't realize that part of what I tasted was the Fae lineage in her, but now that I know her family's heritage, I realize that her blood does have that hint of Fae." Turning to me, he added, "That might explain why her blood calls out to you."

The eyes of the three visitors turned to me in surprise. I heard 'Sängerin Blut' from Markus, and 'le sang de la sirène' from Phillip. It was Jerome's thoughts that said it for all of them thought, 'her blood calls to him like a Siren's call – too strong to resist but he does.'

"How do you resist?" Phillip asked. He knew the call, from his thoughts I heard the surprise and amazement that I resisted. He had experienced this call before, but he quickly shut out his thoughts about the results of his encounter.

"My family helped, in the beginning. They kept her around our house as a friend, and I became accustomed to her scent helping me learn to resist its pull to my desires," I explained.

"No, that alone would not have stopped you," Phillip added. I saw him stalking a young woman and sensed through his memories the same intense magnetism of her blood as I first suffered for Bella's blood. Venom began to fill my mouth as the desires infiltrated my mind, and then, just as quickly as his memories had filled my thoughts, they disappeared. "Something else kept you from killing her," he said, a hint of sadness in his tone, "What stopped you from taking what your senses craved?"

I replayed in my mind our first encounter in physical education. Her blood enticed me the moment she walked into the gymnasium, and once again, I experienced that first wave of extreme thirst and desire as her aroma assailed my senses. It had been hard enough not to take her at that very moment, but Carlisle's disappointed face had instantly appeared in my mind's eye, and then an image of Esme's shame assailed me. That was when I knew I had to wait. Even during the ride in the confined space of my car, I fought the desire to bite into her soft flesh. An internal war played out during that entire trip, and more so as we walked through the wooded park. It would have been so easy to have drained her there and hidden her body. What stopped me was Carlisle's disappointment, Esme's shame, Jasper's disdain over my weakness, Emmett's shock that my seemingly infallible restraint failed, Rose's anger for harming the family, and Alice's warning laced with overwhelming regret. I hadn't realized at the time that the regret Alice had projected was not hers but mine. The regret I would have felt once I learned I had killed the only true love I would ever find.

Only seconds after he asked his question, I replied, "My family." I beamed at each of them. In their own ways, they played a role in protecting Bella without ever realizing it. Then I looked down at the beauty who sat next to me and admitted freely, "And later, my developing realization that I loved Bella."

Jerome asked in his soft encouraging tone, "Explain what you mean by your family." His voice carried a subtle command that I could not resist.

"As I thought about what I wanted from Bella, that first day I met her, visions of my family's reactions once they learned of what I had done assailed my senses and the overwhelming knowledge of how I would disappoint each one of them helped me restrain my personal cravings for her blood. It was not easy, and many times, I almost failed in my resolve not to harm her, but then something else happened that changed everything I felt for her. As I said, my family kept her around as a friend, and her scent began to permeate our house, almost to the point of causing me to move out, but then, I realized I was becoming accustomed to the smell of her blood and learned that it was becoming easier to resist its call. What changed everything was the night my brother threw the two of us together, and because of a game we were playing, I was required to kiss her. The moment our lips met, all desire to drain her blood to satiate my appetite vanished. At that moment, I knew I wanted her to be with me forever. I didn't ever want to lose her." Bella's hand gripped mine even tighter, and as I turned to look at her, I saw two large tears rolling down her face. Without even thinking about what I did, I caught both of them with the finger of my free hand and then licked them off my finger. Their salty yet sweet tangy taste sent shivers of desire surging through my body.

"Thank you," Jerome's voice brought me back to the present, and then he turned to Aleksey and asked, "What do you plan to do with the child?"

I briefly lost track of what he was talking about until Aleksey replied, "She is no longer mine. The moment I learned of her love for Edward, I relinquished her into his care. As I said earlier, I didn't mark her as property but for protection. Bella never took a role in my thoughts as property but as a precious child that I wished I could call my daughter."

I heard a sharp intake of breath come from Bella, and noticed she had more tears rolling down her cheeks.

"How did you relinquish your claim on her?" Markus asked. From his thoughts, he seemed to be seeking some specific action on Aleksey's part.

"It was not anything formal," he turned and looked at Bella and me, "but on the night Bella broke her arm, I realized how much you loved her," I knew his words were directed at me, and Bella just turned and smiled up at me. "That was the moment that I knew I could trust you with her protection. After I left the room, I meant to call Bella's mother, but since it was so late, I had to wait until morning. Clear thinking also caused me to wait until I knew Bella's father was at work. I told Joanna that she would no longer need me to watch over her daughter if something threatened Bella's life. I told her that you, Edward, would be able to do for Bella much more than I could and that you had inclusive care of her." He laughed softly before adding, "Your mother seemed please with the idea, but then asked if that meant she would never hear from me again. I assured her that I would still be around in case I was ever needed."

"So you never formally turned over the child to the Cullen family?" Markus clarified verbally, but silently, he felt that Aleksey had to obey the full measure of the rules.

"I can do that right now," Aleksey replied. "With the three of you as my witnesses, I hereby relinquish my claim on Bella Swan and turn her over to Edward Cullen and his family."

"So noted," Jerome commented and then added to me, "If I understand correctly, you mean to marry the girl as well. Do you know when you will change her?"

"Yes sir, right after she graduates from high school we'll be married, and then I'll change her. I will have her enrolled in college for her parents benefit, and she'll then have time to acclimate herself to her new existence." I explained. "If it were possible to change her sooner, I would, but Carlisle believes it would be better to wait until she is a little older, and for Bella's benefit, it is better for her parents to believe she is attending college rather than her just disappearing before she finishes high school."

Jerome smiled as he nodded his head, and Phillip said, "It seems that this family has a solid plan, and with the girl choosing to become one of us, I see no reason to worry about her revealing our secret. Of course, we too will be watching just in case she should change her mind," he subtly warned.

"I do not foresee her changing her mind," Carlisle interjected with a quick look at Alice, and my family all nodded in agreement with Carlisle.

"Neither do I," Aleksey added.

"We'll still be watching old friend," Markus affirmed.

Bella then spoke up for the first time. "I can assure you that I will never change my mind for all I want is to spend an eternity with Edward as his wife."

"We will take our leave, but as Markus said, we will be watching, and should you need us, and then contact one of us," Jerome said as all three rose from their seats. Carlisle shook hands with all three, and then escorted them to the front door.

"Well that was . . .," Emmett began but Jasper cut him off with a wave of his hand.

No one said anything, and it was silent around the table until Carlisle returned.

**Journal Supplement – Part 2: by Carlisle Cullen**

The departure of the three visitors was both welcomed and sad. I would have invited Jerome to stay and talk for a while but it seemed inhospitable to invite one to stay and not the other two. When I returned to the dining room, seven inquisitive faces turned toward me.

"Is it safe?" Esme was the first to ask.

"Yes," Alice spoke up. "They have headed into the mountains to hunt. They are holding true to their word not to hunt in town."

"Good, I must say that was an interesting meeting," Emmett announced. "If there hadn't been so many here, I would have killed that little maggot myself."

"I doubt you would have been alone in that action," Jasper informed him. "I don't know where Edward found the restraint not to bite his head off."

I saw Edward look toward Bella and smile, but he uttered not a word.

"It was Bella," Rose proclaimed. "She held him back just like I held Emmett back. Neither of us could afford to lose our mates," she informed everyone around the table.

"Bella is incapable of holding him back," Emmett responded, "She can't even hit hard enough to be felt," he laughed.

"Be nice," Rose hit his arm and from his wince, it was easy to tell he felt it. "Bella was able to hold him back the same way I held you back from doing something stupid."

"I think it is safe to say that we learned things this evening that proves Bella is not as unlucky as she thinks, but I agree with Andreas and think we should watch over her closely because Taranis just may seek revenge because of his punishment. We will all need to keep our eyes open, and someone should always be near her. Of course, it is safe to say Edward will remain her night guard," that caused both Emmett and Jasper to laugh, " but there will be times when Edward will have to hunt and one of you," I pointed around the room at my family, "will have to fill in for him."

"I will never allow anyone to harm you," Edward whispered lovingly in Bella's ear, and his nearness caused her to blush.

"I think we can all agree that Bella's safety will be our main task until she is safely changed," Esme intoned.

"And once she is changed, we'll have a wedding to plan," Alice added excitedly causing every one to laugh.

"I think we all need some time to digest what we have learned," I suggested to the family. If not for their benefit to give them all some alone time; I too needed some time to think about everything we learned that evening.

Emmett was the first to rise from the table; he then grabbed Rose's hand and pulled her from the room. Alice and Jasper followed quickly after them.

"Thank you Carlisle," Bella said as she rose.

"For what?" I asked her.

"For being here for me, for standing up for me, and for being willing to protect me from something I never knew existed."

I stood up and walked over to her, took both her hands in mine, and said, "Bella, it is I who should thank you. You were able to do something tonight that I never thought anyone would be able to achieve." She gave me a questioning look. "Before you, Edward had a volatile temper. If it hadn't been for you holding on to him, he, as Emmett put it, would have bitten off the young prince's head." I smiled at her thankfully.

Bella looked down as she said, "I don't feel like I did that, but I know when Edward is becoming upset, so I take his hand hoping that I can give him some of my calm so he'll not become upset."

Edward laughed at her words and added, "Is that how you do it?" Then he looked at me before adding, "I just know that I feel more relaxed when she takes and squeezes my hand, and for some reason, knowing she is beside me stops me from doing anything that might endanger her." Then he took both of her hands from me saying, "Come Bella, I think we should leave Carlisle and Aleksey to talk."

His words made Bella laugh lightly as he gently pulled her from her chair. Before she walked out of the room holding Edward's arm, she turned saying, "Goodnight Uncle Peter. I hope I get to see more of you now that you are staying in the area." Bella may have been smiling as she spoke, but Edward's face was blank of all emotion, indicating to me that he still was not pleased with Aleksey being so near.

Aleksey kissed Bella's cheek before saying, "Maybe one day you can begin calling me Uncle Aleksey." Then he chuckled softly as Edward led Bella upstairs.

Aleksey didn't wait for Edward to reach his room knowing that anywhere in the house would not be out of hearing distance for any vampire. "He still doesn't trust me, does he?"

"He's just . . ." I was going to make an excuse for his behavior but realized it was better to be upfront and truthful. "No, he doesn't, but give him time. Maybe with you around more he'll begin to realize that you are not interested in Bella as anything more than a friend."

"Well, I have to admit I view her as more than a friend. When she was younger, I began to think of her as my daughter. I think I was allowing her to fill in a place of loss for me. I didn't remember my wife and child for a long time, but then bits and pieces of that memory came back. When I met Bella, she reminded me of the child I lost, and even though she was not a boy, I believe I allowed her to replace my son in my memories. I couldn't be happier that she has found someone she loves, and I don't even mind that she wants to become one of us. Before meeting Bella, I had reservations about changing anyone. Part of that tied into the drinking of human blood and part was a result of Elisha. I don't believe Bella will ever turn out like Elisha, and now that I know we can live off animal blood, I don't see this existence as such an undesirable life."

I laughed at his comments, and realized he was doing the same thing with Bella that Emmett had done. They had both allowed her to fill an empty place in their hearts, and once Edward accepted the fact that Aleksey saw her only as a daughter, he would be able to resolve having Aleksey as part of Bella's life.

"I'm meeting with Markus in two days. He is going to let me know what Jerome and Phillip have decided to tell the Protectors," he informed me.

"Jerome and I will also be meeting to discuss the same thing in two days. Maybe we can meet on Tuesday to share information," I offered.

"I think that would be a good idea, and until then, I too will be watching to see if the prince is still in the area."

I walked him to the door and bid him goodnight before retiring to my den to mull over everything I had learned that night, and I set up a schedule of who would watch over Bella during the day and whenever Edward had to leave to hunt. The easiest schedule was to have Alice watch her on nights Edward would be gone, and then have Bella over at our house as much as possible.

Sunday was quiet, and I ended up working at the hospital for a colleague who called in sick, and Monday was my day to work anyway so I did not see much of my family. Jerome and I had agreed to meet somewhere neutral and away from humans, so I picked a wooded spot ten miles from our home.

I went a little early so I could hunt before he arrived. I always made sure my family hunted on a regular basis, but sometimes I did not hold myself to the same rules. Even after hunting, I still arrived early at the meeting point. It did give me time to think about what Bella had faced, and how, even though her accidents were not true bad luck, it was still an unlucky fact that the Fae Queen had chosen her as a bride for her son. I could not read the prince's mind like Edward, but just from observing him, I knew he would not make a good husband for any female, and his lack of remorse for trying to kill a human proved he really was not fit to be a king. If he had that much disregard for a human, how would he treat his own people? I could only hope his younger sister would make a better ruler than he would.

"Carlisle, my friend," Jerome greeted as he entered the small clearing that I had chosen as our meeting place. He sat down beside me on a fallen log that I chose as a seat. "I was pleased to see you again; I just wish it had been under better circumstances."

"As would I, but at least we can sit and talk for a while," I added.

"Yes, that will be good."

"How long have you been in the United States?" I had not heard of his presence in this country before making a few telephone inquiries last week.

"I have been here since the turn of the year. The council asked me to come over to recruit some young ones to start a Protectors group in this hemisphere. More and more of our kind and theirs," and I knew he meant the others who were at the meeting on Saturday night, "are living on this side of the world. The older ones, ones who no longer serve as Protectors due to their age, felt it was time to expand our protection areas. I guess this incident with your youngest daughter-to-be is support of why humans over here need protection."

"I'm not going to argue that point, especially since she had been in danger for more years than I would have thought possible."

Jerome shook his head, "This would never have happened in the old country. Punishments are much harsher, and had we found the young prince guilty of attempting to kill a human back home, the council of Protectors would have sentenced him to death. Banishment is too easy on him."

"We will just keep a constant watch on her. I cannot afford to lose her, she is the only person my son has ever cared for, and I will not allow him to suffer the agony of losing her."

"She is special Carlisle, and I'm not sure you realize just how special she is," Jerome said.

Jerome was one of the very few vampires who could tell what a human's potential might be once her or she was changed, but I hadn't been thinking along those lines when he made his comment. "Bella is very unique. I never met any human that would accept our kind without any questions or qualms, and for Edward, she is his soul mate, and that makes her truly important to my family."

"That is important as well, but it is not what I meant. When she is changed, she will be even more unique," and then I understood what he meant.

"What kind of ability will she have?" Curiosity is not just for the young, even with all my years of experience, I found that curiosity was still within me.

"Specifically, I don't know, but it will have to do with her mind. Her mind is truly unique. At first, I thought she was just blocking me out, but it is more than that. I can't read minds like your son Edward, manipulate emotions like young Jasper, or tell the future like your charming daughter Alice. I also can't block people out of my mind or emotions like your friend Aleksey, but I can reach into people and discover their abilities. Bella, however, seems to be the exception, and I tried every way I know of getting around whatever within her is blocking my ability, but I was unable to discover anything except that her ability will have something to do with her mind."

I could not stop the smile that spread across my face. "I always knew she was special, now I have been proven correct."

"I will be interested in visiting you once she has been changed. I too am curious as to what abilities she will possess, and I do mean that in the plural. As to this other situation, we will remain in the area for a while to monitor Taranis' movements, and I suspect the werewolf and dwarf will remain in the area as well."

Jerome never showed emotions often, but he did smile whenever he spoke of Bella, which showed his deep interest in her, but I knew the same curiosity perked his interest as mine about what changes she would undergo after her change.

"Carlisle, I am not going to ask any of your family to join the Protectors group at the moment. I had meant to ask for your help training them, but Aleksey has already agreed and we do have three other vampires who will take part in training the new recruits we find. I think you will be busy with Edward's young lady until after her change. You might be interested to know that the werewolf and the dwarf have already agreed to become a part of the new group, and they each have a friend or two who will also volunteer. Our time here has not been wasted, and as soon as we feel that Taranis is less of a threat, we will gather our newest Protectors and help begin their training."

"Where will this training take place, if I'm allowed to ask?" I had to admit my curiosity and concern. We still wanted to remain in the Tacoma area, and I hoped that would not be a problem.

"We actually have three locations for training. The western hemisphere is large, so it has been decided to train two groups in Northern America and one down near the northern border of Central America." Jerome reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder, "Do not worry, my friend, none of them will be training near your home. I admire the fact that you and your family are able to stay in one place for a number of years. I have monitored you over the years, and have finally settled down myself to some degree."

He now had my complete attention. I had always seen Jerome as the perpetual wanderer, never willing to stop and rest in anyone place for more than a night.

Jerome laughed, a rarity for him, as he said, "I see your surprise, my friend. Maybe even vampires feel their age after a time. It has been nearly one thousand years since I was changed, and I readily admit that I finally had a desire to find a home for myself. Of course, like you, I will only be able to live there for a certain number of years before the neighbors around me begin to ask questions, but I am already searching out other homes to purchase as well."

"So you did take my advice and begin setting money aside for future use." I remembered our conversation in detail about finding a way to save up for the future, to which he had laughed, because his future, he commented at the time, would go on forever.

"Yes, your words did finally make sense, but I imagine if I had a young daughter like Alice, I could make even more money to put into my Swiss bank account. The Swiss are ingenious when it comes to banking."

"So I have discovered over the years," I chuckled in response.

"Well, I wish I could remain for a longer visit, but I must return. Markus and Phillip will be expecting me, and we have an ex-prince to observe." He stood up and shook my hand before adding, "We will contact you immediately if we suspect him of anything that might concern young Bella," and then he rushed off into the woods.

Aleksey stopped by early the next morning to share what Markus had told him, but it did not differ from what I learned from Jerome. I did congratulate Aleksey on his position as a trainer, and he just laughed and said it would fill in his abundance of free time. I suspected he had less free time than he was willing to discuss, but I would not push him knowing he would talk to me about his plans when he was ready.

**Journal Entry Forty-Six – Part 3: by Edward Cullen**

The aftermath of the meeting on that evening was something most of the family knew about but only because no matter how quietly Bella spoke, everyone in the house could hear her.

During the meeting, I was amazed at how calm Bella appeared. She seemed to take it all in without showing any outward signs of being angry or upset. She even spent time keeping me calm when I would have preferred killing the prince, but having Bella's gentle touch soothing me and knowing I didn't want to create a scene of carnage in front of her stopped me from acting imprudent. I never had an anchor in my existence before that helped control my temper. Had Bella not been there, the night would indisputably have ended differently and not in anyway beneficial for my family.

After I took Bella upstairs to our room, I thought we could spend the rest of the evening enjoying each other's company, but the moment I closed the door, Bella broke down. It began with silent tears cascading down her pale cheeks, and by the time she reached the bed and laid down, her sobs shook her slight frame. At first, I stood rooted in place void of all thought, but then I moved swiftly to her side, scooped her into my lap, and wrapped my arms around her.

"Bella love, I know it was hard to hear what the prince . . ."

"No, Edward," she sobbed, "I don't care about that. It's what he could've done to you that scared me."

Her statement stunned me. A mythical being had attempted to kill her multiple times, and she focused her concerned on me. 'What he could have done to me?' confused me extremely.

"Bella, he can't hurt me."

"But he would have," she sobbed in response to my attempted assurance.

"No Bella, he couldn't," she had to understand he physically could not have hurt me even if he tried.

She had been crying and speaking into my chest while I held her in my lap, but she pulled away in order to look me in the face. She ran a hand down the side of my face; it was a gentle loving caress.

"Edward, had he succeeded and I died, you would have remained alone. You would never have found true love. It would have been tragic."

I could not stop the smile that crossed my lips at her concern for my well-being without giving a thought for her own loss of life. "Bella, I could say the same about you, but you are thinking only of me and not of the life you would have lost. Do you realize that if I had never met you, I would not have realized what I would have missed?"

Through her tears, she replied. "Maybe not, but you would have spent eternity never knowing about true love, never being allowed to have that experience. To me, that would have been a tragedy."

"I could say the same for you. Had you died, you would never have known true love either," I wanted to make her understand that she would have lost just as much as I would.

"It would not be the same. If I had died, I would never have known anything, but you would have still existed and suffered loneliness and a loss you would never have known how to fill. It would have been just like before you met me, and Alice always told me how alone you were, and how you never tried to fill the empty space within yourself." Her tears flowed more freely as she spoke. I saw sorrow in her eyes as well, but I knew the sorrow she felt was for me and not for her.

"Do you not care that he tried to kill you?" I asked wondering how she felt about that knowledge.

"But he didn't succeed, so that doesn't really mean much to me," her tears finally began to slow, and she continued. "I feel honored that so many people . . . can I call them that?" She didn't pause for an answer, "So many beings have watched over me all these years, and whether they realize it or not, they have kept me safe for you."

"Maybe I should have thanked them because now that I know what it would be like without you, I'm more than grateful that I have you here at this very moment, and I have no intention of ever losing you." I gently brushed a stray piece of hair off her face, and then began to wipe her tears.

"Please understand Edward. I know how you would have felt if I had been lost to you because that is how I have felt my entire life. I know my parents love me, just as Carlisle and Esme love you, but there was still emptiness inside, a longing for something I didn't understand. I remained ignorant of what was missing until that first day in gym when I saw you, and then I instantly knew what was missing. You were missing; you were the part that would make me feel complete. I felt broken and you allowed me to be unbroken." She paused and gazed deeply into my eyes.

I saw every positive emotion bubbling up from the depth of her eyes: love, joy, happiness, completeness, fulfillment, passion, lust . ... The last two caused me to bring my hands up and cup her face between them before I placed my lips on hers. I only meant to kiss her gently and briefly, but something electrifying happened between us, and the next thing I knew we were both laying on the bed with our arms wrapped around each other. My hands were traveling up and down her back, while she entwined her hands in my hair. If I had never felt like a teenage boy before, I did at that very moment with every bit of hormonal lust that I mentally berated human boys for feeling when they looked at a pretty girl. I suddenly desired to do more than just kiss her, and I was fortunate for at that very moment Alice knocked on the door and said, "We're coming in," which Jasper and she did giving Bella and I only a moment to break apart and sit up.

"I hope we were interrupting something you would both have regretted," Alice said as she sat down on the bed next to us.

Jasper laughed softly, and then said, "Bella, you have too many emotions for me to process. Could you please slow them down?"

Bella blushed at his comment, and then both Bella and I broke apart and sat up on the bed.

"You really shouldn't feel guilty about what you think Edward would have lost." Jasper continued. "You should feel thankful about being able to provide him with what both of you have needed, and what you will be able to continue to give each other."

Bella gave him a confused look, before saying, "Stop influencing my emotions."

I glared at him, "I think she already had that emotion when your wife rudely interrupted us," I added knowing he had been sharing a lustful emotion with her.

"You really would have regretted it," Alice commented. "Both of you would have regretted it. It really is something you should save for the wedding night, and you will both thank me later on for having stopped it before it went too far."

"I'll take your word for that, Alice," I replied as I smiled at Bella causing her to blush a beautiful deep red.

Alice and Jasper spend the rest of the evening in the room talking, and Bella didn't fall asleep until nearly dawn, but talking was something Bella and I both needed to keep our minds off what might have happened if Alice hadn't known to interrupt us.


	63. Chapter 63 Unexpected Disclosure

**AN: I don't own **_**Twilight**_** or any of the original **_**Twilight**_** characters, but the story line, plot, and other characters I have rights to.**

**Sorry this has taken awhile to post, but I'm in the middle of summer vacation, enjoying some relaxing time, and next week I actually go on vacation. I will try to get two more chapters out this summer, and I should be getting close to the end of this episode in Bella's story.**

* * *

**Journal Supplement – Unexpected Disclosure [July 4, 1959 by Mrs. Rose Hale McCarthy Cullen]**

The last weeks of June were intense for the family and Bella. The constant supervision finally pushed Bella over the edge, and she asked Alice to take her shopping. My surprise could not be surpassed; here was a single individual who saw shopping as four or five hours spent in a bookstore perusing different volumes of tomes that interested her, and she was actually asking Alice to take her out on a shopping trip. That was when I knew that Bella had cracked under the pressure of non-stop observation. Alice, as expected, was ecstatic about the request, and of course, Edward insisted on accompanying them.

By the time they arrived home from shopping, Alice had purchased Bella an entire wardrobe, which Bella declared would remain housed in Edward's closet. I was guessing this would save her from having to bring any clothing from home whenever she spent the night, or the weekend, or even the entire week.

In conjunction with the stress of around-the-clock supervision, Esme and Carlisle came up with a plan that they hoped would relieve some of the tension and allow them to become better acquainted with Bella's father. With the 4th of July nearing, they decided to invite Bella and her parents over for a cookout. Emmett was thrilled by the idea and immediately rushed out to purchase a BBQ grill, and then decided he would grill steaks. Esme issued the invitation, which Bella's mother Joanna readily accepted, and then planned the rest of the meal and every entertainment necessary to make it a good day. She did seek help from Bella as to what her parents enjoyed, and then Esme mustered up volunteers to help with arranging everything for that day.

Our house filled with a flurry of activity preparing for the gathering of our two families. Much to my amusement, Bella patiently taught Emmett how to use his new toy – the BBQ grill – including grilling her some hot dogs and hamburgers the week before the big gathering. Hot dogs – the mental images that those two words brought to mind always revolted me; I would never even consider drinking the blood of a dog, much less eat one; although, Bella did assure us all that hot dogs contained absolutely no dog meat in them. Still, why would anyone christen them with such a name?

Bella was happy that the 4th of July was warm, and Emmett was grateful it didn't rain because he wanted to show off his culinary skills on the grill, but I ended up burying myself in the garage so I was not with the family when Bella showed up with her parents.

I had planned on spending my day alone in the garage, so I was surprised when I heard the garage door open and someone enter uninvited. From the heartbeat, I instantly knew the person was human, and from the scent, I knew it wasn't Bella.

"Hello," a male voice greeted me, indicating it could only be Bella's father.

I was underneath the car when he walked in, so I only saw his shoes. Sensible, was my first reaction to his shoes, and because I didn't think he would leave anytime soon, I pushed my way out from the underside of Edward's car. I sat up, but didn't get up to shake his hand or anything. "Hello," was the only greeting I gave him.

"Your mother said you were out here, and I was surprised when your brother said you were working on the cars," he said, but his tone didn't have that sarcastic edge that many males had when they learned that I might be working on a car.

"Yes, I'm the family's official mechanic," I informed him.

He squatted down by me as he asked, "How did a beautiful girl like you ever become interested in mechanics?"

I was impressed that he referred to it as mechanics and not tinkering with engines. I was even more impressed that he didn't say something about girls not having the ability to learn mechanics or how to tune-up or fix a car.

"I'm Rose, by the way, and you must be Mr. Swan," I stated as a roundabout way of introducing ourselves, and without waiting for his reply, I said, "I became interested in cars the first time my father took my brother's car to a mechanic and it came back making a worse noise then when he took it in. I decided that it couldn't be that hard to find out what was wrong and fix it, so I started examining everything under the hood of my brother's car and compared it to what was under the hood of Carlisle's car." I realized instantly that I didn't say father, but then I never called him father, so why do it for a stranger.

"Very smart move. I have taught mechanics to young men in the military who would never have thought of that, but it is a wise first move when no manual exists to show you what might be wrong or what to look for." He reach out his hand, "May I help you up?"

I didn't know if he meant to escort me into the house or what, but out of curiosity, I took his hand and let him help me. He then motioned to a bench on the south side of the garage wall and asked, "Would you like to have a seat?"

I smiled as I sat down and asked, "So you know something about mechanics?" Bella never mentioned that fact about her father. She only told us he was a recruiter for the military.

"Yes, when I first joined up, I had some knowledge about engines, and it was decided after I was injured that I could best serve my time in the motor pool. I had a great teacher, and I learned quickly. I spent time learning more than I ever thought was possible, and after a few years, I became the teacher, and then I taught the men under me what I knew."

"So why did you stop teaching?" I loved what I did and wouldn't have wanted to give my job over to anyone else in the family.

"As much as I enjoyed working around engines and teaching what I knew, I wanted more contact with those coming into the military. When a position for recruiting was offered to me, I accepted it and never regretted the change."

The enthusiasm in his voice told me he meant everything he said. As much as I thought I didn't want to meet Bella's parents, I was slowly becoming impressed with her father.

"So, what exactly are you doing to your brother's car?" He asked taking the focus of our talk off him and back on to me.

"I'm just doing a basic tune-up at this time. He needs the oil changed, and then I'll change out the points and plugs, and oil filter. Edward does take good care of his car. Emmett, on the other hand, can be harder on his vehicles. Right now, his newest toy is his motorcycle and I'm still learning how to take care of the maintenance on that." Emmett loved his motorcycle, but it was something new for me to learn about. I loved the challenge of learning about a new type of vehicle, but sometimes it became time consuming.

"Can I look at it?" He asked with a genuine smile. He was not placating me or treating me as a pretty face without a brain, which caused me to grudgingly like him a little.

"Of course; he left it parked in the back of the garage, and he definitely won't need it today. His newest toy is in the back yard," I commented with a smile, and he looked at me questioningly. "Emmett just bought a new BBQ grill." I wanted to say he had been practicing with it all week, but I thought that might seem odd to a human who didn't know we didn't eat regular food; therefore, we didn't need to cook.

"Lead the way," he said motioning me to go before him.

During the next hour, he taught me as much as he could about the motorcycle's engine. He kept asking if I would remember everything almost causing me to laugh, but I refrained knowing I could not tell him that I would never forget what he told me. How could I explain my perfect memory to a human who could not know what we really were?

Our time together helped to make it easier for me to talk to him about his daughter. He wasn't the ogre I expected, but he still was overly protective of his daughter, and I wanted to learn his side of the story.

"So, you don't seem to approve of my brother dating your daughter." I wanted to come to the point as quickly as possible.

"I don't think I would approve of anyone she dated. Fathers, so I've had friends inform me, don't like to admit that their little girl is are growing up, but it is not just that. It's Bella's tendency to come home injured in some way," he admitted. At least he was willing to share his feelings with me.

"You cannot always blame Edward for that. I've seen some of her injuries, and she seems to, well, 'cause' is too strong a word, but maybe I could say she seems to find ways to unintentionally get hurt."

"In other words, you're saying she is accident prone," he replied with the seriousness only a father, I thought, could show.

"For a better choice of words, yes, but I don't think she is as unlucky as she or you believe she is. I think bad things just seem to find her, and some times, she just has accidents. These are things no one can stop. That is why they are called 'accidents'." I wanted him to consider seriously what I was saying, but from his look, he was skeptical. "Look, Mr. Swan . . ."

He interrupted me by saying, "Please, call me Richard."

Instead of arguing the informality of such an option, I said, "Fine. Richard you need to stop mollycoddling that child."

"What, do you expect me to start treating her the same way your brother does?" He asked sarcastically.

"Oh please, between the two of you, you are both smothering her in over-protectiveness. What's going to happen is she is going to run off and leave both of you, and then she's going to find someone like Peter – that friend of hers from when she was a child," I told him honestly.

"He's too old for her," he snapped.

"Mr. Swan," he was about to correct me but I quickly corrected myself, "Richard, he is probably only eighteen years older, and many women have married older men because they are more stable. Besides, from what I saw over Christmas, he at least treats her as an adult," I didn't add that he called her 'little one,' because I wanted to make a point, "and he doesn't try to wrap her in cotton and stop life from happening to her. It is her life, and yes, bad things seem to happen to her more often than to others, but neither one of you are being kind to her by trying to run her life or stop her from living."

I could not tell him the truth about some of those bad things I had just learned about a few weeks ago. If I did, it would mean revealing my family's secret, and Richard did not strike me as the kind of man who would accept what I told him anyway. It was best that he just believe that Bella had bad things happening to her in life without telling him that a Fae Prince had been behind making some of those bad events happen.

Instead I said, "Life happens, bad things happen, but then so do good things, and you just have to allow it to happen without the overreaction. All she really needs are people around her who love her despite her accidents." I could see he wasn't really agreeing with me; he was a stubborn man that needed to see the truth, but first someone had to lead him to the truth, and even though I didn't like Bella that much, I didn't want to see him ruin her life either. The same was true for Edward; if he wasn't careful, I knew he too would push her away from him eventually, just as her father was doing; although, I did have to admit that Edward was at least trying. Still, men could be so thickheaded at times, and these two were more alike than either of them cared to admit.

"Let me tell you a story Rose. In my family, one of the offspring always inherits a streak of bad luck. It just so happened that in one branch it was the younger of two brothers. Now the older brother was told it would be his job to watch out for his younger brother, but that was not easy for the boy was constantly attracting bad luck. When he was two, he fell out a tree and broke his arm."

I wanted to stop him and say that happened to a lot of children, but I felt interrupting at this point might stop the story, so I remained quiet and attentive.

As he continued, so did the work on the motorcycle. "When the boy was four, he nearly drowned." It sounded somewhat like Bella, but now the family and I knew that her drowning was not an accident. "When he was six, a dog attacked him and he was seriously injured. Now, his older brother tried to keep him protected, but he seemed to fail every time and it made the older boy mad. He had decided his younger brother was having accidents on purpose just so his brother would be in trouble with their father. One cold winter day, when the younger boy was eight, the two went ice skating in the park near their home. The pond had been declared safe by the adults, and all the neighborhood children were out enjoying the day skating, throwing snowballs, and making snowmen. The older brother decided to play with some friends while the younger brother was skating. Feeling nothing could go wrong, the older brother did not even check up on his brother until it was time to go home, but when he began looking for him, the boy was nowhere to be seen. He figured his brother had gotten cold and went home, so he too went home only to be confronted by his father about his brother's whereabouts. What else could the boy say but that he looked for his brother, couldn't find him, and thought he had gone home? The father threw on his boots and coat, called on a few neighbors, and they all went in search of the boy. When they reached the pond, they found a fresh hole in a weakened spot in the ice, and knew the boy had to have fallen in since, after an extensive search, they found him nowhere else. Being the middle of winter, the town could not search the pond until the spring thaw, and as soon as the ice began to break, they dredged the pond and found the boy's body. The father blamed the older son for the younger one's death, and reminded him everyday how he had allowed his brother to die by not watching out for him and protecting him. The boy lived with that guilt all his life, and when he finally had a child, he promised himself he would never, for a moment, allow anything to happen to his child."

I didn't even have to ask him who the boy was; it had been evident in the tightness of his voice that he had been the older brother, and who was I to tell him that his father had been wrong to throw all the blame on him for his brother's death.

"So you see, Rose, I'm very cautious of Bella because I never want to see any harm come to her, but just like those two boys, I can't watch her every moment, and she does seem to attract bad luck."

I decided it was time to tell him about another older brother who wanted to watch out for and protect his young sister, just so he would know that Bella had more protectors than she really needed, but at least this older brother didn't smother Bella in the process of protecting her.

"Richard, besides Edward and you, Emmett also loves Bella." I saw the shock on his face as I admitted that and quickly added, "She reminds him of a younger sister that he lost, and he has taken her under his care as a replacement sister. He is just as protective as either Edward or you, but he does not smother her with his protection. Instead, he allows her to have fun and do the things she has always wanted to do while still carefully watching out for her."

"Explain that," he commanded. He gave off the authoritative tone he probably showed to his trainees when he was a military teacher, but instead of allowing that to upset me – I didn't take orders well – I decided to ignore it.

"Look, it was Emmett who gave Bella the ski trip as a Christmas present," I was not about to admit that he lost a bet to Bella. If her father was still upset about the trip, he might be more upset to learn that Bella had won the trip while gambling with Emmett. I hastily added, "It was Bella's desire to learn how to ski that prompted the trip," because I saw he was about to become upset about that information. "During the entire time on the slopes, Emmett watched over her so she wouldn't be hurt while skiing, but he didn't stop her from skiing. Slipping in the shower on a bar of soap was unfortunate but not something anyone could have foreseen." I was not about to admit that Alice could and did foresee it but too late to stop it because it was not something he needed to know. "What I'm trying to point out is that Emmett, while protecting her, still allows her to live her life. He does not restrain her from doing what she enjoys, learning new things, or being out in the world. Instead, he goes along with her and watches over her. Both Edward and you need to be more like Emmett. Protection without smothering, otherwise, you could both lose her. Maybe that is what the older brother was trying to do. Allowing his younger brother to have fun, and maybe," I saw a frown crossing his face, "just maybe, he should have asked his brother to join him with his friends, but that is in the past, and that older brother needs to learn to forgive himself for an accident that was not his fault."

"That's a lot to take in, and I believe you are telling me this for a reason. I, however, have to do what I think is best for my daughter," he bluntly stated.

Before he could add more, I asked, "And just how is that working out?"

"Meaning what, pray tell?" He seemed taken back at my question.

"I mean, as a result of how you treat her, how is your relationship with her working out?" It was time he began to see just how far he was pushing her away because of his actions. "Does she talk to you about her concerns, about her hopes, about her future?" I asked.

He gave me a blank stare telling me he either didn't understand or had no answer for my question, so I pushed forward.

"Does Bella ever open up to you about anything in her life?"

"No," he finally said after a long pause that I waited out.

"Why do you think that is?" It was time for some hard questions and some honest answers.

"I'm not always around. She talks to her mother instead."

I could tell he was making excuses. "Richard, both of you would find time to talk if you had a close relationship. Bella would openly come to you if she thought you would listen without censuring her. From what I can tell, she is afraid to tell you about her life because she knows you will prohibit any activity that you consider dangerous." My next question I knew would be hard for him to answer truthfully. "Richard, does Bella trust you?"

"Of course she does," he replied quickly.

"Then why isn't she honest with you? Why was she afraid to tell you she had a boyfriend? Why is she afraid to ask you to do things with her? Why does she hide some of her minor injuries from you?"

"What injuries?" He snapped defensively.

"How about the bruise she received the last week of school when she was hit by a baseball. I saw the bruise on her shoulder when Alice applied ice to it to take down the swelling. She made sure she wore only blouses with sleeves so you wouldn't see the bruise. It was a simple accident while playing baseball during physical education, but she was afraid that you would blow it all out of proportion if you saw it. Did she tell you about it at all?" I asked.

"No," he looked down at the floor and put his hands together in a tight grip. Some people considered that a 'wringing' of one's hands. I never understood the purpose of it myself.

"This is what I'm talking about. She is afraid of being honest; maybe she is even afraid of you." That, I decided, would really give him something to think about. Knowing he lost a brother and felt guilty about it didn't influence me to pamper him; instead, he needed some hard fact so he wouldn't lose his daughter, maybe not the same way he lost his brother, but it would still be a permanent loss because Bella would choose to sever her relationship with him when the time came.

He looked up at me with a dazed expression. "Afraid of me?" He asked.

"Yes, afraid of you yelling at her, telling her how careless she is, how she needs to be more careful, and maybe even telling her she is not allowed to play baseball anymore. Overprotective, that's what it's called." I told him honestly.

"I never thought of it that way. Maybe I am too hard on her. Maybe I need to let up a little." He finally admitted with a tentative waver to his voice.

"Maybe," I affirmed. "Maybe you should also tell her the story of the two brothers so she understands why you chose to be so cautious and protective of her."

"I'll try to let up a little, but I don't know if I can ever share that story with her," he finally said.

Why he felt he could share it with me and not his daughter was a question I never asked.

"Rose, have you seen . . ." Bella began as she walked into the garage. "Oh, we were just looking for you," she looked straight at her father as she spoke. "Emmett says lunch is ready." Bella gave me a quizzical look before her father and I both got up and walked toward her.

I had no intention of being late for Emmett's big moment as chef. He was like a kid with a new toy – heck, he was a kid with a new toy, but one that created something I would not share in because I would not eat a single piece of food put on my plate even though Emmett cook it with his own hands. The others might take a bit or two only to regurgitate it later, but that was undignified in my book. I would not do that even for Emmett.

The rest of the afternoon flowed fairly smoothly. Carlisle had purchased a croquet set and Emmett had laid out the course of play in the backyard. Jasper had made sure the wire wickets were spaced for human strength and not vampire strength. Emmett teased Bella the entire time making fun of her lack of strength and aim, and also ribbed her about her lack of overall athletic skills; all the while, he had to hold back his real strength and ability because of Bella's parents. I noticed that Bella's father closely watched the interaction between Bella and Emmett, and he noted how often Bella laughed. He also watched Edward as he helped Bella take aim and then give her pointers on how to hit the ball.

Just before Bella and her parents left, Richard pulled me aside and said, "Thank you. Maybe you were right about Bella. Emmett does watch out for her but he also makes her laugh more than I have seen in a long time. I will consider your suggestions very carefully."

As they were all getting in the car, Bella looked over at me with a puzzled expression. I knew she would ask me about what her father said, but at the time, I wasn't sure if I would share with her the conversation I had with him in the garage.

Two weeks later, Bella's father came over to the house early one Saturday morning and invited me down to the recruiting station he worked at. I thought it would only be a small office space, but it turned out to be a large building where he did his recruiting as well as a warehouse where military vehicles were stored for repair. There were four other young men in uniform working on the vehicles when we arrived, and he invited me to join them in overhauling an engine. He even supplied me with a pair of coveralls to keep my clothes clean. I discovered later that it was his way of discerning what I knew about motors, and in the process, he shared with me some valuable knowledge that I put into practice later on as I repaired the family's vehicles. As much as Richard protected Bella, he was willing to let me try something that I knew he would never allow Bella to do around any type of vehicle.

The final result of the time I spent with Bella's father was that fall, when I enrolled in my final year of high school, I was allowed to take a mechanical engines class. Richard had talked to the principal as well as the shop teacher, and convinced both of them to at least allow me to attend the first week of class. Richard told the shop teacher that if he didn't think I could handle the work in the class, then he – the shop teacher – was free to request my transfer to another class. It would be the first high school year that I would really enjoy, and I had a human to thank for that fact.

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**Note: I have a one-shot story nominated for an award. I would appreciate your vote on it. The story is **_**Trepidation**_**, and voting begins on June 22nd. Go to h t t p : / / thesingleshotawards . blogspot . com/ (delete the spaces) to cast your vote. Thank you for your vote.**

**MidnightWalking, Emmett, and Rose**


	64. Chapter 64 Summer's End

**AN: My apologies to everyone for the delay in this story, but know this - I am going to finish this story, and if everything goes well, I hope to finish this before the year is out. I currently have the next seven chapters roughly written, they just need proofing, beta editing, and my final editing before I can post them. I am also writing the 8th chapters, and after that there will be only one or two more chapters and then I will be mostly finished with this story. I thank everyone who has been a loyal reader, and especially those who have been loyal reviewers. I love your reviews, your comments, and your suggestions, a few of which I have used. With that said, I add my disclaimer that I do not directly own the Cullen family or Bella, and now here is the next chapter.**

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**Journal Entry Forty-Seven – Summer's End [July to August, 1959]**

Two weeks into July, Bella began to ask questions about the others that had played savior roles in her life. She understood about the werewolf and dwarf; although, it still surprised her that such beings existed, but her greatest curiosity revolved around the mermaid that not only saved her life but also walked into the house on two legs. I could not answer her question about how that was possible, so we took the question to Carlisle.

Even though Carlisle withheld a wealth of information from the family about the existence of other mythical beings, none of us had known before then that he had done so. We all decided it didn't matter because up until that point it was not information that we needed. I figured, however, with what he knew he could answer Bella's question. Besides, she was not the only one looking for a few answers.

We easily found him in his study reading a book on hematology. I raised one eyebrow as I read the cover.

He just nodded as he silently responded to my unvoiced query, 'Because of Bella; I'm wondering if her blood does have traces of Fae blood after all these generations.'

"Carlisle, tell me how the mermaid was able to walk around," Bella addressed him as soon as she stepped foot into his study.

Carlisle responded with a chuckle. "I wondered when you would come to me with your questions, and fortunately, I have answers." He motioned toward the sofa in the room. "Please have a seat, and I will gladly answer all your questions."

Bella walked over and sat down as she said, "Good, because I have about half a million running through my head." I sat down beside her as she spoke and draped my arm around her shoulder.

"Hyperbole, Bella?" He questioned with another deep chuckle.

"Okay, so maybe I don't have that many questions, but I'll be happy to have the one about the mermaid answered," she replied with a smile.

"It's rather simple," he began. "All creatures have certain needs, and for the mer-people, they have times when they need to interact with others whether it be humans or others from the various races that live in the areas they inhabit," he gestured to himself and me to include our race in the collection. "When the need arises, they have the ability to transform into a human shape; however, it depends on who they are as to how long they can keep the form. Royalty can keep their forms longer than the rest of their people, so it is highly likely that Aideen is part of the royal family since she was able to travel here and home in human form."

"Royalty? Really?" Bella asked in a soft whisper.

"You deserve only the best," I told her.

"But for someone in her position to take the time to save me, it just seems . . . I don't know. I would not have believed that someone in a royal family would even deem me significant enough to care what happens to me." She blushed slightly as she spoke.

"Bella, you are significant, and with everything that we have learned, it is not just my family that believes you are irreplaceable. It seems that many non-human groups in this world recognize how extraordinary you are, and they have undertaken to keep you safe from intentional harm. Whether you accept this fact is up to you, but never doubt that you are one extremely unique individual." I beamed at her as Carlisle spoke knowing every word he spoke was absolute truth.

"And one very loved individual," I added causing Bella to blush even more than before.

Silence filled the room as I stared at her and Carlisle looked on. Bella, whether out of discomfort from being stared at or because she did have another question, asked, "Carlisle, I thought only vampires were a part of the Protectors, but from what Alice told me, it sounds like the werewolves and dwarfs will also become a part of the group."

Carlisle chuckled at Bella's comment, "I see nothing is hidden from Alice. You are correct in one respect. At one time, only vampires were part of the Protectors, but we have not always had them watching over us."

I settled back into the sofa knowing that Carlisle would give Bella a vampire history lesson. Bella must have realized the same thing, for she drew her legs up onto the sofa and then tucked them under her while leaning against my shoulder.

"At the beginning of our history, no one ruled over or protected our people. Everyone watched out for himself, but there were so few of our kind that it didn't matter. As time progressed and individual groups began to grow, a leader would periodically appear that would take control of certain areas. This worked reasonably well until one group would grow large enough to infringe upon the territory of another, and then a battle would break out. These battles finally became frequent enough that humans began to notice our kind. Now, one group of vampires decided that they wanted to survive unnoticed, so they concluded they needed some form of governing protection that would assure their invisibility. At first, this group debated about choosing one leader to rule over the entire vampire empire, but someone intelligent pointed out the dangers of only one ruler. Pick the wrong leader, and we could regret it forever, and I mean that literally." Carlisle and I both chuckled at that comment because long was eternity for us.

"The next suggestion," Carlisle continued, "was to choose a group of people who would assume the rule, but again, a wise individual pointed out the pit falls of not being able to replace the group if they became too powerful. The final suggestion was a rotating group who would monitor everyone to make sure we all followed the basic rules, the first rule being secrecy. We were forbidden to reveal to humans our true nature, or we would suffer the consequences as would the human who knew about us."

Bella surprised me by shivering against me when she heard the word 'consequences' informing me that she understood consequences.

Carlisle noticed her reaction as well because he said, "I see you understand what such a consequence would be, but it was necessary for the protection of our kind, and with such a stiff penalty, the rule was taken seriously. Very few humans, over time, learned about us, and those that did became one of us rather than face the other consequence."

"But they died either way," Bella whispered.

"Yes they did," Carlisle admitted, "but some deaths are preferable than others to some people."

"Like me," she replied, not in a complete whisper but close to one.

"Bella, do you regret your choice?" His tone was not reproachful but curious. In his mind, he was wondering if Bella felt trapped by the decision she made.

Before answering, Bella looked at me, ran a hand lovingly down the side of my face as she stared into my eyes, then turned to Carlisle, and said, "I'll never regret my decision. I made this choice freely, and I won't face a future without Edward by my side." The honesty and love in Bella's voice sent a warm thrill throughout me almost making me feel warm inside.

Carlisle smiled at her response as he said, "You are not only unique but also extremely forthright with your feelings. I'm happier for both of you than you might be able to imagine."

I heard his thoughts that told me more, but Bella watched his face, and especially his eyes to understand his thoughts because she replied, "I think I understand a little, but now, tell me about the werewolves, dwarfs, and others who have become a part of the Protector's group."

Carlisle chuckled before responding. "I keep forgetting that you are not easily sidetracked, but I respect that about you." He then became more serious as he continued his story. "The Protectors consisted only of vampires for many generations until sometime in the middle ages. During that time, people were dying of the plague, but in some villages, they found other bodies either drained of blood or mauled beyond recognition. Most European countries already had ancient folklore concerning vampires and werewolves, so it took little for the villagers to lay blame at our doors. What they didn't notice was that the deaths were the result of two rogue creatures, one a werewolf and the other a vampire, but it didn't matter to the villagers that only two killers existed. Instead, they began hunting for any 'humans' that they suspected of being tainted. This was a time of the great hunt, as our kind labeled it. The worst part was not that the humans began to hunt for us; it was the fact that the hunters killed so many innocent people because of human vengeance, greed, and ignorance. This event sparked a realization between vampire and werewolf groups that they needed to work together for the protection not only of our own kind but also those innocent humans who were unjustly accused of being something they weren't."

I felt Bella snuggle closer to me as Carlisle spoke of the killing of innocent people, and I knew she felt sympathy for those unjustly accused because she had an extremely compassionate heart.

"Both the vampires and werewolves in the region worked together to track down the rogue killers and put an end to their existence, and then they helped calm the fears of the humans. Both groups finally moved from the area and relocated in other areas, but it made us all aware of the necessity for cooperation. The Protectors, at the time, approached the werewolf leaders to discuss the inclusion of at least two of their kind into the group. For diplomatic reasons, the Protectors finally agreed to admit four werewolves to the group and three more vampires, and then they split the group in half and assigning one group to monitor Europe and parts of Africa while the second group monitored Asian and Middle Eastern areas. At that time, the western hemisphere was remote enough that the Protectors decided to allow them to monitor themselves. It is only in the last five years, Jerome informed me, that Dwarfs, mer-people, and even an interested group of Fae have become members of the Protectors. The new groups of Protectors that are forming will help monitor those of our kind living in this part of the world. I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner considering the number of our kind now residing in the western hemisphere. The new world did become just that, a new place for our kind to settle causing many to leave the old world behind, and with our moving, those of the other non-human groups followed us here." Carlisle stopped speaking to allow Bella time to process everything she had learned, and then waited for any questions she still had.

"Carlisle, I know this is probably a ridiculous question considering everything that most humans know about vampires isn't true, but do the werewolves . . . well, in the movies werewolves are vicious and bite humans in the throat, as well. Is there any truth in that belief?" Watching Bella as she carefully chose her words informed me that she felt a little embarrassed about asking that question.

"No, that is a myth for the most part, but as with rogue vampires, a rogue werewolf will randomly kill anyone or anything within its path. You might compare them to rabid animals that cannot control their movements or actions but act irrationally. If werewolves did crave human blood, you would not have been safe as a child when one of them discovered you. No, a werewolf, like a vampire, can still retain his humanity, and unless something happens to him to alter that, he still has rational thoughts and for the most part, refrains from killing." Carlisle smiled at her as he spoke, but then his visage took on a more serious expression. "I must confess, Bella, that there are those who, just like humans, will kill for the thrill of killing. That part of humanity can also spread into our new existence, and usually it was a part of the old human existence as well."

"I guess I understand that, but it is unfortunate that any being would devalue life that much. The Fae are not human, though, so do they value life as much as everyone else seems to?" Bella had snuggled further back into me, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her waist enjoying the feel of her nestled so close.

"No, they technically are not humans, but they lived among humans once upon a time, and they understand human emotions. As to the importance of life, they too feel life is significant and to take a life they must have irrefutable justifications for such a violent act. Motives like revenge, hatred, anger, or spitefulness are not adequate reasons for taking the life of any being. Only the purist of motives and intentions may prove acceptable depending on the circumstances, but even then, they hold life sacred and to take a life is almost intolerable. For this reason, some might have seen the Queen's judgment as too lenient, but others would argue that since Taranis didn't truly harm you, then his punishment is just."

"Didn't harm her?" I have to admit that I did raise my voice, enough so that Bella quickly placed her hands over her ears, but I also admit Carlisle's last comment had upset me.

"Calm down, Edward," Carlisle cautioned.

"Edward, could you loosen your hold just a little?" Bella softly asked causing me to realize that my hold on her was just a bit tight for her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Are you okay?" I said as I pulled by arms away from her waist.

She turned just enough to look me in the face. "I'm okay Edward. It was a little tight but not enough to hurt me."

I knew she would downplay anything I might do, so I asked again, "Are you sure? Bella, please tell me the truth."

"Edward," she reached back and softly caressed my cheek as she spoke my name in another form of caress. "I am fine."

Carlisle watched both of us with a critical eye; I could tell he too was concerned. Instead of dwelling on what had just happened, Carlisle asked, "Did you have any more questions, Bella?"

"Well, just one, but I think it might upset Edward if I ask it," she admitted with slight hesitation.

Carlisle chuckled at her comment. "I assure you that Edward will not yell at you, so please ask your question."

Bella briefly looked back at me, and I wanted her to feel free to ask her questions, so I smiled and nodded my head.

"Well, I did wonder if after I'm changed I might be allowed to serve with the Protectors." She looked back at me again and hastily added, "With you as well."

Carlisle laughed outright at her comment, but I felt that protective desire kick in and almost said the wrong thing. Before I could open my mouth, Carlisle replied, "I think it would be an idea worth considering, and it might be wise if all of you children serve at the same time. It would give all of you a better idea of the Protectors' role in our world, introduce you to some others of our kind, and even give you some time to travel."

His suggestion that we all serve at the same time made it seem less dangerous for Bella, and what he said did make sense. Besides, it seemed part of our obligation to others of our kind to take our turn at serving in such a position. Emmett would love the idea and even Jasper would find it fascinating. Rose and Alice would like the traveling idea, but Rose would require four-star accommodations anywhere that we traveled. Alice's ability would be one of our greatest assets because she could inform us ahead of time what would happen, and then Jasper could calm any flared emotions, and of course, I would know what everyone was thinking. I guessed Carlisle was right; it would not be too distressing, and maybe I could acquire some time alone with Bella.

"But not until after the wedding and the honeymoon," Bella added, and I noticed the deep blush rising up from her neck into her face. I also felt the heat flush through her body.

I leaned down to place a kiss on her warm neck and whispered, "Of course not until after our big event," causing her blush to deepen more, but she also laughed softly as my lips caressed her neck.

"I guess that is all the questions I have for now," Bella offered. Then she began to unfold her legs so she could stand up.

I noticed her wobbliness as she stood, and I attributed it to the fact that she had been sitting on her legs. I stood quickly and wrapped my arms around her waist again to steady her, and as I did, I, as well as Carlisle, noticed her wince at my touch.

"Bella," we both started simultaneously causing us both to pause. "Edward, can you give us a moment," Carlisle said and then quickly added. "Just wait outside the door for a moment." 'Don't argue. Allow me to talk to her,' he added silently to me.

"I'll wait outside for you," I told Bella as I let go of her and walked swiftly out the door closing it softly behind me. The guilt flooded me just as quickly as I moved, and even before I closed the door, I knew I had hurt Bella when my hold on her had tightened. She knew I would become upset at myself, and I knew she meant to save me from self-recriminations. I would have preferred her honesty so Carlisle could have examined her sooner instead of her to putting it off and pretending she didn't feel any pain.

I had focused so deeply on my guilt that I hadn't even heard what either of them said on the other side of the door, and the next thing I knew, Bella was opening the door and walking out.

"Stop it, Edward," was all she said as she walked past me and headed to our room.

"Bella, how bad is it?" How could I stop? Guilt built knowing I had hurt her, but I needed to discover the extent of her injuries that I had caused.

Without turning around to look at me, she continued onto our room as she replied, "It is nothing, so please, stop feeling guilty. I'll tell you about it in your room, not out in the hallway."

To expedite our talk, I picked her up as I rushed forward toward the bedroom door. I would not wait for her human pace. I needed answers quickly.

"Edward," she protested as I sped down the hall, opened the door, and placed her gingerly on the bed. I had been careful not to hold her around the waist, so I had placed one arm under her knees and the other across her back resting my hand on her upper arm.

"Now, how bad is it?" I asked again while trying to keep the demand from entering my tone.

"Honestly Edward, you would think I had never been hurt before, and this, well, this is minor in comparison to some of my past injuries." She pushed herself up toward the center top of the bed and then patted the spot beside her as an invitation for me to join her.

"Bella," her evasion of the question had become irritating, but I refused to allow the irritation to show in my tone or my face. "Please, just tell me how badly I hurt you. If you keep evading the questions, I'm going to think the worst." I crawled onto the bed and knelt beside her without joining her as she expected.

"Fine," she huffed. "It's just a few minor bruises. Carlisle said no broken bones or anything like that. If you want, I'll show you the bruises to prove they are nothing to worry about." She grabbed the bottom of her blouse and began to raise it.

I reached out to stay her hands. "No Bella, I'll trust you at your word. You don't have to show me." The fact that she would show me the bruises, and at the same time, she would allow me to see her scar from her surgery proved that she told me the truth. Bella had never felt comfortable allowing anyone see that scar, so for her to allow me to see it meant she was distressed that I didn't trust her. I would not offend her more by making her prove herself to me. What type of fiancée would I be to push her into proving her trustworthiness? Instead of waiting for a response from her, I leaned in and kissed her being careful not to touch where the bruises might be.

"Edward," she breathed softly after my lips released hers, "I knew the first week I befriended Alice and Emmett that I needed to be careful around your family. I knew that it would be easy for me to be unintentionally hurt. I found that out the first time I playfully hit Emmett for teasing me, and I hurt my hand. There had been times when I've had to learn to be careful around you as well because what I might be able to do to a human with little harm to me will end up hurting a lot if I did it to you."

I had remembered her mentioning hitting Emmett in the arm and finding out just how hard our bodies were, but her comment about me confused me. What could she do to a human that she had felt she wanted to do to me? "Could you explain that?" I got off my knees and sat down beside her on the bed. I wanted to wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her close to me so she would lay her head on my chest, but I held back in case she wasn't ready for the closeness yet.

"Well," her nervousness presented itself through her fidgeting hands, "there have been a few times when I would have liked to hit you out of frustration." She also kept her eyes averted from mine, I noticed.

"When have you felt frustrated enough to hit me?" I wondered aloud.

"Most recently in the hall way," she admitted in a soft whisper.

"Why?" I searched for reasons she might find my actions or me frustrating.

"You allowed yourself to feel guilty because of something anyone might have done, but because I'm such a frail human, I get slightly hurt, and you want to beat yourself up about it." I took a breath with the intent to argue my side, but she realized what I planned because she continued, "Don't deny it, and don't defend your guilt. Had you been human, you still could have hurt me because I bruise easily. I always have, and the fact that you're just a little stronger than most humans doesn't give you the right to feel guilty when you do something out of habit and I get a little hurt by it."

"A little hurt," I retorted, "Bella, I bruised you. I had no right to allow my anger to cloud my actions or judgments about being careful when I'm around you."

"Oh please Edward, stop acting as if you sent me to the hospital. It was a minor incident and nothing to worry about," she shot back quickly.

"Next time you might not be so lucky. I could easily send you to the hospital." I responded but slightly louder than I meant to.

"No, that is where you are wrong. You would never allow yourself to go that far. Unconsciously, you would stop yourself, and even if it did happen, I would not hold you to blame. Edward, I attract 'bad' things," she finally turned and stared me in the eyes as she added the last statement.

I could see the depth of her feelings, and her concern for me, and as a result, I smilingly responded, "You have that right. You attracted me, didn't you?" I knew it would help ease the tension we had both felt.

She responded with a light chuckle, "Yes I did, and you can be very bad for me at times."

I raised my eyebrow slightly questioning her meaning.

"With you around, I'm always tempted to do 'bad' things. Things we both want but know we have to wait for."

Her look as she spoke told me exactly where her mind had wondered, and I had to admit that there were times when I felt tempted in the same manner. She had been right as well, and we both knew we had to wait to do some of the things we desired until after her change and our marriage – partly for safety and partly because morally they were actions not acceptable outside of marriage. At least, my human parents brought me up believing that, and even in the 1950's people, especially adults, frowned upon 'loose sexual morals'.

But, to show her that I understood what she meant, I turned toward her, pushed her back against the pillows, and proceeded to kiss her senseless, which worked on her but also worked on me. Unthinkingly, my hands ran up her side and slipped under her blouse that she had pulled free from the waistband of her skirt when she had attempted to show me her bruises. The warmth of her skin intoxicated my senses as much as her kisses did, and I just barely stopped myself before Bella had a firsthand experience of what 'petting' was.

"Yeah, bad," she whispered as I pulled back removing both my hands and lips from her body.

So went our summer, we both wanted more than we could have but held back from each other as best we could. In 1971, a song came out called 'Killing Me Softly with His Song'; I could aptly call that the summer Bella was 'killing me softly' with her love. I don't mean she intentionally set out to harm me in any way but having to refrain from instincts that started coming naturally, something I hadn't believed possible, became a continual struggle for me. We continually had to keep our time together from going too far physically, and at times it felt torturous. It didn't help that every night I laid in bed beside her while she slept. Sometimes, one's mind follows tracks of thought that one has tried to suppress all day long, but nighttime seems to bring those thoughts to the surface to torment a person. The nighttime, at least for me, provided long hours of idleness in which my mind created a variety of extremely visible scenarios of future romantic episodes after we were married.

That summer I started understanding many of Emmett's biting innuendos and teasing barbs about what it truly felt like to be in love, wanting something I couldn't have, and enduring the pain of holding back natural urges. Emmett spent more time laughing at me, Jasper was busy dousing raging hormones – mine, as well as Bella's, and Alice took Bella on more shopping trips than Bella had been on in her entire short life.

When summer vacation began, I thought the worst part would come with its ending, but in all actuality, Bella and I both began to look forward to the beginning of school because it would give us both something to do other than be together. Don't take me wrong; I loved my time alone with Bella, but the urges that came with being close to each other began to affect us both adversely. Even Emmett noticed the negative side effects and offered, several times, to drive us to Reno where we could marry secretly, thereby relieving the tension building between us. I must admit that I felt sorely tempted to take him up on his offer, but I felt a secret elopement would belittle and cheapen the love I felt for Bella because I would have done it not out of love but out of lust.

Therefore, both Bella and I welcomed the beginning of school not realizing the dangers and trauma the new school year would bring.


	65. Chapter 65 Birthday Surprise

**AN: Emmett wants to send a shout out to ****Noble Korhedron, and he says he really likes number 4 on your list of what you learned from Twilight. I, myself like number 29, and Alice is not sure if she agrees with number 2. Thanks, also, for being the first person to review the last chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own the Cullen family or Bella.**

* * *

**Journal Entry Forty-Eight – Birthday Surprise [Fall 1959]**

Once again, it was almost impossible for me to share classes with Bella as she was a junior and I was a senior. I had an advanced anatomy class while she sat through biology. Seniors were required to take government and juniors were required to take American history. Even our English classes differed because of our grade levels, but we did share physical education, and this year we both enrolled in art and drama together. I looked forward to discovering Bella's artistic talents and acting out scenes from plays with her.

"Romeo and Juliet" quickly came to mind because there were a number of kissing scenes; at least, there would be with my interpretation of the play. If Romeo loved Juliet half as much as I loved Bella, he wouldn't have been able to keep his lips or hands off her, and of course, they married soon after they met. I admired many elements about that era. Parental consent, for instance, was not necessary for a couple to wed, young people could marry at a young age, and people didn't wait to join themselves to each other in matrimony. Romeo was about sixteen years old while Juliet was only thirteen, but this does not mean I would have married Bella at such a young age. No, I would have waited even then to make sure she understood who and what she was tying herself to for eternity.

Even though our classes changed, one thing remained the same about the school environment and that was the number of boys who continued to ogle Bella and think about asking her out on a date. Some even had the false belief that Bella's relationship with me was not as serious as they thought it had been the year before. Those boys had a lot to learn about veritable, infinite love.

August and September slipped by smoothly for us with only minor difficulties. Bella had the typical, periodic mishap, but nothing serious occurred. She did sprain her hand playing volleyball in physical education, and two weeks later, she sprained her ankle so severely that Carlisle ordered her to use crutches for two weeks; again, this was an injury received in physical education while playing badminton, and it stopped her class participation for four weeks. Carlisle wanted to give her enough time for the ankle to heal thoroughly before putting her in the 'line of fire,' as he called it. Emmett had found both incidents amusing because he said only Bella could find a way to be seriously hurt in a physical education class where they had been playing mundane, low stress, minimal activity sports.

While Bella suffered through sports, Rose excelled in her engine repair class. It had not taken even a full week for the vocational teacher to agree to allow Rose to remain in his class, which pleased Emmett and gave him something to boast about, and believe me, the family heard about every small achievement that Rose made in that all male class. It surprised me that he agreed to allow her to remain in the class considering her only classmates were male, but Rose assured him that once the other students found out what she was capable of doing, they respected her skills more than fixated on her looks. Of course, Emmett did seek me out for verification of that fact, but I had to inform him honestly that Rose was telling the truth. Since I could hear every thought her classmates had, I knew they occasionally noticed how gorgeous she was even in her coveralls, but they were more amazed at her skillfulness as a mechanic. Even the teacher began to focus more on her skills than anything else as she proved herself particularly during that first week.

In art class, I discovered Bella had some limited skills with paints and pencils, but her sculpting lacked any true talent. Her one piece of required sculpted work was supposed to be a dog, but according to Emmett, it resembled a mutated chipmunk. Bella took no offense at his comparison, but she lamented her deficient artistic abilities. At least the tree she drew did resemble a tree, but when she applied paints to her sketch, the tree morphed into a blotch of various shades of green with a trunk emerging from the bottom of the blotch. The redeeming quality of the landscape she painted were the blues of the sky, and the fluffy puffs of white that created the clouds that drifted across her sky. Even Emmett admired the sky and clouds and suggested Bella cut off the bottom section that contained the tree, and then only paint sky and clouds pictures from that point on. Bella quietly admitted to me that she would not enroll in another art class, feeling dismally ashamed of her poor creative ability. I reminded her that she had other abilities that far outshone any artistic skills she might lack, and when asked to name one of those abilities, I kissed her and replied, "Your kissing outshines any other talent you have at this time." My response, at least, brought a much-desired smile to her lovely countenance and more kisses to reward my chivalrous comment, according to her.

Early on a stormy Friday evening at the end of September, Emmett came through the front door dripping water all over Esme's newly polished entryway floor. He clutched his jacket around him as if it could keep him warm, but the wiggling under his jacket quickly drew our attention.

"What are you hiding, Emmett?" Rose was the first to voice the question we all wanted to ask.

"Well, I thought it would make a good birthday present for Bella since she has always wanted something like this," he responded rather sheepishly, which was rather unusual for him.

"And just what is it that she has always wanted?" I asked him finding his thoughts rather confusing, and I admitted to myself that I didn't know what it might be that she 'always wanted'. All I could pick up from his random, disjointed thoughts was a river, a bag, and Bella's face glowing; the only words I picked up were, 'poor wet little thing.'

Before he could open his jacket, I heard it, a soft, low mew, and I knew immediately what he was shielding from sight.

"Emmett, why would you bring home a cat? As a predator, I'm surprised it is even letting you hold it," I said. Vampires didn't keep pets for exactly that reason; animals feared our predatory nature, and their instincts kept them as far from us as possible.

"Well, here's the thing. Normally, a cat, any cat, would be trying to escape, but this one is different," Emmett chuckled.

"How is it different?" I expected the cat might have some manner of deformity.

"I found it floating in the river," Emmett said as he began to extract the animal from within his jacket.

"Cats don't like water," Alice chimed in, but I suspected she might know more than she was letting on. It would not have surprised me if she had seen this event before it happened and just kept the information as her secret.

"It didn't have much of a choice, the poor little thing." It was funny seeing Emmett, who had a build much like the grizzly bears he hunted, gingerly holding a tiny little kitten. The fact that it was a kitten rather than a cat also surprised me.

Rose cautiously walked up to him and held out her hand. I knew she meant to pet it but was reluctant to how the kitten would receive her. I knew that it was best to hold your hand palm up when approaching animal so they could smell you first. Emmett must have known the same thing, for he reached out and flipped Rose's hand over so it was palm up, and then he slowly drew her hand close for the kitten to sniff. Amazingly, the kitten did not seem repelled by her predatory scent.

"Somebody tied this kitten and its siblings in a bag and tossed them in the river," Emmett commented as he stared at Alice while he absently used his finger to rub the underside of the kitten's chin. "When I saw the bag and heard its cries, I jumped in and pulled the bag out of the water just as it was going under. I suspect that wasn't the first time the bag had gone under the water because when I finally jumped back onto the bank and opened the bag, the other kittens were dead and only this one survived."

"What did you do with the rest of them?" Jasper asked just as Emmett finished talking.

"I buried them. It didn't seem right just to leave them. They were so tiny, and this one hardly has his eyes open. I think he likes me because I saved him. Maybe he is too small to realize I'm a predator, but he does remind me of Bella."

"Oh, she looked like a drowned cat to you?" Rose chirped in with a chuckle.

"No," Emmett retorted sharply. "Even though she knew we were dangerous, she accepted us just like this kitten. They both went beyond the instincts of most humans and animals and accepted us for who we are."

He had a valid point. The kitten seemed at ease lying within Emmett's hand, and it was even purring contentedly. Although Bella didn't purr, she did admit she felt safe being around my family, and she didn't seem to care how we lived or hunted. I wondered how she would feel about the kitten. She had once admitted that she had wanted a puppy when she was younger, but her father wouldn't allow it. Would he feel any different about a kitten?

"Emmett, what if her father won't let her have it?" I asked, deciding he needed to consider what he would do in that situation.

"Oh, I already thought about that. We'll keep it here, and Bella can visit it anytime she wants."

"Visit what?" Carlisle asked as he walked in the door, and then stopped as he noticed the diminutive bundle of fur resting in Emmett's open hand. "What is that?" Even though Carlisle probably knew what Emmett was holding, I figured his statement was an astounded reaction to seeing such a small kitten sleeping in the hand of a man who often wrestled with grizzly bears before ripping into their throats to feed upon their blood.

"Bella's birthday present," Emmett chuckled heartily.

"And just where do you plan on keeping it?" Esme asked as she walked in from the kitchen area.

"In the house, I guess," Emmett replied as he looked down at the tiny being in his hand. I noticed he was still absently but gently stroking it with his thumb.

"What about my furniture?" She asked in response.

"I don't understand," Emmett replied.

"Cat claws have a tendency to tear up furniture, and I don't want that happening in my house." Esme prided herself on her lovely home, and Emmett did have a tendency to be quite harsh on the furniture. Now he had brought something into the house that would also cause damage to her immaculate home.

"You can't expect me to put it outside. It's just a baby, and there are wild animals out there that would gladly eat something this helpless and small." Without realizing it, Emmett drew his hand with the kitten still in it closer to his body in a protective manner. It was somewhat comical to observe the protective side of Emmett; he had only shown that aspect of himself once before, and then it revolved around Bella's safety.

"After it is old enough, have it de-clawed, and then it can live in the house. Otherwise, it needs to learn to live and survive outdoors," Esme declared.

By now, the entire family had gathered in the living room and was watching the exchange between Emmett and Esme. We all knew Esme's word was law within the walls of our home, and even Carlisle abides by her word when it came to household matters.

"Cruelty thy name is mother," Emmett quipped as he looked down on the tiny being.

Everyone tried to stifle their laughter at Emmett's leading comment. Esme appeared shocked as I heard her thought, which I didn't need to disclose to anyone because she added, "I didn't mean now, but when the thing is a little older."

Emmett then added to the bundle in his hand, "I'm sorry little one, but as soon as it is possible, you'll lose those defensive claws for the protection of Esme's furniture, but be assured, I won't leave you defenseless."

We all did laugh at Emmett's protectiveness of a bundle of fur that he had only found that evening, and even Esme put her hand over her mouth to hide her mirth.

"I think you will need to pay a visit to the pet store and the vet, Emmett." Carlisle's natural tendency to look at the practical side of the situation revealed itself in his comment. His mind was already mapping out where the little thing could sleep, eat, and relieve itself. "You will also have to train it to use a litter box, and since it is so young, you will need to get kitten milk for it because it will not be able to eat solid food yet."

I would never have thought of something along that nature, but then, never having had to deal with a pet of any type presented all of us with a new learning experience.

"I guess I should do that right away," Emmett replied, and then he reached out to place the kitten in Rose's hand, but she backed away.

"It's alright, Rose," he commented to her, "it won't bite you."

"I might hurt it, Emmett," she replied keeping herself from his reach.

"Nonsense, Rose, you'll do just fine. Think of it as a baby," Alice and Jasper both laughed at his comment.

"It is a baby, Emmett," Alice replied, her face lit up by her smile. She already knew Rose would not take the kitten from Emmett, so she stepped forward. "I'll take care of it while you buy supplies for it. Take Jasper with you, he needs to get some fresh air anyway," she added. I looked on as I realized the scent of the kitten's blood was slightly affecting Jasper's senses.

"Hurry back, Bella will be here in about fifteen minutes," I told him knowing he wanted to present the kitten to Bella. "I guess Rose will have to pick her up though since Alice is watching the kitten. Unless, of course, you would rather watch the kitten, Rose," I said as I turned to her knowing she would not exchange places with Alice at that time.

"No, no, I'll gladly pick Bella up. It will give me a chance to thank her father again for getting me into the shop class, and I can tell him what I've been learning." She rather beamed at that idea, and I could hear what she was planning to tell Bella's father. That friendship had surprised all of us including Bella, who never thought her father would ever befriend anyone in the Cullen family.

"Well, if that's all set, come on Jasper, let's go," Emmett said as he carefully handed the sleeping kitten to Alice.

I laughed and almost told Emmett he would have made a great father, but refrained when I realized the remark would hurt Rose's feelings. She had resented being turned after Carlisle and Esme had found her, and she mourned the loss of ever being a mother, so it wouldn't be fair to remind her of that fact.

Rose left shortly after Emmett, but she did not return as soon as I had expected. It was nearly half an hour before the front door opened, and I was able to wrap my arms around Bella and sweep her off her feet.

"I missed you," I murmured into her hair after kissing her.

She laughed softly. "It has only been three hours since you left my house."

"Too long," I murmured as I set her feet back on the floor and led her into the living room.

"Rose told me Alice was babysitting, and that's why she couldn't pick me up." Skepticism laced her tone as she spoke.

"Technically, she is, but I can't explain it," I knew her curiosity would require answers, so I changed the subject. "You realize you have a birthday approaching."

"Don't tell me Alice is planning another surprise party," she lamented.

I laughed at her pained expression. "No, I can assure you there will be no surprise party."

"Good, once in an eternity is more than enough." I would have laughed at her comment, but she then stared at me in an odd manner, which was clarified when she asked, "Edward, did you know when Emmett suggested the spin the bottle game that you would have to kiss me?"

"I knew there might be a chance that it could happen," I freely admitted not aware of where her questions on that subject would lead.

"If you had known you would be required to kiss me, would you have chosen not to play?" She avoided eye contact when she asked that question.

I raised her chin so I could see her eyes as I answered. "I don't honestly know the answer to that. Remember, I was trying to avoid biting you, but I was still struggling with my desires in that area."

"Do you ever regret kissing me?" I saw her hesitation in asking that question, and her overwhelming desire for an answer.

"No, Bella, I will never regret kissing you. In fact, if I had known what it would feel like kissing you, I would have kissed you the first day in the park after you fainted." I smiled broadly as I spoke so she would know I was telling the truth, and I was. Had I realized what she truly meant to me in the deepest sense of the meaning, I would have kissed her rather than tasted her blood, but how could I have known that a love was waiting for me that would eclipse even the smell of her blood. As much as her blood called to me, her love called to me even more.

Looking deep into my eyes, she whispered, "You really mean that, don't you?"

"Bella," I murmured softly as I leaned toward her and captured her lips with mine, and the sparks that flared between us still amazed me. How could so much electricity exist between us, and yet, how could it not? I've watched those old movies where a couple would kiss, and in the background, the filmmakers would have fireworks going off. I had always considered that the poorest example of two people being in love and highly unrealistic, but with Bella, there were indubitably times when I could imagine that anyone watching us would observe either fireworks over us or fingers of electrical sparks shooting out from us. I felt our love was just that dynamic.

"Edward, is Bella here yet?" Emmett's voiced boomed through the house causing Bella and I to break apart.

He already knew she was there; he never missed the intensification of her scent when she was around, but I replied anyway. "Yes, Emmett, she is."

I heard him put some bags down by the door, and then both Jasper and he rounded the corner and came into the living room.

"Bella, I have an early birthday present for you," he began, but Bella interrupted.

"You didn't have to do that. I told you that I didn't want any presents this year," she slid slightly away from me on the sofa.

"Too late, besides, I didn't buy this gift," he laughed.

"Please, tell me that you didn't steal it," she retorted with her own laugh.

"Alice, please bring the gift down," Emmett said this time in a normal tone. I knew his loudness had been to break us apart because he had wanted Bella's complete attention.

"I thought you said she was babysitting," she turned to me as she spoke.

"I did, and she is in a sense," I vaguely replied. Emmett would give me a crestfallen expression if I ruined his surprise because even though Bella was my fiancée, she was his dearly loved sister.

It usually took Alice less than five seconds to travel from her bedroom to the living room, but I noted her human like movements as she came down the stairs. She made no sudden or jerky moves, which caused me to stare questioningly at her.

'I don't want to startle the poor little thing,' she mentally explained. I guessed I still had a lot to learn about having a human-type pet, and I began to realize we all would have to learn how to move around with a kitten that might, at any moment, end up around our feet. Bella would be heartbroken if one of us accidentally killed the tiny thing.

As soon as Alice reached the bottom step, Emmett blocked Bella's vision as he moved in front of Alice with his back to us and took the kitten from Alice. He made sure Bella could not see what he was doing, and I didn't need to see their actions to know what was transpiring. Once the transfer was made, Emmett kept the kitten cupped in his large hands and slowly walked toward Bella – slow, as in slow for Emmett, but at a speed that Bella would normally walk. Bella stood up as he reached her.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Emmett said as he held his hands toward Bella and then slowly revealed the kitten hidden in them.

"Oh," Bella breathed out as she tentatively reached toward the kitten, but just as her hand came near it, the kitten hissed at her causing her to withdraw her hand quickly.

"Emmett," Carlisle, Esme, and Rose had entered the room to watch Bella receive her gift, "maybe the kitten does not trust Bella's scent. Remember, it only knows the scent of vampires and has no idea if Bella's scent is safe. Why don't you take Bella's hand and allow some of your scent to rub off on her and then, still holding her hand, slowly move it palm up toward the kitten." Carlisle at least had an idea of why the kitten might have reacted negatively toward Bella.

"Shouldn't she already smell of a vampire since she has been sitting here with Edward?" Emmett asked.

"Only if the kitten smells her lips," Jasper quipped in with a chuckle.

"Ha ha," Bella retorted without any matching humor.

For his part, Emmett reached out with one hand while holding the kitten in the other. He rubbed her hand with his, and then slowly drew her hand toward the kitten. I watched as its small nostrils sniffed both approaching hands, and as Emmett brought Bella's closer, the kitten hissed softly but stopped as it smelt Emmett's scent. Finally, it stretched its neck to take in Bella's scent along with Emmett's, and Bella was able to pet the petite furry birthday present.

"Is it male or female?" Bella spoke softly.

"Don't know," Emmett replied. "Carlisle says it is still too young to tell."

Bella scrutinized it more closely. "Its eyes are hardly open." Then she looked up at Emmett. "You said you didn't steal the kitten, but why would someone give you a kitten this young."

"Let's just say the kitten's owners didn't want it, so I brought it home as a gift for you."

Bella's expression told me that she wanted to ask more, but Alice interjected, "You really don't want to know Bella, so just accept the gift."

Bella then looked over at me. I responded by smiling broadly and saying, "Listen to Alice."

"Can I hold it?" Bella asked, focusing back onto Emmett.

"Sure," Emmett very gently transferred the kitten from his hand into Bella's hands. "I'll go get the supplies I bought. I know you can't take the kitten home, so I thought it could stay with us, but you can visit anytime you want," he chuckled as he added the last comment.

"What are you going to name it?" Alice asked as she walked over to pet the kitten while Bella was holding it.

Bella laughed as she said, "Now I understand why Edward said you were 'technically' babysitting. I guess watching a kitten this tiny could be considered 'babysitting'. As to its name, I think I'll call it Emmie because that can work with either gender."

"Not with a 'y' though." Emmett walked in carrying three bags. "The 'y' makes it sound too feminine. 'Ie' is a better ending for names like that."

I could not refrain from laughing. His comment seemed rather nonsensical, and I wasn't the only one who laughed at the comment, but Bella took it all in stride and just nodded at his request.

"Did you buy enough?" Rose laughed, as she watched Emmett place the bags on the floor by Bella.

"Well, Jasper and I tried to think of everything we might need." He began pulling items out of the bag. "We got a litter pan and some litter." It must have been a twenty-pound bag of litter.

"Do you truly think a kitten that little needs so much litter?" Rose laughed.

"Well, we wanted to be certain it would last for awhile," Emmett replied with a slight smile.

"I think it should," Carlisle sensibly added.

"We also bought a little bed for it to sleep in," Emmett pulled out a round cushioned object similar to small pillow like object with cushioned sided, which he held up, which we all understood was the aforementioned bed, and all the while he continued talking. "And then we also bought some kitten milk and a bottle that the clerk said would allow the kitten to drink the milk. I also bought a small bowl because he said when the kitten was just a little older we could teach it to lick the milk from the bowl."

"Do you think he is hungry now?" Bella used one finger to stroke the kitten causing it to purr softly.

"It hasn't eaten since I brought it home, and before that, I have no idea of the last time it ate," Emmett informed her. "I'll go fix it a bottle, and then you can see if it is hungry." I noticed Bella began to refer to the kitten as a 'he,' but Emmett continued to use the word 'it' in reference to the kitten.

It turned out that the kitten was hungry. Emmett had brought in the little bottle half full, and the kitten quickly drank every drop of milk offered to it. Esme, while Bella fed the kitten, took the litter box and litter to the downstairs bathroom and declared that room as the kitten's 'potty' room. Bella laughed when Esme called it a 'potty' room.

The rest of the evening, Bella spent petting the kitten even after it fell asleep. As I finally drove her home that evening, I told her that I was glad the kitten would stay at our house so that I could have time alone with her at her house. She laughed and asked if I was jealous; I didn't admit the truth, but I did admit to myself that I was jealous of the time she lavished on that kitten instead of me. To overcome my feelings of jealousy, I passed that night with her wrapped in my arms as she slept and resolved to learn how to share the love of my life with that fuzzy diminutive interloper. Don't get me wrong; I didn't begrudge Bella receiving a kitten from Emmett; I just had a problem sharing what was mine with someone or something else. I hoped as it grew into a cat that Bella would spend less time with it and more time focusing on me. As I have said before, I am a truly selfish being.


	66. Chapter 66 Conspiracy

**AN: Not my property – the Cullen family and Bella, but I can lay claim to the kitten, the alternative universe story line and Aleksey. Yes, Aleksey is all mine – figurative speaking. I hope everyone will enjoy this chapter and know that the countdown in on to the final chapter. There are currently seven more to go with a possible epilogue. Enjoy.  
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**Journal Entry Forty-Nine – Conspiracy [1959]**

Bella loved her early birthday present, and the kitten developed a definite personality. First, the kitten used the cat bed, which Emmett purchased, only when he deemed it fitting to sleep in it; otherwise, he slept wherever he chose, which was mostly on our bed or Rose and Emmett's. Emmett found it highly amusing, but Rose didn't. Second, the kitten became a shadow of Emmett's unless Bella was in the house. The kitten would follow Emmett wherever he went in the house, and Emmett learned to close his bedroom door anytime he wanted alone time with Rose, or I believe, the kitten would have wanted to either watch or somehow join in on the activity that went on behind those closed doors. In my mind's eye, I could just see the kitten jumping up onto the bed while Emmett was trying to be amorous and rubbing against Emmett while he was trying to . . . well, I think you get the picture.

Whenever Bella was at the house, then the kitten would shadow Bella, and as much as I wanted to, I ended up leaving our bedroom door open to the little intruder. In all truthfulness, though, I have to admit that Emmie was a delightful addition to the family, and even more so, since Bella unreservedly loved him.

As October began, Alice initiated plans for another elaborate birthday party for Bella, but this time, Bella adamantly refused to allow Alice to arrange any birthday celebration. When Esme requested a small family gathering to include Bella's parents, Bella reluctantly agreed. Since Bella's birthday would fall on a Tuesday, Esme proposed a small but unpretentious celebration on the Saturday before her birthday, but then had to change it to the following Saturday because Bella's father had to be out of town that weekend.

Bella voiced her concern to me about her father's frequent out of town trips. "I don't like it, Edward. He doesn't even tell my mother where he is going. He just says it is work related, and mom is just as bad. She seems to disappear sometimes on the weekends, and when I ask where she is going or what she is doing, she evades answering."

I wasn't much help because neither of Bella's parents was easy to hear, and after I had begun dating Bella, it was more comfortable for me to avoid her father. He would always feel Bella was too young to date, and he made it obvious that he believed I wasn't the right choice for her. I didn't take his opposition to me personally, for I quickly learned that Bella's father would never believe anyone was right for her. As to her parents' frequent disappearances, all I could truly elicit from their thoughts was that her father's trips were work related, and her mother's small weekend trips did somehow tied into Aleksey.

Since Esme postponed Bella's birthday celebration, I decided to take Bella on a road trip. It had been a sunny day, so we had driven to Lake Kapowsin to spend some quiet time alone without her kitten tagging along. I found a delightful place near the lake, and I rearranged a fallen log so we could sit and just gaze at our leisure across the smooth surface of the lake.

"Well, maybe his job does require that he travels a little, and maybe your mother just needs some time alone," I suggested, trying to sound reassuring even though I didn't think that was the case for her mother. Lately, I had noticed her mother's thoughts appeared more clouded than normal. She mainly focused on housework, but a few times, she let slip a thought about Aleksey and his spa, and once she had a picture of his workrooms with minor decoration changes. At one point, I thought she was working for him on weekends because mostly her mother arrived home before dark, so that seemed believable.

Bella's father, on the other hand, had his mind focused on names of potential recruits, ideas for presentations to the seniors at the high school, and concerns for Bella's safety. Bella's physical education class, at times, held priority in his thoughts. He had toyed with the idea a number of times of requesting her removal from the class due to the number of injuries she had already obtained during the school year. Not only had she sprained her hand and ankle, but she also had come home with a number of bruises; some were minor while others were a little more noticeable. Since both of her parents seemed to focus their thoughts on, what seemed to me, trivial things, I would have suspected that both her parents knew I could hear their thoughts, but it was not a possibility I accepted.

Bella laughed at my comment, but it wasn't of a humorous nature. "You don't believe that, do you? If you know anything, please tell me. Their thoughts must give you some idea of what is happening."

"No," I shook my head, "they have both been keeping their thoughts focused on other things. If I didn't know better, I would think they both knew I could hear their thoughts. I honestly cannot tell you anything about what's going on with your parents."

"This is so frustrating. I feel like something ominous is hanging over me, but I just can't figure out what, and they aren't talking to each other either. If I try to listen any harder, I might go deaf." She laughed slightly at the comment, so I knew she was trying to make a joke.

"Honestly Bella, I don't hear them talk about anything that would help," I admitted. My nights spent at Bella's house offered me the perfect opportunity to eavesdrop on any conversations they might have after Bella fell asleep, but as Bella noted, they seemed to have stopped talking to each other.

"Has Alice seen anything?" She leaned her head against my shoulder and relaxed her body against mine as she spoke.

"Alice has looked because she too noticed a coldness growing between your parents, and she thought it was curious how often they allowed you over without hesitation or concern. So far, she hasn't seen anything that would provide any of us a clue as to what your parents are doing." I had pointedly asked Alice a number of times to look specifically at Bella's parents, but everything she saw was blurred as if neither of them had made any decisions about the future as of late. We both concurred that it was strange but not necessarily something to be concerned about.

"Has she seen anything about me?" Bella asked softly.

"Just that you would be upset if she tried to throw you a big surprise birthday party," I replied.

With a genuine laugh, Bella said, "Well, at least I know her 'sight' is still working," which caused me to chuckle in response.

We spent the rest of the time cuddling, kissing, and planning our future together. High on the list of things we discussed was the college options we were considering. I decided to focus on a degree in architecture this time, more as a way to help improve Esme skills than mine. I had once tried to encourage Esme to go to college, but she felt she was too old to pursue a degree. She said she would feel out of place with all the younger students. I laughed at her argument because she was only 27 years old, and with a little help from Alice and Rose, she could pass for a 20-year-old college student. Bella toyed with the idea of a degree in English, but she was not certain what careers awaited a graduate with an English degree. I laughed as I reminded her that she would have years to choose a career, and in between college and a career, she would have the unique opportunity to return to high school numerous times.

She laughed with me about reliving her high school years, but then asked seriously, "How many times have you been in high school?"

"Not counting the time I didn't finish because of my 'official' death, this is my sixth excursion through high school. A few of those I didn't finish because of family changes." I chuckled softly remembering the times the family had to pack quickly and move.

"Did either of those have to do with Rose or Emmett joining the family?" Her enticing form continued to relax against mine making me react to her in ways I didn't want her to notice, which was hard because of the way she was sitting. She had shifted as we spoke, so she was sitting with her back pressed against my chest, my arms wrapped around her waist, and my legs straddling the log. In that position, she could rest her legs on top of the log. At times like that, I could not help but inhale deeply of her fragrances, and enjoyed every familiar scent that wafted past my senses, but I also had to be careful to keep her away from certain parts of my anatomy.

"Yes it would," I replied. "It was unwise to stay around the home of either of them after they were changed. We could not explain to their families what had happened to them, and Emmett had a bit of a struggle with his diet right after his change."

"Grizzly didn't satisfy him?" The calmness of her reply made one think our diet was as natural to her as it was to us.

"No, he seemed to crave the real thing for the first few months of his existence, so we had to monitor him carefully because during those first few months, a new-born vampire is hungrier and stronger than normal." I felt conflicted about providing her with so many particulars about our lifestyle, but I had learned that lying or hiding information from her only resulted in negative consequences. By that point in our relationship, I had also accepted the fact that she could comprehend more than I gave her credit for; a normal human would have run away screaming and never looked back, but Bella coped with it all as if she had been born into our anomalous lifestyle.

"Well, I can understand moving for both reasons. It was a shame, though, that he could not tell his family goodbye," I meant to respond to that comment, but she didn't pause, only added, "but then, if the bears had killed him, he wouldn't have been able to say goodbye anyway."

"Emmett shared his story with you?" I had suspected everyone in the family, with the exception of Rose, had at some point shared their stories with her, but I had never asked them or her if my suspicions were correct.

"He shared some of it. I know there were two bears that attacked him, and that Rose saved him. He also said that Carlisle changed him because Rose didn't believe she could trust herself. He said that was all he could share about the story because it was all that he remembered." Bella's voice began to have that sleepy lisp to it, so I stopped talking and began to hum softly hoping it would relax her more.

Sleep, I suspected, was something she needed. She seemed more agitated than usual lately about what was happening with her parents. If it had been in my ability to discover what they were doing or thinking, I would have, but as mentioned, they had both become overly cautious about their thoughts.

The weeks leading up to her birthday only worried Bella more. She knew something was happening, but her parents stayed mute about what, and that only caused Bella more stress. Her sleep became restless, and she eventually woke herself up during the night. She wouldn't tell me what her dreams were about, but 'no' became a frequent word just before she would wake up. Even her mother noticed Bella's insomniac look and asked me if any trouble existed between us that might have Bella worried. I assured her mother that no problems existed in our relationship, but I could not tell her that Bella was concerned about their relationship because I had promised Bella not to mention anything about her worries to her parents.

The week of Bella's birthday was the worst. Bella thrashed around in her sleep, and her parent's thoughts were erratic at best. Comments like, 'he picked the worst time,' 'how could he do this now,' 'it's too late to change,' 'it's something we can adjust to,' 'Bella will understand,' and 'Bella won't understand' occurred the most often. My frustration revolved around my concern for Bella and a desire for her parents to tell her what was happening between them.

On the night of Bella's party, we all waited in the living room for Bella, and when Bella and her parents arrived, Alice blanked because of a vision. It seemed to take her awhile to recover, and I caught fragments of Bella crying within Alice's vision, but all she said afterwards was, "You need to be strong for her, Edward."

Even though I had caught those brief snippets with Bella in tears, I did not have a clue as to what caused them. Therefore, I waited impatiently for the arrival of their car, but when I finally heard it coming up the driveway, I wanted to rush out and greet Bella. Alice, however, grabbed my arm to stop me. She didn't say anything, but her expression told me waiting would be best.

As soon as the car stopped, I heard its door open, slam shut, and footsteps running up toward the house. My first concern was that Bella might fall as she raced up to the front door, and I could not stop myself from being prepared to run to her if she did stumble or trip. Bella surprised me by throwing open the door and running toward me with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"We're moving," she sobbed as she threw herself into my arms. "Take me upstairs, please," she then whispered.

I gathered her up in my arms and exited the room before her parents even crossed the threshold of our front door.

"He's being transferred," she sobbed into my chest as I rushed up the stairs. "He hates me, and he knows this will kill me."

"Who, Bella?" I would not jump to conclusions, but I figured she was speaking about her dad.

"The man who calls himself my father, that's who. No loving father would do that to his daughter. I can't move, Edward. I don't want to lose you." She continued to sob even as I sat down on the bed with her. I kept her tightly wrapped in my arms, allowing her to soak my shirt if she needed to. "How could he do this? Does he hate us both so much that he thinks he needs to tear us apart?"

"We'll work this out, Bella," I didn't know how we would work it out, but I wanted to offer her some hope. "I won't lose you. Even if you move overseas, I'll find a way to be near you. As soon as I graduate, I'll find a college close to where you're living. I won't lose you," but I feared that she wasn't listening to me.

"He's making us move right after the first of the year. He won't even allow me to finish out the school year here. He told mom there were no other options." She was sobbing less, so her body was shaking less. "I threatened to runaway before moving, but he just told me to grow up and be sensible. He wouldn't even consider any other alternative but making me move with him." She finally pulled away from me to look at my face, but what she said next surprised me. "Let's elope."

"Bella, have you thought that out? You're underage, so it wouldn't be legal, and your father would just notify the police and declare you a runaway. I'll be lucky if he doesn't charge me with kidnapping you, and possibly adding that I took you against your will."

"I'd deny that. You can't kidnap someone who chooses to runaway with you. Maybe we could go to Canada. Do they have extradition there? Can they force us to come back if we make it across the border?" She was now playing with the buttons on my shirt and focusing more on them while avoiding my eyes.

I put my hand under her chin to raise it up so she could see me as I spoke. "We will work something out, Bella. I will not lose you. You must believe that. My life and yours are intertwined, and not even your father making you move can unwind us from each other. I'm just a lowly little flower that cannot survive without my sunshine, and you're that sunshine."

Bella finally laughed at that analogy. "Edward, you'll never pass as a lowly flower. If anything, you'd be an orchid. In fact, you are like a rare hybrid orchid that will survive under a variety of condition. You'll live forever while I'll wither away into nothing." She pulled away from me then, got off the bed, and began pacing the floor. "It's a conspiracy, that's what it is. He's conspiring with those he works for to keep us apart. I won't let it work, though. I'll live with Uncle Peter if I have to. Those Protectors said he marked me, and that made me his. Maybe I'll just have him change me, and then we can just disappear until after I turn eighteen. Once I'm eighteen, he can't do anything." As she spoke, her strides became quicker than before, and her words rushed out of her mouth.

If I had made a medical judgment, I would have claimed she was becoming hysterical, but what she said was not nonsensical. Of course, I would never allow Aleksey to change her; if anyone changed her, it would be me. She had been somewhat right about the Protectors; they did say Aleksey had marked her, but he then officially turned her over to my family and me, and that made her mine in their eyes. Her father, of course, would not understand any of that, and to preserve his life, he would never know about any of that side of Bella's life.

Before she became overwrought, I had risen from the bed, walked over to her, and took her in my arms. "Bella, we will find a solution to this situation. We just have to be patient and not bellicose . . ."

She looked me straight in the eyes, replying, "I'm not becoming belligerent, and I have no reason to be patient. He knows how I feel. I've told him that this isn't something that will pass." Her voice began to rise as she continued. "I'm serious Edward. I love you, and I will not change my mind or heart about what I feel for you. I'm not a child. I'm not contradictory. My feelings aren't contradictory. I know what I feel, and I love you," she finally shouted.

I would have found it difficult to imagine her parents hadn't heard the end of her speech, but from the comments coming from my family, I knew they heard every word Bella said.

'Way to go Bella,' was Emmett's most valuable input, while Alice just sent images of the look on the face of Bella's father. He looked like a man who wanted to stop what was happening but had no alternative; even his thoughts concurred. His thoughts no longer seemed clouded. He had been working on this transfer since the beginning of the year when Bella came home from Colorado with the broken arm. He thought separation would give Bella time to mature and see the options around her. He had failed to realize, until it was too late, that Bella was already mature and knew her mind better than any other teenager. He had been working the past three months trying to stop the transfer, but those higher up had wanted to send him to the new position. His superiors, from the few thoughts I gathered from him, would have initiated a transfer even if he hadn't requested one.

"Bella," I said softly in an attempt to calm her down, "your father tried to stop this transfer. He has been spending the last few months meeting with people in an attempt to cancel the transfer so he could stay here. Maybe this is just about his job and those who tell him where he will be serving." I wasn't about to tell her that he originally wanted the transfer. She was mad at her father already, and I would not add fuel to that specific conflagration.

"Really?" She began to search for the truth in my eyes. At least I could be honest to a point, and I wanted her to see the truth in my eyes about the part I had shared with her.

"Yes, his thoughts are exceptionally clear right now. He knows how upset you are, and it seems he is sorry this is happening. He never meant to hurt you," I held her against my chest as I spoke.

"Then why won't he let me stay here?" Her words vibrated into my chest as her arms wrapped more tightly around me than before.

"You're his child. He cares about you, but he doesn't believe he can leave you behind – I think you could say he feels a responsibility for you as your father, and part of that responsibility is to take care of you until you become an adult."

"I am an adult," she murmured.

I chuckled as I replied, "Bella, parents never see their children as adults, not even after they graduate and move away from home."

"And you know this because?" She questioned

I laughed again as I said, "I hear people's thoughts." I figured that would be enough of an answer.

"Oh yeah, I guess that would give you the advantage." She said it with a shaky chuckle.

"Maybe we should go downstairs. Alice still has a gift for you, and Esme baked a cake specifically for your birthday," I suggested.

"Well, I guess I can, but don't ask me to be happy about this move. I'm not, and I never will be, and somehow, I'll find a way not to go with them when they move."

Without seeing her face, I knew she had that determined 'Bella look,' the one that said she would find a way to make things work out to her benefit. The problem was that just because she made up her mind to something didn't mean it always turned out her way. I believed that Bella inherited her stubbornness from her father, but I wouldn't tell her that because I knew it would just offend her.

I cannot say the rest of the evening went smoothly. In fact, a definite tension could be felt throughout the room, but no one brought up the subject of the upcoming transfer and move, which seemed to make the atmosphere even tenser because although everyone might have veered to other topics of discussion, their minds were actively still dwelling on the upcoming loss. For her part, Bella said remarkably little, and her kitten stayed curled up in her lap as if it had sensed that Bella had some a problem. Her father had no clue it wasn't hers because when he saw it, she informed him the kitten was Emmett's, and that simple comment caused the only genuine laughter that entire evening.

When the time came, Joanne helped Esme cut and distribute pieces of cake. As Joanne handed a plate to Emmett, he declined, saying, "I have to be careful of sugar. Carlisle assures me that it is bad for my heart condition." Having a 'heart condition' was also the excuse given as to why Emmett didn't play sports and couldn't join the military.

"You seem extremely healthy for someone with a heart condition," Bella's father pointed out.

"I have a good doctor who keeps me on a very strict diet," Emmett chuckled, and then I noticed his quick wink at Bella, all unobserved by Bella's parents.

As Joanne passed the plate to Rose, Emmett added, "Rose avoids sweets. She's watching her figure."

Bella's father seemed easy to hear that evening more so than ever before. I distinctly heard, 'All the boys at school are probably watching her figure as well.' He was extremely close to the truth, but I didn't tell him that. At school, any time Emmett wasn't paying attention to them, the boys at school were staring at Rose's body, and then wondering if they had any chance with her. That happened more often during the current school year because Emmett had graduated the previous spring. At one time, I found their juvenile thoughts amusing; then I heard boys thinking the same thoughts about Bella, and I no longer found them funny.

Alice was the first to accept the plate with cake on it. "I love sweet things," she declared, lightly adding, "I especially like frosting."

She then filled her fork with a large serving of frosting and slowly moved it to her mouth. From there, the fork quickly disappeared, first into her mouth and then somewhere else. Even as I watched, I suspected the fork went into her mouth but came out again with the frosting still on it, which she probably hid in a napkin before the fork reentered her mouth, and then was slowly withdrawn, making it appear as if she had deposited the frosting in her mouth.

"Yumm," she crooned as she pretended to eat the frosting. Once she finished pretending, she said, "This is delicious, Esme. I love it."

"You won't love it when it ends up on your hips," Rose chuckled as she watched Alice's performance.

After everyone – who did eat their cake – had finished eating, Joanne helped Esme collect the dishes and transport them to the kitchen. They spent some time alone there washing up and talking quietly. It didn't take much to tune into what they were saying. It seemed Bella's mother was just as distressed about the upcoming move as Bella was, and she had suggested that Bella and she stay behind so Bella could finish the school year, but Richard vetoed that idea. It had something to do with the fact that he had already sold the house to the person who was replacing him as the next recruiter in town. He also said that he would not leave his family behind, and it wasn't appropriate for them not to move with him.

If anyone could help find a way for Bella to stay in Tacoma, it would be her mother, but I didn't think Bella's father would be convinced easily that leaving Bella with someone else, even for the five months it would take her to finish her junior year, was an acceptable idea. I was confident of one thing, I would not lose her despite anything her father did; she was mine, and I was determined to keep her no matter what the cost.

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**10-08-2011/11:29pm  
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**AN: I see there is already one hit from the US and one from the UK - I would love to hear from both of you. Thanks for being the first. 10/13/11 - Correction made to this chapter. Thank you Siriusmunchkin for pointing it out.  
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	67. Chapter 67 Watching

**AN: I profess no claim to Bella and the Cullen family. With that said, I do hope you will enjoy this newest chapter.**

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**Journal**** Entry**** Fifty**** – ****Watching****[1959]**

Bella was adamant about not moving, but her father's plans included her moving with them to Montana. He refused her permission to stay with my family, even though she would only have remained with us until the end of the school year, and he refused to allow his wife to stay behind with her. 'They were a family' he claimed, 'and families stayed together.' He did apologize to Bella about the move, but he stood behind his superiors' decision about the transfer. I reassured Bella that Great Fall, Montana, was not that far away, only a twelve-hour drive for humans. I tried to cheer her up by pointing out that it could have been worse; her father could have been transferred to somewhere on the east coast.

Bella refused to be cheered up. She spent most of her time petting and talking to her kitten while she was at our house. She even began to avoid me at times, and tear streaks seemed a permanent part of her facial makeup. The impending move had one advantage; Bella's father felt guilty about Bella losing her best friend – Alice – and allowed Bella to spend every weekend at our house, but Bella seemed to distance herself from everyone in the family except Carlisle. She would talk to him more openly about her fears and worries than she would with me; the redeeming factor was that Carlisle would keep me abreast of all of Bella's apprehensions. Her greatest apprehension was losing an entire family and never seeing any of us once she moved. In addition, she wanted to take her kitten – she told her father that Emmett was giving her the kitten as a going away present, but her father forbade it claiming the kitten was safer with Emmett than with her. I wanted to speak to her about her father's comment, which she had only revealed to Carlisle, because I knew it deeply wounded her, but she changed the subject anytime I brought up the issue. I felt as if she were unwilling to receive any help or reassurance from me during her time of need.

After admitting that I knew about her father's comment, Carlisle warned me to monitor more carefully what I said to Bella because she needed someone she could speak freely to about her fears, and if she felt she could trust him with her confidences, she would stop confiding in him. What none of us knew at that time was that she was also seeking Aleksey's help with her worries, as well.

Her nights affected her worst. Nightmares became a routine event, and they grew progressively worse as the weeks wore on; by November, she was attempting to walk in her sleep, and many nights I would have to muffle her screams with my hand. I took extreme care not to harm her every time I placed my hand over her mouth, or held her back from walking out of whatever bedroom she was sleeping in.

Her worst night, up to that point, was at the end of October. It was Halloween night, and the night of the second full moon. Bella woke up screaming that something was physically ripping her apart, and all I could do was lift her up, hold her against my chest, and whisper reassuring words into her ear. She woke up sobbing.

"Please, Bella," I softly implored, "talk to me."

"He's going to tear us apart. He's ripping out my heart," she sobbed into my chest as she clutched me tightly. "He's unintentionally going to kill me."

"Who, Bella? Who is going to do this to you?"

"My father," her sobs intensified. "He'll find a way to keep us apart. He'll . . . stop us . . . from seeing . . . each other, and he'll . . . try . . . to find a way . . . to turn us . . . away from each other," she uttered brokenly through her sobs. "He'll destroy . . . both our lives . . . just so . . . he can be . . . happy . . . with what he thinks . . . is keeping me safe." She took a breath between speaking and sobbing before finishing with, "He'll kill me . . . believing . . . he is helping me."

"I won't let him, Bella. I love you. I won't allow anyone to come between us." I spoke each word, each statement, from my heart. I couldn't lose her; I wouldn't lose her.

"But what if he finds a way?" Her sobs began to diminish slightly, but I could still feel her tears soaking through my shirt.

I pulled her away from me so I could look in her eyes. Once I made her eyes focus on mine, I declared, "Bella, we will find a way. No matter how far away he takes you, I will follow. Even if I have to leave my family and buy the house next door to you, I . . . no, 'WE' will not allow anyone to separate us." I wanted her to know, and believe, that together we could overcome this situation.

"I trust you, Edward. I'm putting all my trust in you; so don't let me down. Whatever happens, be there for me before I fall apart." I saw the confidence and hope in her eyes, and I silently promised myself that I wouldn't fail her.

"I will always be there for you, Bella. I love you too much to lose you. My entire existence depends on you," I confessed.

"And my life depends on you," she murmured, reminding me of how intertwined our lives had become. She was right; her life depended on me as much as my existence depended on her. I never realized how truelove bound two people so tightly together, but I didn't feel suffocated, trapped, or imprisoned. Instead, I felt free and ecstatically peaceful knowing that fate meant for us to spend eternity together.

I helped her lie back down saying, "Sleep now, Bella. You need your rest."

In order to help Bella obtain some uninterrupted sleep, I began to have Jasper come into our room whenever Bella spent the night. He used his unusual skill to help Bella relax, and he was able to calm her when the nightmares began. If it had been possible, I would have brought him along to Bella's house every night so she could have obtained a more peaceful sleep while at home too.

During the second week of November, Carlisle called a family meeting to discuss what options we could take to help Bella pull through her depression. Her sleep had become more troubled, the nightmares had continued, and the sleepwalking reoccurred every night. If zombies did exist, then Bella could have passed as one. She went through the motions of living, but she did it all by rote memory. It was as if no life remained in her.

"You could change her," Jasper suggested. He was the first to offer a suggestion; he had been thinking about that option for the past two weeks. "At least she would officially become a member of our family even if she moved to Montana with her biological family."

"She's still only 17." Still too young, I thought.

"And so are you, Edward. She would be fine, and she already knows what to expect with her change. I think she would handle the change extremely well. Besides, it would give her the connection she needs to know that we will not abandon her." Jasper would suggest the most practical solution, but I still worried about her age.

"I think that is a little extreme," I finally replied.

"Marry her then," Emmett immediately offered. I could not only see his smile but heard that he had been waiting to recommend this option.

"What would that accomplish?" I wondered why he would suggest something so mundane; usually Emmett made suggestions that were more outrageous, this one truly had some merit while still being impractical.

"First, it would let her know that you will never let her go, and second, it gives her a legal hold on you, as well as your legal hold on her." For someone who could be relatively dense and shallow at times, Emmett did offer a viable suggestion. "Besides, marrying her means you could wait to turn her because she would already be yours." Emmett didn't need to share verbally his determination to keep his sister because it was at the forefront of his mind.

"She's not property, Emmett." I reminded him. "But it is an option." I could at least admit to my family and myself that it was an option I liked, and much more feasible than changing her.

"What about her age?" Esme reminded us.

"Jasper can forge anything they need, and if they go to Reno, they won't need much. I looked into it over the summer," Emmett informed us. "All she needs is a birth certificate and a notarized signature from a parent saying she can be married."

"I can supply that easily," Jasper offered.

"What do you see?" I asked Alice. She had been unusually quiet through all of the discussion.

"It keeps shifting. There are patches that are hazy, and then only fragments of options. The only tangible vision I can hold on to is an image of a turned Bella with a wedding ring." Alice put her head in her hands as she added, "This is so frustrating. I feel as if something is hindering a clear picture of the options you mentioned. I don't know if it is because Bella is not making a decision or if something else is happening to interfere with a clear picture." I watched as fragments of images flashed through her mind, but she was right, nothing was clear except the vision of Bella after being changed. If Alice's vision truly represented how Bella would appear afterward, then my wife would resemble the angel I always envisioned her.

"Besides changing her and marrying her, does anyone have any other options?" Carlisle brought us all back to the topic at hand.

"I told her that if no other solution was presented, I was going to move to Great Falls and buy a house next door to her," I admitted.

"A little dramatic," Rose stated, "but if it were Emmett and I facing this situation, I would be more than pleased to know that he loved me enough to leave his family and follow me wherever I was moved to. It shows how much you love and need her." Everyone was quiet while Rose spoke, and silently, I heard surprise from everyone about Rose choosing to take part in a discussion concerning Bella.

After she stopped speaking, the silence remained until she finally said, "What? Do you think I'm wrong?"

Esme was the first to speak, "No, it's not that Rose. It's the fact that you are willing to take part in this discussion about Bella."

"Well, Bella is not the only one suffering." She looked directly at me. "I can see how difficult this is for Edward, and as my brother, I am concerned about him, as well. Besides, one should never discard truelove like a used hanky. It's meant to be treasured and held on to, and sometimes you have to hold on with both hands so it does not get away."

"Is that what you did when you rescued me from those bears?" Emmett asked as he smiled at her.

"Well, I had to kill the bears first, but once I had you in my arms, I wasn't willing to lose you especially to death. I never felt love like that for anyone before, and once it touched my heart, I knew I could not lose it. It was just too precious." She smiled at him, and I could see the love on both of their faces. I wondered if Bella and I looked like that when we were sharing a momentous moment.

"So, we have three possible options," Carlisle began before Emmett interrupted.

"Four, Edward could always kidnap her and take her up to Canada. The cabin is nicely secluded, and no one would ever find them there. They can come back after Bella turns eighteen." He smiled smugly at the fact that he had offered two suggestions rather than one.

He was ready to pat himself on the back until Carlisle said, "I don't think so. We want to avoid having the law brought into this. At least with the other three options, we will not technically have broken the law."

"Marrying her with forged papers isn't illegal?" After asking, I waited for someone to come up with a logical answer.

"If no one discovers the forgery, then it will not become a legal issue. Besides, I've been forging papers almost as long as I have been a member of this family," Jasper replied. "And I must add that I have never been caught."

"Okay, three plausible options," I agreed, "but which one do we utilize?"

"Maybe we should ask Bella," Esme offered.

"No, it might not be a good idea to tell Bella that Edward will marry her, but it won't be legal," Alice stated. "Whichever option we choose, I think it is best if Bella does not know we planned any of this out. Bella would rather have you present it as if it were your solution to the problem the two of you are facing," she said directly to me, and she was correct. Knowing Bella, she would want this choice to come directly from me; she was counting on me to provide a solution to the problem her father had created, and I wasn't about to let her down.

Moving had been my idea, but I wasn't sure how Bella's father would feel knowing I had followed her. Buying my own house and living on my own wouldn't be a problem because I had turned eighteen that previous August, but with Bella still under age, her father might try to find legal ways to keep us apart.

Marriage, as an option, was a delightful idea, and I certainly preferred it to changing Bella. Besides, if I changed her, I wouldn't want her leaving without someone who could monitor her movements just in case something happened. The first year could be a challenge for a newly turned vampire. The family finally decided to wait another month before making any permanent decision, and I could not help but wonder what Aleksey thought about Bella's upcoming move.

The one resolution we all agreed upon was to watch Bella's movements, and that I would not leave her side at night.

November days glided past akin to a helium balloon let loose in a gusty breeze. I felt as if fate were purloining my time with Bella as I painstakingly counted down the days that remained.

The Monday morning prior to Thanksgiving, Alice stopped me before I left to pick Bella up for school. I maintained my normal routine of leaving Bella's house as soon as she woke up, so I could run home, change clothes, and then arrive at her door in time to take her to school.

"Is it important Alice?" I asked since I wanted to see Bella as soon as possible.

"Yes," she began hesitantly, and I could sense her uncertainty about what she was going to share. She was running through a number of previous visions about Bella, but they all held a murky film over them making it difficult to determine exactly what was occurring. "I have a feeling that Bella is in danger, but as you probably saw, the visions I'm having give little to no information. Despite the lack of sight, I still feel as if there is something or someone . . . well, I don't know if I would call it watching or shadowing Bella, but whoever he is, he is waiting for the right time to move against her." I needed information that was more concrete, but Alice kept speaking not allowing me to say anything. "I can't give you anything helpful. The visions are useless because of the vagueness," she huffed in discouragement. "It's as if someone or something is blocking them, and that has never happened before."

"I haven't seen anyone watching her, and I haven't heard any thoughts about harming Bella, so I'm not sure if vague visions are enough to form any solid opinions," I informed her. I would be the first to act in defense of Bella if I know what to protect her from, but vague visions and feelings were not helpful.

"I asked Jasper to patrol the area around the school to uncover anyone with hostile or malicious feelings, but all he has discovered is that Ashton Baker's girlfriend has been feeling jealous about something all week long. Then on Friday, her hostility level peaked because she found out her boyfriend has been cheating on her with her best friend Melissa. Other than that, he hasn't discovered anything else – yet. He is going to stay around the school the rest of this week, and then Bella will be at our house for the holiday break." She smiled as she informed me of the last piece of information, and then added, "I just saw that this morning. It seems Bella's parents are going to Great Falls during the break to look for a house, and Bella will refuse to accompany them."

"I see that not all of your visions have stopped working." That bit of information did cheer me up, and that was Alice's purpose in sharing it with me.

"No, this one was remarkably clear. No fog, no hazy, no interference of any kind," she replied smugly. Alice turned to leave but shot over her shoulder, "Oh, don't tell Bella about the trip to Great Falls. She doesn't know about it yet, and if she is prepared for her parents to drop that on her, they might wonder why she wasn't more surprised." As she walked away, she silently added, 'She can't tell them that I saw it in a vision,' and she was right about that. Although, I suspected it would not surprise her mother much, but then I had no evidence that Mrs. Swan knew some other secrets about us besides our vampiric state – that was something else she had never voiced to Aleksey or us.

I broke a few speed limits to reach Bella's house so I wouldn't be late picking her up. She was anxious enough about the impending separation, and I didn't want to add to her stress by being late to pick her up for school.

Monday became one of those excruciatingly slow days, and our class schedules separated us until lunch. Our three shared classes occurred at the end of the school day with physical education, thankfully, scheduled during the last hour of school. I had intended to accompany Bella to her locker and then to lunch, but Mr. Jordan, our government teacher, had kept us after the bell to finish detailing an assignment that would be due just before Christmas. As I rounded the corner near Bella's locker, I saw her staring in shock at something in her hand, and as soon as I approached her, Alice careened around the corner nearly colliding with me.

"Edward," her voice told me that whatever Bella had found was not pleasant, "speak softly to her. Don't startle her," she warned, as if I hadn't already figured that out on my own.

"Bella, honey," I said softly as I approached her.

She turned her glazed and panicked look in my direction, and without saying a word, she held the paper in her hand toward me.

The paper contained one word in capitalized letters – DIE. There was nothing else written on the paper, and then I noticed an envelope on the floor at Bella's feet. I bent and retrieved it hoping there would be some indication as to the perpetrator, but only Bella's name appeared on the envelope. The person had also printed her name in capitalized letters.

I reached out and extremely slowly pulled Bella into my arms and held her, and as I did, she began to cry; the only word she uttered was, "Why?"

"Alice, bring the car around, we need to take Bella home," I whispered softly. Alice disappeared quickly; I slowly ushered Bella out of the school to meet Alice with my car at the front of the school building. I had already decided I would have Carlisle call the school to excuse the three of us. I knew he would find a creative way to explain why we had to leave school early.

As soon as we arrived home, I warily carried Bella up to our room and tucked her into bed telling her to sleep. I noticed her kitten had followed us up the stairs, and as soon as I laid her on the bed, the kitten jumped up and found a comfortable place to curl up next to her. As I left the room, I saw Bella absently petting the kitten.

"What happened?" Emmett asked as soon as I returned downstairs. I promptly showed him the note and envelope, and his first reaction, as mine had been, was to sniff both of the items. "Vinegar," he growled. "Was there any scent left behind?" He then asked.

"None," I replied. "Besides the smell of the vinegar, the only other scent I detected was leather. I'm guessing the person wore leather gloves to handle the envelope and open Bella's locker. Although, I'm not sure how the person was able to discover Bella's locker combination."

"Oh, come on, Edward, everyone at the school knows the secretary keeps the list posted behind the counter. All he had to do was wait until the secretary left her post and then find Bella's name on the list. Not much security around there," he added.

As Jasper walked into the living room to join us, he asked, "Could this have been a prank?"

"No," I replied as I turned to him. "If it had been a prank, the person would not have gone to the effort to hide their scent. And that is another intriguing point," I added. "Who would know that we could track him through his scent?"

"I called the school, and all three of you are now officially excused," Esme informed us as she joined us. "Did any of you tell Rose you were leaving?"

"No," Alice admitted guiltily; then she turned to Emmett and added, "Maybe you should go pick her up after school."

"No problem," he smiled broadly, and I was unfortunate enough to catch a hint of his plans for Rose as soon as he picked her up. I quickly veered away from his thoughts.

"How is Bella handling this?" Esme asked; her concern was abundantly evident on her face.

"I left her lying down in our bed, and Emmie was with her." I smiled as the vision of the two snuggled together returned. For such a tiny little thing, that the kitten had a way of helping calm Bella.

"So, what are we going to do about this . . ." Jasper paused as he pointed to the paper Emmett still held in his hand and then continued, "for lack of a better word for now – threat?"

"We'll watch," Emmett declared. "You and I," he indicated Jasper, "We monitor the outside of school specifically looking for anyone who does not seem to belong, or that is wearing leather gloves."

"Emmett, it's winter, so there will be a lot of students, teachers, and staff wearing leather gloves," Jasper reminded him.

"Yeah, but we know most of them. We'll look for anyone who looks suspicious. Meanwhile, Edward, Alice, and Rose can watch Bella at school, and maybe this person will make a mistake, so we'll be able to catch him the next time he tries to threaten Bella."

"It doesn't sound like a bad idea," Jasper admitted.

"Yeah, I always wondered what it would be like to be a spy. Now I have my chance to find out," Emmett added gleefully.

"Well, while you work out the details," I informed them, "I'm going upstairs to see how Bella is."

Without any of them looking my way, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice grouped together making plans for protecting Bella and hunting down whoever thought they could threaten her.

Upon returning to our room, I found Bella asleep with Emmie curled up next to her. We had discovered that the kitten was a 'he,' which only proved my theory that most males seemed to fall in love with Bella, even Emmett and Jasper loved her; although, it was brotherly love rather than the romantic kind, but it still seemed to me as if males were unnaturally attracted to her. It still surprised me that she never had a boyfriend until me. I ended up curling up beside her and her kitten, and since Bella had moved into the center of the bed, I was able to lie down behind her without thoroughly disturbing her or the kitten, but Bella did back up toward me after I settled and gave a little 'hmm' of delight at my presence.

Tuesday was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break, and Bella was thrilled to realize that she would ride home from school with Alice, Rose, and I and spend the break with us. She had hated the family gathering her father had forced her to attend the year before, so she declared this would be a better holiday break. Because we didn't celebrate the holiday with a turkey and all the trimmings, I took Bella to a fancy French restaurant; Alice had booked a reservation as soon as she learned Bella would be staying with us during that time. It also helped that it was Thanksgiving Day because it was not a busy day for the restaurant.

Bella and I spent as much time cuddling, kissing, and talking as possible with her kitten as a constant companion. There had also been no more threatening notes, so I hoped we had seen the last of whoever had sent it, but I suspected the person was just waiting for school to resume.

The second threat occurred the day after we returned to school from Thanksgiving break.


	68. Chapter 68 Hunted

**AN: I don't lay claim to the Cullen family or Bella, but I can claim the other characters. We are fast approaching the end of this story. There are only five more chapters and an apalog. Wow, this has been along journey. I hope you will enjoy this chapter, and the next one will be posted by next weekend. A big thanks to alicefan32, Hyvanna, Siriusmunchkin, and lolvampirebookworm2000 who all took time to review and comment on the last chapter. You guys rock!**

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**Journal Entry Fifty-One – Hunted [December 1959]**

Tuesday morning, the day after returning to school from break, Bella found another note in her locker. I had been standing beside her as she opened it to retrieve her history book, and the paper fluttered to the floor. This one was not in an envelope. This note also carried a one-word threat – DIE. It became apparent that someone had been watching Bella, but we never saw the person, and Alice was unable to see any of the person's plans while was I could not hear his thoughts because he never seemed to think about Bella as he watched her. In addition, we could not pick up the person's scent because of the vinegar smell that permeated both notes. This note did not affect Bella like the first one did, but for the rest of the school day, either Jasper or Emmett stood guard outside whatever classroom she was in. It was easy enough for them to remain unseen by the administration or other staff, for they could quickly disappear whenever they heard someone approach, but unseen did not mean they could not see who came into the hallway near Bella's classroom. After every class, I met Bella at her classroom door and walked her to her next class, and both Alice and I hovered around her during lunch. Afternoon classes allowed me to remain next to her for the rest of the day.

The next inkling of a threat to Bella occurred early one morning as Bella awaited my arrival to pick her up for school. She had chosen to wait for me outside because of the tension inside the house because of her parents continual arguing. Bella's house had a small porch with a swing on it, and that was where she sat awaiting my arrival when she heard someone whisper, "Your death serves justice."

When I arrived at her house, I found Bella shaking on the swing.

"He was here, Edward," she trembled and sobbed as she spoke.

I didn't have to ask who for only one person would have her in near hysterics. "I'm taking you home," I told her as I ushered her to the car.

"Why is he doing this? What did I do to deserve this?" She muttered through deep sobs as I led her toward my car.

It would not have scared me if she were crying; she had a right to cry with someone menacing her in this manner, but her deep sobs – without tears – and near convulsive shaking scared me. I rushed her home and promptly contacted Carlisle for advice about what I could do. He wanted to administer a sedative, but I wanted something soothing that would not induce sleep. Sleep, for Bella, seemed only to produce nightmares lately, and besides that, I wanted to be able to hold and comfort her.

"Give her the Valerian," he said over the phone, "but only half a dose. I have already cut the tablets in half. A full dose will induce sleep, and make sure you don't give her the diazepam. She had a reaction to it the last time, and I'm sure you don't want to make a trip to the hospital."

I totally agreed with his last comment. We had not mentioned either of the notes to Bella's parents, but with this threat, I knew it was time to inform Aleksey of what had occurred. After hanging up the phone, I left Bella sitting on the sofa with Jasper with the reassurance that I would return promptly, which I did with a glass of water and the Valerian.

"Please, take this, Bella. Carlisle says it will help you." Her sobbing had stopped, but she still shook.

"Do the others know yet?" Jasper asked so fast and softly that I knew Bella hadn't heard him.

In like manner, I answered, "Not yet. I'm surprised Alice didn't see this before it happened, but I'm sure she will have seen something by now, and she'll find Rose and Emmett. I imagine they will be here soon." Then, in a volume Bella could hear, I said, "Bella, love, I'm going to leave you here with Jasper." She shook harder at my words, so I rushed to add, "I'm going to call Aleksey. He will need to know what is happening." She smiled slightly at that and nodded her head.

"Watch her," I said so low only Jasper could hear.

Aleksey arrived a few minutes after Rose, Alice, and Emmett, and then Carlisle came in only minutes later.

"Do you have any idea who is doing this?" Aleksey asked.

"No," I admitted. "Both notes carried only a strong vinegary odor, and Jasper went to Bella's house right after I called you, but he found nothing to indicate who might have been there. It's as if this person knows exactly what to do to hide his scent and thereby getting past our heightened senses. I don't hear anything from him, and Alice is unable to see what will happen."

"Do you think 'our friend'," Jasper sneered as he spoke the last two words, "might have anything to do with this? Even without his magic, he still knows about us, and he might have friends helping him."

"I had thought about that," Carlisle admitted. "I think it is time to make another call."

I looked at him seeking an answer to that comment.

"I agree," Aleksey added. "I'll make a second call right after you," he added. Then Carlisle left the room.

"Calling who?" Emmett asked, voicing the question that I heard from all my siblings.

"I imagine Carlisle will be calling Jerome, and I'll call Markus. They have their own unique, individual abilities, and I think they will be able to help us in ways that are best left unspecified. We all respect our privacy to some extent," and he looked directly at me as he said that. I just nodded to indicate that I understood.

"Uncle Peter," it was the first time Bella spoke since I brought her home, "will you stay for a bit. I'm going to miss you when we leave."

"And I you, malyutka. I am surprised your father is moving out of the state. He usually remains in Washington. It is unfortunate that the move wasn't to Spokane because it is closer, and I have many pleasant memories of that place because of you . . .." He broke off, but I heard what remained unsaid. He meant to say because of her and her mother, and I was surprised that I was able to hear it so clearly. I wondered if Bella understood how much he loved her mother.

For the first time that day, she laughed, although softly, "Do you remember the day I taught you how to make chocolate chip cookies?"

Aleksey laughed in response, "How could I forget. I was sure your mother would ban me from the house when she walked in and saw the disaster her kitchen was in, but I did keep my promise and cleaned the kitchen before I left."

"Yes, you did, and they were marvelous cookies despite the problems we had. I had watched mom as she made cookies so often that I was sure I could do it with only a little help." She laughed again making me feel better for her but jealous that they had memories that could make her laugh.

"Well, it might have helped if I had known what I was doing, but cooking of any kind was not a skill that I had even as a human, and that had been many centuries before I met you," he added with his own mirthful laugh.

"Thank you, Uncle Peter," her voice became more serious.

"For what, malyutka?" He gazed questioningly at her.

"For making me laugh. This last month has been extremely stressful and depressing," she squeezed my hand as she spoke. "I don't know how I'm going to survive without Edward until summer." She gazed at me then as she continued, "He has promised to visit every weekend, and then he is going to move to Great Falls this summer." I watched as she tried to smile about that fact as if she was happy, but her voice told an entirely different story, "but I'll have to contend with the time in-between on my own. It will be so lonely because I'm not only losing Edward but also losing Alice and Emmett as well," she looked over at them as she said their names.

"Everything will work out, malyutka," Aleksey said while patting her hand. "I think I'll go make that telephone call now," and then he walked out of the room.

As soon as Aleksey left, Emmett suggested, "I could move there and keep you company while Edward's gone."

"What about Rose?" Bella asked. "She just started her vocational class, and I doubt she would want to be separated from you?" Bella reached out and touched his hand; he had been sitting next to her on the sofa with Rose on the other side of him.

I was thankful of the sectional sofa Esme had purchased the year after we moved into the big house. The large sofa had a curved section that allowed six people to sit comfortably on it, and on that day, all my siblings had sat there with Bella and I; something about the solidarity of the family seemed to help Bella's fears, and Jasper's nearness helped keep her calmer, as well.

Bella leaned up against me as she smiled at Emmett and then me. "That is the nicest thing you could offer, Emmett, but please, don't make Rose leave now that she has been allowed into the one class she truly wants."

"That's nice, Bella," Rose replied, "but I'll go wherever Emmett wants to go."

I could hear Rose thinking that she would never stop Emmett from protecting his little sister. She knew Carlisle had not allowed him to watch over his biological sister, so trying to stop him from helping Bella would hurt him more than having to give up her mechanics class.

"You would do that for Bella?" Emmett asked.

"I would do it for you," she replied with a slight smile.

"No, I won't allow you to give up something so special to you." Bella confirmed what I had expected her to say. I didn't need to hear her thoughts because I knew allowing Rose to make such a sacrifice went against Bella's empathetic nature.

"Bella, it is only a class," Emmett replied.

"No, Emmett, it isn't." She paused briefly before she continued. "Well, maybe to you that is just a class, but to Rose it is an acknowledgement by other males that she is talented with her hands, can do something only men have been allowed to do, and is more than just a pretty face." She stopped to look at Emmett before she finally asked, "Do you understand how much this truly means to her?"

Emmett chuckled, "I guess I never looked at it that way before, and you are right," Emmett reached for Rose's hand before he continued, "She is more than a beautiful face. She is an extremely gifted mechanic."

"Thanks, Emmett," Rose replied as she hit him in the arm with her balled up fist.

"Ouch," he yelled. "What was that for?"

"For embarrassing me in front of everyone," she had a broad smile on her face showing him and us that she was funning with him.

"I do thank you, though, for the offer, Emmett," Bella finally said, "but it would be easier for me if I could just stay here."

"Well, here doesn't seem very safe at the moment," Jasper reminded all of us.

"Safer here than some place where we are not able to protect her," Emmett interjected.

I felt Bella cringe at the reminder of why we were all missing school.

"Everything is okay, Bella," I whispered to her. "We won't allow anyone to hurt you."

"Maybe it would be better . . ." she began and abruptly stopped.

"Better if what, Bella?" I asked, but I had a strong feeling about what she hadn't said.

She stared up at me, took a deep breath, and then said, "Better if I would never have met you, then it would not hurt you if I got killed." She said the last half of the sentence so softly that a human would not have heard her words.

I pulled her closer with one arm while I used the other to lift her chin so I could look into her liquid brown pools. "Don't you ever say that again. You are not going to die. I will not allow it."

"Edward is correct, Bella," Carlisle said as he walked into the room with Aleksey at his side. I released Bella's chin as she turned her head to watch them. "There isn't anyone in this room who will allow such a thing to happen." Silently, Carlisle informed me help was coming.

Aleksey rushed over and knelt down in front of Bella. "Malyutka, we will all protect you. Your future sits right beside you. His love for you is the purist thing on this planet, and it is not something to waste. Don't wish for something that was never meant to be. The two of you were meant to be together. It was fated, so never forget that." He smiled at her as he put his hand under her chin. "Now, let me see that beautiful smile of yours."

She did smile back at him, but even though her eyes were on him, I could see the sadness they still held.

No one spoke after that. The others in the room systematically listed in their minds possible people who might want to harm Bella, but by the time they had completed their mental lists, the fairy prince seemed to top everyone's list. The problem was, and they all knew it, he had no powers left, so how he had been able to remain invisible left remarkably few probable answers.

The silence became somewhat stifling to me because of the underlying noise of everyone's thoughts, so I took Bella up to my room where we laid on the bed, cuddled, and quietly talked. I told her about my plans for the following summer, and I suggested that she should help me choose a place to live in Great Falls and select courses for my first year of college. Since I had already started on a medical degree twice, I had decided to choose something different.

Bella had her own opinions about what I should major in, but when I explained how I primarily based my decision on a way to help Esme with her interests, Bella then agreed that architecture would be an excellent choice. I also thought some of the classes would be easy allowing me more time to spend helping Bella graduate from high school.

We also picked a date for our wedding, which I knew Alice would begin planning right away. Bella said she would enjoy a small, quiet wedding, but that her mother had envisioned something much more lavish than that. She wanted her father to give her away, but she also wished Aleksey could give her away. She admitted that there were times when, as a child, she wished that Aleksey had been her father, but as she said it, I heard the underlying guilt she felt about choosing someone else as her father.

Bella also shared her regret that she would not be able to take Emmie along when she moved, and how much she would miss the little kitten, although he was growing rapidly. Emmett had already taken the kitten to the vet for his first examination and shots and planned to take it in again at the end of January for de-clawing – a requirement by Esme in order to keep the kitten in the house. We all decided it would be best for his health in the long run especially living so near the woods.

After school had let out, Alice called Bella's mother asking if Bella could spend the night giving the need to study for a major exam the next day as an excuse to keep Bella with us. Jerome and Markus said they would arrive after dark, and that we all needed to be present when they arrived. Aleksey quietly left the house, and I suspected he would pay Joanne a visit to explain the need to keep Bella under surveillance; however, I wasn't sure how she would persuade Bella's father to allow Bella to spend an extended amount of time at our house.

It turned out not to be a problem when, near dark, Aleksey showed up and informed us that Bella's father had gone to Great Falls for the remainder of the week; her mother said it had something to do with his new job and meetings that he needed to attend. Joanne had told Aleksey that Bella was welcome to stay with us as long as needed, and Aleksey reassured Bella, after Bella voiced a concern for her mother's welfare, that he would watch over her mother just in case someone still lurked around Bella's house.

Jerome and Markus arrived at the house around nine-thirty, and then the planning began.

"I think whoever is leaving the notes and voicing threats is human," Jerome stated.

"I'm in agreement," Markus added.

"Any one reason why?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," Jerome stated firmly. "Although the person has covered his scent with chemicals on the letter and envelope, he hadn't seemed to need to hide his scent when he was at Bella's house, but he still didn't leave a scent. Now, I didn't detect any magical residue, but an abnormal air surrounded the location where he stood almost as if a spell had cloaked him. I think Aleksey and the rest of you are right in suspecting the young prince to be involved, but I don't think he is the one directly making the threats."

"We do think he may have found a human to carry out his revenge on young Bella," Markus added, causing Jasper, Emmett, and I to growl deeply. Any threat to Bella we saw as a threat to our entire family. "Calm down," Markus counseled. "There is no need to be rash at this point. I think we need to plan our next move to trap the human element in his plot. Once we have done that, it will be much easier to track him down."

"I take it that you already have a plan," Aleksey smiled.

His thoughts were a little clearer for the time being, and he was sharing his confidence in Jerome and Markus with me. Jerome and Markus were both blank slates to me; obviously, they had a way of keeping their thoughts safeguarded from me.

"What do you have in mind?" Carlisle asked.

"We will need Bella's help for this to work, and Aleksey will need to keep Bella's mother away from her house tomorrow night," Jerome explained.

"It needs to look as if Bella is home alone," Markus added, and before I could voice my discontent, he held up a hand to silence me and continued. "She will not be alone, but it must look that way. We will find a way for you, Edward, to enter unobserved into the house, and you must remain unseen but as close to her as possible. The rest of us will position ourselves around the outside of the house, but we must all remain unseen. Something, I think, all of you excel at when the need arises."

'He has confidence in our skills,' Carlisle thought toward me. I could tell it was his way of helping me to remain calm, which was not how I felt knowing they wanted to use Bella as bait.

"Are you sure this will work?" I asked, voicing the opinions of my siblings, but I directed my eyes on Alice to discover what she might have seen.

She nodded ever so slightly at my comment.

"What did you see, young Alice?" Jerome asked. Alice stared at him in surprise. "Does it truly surprise you that we know of your skill?" He asked, looking toward her, but I knew he had directed the question toward all of us. "I can assure you that your secrets are safe with Markus and me, but it does help if at least one of the members of the Protectors has the skill to discern the special abilities of others." He didn't out rightly admit that was his unique ability, but I suspected that it was.

"I see Bella safe after tomorrow night, but I cannot see exactly what will happen. It is as if a barrier covers the events in a thick fog," she admitted to all of us.

"I suspect that also has something to do with the young prince, but not through his own powers or skills. It is highly possible that he has convinced someone, besides the human, to help him, thereby giving him a moderate edge, but this other's power is weak, and in the end, we will win," Markus declared confidently.

The discussion of who would do what, when, and where carried on late into the night, but near midnight, I excused Bella and myself to escort her up to our room to sleep. She had already been dozing off on my shoulder, and we would need to attend school the next day to make the person hunting Bella think everything was normal. Besides, I didn't want Bella falling asleep in class. The semester was nearing the end, and the teachers all had finals planned for the last week of school. One of the benefits of hearing minds was the fact that I knew exactly which teachers would require us to take finals, and every one of Bella's teachers had a final scheduled with the exception of the art teacher. For that class, we had final projects due, and I knew Bella was still struggling with hers, but she wouldn't tell or show me what manner of project she was working on.

I spent the night cradling Bella in my arms, soothing her when she whimpered or cried out in her sleep, and held her closer to me the one time she tried to get out of bed. She had murmured something about needing to go after him before it was too late, but I shushed her by promising her I was right beside her and did not plan to leave her side. That seemed to keep her in the bed but did nothing for the reoccurring murmurs about 'being left behind.'

I was surprised when she finally woke up in the morning seeming to be more refreshed than the day before. The day itself was overcast and looked as if it was promising precipitation in some form.

Flitting into the room, Alice informed us that Bella needed to bundle up warmly because it would begin snowing before noon, and Alice was never wrong when it came to predicting the weather.

The day had gone slower than usual for me, and I suspected that Bella felt the same because during lunch, she asked, "Is the day almost over?" I heard Alice laugh lightly at the comment, and Rose only shook her head disapprovingly at Alice's mirth. I wanted that day to be over quickly so Bella and I could spend quality time together before she moved. I didn't want her to feel threatened by anyone anymore. It was unfortunate enough that she was facing a move that she saw as life threatening; she didn't need any additional threats on her life.

That evening, I waited in Bella's closet, so whoever wanted to harm her would not see me. Bella had walked past her window a few times so the person could see that Bella was in her room, and earlier in the evening, if the person had been watching, he would have seen Bella's mother leave with Aleksey.

Since I did not measure time in the same way many humans did, I could only guess that an hour had passed. Bella and I kept our conversation focused on classes because it seemed less stressful for her to ramble on about mundane topics. Although, she did express her concern for her unfinished art project but still would not tell me about the project's content. After that first hour, I doubted the person would show up, and Bella finally turned off her overhead light leaving only the lamp on her bedside table lit. A few minutes later, I heard her parent's window opening. Just like Bella's window, when I had first opened it, there was a slight squeaking noise, but not one that Bella heard, for I had to warn her to remain quiet.

Moment's later, a slight figure came through Bella's bedroom door, and Bella gave a slight gasp.

"It won't pay for you to scream." I was surprised to hear a female voice. All that time, I had expected the person to be male. "I know you are in the house alone, so no one will be able to help you."

"What do you want?" Bella's voice had a slight edge to it, and if I was reading it correctly, she was trying to hold back her fear.

"You, revenge, to make your father pay for what he did," she retorted angrily.

"My father?" Bella questioned.

"Yes, you see your father killed my brother," was the reply.

I heard Bella gasp again, and through the small gap in the door, I watched her back away from the girl.

"I suppose he never told you about my brother," she began, but Bella returned no reply. "Why would he tell you about someone so insignificant to him. I bet he sends boys to their death every day." Her voice was low, and if humans could growl as they spoke, she probably would have.

"How did he die?" Bella's voiced trembled slightly.

"They wouldn't tell us much, just that he died overseas while on maneuvers, but if it hadn't been for your father, Teddy would have been attending college." Her voice turned slightly wistful as she mentioned her brother. "He wanted to be a doctor, but my parent's could not afford medical school tuition, so your father convinced him to enlist and after his term, the government would pay for his schooling. They sent him home in a box, sealed because they said his injuries were too severe for an open casket."

"How is that my father's fault?" Bella kept her talking, and I hoped we would find out from the girl who had helped her track Bella.

"If he hadn't made the military sound like such a good idea, my brother would never have enlisted. He would have started college, and my parents would have found a way to help with his medical school tuition, but no, your father saw his chance and conned my brother into enlisting."

"I'm truly sorry for your loss." Bella's sincerity was obvious in her voice. "I don't have a real brother, just one that adopted me as his sister, but I know how I would feel if I lost him. I'd feel a void where he belonged," Bella consoled.

Bella then reached out a hand to her, but instead of taking Bella's hand, the girl moved toward her in such a way that I thought she had hit Bella's arm away and then two things happened at once. The scent of Bella's blood intensified, and the girl said, "Then you'll understand how your father will feel when he finds out you're dead." The girl then broke out in the maniacal laughter that one associates with people who have lost touch with reality.

Everything moved quickly, even from my perspective, from that point on.


	69. Chapter 69 Last Resolve

**AN: Once again, I don't own Bella or the Cullen Family. I do own Aleksey, he is mine, and you can't have him. Too bad I can't say that for Emmett, as well. Hope everyone will enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**Journal Entry Fifty-Two – Last Resolve (December 1959)**

As I said, everything happened quickly after I smelled Bella's blood, and the strange girl laughed as one who had lost touch with reality. My first concern was the blood flowing from Bella's arm, and as I tended her injury, I saw Jasper, Jerome, and Markus enter the room through her window while Emmett, followed by Carlisle and Aleksey, came through her bedroom door. Carlisle immediately rushed to Bella's side and ordered me to grab a towel from the bathroom.

I was glad to see Carlisle had brought his bag with him on the off chance something would happen to Bella. No one could have known that the girl had held a razor blade in her hand, and as Bella reached toward her, the girl used the blade to slash Bella's arm. When I returned with the towel, Carlisle commented that the girl had just missed the artery but that Bella would need stitches. Jerome and Markus took charge of the girl, and we all returned to our house, along with the girl. Either Jerome or Markus did something to her while I was out of the room because she made no sounds as we led her back to our house.

Alice and Esme prepared Carlisle's medical supplies in the kitchen, so he was able to clean and stitch up Bella's wound the minute we arrived back at the house. The rest of the family, along with Aleksey, Markus, and Jerome, adjourned to the living room to question the girl. We were only certain of one fact; she had been after Bella as a way to get revenge on Bella's father.

Carlisle administered a mild anesthetic near Bella's wound to help reduce the pain as he began to stitch the cut. The cut was at least three inches long, and it took sixteen stitches to close up the wound. The entire time I held Bella on my lap while Carlisle sat opposite us and tended to her injury. Alice and Esme both stayed to pass Carlisle any materials he needed and to wipe away the blood that was still slightly flowing from her wound.

When Carlisle began working, I whispered softly to Bella that everything would be fine, and listened to the questioning taking place in the living room. I heard Emmett growl frequently, I could tell Jasper spent his time calming Emmett down, and I heard Jerome and Aleksey asking most of the questions. By the time they had finished, we had all learned that the girl didn't know the person's name that helped her, but her description of him matched the Fae prince perfectly. She claimed she saw no other person with him, and had anyone asked me, I could have told them that she was telling the truth. Besides the prince, she saw no one else. Her only other helpful information was the fact that she always met the prince in the woods, just south of town. She was to meet him that night after she had fulfilled her revenge by killing Bella.

While I listened to the questioning taking place in the living room, I also listened to Bella.

"She's wrong, you know," she stated quietly.

"Wrong about what?" Carlisle asked.

Bella smiled slightly but then winced, as she must have felt the movement of the needle in her arm. "About my dad, she was wrong about him because he doesn't coerce anyone into joining."

"I'm sure he doesn't," I agreed with her.

Carlisle, however, asked, "How do you know that?" For me, he added, 'Keep her talking, it'll take her mind off what I'm doing.' He did have a valid point.

"I asked him once how he could justify his actions of talking boys into joining the military. He said he never talked anyone into enlisting. Instead, he only gave them information, always advised the younger ones to talk to their parents, and encouraged them to think over their decision for a day before signing the papers."

"That sounds reasonable," I offered, still listening to the dual conversations taking place in the house.

"He also said that if someone is unsure of what they truly want to do after visiting with him, he would not allow them to enlist until they are very sure about their choice."

"If he is a recruiter, isn't it his job to convince them to enlist?" I asked. I knew what her father did, but I wondered about his motives.

"I asked him that, as well. Do you know what he said?" She looked directly at me.

"No because I can't hear your thoughts, and I wasn't there to hear his," I chuckled softly as she continued to focus her gaze on my face. My chuckle brought another slight smile to her face.

"Smart alack," she retorted and then continued. "He said that it was harmful to a platoon to have one member who was not sure why he had ever agreed to enlist, and even worse to have one who regretted ever enlisting. It was soldiers like that, he told me, who could endanger every man in the platoon." She paused as a sound came from the living room. I wasn't sure if she could identify it, but I knew it was Emmett growling at the comment about the prince helping the girl hunt down Bella. "So, you see," she finally continued, "I know my dad didn't coerce her brother into enlisting. If he enlisted, it was because he wanted to. I'm sorry he died, but that is not my dad's fault." She suddenly stopped speaking.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Something had caused her to stare off frightfully.

"He can't know, Edward. My dad can't know what happened." She focused back on me with a fearful gaze.

At the same time she spoke, Carlisle finished the stitches and Aleksey walked into the kitchen and for one of the first times, he allowed me to hear his unspoken thoughts extremely clearly. 'Keep Bella in the kitchen until I return. She doesn't need to see what happens next.' I wasn't sure exactly what he meant and had no time to ask because he focused on Bella as he spoke. "Bella," he took her uninjured hand, "Your father will not know the truth about what happened tonight," he looked at me for affirmation, and I nodded. "Now, I'm leaving for a bit." Bella stiffened at his comment, but he continued in the same calm tone. "I'm only going to pick up your mom. She has been extremely worried, and I'll bring her back here. Carlisle said the two of you could sleep here tonight, and I think that will be safer until this situation is entirely resolved."

"Thanks, Uncle Peter," Bella replied, seemingly somewhat relieved.

As he left, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper came into the kitchen.

"Bella, are you okay?" Emmett asked as he rushed to her side.

"Yes," she smiled at him, "and Edward restrained himself beautifully. He never once asked for a taste the entire time Carlisle stitched me up," she laughed lightly, and her comment caused Emmett to chuckle loudly.

"Only you would make a joke at a time like this," he retorted as soon as he could contain his laughter.

"Well, better humor than melancholy." Bella's reply caused everyone to laugh in varying degrees except for me.

Noticing my lack of a humorous response, Rose admonished, "Oh, come on, Edward, lighten up. If Bella can laugh at something like this after everything that has happened, her humor then is a healthy sign," as she wove her arm around and through Emmett's.

Bella turned to look me in the eyes. She tilted her head up slightly because, even sitting on my lap, I was almost a head taller than she was. "Thank you, Edward," she said just before she kissed me lightly on the lips.

It shocked me that she would be saying 'thank you,' considering I had not been quick enough to stop the injury. It also angered me that I missed seeing the razor blade hidden in the girl's hand. I should have been looking for a weapon of some type, and why, I could not help but ask myself, didn't Alice see that helpful piece of information.

As soon as her lips left mine, I asked, "Why are you thanking me? I should have stopped this from happening," and then looking at Alice, I added, "Had I been warned ahead of time about her nasty little weapon, I would have been ready for it."

"I didn't see any of it, Edward. All I saw was that Bella would be all right tomorrow, nothing else. That might have meant the girl never showed up, or it might have meant that Bella survived whatever would happen."

I would have argued with Alice except Bella explained, "I'm thanking you for staying with me while Carlisle put the stitches in. It helped to touch you while the needle was sliding into my skin." She lifted her uninjured hand and caressed my check, "And it truly helped me keep my focus on something other than watching him put in the stitches."

"You touched him?" Emmett asked loudly at the same time that Bella's mother said, "Is that her?"

"Edward, what am I going to tell her about my arm?" Bella whispered, but I heard the panic in her voice.

"The truth," Carlisle told her softly.

Aleksey must have nodded his head in response to Joanne's question because I heard no other response from either of them before they walked into the kitchen. As soon as Joanne entered, she asked, "So, just what did you touch, Bella?" I saw an impish smile playing around her lips as she spoke, and then I felt Bella's rising blush.

"Amazing," Emmett breathed. "With that amount of color, sis, this could be an interesting answer." Emmett continued to stand by our side as Bella's mother approached us.

"It's not what you think," Bella retorted, but not with much emphasis to her mom and Emmett. "I just . . . that is," she stammered, "well, you see, being able to . . . well . . . be near Edward helped refocus my thoughts on something other than Carlisle putting stitches in my arm," she finally finished with more clarity.

Bella's mother, now at our side, reached out to take Bella's wounded arm and held it up. "What happened?" She demanded but turned to Aleksey for an answer.

"The girl I told you about," Aleksey began, "did that to Bella, but Edward was able to stop her before she could try again. We had everything under control, but no one," and here he looked at Alice but not in a manner to blame her but to acknowledge the limitations she had during this ordeal, "could foresee that she would conceal a razor blade in her hand. We were all lucky that the blade missed the artery, but we all feel guilty about Bella's injury. We are all to blame for that."

"Honey," Joanne finally released Bella's arm, and Bella gently laid it on her lap, "How are you feeling?"

"A little shaken," Bella answered honestly, "but Edward has been with me the entire time, and that has helped, and if you will notice, Carlisle does some lovely stitches." She held her arm up so her mother could better see the stitches under discussion. "They are the nicest ones I've ever had," she complimented with a smile toward Carlisle.

"Thank you," Carlisle responded, "But I am also sorry that you needed any medical attention whatsoever. We thought we had every option covered, but as Aleksey said, we all missed her concealed weapon."

Joanne looked around the room at all of us before saying, "I'm grateful to all of you for looking after my little girl. She means more to me than most of you can understand," she smiled at Esme as she added the last, and I could see a look of understanding pass between the two of them.

Once again, I was deaf to Joanne's thoughts, but Esme's I heard easily. 'She does love her daughter. I think she truly does accept Edward. I wonder how she would feel if she learned about their engagement. Maybe I should . . .' and then her thoughts stopped as she looked at me and realized I'd heard every thought, so she just smiled and began thinking about which room she would offer Joanne for the night.

"Let me show you where you will sleep tonight," Esme offered as she silently directed everyone with her eyes to go to their rooms for the time being.

I helped Bella up and walked with her following Esme. I noticed the living room was deserted as we walked through toward the staircase and wondered where Jerome and Markus had gone with the girl. I also wondered if their disappearance tied into Aleksey's warning about keeping Bella out of the living room before he left to pick up Joanne.

At the top of the stairs, Esme said, "I thought you and Bella could share the guest room."

"Would you mind if we didn't share a room?" Joanne asked softly.

"No," Esme replied quickly. "We have plenty of rooms. You can stay in here," she indicated the room as she opened the door, "and if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask. Bella, Edward will show you to your room," she said with a slight smile.

"I'll get you a glass of water and the pain pills after you are settled," I mentioned to Bella but knew Joanne could hear me. I guess I hoped she didn't realize Bella and I shared a room now.

It was late in the night when I heard a soft crying. I knew it wasn't Bella because the pain pills had put her directly to sleep, and with my arms wrapped around her and her head on my chest, I would have known immediately if the crying had been hers. Since the only other human in the house was Bella's mother, I knew the tears being shed were hers. Bella wasn't the only one who had a bed partner that night, and with that in mind, I tuned out any stray thoughts and words that I might have heard that night.

The next day, in the early evening, we learned that Markus and Jerome had taken the girl, whose name was Beth, to the woods where she had been meeting the prince. They didn't reveal exactly what happened, but Jerome assured Carlisle and the family that Taranis would no longer present any future threats to Bella and that Beth returned home with a minor disruption to her memory. I wanted to ask more, but Carlisle non-verbally advised me to remain quiet. I had to take their word that Bella was safe from the Fae prince, but I planned to be vigilant for any danger that might threaten her, and I didn't care who the danger came from; I would keep her safe.

* * *

Bella's mother had come up with the lie to tell her husband. Her story had Bella helping her mother in the kitchen when Bella tripped and fell. Bella had been holding a butcher knife, and in the fall, she had lost focus on the knife and accidentally cut her arm as she tried to regain her balance and break her fall. With all the unusual accidents Bella had suffered in the past, her father never questioned the story. Afterward, the days passed too quickly in Bella's and my opinion.

Six days remained before Bella's parents would take her away from me. I knew it was more her father's doing than her mother's, and I didn't care that it was unintentional. Still, I wanted those six days to be something extra special for Bella. Carlisle had convinced me to remain in Tacoma to finish high school and then look into attending college in Great Falls. I had plans to move there as soon as I graduated, and I wanted Bella's help finding a place to live while I was there.

Since Bella's near attack, she had been on edge more than ever before, and Christmas night, she had arranged with her mother and Alice to spend some time at our house before she moved. So that evening, with all the Christmas festivities over, we were sitting in our bedroom just enjoying some quiet time together lying on the bed. I was on my back while Bella was on her side with her head resting on my chest, and her right arm slung casually over me allowing me to wrap my arms around her. I noticed of late that she kept her right arm either on or near me; it was the arm with the stitches, and even though she didn't say it, I knew she used my coldness to help the pain she still sometimes felt from her injury.

"So, did you like your Christmas present?" She asked as we laid together and enjoyed each other's company.

I looked over to the picture hanging on the wall across from the bed. Bella had given me her final art project. She had drawn a pair of eyes, and using colored pencils, she had colored them in. I had no doubt about whose eyes she had drawn, and I had to admit that she had captured mine almost perfectly. Paints would never be a medium Bella would use comfortably, but colored pencils she seemed to manipulate extremely well. I had been so proud of her when she had finally revealed her project in class, and even the teacher had been impressed with Bella's project, and it assured her of a passing grade.

"I'm very impressed with your gift, and very proud that you were able to find a medium that you could work with. I knew you had it in you."

She laughed at my comment and replied, "I only had to fail at most of the other 'mediums' that were available, and who would have guessed I had to go back to grammar school for one I could work with."

It was nice to hear her laugh after everything she had gone through and considering what we were still facing. "Well, I really enjoy the present, and I enjoy spending time with you," and for whatever reason, that seemed to make her quiet and thoughtful.

We had lain sometime without speaking when Bella suddenly said, "Edward, let's runaway together. You can change me and then we will disappear, or we can disappear and then you can change me." Her calmness as she spoke surprised me. Up to that point, I could always hear the fear behind her words, but not this time.

"You've thought this out carefully, haven't you?" I asked as I gently rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand.

"Yes, and it is the only way we can stay together," she serenely replied.

"What about your parents?" I asked, knowing how they would feel when they found her gone.

"Why should I care about their feelings when they don't care about mine? Even mom is treating this as if it were no big deal. What do they care? They have each other, but I'll have no one, and . . . I . . . I . . . won't," a sob stopped her and then tears began to glide freely down her cheeks.

I tightened my hold on Bella trying to comfort her. "Shhh," I tried comforting her, "It will be alright. We will get through this, and this summer I'll move to Great Falls. It will be as if we have never been apart."

She took a deep breath before forcing out, "No, it won't. We'll be apart for almost six months." She heaved a heavy sob before continuing. "It hurts. I feel as if someone is ripping a hole in my chest. I feel a new pain every time I think about losing you." Her voice was extremely broken and soft because of her crying. I could feel her pain through the tone of her voice, and I recognized her feeling because they were mine as well, but I felt I had to be the strong one.

"We won't lose each other. I'll visit every week, and Alice has already planned a trip for us during spring break," I tried to ease the pain, as much for her as for myself, with reassurances that this would not be a permanent separation.

"I can't . . ." she broke off as she wept into my chest. I felt the wetness of her tears beginning to soak through my shirt. She had cried so often during the past months that I marveled at the amount of water the human body could shed through the tear ducts.

"I promise we will survive this. It is only temporary."

"What happens if I don't survive?" She murmured through her tears, but the sobbing had subsided.

"Nothing is going to keep us apart." With all my being, I wanted to stop her ache and incredulity. I wanted her to know I would never forsake her. "You are my world. I promise you that I will never lose you. I will always be there for you."

"Will you?" She suddenly asked with a heavy sigh and a shudder before she continued. "What happens when I begin to sleep walk? Who will be there to keep me safe? Who will comfort me when the nightmares come? I'll be alone, and you won't be there to save me . . . I need you," her voice tapered off into a soft whisper of fear and grief.

I began to run my hand over her head and down her hair to help calm her rising anxiety. "I'll be there." Her need filled me so intensely that I knew I had to do something Carlisle would disagree with, but I wouldn't allow Bella to feel that way. I wouldn't allow fear and grief to consume her. "I'll drop out of school and move to Great Falls. I'll stay at a hotel if I need to. I promise I'll be there for you. Whatever you need, I'll give you. We won't tell your parents I'm around, and I'll stay with you every night and watch over you every day while you are at school. On weekends, I'll pretend to visit, but I will be there for you every day. Bella, I won't abandon you."

Her tear-streaked face looked up at me, and a small, elusive smile pulled ever so slightly at the corner of her lips. "Truly, Edward? You would do that for me?"

"Anything, I would do anything that will make you feel safer." I promised her.

"I'm sorry," she began to cry again, but this time it was softer, less wrenching. "This is not fair to you . . . I'm not fair to you. You should finish school," she laughed through her tears as she added, "even though you've finished school many times before, it still is not right for me to pull you away from your family or to ask you to go against Carlisle's wishes . . ."

"Bella," I began before she cut me off.

"No, Edward, I know Carlisle does not want you moving away. I know he wants to help work this out, but I don't think he means for you to uproot yourself yet. I'm sorry; I need to be stronger than this. I need to stop wallowing in fear, but I must admit it is hard to be strong when I truly am scared. I have counted on you always being there, and I'm scared of what will happen when you are no longer beside me." She paused for a moment before adding, "I'm pathetic, aren't I?" As much as she wanted to be stronger and less fearful, she was still crying softly.

I shushed her as I held her close and continued to run my hand down her hair relishing the silky feel of it. "Bella, I know this is hard for you. I know because it is hard for me. I cannot imagine spending even a week without having you beside me or being able to lie beside you as you sleep at night. I'm fearful of leaving you alone, and I dread what might happen while I am not there to watch over you. Even something little, like tripping down the stairs could endanger you, and I would not be there to save you. I cannot even imagine going on without you, but I'll do everything in my power to make this easy for you. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I will gladly do it."

I meant every word I said, and if anyone had ever told me, before I met Bella, that I would feel this way about a human, I would have laughed at them in disbelief. How could one small but extremely beautiful girl become so significant to my survival? Love was an amazing thing; up until Bella, I had no idea it could change someone's entire world so drastically.

"Bella," I whispered, "you need to sleep now. We will talk more tomorrow," and then, to help her relax, I began to hum an old lullaby that I remembered. Without realizing how tired she was, Bella soon drifted off into a deep sleep.

Late in the night, or maybe extremely early the next morning, I woke Bella up because of her screaming. She had begun by thrashing around, moaning, and murmuring 'gone . . . alone . . . abandoned . . . forever'.

"Bella, honey, please, everything is okay. I promise I'll never abandon you." I was holding her close; she had fallen asleep on my chest, and I hadn't moved her. I knew she needed more warmth than I could ever give her, but it felt right for her to lie like that, and I loved the feel of her nearness. I had also hoped that she would have felt that same nearness as she slept, and no nightmares would resurface because of it, but I had been wrong.

It took a considerable amount of time to calm Bella down before she finally fell back asleep, but during that time of Bella being between wakefulness and sleep, I discovered a large amount of guilt she harbored at making me feel torn between staying with my family and moving to be near her. It appeared to be a no win situation for either of us.

After Bella finally settled into a somewhat restful sleep, Emmett slipped quietly into the room, and Jasper was right behind him. "There is one way to solve this problem," Emmett stated in less than a whisper.

"And just what would that be?" I asked, although it was easy enough to see his idea because he could not stop thinking about it.

"Marry her."

"You think it is that simple," I told him. Bella was underage, and I don't think she would pass for the legal age in Washington. Then there was the factor of getting her out of town without her parents finding out what we were doing, and even if we were legally married, I doubted her father would allow her to move in with my family since he was still her legal guardian.

"Nevada has looser laws. I know you can get married there," he stated.

"It would be very simple to forge any necessary papers," Jasper offered.

I had missed Alice hovering just outside the door, out of my line of vision. "I'll just tell her parents that we want to take her on vacation during the Christmas break. A farewell present from us," Alice suggested. 'It will work,' she offered silently, 'and it will help Bella make it through the next six months.'

All admirable ideas I was willing to admit, but it still felt wrong to go behind her parents' backs. I also had to think about how Bella would react to the suggestion that we elope. Didn't every girl want a large wedding with all the frills? I knew that was what Rose had wanted. Esme provided every frill that Rose desired, and Carlisle spared no expense; they gladly fulfilled Rose's every wish for the perfect wedding. I always suspected they did it out of guilt, knowing how she felt about them changing her without her permission.

"Edward," Alice said into the abnormally quiet room, "This will work, and it is one solution that both you and Bella will be able to live with. It will not hurt Bella's parents. Bella can still move with her parents, but she will have the security of knowing that she is now your wife. One of her greatest fears is not moving away but you losing interest in her and even forgetting her."

"But that is not possible," I stated firmly. I had explained that to Bella numerous times. Once we fall in love, true love, not lust, then we do not change; our feelings do not change, and I would never want anyone but her. Why didn't she believe that?

"Edward," Alice suddenly stood beside me, "Bella wants to believe in you, but she still has her doubts because she has only seen human love, which can be fleeting, and then she sees kids at school falling in and out of love every day. The intensity of your love for her is a hard concept for her to grasp, and although she knows that she will never love anyone but you, she still finds it hard to believe that you will love anyone but her. Marry her, Edward. It will give her the security she needs, and I know you will feel better once the two of you are married as well."

"You've seen that, have you?" I asked skeptically. In the past, I had caught Alice claiming predictions that she had never seen but that fit into some scheme she had, and Alice sometimes placed her plans above the plans of others. Of course, she never did any harm to others when she manipulated people, and everyone, afterward, would agree that her plan had been beneficial, so maybe this time it was the same.

"Yes, I saw it two years ago when I first met Bella. I even saw her change, but I cannot tell you when it will happen, I just know it will. I also know that the two of you marry before you change her," Alice stated confidently knowing everything she said was the absolute truth.

I no longer had a desire to argue with her or anyone else in the family. I liked the idea, but in the end, Bella's decision would determine what we did. "How long will it take to arrange everything?"

"I already have the necessary documents," Jasper offered. I started at him, wondering just when he had begun preparing what was needed. "Alice convinced me that they were necessary three weeks ago."

"With everything else we were dealing with, Alice had you forging papers as well?" I shouldn't have been surprised; Alice never left anything for the last minute. Jasper just nodded quietly at my question.

"Should I go get the car ready?" For a protective 'big brother', Emmett seemed rather anxious to see his little sister married. He must have noticed my look of disbelief because he said, "What? If this will help Bella, then I'm all for it."

I chuckled softly, and then stated, "Bella has the final say. I will ask her . . ."

"I'll go get the car," Emmett interrupted.

"Wait," I quickly said, "I will not ask her until she wakes up in the morning, and then Alice has to arrange everything with Bella's parents . . ."

"All done," Alice smiled broadly. I should have known that she would have already garnered her parent's permission.

"Okay," I conceded, "but I will not wake her up. She needs her sleep."

"We'll be ready as soon as she says 'yes,'" Alice chimed in, and then she ushered Emmett and Jasper out of the room.

I laughed softly to myself after they left. I should have known, without her having to telling me, that Alice had pre-planned everything, and then I felt a growing elation at the idea of Bella become Mrs. Edward Cullen. She would be, officially and legally, mine, and I would allow no one to take her away from me.

I spent the rest of the night running possible scenarios through my mind as to our future. I did know that Bella would need to stay with her parents, at least until she turned eighteen. It was likely that next year, on her birthday, we could reveal our marriage to her parents and move into whatever house we would have already purchased together. That led to thoughts of beginning our house hunting soon after Bella moved. I spent the rest of the night enjoying the feel of Bella lying on my chest, the various possible turns our future life together could take in the next year, and the thought of Bella as my wife before the year was over.

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[2011] – It wasn't until many years later that I learned that Beth's altered memory helped her to adjust to her loss and live a happier life and that Prince Taranis had been sent to live with relatives in the old country. Unofficially, the Protectors had banished him from America for two hundred years under penalty of death. They would have carried out the penalty if he had returned to this country before his banishment ended, and as far as we have heard, he had been happy to remain in Ireland with his kinsmen.


	70. Chapter 70 Next Stop Reno

**AN: I don't own these characters, and I don't make any money off of this story, but I have fun writing about my favorite people. If asked, I deny that this story is true, I deny the existence of vampires, and I deny that I know the real Cullen family personally, so don't ask. I hope you like this chapter – Edward really enjoy it, or he would have if he where a real person.**

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**Journal Entry Fifty-Three – Next Stop Reno [December 1959]**

I anxiously anticipated Bella's rising the next morning. Since I had all night to think about Emmett's suggestion and how deliciously perfect it felt to know Bella and I would soon be married, I couldn't wait to ask her. I even had a picture of the proposal I would make in my mind's eye.

As soon as the first glimmer of sunshine peered through the window, I wanted to wake Bella up; the sooner she woke up, the sooner I could ask her my searing question. I, however, forced myself to wait until Bella woke up naturally before I could enact my carefully planned proposal. Patience is something one perfects over time when facing an eternal future, and I never considered it a weakness in my character, but at that moment in time, I was willing to acknowledge that patience was a weakness for me. I also discovered, post-Bella, that patience was easy when you have no expectations or definitive plans, but when someone extraordinary enters your life, all that changes as it did for me when Bella came into my world.

The moment I knew she was truly awake, I helped her sit up on the edge of the bed, got down on one knee, and took both her hands in mine before finally asking the question I had thought about all night except when I opened my mouth it didn't come out as a question. "Bella, marry me."

A simple declarative statement, but I meant it to come out as a question full of all the trepidation I felt about her answer. Don't ask why I feared a rejection by her because I have no clue were that feeling came from. Hadn't she already said the same thing about marriage days earlier? I asked Carlisle about it later, and he believes it is a natural reaction in most males, human and vampire, when they propose. After thinking about it, I also attribute the emotion in vampires to our natural instinct to see ourselves as monstrous and unlovable. So, after asking, I waited for an answer. Her reply took less than a minute, but, to me, it felt as if an eternity had passed.

She laughed softly before replying. "I already agreed to that, and I even have the ring to prove it," and she held up the ring on the chain around her neck.

"No, I mean marry me now." I smiled as I held both her hands.

Either she hadn't understood me or maybe she thought I wasn't serious because she asked, "Truly? You mean right now, today?" Her face glowed, and a single large tear rolled down her cheek.

"Yes, I'm serious about this. I want to marry you as soon as possible." I gripped her hands just a little tighter but not too tight that I hurt her, got up from the ground, and pulled her to me. "I won't lose you, Bella. I don't care if you are moving away, but I'll do whatever it takes to keep you with me, even if we don't live in the same place. I'm going to marry you to make sure no one steals you away from me. All those Montana boys will be vying for your attention, and I want a guarantee that no one else will claim your heart." I chuckled softly at the idea of finally having Bella as my wife, being able to claim her in an extraordinarily distinctive way as mine. She might be a bit too young to change, but she wasn't too young to marry. Jasper could forge the necessary papers, Emmett would drive us to Reno, and we would be married.

"Yes, Edward, my answer is yes," she laughed with me. "When will we get married?"

Emmett stuck his head around the corner, "The car is in the yard, and we are ready. Let's go you lovebirds. Alice is itching to get Bella into the wedding dress she bought her last year," Emmett chortled.

"Last year?" Bella mouthed to me after pulling away from me slightly when Emmett spoke.

"Come on, Bella, you know Alice. Any excuse for buying a new dress," Emmett laughed even harder. "Now, we have a wedding to attend, so kiss her, and let's go," he directed to me and then turned and left.

"We're getting married," Bella said quietly, slowly, and with a slight awe to her tone.

I laughed joyously as I replied, "Yes, we are," and then I kissed her before scooping her up in my arms and racing toward the stairs with her pleasantly resting in my arms.

"Edward," she whispered in my ear before I was halfway down the stairs, "I'm not dressed."

I stopped for a moment as I realized she was wearing only her nightgown, causing me to race back upstairs.

She blithely laughed as she walked into the bathroom to change. I knew it would take a while before she was ready because I heard the shower begin to run. All I could do was sit on the bed and wait; besides, I reminded myself, we would be getting married, so I could afford to give her some time to clean up, but at the moment, I wished she was already a vampire, so it wouldn't take as long for her to get ready. Once again, I recognized my overwhelming lack of patience while I listened to the girl I loved preparing herself to run off to Reno with me and become my wife forever.

It had surprised me that no one came looking for us during the half hour it took Bella to finish getting ready, but as soon as we slide into the back seat of Carlisle's Mercedes, (and it surprised me that Carlisle was allowing Emmett to drive his car, considering the damage Emmett did to his last car) Alice piped up, "I told them Bella needed time to freshen up after sleeping."

She said it so softly, however, that I didn't think Bella heard her until Bella replied, "Thanks, Alice."

Every time I thought I knew all there was to know about Bella, I discovered something new about her. Her hearing, for instance, was much sharper than any other human I had ever met, and all the times I thought we had been speaking too softly or too fast for her to hear us, she was catching some, if not all, of it. Emmett once confessed that Bella was slightly scary because she didn't conform to his knowledge of humans, but then he commented that it should never have surprised him that Bella was not a normal human, since she not only chose to befriend vampires but also had the audacity to fall in love with one.

I smiled at Bella and thought, 'Bella is an extremely unique individual, and I'm exceedingly lucky that she chose me to fall in love with.'

The trip to Reno, Nevada, normally a twelve-hour drive, took Emmett roughly eight hours, and that included the stops along the way for Bella to refresh herself and eat, but then, when one drives one hundred and ten miles per hour, a twelve-hour trip can be shortened considerably. Besides, we had to drive to Carson City first to obtain a marriage license; Emmett had called ahead and learned that the marriage bureau in Reno closed at five in the afternoon, but the one in Carson City remained open until midnight. Therefore, he drove to Carson City first were we obtained our license, and then to Reno for the Wedding.

Alice had already prearranged with Bella's mother for Bella to be gone for four-day. Alice had fabricated a shopping trip Bella and herself. That gave us plenty of time for the drive, license, and ceremony with a little time left over to enjoy our newly married status.

Alice had already made reservations at the best hotel in Reno, and she had booked time at the Sunset Chapel for the wedding. I planned to stop for the license, get married, and head home, but Alice had other plans. After we had the license, an exceedingly easy document to obtain since no blood tests were required, that was another reason why Nevada had been chosen, Alice had Emmett drive to the hotel where she bustled Bella off to a room and spent the rest of the day preparing Bella for the wedding, which she scheduled for the following day. I had spent one entire night daydreaming about marrying Bella, only to learn I would spend another night waiting for this big event, and this time, Alice would not allow me to remain with Bella while she slept. Instead, Alice spent the night with her. I ended up spending the night with Emmett and Jasper, who insisted that I needed a bachelor party. Emmett, of course, suggested a strip club, much to Rose's fury and followed by a threat of forced abstinence on his part if such an event should occur, so Jasper's suggestion won out. We went hunting instead, but we focused our trip on the Tahoe National Forest so we could find the right game that would appease Emmett for missing the strippers. I could not have cared less about watching woman 'strip.' Bella would be the only one I would want to see sans clothing.

In addition, from Alice's chipper thoughts, I knew Rose, and she had something planned as a bridal shower for Bella, but other than the fact that it would be a celebration, Alice didn't allow it to slip what her exact plans were. I understood that pre-parties were customary before wedding celebrations, but I would have been happier to go straight to the marriage ceremony. Although, I have to admit that hunting had been an excellent idea because I hadn't realized how thirsty I was until I took down my first mountain cat, and the two that followed were just as succulent. For his part, Emmett had found a few bears to feast on, and Jasper, with a preference for wolves, was able to satisfy his palette, as well.

When we returned to the hotel, I tried to look in on Bella, but Rose stood guard right inside the door and assured me that Bella was sleeping peacefully. I spent a restless night pacing the room I shared with Emmett and Jasper, much to their exasperation. I wanted to sing hallelujah when I saw the sun finally sending the first rays of morning light through the room's large plate glass window. I declared it unfortunate that sunrise did not mean Bella was awake and that we could finally leave for the chapel to take our vows, but it only meant we still had a two-hour wait before leaving for the chapel. As I inferred earlier, patience, with Bella in my existence, was something I still was struggling to learn, and I had none to spare that morning.

Not wanting to be away from Bella any longer, I put on the suit Alice had chosen for me and decided to face the two mama bears guarding Bella's cave. My first knock on the door was soft, but after a rude rebuff informing me that I could not come in, I knocked louder only to be spurned again. I smiled because Bella's was not one of the voices refusing entry and growled because my two sisters were refusing me – the groom – entry into my future wife's room.

"I'll break down the door if need be," I warned both of them in a deep, low growl before I felt hands on my shoulder.

"I'm surprised at how impatient you are, little brother," Emmett said calmly as he slowly pulled me away from the door.

Jasper, helping to direct me away from Bella's room, was right beside him, "I've never felt you want something more," he whispered softly.

"Let's take a walk," Emmett suggested as he and Jasper led me away from Bella's door.

"You know how Alice is. Everything must be perfect," Jasper started.

"Even if Bella doesn't care about perfection?" I interrupted his defense of Alice. "Let's remember this is Bella's wedding, not Alice's."

"Yes, but Alice knows what will please Bella, and even if Bella is not thinking about it now, Alice knows what Bella will want to remember," Jasper offered as he and Emmett led me to the elevator.

"I think flowers would be a good peace offering," Emmett declared.

"I don't want to make peace with Alice," I asserted.

"I didn't mean Alice," he corrected, "I meant Bella."

"Emmett, I haven't done anything to upset Bella. I'm sure she is just as ready as I am to get married." Why would Emmett make such a suggestion, I wondered.

"Ah, but every bride needs a bouquet, and Alice hasn't purchased one yet," he clarified.

I looked at Emmett and then at Jasper before asking, "Since when has Alice ever left anything incomplete?"

"Alice thought Bella might appreciate a bouquet more if it came from you." Jasper had that smile that said Alice had seen this, and I couldn't argue the point that it would please me to pick out something memorable for Bella. I hadn't purchased her a wedding gift, which was a custom I learned about from attending not only Jasper and Alice and Carlisle and Esme's weddings, but also the numerous weddings that Rose had arranged for Emmett and her. Flowers wouldn't be much, but they would suffice for the time being. A house would be a better gift, and Bella and I could begin searching for one right after she moved to Great Falls. Our first task, when I visited Bella that first weekend, would be to look for a house, and we would continue looking every weekend after that until we found a house we could both agree on.

I easily picked out the colors that I knew would complement Bella, but choosing an arrangement proved harder. The lady in the shop asked what the bride's dress looked like, and we all laughed. Alice hadn't allowed any of us to see the dress, so Jasper finally called the room, and before he could ask anything, Alice informed him of which arrangement to choose. With her bouquet in my hands, we all headed back to Bella's door to wait, but Alice must have seen my frustration, for as soon as we arrived at the door, it opened with Rose leading the way out of the room. All I wanted was to hold Bella; I couldn't believe how much I had missed her, and it had only been one night. 'How,' I could not help but ask, 'was I going to survive the next six months of separation?'

I didn't get to see Bella's dress because Alice had it artfully covered with a floor-length cape, and before I could say anything, she declared we needed to leave and asked Jasper if he had the license. Up until that moment, I hadn't realized that I had lost track of the license right after we had purchased it. I focused my thoughts more on Bella, our life together, how soon we could reveal our marriage to her parents, and how dramatically my life would change with her in it.

Alice had insisted Rose sit in the front seat with Emmett and Jasper because she refused to allow Bella's dress to be crushed. I think she would have allocated me to the front, as well, if it had been possible. The drive to the chapel was a blur since my eyes remained riveted on Bella and hers on mine. I might not have seen her dress, but I saw her. Alice had used a light hand on Bella's make-up, but the little that she applied transformed Bella into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She even looked older than her true age. Before I realized it, we were at the chapel, and Alice was helping Bella out of the car.

How do I describe our wedding? If I were Alice, I would focus on all the details of Bella's exquisite dress. I do give credit to Alice for choosing the perfect dress for Bella. Alice would also describe the way Bella's hair gracefully framed her beautiful face, but I'm not Alice, so I'll elucidate it the way I remember it.

As I stood facing Bella, I saw myself as one-half of a planet, a broken world with a deep ache to become whole. Around my half was empty, unendingly lonely space, and then, amazingly, another half planet drifted toward me, and the closer it came, the more excited I grew. I knew the other half world would heal my utterly devastated one if it came into my orbit and was attracted to my gravitational pull rather than repelled by it. No longer would I be incomplete, broken, and alone. As my other perfect half drew nearer, I felt the empty, silent space filling with a golden light and a wave of melodious melodies replaced the silence. I saw us as two half worlds tentatively, orbiting each other, and I watched as the golden, illuminating brightness haloed the face of my other half – the other half of my world. Then, as the minister spoke the words that united us in matrimony, I watched as our two half worlds melded together into one perfect world, and I felt a rebirth within me. I knew a new world of hope, love, joy, and unity had begun for me. Never again would I be alone, and never again would my orbit feel empty or isolated. From that point on, I knew my entire existence would have new meaning and be filled with the companionship I had not realized I had been seeking during my empty, aimless years.

Carlisle had been right when he told me a long time ago that vampires never changed and that only one thing could change us – that one thing was love. He warned me that once I found love it would undeniably change me and that change would remain permanent. Exchanging vows and rings with Bella solidified that change for me, and I knew my life would never be the same again, but it was a change I welcomed with an open heart, and I never wanted it to change back to the way it had been. Bella was mine forever the moment the minister said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

The rings we exchanged were simple gold bands. They had originally belonged to my parents, and surprisingly, each one had the word 'forever' engraved inside of it. The engagement band had also been my mother's, but it was more elaborate. The gold band of this ring had one mounted diamond, and then it had diamonds embedded around the outer circle of the band.

I heard all the words, and I spoke the words required of me through the brief ceremony, but reality finally touched me when Emmett said, "Well, he said you could kiss her, so what are you waiting for?"

It was the perfect kiss – soft, gentle, loving with only a hint of passion and promising – it promised her not only tomorrow but forever, and if her parents hadn't expected her home in two days, I would have changed her right there in that peaceful chapel.

To appease Alice, I will add the following. The actual event can be described as an unpretentious but beautiful wedding. Emmett gave the bride away, Alice and Jasper were the matron-of-honor and the best man, and Rose quietly watched. Alice had picked the perfect dress for Bella. It was a classic knee-length white dress with a hooped petticoat, a small white veil, basic white shoes without out heels, and nylon stockings. Even as I write this, I can still see her as she looked that day, and I will never forget how much I enjoyed looking at the back of her nylon sheathed legs. I rather enjoyed the way the seam ran up the back of her legs, becoming lost underneath her petticoat. Men don't understand what they lost when women began wearing pantyhose. Nothing will ever surpass the look of seamed stockings, but I cannot explain what is so enticing about them, just that they are.

The ceremony was simple but traditional, and when the man added 'until death do you part,' I wanted to say death would never part us. I could not, for one moment, imagine continuing without Bella at my side; I would follow Bella into death if I lost her in that manner. When I looked into her eyes and said 'I do,' I hoped she could see all the love I felt for her because as she repeated those words, I felt as if my heart would pound right out of my chest, and I knew that organ would never beat again because technically I was dead, but it still felt as if it were pounding wildly.

Love does incredible things to a person, and my one regret in that moment was that Bella would probably forget our wedding once I changed her. It wasn't, however, the legal wedding Bella thought it was, and I had forbidden anyone to tell her the truth about the notarized, but forged, permission note from her mother. I wasn't sure how Bella would feel when she found out our marriage wasn't legal, but in my mind, it felt legal. I meant every word of the vows we shared, and I knew she meant them, as well.

We did not stay in Reno after the ceremony because I didn't want her parents to discover that I had taken Bella out of the state. I didn't need a kidnapping charge brought up against my brothers or me for leaving the state with Bella without her parents' permission.

I will admit, it was cozy in the back seat, even though Alice and Jasper rode in the back with us. I had Bella seated on my lap, and we were kissing like the newly wed couple we were.

"I could stop and get you a room for the night," Emmett suggested from the front seat while he was driving.

"Now that we are married, we could . . . um, well . . . you know," Bella stammered the last softly in my ear and I sensed her blush running from her neck up into her face.

"The word you are looking for is 'consummate,'" Emmett offered with a deep chuckle.

"I don't think that is a good idea, Bella," I replied.

"Why not? We are married after all," she stated, but I said nothing in return. She stared at me for a few moments and then added, "Edward, we are married, right?"

I always knew she was extremely perceptive, and something in my tone or eyes seemed to give me away, so I put on my best smile and said, "Yes, Bella, we are married, but I don't want to keep you away too long. Your parents might call for you, or worse, come looking for you, and I don't want Carlisle or Esme to have to lie about our whereabouts." I kept my voice even and hopefully convincing.

"There is something you aren't telling me." She was still focused on my eyes, and I had a feeling she could read them like a book even though I was not trying to give out any information I didn't want her to know.

"Edward," Jasper interrupted, "I think there is something you should know about Bella's mother."

"Not now, Jasper," I warned him as quietly and quickly as possible not wanting Bella to hear.

"What about my mother?" Bella asked him. She was not going to allow this to be dropped, and I feared the worst.

The worst possibility being she would hate me and want nothing to do with me after finding out our wedding was a sham to appease her sense of loss. Of course, I meant every word of the vows we took, so in my mind, we were married – legal or not.

'Just listen, Edward, and don't stop me,' he warned silently before he began. "When we first began plans for your wedding, Bella, we talked about your age. In Nevada, anyone under the age of eighteen requires notarized written permission to marry."

"How did you get mom to . . . wait, you didn't, did you?" She understood extremely quickly what had happened, and turned to stare right at me. "You knew this, didn't you?"

I could only nod, too ashamed to utter the guilty words.

"Well, you see, that's just the thing. It wasn't a forgery." Bella and I both turned our heads to stare at him as Emmett chuckled from the front seat.

"I guess you can thank me for that," Alice supplied. "You see, I didn't think it was right for you two to run off." I shot her a glare since I knew part of this had been her idea. "Okay, let me rephrase that. I wanted the two of you married, but I felt Aleksey should know about it before it happened. He decided that Bella's mother should be informed about the event, especially when he found out Bella needed a notarized statement from one of her parents, giving permission for Bella to marry." Alice smiled at Bella then, "Your mother was extremely excited about the idea. She said she wished she could be present but that she had to stay at home so your father would not discover what was happening." I suddenly understood why Bella's mother was so generous about allowing Bella to go on the fictitious four-day shopping trip with Alice. "Bella, your mother did sign the permission statement and had it notarized, and you are legally Mrs. Edward Cullen, and Edward cannot change his mind about your marriage."

"I have no intention of changing my mind or allowing Bella to leave . . ."

"Edward," Alice stopped me in mid statement, "Bella must go with her parents, but that will only be temporary. You will be there as soon as school finishes. In fact, I don't see any reason for you to remain for graduation."

"No, I want to see Edward graduate," Bella declared.

"I can still stop and get you a room," Emmett offered again, "and it is legal," he laughed hardily at his comment.

Bella turned to me, "That would be nice, Edward. I am rather tired, and it has been a long day what with all the torture that Alice put me through to get me ready, and I would like to change out of this dress. I cannot return home in a wedding dress or my father will begin to ask questions." She smiled shyly at me with those deep pleading eyes, and my heart melted instantly.

"Okay, Emmett, find a nice place to stop," I caved, and it would not be the last time I yielded to a request by Bella.

Emmett did find us an acceptable place to stay in Eugene, Oregon, which we reached in a little less than five hours. It was a decent place, although not the four-star hotel Alice would have preferred; at least the rooms were acceptable. Bella and I did not have the proper honeymoon night she might have preferred because I was still unsure of being able to control myself around her, so no consummation, using Emmett's word, took place that night. As for what we did do that night, I remain the gentleman and defer to Bella. If she decides to share the details of our private time together, and I can assure you that it was private because we had a room on the opposite end of the motel from the rest of my siblings and on a different floor, then readers will have to ask her for an additional chapter.

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**AN**: Edward is leaving the details of what occurred between them to Bella's discretion, and she has decided not to share them unless there are an overwhelming number of reviews asking for those details, and if she does write it, it will not be attached to this story, but be a one-shot found under the M rating even though it will not contain any true lemons, but some very specific touching or we can leave this up to your delightfully creative imaginations.


	71. Chapter 71 Missing

**AN: I don't own the Twilight characters. This is coming to a close. It has been a long journey, but I thank everyone who has hung in there.**

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**Journal Entry Fifty-Four – Missing [1959-1960]**

We arrived home without Bella's father discovering where we had gone, and besides my family, only Bella's mother and Aleksey knew Bella and I had been married in Reno. Bella appeared more at ease about the move, and she had my promise that I would visit every weekend, spend all of spring break with her, and move as soon as school finished in the spring. She also began to wear both of my rings around her neck. One of them being the engagement ring I had given her a year ago at Christmas, and the other was the wedding band I had placed on her finger as a token of my endless love, and a symbol of our joining as husband and wife. Looking back, I reflected on the fact that our engagement lasted just slightly over a year, which was much shorter than I had anticipated, but I felt no regrets about that decision. Had I the chance to do everything again, I would not have changed any event that led up to the day she said 'I do' because that was the pinnacle in my existence; I thought nothing could get better than that. In addition, the wedding band Bella gave me never left my finger unless I was at her house, and then I started wearing my ring on a chain around my neck, as well. Keeping it around my neck at her house had begun because one day while visiting her, I had kept it on because her father wasn't home, but then he arrived unexpectedly, and I quickly had to hide my hand with the ring on it. Because of that incident, Bella and I decided it was better for me to keep my band on a chain around my neck anytime I was at her house rather than to wear it on my finger and risk her father seeing it.

The day Bella moved was overcast and rainy, and the gloomy weather precisely reflected both our moods. I could not spend the night with Bella because her father had arranged for them to stay at a motel. He had an extra bed placed in the room so all three of them could remain together. Although I was unable to spend that last night with her, I was at their door at sunrise, waiting to say goodbye to Bella properly. It was the first time I kissed Bella in front of her father, and I didn't refrain from displaying any of my feelings for her. I decided it was time for her father to see that we truly did love each other. Besides, even though her father didn't know it, Bella was my wife. (I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed saying and thinking that word in reference to her.) Even Emmett would have approved of the kiss I gave her in front of her parents. In addition, as I kissed Bella, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Bella's mother, with a slight smile, reach out and place her hand on her husband shoulder, stopping him from interrupting our last moments together.

As her father drove off, I watched the tears stream down Bella's alabaster cheek, and I felt eviscerated as Bella took my heart along with her to Great Falls, Montana.

January of 1960 was a dismal month and not just because of our separation. Instead, the ice and snow that plagued the northwestern states seemed worse than I had remembered in the preceding years. Even with the hazardous driving conditions, I still made my weekend trips to Great Falls, although Bella's mother worried about my safety each time I made the drive there and home.

Each visit, however, confirmed my belief that Bella was not taking the separation well. During the day, we cuddled and kissed on the couch in her living room, but only during her father's absence from the house; otherwise, we sat beside each other talking about school, the friends she left behind, and my family. She was particularly interested in hearing everything I could tell her about Emmett and Alice, in that exact order.

While we talked in front of her father, Bella could not ask about her kitten, which she missed fiercely, so she saved that conversation for times when we were alone. On the other hand, she could ask about the kitten when only her mother was present, for her mother not only knew about the kitten but also visited our house before we moved to see the kitten.

On two consecutive Saturdays, while Bella's father had been at work, we had gone house hunting but had found nothing that Bella liked. She wanted an attractive house, but she was overly cautious where money was concerned. I had laughed about that while reassuring her that money would never be a problem for us, but she remained frugal.

We spent our nights in her room behind closed doors. I would arrive at her window after her parents had turned in for the night, and I left the minute I heard her father getting up in the morning. Being married had new benefits but as with our wedding night, hands were allowed but nothing else until after Bella's change. She then spent the rest of the night in my arms, but her sleep was not pleasant. She would thrash about, cry and moan, and make vague comments about loneliness and desertion. Sometimes, she would also try to get out of the bed by saying she had to follow 'him.' I suspected the 'him' referred to by her was I, and it bothered me that her sleepwalking had returned. I asked her about it one day, but she just waved her hand in a dismissive manner and claimed it was trivial and hardly ever happened. I didn't believe her, but refrained from telling her that I knew she was lying.

Bella wasn't handling the separation well, and neither was I. I never knew pain could come in so many varieties. There was the pain of simply missing Bella, and then there was the pain of spending my nights alone. Next, there was the pain of not hearing her laugh, and surprisingly, there was the pain of no longer needing to watch out for her so she wouldn't cause harm to herself. I especially missed watching out for her in our physical education class where she easily could harm herself by tripping over something or someone. It also caused me pain to watch Emmie wander around the house as he cried and looked for Bella. The pain didn't stop until I was physically holding Bella in my arms, but it resurfaced the moment I drove away from her house. As glorious as it felt the day we were united in matrimony, the anguish of being ripped apart from my other half was exponentially more painful.

The pain became so unendurable that I did something I thought I would never do; I called Aleksey and asked if we could talk. He arranged for us to meet at his apartment in downtown Tacoma. It wasn't anything large or fancy, but it was in a suitable location and had a decidedly modern design. I suspected that Alice might have helped him to choose the place because it reflected her style. The furnishings, however, did not. Many of the items bordered on the side of being antiques.

As he ushered me into his living room, he said, "I believe you wanted to speak to me about something."

Rather than easing gently into the topic, I came straight to the point. "You claim you love Bella's mother in the same manner I love Bella. How do you endure the pain?"

A smile crossed his lips, but his eyes did not reflect the humor his smile indicated. "One day at a time, Edward. It is the only way to endure the pain, one day at a time."

"Does it ever get easier?" I could hope that it might, but looking at his open expression, I knew the answer would be no.

"For me, no, but for you, it will become easier because you will be able to be with her before the year is out. I have no hope of that in the foreseeable future." He was still smiling, but it was a sorrowful smile; one that spoke of longing, disappointment, and bitter pain.

"How do you bear it?" There must be a reason why he continued, why he allowed himself to suffer without finding a way to stop it.

"There is always hope, Edward; hope that one day Joanne will change her mind about me and leave her husband; hope that one day I will be strong enough to go on without her when she tells me that we can never be together; hope that I might find a way to end my existence and thus the pain, but this last hope is not one I will count on because of Bella."

"Because of Bella?" I asked, wondering how Bella played into this situation.

"Bella would be devastated if she discovered that I had given up and ended my existence. She might understand my reasoning, but I don't think she would accept it. Bella is a strong believer in fighting to the bitter end for what you want, and she would resent me for being weak and giving up."

"Maybe Bella is right about not giving up. Have you ever thought about telling Joanne how you feel? Maybe her mother, given a choice, would return your love." I had seen how she looked at him when she thought no one else was watching, and the look had grown stronger in the past month. I think she realized how much he truly loved Bella in that protective manner, much like a real uncle would love his niece, and an inner voice pushed another thought forward – more like a loving father for his daughter.

"Edward, I'm not a home wrecker, and I would never steal another man's wife. It is a reprehensible idea, and only a real scoundrel would think of doing something like that. No, I will allow her to have the happiness in her marriage that she deserves, and I will not come between her and her husband. I will continue as I have and take the little time I can have with her with a grain of salt and suffer in silence. I will never allow her to see how much being apart from her hurts me. Besides, this is all about her. It will always be about doing what is right for her. When you love someone, you will always do anything she asks of you no matter how much it might hurt you." He became silent for a moment, and I felt it wrong to interrupt his thoughts. Just as suddenly as he stopped speaking, he added mostly to himself, "Even when you don't agree with her choice, you'll still do as she asks."

It was a rather nebulous comment, but I didn't dwell on it at the time. I should have, though, because later I would find out what he meant by that comment.

I finally decided that if he could endure the anguish of separation with little hope of it ending, then I could endure mine knowing that it would end this summer. I just had to remain strong and not allow Bella to see how much being apart from her tortured me and find a way to ease her pain as much as possible.

"Edward, think of this as a strengthening time. I know the pain can be unbearable at times, but it will intensify your love for her, and when the two of you are finally together, you will treasure her more than you had thought possible before the separation." What he said made sense, so it was something I stored away and never forgot.

We ended up talking about other things for an hour before I returned home, but it was well worth my time because I gained a new respect for the man, and Bella would appreciate the fact that I would no longer growl or sneer when he came near her. I admired Aleksey because he willingly gave up his own happiness and chance for love so Joanne could find happiness with the man she had chosen to marry. I could not help, however, but wonder whether Joanne was truly happy with her husband, or if given a choice, she might have chosen differently.

I did go home with a lot to think about. It didn't make the pain of separation any less, but it helped me to look at it in a new way.

On the first weekend in February, I had arrived earlier than usual to surprise Bella. School closed early that week due to furnace failure, so I arrived at Bella's house around noon on Thursday. Her mother opened the door when I knocked, and instead of her usual cheerful greeting, she said, "Edward, we need to talk," and then she ushered me into the living room. Once we had seated ourselves, she launched directly into her concerns.

"Bella is not handling this separation well, but I think you already know that. You might have noticed that Bella hasn't made any friends since she moved here, and her sleepwalking as well as crying out in the night has increased."

I just nodded in response because I was aware of Bella's problems. Whenever we spoke about school, she never mentioned classmates. Friends, to her, always referred to Emmett and Alice. Moreover, Bella's sleeping problems were written all over her face, so she never fooled me when she said she had not been having any problems sleeping when I was not around.

"I hate to ask this of you, but is there any way . . ." she hesitated briefly, and the only thoughts I heard from her were 'hopefully,' 'he will,' and 'I hope this works.' My greatest fear was that she was planning on asking me to stop visiting Bella, something I would never agree to under any conditions. "Well, I know this might be a problem for you, but if it could be worked out, do you think, possibly, that you might consider . . . well . . . moving to Great Falls . . . before school is out." She stared hopefully at me.

As soon as she said that, an old hymn instantly came to mind: "Oh happy day, that fixed my choice." Joanne had just confirmed a decision I had wanted to make before Bella moved, making that an extremely 'happy day' for me. I could not repress the smile that appeared on my lips.

"Mrs. Swan," I began, trying to hold in my elation because of her request, "I believe that is extremely possible. Jasper has already graduated, so he and I could move here within the next week." I saw relief wash over her face as I spoke. "I will ask Bella if she will go house hunting with me this weekend." I knew a glorious smile would encompass Bella's face, and I did not mention we had already begun our house hunting. I didn't tell Mrs. Swan that Alice would move with us; Jasper would move nowhere without Alice, and I knew Alice would love being close to Bella once again.

"Thank you, Edward. I am so grateful to you. I cannot bear to see Bella suffering as she has been. I know Richard will not be entirely happy to hear about your move, but deep down even he knows that this separation has been exceptionally hard on Bella. Once Richard sees her smiling again on a regular basis, he will agree that this was the right move for all of us."

"If he asks why we moved, we can say that Jasper decided to attend college here, and I came because I had already planned to attend college here after graduation."

Joanne smiled at my suggestion, though the second part was true; I would attend college there while Bella finished her senior year.

"Bella has not been the only one who has found this separation hard," I confessed. "I can't begin to tell you, Mrs. Swan, how much I've missed Bella as well." It felt right being able to admit that to her.

"Please, I still want you to call me Joanne. Besides, I am your mother-in-law now, and since we are being honest with each other, I guess it is time to admit a few other facts about your relationship with Bella that I already know." She smiled as she spoke so I was more than surprised when she said, "I know that you have been sleeping with Bella at night."

I almost chuckled at her comment because I would never sleep with Bella since I didn't sleep, but I also could not allow her to think something unacceptable had happened between us, so I quickly said, "I can assure you, Mrs. Sw . . . Joanne, that I have never . . ."

Before I could get any further, she stopped me by saying, "Edward, I already know that nothing has happened between the two of you. Although," then she looked at me intently for a moment before continuing, "since the two of you are married, it would now be acceptable if . . . well, you must know what I mean." I could not help but compare her flustered reaction to Emmett's bold admission that sex was now acceptable and expected.

"How much do you know?" It would be best to discover it all at once before I said anymore. Once I knew how much she knew, I could then fill in the blanks.

"I've known quite a bit for a long time. Maybe more than you realize," she smiled again, and I had a feeling that little to nothing had gotten by her in the past few years, and with her next comment, I knew my guess was correct. "For instance, you began spending time in Bella's room shortly after we moved here, but at first, it wasn't all night or even every night. It worried me at first, and I would check on Bella during the night to make sure she was okay. I would usually know when you left, and that was when I would go into her room."

"How did you know it was me?" To say that shocked me was such an understatement. I had made every effort to keep my presence hidden from everyone, including Bella. I had failed with Bella, and it seemed I had failed with her mother, as well.

"Your scent is very distinct." She was another human who seemed to have heightened senses, and considering she was Bella's mother, that should not have surprised me. Bella had to have inherited her ability from someone. "Although, at first, I didn't know it was you, but I made some inquiries as to whom Bella's friends were. I had her invite Alice over after school one day, and that answered many of my questions. We had a productive, albeit brief, talk while Bella had gone upstairs to retrieve something from her room. It didn't take me long to learn everything I needed to know at the time. From that point on, I watched and monitored. I encouraged the friendship with Alice. It was the first time, in many years, that Bella became friends with someone, and I relished that fact. I had feared that Bella would never again trust someone enough to allow them to become a friend."

I remembered Bella telling me about the time a friend let her down and how she found it hard to make friends afterward knowing she would move away again and lose them as she had lost all her previous friends. I also knew that Alice would never have allowed anything short of a true friendship, and the fact that Emmett became her friend, as well, had totally surprised me at the time because Emmett never befriended humans, but then Bella was not the normal, typical human we had become accustomed to in the past.

"It surprised me when Bella began to talk about Alice's brother being her friend, as well. At first, I thought he was the one coming into her room, but then I met him one day when he brought Bella home, and I knew immediately that his scent did not match the one in Bella's room. Then Bella began to talk about you more. Oh, nothing revealing like the way she felt about you, but I could tell she liked you because her eyes would light up whenever she mentioned your name. She told me once that you were mad at her because you caught her playing cards with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. I had to pry more information out of her about that one because I told her that you would not be upset about something trivial like that. She finally admitted the truth." She paused momentarily before continuing, "Have you noticed that Bella is not a very good liar?"

I chuckled as I replied, "Yes, she has a tendency to blush ever so slightly and turn her eyes away when she is speaking."

"Exactly," she confirmed, "and that's why when she tried to make up some story, I knew she was lying. It didn't take much for her to finally admit the truth about the card game. We both laughed over it, and it didn't surprise me that she couldn't resist Emmett's challenge. Has she ever told you that once someone challenges her that she has to accept it to prove she's strong? She once admitted to me that if she didn't accept, others would see her as weak. Emmett seems like her in that respect. He too likes a challenge. Maybe that's why they get along so well."

"That might be one reason, but the other reason is that Bella reminds Emmett of Emily, his younger sister that he lost, and he has adopted Bella as his missing sister. Emmett says Bella has the same temperament that Emily had, and I suspect that he missed his sister more than he would admit." I wasn't sure if Bella had ever mentioned Emmett's sister, but I thought it was helpful information for her.

"I'm glad. Bella always wanted an older brother, but Richard once told her that she was all he could handle. He meant it as a joke, but I think Bella thought he was serious, and she blamed it on all her accidents. Aleksey once told me that Bella was not truly accident-prone but that she attracted bad things. I sometimes wondered if he meant something else when he said that. I always felt as if he was referring to people rather than things, but I never shared my suspicions with him. I had a feeling that there were some things better left unsaid. I've felt that way around your family, as well. I also think you know what I mean, even if I don't come right out and say it, but that's another matter all together."

It took only a fraction of a second to realize she was admitting she knew about us without making an oral statement of fact about her knowledge. She had hinted at this fact once before when we were talking, but she was right about staying mute on the subject because there were things better left unspoken than spoken.

"Back to what I was originally saying. I've known since the beginning that you would come into Bella's room, and then after the two of you started seeing each other, you would stay in her room almost every night. It was interesting to discover that Bella slept better with you near her. Her sleepwalking and nightmares stopped, and she would come downstairs more refreshed looking in the morning." She had glanced down at the floor before she shared the next bit of information. "I once asked Bella how serious the two of you were in your relationship. She didn't understand what I meant, so I flat out asked her if there had been anything of an intimate nature occurring between the two of you. Bella blushed as she tried to explain that yours was an extremely innocent relationship as far as that was concerned. I wanted to ask her for more details about your relationship but didn't have the heart to ask her what I truly wanted to know. I have a feeling, though, that if I ask you, you will give me the truth."

"I can assure you that nothing of an intimate nature that you are referring to has occurred between us," I replied.

"Even now that you are married?" She wondered.

She knew we had wed since she had signed the necessary papers that allowed our marriage to be legal, but this was the first time she admitted that she knew. "Do you object to the marriage?" I asked curiously. Maybe she only agreed so the marriage would be valid. Besides, what mother would want her daughter married to a man under false pretenses?

"No, I thought it would give Bella the peace of mind she needed to survive this separation until this summer, but I can now see that she needs more than a piece of paper or even a ring. She needs you, and I suspect that you need her just as much." Her mother truly understood how we felt about each other, and I wondered if she had ever experienced a love this deep.

I smiled as I replied, "I believe you are correct on both counts." I knew she wanted to say more, but the ringing of the telephone interrupted our conversation.

She quickly walked into what I knew was the kitchen to answer the phone, and as I habitually did, I listened in to the call.

"Hello?"

Even from a distance, I heard Alice's voice, "Is Bella around? I would like to speak to her."

"I'm sorry, Alice, but Bella is still in school. Can I have her call you when she gets home?"

Alice's tone seemed strained as she spoke, and then she asked, "Is Edward around? I'd like to talk to him."

I felt a heightened sense of dread as I heard Alice's tone. It was as if she were telling me something was wrong without saying the words. I made the mistake of getting up and walking to the kitchen even before Joanne told me that Alice wanted to speak to me, but she didn't comment on that fact. Instead, she just gave me a questioning look.

"Edward, something is wrong," Alice started. "I keep seeing Bella in a cold, snowy place. You need to find out where she is."

"Just a moment, Alice." I turned to Joanne and asked, "Did you see Bella leave for school this morning?"

"Not really. When I got up this morning, I found her bed made, and her lunch gone from the refrigerator, so I figured she went to school early. She does that a lot when you're not around."

"Is there some way you can find out if she arrived at school?" I could not help but wonder if something had happened to her as she walked to school. It was only three blocks away, but with all the problems Bella had lately with the Fae prince and Beth, I could not help but worry about her.

"I can call the school," she offered. "Is something wrong?" I heard the concern in her tone and saw a slight frown creased her brow.

"Let me call you back," I said to Alice just before I hung up. "Could you call now?" I asked.

"Edward, is everything okay?" She asked as she began dialing.

I answered truthfully, "I don't know." While she called the school, I went to Bella's room. The one thing I hoped I didn't find in Bella's room, I didn't find. Her scent was the only one that permeated her room. Once I knew no one else had entered her room, I did a thorough scan, looking for anything she might have left behind, and then I saw it, lying between her pillows was a neatly folded sheet of pristine white paper. It would have been easy to miss because of its locations, and I wondered if she had originally placed it on top of one of her pillows. I picked it up, unfolded it, and read it as I walked back to the kitchen.

"She has been absent all day," her mother declared as soon as I walked in the room.

"She left a note," I said at the same time.

"What does it say?" Her face was ashen, and I could tell her fear matched mine.

Then I began to read. _"Mom, I can't do this any longer. Being parted from Edward hurts too much to continue to pretend that it doesn't, so I'm going to find a way back to him. I don't care what it takes, but I'm staying with Edward. I know dad is going to be extremely upset, but better that he is upset than that I am in continual pain. Besides, you know as well as I that the sleepwalking is getting worse. I'm glad you agreed not to tell Edward about it, but last night honestly scared me. After you had gone back to bed, I decided I would just go back to Edward. We both know that will be safer for me to be with him than to remain apart. Tell dad whatever you feel is necessary, and I'll call you as soon as I arrive at Edward's house. I love you mom. Bella."_

"She left?" Her voice was flat and lifeless.

My response was, "What happened last night?"

She just stared at me for a moment and then admitted, "Bella ended up walking out into the street. I am thankful we live on a dead end or there might have been late night traffic. It scared both of us, and that wasn't the first time her sleepwalking has taken her out of the house. Most of the time, I find her out in the yard, but she is always barefoot and doesn't have a coat on to keep her warm. She's been sleeping poorly for the last month, and only the nights you are here does she seem to sleep more peacefully."

"I was aware of her restlessness at night," I admitted. "And you are right about my staying with her at night. When I'm with her, I can sooth the nightmares when they start, and if she tries to sleepwalk, I'm there to stop her. She told me, before you moved, that she feared the sleepwalking and the fact that I wouldn't be there to keep her safe. I should have moved here at the same time you did. I should never have left her side." I felt an immense sense of guilt descend upon me because of my desertion; I knew she needed me, and I had let her down.

"What are we going to do?" She asked.

"I'm going to call Alice back and have her get the family out looking for Bella. She must have left somewhat early, but depending on how she is traveling, we might be able to find her. I'll begin by checking the bus and train stations." My mind was shifting through all the possible ways she might be traveling. I knew she wouldn't fly because of the cost, but she might have saved up enough money for a bus fare or possibly a train ticket. I would also have Alice looking for her in her own particular way.

"I'll call Aleksey after you talk to your sister," Joanne said. I had feared she would have broken down in tears, but she held her own while we began to gather searchers for Bella.

Alice said all she could see was snow and Bella shivering from the cold. She noticed no surrounding landmarks or indicators of where Bella might be. I wondered if what she had seen was still a future vision, or if it was Bella's current location. Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett had headed out to follow the highway leading here with the hope of finding Bella along the way, but I reminded them that I had taken the highway to get here and had not seen her along the road.

After talking to my family, I went to the bus and train stations to find out if she might have purchased a ticket to Tacoma. I even had a recent photograph of her, but no one remembered seeing her. The ticket seller at the bus station had also informed me that the depot had been closed until seven that morning, and he had been there to open the doors. He was positive that no girl had been there to purchase a ticket for Tacoma or any other destination.

The man at the train station had come on duty at five that morning, and Bella's mother knew Bella's sleepwalking occurred at four, and she was positive Bella had not left the house before five because she had stayed awake listening in case Bella would have taken another early morning stroll. Bella's father had been gone for the past week and wasn't due home until the following Monday, so he had no idea of what might have occurred.

Once I knew Bella had not taken the train or bus, I decided to follow her scent on foot. I had hoped I could determine what directions she had gone, and I hoped I could possible catch up with her. If she had walked, then I knew my speed would help me find her quickly. I was sorely upset when I discovered that her scent entirely disappeared about three miles outside of the town, meaning someone had stopped to give her a ride.

I headed directly back to Bella's house and called Alice with the new information. Jasper and Emmett had already begun a search from Tacoma; they followed the interstate toward Great Falls while Carlisle began checking the secondary routes. Everyone had orders from Carlisle to call home every half hour to relay and receive information. The problem facing us was that Bella may have taken a ride with someone who wouldn't follow the interstate, and then may have dropped her off somewhere along the way after I had passed the vehicle she had been riding in. For that reason, Carlisle chose to follow a few of the secondary routes. After she had talked to Carlisle, Joanne agreed to remain home to monitor incoming calls from my family and Aleksey, who Carlisle had asked to help him in his search of the secondary roads. In addition, she would be near the telephone just in case Bella called home. Alice, Rose, and Esme stayed at our house to answer the phone, relay information, and to be there in the unlikely event of Bella showing up.

My plan included following the interstate on foot, checking every off ramp in case Bella had been dropped off by whoever she had accepted a ride with somewhere along the interstate. Our only hope was that whoever picked Bella up would be taking a direct route to Tacoma.

Alice or Esme gave me updates on the other's progress whenever I called home. It was important that we all knew what the others were doing so we didn't miss any areas while we searched. I just hoped one of us would find her before nightfall because Alice already had foreseen a storm coming in over the mountains, and the forecast was predicting a colder than usual night.


	72. Chapter 72 Choices

**AN: Don't own the original Twilight characters, but the plot is mine. Well, we are getting near the finish line. One more chapter after this, and it is a long one (16 pages) and the epilogue. The epilogue I am still writing, and if possible, I'll try to finish it over this Thanksgiving break.**

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**Journal Entry Fifty-Five – Choosing [February 1960]**

I didn't need to die to experience hell. Knowing that Bella was missing, and not knowing if we would find her alive, was a form of hell I had never imagined existed. Now that I had her in my life, for I did feel like I finally had a life – immortal yes but still a life – anyway, now that I had her, I could not even imagine continuing without her. I already began to feel the anguish of losing her, but to think that my loss would be permanent nearly brought me to my knees, and I could not afford that while I was still actively looking and hoping to find her.

I did, however, entertain thoughts of what I would do if I did lose her. Stephenie Meyer did have it right; there are very few ways to kill a vampire, and short of setting myself on fire, suicide was out of the question. My family also was not an option because they would do nothing to harm me, and I didn't think Aleksey would offer to help either. The Protectors were just that, they 'protected,' and short of making them think I was a rogue, they would not kill me. That left me with one alternative, and that depended on if I could find him or not. Maybe, if it turned out badly, the Fae prince would welcome the chance to end my existence. At least, that was my optional plan if we didn't find Bella in time.

By now, I imagine my family is ready to rip a hole in me as they read this, and I can't even imagine the flack I'll have to take after Bella reads it, but honesty is something I wanted to achieve through this journal, and everyone seems to have offered the truth about events that have remained hidden for some time. So, no matter what they do to me, it will never feel as appalling as what I went through that day. I already felt the multiple holes that occurred every time I thought I would be too late to save Bella. My chest had the largest most agonizing hole one could imagine; right then I felt like 'Tin Man' from the Wizard of Oz, and I had a greater understanding of how his hollow chest felt because mine felt the same way. It is not a feeling I ever want to experience again. Bella did once say she would rather die than be parted from me, and that was while she was human. Had I understood then what she had been feeling, I would never have allowed her to move to Montana without me.

Now that my digression is over, I will focus back to the day we discovered that Bella was missing, and the day my world crumbled around me.

I had spent the entire day searching for Bella. I used my sense of smell as a way to attempt to track Bella. At every off-ramp from the interstate, I checked for her scent, and I even followed the off-ramp in either direction for half a mile just in case whoever had given her a ride had dropped her off away from the interstate.

I also telephoned Alice and Joanne every half hour to discover if anyone had found her or any information leading to her whereabouts. Even Alice's vision remained vague; she saw Bella in a cold, snowy place and nothing else.

I was more than halfway home and had been expecting to encounter either Jasper and Emmett or Carlisle and Aleksey, but I had seen neither of them during my search. The sun was just about to rise, meaning Bella had been missing for nearly twenty-four hours, and I had made it as far as Ritzville, which was west of Spokane. I knew it would be awhile before I would be able to telephone home again, so I stopped and made my call.

"Edward, come home immediately," Alice said as soon as she picked up the phone. "Bella will be here in an hour."

"Is she okay?" I felt as if someone released a band from around my chest, and even though breathing wasn't necessary, I suddenly felt as if it were easier to breath.

"I don't think so. Just stop talking and come home now," and then the line went dead. She had hung up on me, but I didn't pause to think about that or allow it to distress me. Instead, I took off running, normal paced at first until I cleared the houses and was in mostly uninhabited areas, and then I allowed myself the full potential of my ability. Once I hit my top speed, I knew even if humans were around, they would only perceive a hint of motion and then nothing; they would contribute the blur to their imagination.

Driving it would have taken me a little over two hours to arrive home, but my atypical form of transportation allowed me to cut my time in half, and I arrived home just in time to see an unfamiliar car pull into our driveway. I watched as it stopped, the back door opened, and then Andreas slide out of the backseat with Bella cradled in his arms and wrapped in a blanket. In less time than it took a rattlesnake to strike, I was at his side reaching out for Bella.

Instantly he said, "My pack found her in the woods. She had been exposed to the elements for some time before they happened upon her. We called your family as soon as she was brought to our compound, and then we brought her home as soon as possible."

"Carlisle." I knew he was in the house because of the voices I heard coming from inside. Carlisle was out the door only seconds after I spoke his name. "She's freezing," I informed him.

"Take her inside immediately. I'll be only a moment," he replied.

I knew he would stay to thank the werewolves for bringing Bella home, something I should have done out of courtesy and gratitude, but my only concern and thought right then was to get Bella inside and warm her up. Once I had her up in our room, I began wrapping more blankets around her, and both Esme and Alice brought in extra ones.

"It's not enough," Carlisle said as he walked into the room. "We need as much heat as possible. Esme, in my office is a special heated blanket. It is in the cabinet on the west wall. Please bring it quickly. Alice, you'll need to strip off all Bella's wet clothing. Edward, bring her a warm nightgown. We'll then wrap her back up and bring her body temperature up. Rose, fetch my black bag, it's down in the entryway by the door." Carlisle knew exactly what to do, the order to do it in, and how to make each of us feel useful by giving us a specific task.

It took only moments to have Bella warmly wrapped and lying on our bed. I could not lie with her because I could not afford to bring her body temperature down by one degree. Alice informed me that Aleksey had headed to Great Falls to pick up Joanne, and Jasper and Emmett had gone along to retrieve my car. Carlisle told us that it would take time to know what would happen next, and Alice was keeping her mind closed to me, which told me that she had seen something she was not willing to share. All I could do was sit beside Bella in a chair, which I usually kept by my desk, and wait.

Carlisle, being his efficient self, took charge of Bella's care and stayed home from work to monitor her progress. It took Aleksey and Emmett five and a half hours to arrive home, breaking every speeding law in three states, but Joanne didn't complain about that fact. Her only concern was her daughter. Bella's body temperature had finally begun to rise shortly after Carlisle had her wrapped in the thermal-heating blanket specially designed for hypothermia patients, but after an hour, her temperature continued to rise. By the time her mother had arrived, Bella's temperature had finally spiked at 104 degrees, and then it became a matter of bringing her temperature down. Similar to the last time she had a high fever, I crawled into bed with her and kept us both under her blanket, but even my cold body didn't seem to help much.

Carlisle once again suggested we sandwich Bella's body between Emmett's and mine, but after an hour, her fever still refused to come down. Carlisle ran more checks on Bella and diagnosed her with pneumonia. He suspected the sickness was a result of the cold, her depleted immune system, and the stress she had been under because of the separation. After conferring with Joanne, he concluded that Bella had probably been developing the sickness before her prolonged exposure to the weather and that her hypothermia only intensified the symptoms she already had.

"Can you help her?" Joanne asked.

"I'll try," was all Carlisle could promise.

He began penicillin shots and instructed Emmett and I to remain beside Bella in the hopes of reducing her temperature.

"How long before we know?" Joanne remained calm but expected direct and honest answers to her questions.

Carlisle could only give her the information he knew based on his medical knowledge, his knowledge of Bella's previous health conditions, and his knowledge about the medicine he was injecting into Bella's system. "We should know something more definitive in twenty-four hours. If her fever does not go down, then we'll discuss some other options."

"I won't let her die," Joanne declared, looking first at me and then at Aleksey. He nodded at her comment, and I knew something unspoken passed between them, but neither of their thoughts was audible to me.

I could not understand how Joanne could choose which of her thoughts I could hear and which I couldn't hear, and I wanted to ask her if she were aware of the fact that I could hear her when she let her guard down, whatever that guard was. Bella was the first human I ever encountered who I literally could not hear at any time, her mother was the first who seemed able to block me out at times, and her father's thoughts, although I could hear them, were still cloudier than the normal human – I attributed Bella's silent mind to whatever made it hard for me to hear her parents, and this was something I had no answers for, but at that moment, I was not looking for answers to that questions. My one and only concern was Bella, and I was not about to let her die.

The next twenty-four hours were heart wrenching for me. Emmett and I continued to provide the refrigeration Bella needed, but no significant drop in her fever occurred. We also took turns coaxing her into drinking because Carlisle stressed the need to keep her hydrated. Bella's mother left the room only for human needs, as Bella had once referred to them, and Esme and Alice brought up meals for Joanne. Bella had exceptionally few cognitive moments; most of the time, she either slept or murmured incoherently. The few times she was actively aware of her surroundings, she asked if I would stay with her or declared she would not return to Montana. During those times, both her mother and I reassured her that we would not be separated again. Then, when semi-conscious, she talked about wolves, snow, too far, too dark, teddy bears, jaguars, and trees. I was unsure of what she meant by too far and too dark, but I figured the wolves, snow, and trees referred to the area where Andreas' pack found her. Why she had been in the mountains and not on the road, however, was a mystery to me, and Bella was in no condition to explain what had happened after she left home. The teddy bear and jaguar were easy because she had used those terms in reference to Emmett and I once before when she was sick.

Carlisle had learned from Andreas that two members of his pack had found Bella huddled up next to a fallen tree in the forest west of Leavenworth, and all they could figure is that she had tried to follow Highway 2 and became lost after dark. No one knew how long she had been in the forest alone, but Andreas said his men hadn't found Bella until after midnight, and they knew instantly who she was because they had been watching out for her since she was a small child. One of them, in his wolf form, had laid down beside her to provide her with some warmth, while the other returned to the pack to inform Andreas of what they found. Andreas had immediately called our house and relayed the information to Alice, and then, he and a few others drove as near to Bella's location as possible. They immediately wrapped her in blankets before driving to Tacoma. As grateful as I was for what they had done, I had not taken the time to thank them when I took Bella from Andreas' arms. My only thought had been to take Bella into the house and warm her up as quickly as possible.

With everything that everyone had done and was doing for her, she seemed to make exceedingly little progress. Her fever wavered between 102 and 104 degrees, she began coughing later that morning, and by late afternoon, the cough worsened, Carlisle informed everyone that Bella had double pneumonia, which meant she was getting worse.

Carlisle finally told Emmett and Jasper to drive to the store and buy as much ice as possible. When they returned home, I gently carried Bella into our bathroom, and still in her nightgown with a blanket wrapped around her, I set her into the bathtub and Carlisle began packing her in ice. By the time he had her legs covered, her teeth were beginning to chatter, but her fever dropped only to 101 degrees. He kept her packed in ice for about 20 minutes, and then had me take her back to bed where Joanne and Alice redressed Bella in a dry nightgown. I laid back beside Bella who was covered with a mountain of blankets, but I stayed outside of them this time. Carlisle decided to burn the fever out of her since cold was not working.

By the following morning, Bella prognosis was still unfavorable, and Carlisle called everyone into the bedroom.

"She is becoming progressively worse. The pneumonia is making it difficult for her to breath, her fever is on the rise again, and if the fever does not break soon, it will burn her up from the inside out." I saw questions on the faces of my siblings, Aleksey, Esme, and Joanne at Carlisle's last comment. Of course, they would not understand what happened to someone whose fever continued to rage because none of them had been to medical school. I, on the other hand, knew this was an unfortunate sign.

"In layman's terms, Carlisle," Joanne said.

"It means that the fever will begin to damage Bella's organs, and eventually, if the fever continues, her organs will begin to shut down. I have been administering penicillin, but it does not seem to be working, and neither ice nor heat has had any effect in permanently reducing her fever. She spiked at 107 degrees early this morning, and now she is running a steady 104. I'm running out of ideas on how to help Bella. We can let this run it course and see what happens, but at some point, we might have to make a decision if she doesn't start to show signs of improving."

Joanne turned to Aleksey and asked, "What are her chances of surviving if we wait too long?"

"Not acceptable. If her body becomes too weak, she won't survive," he told her.

I could hear fragments of thoughts from both of them about a conversation they had once when Bella was a child. It followed the same train of thought about Joanne not allowing Bella to die, and Aleksey needed to make a decision. Joanne wanted to know if he would help her with her plan; however, neither of their thoughts revealed what the plan was. Fortunately, I already understood what she intended. She would not allow her daughter to die, and she had once said when the time came, she would have Aleksey 'do it' if I wouldn't do it. She meant to have Bella changed; she would not lose her daughter, and I concurred with that because I did not intend to lose my wife.

"If it comes to that, I'll do it," I said as I stared at them both.

"You understand then," Joanne said.

"Do what?" Emmett was the first to ask, but the question was there in everyone else's mind.

Aleksey was the one who finally said the words Joanne had held back. "Change her. Joanne and I talked about 'this' years ago, and I agreed that if it ever came to a choice of allowing Bella to die or to save her, I would make the choice to save her. I believe Edward is making that same choice."

"You know then?" Emmett asked with a slight smile.

"Yes," was Joanne's only reply.

"You don't say the word because to acknowledge what you know would put you in danger," Carlisle stated.

"Yes, Aleksey explained that to me sometime back, but he also said Bella had already discovered how he was different from us. I feign ignorance to protect her more than me," she finally admitted.

"The Protectors already know that Bella is aware of our secret," Emmett stated what we all knew.

My hunch that Joanne was aware of that was confirmed when she said, "Yes, I know that, but Bella was already engaged to Edward, so she was safe. I, on the other hand, have no protection."

"I would never allow anyone to harm you," Aleksey said as he placed an arm protectively around her shoulder. A smile of understanding passed between them.

"You would change her before anyone would harm her," I stated simply. He loved her, had admitted that fact during our skiing trip, and he mentioned it again when I talked to him about the pain of separation I had been feeling. His love for Joanne was as deep as mine was for Bella, and although Joanne was married, it didn't change anything for him.

He didn't need to speak; I could see it in his eyes, so his only acknowledgement was a simple nod of his head.

"Soon," Alice murmured, and I saw a vision of Joanne changed.

Everyone looked at Alice knowing she had seen something, but we had never told Aleksey about Alice's ability. "How do you know?" He asked her. No one answered; secrets were something we kept even from other vampires, and he was no exception, but that didn't stop him. "You can see it, can't you? I always suspected something of that kind because of other things I've noticed. It's okay though. It's not as if I'll share your secret or Edward's. We all have our secrets we would prefer to keep."

"Like your ability?" I asked him. I knew he had one, and I had a hint of what it might be from things I had noticed about him.

"Maybe it is time we are all honest. I know Joanne told Esme about her ability, and the fact that she is human makes no difference to her ability." I noticed his arm was still around her shoulder, and she had placed her hand on top of his as it rested on her shoulder. "And by now, you should have already recognized that Bella is also special, but to what extent her abilities will go is anyone's guess." Everyone nodded in agreement to his comment. "Well, my ability is being able to shield my mind from others, most of the time."

"Most of the time?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, but it is something I have to do consciously. When I want to keep my thoughts hidden," he looked directly at me, "then I can consciously place a barrier around my thoughts and keep everyone out, but if I am careless and forget to put the shield up, then someone like Edward can hear me."

"Then you're not like our Bella," Emmett chuckled.

"In what way?" Aleksey asked, and even without access to his thoughts, I knew he didn't know about that ability of Bella's.

"She doesn't even have to try. Edward can't hear anything she is thinking, and she once tried projecting her thoughts to him, but he was still deaf as a bat when it came to her." Emmett chuckled even harder after seeing the look of astonishment on Aleksey's face.

"Never?" He asked, looking at me as he spoke.

"Never," I readily admitted.

"That is very interesting." He moved his arm from around Joanne and began to pace the room.

Normally, I considered my room moderately large, but with nine adults all crowded in the room, it seemed smaller than I had ever noticed before. As Aleksey continued to pace silently, I noticed Bella's kitten jump up on the bed, make its way over the blankets toward Bella, and begin to rub against Bella's cheek as it began to purr. I watched as Bella slowly pulled her arm out from under the blankets and began to pet Emmie causing his purr to amplify. Everyone turned to stare at Bella whose eyes remained closed, but she began to murmur softly to the kitten, "Hello, little one, missed you terribly. Missed Edward more, but missed you too." Her voice was extremely low and hoarse, and after she stopped talking, she began to cough, but it was a deep rattling cough.

Instantly, Carlisle was next to her listening to her lungs, and he didn't even need to pretend he needed his stethoscope, not as he did with other humans. "Bella, breathe in as deeply as you can." Even I could hear the raspy intake of air. "Now breathe out," he told her. She complied, but it ended in another rattling cough. Carlisle turned to me and gave a slight shake of his head.

"I need to speak to you privately," Joanne said to Carlisle as she indicated for them to speak outside of the room. I knew the privacy was not meant for my family, but for Bella.

Once out in the hallway, and out of Bella's range of hearing, but not anyone else's, Joanne asked, "She's getting worse, isn't she?" She must have seen some look or other indication from Carlisle because she added, "I want the truth."

It was still a moment before he answered. "I fear she is, and I don't think I can do anymore for her medically. We can try to wait this out, and hope for the best, or . . ."

She finished his comment for him, "Or someone can change her." She did not sound upset by that option. "I think Bella should have a say in what happens next."

Both Joanne and Carlisle walked back into the room. Joanne went straight to the bed and sat down beside Bella. "How are you feeling, sweetie?" She asked as she lightly brushed some stray hairs from Bella's forehead.

Bella coughed before she answered. Even with the few medical classes that I took, I knew her cough signaled fluid in her lungs, but of how much fluid I was not sure.

"Cold –" Bella's voice was hoarse and rattled slightly. "Throat hurts – headache."

Bella was lying on her side, and I still had the chair pulled up beside the bed near her head. I reach out and took her free hand while she absently stroked the cat with her other hand.

"Really sick, aren't I?" Bella glanced first at her mother and then at me through glazed eyes.

"Yes, honey, you are," her mother softly replied.

"Dying?" I watched a single tear roll down her pale cheek. I noticed she kept her words clipped and to the point, as if she didn't have the energy or voice to make complete sentences. The fact that she was coherent enough to understand and responds to our questions was a sign of her will to communicate even through her pain.

"No, honey, you're not. I won't allow that to happen." She swept her hand across Bella's forehead again, but she frowned and looked toward Carlisle. "She's burning up."

Bella stopped petting the cat, pulled free the hand I held, and touched her mother's cheek. "It's okay, mom. Tell Emmett it's okay. I didn't mean it about the bears. Tell him that. I don't want him feeling guilty." As soon as all her words were out, some of them sounding forced through her raspy voice, she began to cough again. I knew that took a lot of strength from her.

"Give her some water," Carlisle commanded as he appeared at Bella's side and placed his hand on her forehead. "If you are going to do this, I think we should do it soon."

I watched as Bella's mother tried to get Bella to drink some water, but Bella just turned her head away. Suddenly, Emmett was removing the water glass from Joanne's hand and replacing it with another. "Here, she might drink this." I noticed as he handed her a glass with cherry Kool-Aid.

Joanne laughed lightly as she said, "Bella always loved cherry Kool-Aid as a child." She then leaned in toward Bella saying, "Honey, try this. It's your favorite." As soon as the liquid touched her lips, Bella began to sip slowly at the fluid being offered. With Carlisle beside me and Joanne beside him, the three of us looked on as Bella allowed her mother to tip the glass slowly so she could drink.

While that was occurring, the rest of the family and Aleksey took up positions on the other side of the bed and silently watched.

"What did she mean, Emmett?" Rose asked softly, breaking the tentative quiet that had occurred.

Bella stopped drinking and laid back down just as Emmett spoke. "Bella once told me that it was unfair to kill bears if they had cubs relying on them for survival. I had assured her that I was careful which ones I chose to . . ." he paused as he looked at Joanne, then shrugged his shoulders, and continued, "kill. She said she would never forgive me if I left a cub orphaned because the poor little thing would not survive without its mother. I believed her. She looked so sincere as she said it."

"That's why you have been so cautious lately," Jasper said with a soft chuckle.

The rest of us the stared at Emmett in disbelief that Bella's words could so affect him.

"Yes, she's my sister," was his only response, but in his mind, I saw and understood that he would never intentionally do something that would upset or hurt her, not even if it meant avoiding his favorite meal.

I found this slightly funny because I knew that Emmett usually was careful about not killing a mother with cubs, but Bella must not have known that when she asked that of Emmett. If the situation hadn't been so serious with Bella, we all might have laughed about the incident.

"Joanne," Aleksey spoke up. "What happens if Bella isn't lucid enough again to ask her?"

Joanne gazed down upon her daughter and then spoke her name, "Bella, honey, I need you to listen to me and then let me know if you understand. Just listen. I want Edward to bite you. I want you to know we are doing this because Carlisle does not think you will pull through this otherwise, and I won't wait until you are too weak. Honey, will you agree to this?"

Even if Bella hadn't agreed, I think Joanne would have had me bite her anyway, and I felt about the same. I wanted Bella to stay with me; I could not willingly let her go; I could not allow her to abandon me to an eternity of solitude.

"Edward," Bella croaked through a raspy voice, and as she breathed in, I heard the rattling of fluid in her lungs. "Hard to breath."

I pushed the chair back as I stood up and then knelt beside the bed by her head. "Then don't talk, but listen to me. I love you, I have always loved you, and I will never stop loving you. I want to do this for you . . . no, I want to do it for us because we are meant to be together. We are meant to be happy. I've never known happiness like this ever before. It is blissful and as close to heaven as I might ever get. You're my angel, Bella, but I want you to be my earth-bound angel. I want you to remain with me forever, Mrs. Edward Cullen." Had it been possible, I believe I would have been in tears, but Joanne seemed to be crying for all of us. "Bella, just tell me that I can keep you."

Bella took as deep a breath as her lungs allowed and whispered, "Keep me," before she began coughing again, and then she clutched her chest and moaned, "It hurts."

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**AN: To those of you who celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving.**


	73. Chapter 73 Forever Times Two

**AN: No ownership of Twilight characters.**

**So, here is the last chapter but one. I hope you like it.**

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**Journal Entry Fifty-Six – Forever Times Two [February 1960]**

She uttered two simple words sending me into a satiated idyllic state I would never have possibly imagined.

Unfortunately, those words, 'keep me,' were not enough. I had to see her eyes as she told me that this was what she wanted, so I sat beside her on the bed, and said, "Look at me, Bella. Open your eyes and look at me, please." I waited as I watched her eyes flutter until they finally opened.

"Edward, I love you," were her first words.

I smiled as my feelings for her swelled beyond anything I had felt before. I never realized that love didn't reach a peak; instead, it grew exponentially the longer you stayed with the one you truly loved.

"Bella, I have to hear you say that you want me to change you." She stared at me as I spoke, and a gentle smile remained on her lips, but I could not tell if she understood what I said. When she still didn't say anything and continued staring, I asked, "Bella, do you know what I'm asking?"

Her smile grew, and she finally replied, "Yes, bite me, Edward."

Two simple words; a cliché today, but those two words, to me, were both pleasing and intoxicating because they meant I would be able to keep Bella – my wife – forever with me, never having to think about giving her up. Those two words would change my hell into a heavenly paradise, and for once, I would not regret what I was. If, for some sardonic reason, it didn't turn out well, and Bella didn't survive, then I would be plunged down into the deepest, darkest recesses of hell, and even if I found a way to end my existence, hell would still consume my soul for murdering an angel.

The thoughts of keeping her forever finally made the venom pool in my mouth as she slowly turned her head to bare her throat to me, but I would not leave a scar on her beautiful, slim porcelain neck. Instead, I leaned in and kissed her neck, and then I took her arm and bit her wrist at her pulse point. I didn't suck any of her blood out, but allowed my venom to mingle with her blood before sealing the wound with more venom. I repeated the process on her other wrist and then on both her ankles before turning to Carlisle. "Will that be enough?" Since I had never done this to anyone before, I sought his advice.

"You did well, Edward. It will be enough." He smiled reassuringly, and Esme squeezed my hand.

Joanne smiled as she said, "Thank you, Edward," and then turned to Carlisle and asked, "How long before we know if the change will be successful?"

"If she makes it through the next two days, then she should survive the transformation. It should be all over in three days," he replied.

Joanne turned to Aleksey, and he nodded in agreement.

"Edward," Bella moaned, "it burns. It hurts. Why does it hurt, Edward?" Tears were beginning to run down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but it is going to hurt. You're going to feel like you're on fire, but it will eventually end." A wave of remorse washed over me. I knew this would not be painless, but her moans and whimpers were making me feel like the monster I knew I was capable of being.

"Make it stop," she screamed, and then whimpered as she pleaded, "Please make it stop."

"I can't, Bella. I'm sorry. I'm so truly sorry." I held her hand in mine, and she did still feel extremely hot to my touch, but I also knew it could be the residue of the fever still burning within her. She was still human, and she still had pneumonia. She was not even beginning her change yet because the venom was still making its way through her blood system.

I turned to Carlisle, "Is there anything we can do for the pain?" I couldn't leave her in pain. If I could take the pain and suffer it for her, I would, but I remembered going through this when Carlisle changed me, but why didn't I remember that before I bit Bella? I didn't want her to die, but I also didn't want her to suffer.

"It has to run the course, and there is nothing I can do for the pain." His look said more than his words did; they told me that he too was sorry for her pain, but it was inevitable and could not be stopped.

"I might be able to help a little," Jasper offered as he stepped closer from the other side of the bed. He sat down on the bed, and I could sense him pushing soothing emotions onto Bella. They seemed to help a little, and for that, I was grateful.

I don't want to write about three solid days of guilt, remorse, anguish, self-hatred, and my own pain as I watched Bella suffer, so I'll condense this part of the story. After the first three hours, Rose and Emmett physically dragged me out of the room claiming I needed to hunt. I hadn't thought about my own needs, but once outside of the house, I realized the scent of Bella's blood as I bit her had done more to my senses than I had realized. Rose commented on the blackness of my eyes, and Emmett halfheartedly joked about finding a mountain lion to quench my thirst.

I had forgotten how this would affect Emmett. He had been the last in the family to be changed, so he had never watched someone going through the change. Because of his connection to Bella, he felt some of the same pain I did while watching her suffer. Rose also said if she could make it through Emmett's transformation, then I would be able to survive Bella's. In addition, she assured me that once it was over, I would feel differently about what happened. I would not forget it, she said, but I would be grateful I made the choice to keep Bella.

I could not have made a different decision about Bella's change for two reasons. First, I would not allow Bella to die, and second, Joanne would ask Aleksey bite her if I failed to carry through with my promise to change her. Neither of us wanted Bella to die, so her mother and I did share that.

This was not an easy time for Joanne either. Not only did she watch as Bella screamed, writhed in pain, and slowly died internally as she changed, but she had to deal with her husband, as well. He called once every day wanting an update on Bella. On the first day, it took Joanne well over half an hour to convince her husband not to fly to Tacoma. His superiors had sent him to Washington, D.C. for special training, but he was not at liberty to discuss anything more about the training. After that, he called every day to check up on how Bella was progressing through her 'sickness,' and every day, Joanne lied, telling him that Bella was getting a little better. There was no way she could tell Richard that Bella was dying and transforming because he would not have understood what she meant.

On the second day, I pulled Jasper out of the house and made him hunt, demanding that he take a break because I could tell helping Bella was beginning to drain him. To share her pain, could not be easy for him, and he felt her pain in a way none of us did. I left it to Aleksey to take Joanne out of the house at times to give her a break from watching and hearing Bella suffer. It seemed we all took turns watching over Bella and watching over each other.

I could not help but ask Carlisle on the third day how he had been able to stay with all of us as we transitioned. It seemed worse when I remembered that with me, he had no one to relieve him or comfort him, and I had been little help when he changed Esme, not feeling it my place to watch at times as he comforted her so tenderly. His response was that when you loved someone, you were willing to suffer with them no matter what the personal cost, and I understood what he meant because the few times I was forced to leave Bella's bedside were almost more torturous than staying beside her and watching her suffer.

The third day became the hardest because Bella's burning seemed to increase, and her heart rate accelerated to a dangerous level, but it did not appear as if the transformation was nearing its end. It only seemed to be causing her more unendurable pain; even Carlisle became slightly worried. Only Aleksey remained calm.

As the third day drew to a close, and Bella still screamed in agony, I turned on Aleksey in anger. "How can you remain unmoved by her suffering? I have never seen anyone take this long. It should have ended by now."

"Not necessarily," he replied, still calm and holding Joanne's hand to help her remain calm. I had no one's hand to hold because the only one that would have helped calm me was Bella. "I have seen this before, and the fact that Bella has survived this long signifies to me that she will survive the change. Her body is just fighting harder, and we just have to be patient."

"Patient while we watch her suffer?" My anger caused me to yell as I responded to his impassive tone.

"None of us want to see her suffer, Edward, but short of killing her, we have to allow this to run its course," he replied without raising his voice.

"Maybe I didn't get enough venom in her system. Maybe this is my fault because I did a poor job." I wanted to sob knowing I could not ease her suffering in any way.

"No, you did an excellent job. She had more than enough venom in her system, but she is a strong-willed person, and she does not give up easily. I knew when the time came to change her it wouldn't be as easy for her as it is for some. She fights, even when she doesn't mean to, she fights."

Emmett had been standing at the end of bed, and I heard him chuckle softly. My head snapped as I turned his direction and glared at him.

"He's right, Edward. Remember when Bella was sick last year, and you and I had to help bring her temperature down. Even as sick as she was, she still made some humorous comments about what was happening, and she fought her way through that sickness, as well. She doesn't give in easily, and she will find ways to twist the rules to suit her so she can win just like she does when she plays games." He had smiled while he remembered this side of Bella, but then he became serious as he continued. "I know this is different, and this is a change she wants, but she still has that tenacious nature about her, and I'm afraid she'll bring that nature into her new existence. It might prove extremely entertaining when the two of you begin to have disagreements."

Emmett's last comment made Rose chuckle as she thought about how I deserved someone more obstinate than me.

Beginning at midnight, Bella's heart raced at an alarming rate for five hours, she screamed louder than the previous days, and even Jasper looked drawn and haggard from trying to help her. Near dawn, Alice finally pulled him away from Bella's bedside, and with an apology to me, she led him out of the house. I could not blame her, and she knew that, but she still felt sorry for taking Jasper away, but it was for his own good. He needed the reprieve. As soon as Alice and Jasper left, Bella's heart finally began to slow down. Carlisle had come back into the room to check on her, and he called Aleksey and Joanne into the room. Aleksey had taken Joanne to another room and coerced her into getting a little sleep.

"This is it," Carlisle said, and his words brought the rest of the family into the room. Even Alice and Jasper returned, and Alice had an enormous smile on her face.

"She'll wake up in twenty-two minutes and forty-two seconds." Leave it to Alice to have an exact time.

We all stood around the bed listening. Her heartbeat slowed more, and the beating became erratic until it finally stopped beating. Those of us who could hear it knew the moment Bella's heart died; her mother could only go by our expressions, and I think she especially focused on mine. Bella's physical appearance had begun its slow change during her last twenty-four hours of life. I had watched as her scars began to disappear, and the luminosity of her skin slowly began to appear even as it became paler. Even her hair color began a slow change to a richer deep loamy shade with streaks of rich mahogany woven through it while its consistency seemed thicker, shinier, and wavier. By the time Bella's heart beat for the last time, even her mother could see the changes in her because they had become more predominate.

"Only a few more minutes," Alice intoned, and we all waited and watched.

"She's not breathing," Joanne said, causing Emmett to chuckle.

Aleksey whispered to her, "She's dead, Joanne. She no longer needs to breathe, but she will just because it is a habit our bodies are accustomed to."

"Dead?" Joanne looked at him as she finally began to realize that everyone in the room but her was truly dead, but then she asked, "But not gone?"

"No, she'll awake to her new existence shortly." After he had finished speaking, Joanne took his hand, turned from the room, and began to walk out with Aleksey following her. I could not hear either of their thoughts, but it felt as if they had agreed upon something, and their leaving was the beginning of whatever their plan was.

As I watched, Carlisle said, "She won't be here when Bella awakes."

Jasper added, "That is an excellent idea. She is still human, and Bella will be thirsty."

"You'll need to teach her to hunt," Esme said, and at the same time, Alice exclaimed, "She needs new clothes!" Causing Alice to rush off into the closet.

I heard a sharp intake of breath from the closet and saw Alice's flashes of the future simultaneously. Besides images of my wife being more angel-like than I had become accustomed to, I saw images of Joanne, and she was not human. Within less than twenty seconds after the images flashed into Alice's mind, I smelt telltale traces of human blood.

"He's changing her," I declared in response to the visual and scented signs of what Aleksey was doing.

"It was her choice," Carlisle replied. "She had always planned this, and it is not our prerogative to stop what she wants."

The last image I saw via Alice was Joanne standing with Aleksey on one side of her and Richard on the other. "She will have to choose," Alice said as she walked out of the closet. "She hasn't chosen, yet." Everyone just stared at her not comprehending what she meant, but I did. Joanne would have to choose whether she stayed with her husband or if she went with Aleksey. This was not something Bella had thought about, and I wasn't sure how she would take the news once she had awakened.

"A matter of minutes now," Alice said as she walked over to the bed with a garment bag draped over her arm. I wasn't sure if she spoke of Bella or Joanne.

"You'll have to tell her before she returns home after she hunts. She'll need to be prepared when she walks into the house and hears the screaming." Alice had been looking at me as she spoke, so I knew the words were meant for me. As if Bella did not have enough to deal with, I was going to have to tell her that her mother would be a vampire in a matter of three or four days. Could things become any more complicated?

"Look," Alice declared as she pointed toward Bella.

Her eyes were fluttering, and I knew she would open them in a matter of seconds. My Bella, the words thrilled me, and knowing she was no longer a fragile human delighted me immensely.

"Edward?" She hadn't even opened her eyes, but my name was the first word out of her rose-colored lips. Her voice had a lilt that was evident before, and although the pitch was slightly higher, it was still pleasing and more euphonious than when she was human.

I reached out and caressed her cheek, which no longer carried the familiar warmth but was still velvety smooth. "I'm right here, my love."

Her eyes finally fluttered open as I spoke and even though it shouldn't have, her eyes shocked me. They were no longer the rich loam color but a deep burgundy.

"Is it over?" She asked as she reached for my hand. As she touched it, her lips formed a perfect circle as she uttered, "Oh!"

"Is something wrong?" I asked because as soon as she touched my hand, she retracted hers. I worried that something might have gone wrong during her change.

"No, it's just that," and she reached out and touched my hand again, which was now lying on the bed beside her, "your hand is so smooth and warm." She ran her fingers lightly across the top of my hand. She then sat up and looked around the room at each of the family. "Everything looks different," she finally said, and then looking at Carlisle, she asked, "Why is that?"

"Your sight has heightened, as have all you other senses. It might take some getting use to, but Edward will help you." He smiled at her as he spoke. I not only heard his pride, but also it was almost as if I felt it, and then I realized that Jasper was transferring Carlisle's feeling to me. Carlisle was proud of his new daughter-in-law.

"I think we should allow Bella to change, and then you need to take her hunting," Alice quipped cheerfully.

"Nothing frilly or silky," Bella said to Alice, and that must have been what Alice had chosen because her lips turned down into a frowning pout. "If I'm hunting, Alice, I want comfort."

"But, Bella, silk is the most comfortable thing you can wear," Alice replied still pouting.

"No." Bella began to get up, but she didn't just get up, she glided faster than she ever had as a human to the closet door, and it must not only have surprised me but her as well because of the look on her face when she realized where she was. "Well, that will take some getting used to," she finally said, causing both Emmett and Jasper to laugh aloud.

"Maybe you'll turn out to be faster than Edward," Emmett said as he continued to chuckle, the first real laugh he gave since I had bitten Bella.

"Maybe," she replied, "but first I need to find something to wear." She looked at Alice's downfallen face as she added, "and if you are reasonable, Alice, I'll let you help me pick out something comfortable to wear on this hunting trip."

Alice's perked up at the comment and skipped over to the closet to join Bella, and then they both disappeared into the cavernous closet.

"I think we'll leave you," Carlisle said. "I feel an obligation to check in on Joanne and Aleksey and see if I can help in any way."

"Rose and I are taking Jasper out so he can resettle his emotions," Emmett informed me.

"I'll see if I can help when I come back," Jasper added with a half smile. I knew helping Bella had been hard on him, and for him to turn around and help Joanne was generous, but Emmett was right, Jasper did need some time just to empty himself of all emotions before he tried helping anyone else.

"She's almost ready," Alice said as she emerged from the closet. "I'm going to join Jasper, Emmett, and Rose." She also motioned with a nod of her head toward the closet, and silently informed me, 'Bella wants to know why Carlisle needs to check on her mom and Aleksey, and what Jasper plans on helping with.'

Alice's silent warning made me aware that Bella heard the conversation while in the closet. I still needed to adjust to the new Bella who could not only see, feel, and smell better but could also hear better than when she was human.

I thought it best to avoid Bella's questions while I internally debated on how to answer them. So, as soon as Bella walked out of the closet, I took her hand and said, "I thought we would leave through the window so you can have an idea of how easy it was for me to leave through your bedroom window."

She looked as if she were ready to say something, but I pulled her quickly toward the window knowing she would be able to keep up with me. I loved the fact that my windows opened outward, and no screens barred our passage, so as soon as the window was open, I jumped and then looked up waiting for Bella to follow.

She looked skeptically down at me and said, "Are you sure?"

I replied with a broad smile, held out my hands to her, and nodded once in the affirmative. I don't think she thought I heard her, but just before she jumped, she murmured to herself, "I trust him," and then she jumped. As soon as she landed, I wrapped my arms around her waist, lifted her off the ground, and twirled her around holding her tightly to me; I didn't even need to worry about how tightly I held her.

As we twirled, I growled softly into her ear, "I love you, Mrs. Cullen," causing her to giggle.

"I love you too, Mr. Cullen." Her laughter rivaled Alice's for the lilting bell-like quality, but hers was slightly richer and a shade deeper than Alice's. "I thought you were taking me hunting," she laughed merrily as I continued to twirl her, and then slowed and set her back upon her feet.

"I guess I was, and you must be thirsty," I replied.

"I guess I am." Her laughter had stopped, and a thoughtful look crossed her face. "What does it feel like?"

"There is a burning in your throat, and you feel a hunger. As a newborn, that hunger should be overwhelming you urging you to seek blood. Don't you feel any of that?" I was amazed that she held off this long and was able to stop and hold a conversation without rushing off to find the first blood source she could smell. Of course, the nearest blood source was in a bedroom inside the house, at that moment.

"Well, there is a burning, and I do feel hungry, but I also feel the love I have for you, a desire to kiss you, and I seem to smell blood, but it is coming from inside of the house. I can also hear the birds rustling in the bushes, off in the distance I can hear a truck and some cars, and deeper from the woods, I think, I can hear some larger animals moving around. I think I can smell their blood, as well." She turned her head in the direction the sounds and smells were coming from as she spoke, and even those small movements appeared graceful to my knowing eyes.

"Even with the scent of blood so near, you're not rushing toward it. Why?" I could not help asking because her reactions were so much different than either Rose or Emmett's when they were turned.

"Well, I'm assuming the blood scent in the house is human, and I'm not about to go after that person, and the animal scent, although extremely tempting, can wait until you tell me what to do next, or until you satisfy my curiosity about what it will be like to be kissed by you now that you no longer fear breaking me." She gave me a look of need, but not a need to feed. Instead, I've seen that hungry look in Emmett's eyes numerous times when he has wanted Rose for pleasurable activities.

Instead of commenting on her request, I acted on it. I pulled her against my chest, and this time I could be a little more forceful, and then I put my lips to hers. It was not a chaste or careful kiss; this time, I was able to put all my passion into it, and surprisingly, she responded with just as much passion. Even more surprisingly, I had to pull away from her because her embrace was beginning to hurt.

"Careful, love, you are now stronger than me, so you will have to treat me as the breakable one for awhile." I couldn't stop the soft chuckle that the comment caused in me. Usually, I was the one who had to be cautious, now she could hurt me if she weren't careful.

If she could have, she would have blushed; instead, she looked down at her feet and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

I put my finger under her chin and raised it so her eyes would meet mine. "Don't be. I'm not, and I like the fact that I don't have to be so watchful around you." I watched her frown turn to a smile, and then I brought our focus back to her next need. "I think we should hunt now. I want you to focus on the smell of blood in the woods and allow that scent to lead you to your dinner."

With a bigger smile, she replied, "Okay," and then took off running.

Her running took us five miles to a small herd of deer. Once I could see them, I allowed her to pick her target and take it. I didn't interfere with her kill, nor did I approach her while she fed. When she finished, she looked around for me and asked, "Aren't you hungry?"

"Bella, it is a known fact that when a newborn feeds, it is better for others to stay away. As a newborn, you should be more feral and territorial of your kill than you are acting right now."

"Oh, should I growl at you like Emmett probably does since he growls at everything he considers his." She had a slight smile with some blood running down the corners of her lips, which was tempting me to want to lick it from her lips. The fact that she was joking after feeding for the first time, however, surprised me. When I didn't respond in any way, her smile broadened, and she said, "I won't bite. Please join me," she laughed and took off running in the direction the rest of the herd had gone after she had taken down the first deer.

I followed her but kept a little distance between us just in case. Newborns, while hunting, always reacted poorly if they felt they were being hunted or pursued, and that was what she could have felt toward me as I ran behind her, but she ignored my presence and seemed focused on whatever scent she was tracking. I soon realized we were headed up the side of Mount Rainier, and I suddenly caught the scent of Alice and Jasper. I had forgotten they had also gone out hunting with Emmett and Rose. My senses told me that they were both feeding, and I ran faster to catch Bella. Prior knowledge informed me that she would attack them for their kills, but just as we neared their location, Bella amazed me by veering away from them. Jasper looked up in time to see her headed away from them, and his eyes caught mine as he realized she hadn't attacked them. I only shrugged my shoulders as I ran following her.

It was much further that Bella came upon a female bear. She had three cubs that had already gone up a tree, and the bear was already rising up on her hind legs. Bella paused briefly to scan the situation, and I figured there would be three orphan cubs in a few seconds, but Bella astonished me by turning away and running to the west of the bear following another scent she must have picked up. It was not a scent I detected, which made me wonder how keen her new senses were.

In another five miles, I picked up the scent she must have been following, and ten miles further on, we came upon two male bears fishing in a river. She overtook the first one quickly, and to see how she would react, I took the second one before it could flee. She never even flinched when I made my attack, once again overwhelming me with her control of her emotions.

When she was finished, she just looked over at me and laughed. I gave her a questioning look, wondering what she found so funny about the situation. She finally said, "Emmett was right. Bear is tastier than deer, but don't tell him that I said that, he'll only gloat about being correct." Then, she laughed again.

Last time, after she had finished hunting, I didn't approach her for fear of her reaction. This time I did, and once again, she had blood running down the corners of her lips. I followed my instincts and pulled her so I could lick the blood from the corners of her lips, and then I kissed her. Her response was to hold me close, but I noticed this time she did not hug me as tightly as she kissed me. I cannot say how long the kiss lasted, but I had no desire to stop, and since neither of us needed to breathe, we just continued to enjoy the kiss. I also noticed that Bella's hands began to roam up and down my back until she was finally cupping my backside in her hands, repeatedly squeezing and rubbing it causing other reactions in my body – namely a building desire to take her right there. At the same time, her hands began roaming, so did mine, and mine mimicked her actions until they finally began to wander up her sides toward the front of her body. When I reached the sides of her breasts, I was tempted to allow them to touch her in a much more intimate fashion, but reason finally returned, and I released her lips and pulled away from her. I didn't want this to go any further in the woods. When I finally consummated this marriage, I wanted it to be in our bed and not on the ground in the middle of the woods with two dead bears lying nearby.

"We need to hide the evidence," I finally said, and we quickly buried the two bodies.

When we finished, Bella said, "Race you," and from force of habit, I took off running only to hear her chime-like laugh as she said, "Up the tree."

I had to stop and follow the sound of her laugh, finally spotting her halfway up a tree. I had never seen her this playful before. It was similar to her joking earlier about not biting. I found it not only surprising but also rather nice. It was a new side of Bella, and I wanted to ask her about it, so it took me no time to follow her up the tree, listening to her crystal laugh as I climbed.

When I finally reached the branch near her, she said, "This is beautiful," and she used her hand to indicate the vista in front of us. "I always wanted to climb a tree, but it was forbidden. I once begged my mother to let me climb a small tree in our yard, but she said dad would blame her for being careless of my welfare if I fell." She looked over at me. "Do you know how much I hated those words? Every time I wanted to do something, dad would say, 'It's too dangerous, Bella. I'm looking out for your welfare,' or 'be more careful, Bella, you might get hurt.' My 'welfare', be 'careful,'" she scoffed, "two extremely hurtful words because they both meant I could never have fun. Only two people ever allowed me to have fun without over-thinking how I might get hurt, and that was Uncle Peter and then Emmett."

I felt rather distressed by her comment. I hadn't realized I stopped her from having fun.

I must have shown my feelings because she suddenly, and for her, it was extremely sudden, reached out and put her hand on my arm. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to upset you. You offered fun in a different form." She looked down bashfully, and again I realized she would have blushed had she still been human.

It made me wonder if I missed her blush, or if I just had expectations due to her previous human habits.

"Don't apologize, Bella. What you said was extremely accurate, and I was just as bad about looking out for your safety as others in your life, but I never meant for you not to have fun."

She put her finger on my lips, stopping me from saying more. "I understand. I think I would have felt the same way about you if our roles had been reversed. I would have been afraid of losing you before you were changed."

She then stood up, smiled, and surprised me by climbing higher. She reached a spot about five feet up and then walked out on the branch she had reached, laughing as she walked on it. I almost said something to stop her and then realized she was safe. Even if she fell, she wouldn't get hurt.

Instead of following her, I steadfastly remained where I was and watched the sheer ecstasy that crossed her face as she took chances with her safety. She finally came back down to the branch I sat on, but instead of sitting beside me, she dropped off the edge, catching the branch with her hands. She then just swung from the branch, laughing as she did so.

When she finally sat down beside me, she commented, "You should see your face." She laughed some more as she took my hand. "Even if I fall, Edward, I won't get hurt."

"I know that. It's just going to take me a little time to get use to that idea."

That caused her to laugh again. "Poor, Edward. Maybe we need to find you another girl to take care of."

She shocked me when she said that. Did she mean she wanted someone other than me in her life? "Have you changed your mind about loving me?" Even I heard the shock and hurt in my voice.

She reached out to caress my cheek. "I thought maybe you wanted someone who needed to be taken care of and protected. That maybe you are now disappointed in me because I'm not so fragile anymore."

"Why would you think that?" Did she not understand that I would never want anyone but her?

"Because you seem upset about being in the tree with me."

"No, it's not that," I laughed as I began to clarify myself and felt relieved that she wasn't thinking about leaving me. "It's just how playful you are. I have never seen this side of you, and you're laughing more. I'm just astonished."

"Edward, I could never be playful around you before. You were always too afraid that you would hurt me. I could be playful around Emmett because he did not worry if I bruised, and he allowed me to have fun. You were always too worried about hurting me or letting me get hurt, so I avoided doing things that would cause you to worry."

Once again, I felt wounded when she said she could not be playful around me because of my concern for her safety, but I conceded to her comment because she was correct.

Before I could speak, she added, "As I already have said, I understand why you felt that way, but I'm hoping that will change now."

"Nothing would make me happier," I assured her before I took her face in my hands and kissed her, enjoying the fact that I no longer needed to be ever vigilant when I kissed her. It felt extremely pleasant to kiss her without having to think about harming her in any way, and I enjoyed letting her know that through the intensity of my kiss. I also allowed the kiss to show her how much I wanted, needed, and loved her.

When I finally released her lips, she breathed out a, "Wow," and then paused before she continued, "I thought you could kiss before, but now I'm going to have to change my opinion. That kiss was much more passionate than anything you allowed before." She smiled broadly as she continued, "I'm going to want you to kiss me much more often if you continue to kiss as passionately as that."

In response to her comment, I just smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.

I'm not sure how long we stayed in the tree, but neither of us was in any hurry to climb down because neither of us wanted to stop kissing the other one. Her comment about my kisses was also true of hers. When she was soft and fragile, she could kiss, but now she could return the ardor of my kiss with as much passion of her own.

When we finally pulled apart, we climbed down the tree and walked slowly back toward the house. We held hands, talked, and laughed as we walked, and twice I asked her if she were hungry; she should have been hungry again, but she claimed her thirst was running in a different direction. On the walk back, we stopped to bury the deer she had killed earlier.

As we reached the house, it was bordering on the late afternoon, and right outside the house, Bella stopped and stared at the bedroom window where her mother laid.

"Edward, why is my mother here, and what is happening to her. I can smell her, and her blood smells funny. Is she the human I smelled earlier?"

I was not about to start lying to her now since I had promised myself that, as my wife, I would keep no secrets from her. "She came right after Andreas brought you here."

"Wait, Andreas the werewolf? Why did he bring me home?" I like that she was referring to the Cullen home as her home.

"His pack found you in the woods freezing. They wrapped you up and kept you as warm as possible, but you were already suffering from hypothermia. Your mother came as soon as she found out. Aleksey and Emmett went to your house, and Aleksey drove your mother here. She watched over you the entire time you were sick, and hardly left your side while you were changing." I watched her face as I spoke, looking for her reactions. Besides stunned surprise, I could read no other emotions on her face or in her eyes.

"I was dying, wasn't I?" It was all she asked.

"Yes," was the only answer I gave her, but I imagine she could see my pain as I remember how close to death she was.

"You changed me, and my mother watched." She was remarkably perceptive, or she remembered some of what happened.

Since I was interested in how much she remembered, I asked, "What do you remember?"

"I remember being cold, so cold I didn't think I would ever get warm, and then I remember coughing so hard that my chest hurt." She looked up at me and smiled, "I remember asking you to bite me," she frowned slightly, "and when you did, it hurt. Right after that, the fire started. I remember the burning and thinking I would soon turn to ash because the flames were so hot, but I also remember you holding my hand, telling me everything would be alright, and I think Jasper was there trying to help. Every now and then, it was better, not good or pain free, but better, and just hearing your voice helped. I also remember thinking that when it was all over, we would be together forever. I tried to manage the pain by remembering things I did not want to forget."

I pulled her against my side after wrapping my arm around her shoulder as she paused in speaking for a second.

"I started with our time together, and our wedding." She gave a soft, pleasant sigh when she mentioned our wedding. "I remembered Uncle Peter and the times he spent at our house when I was a child. After that, I recalled everything I could remember about your family and the times they shared with me." She paused and looked up at me, a pleasing smile playing across her lips. "I didn't want to forget anything that was important to me or to us."

"Do you remember how you ended up in the woods?" I asked out of curiosity.

She laughed softly. "Yes, I figured you might wonder what happened to me, so I took the time to recall those events." She took a moment before continuing. "After I left the house, a man stopped and offered me a ride."

I frowned at the thought of some man giving my wife a ride.

Bella laughed again before she said, "Edward, he was older than my father, and he was exceptionally nice. He asked where I was going, and I said to Tacoma. He said he was only going as far as Lexington, Washington but that I could get a bus there that would take me to Tacoma. I didn't tell him that I didn't have the money for a bus ticket."

I stopped her to ask. "Why didn't you have the money?" I knew she had enough money to either purchase a bus or train ticket because I had given her money the previous weekend.

She averted her eyes from mine, "It was your money, and it didn't seem right for me to spend it."

I put my hand under her chin and lifted her face so I could see her eyes; the color of them still astounded me. "Bella, it is _our_ money. As my wife, everything I have is yours, and besides that, you were coming to see me, so for your safety and my sanity, you should have used it." I chuckled as I spoke so she would understand I was not upset with her; I also let go of her chin since she decided not to look away from me.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

I laughed harder at that comment. "You will never need to do it again because I'm not letting you go now." I knew it would not be safe to send her back to her father, and I would not allow us to be separated again, at least not for the next fifty years, but before we discussed those issues, I told her, "Please continue with your story."

"Well, when the man dropped me off, I followed the highway that ran out of town to the west, but when it became darker, I must have veered off the road into the woods because I realized that I could not locate the paved road anymore. I guess I wandered until I got tired, and then I sat down to rest. I don't remember anything after that until I was at home, and as I said, I remember the cold and hurting, and then you asking if you could keep me. That was sweet, Edward. I hope you'll want to keep me forever because I know I don't ever want to let you go."

"I'll never release you, either. You are too precious to me," I replied, causing her to smile at me.

She reached up to pull my face down to hers and kissed me, then she continued, "Toward the end of that burning, it became almost unbearable." She glanced down at her feet again before continuing. "I told myself that I had to make it through the change because if I didn't, I would never have a true wedding night." I discovered I missed the blush that would have gone with that comment. "That was what kept me hanging on, I think. I didn't want to die, but then I realized I had to die so I could start my new life with you."

We were still standing outside the house, but inside, I knew everyone was waiting for us to come in.

"I can hear them," she whispered. "Why are they so interested in what we have been talking about?"

"They heard what you said," and what they heard interested them for different reasons; I could hear their thoughts clearly.

Carlisle was interested in the fact that she remembered so much about her change and during it, used the time to remember her human life. Jasper and Emmett, on the other hand, wanted to hear more about the hunting trip. Jasper was also interested in knowing why Bella had left them alone when she came upon them hunting. He had expected her to attack them, or at least try to take their kill away from them. The fact that she didn't, surprised him. Alice's concern focused on the condition of Bella's clothes and how soon Bella would be willing to change into something Alice considered dressier. Esme and Rose just wanted to see how the change had affected Bella, and Rose was concerned about moving. Usually, after someone was changed, the family had to move to an unpopulated area just so the newborn would not be tempted to attack a human.

Aleksey was the only one not thinking about Bella at that moment; Joanne consumed his thoughts, which were abundantly clear.

"Edward, why does my mom smell funny? What is wrong with her?" Bella came back to the comment she had made earlier when she realized her mother was in the house. She stood remarkably still as she began to notice the scents around her, and then she murmured extremely softly, "She smells somewhat like Uncle Peter." Suddenly she looked at me as she said, "He didn't! Did he?"

I knew instantly what she was asking.

When Bella discovered Aleksey had bitten her mother, she first lashed out at him in anger; first by hitting him – and I do mean 'hit' because she sent him backwards into the wall leaving a slight dent in the wall – and then yelling at him. When she finally calmed down, he was able to explain to her that Joanne had first suggested the change a number of years earlier. In fact, it was soon after Joanne had extracted a promise from him to change Bella if Bella's life were ever in mortal danger.

Aleksey had only agreed because he believed that, after her change, she would outlive her husband, and then he could tell her about his love for her. It didn't mean she would choose to stay with him, but he was willing to risk that rejection. Of course, he hadn't told Bella this, but he had kept his thoughts on the topic entirely open to me.

It was during the three days of Joanne's change that we first discovered one of Bella's remarkable talents. Jasper and Aleksey had done what they could to ease Joanne's pain, but she still screamed. Bella stayed by her bedside right after she finished yelling at Aleksey and then allowing him to explain the situation.

On the second day, I could see the pain in Bella's eyes as she held her mother's hand, and then, she said to her mother, "Mom, remember the pain is temporary, and remember that in one day the pain will stop. Visualize how the sky looks on a clear autumn day. Listen to the birds singing. Hear the breeze rustling the leaves and watch as the loose leaves are caught in the breeze, pulled from their branches, and lightly drift down to the ground on that same breeze. Feel the breeze swirling around you cooling your skin and whispering softly that winter is coming. Feel, hear, and focus only on these things. Think about nothing else," and while Bella spoke, I watched as calmness settled upon her mother's features.

Jasper looked up in amazement as he said, "I can feel her calmness. It's as if she feels no pain. Bella, what did you do?"

* * *

**AN: There is an epilogue, but if you have any questions you feel are unresolved, ask them before I post the very last chapter. I wish to thank everyone who has sent reviews because those readers are the ones who kept this story going. Happy Holidays. MidnightWalking and the rest of the cast who are as real to me as they are to many of the readers - especially Emmett who keeps whispering ideas into my ear.**


	74. Chapter 74 Epilogue

**AN: I still do not own the Cullen family or Bella.**

**Here it is, the final chapter, and before Christmas. I wish to thank all the Beta readers that have help work on this with for during the past few years, and even though I lost a few, their comments and assistance was still important to me. I also wish to thank those of you who have replied to almost every chapter, and you know who you are because I have replied to most of the reviews that I have received. These reviews were significantly important to me while going through the three major surgeries that I've had while writing this story.**

**Now for the fun thank you – although this might sound extremely odd, I need to thank the characters in this story who have been influential as well in the development of this story. Although they are fictitious, they are also very real because as I wrote they whispered to me about what to include, what to change, and what to omit. Of them all, I've enjoyed Emmett the most because of his humor especially when I was having problems, and while I went through after surgery pain.**

**Once again, thank you too all the readers around the world for keeping this story alive, and I wish I would have heard from more of you from the eastern part of the world.**

**Now, enjoy this last look at the Cullen family.**

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**Epilogue – [November 2011]**

We were all sitting around the living room celebrating the end to Bella's story; well, at least, the end to the story of her old life and the beginning of her new one as my wife and as a vampire.

"You know what's wrong with that ending?" Emmett asked the room in general, and we all waited for him to provide the answer. "You left out two important things."

"And just what would those be?" His mind revealed exactly what those two events were to me, but I asked the obvious anyway.

"The first would be Jasper's reaction to Bella's actions during the hunting trip."

It was the first event he had thought about, and I waited for Jasper to add the comment I heard in the forefront of his mind.

His response began with a chuckle, "Well, it had been an interesting moment when I saw her. I was ready to take her down if she attacked, but I couldn't tell what your reaction would be, and then Alice never flinched but kept drinking, and I don't mind telling you that her reaction confused me."

"I didn't see her attacking," Alice replied. "It was simply not an option, so I ignored her just like she ignored us."

"Well, it surprised me," Jasper added, causing me to chuckle.

"I have to admit that it surprised me as well. I would have helped stop her, but when she veered away from both of you, I continued to follow her," I admitted.

"I wasn't about to attack my brother and sister over some deer when I had already caught the scent of those bears. Even Emmett would not have preferred the deer. Besides, I knew it wouldn't have been right to attack them, and the thought honestly never crossed my mind," Bella said as she smiled first at Jasper and then at me. "What's the second thing that was omitted, Emmett?" I had a feeling Bella wanted to change the subject because there had been a lot of talk among the family after Bella's first hunt, and even the next few hunts that followed that. It had embarrassed Bella to be the focal point of so many conversations, but then Bella's transformation and non-normal behavior had everyone discussing the reasons behind her abnormality, as they called it. I kept reassuring Bella that she was not abnormal but superior to the rest of us because she did not have that awkward transition period all newborns went through.

Bella seemed immune to the desires that generally accompanied most newborns; even her mother followed the norm after her change, but not Bella. She was vastly different, and as I said, superior to the normal vampire. Even her change generated much discussion. Most humans took, at most, twenty-four hours to change, but Bella's transition took a little over three days, but as Aleksey said, one could contribute it to her will to live even though she wanted to become one of us. Carlisle also wondered if it didn't relate to all the life-threatening situations Bella had faced as a child, and how even in the face of deadly situations, she fought to stay alive.

"The second thing that should have been mentioned in that chapter," Emmett's words broke into my thoughts, "was Bella's father turning up three days after Joanne's change and how he pleaded with both of them to return home after he found out they were both staying with us for an extended amount of time."

Bella laughed, "I was surprised he didn't say something about my eyes. I had been led to believe that burgundy was a result of vampires drinking human blood, and that it should have only been a ring around the brown of my eyes."

"I still don't have an answer for that enigma," Carlisle admitted. He had searched through every record he owned looking for information about eye coloring in newborns, but no one he had interviewed over the years had ever encountered a newborn with burgundy eyes. "The other side to that was it took you only a few months before they reverted and formed the golden ring. It took the normal amount of time for your mother's ring to turn gold."

"Okay, so we will all admit that nothing about my transformation was normal. Does that really surprise anyone?" Bella would point out the obvious about herself.

"Fine, Bella's abnormal, and that does not surprise me, but still, what she did to her father was amazing," Emmett admitted.

"Well, let's not forget what actually happened when Richard showed up," Aleksey said.

"He wasn't very happy to see you, for one thing," Joanne replied as she smiled at her husband.

"No, he wasn't, dear," Aleksey smiled back as he spoke.

"Well, it was a shock for him to find out we would not be returning to Montana with him," Bella added.

"Yes, but let's not forget how Bella made him change his mind about all of that," Alice added.

"Well, we wouldn't want to expand on her ability too much," I added as I took Bella's hand and began idly to play with the rings on her finger.

"What, you're afraid of letting the world know how special our Bella is?" Emmett chuckled deeply, thinking about how easy it had been for Bella to convince her father to believe something different from what he had seen, and then his willingness to accept the explanation Carlisle had provided. "Besides, you already hinted at her ability in one of the first chapters," he added.

"Well, we do want to 'protect' the extent of some of our secrets," I hinted.

Aleksey chuckled deeply, "I think Jerome already knew our Bella would be extra special when he first met her as a human."

"I'm sure he did," Carlisle added.

"Still, I think it is better if we leave it at what has already been hinted at earlier in Bella's tale," I replied. "There is no sense in bringing down unwanted interest on our family."

Emmett laughed, "I think between the 'Twilight' series, the movies, and this interesting twist on our lives, it may be a little too late to shy away from interest."

"I'm not so sure about that," Bella spoke up for the first time. "Most people who read fan fiction stories believe them to be fictional stories anyway. Look at the responses we received. Everyone still thinks my ability is to be a shield, but fail to look beyond that because the last Twilight book said that was my ability. Besides that, I think it is hardly likely anyone will believe we are real or that Edward's journal entries are real, and I have to admit it has been fun to read the story from Edward's point of view." She paused and kissed my cheek. "I loved hearing you tell our story, but I think you were too noble."

"Noble?" Joanne asked. "How so?"

"Well, he could very well have gone into more detail about my klutziness, my less than perfect looks, my scarred body, and my lame sense of humor," Bella informed us all.

"You were never any of those things to me," I amended.

"Well, you avoided me for almost a year," she replied teasingly.

"That's only because he was trying to prove he felt nothing for you," Emmett laughed as he hugged Rose to him. "If he had been man enough to face his true feelings, I would never have had to manipulate that game to get the two of you in the closet."

"What if he had never kissed me?" Bella asked as she snuggled up to my side, and I wrapped my arm tighter around her.

Emmett chortled, "He couldn't resist you in that tight space. He had either to kiss you or bite you, and I was betting on the kissing. I saw how he watched that bottle every time someone spun it. You could see the jealousy in his eyes every time it looked like the bottle would stop on you. It was worse when you spun the bottle. He stopped breathing until the bottle ended up pointing to either Jasper or I, and even then, I think he was afraid one of us would kiss you. No, I would have bet anything that night that he would kiss you once I got the two of you in the closet."

"You were playing spin the bottle?" Joanne asked. I guess Bella had never told her that story or she had forgotten it, and she must have skipped those chapters because not only did I write about the event, but also Emmett added his spin on what happened.

"I didn't get kissed by anyone but Emmett, Jasper, and Edward, and Emmett and Jasper only kissed me on the cheek," Bella explained.

Aleksey and Joanne both laughed as Bella defended herself. Maybe she would always feel like she had to explain herself to her mom, which made me glad my human mother was no longer around. Esme never made us feel like children except when we broke one her few rules or a piece of furniture in the house; of which, Emmett was the guiltiest on the last score.

"Well, I still say that is what brought the two of you together, and I humbly take credit for it," Emmett chuckled.

"Just wait a minute, I helped in setting up that game as well," Jasper added with a huff. "You can't take all the credit, and don't forget Alice's contribution. If it hadn't been for her, there wouldn't have been a party in the first place."

Emmett laughed in response.

"And I still say it was interesting about Bella's father," Alice chimed in, wanting to direct the conversation away from who should take credit for Bella and I being together.

"Richard was really upset," Joanne added.

"Poor dad," Bella leaned her head against my shoulder, "it was really a hard time for him. First, my trauma missing Edward, then having his superiors call to Washington, D.C., and finally returning home only to find his family missing. That all had to be rough on him. It didn't help when he saw you standing beside Uncle Aleksey." It had taken Bella some time, but she finally stopped calling him Uncle Peter, but it seemed very natural for her to call him 'uncle'.

"What he didn't understand, malyutka," despite the passage of time, he still called her 'little one' because she would always be that in his mind, "was that I was protecting him from your mom," Aleksey responded. "You might have been born into this existence with great restraint, but your poor mother wasn't. Had I not held her back, she would have bitten your dad."

"You did have a strong hold on me, but that wasn't what stopped me," Joanne clarified, and Aleksey gave her a disbelieving look. "It was Bella. I could see it in her eyes. She would never have allowed me to harm Richard."

"You did well mom, but you're right. Since you and I were the strongest at that time, I knew I could stop you, but I didn't want to hurt you either. I hoped by keeping my eyes on you that it would help deter you from making a serious error. Dad still was shocked when he saw both of us. Even Edward could sense his confusion and hear a few of his thoughts. Dad knew something had happened to both of us just because of how we looked, but he had no desire to know what. He was happy staying in the dark. Then, when I explained we would both stay with Dr. Cullen and his family because of a serious illness, he wanted to accept that reason for our absence. I was upset when I found out the military was sending him to Vietnam as a liaison officer, though. Even if it meant a promotion, it still scared me that something might happen while he was over there."

"I agree with you, Bella. Even though the relationship between your father and I had been strained that last year, it didn't mean I didn't still have feelings for him. I just didn't love him as I did when I was younger. I think his over-protectiveness of you began wearing on my feelings for him when you were still a child, but nothing I said seemed to calm his fears that something harmful might happen to you." Joanne had long ago filed divorce papers, but she had waited until Richard had returned from Vietnam and informed her and Bella he was retiring from the military.

I believe he knew it was coming because she never moved back in with him before he left on his assignment, and I know he sensed that their marriage had serious problems.

"Well, he did get to see me graduate from high school before he left, and we had a second wedding just so he could give me away. I think it was the best decision not to tell him we had been married in Reno. I think it would have hurt him to know that mom signed the papers allowing us to get married and then never told him about her decision."

"There were so many things that I kept from your father during that time."

"Such as what, mom?" I believe Bella wanted to know, finally, what her mother had been doing during those last few months before they moved to Great Falls.

"Well, I had actually taken a job as Aleksey's receptionist, and on the weekend, while your father was gone on his trips, I would go down to the massage parlor and help Aleksey decorate, and I would be there on the weekends when he saw clients who could not come in during the week."

"So you were just working with him, nothing else?" Bella asked.

"Bella, did you think that I would allow your mother to cheat on your father?" Aleksey's tone was shocked with undertones of one who was hurt by that suspicion.

"Well, maybe not cheating on him, but I didn't think it was work related. I'm glad to hear it was, and I hadn't ever meant to ask that, but with the conversation the way it was, it seemed an appropriate time to clear the air about all the sneaking around that seemed to be going on. Besides, Edward wouldn't tell me what was happening between the two of you," she looked up at me with a frown.

I could only smile and say, "Love, I really didn't know what was happening between them. All I knew was that she was spending time with him at the massage parlor and that was the extent of my knowledge."

"Well, I think your father was a great man despite his protectiveness. He really did love you, Bella, and considering his past, he felt a vast amount of guilt anytime something detrimental happened to you. You have to remember that he carried around a lot of guilt about his brother's death as well, and he felt completely responsible for that accident. It was very hard for him to see it as just an accident, and not something that he was to blame for," Rose offered. She was Richard's staunchest supporter and not just because he offered her a job for a number of years.

"Dad really did like you," Bella admitted.

"Yes, and I wasn't even jealous of him," Emmett added. "I think he taught you more than anyone else could have just by giving you that job in his garage." He smiled at Rose as he spoke.

After retiring, Bella's father had opened a garage for repairing all makes, models, and types of vehicles. He and Rose also specialized in foreign vehicles, which made his garage superior to any other in Tacoma. Rose thrived on the opportunity and learned everything he could teach her, and then they both read books on repairing the newest models of vehicles as they came out. It was the longest Rose stayed in one place. While the rest of us moved to another city, Emmett and she stayed in Tacoma for ten years. It was easy for people to believe that Rose took special care of herself making her appear younger than she actually was, but eventually, they had to leave and returned to the family. We had been living in a small town in Oregon at the time. Bella wanted to remain near enough to visit her father off and on, and Aleksey and Joanne had moved to another resort town in Colorado where Aleksey continued working as a masseur.

"It was a sad day when he died. It is the one time I regretted not being able to cry. Your father was a great man, and his memory will live with me for all eternity," Rose admitted with more sincerity than I had ever seen her display before.

Richard had died in 1975 in a car accident; a drunk driver had hit him. When a police officer had contacted Bella as next of kin about the tragedy, she went into a state of mild shock. I don't think she recovered until the day of the funeral. She arranged every aspect of the funeral in a dazed state, and even her mother was unable to bring her out of it. Bella's father had a full honors military burial, and I was proud of how Bella pulled it all together to honor her father's memory. It was shortly after his passing that Aleksey and Joanne finally married. Both had felt it improper to marry before that, and as Joanne had once told Bella, they had all the time in the world, so it wasn't hard for them to wait before they finally joined as husband and wife.

"Well, I still think the story was a lovely idea. What made you finally decided to publish it on fan fiction, Edward?" Joanne's question also indicated that she had not taken the time to read the entire story.

"What chapter did you begin reading at?" I finally asked her.

"Well, I must confess that I didn't start at the beginning. I might never have read any of it if Aleksey hadn't said something about it, and the first chapter I read dealt with the bet Bella made with Emmett. I could not help laughing when Bella made the bet about Alice putting that pin through her skin. That little oddity of Bella's was something neither of us shared with others. I don't even think her father knew about it."

"Yes, it proved useful because I won the ski trip from it, and I was finally able to see Uncle Aleksey again." I noticed a frown forming on Bella's lips as she continued. "I think it was cruel of you not to tell me that Uncle Aleksey and you had kept in contact. I would have loved to talk to him."

"We thought it best if your father didn't know about the phone calls. How could I have explained to him about Aleksey's interest in you if you had accidentally said something about talking to him?" her mother asked.

"I would never have let something like that slip," Bella declared. "Also, Edward didn't publish the first chapter of this story. Someone else did."

"Really, who?" Aleksey asked the question everyone else was thinking.

"I first thought Alice did it," I admitted. It had been a fleeting thought at best, but it had been my first guess when I saw the story posted. Since then, I monitored every member of my family for any hint of who might have done it.

"As nice as that compliment is, it wasn't me, and I also know that Jasper did not post that first chapter either," Alice informed everyone in the room. "I thought it was Rose," she then added.

"Why would I do something like that?" Rose appeared none too pleased at the accusation.

Emmett laughed, "Rose dislikes change more than anyone else in the family, and this type of attention could have caused a change in our lives because of the unwanted interest."

"But she did add one of the chapters," Jasper pointed out.

"That was only after the story had been out for almost a year, and then I wanted to share what Richard had said to me. Too many readers were posting hateful comments about him, and I wanted them to know he was a good man, even if a little misguided." Rose would always defend Richard because of everything he had done for her.

"Well, we have nothing to fear in regards to undesired attention," Jasper offered. "Most people believe this story is fictional and our 'ghost' poster has kept up that impression very well. Even though Midnight has hinted at the truth, she has also played down the belief if anyone has come too close to the truth."

"So, who did begin the posting?" Joanne asked again.

Everyone looked around the room expecting someone to admit the truth, but no one spoke up. I could not even find a hint of anyone thinking about the act except for guesses as to who it might have been. Jasper suspected Carlisle, but Carlisle thought Emmett might have begun it as a joke. Emmett and Rose had both thought it was Alice or Jasper despite their earlier denials. The only mind that did not focus on who it might be was Esme.

"Did you do it?" I asked as I looked over at her.

"Do you really think I would sneak into your room, read your private journal, and then post it on a site I had never heard of until Alice showed it to me?" I could tell from her tone that I had offended her by my accusation.

"Then who did begin posting the story?" I asked, feeling rather frustrated that no one was willing to admit being the one to post the first chapter.

I heard Carlisle chuckle as he looked at me. "Edward, has it ever occurred to you that there are only three people in this room whose minds are more or less closed to you." He looked from me to Aleksey and Joanne, and then, back to me.

I could hear Joanne's shocked reaction to Carlisle's words and Aleksey opened his mind to me with the thought, 'I don't have that much free access in your home, and I spent too many years of hiding what I am to risk exposure,' so that left only one mind that I could not hear.

"Aleksey couldn't have done it," Esme spoke up for him. "Why would he come into our house and rummage around in Edward and Bella's room? Besides, I don't think he even knew about us until we met him in Colorado." Esme did admire Aleksey because he had been patient with the wait until he could marry Joanne. She thought it took great restraint on his part, and after the talk I had with him, all those years ago, about the pain of missing Bella, I knew she was right about his self-control because he waited for Joanne to be ready to marry him.

"He did know about you," Joanne admitted. I had wondered about that, but never felt right about asking. "As soon as I knew someone was entering Bella's room during the darkest hours of the night, I called Aleksey to speak to him about what was happening." She smiled up at him, and I saw her squeeze his hand. "He told me to be vigilant and watch for signs of weakness from Bella when she awoke in the morning. He also said no other like him could harm Bella because of a mark he placed on her as a child." She shifted her eyes from her husband to Bella. "It was the first time I knew he had marked you, but I didn't ask for details about it at that time." She laughed softly before continuing. "I asked him a lot of questions after I was changed."

Aleksey chuckled at her last comment. "It was a quick but intense history of almost everything I knew."

"So, not only did you keep from me the fact that Uncle Aleksey always knew where we were, but you didn't see fit to tell me you knew about Edward or that you had told Uncle Aleksey about him." Bella radiated hurt from her mother's omission.

"Honey, I thought it best that he knew just in case something happened. I trust him, and I didn't know it was Edward coming into your room. I just knew it was someone who could endanger your life. I didn't even know about the Cullen family until you introduced me to Alice, and that was weeks later. Besides, I knew I couldn't reveal to anyone that I knew about vampires, or that I knew Aleksey was a vampire. I remembered my grandmother's stories, and the one thing she stressed the most was appear ignorant of supernatural beings."

"I'm glad you listened to your grandmother. With all the supernatural beings that were around because of Bella, it could have been risky for you to admit what you had seen, heard, and knew," Aleksey told her, and he was right. Had any Protector discovered that Joanne saw and understood more than the normal human did, she could have gotten into serious trouble.

"Well, that still doesn't tell us who actually submitted that first chapter," Emmett reminded us all.

As I scanned the room, I realized there was only one possibility that remained.

"Bella?" I looked down at her as she rested against me and saw her eyes staring up at me.

"It was such a beautiful story, and the fact that you were doing it for me made it even more special. At first, I was only going to share it with Alice, but then I thought Emmett should be able to read it as well because of his role in bringing us together."

"See, I told you I was the one who brought them together," Emmett whispered to Rose as Bella spoke.

"Then I realized I would have to take the journal out of the room or bring them both into the room, and then they would both have to hide the fact from you that they had read it, which isn't always possible for Emmett," she smiled over at Emmett who frowned at her. "Well, it's true," she told him. "Anyway, I noticed that Emmett was reading some of the stories on fan fiction, and I decided I could best share the story with the two of them, and the rest of the family, that way. I didn't really think we would achieve such a large following or from so many places around the world."

"I was surprised to see people in Russia reading the story," Aleksey added, "but then many people in my home country believe the old tales of vampires, werewolves, and witches."

"People here believe in those mythical figures, as well." Emmett laughed as he spoke.

Bella continued looking at me as she asked, "Are you upset with me?"

I responded by embracing and kissing her.

I heard Joanne whispering to Aleksey as I continued kissing Bella, "I think it's time we go home," and everyone laughed softly at her comment.

I stopped kissing Bella and whispered, for only her to hear, in her ear, "We'll talk about this more in our room, Mrs. Cullen."

A soft laugh rumbled in her chest, telling me she knew I wasn't upset with her.

It was her story, and if she wanted to share it, then I wasn't the one who would deny her. I could never deny her anything and that was how I would spend my eternity, giving Bella whatever she wanted.

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**AN: To those of you who celebrate Christmas, my characters and I wish you a very Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday, and to those who do not celebrate this holiday, they we wish you a very Happy New Year.**

**A review now would be much appreciated. I would like to see this story go out with a large number of comments about what your overall thoughts where on this story rather than just this chapter; although chapter reviews are also appreciated.**


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